Brown Things On The Ground

When I was super young—probably way too young to be going down to the lake near our house on my own—I came across this black thing on the ground. I couldn't figure out what it was, but it looked like a delicious chestnut like the ones my mom would bring home in huge bags to both snack on and feed squirrels with. So I did what any sensible pre-kindergartener would do, and took a bite. ... It was not a chestnut.

To this day I can't imagine what it was, but it was the absolute worst tasting thing I've ever put in my mouth. I still remember crying as I was walking all the way back home, sure I'd been poisoned and was going to die.

avalypuff

Check For Bugs!!

Not me, but I made spaghetti once a few months back in the early fall, and I guess after the initial plates, I left it to cool uncovered so I could put the leftovers away. So the next day my husband is enjoying some spaghetti for lunch when CRUNCH he bit into a stink bug that had landed in it. If you know how badly a stink bug smells, you can only imagine how bad it tastes. My husband was projectile vomiting within five minutes and it's been months and he won't let me make spaghetti anymore because it reminds him of it. I cannot fathom how bad that must have tasted.

snootyboopers

Awww...Ewwwww

Umbilical cord blood from a complete stranger. Not even lying, I use to be a paramedic and had to deliver a baby in the field once. I did everything exactly how I was taught in school and clamped the cord down and proceeded to cut it with my scalpel. They neglected to teach us in school that the clamped part of the cord is still under pressure. Blood squirted in my mouth, on my shirt and on my pants, so I basically had to suction a newborn baby and stimulate her while savoring the taste of the same nutrients that kept her alive the past 9 months. To make matters worse, the mom wouldn't name the baby after me.

tofew71796

Simply Poison

Once I popped some electrolyte/mineral pills in my mouth and started chomping away on my way to the gym. I thought I had grabbed my almonds. They began foaming and tasted extremely bitter and sour at the same time. I thought I was getting poisoned.

Also once tried an olive straight off a tree. Also tasted like poison. Don't recommend.

wanderingmnd

A Butt's Foot

A cheese ball at this church lady's house (one of my grandma's friends). It tasted like dirty socks that a cat had been playing with for months. But I have never laughed as hard as I did that day...

I (stupidly) asked my then 11-year-old sister (who is on the spectrum and thus has problems modulating her voice) if she had had a cheese ball. She proceeds to effectively yell:

"YEAH IT TASTED LIKE A BUTT'S FOOT"

The look of death we got from that old lady...

becauseimcountolaf

Persppppppppppppppp

A properly ripened persimmon, in my opinion, is really good - but one year around christmas I got one that must have been under ripe or something because it tasted good for 0.02 seconds before the texture turned into literal sand and sucked every particle of moisture out of your mouth. Literally the worst thing ever.

TatooineLight

Aspicuous

When I was young my grandparents on my dads side spent every Christmas Eve at our house. It was great.

Except my Grandma's contribution to the dinner. Which was an awful dish called Tomato Aspic. It is basically tomato juice Jello, and is every bit as awful as it sounds. The whole family hated it, but my grandma couldnt cook, and did the best she could.

I remember being 10, and tried sneaking some to my dog that would eat everything from socks to dog poop.

He growled at me and bared his teeth.

If a dog that eats poop and licks his own butthole tells you to get that crap away from him, you dont eat it either.

Kastba

Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up

A Slim Shady.

It was a drink I ordered from a bar in Singapore.

A shot of warm bourbon poured into a warm half pint of Murphy's.

The temperature in Singapore as you can imagine is something akin to being in a hot oven all day all night all year round. Even breathing is difficult. As a tourist you get hot and thirsty.

I think that's the only drink in my life I just said f**k it after one sip.. I ordered it, I'll pay for it but bring me a cold water to get that out of my mouth please. God damn

Hugh_Jampton

Flavor Overload

One time I was eating a bag of chips (I think they were Doritos) while driving late at night. It was dark so I couldn't really see what I was eating. Turns out in the bag there was a big concentrated clump of flavoring dust that formed somehow. Popped that whole sucker right in my mouth. BIG mistake. You might think it would just taste like chip dust, but no. It tasted like dirt and pain. It's like there was so much condensed flavor that my brain had an integer overflow error. I nearly drove off the road.

So if you ever find something like that at the bottom of a bag of chips, I strongly advise not trying anything more than a little nibble of it.

MrEmptySet

Not Everything Works With Bacon Flavor

I was in a mall one time and the candy store there had a cooler with a bunch of sodas. One of these was Bacon Soda. Me being a very curious person who likes trying new things was like, "Hey, I like bacon, I like carbonated drinks, why don't I try carbonated bacon?"

I went outside to get some fresh air and try this soda because I didn't want to accidentally spill anything. I took a sip and it was unbearable. It tasted like a dog treat mixed with what you'd imagine burnt rubber taste like. The worst part was there were people around so not only did I have to hide the disgust on my face, I kept drinking so people wouldn't judge me for wasting a soda. The lesson here is the classic Curiosity killed the cat mixed with don't be afraid of what people think. Seriously, don't.

A_True_Unus