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The naming process of new life is an enormous responsibility and can be an emotionally exhausting decision. This person is going to be glued to this "title" forever, or until they're tired of being saddled to it so they change it; when they're free of their parent's constant gaze. Thankfully I will never have children but I do have to name pets. And that is taxing as well. Thankfully there are people around who can set us all straight when we're not thinking straight.

Redditor u/Kubanochoerus wanted to hear about some of the bad ideas they were able to help avert by asking... Nurses and midwives of Reddit, have you ever tried to talk new parents out of a baby name? What was it?

The people on this chain had some bad ideas about naming humans. Like, for real not good ideas. And medical staff already has a tough enough job by delivering babies. Clearly they also have to be sound voices of reason. Especially when people are in their most emotional state... post birth.

TINA!!!

the best tina GIF by London Theatre Direct Giphy

My boyfriend's grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn't allowed because "it wasn't a real name" and his grandmother had no other backup baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming "Tina", she named her daughter Tina because she couldn't think of anything else on the spot.

goddesswithgatos

Poor Mo...

Boss's friend named their kid Monster Galileo [last name]. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer's name but guy, being a kid named 'monster' has to be rough in school.

WeaselBit

Be Normal...

My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son "Collin" but wanted to give him a "unique" spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn't make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N.

They tried to name their son colon. As in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmates mother explained this to them they were painfully embarrassed and asked her to write it down with the normal spelling instead. I don't think they'll ever live it down.

skippyist

Listed

In France there used to be a list of names you had to choose from (mostly based on that day's name saint and 3-4 others). Which is why there were so many Jean / Marc / Louis /Phillipe / Marie / Anne / Valerie, etc in France.

Now it's a free choice.... but anyone can ask a judge to cancel a name-choice and force the parent(s) to suggest one the judge finds acceptable. So no names like Coca-Cola, Xerox, Nutella, Sex Fruit, Devil, Blue Murder... PLUS the rejected name gets added to a "banned" list to streamline the rejection in the future.

LozNewman

Dirty...

Mud Caterpillar GIF by Mitteldeutscher Rundfunk Giphy

Not a nurse, but as a med student a patient wanted to name her child Mudpiles. The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom changed her mind.

bigpsych5150

You would think people were drunk when the baby arrives. You really should wait until after you sign a birth certificate. For example, it feels this next group of people may have imbibed on a few shots and thought... "hey that name sounds like fun."

Midwife Down

I once had a student named Linoleum. Some midwife dropped the ball on that one. My brother wanted to name our soon to be younger brother Corn Peas and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad about asking for his input and then rejecting it. Fortunately, they got over that and passed on the name.

BigOrangeBall

Hey Vi...

And here my mom was talked out of naming me Violet. "Sounds like an old lady" they said. I got one of the most common names of the 80's. When I went to college I lived in a hallway where there were literally 6 of us. My roommate had the same first name too.

I do like my name because it sounds good with my last name but I have only once met a Violet in 37 years and she's my friend's niece.

Maleficent_Mink

All the Dylans...

Not in the medical field, but a teacher. There are certain names that each teacher avoids because we've had a student (or seven) with that name who were difficult in one way or another.

One year, there were four Dylans in the same cohort and they were all hell on wheels. One of the teachers at that grade level had a baby with his wife that spring, and she named the kid Dylan. The rest of us were like, "didn't you vehemently veto that?"

He just shrugged and said it was important to her and he wasn't the superstitious type. Flash forward a few years, I saw a toddler tearing through the salad bar at the grocery store, spilling things, moving spoons from one container to another, reaching in with his hands... it was Dylan.

BobosBigSister

Oh Katrina

I had a coworker named Trina. When she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband had decided to name the baby Latrine. I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers defecate into. She was horrified and changed it to Katrina. Two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

SpecificMost19

Pegged

Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydog Giphy

I have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me 'Peggy' by the midwife. I was born missing a leg. I was given my first physical false leg in a year, but it was always obvious the leg wasn't there!

orangemessy

I know Hollywood has made it seem glamorous to choose off the wall names (I'm talking to you Gwyneth Paltrow) but Hollywood is crazy. So think long and hard before you saddle a new human with some ridiculous moniker. Remember... they have to go through life with it. You don't.

REDDIT

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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.

Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.

U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?

​Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.

Was it worth it?

peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy

He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.

Memoryduel

Scientific method:

> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'

> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended

> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended

> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended

Glez_fdezdavila_

Uhhh what was the intention here?

He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.

Kurtles12

​Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.

Boom theret.

At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."

So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.

Angusthedangus

I hope there was no overlap in the columns.

Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy

She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.

Fun-Acadia-8735

2 separate lists or just the 1?

OppositeYouth

Same list 2 columns lol.

Fun-Acadia-8735

Holy crap.

Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.

This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.

Roberted1982

​Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.

Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.

Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.

A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.

Theonering1

Every school had the cat girl.

cat dragging GIF Giphy

The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.

Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.

SendmePMsofyourBMs

Mood.

Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.

Iheartrevolution

I was exactly this kind of weird.

He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.

The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.

10per

I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man

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