Health Inspectors Share The Grossest Violations They've Busted People For
I've only ever known one health inspector, he was only at the job for about a year, and he has literally never eaten at a restaurant that didn't cook the food right in front of him again.
It's pretty fair to say he was traumatized by the things he saw in his short time at the job - and based on some of what you're about to read here ... yeah... that's not exactly a shocker.
Reddit user CalmAnxiety87 asked:
Health inspectors of Reddit. What's the grossest violations you've busted people on? Did the store get to stay open?
If you have a sensitive stomach you might want to take a deep breath and find your happy place before you start in on this article. Maybe plan a few breaks, too?
Yeah, it gets that bad.
The restaurant was an all you can eat buffet, and had a small wait staff employed to bring drinks to customers.
Almost all of the food in the buffet was too cold, and the kitchen has mice droppings all over.
But the most shocking part is, the waitress would take half finished drinks from previous tables and top them off to give to new customers.
Soda is dirt cheap! I can't imagine they saved more than $1-2 dollars a week by being so gross and lazy.
Homophobia Saved The Day!
My place of employment almost got shut down by the health inspector, but homophobia saved the day!
I was duty manager at a large, 3 level nightclub. Owners were cheap and refused to spring for decent cleaning stuff. The place was pretty grimy. Not filthy, but not likely to pass. Health inspectors never, ever showed their face... until one rolls up at 4am for a surprise inspection.
The upstairs room (generic nightclub: bad music, lasers, smoke machine etc) was just closing, and the staff had already been cleaning for half an hour so the inspector figures there's no point.
He comes to the smaller, public bar on ground level. This room is open 24/7 so it's considerably cleaner as it's open during daylight hours. He goes over EVERYTHING and finds nothing.
Clearly frustrated , he asks if there's any other rooms open. I tell him we have a 3rd room at basement level, and I'm already mentally preparing for calling my boss at 4am. We hadn't started work on this room yet and the inspector was obviously itching to shut something down, so I figured this is where the problem would be.
We head down the stairs and a few patrons leaving pass us as they head up. These patrons were 2 men, roughly the same size as vending machines. They're wearing leather harnesses, leather chaps, underwear clearly visible and not much else.
Health inspector turns to look at me, eyes like dinner plates:
Him: "This is a fa**ot bar?!?"
Me: "We're open to everyone, but the patrons are predominantly gay if that's what you're asking."
Him: "Ugh. Gross. Forget it."
And that was it. He left. Normally I'd make a formal complaint but given how unlikely we were to pass in that room, I figured it was a bad idea to draw any more attention to us.
Not a health inspector, but my dad was. He witnessed an employee of a grocery chain spray Lysol around and over the meat section in attempt to get rid of flies and the smell of rotting meat.
My dad went up to the employee and identified himself as a health inspector and the employee nearly passed out. Place was closed shortly after.
I was a health inspector for about 5 years. I saw so many things. Like:
- a cleaner using a rag and bucket to clean the floor and then immediately using the same rag to clean the prep station (literally right in front of me).
- trying to explain to a completely-stoned chef why he has to actually reheat the gravy to full temp instead of just letting it come to room temperature on the counter and serve it like that.
- throwing out the entire inventory of a large bakery (basically a warehouse) for mouse infestation (that is some interesting logistics work).
- helping a coworker serve a court summons to someone that locked him in a freezer when they didn't like the result of the health inspection.
You name it I saw it, I could go on and on.
A New Restaurant
I just bought a restaurant and we are remodeling planned on being closed for 30 days to do some updates and open.
We took over and all of us were almost sick looking at the kitchen. Roaches everywhere, old food in the stoves and ranges. Grease caked on the equipment so thick and over so many years we power washed the equipment and had to use palm Sanders to try to get rid of it.
After spending lots of money and time we had to get rid of everything in the kitchen and start over. They were serving food out of that kitchen two weeks prior and we could not use the same equipment after intense cleaning. This is all aside from the fact that they had steam warmers that had been under able to drain ad they had maggots in the water.
So we are still in the process of cleaning everything and getting new equipment.. but wow I feel bad for anyone who ate there.
Let The Health Inspector Choose
One of my friends is a health inspector and we usually let her pick the restaurants when we go out. She's not allowed to tell us specifics until they're public, but the worst things she's ever seen included:
- a local cake business operating from someone's home (which is fine, if it passes inspection and obeys regulations) where the owner let her six cats do whatever they wanted in the kitchen (which is not so fine.) Apparently they were just walking all over the ingredients and sniffing the cake batter and sh*tting in a litter box beside the oven.
- an Indian restaurant whose butter for naan bread etc (to brush on top before baking) was just in an old plastic tub that had been sat out for six months and had mouse droppings in it.
The Mop Sink
I work in restaurants and asked our inspector the worst thing he has ever seen.
He was at a Mexican restaurant and the prep cooks were fast thawing chicken in the mop sink. As in the sink they use to clean the floors with. They were doing this in front of him with no remorse. They were shocked when he made them bleach the meat to destroy it, and took off several points from their score.
Hard To Pick A Story
I am a health inspector and it's honestly hard to pick a story, because the gross sh!t I see everyday is so commonplace that I barely find it gross anymore. The restaurants in the town I work are actually, as a whole, pretty good because they get full inspection 4 times a year. They really don't have time to get super grimey!
That being said I've seen my fair share of cockroach infestations (place was full, crawling all over equipment and utensils, etc. Place was closed for over a week.)
Rats in the kitchen (actually saw one scurry from behind the cookline and out a hole in the back screen door, rat droppings were everywhere, that place closed for 1 day to clean.)
Place had mold literally so thick you could not see the color of paint covering every wall in the kitchen (they were closed for less than a day.)
Place had a full on sewage backup from the kitchen to the basement, where there was food stored. They knew it was disgusting, but remained open and just had their staff tie plastic bags over their shoes if they needed stuff from the basement. We closed it down.
The Fat Garbage ThiefGiphy
Get a call for man with a weapon at a Chinese buffet. We got there and didn't see anyone with a weapon, so we located the caller to get details. He says one of the staff had a machete and ran back into the kitchen yelling something. We hear the yelling get closer and a raccoon comes waddling through the swinging door to the kitchen followed closely by a very angry Asian dude... with a machete!
We draw weapons on him and he locks up, drops the machete, and asks why we're pointing guns at him. Umm, because you're running around a buffet with a machete?
Raccoon ghosts off somewhere.
No, they were not serving raccoon meat. It turns out the little trash panda had darted into the kitchen while the cook was on smoke break. Cook grabbed a machete to run the fat garbage thief out of the restaurant and ended up terrifying everyone. Security camera confirmed this. They still got shut down for related issues.
No Common Sense
I am a health inspector. I don't have a story to share (and I guess other inspectors don't either, hence, "I'm not an inspector) because what I see on a daily basis seems par for the course and doesn't gross me out any more. I am use to it. I can see it and write them up but I don't see it as "story" worthy. I take care of it and move on.
By the way, common sense is not common. People say "hand washing is common sense". People don't wash their hands in front of me while I am inspecting. They are so use to not washing their hands that even when they are being inspected they don't do it even to make things look good.
Probably not the grossest but I have seen goopy build up hanging out of soda machine nozzles. Probably hadn't been washed in weeks or months.
As we get older, cars become less of something that gets us from point A to point B and more of a necessity.
Not only do we need to use cars to get from one place to another, but they also double as storage spaces, private places, and, in the worst of cases, shelter.
Because of their importance in our lives, it's good to have a few things tin your car to keep you prepared. When I got my first car, my mom stocked it with the usual supplies: jumper cables, ice scraper, spare tire, and a roll of quarters. She also added a blanket, a powerful flashlight, and a knife.
While I've never needed to the knife, I was glad to know it was there, and the other items have all come in handy.
I also like to put a change of clothes in my car. You never know when someone will cut you off in the road, making you spill coffee all over your white blouse.
Redditors know there are other important things to always keep in your car, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor Ace-Venturaa asked:
"What’s one item everyone should have in their car?"
"A barf bucket. Had my dog and my kid both puke in my car. Darn dog couldn't hold the bucket."
"And a small fire extinguisher, and one of those things for breaking windows in case of an accident and the doors don’t open."
"Like, a small fire extinguisher?"
Safety First...And Always
"First aid kit"
"In Germany it is required to have a first aid kit, reflective triangles, and reflective vests in every car"
"Some kind of disposable paper like a napkin, kleenex, baby wipes, even an old shop towel. Nothing worse than needing to blow your nose in your car and you have nothing at all to use."
"A stack of chipotle napkins"
"Everyone should have somewhere in their car to store some of that unnecessary amount of napkins fast food places give us."
Capture The Moments
"Seriously, a dashcam."
"True. Half of having insurance is.. proof."
"At this point I'm surprised they're not included by manufacturer, or insurance companies don't just pay for them. Even if they're vampires who would never pay a cent they aren't forced to, simply removing all the headache involved in this stuff has to be worth it on their end."
"Person backs into your car. Claims you hit them. Dash cam settles it."
"Person claims you ran a red light (when they did), and that's why there was a crash. Dash cam settles it."
"Insurance believes liars the same as honest people - unless there is evidence. Like a dash cam record."
"I bought mine used, $15, two years ago. Once a month or so I check that it's still working. Insurance insurance, and maybe someday it'll see a bigfoot, or a meteor..."
Back On The Road
"Better yet a portable jump starter battery (like the NOCO boost). Those things are amazing. They hold a charge for months in blazing hot or freezing cold temps. They are the size of a brick. And best of all since they attach to the dead battery directly, you don't have to hope your jumper cables are long enough. They also have usb plugs to charge a phone or tablet."
Let There Be Light
"Flash light. They are cheap can be stored for years and take up little space.,It's better to have one and not need it than need one and not have it."
"I keep a headlamp instead of a flashlight. That way I can have both hands if I need to change a tire or something."
Cozy And Warm
"A blanket. Shock from a traumatic injury can cause a sharp drop in body temperature."
"After my bad wreck a few years back, I was in shock and I remember I felt so cold. I had no blanket in my car, nor did anyone else. It was middle of summer in the southern US. I felt like it was winter"
Money, Money, Money
"Emergency cash, I keep like $40 usd"
"If you're going on a road trip, stash enough cash to pay for gas to get back. If you lose your wallet you can still get home."
"That's a good one. Especially if you lost wallet and phone."
"A licensed competent driver."
"And a can of pepper spray to take care of annoying backseat drivers."
Make A List
"1- tourniquet. Preferably one inside of a good first aid kid."
"2- glass breaker. In the unlikely event you get stuck in the car as it’s going underwater, a glass breaker / seatbelt cutter combo tool can get you out safely. If you have electric windows, a tiny amount of water can disable the electronic door locks and window buttons, a spring loaded glass breaker will make short work of it. Even if you don’t have a specialized spring loaded glass breaker, something that comes to a sharp point (like a screw driver) that can be used to break the glass out can save your life."
"3- emergency blanket. The Mylar ones that look like aluminum foil cost like 2-3 dollars. If your car breaks down and it’s snowing out, you can use it to stay warm far longer than just running the heater in the car will last. The shiny foil looking side reflects your body heat back at you, and you can use it to trap heat from the car around your body core. The more expensive ones are a little better and less likely to rip, but even the cheap ones are better than nothing. Even if you don’t get an emergency blanket, a normal quilt in the trunk isn’t a bad idea either."
"4- a lighter. A lot of cars come without cigarette lighters now apparently. In an emergency you could try rigging something up using your car battery to start a fire to either stay warm or signal someone. Or you could just flick a bic. Lighters cost 50 cents. It’s not a big investment and it might save your life."
"5- flashlight. This one requires a little more maintenance than everything else I said, as you’ll have to change the batteries every once in a while even if you don’t use it. A cheap 1-2$ LED flashlight can help immensely in a lot of situations. From having a flat and needing to see to change it to locking yourself out of your house, or needing to signal someone for help so you don’t get hit on a highway, or needing to look for a key you drop that bounces under the car or into a ditch. This one can be as simple as a keychain flashlight you put on the car keys. Headlamp is even better because you can either be hands free or use it like a normal flashlight if need be."
Laughing At Clouds
"I was beginning to think I didn’t have anything on these lists and finally found one lol"
"I haven't seen anybody mention this but sunglasses. You really don't want to be caught with the full blast of the sun in your eyes while you're driving. It can seriously blind you for long enough for an accident to happen"
I have to go restock my car!
People Divulge The Most Valuable Lessons They've Ever Learned In Therapy
One morning at work, I was having a conversation with a co-worker. The subject was something we had discussed before: me, freaking out about possibly being let go since I was the last one hired and many businesses hadn't recovered the losses they suffered due to COVID.
My co-worker, who had previously just listened to me and offered platitudes, gave me some real advice that morning. The advice had come straight from her therapist.
"Think about your worry and think about if there is evidence to support that worry. If not, you shouldn't worry."
It seems simple, but it really helped me. While many businesses didn't recover, the company I worked for had, meaning there was no reason to worry about my job -- unless, of course, I spent so much time fretting over getting fired that my output suffered.
In an age where mental health is so important, therapists can really help with coping mechanisms, advice, and even your general outlook on life. Redditors know this is true and are ready to share some of the most valuable lessons they've learned in therapy.
It all started when Redditor figinjosejospe asked:
"What's the most valuable thing you’ve learned from therapy?"
Just Walk Away
"Sometimes it has to be YOU who needs to walk away from them. This an advice that was given to me when I had a toxic friendship that was draining me for years."
"I learned this lesson two years ago, and I am still struggling with it every day. I had a friend who is an alcoholic and a drug addict but a functional member of society. He would ALWAYS use me as an excuse by saying I am a bad influence on him when it was ALWAYS him doing drugs and just generally being a POS."
"One day he decided to try and sleep with my then spouse in my bed, I caught him, I did not immediately confront them about it but when I did she dumped me because she did not want to hurt his family..."
"Some people just need to go"
"I cut off a close friend a few years ago. Long story, but I’m happy I did. Feels like I just took a huge dump."
The Real Me
"No one sees the version of you that you see of yourself."
"Very true! It's one of those "we are our own worst critic" situations. The way I see myself and the way I'm described by others seems dramatically different"
Just Say No
"I can say, "No" to people who won't accept a no. (100 ways to say "No" was a"homework" assignment.)"
"Additionally, "No." is a complete sentence."
"You don't have to justify no."
You Fix You
"For me, therapy taught me that my personal issues were my responsibility to fix. Blaming others accomplishes nothing. To improve, you have to take responsibility for things in your control."
"This so much this! Mine told me “it’s not your fault that these things happened to you but it is your responsibility to make sure you don’t take it out on others”"
We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve
"I learned that I don’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone around me at all times. I think I kind of was a pushover before and now I’m getting better at setting boundaries and standing up for myself. Not everyone in my closer circle is happy about this, but now i’m learning that it is also okay to let friendships go. I don’t owe anyone my friendship. Might sound weird, idk. But yeah :)"
"Oh man. Same. You should have been there for my last family gathering. Me not defaulting to servant/punching back like they were used to led to an all out uproar. The worst part was they took it out on my wife, blamed her for supporting my independence and right to not be used. It's been a while since I've seen most of them now and I had to come to terms with the fact that I will probably never be close with my sister again."
"You teach people how to treat you"
Be Good To Yourself
"Being kind to yourself is so hard because we’re (older gen maybe a bit more I guess?) taught implicitly for years NOT to do it. It is something new that you are starting against something much worse long established Like every new skill it will take time to develop and that is totally ok"
"Related: Don’t punish yourself for a lapse in “discipline” when trying something new. Take a break (Whether it’s minutes or days or longer) and try again. It’s not a setback, it’s a readjustment to helping build a stronger habit to give the version of you that you want to be a chance. 10 push-ups today might not seem like much but if yesterday was zero, then 10 is a lot."
Listen To Your Heart
"It's made me realise just how little I listen to my emotions normally - and that emotions are amoral and can't be rationalized away, they just exist."
"When my therapist asks me how I'm feeling about something, so often I don't know - or I do know the answer, but it feels ugly/mean, so I don't want to admit it, even to myself. Once you clock how often that's happening, you realize why bottling so much stuff up is leading to your general unhappiness/stress."
"Still working on this, but it's surprised me to have that big of a revelation when I thought of myself as being very emotionally mature. (Turns out I can manage everyone else's but not my own)"
Not All My Fault
"That it really IS my brain chemistry and not just a Me Problem."
"Due to circumstances, I had to complete a 10 week program in order to qualify for getting assessed for medications. My first therapist quit after my 9th session, and since she was the only one offering the program at that clinic, I had to start again with another from week 1"
"Both told me that I'm doing everything right, that I know and use all the coping mechanisms, that they can't REALLY help me from thier position and both reccomended I get medicated (tbf I have my own reservations about exactly how much work can really be done in 10 sessions against a life time of Being Like This but that's a whole other issue)"
"But the difference is honestly night and day."
"I can't explain to you the f*cking PEACE I feel now. Not having a melt down due to taking a little bit too long putting change in my purse at the grocery store, not having months of fog with no memory of events, being able to just exist in my body and environment without feeling like I've called doom upon myself for the crime of existing in a space."
"I still have work to do on myself, but oh my God it's so much easier."
"You don't HAVE TO like your parents. It's not some sort of requirement."
"Jumping off your comment: that your parents are just people you share the planet with and you may not like who your parents are as people and that's okay."
"I remember my big breakthrough moment with my therapist was."
""You know both your parents are terrible people right?""
""Well, they have both done bad things, sure.""
""Count the number of good things they have done for you and then the bad things to you""
""Yeah. You owe them nothing.""
You Feel What You Feel
"The more you run from your own feelings, the stronger they get. It’s only through acknowledging and facing your feelings that you’ll be able to work through them. Also, labeling feelings as “good” or “bad” is counterproductive. Your feelings are valid. How you process and express those feelings is what’s important."
"Don't accept criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice"
"No one can walk all over you if you don't lay down on the floor for them"
I wish someone had told me that when I was younger!
I believe good parents are miracle workers.
And I know for a FACT that it is not a job I am capable of doing.
But, based on simple moments I've witnessed, I do believe there are some people I can do better than... if I had to.
Not everyone is born to be a parent.
And the crux of life is that, as a parent, there is no way to save your child from not being a mess somehow.
Case in point...
A recently deleted Redditor wanted to compare notes on parents, so they asked:
"What screams 'I’m a terrible parent?'"
I can't tell anyone how to be a parent.
But I have a few ideas on how to make a few tweaks.
Yell CUT!recording homer simpson GIFGiphy
"Youtube Family channel parents."
"I'm SUPER fascinated in finding out how this generation of kids who are growing up with cameras in their faces turn out. Seeing as generations tend to do the opposite of how their parents raised them, it’d be funny if the babies born now, completely revolt against all things social media 😅."
Just Say It!
"Not saying sorry to your kid when you are in the wrong or made a mistake."
"I used to struggle with this. I became so used to excusing my existence that I became habitually defensive. Admitting that I’m wrong is still a conscious effort for me."
"For my children, I try to model being magnanimous when getting something wrong; if they correct me and they’re obviously right, whether it be with discipline or information, I try to go out of my way to say I was wrong and thank them for telling me. I think I’m doing better? Hard to tell."
"Talking crap about your ex in front of your kid."
"There was this woman who would rant about her ex-husband in front of her kids all. the. time. and their faces would look so sad and hurt. You may hate that man but your kids have part of his DNA and they take everything you say to heart. It's a poisonous and manipulative thing to do."
"Adding to that, telling your kid about the 2 fraudulent lawsuits you’re creating against their other parent. And telling them how you’re going to hire a private investigator against the other parent. All while ignoring the child when they tell you 'Don’t talk to me about -other parent- you’re making me uncomfortable.'"
"Filming your child trying to mock them only because 'it's funny' when it's clearly uncomfortable for them, and then post the video on the internet."
"I was an assistant manager at Spirit Halloween a couple of years ago and there was a couple there who filmed their clearly terrified young child screaming and crying at the animatronics, and they laughed. It hurt my heart."
"Those videos of kids happily sitting down to blow out birthday candles, and then a pr*ck slams their face in the cake. WTF."
Bye Bye ByeSport Soccer GIF by Real MadridGiphy
"If their kids are older, and want nothing to do with them."
"Mom screams at me to move out and never talk to her again if she is such a bad mother. I move out and never talk to her again. Surprised Pikachu face."
No communication between adult kids and parents, speaks volumes.
Listen AgainNo Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy
"Defending every action/behavior of your kid without hearing the other party's side. It's obviously natural and important to listen to your child, but you should not be disregarding the fact that your kid can make mistakes and is not perfect."
"Or, for that matter, believing every story you hear about your child, no matter how outlandish it may be."
"When you use your kids as emotional support figures or use them to cover your own irresponsibility. You had a 20-year head-start on your kid, yet they're already more responsible and mature."
"I just got the image of my dad in my head while reading this. No wonder why I don't pick up that f**ker's phone call. It's unbelievable how someone over 50 y/o can have the financial responsibility of an 8-year-old in a candy shop."
"Trying to gossip with one of your children about the other one."
"My mother did this with all of her children - me, my sister, and our two older half-brothers from my mom's prior marriages. Before I cut contact with her, she'd call me and would bash my sister for 15-20 minutes."
"Or she'd talk sh*t about one of my older brothers and their wives/children. My sister would mention to me how our mom talked sh*t about me while on a call, etc."
"It's because of that; none of us siblings really communicate with or trust each other. We either fully cut contact with our mom or severely minimized contact."
Are You Serious?
"An idiotic name (circa AITA Krxtxl) or anything similar. Any parent I’ve ever seen who does this crap treats their kid like an accessory. iPad/phone parents. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against screen time but there has to be some boundary) I had a child in my last preschool class who literally ONLY spoke in YouTube quotes or video intro styles."
"I had to have him at age 4 permanently removed from my class for hockey fighting a kid and screaming 'It’s a prank f***er.' So yeah... there’s been a lot of varying degrees of screen obsession but that was one of the worst. That and the kid who hit my co-teacher in the face with a poop-filled hand for putting the iPads away for lunchtime."
No ExcusesNo Way Smh GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy
"Parents not punishing their kids. All kids are different and some things might not work but if your child is actively disrespecting a teacher or physically hurting another person and your first thing is to make an excuse."
Parenting ain't easy.
No one said it was gonna be.
And sounds like some of us may need to rethink doing it.
I love unconventional movies and storytellers.
I live for the times when artists and creatives take big chances.
Sometimes those chances pay off and other times... it's a travesty of life.
Yes, I'm dramatic, and so is movie-making!
The WTF aspect.
That is usually born out of big chances.
Whether that moment leaves people thrilled, shocked, or disgusted... that's in the subjectiveness of it all.
It's always a gamble to create.
Redditor MightGuy420x wanted to share thoughts about some of the movies that left our brains and souls puzzled, so they asked:
"What movie had you saying 'What the f**k' the most while watching?"
Movies leave me aghast more often than not.
And endings are never easy.
"Swiss Army Man."
"Isn't 'What the f**k?' also the last spoken line in the film?"
frygoddaniel radcliffe GIF by A24Giphy
"Yeah lol, literally. It made me laugh so hard because I'd been saying that for the entire two hours I was sitting on my couch watching it. Never saw that coming from Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe is a strange man lol."
A Midnight Opening
"The most audible 'What the f**k?' I have ever heard from an entire movie theater audience was actually from Pixar."
"It was their short film Bao, I think before Incredibles 2. A woman makes a little baby out of dumpling ingredients, there is a cute montage of them together, and then she eats it without warning."
"It was a midnight opening so the audience was all adults, and yeah nobody saw that coming."
Weird but Funny
"Sorry to Bother You."
"I saw this in theaters having absolutely no idea where it was heading (like everyone I think). I must’ve walked out to pee at exactly the wrong time, when I came back I had to double-check it was still the right theater."
"I freaking love this movie and you're exactly right. There was a point I went from like 'This is a weird one, but it's funny' to 'What in the actual f**k is happening?'"
"What's even better is if you go back and watch, they led you right up until that point. They're always hinting at it, but the protagonist makes everything about him and I think that's why it just hits you out of nowhere."
"I feel bad for introducing this movie incorrectly to some friends. I really thought it was going to be some kind of science-fiction drama. And then Adrian Brody mated with it."
"Well, that's easy the thing he was f**king was a human-animal hybrid that he raised from birth like a daughter and was made from his girlfriend's DNA the hybrid later changes from female to male and attacks the before-mentioned girlfriend which I guess is technically its own mother."
"We had to refund AT LEAST 30% of the admissions for this movie every day when I worked in a theater. People were leaving the cinema pissed off because of this movie."
RepresentativeName18jennifer lawrence mother movie GIF by mother!Giphy
That movie makes no sense at all.
Someone explain it to me!
"When Roger Ebert reviewed this movie, he gave it zero stars, saying such a movie could exist only in a universe with no light in it whatsoever, and hence there could be no stars in his review of it."
PhuckingDupedOver It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy
"Abducted in Plain Sight."
"My mom actually went to school with Jan and her mom was friends with my grandma. I’ve tried to get my mom to watch the show but she has refused because 'I have already had more than enough Jan Broberg in my life.'"
"From what my mom said, I’d take everything the family claims happened (especially Jan’s story about what happened while she was kidnapped) with a grain of salt because Jan was apparently super melodramatic even before the abduction."
"That said, I found the show to be less shocking than most people because their naïveté is incredibly unsurprising for a Mormon family in a small town in the 70s."
"Seriously had no idea what I was getting into. A couple and a dude bailed out of the theater when I saw it."
"The Lobster made me realize I had an unconventional taste for films. It’s my favorite film of all time next to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I tried to make my friends watch it, and they all would bail out mid-film."
"This. What utter f**king bats*it crazy horseshit this movie was."
"'Being John Malkovich' is just one weird thing happening after the other, giving you very little time to process it."
"I got to see an advanced screening of Being John Malkovich. I knew absolutely nothing about it going in. It was the first time I was ever left so completely speechless by a movie in such a good way."
"I was already in love with the movie before the portal was even introduced. It could have just been a really weird series of set pieces revolving around those bizarre characters interacting in that weird half-floor and puppetry recitals and I would have been happy. Then it gets all metaphysical and kooky... And it did it all so perfectly."
"Cats. I was just constantly saying 'What the f**k?' under my breath as I watched it in theaters. I honestly don't remember much of it. It was so incoherent in tone and execution, and weird that it just feels like a fever dream in my memory."
daddydonetomuchTaylor Swift Dancing GIF by Cats MovieGiphy
So many movie WTFs for me are about... "How did THIS find funding?!"
Thank God for vodka.