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Guy's Pregnant GF Asks Him To Gain Weight During Her Pregnancy, And The Internet Has Feelings

Guy's Pregnant GF Asks Him To Gain Weight During Her Pregnancy, And The Internet Has Feelings
https://www.pexels.com/photo/pregnancy-pregnant-motherboard-parenthoof-57529/

It's not an unheard of request, but it definitely tugs at some insecurities. Pregnancy is a difficult time and it's very nice to have support and company while you're going through the worst of it.


u/GlutenFreejk laid out the problem:

My girlfriend asked me to gain weight with her while she’s pregnant and I am not sure what to do

Just last week my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant. We are both gym rats and run and lift a lot but her question to me was startling. She asked me that while she's pregnant to get fat with her. I really don't want to lose my body but I am just so unsure about this. Anyone got tips?

Here was some of the advice he got.

One

She's insecure about her weight. Focus on her, compliment her new curves, do something that shows you still care about her regardless of her temporary appearance.

Weight is a dangerous thing to play with.

skrpf

Two

For a lot of couples the dad gains weight with his pregnant woman by accident anyway, but encouraging it is really a bad idea especially looking at the lack of time and stress a baby brings. Losing weight will drop down the priority list and thats even more stupid if the weight was gained on purpose and completely unnecessary.

If a woman is already doing a lot of sports, she can also keep it up til shortly before birth. Ofc, she should check in with her doctor on what is cool and what isn't, but other than that, she's good to go. And if she is on a healthy diet anyway she has the healthy habits needed to not gain much weight during pregnancy.

Norrive

Three

She won't gain fat. She will gain baby (plus placenta and fluid)! I gained a total of 10kg while pregnant. To be fair I delivered early at 35 weeks. By the time I left the hospital I was wearing pre-pregnancy jeans and was only 2.5kg heavier than before I fell pregnant.

My suggestion would to be help her maintain her healthy lifestyle by eating correctly and to continue exercising (obviously some things will have to altered) and she shouldn't gain too much other than baby weight.

Girlddadea

Four

Pregnancy weight gain isn't "getting fat", it's a combination of the baby's own weight (remember it'll be 6-9 lbs at birth), and her body building an entire life support system to supply the growing baby with everything they need. If she doesn't gain that weight, the baby won't be healthy. It's not fat, it's building an entire new human being out of your body.

Has your gf started seeing an OB/GYN yet? Suggest she talk with them about the weight gain, how to do so in a healthy manner, and how to exercise safely during pregnancy. If she's comfortable, go with her to at least one appointment so you can learn about it too.

AceyAceyAcey

Five

Short answer: do not fall for this. Don't gain this 'sympathy' weight. Stick to your health.

Otherwise I imagine 2 scenarios: 1) your gf will resent you for being healthy while she's being unhealthy (She'll hate on you for looking great while she 'has' to look bad) or 2) she'll resent you for the weight gain you both agreed to (sounds irrational but I swear that sounds like a real possibility with someone who's just asked you to give up your health like this), meaning you'll have both given up your health for a bunch of meaningless arguing about how you 'let' her get fat, or helped encourage it. Then you'll resent her. Cue endless cycle.

Long answer: There's a lot of dated and conflicting info out there about women working out while pregnant but one thing is for sure: if you've already been active, there's no reason to give up on being active, save for some necessary modification. And for those who were never active, this is prime time to just start walking every day.

I am nearly 37 weeks pregnant and did not give up on being active; so, I did not 'get fat.' I gained exactly the recommended amount of weight (will be around 24lbs at birth), gained muscle tone, and I religiously meal prep with a macronutrient profile that works for me so that I know I'm getting more calories but not an excessive amount. I track everything in a TDEE spreadsheet. My body looks better now than it ever has and I believe this is due to being the most active I've been in my entire life plus figuring out macros and all that - gaining weight healthfully is JUST as hard as it is to lose weight healthfully.

I committed to all this because pregnancy has gotten such a weird reputation for being this glorious time in a woman's life where she's free to indulge in everything sans consequence and I wanted to prove otherwise. Pregnancy is the one time during which we (women AND their partners) should truly get their health into a good place.

As a result, my only nagging symptom has been fatigue. That's it. I feel pretty normal otherwise. Sure, it sucks to have extra weight on me but I'm not moody, my sleep is great, and I can run stairs with my SO, who's also active. I haven't swelled up anywhere and I don't have any complications. My care provider agrees this is all due to a healthy lifestyle.

I say all this because if your girlfriend is preparing herself for 9 months of JUST fat gain, she's going to be in for a world of hurt - any and all her symptoms will probably be exacerbated, physically AND emotionally. She might end up with some gestational diabetes or other unfortunate complications. It's just not worth it to 'help' her give up on her health right now just to protect her from feeling 'big.'

kickasskittyfit

Six

I would say to sit her down and, very gently, tell her what you want. It's probably not a good idea to bulk/ gain weight, as you like your body. And maybe offer the solution of working out with her at home, if she isn't comfortable in a gym. Make sure to reassure her that she's beautiful and doesn't the age to worry about her body image becoming unattractive because she's pregnant. I feel like it's an insecurity that's giving her anxiety, and she would feel more comfortable if her partner looked 'fatter' like she thinks she will.

o__dear

Seven

You should not gain your weight as it is unnecessary and she should understand this. Since she is pregnant she needs to do what is best for the pregnancy and later she can lose her weight. Talk to her when she is in the good mood and tell her how you feel. Why she wants you to gain weight? You should ask her reasons behind this so you can make her secure and calm about the situation.

8530683641

Eight

Not just your body shape, it's also building poor eating habits and likely losing some exercise habits. As someone who was athletic, only to end up 100 pounds heavier because I stopped having a proper diet and exercise (mostly due to hormones), I can honestly say it is really hard to undo what has been done. Not only initially gaining weight I have found makes it much harder to keep it off, and easier to put that weight back on far faster after losing it.

Your girlfriend is definitely feeling insecure about losing her body as well, and may feel as though she is sacrificing her body and wants you to sacrifice something as well. Perhaps you can do research on healthy diets for pregnancies, as well as safe exercises to do with her throughout all stages of her pregnancy. If you show her a solid plan of what you would like to do to help keep her and the baby healthy going forward, maybe even schedule parenting classes or some kind of activity together, it will help her feel more at ease. I suggest doing these things with her to show that you're actively engaging in the pregnancy, and with her.

magicalpewpewpew

Nine

So according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, healthy weight gain during pregnancy is made up of:

1.5 pounds: the placenta

7 pounds: maternal stores of fat, protein, and other nutrients

7.5 pounds: your average full-term baby

2 pounds: breast tissue

4 pounds: increased fluid volume

4 pounds: increased blood volume

2 pounds: the uterus

2 pounds: amniotic fluid

Total = 30 pounds

I've never been pregnant but all my friends who have gained minimal/healthy amounts of weight during pregnancy complained about being fat. In reality they were all bump and still had slim arms and legs, but I'm sure that's a huge shock to normally look down and see your toes, and then just see belly. Tell her you're not getting fat because she's not getting fat, she's growing a human. It sounds like she needs reassurance that you're still attracted to her while body is going through some major changes.

CeeDeee2

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.