It's not an unheard of request, but it definitely tugs at some insecurities. Pregnancy is a difficult time and it's very nice to have support and company while you're going through the worst of it.
u/GlutenFreejk laid out the problem:
My girlfriend asked me to gain weight with her while she’s pregnant and I am not sure what to do
Just last week my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant. We are both gym rats and run and lift a lot but her question to me was startling. She asked me that while she's pregnant to get fat with her. I really don't want to lose my body but I am just so unsure about this. Anyone got tips?
Here was some of the advice he got.
She's insecure about her weight. Focus on her, compliment her new curves, do something that shows you still care about her regardless of her temporary appearance.
Weight is a dangerous thing to play with.
For a lot of couples the dad gains weight with his pregnant woman by accident anyway, but encouraging it is really a bad idea especially looking at the lack of time and stress a baby brings. Losing weight will drop down the priority list and thats even more stupid if the weight was gained on purpose and completely unnecessary.
If a woman is already doing a lot of sports, she can also keep it up til shortly before birth. Ofc, she should check in with her doctor on what is cool and what isn't, but other than that, she's good to go. And if she is on a healthy diet anyway she has the healthy habits needed to not gain much weight during pregnancy.
She won't gain fat. She will gain baby (plus placenta and fluid)! I gained a total of 10kg while pregnant. To be fair I delivered early at 35 weeks. By the time I left the hospital I was wearing pre-pregnancy jeans and was only 2.5kg heavier than before I fell pregnant.
My suggestion would to be help her maintain her healthy lifestyle by eating correctly and to continue exercising (obviously some things will have to altered) and she shouldn't gain too much other than baby weight.
Pregnancy weight gain isn't "getting fat", it's a combination of the baby's own weight (remember it'll be 6-9 lbs at birth), and her body building an entire life support system to supply the growing baby with everything they need. If she doesn't gain that weight, the baby won't be healthy. It's not fat, it's building an entire new human being out of your body.
Has your gf started seeing an OB/GYN yet? Suggest she talk with them about the weight gain, how to do so in a healthy manner, and how to exercise safely during pregnancy. If she's comfortable, go with her to at least one appointment so you can learn about it too.
Short answer: do not fall for this. Don't gain this 'sympathy' weight. Stick to your health.
Otherwise I imagine 2 scenarios: 1) your gf will resent you for being healthy while she's being unhealthy (She'll hate on you for looking great while she 'has' to look bad) or 2) she'll resent you for the weight gain you both agreed to (sounds irrational but I swear that sounds like a real possibility with someone who's just asked you to give up your health like this), meaning you'll have both given up your health for a bunch of meaningless arguing about how you 'let' her get fat, or helped encourage it. Then you'll resent her. Cue endless cycle.
Long answer: There's a lot of dated and conflicting info out there about women working out while pregnant but one thing is for sure: if you've already been active, there's no reason to give up on being active, save for some necessary modification. And for those who were never active, this is prime time to just start walking every day.
I am nearly 37 weeks pregnant and did not give up on being active; so, I did not 'get fat.' I gained exactly the recommended amount of weight (will be around 24lbs at birth), gained muscle tone, and I religiously meal prep with a macronutrient profile that works for me so that I know I'm getting more calories but not an excessive amount. I track everything in a TDEE spreadsheet. My body looks better now than it ever has and I believe this is due to being the most active I've been in my entire life plus figuring out macros and all that - gaining weight healthfully is JUST as hard as it is to lose weight healthfully.
I committed to all this because pregnancy has gotten such a weird reputation for being this glorious time in a woman's life where she's free to indulge in everything sans consequence and I wanted to prove otherwise. Pregnancy is the one time during which we (women AND their partners) should truly get their health into a good place.
As a result, my only nagging symptom has been fatigue. That's it. I feel pretty normal otherwise. Sure, it sucks to have extra weight on me but I'm not moody, my sleep is great, and I can run stairs with my SO, who's also active. I haven't swelled up anywhere and I don't have any complications. My care provider agrees this is all due to a healthy lifestyle.
I say all this because if your girlfriend is preparing herself for 9 months of JUST fat gain, she's going to be in for a world of hurt - any and all her symptoms will probably be exacerbated, physically AND emotionally. She might end up with some gestational diabetes or other unfortunate complications. It's just not worth it to 'help' her give up on her health right now just to protect her from feeling 'big.'
I would say to sit her down and, very gently, tell her what you want. It's probably not a good idea to bulk/ gain weight, as you like your body. And maybe offer the solution of working out with her at home, if she isn't comfortable in a gym. Make sure to reassure her that she's beautiful and doesn't the age to worry about her body image becoming unattractive because she's pregnant. I feel like it's an insecurity that's giving her anxiety, and she would feel more comfortable if her partner looked 'fatter' like she thinks she will.
You should not gain your weight as it is unnecessary and she should understand this. Since she is pregnant she needs to do what is best for the pregnancy and later she can lose her weight. Talk to her when she is in the good mood and tell her how you feel. Why she wants you to gain weight? You should ask her reasons behind this so you can make her secure and calm about the situation.
Not just your body shape, it's also building poor eating habits and likely losing some exercise habits. As someone who was athletic, only to end up 100 pounds heavier because I stopped having a proper diet and exercise (mostly due to hormones), I can honestly say it is really hard to undo what has been done. Not only initially gaining weight I have found makes it much harder to keep it off, and easier to put that weight back on far faster after losing it.
Your girlfriend is definitely feeling insecure about losing her body as well, and may feel as though she is sacrificing her body and wants you to sacrifice something as well. Perhaps you can do research on healthy diets for pregnancies, as well as safe exercises to do with her throughout all stages of her pregnancy. If you show her a solid plan of what you would like to do to help keep her and the baby healthy going forward, maybe even schedule parenting classes or some kind of activity together, it will help her feel more at ease. I suggest doing these things with her to show that you're actively engaging in the pregnancy, and with her.
So according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, healthy weight gain during pregnancy is made up of:
1.5 pounds: the placenta
7 pounds: maternal stores of fat, protein, and other nutrients
7.5 pounds: your average full-term baby
2 pounds: breast tissue
4 pounds: increased fluid volume
4 pounds: increased blood volume
2 pounds: the uterus
2 pounds: amniotic fluid
Total = 30 pounds
I've never been pregnant but all my friends who have gained minimal/healthy amounts of weight during pregnancy complained about being fat. In reality they were all bump and still had slim arms and legs, but I'm sure that's a huge shock to normally look down and see your toes, and then just see belly. Tell her you're not getting fat because she's not getting fat, she's growing a human. It sounds like she needs reassurance that you're still attracted to her while body is going through some major changes.
Considering how much money these films make, I understand that I am in the minority when I say that Marvel films have absolutely overstayed their welcome. What once seemed fairly innovative—the current generation of the MCU really took off when Iron Man proved to be a tremendous hit—now feels stale.
I accept it, though. These films are not for me and never have been. That's okay. But it'd be great if we could have more room for other great blockbuster films other than yet another superhero movie.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Ziggi28 asked the online community,
"What franchise has been milked to death?"
"MTVs Teen Mom. Although they still act like teenagers, the moms are in their 30s."
Part of me thinks the only reason it's still on is because MTV knows several of the cast members have no other way to make money and they're waiting to see if any of the kids become teen parents.
All of Them
"A better question would be what franchise HASN'T been milked to death. Something like 9 out of 10 "blockbusters" these days are remakes/sequels/rehashes etc."
If we have to have nonstop remakes, I wish they’d at least make good remakes of bad movies/shows that had potential but were poorly executed for whatever reason, instead of mediocre at best remakes of classics.
It's a "No" for Netflix
"Certainly nothing netflix has created. Get hooked on a show with solid potential and bam....its canceled."
Netflix’s Dark Crystal amazingly resurrected a Jim Henson masterpiece, set up an entire world to explore, and cancelled it after one season.
"Is the next Halloween really going to be the last one or no?"
Don't forget, guys: Evil dies tonight!
We'll repeat it 10,000 times just so you know for sure.
Friday the 13th
"When Jason started killing in Manhattan, possessing people’s bodies, and killing on a futuristic spaceship in outer space, I felt the Friday the 13th series was getting a bit ridiculous. Although Jason X wasn’t that bad."
Honestly, the franchise died with Jason X. The remake of the first—which actually combined the plots of the first four films—was actually pretty good but didn't go anywhere after that.
"Ben 10. I enjoyed the first 3 shows, 4th one is mixed for me, but that 5th show which is that reboot that came after was unnecessary and just shows that Cartoon Network is reliant on making money from toy sales rather than telling a good story from that reboot."
There were more than two? This is news to me.
The Walking Dead
"The Walking Dead. I stopped watching when I found myself actively hoping the protagonists would be killed in gruesome ways."
I stopped after Beth died, didn't watch it for a long time, went back to it—though I started from the beginning—and gave up right when Glen was killed. It was exhausting and a meandering mess all in all.
"I just got an ad for the Jurassic World: Dominion extended edition. Pretty sure nobody has been asking for more runtime of that movie."
That movie had no reason to be as long as it is and Laura Dern and Sam Neil are really slumming it.
90 Day Fiancé
"90 Day Fiancé."
"There must be like 20 spinoffs from that show, including Pillow Talk (which has former cast members commenting on episodes) and then a Pillow Talk for the Pillow Talk episodes. Not to mention the individual spin offs like The Family Chantel and Darcey & Stacey."
I can't believe this is still on. I must be dreaming.
"Grey's Anatomy. It’s so repetitive and just ridiculous now. I gave up in season 10, then tried again and caught up a few seasons but it’s just kind of relentless, ruins good characters and rapidly churns out new, forgettable ones."
This should is the definition of a soap opera. And to think it was once a big Emmy contender for a few years!
Admit it: You're so over these too, aren't you? We might as well be living in a time loop because some of these franchises keep coming back over... and over... and over...
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
We've all displayed embarrassing behavior or actions at one point or another, and we can't seem to shake off the regretful moment.
It just replays in our minds like an endless boomerang.
We are equally embarrassed for those who may have done something spontaneously foolish and have no clue of the mortifying impact of their actions.
It's called cringe, and strangers online had plenty to say about the all-too-familiar phenomenon when Redditor brownGoddess01 asked:
"What is something you find REALLY cringe?"
There is a time and place for things. That doesn't mean the unspoken rule is broken.
"A disastrous engagement during someone else's wedding."
"This happened at my cousins wedding. My other cousin was proposed to by her bf during the reception. The cousin getting married eventually got a divorce and the cousin who was proposed to never got married. My grandma went to her grave calling the guy who did the proposal 'El Diablo.'”
Inappropriate Declaration Of Love
"I used to work wedding receptions. One time during the speeches I witnessed the best friend of the bride profess his love to her, in front of the groom and everybody. It was one of the most awkward/cringiest moments I’ve ever witnessed."
There are some things we do that we can't take back.
How Far We've Come
"my past self."
"That means you’ve grown. Respect."
The Moment We'd Like To Forget
"My mind randomly replaying an embarrassing moment I've done that I want to forget."
"Listening my recorded voice."
Some people love living their lives on camera. Some participants don't have a say in the matter. And others just don't wanna see it.
All The World Is A Stage
"Family bloggers. Constantly having your life recorded as a child can really f'k you up. Especially since a lot of the time the parents are just using their children for content."
"I will extend this to normal people who post every second of their child’s lives, they often hide under ‘it’s so my family can see it’ but it’s not really, is it? Or else you’d have an account just for family not your 900 additional ‘friends’"
Crying You A River
"Recording yourself crying on social media."
"when individuals share sobbing selfies. No joke, when my friend's sister and her children put their dog to die, she tweeted selfies of them both crying. and the deceased dog."
"Like, is it a private moment of mourning and not a chance for a selfie?"
"All these 'prank' videos getting millions of views."
"Edit: To be specific, I’m referring to 'prank' videos that are clearly staged."
Unsolicited Life Coach
"People whose lives are an absolute self-induced disaster and post selfies with motivational quotes telling other people how to think and live."
Being in the entertainment industry and knowing how humbling it is when there are more rejections than there are bookings, we tend to be our own worst critics.
So there's nothing more cringey than revisiting an old recording of myself performing at a high school talent show when my interest in theater was fresh and exciting and I already thought I was a pro.
Unfortunately for teenage me, I was blissfully unaware I had ways to go before honing my craft.
Let's just say that all those old VHS recordings of me performing an imitation of Michael Crawford as the Phantom of the Opera need to be burned.
Sex. It's great, but there can be a lot of drama involved.
We're human, how could there not be?
One way to make it easy is to say the right name when you're in the heat of things.
Seriously, we know this sounds like a small thing, but it's monumentally important.
Make sure you know your date's name.
If you don't, take your date to Starbucks and have it written on their cup.
It might be REALLY important later in the evening.
Redditor throwaway2356765 wanted to know your best excuses in the worst moments of intimacy.
"How do you apologize to your girlfriend after accidentally calling her by your ex’s name during sex?"
Sex makes our minds crazy. I say all sorts of nonsense.
ExtremesRun Away Nuclear Bomb GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Burn the house down. Fake your death. Move to Peru. There's no recovery."
"You're gonna have to run out the clock on that one. Just say you're sorry and take the consequences."
"Yup. Persistence is key. Apologize a thousand times until she forgives you. Cook her favorite meals a thousand times until she forgives you. Massage her back a thousand times until she forgives you."
"'I'm so sorry [Ex's Name].' Trust me it'll work."
"Unironically maybe if you can convince her you have early onset dementia."
"Call out a guy's name next time and really throw her for a loop."
"Call out your own name."
"Or her father's name."DZLars
And Piggy?Press Conference Kermit GIFGiphy
"Call out Kermit’s name next time."
Sex makes us all crazy.
SorrySad Cry GIF by TheFactory.videoGiphy
"Oh man, trust me as someone who calls everyone by another person's name... there is no amount of apologies to make up for that in this case. Just hope she cares enough to forgive - she won't forget though and may bring it up many times."
"Not sure, but if it helps to know, I accidentally called my wife our dog’s name during an argument."
"Update: It totally killed the tension, and we laughed about it. I am safe."
"I just had a baby and now no one’s name is sacred in my house. Every cat’s, dog’s, or human’s name is Interchangeable with the others."
"Tell her you called her name while having sex with your ex and you're just trying to even everything out."
"Perfectly balanced, as all things should be."
"Just say you're sorry and you didn't mean it, but don't expect that she will get over it easily."'
"This seems like the most sensible answer. My answer was basically grovelling, grovel and grovel some more and hope she can forgive you but don't expect that to happen right away but definitely expect to hear it in every argument for a few years to come as well."
#1 AnswerLouis Litt Genius GIF by SuitsGiphy
"The only way to salvage this is at the time by adding ' ...was never this good!'"
Be better y'all. It's an intimate moment and your partner deserves the basest level of respect that come with knowing their name.
Do you have other ideas to share in the unfortunate event of this happening? Let us know in the comments below.
High school... how the trauma follows everyone.
Who has a perfect high school experience?
I wish I could do it all again.
I would've listened more.
Redditor Resplendenced wanted to talk about the good ole days, and how we could've utilized them more.
"What is your biggest high school regret?"
I don't hate high school. But I don't love it. Long story.
Who Cares?Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy
"Giving a crap what those people thought of me."
"This is why I was never interested in traveling back to go to a high school reunion. So pointless."
"Not being more confident. My inner voice talked me out of a lot of things that would have made my teenage years more rewarding and productive."
"This times 1000. Shoot your shot, and act like nothing happened when it fails. Confidence is 100% people pretending to know what the hell they are doing regardless of whether they actually know or not. Nothing that happened in high school is going to matter when you are 40. Just keep that in mind."
"Should’ve talked to more people."
"You kind of go through assuming other people don’t want to talk to you. Little do you know they think the same thing. I wish I was just nicer and more open to everyone."
"Do you think the majority of the people genuinely wanted to talk to others? And if so, do you also think this still applies years after high school, or does it dwindle? Just wondering cause in my adult years it's hard finding friends."
"Not understanding that it was just temporary; the toxic behaviour of other students, the bullying, the fake friends and stresses imagined. In the end, it was four years of my life and I let it impact me more than I ever should have."
"I came to say this!!! I’m a teacher and I tell my students all the time that this is temporary. They have to do 4 years then they’re free to do whatever makes them happy. They can go out in the world and get a job, go to college, trade school, etc."
"But there will always be a**holes who try to get you down no matter where you go, so you need to start practicing at a young age how much you allow them to effect you. I went to school with the same people K-12 in my small town and I still talk to 1. I left and didn’t look back, so I tell my kids they can do the same. Even when I visit my parents I don’t go out and see any of those people."
WERKSnap Werk GIF by Jackée HarryGiphy
"Not realizing what a hottie I was. My self esteem was awful back then."
We're all hot in high school. We just don't know it.
Not BadThe Rock Omg GIF by NBCGiphy
"Not finishing school and dropping out. Although, I had no direction or any parental care at the time and was depressed. I did get my GED and i’m in my final year of getting a bachelors in computer science. Not bad for a high school drop out."
"Falling in with an unhealthy friend group. They were controlling and possessive, and I ended up isolating myself from other, possibly healthier, friendships. I was always warned about abusive romantic relationships. I didn't realize friendships could be abusive as well."
"Not dating and socializing. I never wanted anything to do with anyone, as much as people tried. I missed out on basic experiences which didn’t bother me back then but now I’m like i wish i did more high school kid things lmao."
"I was coming here to say that I should have completely skipped dating, so nearly the opposite of you. Dating in high school was horrible, emotionally destructive stuff."
"I wish I joined the school paper or something like that."
"I was the photo editor on my HS paper because I had a nice camera. It was like a key to the school. I could walk the halls and if questioned I was on paper business. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. Took pictures of all the pretty girls and took some to the darkroom to learn to develop so to speak. Cause I bought a fancy camera I had an amazing high school life."
With Caregrades a very poor effort GIF by 3 Doors DownGiphy
"Not caring about college/my grades."
"I had the opposite problem, caring too much about my grades leading to massive sleep deprivation."
Oh High School... what a time.
Do you have high school regrets? Let us know in the comments below.