Formidable People Reveal The Most Pain They've Ever Experienced
[rebelmouse-image 18349841 is_animated_gif=What's the worst pain you've ever experienced? For me, it was my ongoing battle with ulcerative colitis, and the relentless, unending feeling that my guts were going to shoot out of me. For others, broken bones or cluster headaches left them reeling in agony. Fair warning, these stories are brutal.
dazzler964 asked, What's the most pain you've ever been in?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Sounds like the pain I experienced when I sneezed after having my colon removed.
[rebelmouse-image 18349842 is_animated_gif=A sneeze.
I've been shot (once), stabbed (twice), had gallstones, kidney stones, and pancreatitis, but that sneeze was the worst.
I had open heart surgery (congenitally bad heart valve). They gave me a little pillow and told me to hug it tight if I felt a sneeze coming on. I thought they were crazy but kept it close. Next day, sneezed without warning.
I ceased to exist as a person. The universe and all in it ceased to exist. Reality was a single point of formless, featureless pain, exquisite in its purity, unparalleled in its intensity.
This is the pain of nightmares.
[rebelmouse-image 18349619 is_animated_gif=Had a blood clot burst in my spinal cord, affected all of my nerves and I was pretty much stuck and frozen laying down. Couldn't move, could barely breathe, my neck was crooked and my whole body felt like it was burning.
Eventually, the ambulance arrived, I was able to breathe again once I got the breathing mask. It left me paralyzed at first but after years of therapy, I've been recovering. I'm nowhere near the condition I was before the incident though, probably never will be.
I have a hernia in my neck that paralyzes me when it flares. Working out the muscles around it helps. The pain is off the scale.
[rebelmouse-image 18349843 is_animated_gif=Woke up one morning with back pain that I've never experienced before in my life. I couldn't even lift myself out of bed.
After 10 minutes of struggling to find a position so I could lift myself, I stood up and my hip was dropped and my spine was crooked. I can't even explain the pain, I've broken bones, painful recoveries from surgeries, this was the worst pain I have ever had. It was relentless shooting hot pain while my hamstring also felt like it was being pulled from my hip and femur. I couldn't even walk. People always talk about severe back pain and I always thought it was just relative to their pain tolerance.
I'm a healthy 21-year-old that is in shape, this pain would shoot down my legs and took my breath away, I'd literally DROP to the floor because my legs gave out from it. I went to the urgent care twice and they said it was probably sciatica and gave me steroids and stretches which didn't work. Got X-rays that said maybe it was arthritis between my L 1 and L2. This has been going on for around 4 months, the pain has thankfully decreased but it's still always there. I started working out again despite the pain because either way, I'm in pain so I might as well get a workout in.
I'm scheduled to get an MRI soon, so hopefully, that can answer some questions. I still don't know how or why this happened, but I have a lot more understanding of people suffering from chronic pain, it's absolutely exhausting and takes a toll on the mind and body.
Kidney stones sound like torture. *Chugs water*
[rebelmouse-image 18349844 is_animated_gif=I once had Kidney stones due to not drinking enough water. It was not a big one, but multiple very tiny one. It was the first time where I, a grown **s man, had to yell from the pain in the waiting room. I even had to throw up just because of the pain. So dear Redditors, please drink enough water during the day.
Like kidney stones, gallstones get a big old nope.
[rebelmouse-image 18349846 is_animated_gif=Gall stones brought me by far the most pain that I've ever experienced. Basically incapacitated me until the pain subsided.
Pleurisy is when the membrane lining your lungs becomes inflamed. Ouch.
[rebelmouse-image 18349847 is_animated_gif=Pleurisy is a hell of an illness. The way my doctor put it for me was "there is a liquid between your lungs and your ribs. That liquid has now evaporated, and your lungs are rubbing on your ribs like sandpaper."
I know that's not scientific, but let me tell you, it's definitely an accurate description of what it felt like.
Strep throat has nothing on this...
[rebelmouse-image 18349848 is_animated_gif=Throat ulcer which made me cough and every time I coughed it felt like dragging razor blades down my throat which made me cough even more.
I have ulcerative colitis, which is Crohn's ugly cousin, and I can confirm - the pain has made me beg for death.
[rebelmouse-image 18349849 is_animated_gif=I have Crohn's disease and psoriasis only in my ears, both ears, even in the canal. Both diseases aren't under control. Also used to have horrible Kidney infections. Good news is, if the pain is severe enough, my body shuts it all down and I pass out. The bad news is, sometimes I wake back up seconds later only to pass out again. There have been many more times I can count that I have begged for death because the pain is so bad.
Magic mushrooms are being researched as a cure for cluster headaches. They have no agreed upon cause or treatment.
[rebelmouse-image 18349850 is_animated_gif=Cluster headache on a plane while it was descending into Amsterdam. The longest 10 min of my life.
Needless to say, I had tears streaming down my face and mouth full of fabric to muffle my screams.
Pancreatitis sounds absolutely dreadful, and ER's sometimes don't take pain seriously enough.
[rebelmouse-image 18349851 is_animated_gif=Pancreatitis.... all I could do in the hospital waiting room was yell, "help me". They finally took me seriously when I kept going in and out of consciousness.
Well, at least they have a story to tell...
[rebelmouse-image 18349852 is_animated_gif=I went home with a guy one night, and he got a cluster headache for the first time in the middle of it. I thought he was having an aneurysm. Called an ambulance because I was sure he was going to die. We're both dudes, and he just started yelling and his roommates ran into the room - and that's how they found out he was gay.
I don't have a caption worthy of this pain. Or the mental image. You can't unsee it.
[rebelmouse-image 18349853 is_animated_gif=Broke my leg playing soccer. Friends all laughed at me for a minute thinking I was faking until they saw the blood and bone sticking out. My friends loaded me up into the backseat of my car. I was 6'4" so I could barely fit sprawled out back there. One of my moron friends thought my leg was all the way in and slammed the door close. My leg wasn't all the way in.
These pain stories are getting dark... cement in your eye thought? Ouch.
[rebelmouse-image 18349854 is_animated_gif=Physically: I got wet cement in my eye.
Emotionally: I held my dog as he seized to death. Similar to I AM Legend.
This is similar to what burn victims have to endure, and just, nope.
[rebelmouse-image 18349855 is_animated_gif=Debriding an infection. Nothing like slicing open a tender area and the scrubbing the crap out of it.
And this is why I still have my wisdom teeth.
[rebelmouse-image 18349856 is_animated_gif=When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I got dry sockets which turned into lockjaw.
I could open my mouth less and less, then not at all. Then the lower part of my jaw started being pulled outward. It felt like somebody was tearing my jaw off.
My mom doped me up with painkillers, but it didn't help. We made an appointment with the doctor the next morning, but it was the worst night of my life. Constant pain and couldn't fall asleep.
The next morning, on the drive to the doctor, I threw up because of the pain but couldn't open my mouth. So I chocked on my vomit and either had to swallow it or blow it out my nose.
I've never experienced physical pain worse than that.
My brother had to have this corrected (before it got this bad) - it was excruciating watching him dealing with it.
[rebelmouse-image 18349857 is_animated_gif=Testicular torsion. Got my balls in a twist. Swelled to the size of my fist. Had an operation to untwist them. Swelled to the size of my head. Walked like Butch Cassidy for 3 weeks.
*Squirms uncomfortably in my chair*
[rebelmouse-image 18349859 is_animated_gif=Having a badly ingrown toenail get stomped on, break in half lengthwise, get severely infected, and then removed without much in the way of numbing (doctor missed the nerve). There's a reason pulling toenails off is used as a form of torture. 0/10, would not recommend.
There's some irony here, considering he needed the morphine - let's hope the addiction gets treated.
[rebelmouse-image 18349860 is_animated_gif=Got my leg rebroken. I was in so much pain. They asked me and my mom if I wanted morphine. My mom said no. I was 13 and had no say in the matter. Fun fact, 3 years later I got addicted to heroin.
Gotta admire this person's optimism... being 1/4 is pretty cool tbh.
[rebelmouse-image 18349861 is_animated_gif=I got hit in the eyeball with a badminton birdie. Freak accident. I turned around to give my partner s*** about taking so long to serve. My eyeball bled, behind my eyeball bled and I was rushed to ER with the risk of losing my eye. Has to get freezing needles into my eye and wasn't allowed to bend over for fear of the clot bursting. It was a pain like no other. Just this horrible throbbing, pounding pain that resonated around my whole head. I was dizzy, couldn't see, shaking and any light at all caused significant pain. Having a needle come right up to your eye isn't the most pleasant thing either.
I have no peripheral vision in my right eye now. I'm like 1/4 pirate. It's cool.
I've had the same thing (yeah, I'm a mess), and the pain is indescribable. My worst was having three abscesses under my armpit merge into one giant abscess overnight.
[rebelmouse-image 18349862 is_animated_gif=I had an abscess the size of a golf ball in my armpit lanced (I have hidradenitis suppuritiva), and even with the acid-feeling numbing agent he injected, the process was incredibly painful. The gauze wick that was stuck in there afterward was uncomfortable and felt so gross.
Our ancient ancestors had their own habits; some were strange and bewildering, others were nearly identical to those we practice today. Looking back through history, one might be surprised to find the daily lives of the ancients weren't so unrecognizable. But then again, there are still plenty of ancient habits that leave us scratching our heads.
1. Ground-Breaking Discovery
Recently, archaeologists working in Italy’s Caverna delle Arene Candide found a heap of rocks. Not exactly headline news, but these rocks had been carried up from a nearby beach and broken in a consistent, uniform fashion, and similar-sized pieces had been taken from each one. It appears that Neolithic Italians broke the rocks as a funerary rite—the rocks themselves may have represented lost loved ones, and breaking them symbolized the person dying.
2. Shake On It
person holding hands of another personPhoto by Sincerely Media on UnsplashThe tradition of greeting another person by shaking hands dates at least as far back as the Ancient Greeks. One column at the Acropolis even shows the Greek goddess of marriage, Hera, shaking hands with the Greek goddess of wisdom, Athena.
3. A Little Pick-Me-Up
Nowadays we have Viagra and Cialis, but Pliny the Elder suggested a bevy of ancient Roman aphrodisiacs that reads more like a witch’s shopping list than a doctor’s prescription. To put the pep back in your step, Pliny suggested the yolks of pigeon eggs, in honey, mixed with hog’s lard, or sparrows eggs, or a lizard drowned in one’s own urine. If that didn't work, you could always wear “the right testicle of a cock.” I’ll pause long enough for you to stop giggling.
4. For The Ladies
brown falcon on treePhoto by Photos By Beks on UnsplashGot it out of your system? Ok, moving on: For ladies with low libido, Pliny advised ingesting a vulture’s tongue, or wearing a patch of wool soaked in bat’s blood on top of the head. It seems so obvious, doesn't it?
5. Just ’Browsing
Nothing made a Greek woman feel more attractive than having a thick, swarthy unibrow. To the Greeks, the unibrow signaled a combination of beauty and brains. Greek women would go to great lengths to get that perfect forehead mustache, lining their brows with kohl or soot, or even using tree resin to affix fake eyebrows made of goats’ hair to their foreheads.
6. Of Corset Was!
white and brown striped textilePhoto by Jamie Coupaud on UnsplashYou probably associate the fitted corset with those breathless Victorian women who, though they maintained their figure, looked constantly on the verge of fainting, but they weren't the first to wear them. The corset goes all the way back to the Ancient Minoan women of Crete, who wore similar restrictive bodices. The Minoan corsets were likely the first fitted garments ever worn.
7. To Be Taken With A Grain Of Salt
Popular superstition states that, if one should spill some salt, one can counteract the bad luck by throwing a pinch of salt over the shoulder. That practice actually goes all the way back to the ancient Assyrians. The superstition was passed on from them to the Egyptians, and then the Greeks, and the Romans, all the way to today.
8. Stairway To Heaven
an egyptian scene with a man offering a bowl to a womanPhoto by British Library on UnsplashThe same is true of walking under ladders—the Egyptians came up with that one. Because a ladder leaning against a wall formed a triangle, representative of the holy trinity of Egyptian gods, to walk through was considered sacrilegious. Naturally, that superstation lent itself perfectly to the early Christians. I always just thought it was because you're likely to get something dropped on you if you walk under a ladder.
9. As It Nappens
Just like the Spaniards with their customary siesta, the Ancient Greeks would insist on taking a quick mid-day nap throughout the summer. One 5th-century medical text advised that a brief nap around noon kept the body from “drying out.”
10. That Sucks!
In ancient Ireland, one showed submission to tribal kings by sucking their nipples. Bog-bodies (ancient remain found well-preserved by the chemicals in a bogs) have been found with slashed nipples, indicating that they had been driven from the throne.
11. Pour One Out
Even if you're completely out of touch, you’ve probably seen a rapper “pouring one out” in a music video. Feel free to pour one out in memory of Pac or Biggie, but you should know the practice actually began with the Ancient Egyptians, who first spilled their drinks as a tribute to their god of death, Osiris.
12. The Good Book
person's hand holding book pagePhoto by Rod Long on UnsplashThe practice of libations was continued by the Greeks. There is even mention of “pouring one out” in the Old Testament: Genesis 35:14 states “Jacob set up a pillar in the place where he had spoken with him [God], even a pillar of stone. He poured out a drink offering on it and poured oil on it.”
13. Beer For Breakfast
While the pharaohs had no shortage of delicacies to choose from—fruit and honey and wine and cured fish and all manner of roasted beasts—the Egyptian working class had a significantly shorter menu. The typical Egyptian breakfast consisted of bread, beer, and onions.
14. Sand Gets Everywhere
a group of people riding horses in a desertPhoto by Veronika Biró on UnsplashAnd sand. Lots of sand. Keeping sand out of their food was a huge problem for Egyptians, and coupled with their rough, fibrous diet and the fact that they had no real culture of dental hygiene, it meant that Egyptians of modest means usually suffered severe dental issues.
15. Chickening Out
Roman navies always kept chickens on board their ships, but they never intended to eat the birds. Rather, the chickens were offered cake. If the chickens pecked the cake, the Romans were sure to have luck in their upcoming battle. One Roman admiral, furious that his chicken wouldn’t peck, shunned superstition by throwing his chicken overboard and declared, “If it won’t eat, it can drink instead!”
27. The Stash
green palm tree during sunsetPhoto by Kym MacKinnon on UnsplashAccording to Herodotus, certain tribes to the east liked to throw bushels of marijuana on bonfires and enjoy a nice stone. As with a lot of stuff that Herodotus said, historians took this with a grain of salt, but in 2008 archaeologists discovered the tomb of a 2,700-year-old mummy in the Western Chinese province of Xinjiang.
In addition to the mummy—presumably, a shaman of the Yuehzi people—was nearly 800 grams of marijuana, worth about $8,000 to modern consumers. Also found in the tomb, a stack of Bob Marley records and a poster bearing the phrase “Legalize It.”
17. A Different Period
To cope with severe menstrual symptoms, Roman women used tampons soaked in opium, while Egyptian men were allowed—and even encouraged—to take time off work to care for their menstruating wives or daughters.
18. Don’t Sweat It
gray concrete building during daytimePhoto by Federico Di Dio photography on UnsplashAfter a big day at the Colosseum, Roman fight-goers liked to celebrate the trip by buying souvenirs. Gladiator sweat was a favorite, as was lard from the animals who had been killed during the show. The sweat was mixed with olive oil and sold as a perfume. It was also considered a powerful aphrodisiac. I'll pass, thanks.
19. Decisions, Decisions
According to Herodotus, the rule of thumb among the Ancient Persians was if something was decided upon while drunk, all people involved must wait until they’ve sobered up, and decide again. Later writers added that, if something were decided while sober, the Persians would again put the decision under scrutiny by getting drunk and seeing if the idea held up. At least they covered all their bases!
20. Puking Party
girl in grey tank top holding purple flowerPhoto by Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев on UnsplashAs everyone knows, the Romans loved to party, but of course one can only party so much. The idea of any Roman feast was to eat and drink as much as physically possible. When a Roman began to feel too full, or too drunk, it was socially acceptable, and even encouraged, to induce vomiting, thereby making room for more.
It should be said, however, that it's a misconception that they had special rooms called "vomitoria" for this purpose. Vomitoria did exist, but they were special passages in theaters or auditoria designed to efficiently allow many people to exit at once. The name comes from the Latin word vomo, which means "to spew forth."
21. No Pants Allowed
The Greeks and Romans had pants, they just didn’t wear them. The Greeks thought they looked silly, and the Romans considered them “for the barbarians,” since they were customarily worn by Germanic peoples to the north.
22. Spitting Image
man spitting waterPhoto by Asael Peña on UnsplashIt wouldn’t be unusual to see a Roman spit on himself; it was something they did any time they encountered a mentally ill person or someone with epilepsy. Not only were these traits undesirable, they were considered contagious as well. By spitting on himself, a Roman was protecting himself from the spread of a disease—an action that had no basis, even in Roman medicine, but remained a widely held superstition.
23. The Cure-All
For everything that spitting couldn’t cure, the Romans swore by "theriac." The compound, invented by Nero’s personal physician, was made of 64 different ingredients, including opium and viper flesh, and was said to cure everything from poisoning to plague. Theriac remained a common item in apothecaries and pharmaceutical shops well into the 19th century, because if nothing works anyway, you might as well eat some snake parts.
24. Ancient Times
grayscale photo of round analog clockPhoto by Timo C. Dinger on UnsplashPunctual Romans carried around portable sundials, not unlike our more modern pocket watches. Each sundial came with specific instructions on how to use it based on one’s geographical coordinates and the season. But the Romans didn’t rely on a regular 60 minute hour like we do: rather, they followed the Egyptian example of keeping a 45 minute hour through the summer and a 75 minute hour in the winter. How could that not have confused people?
25. Fast Food
The Romans were a busy, on-the-go people, so it’s not surprising that, just like us moderns, they loved fast food. There were restaurants all over the Rome, many of them with windows that opened onto the street so customers could just order their food and go. I wonder if they had drive-thru windows for chariots?
17. Pompeiians Can’t Cook
brown and white concrete buildingPhoto by Yaopey Yong on UnsplashThere were more than 200 take-out restaurants in Pompeii alone. Taking dinner out was so common that many Pompeiian homes didn’t even have kitchens.
16. Vend Diagram
The Romans even had vending machines. Or at least they had the technology—the only known example, built by Roman-Egyptian inventor Hero of Alexander, was coin-operated and dispensed holy water.
28. Cone Heads
brown concrete statue of manPhoto by Tom Podmore on UnsplashLong before the spray bottle was invented, the Egyptians developed a unique way to apply perfume. They wore tall cones of resin or ox fat on the top of their heads. The cones would be infused with aromatic oils and myrrh. As the balmy night wore on, the cones melted, leaving the Egyptians coated in fragrant oil. It was considered good hospitality to offer these cones to guests at a party.
29. The Best Part Of Waking Up…
Coffee came from Africa, tea from the far east. Neither seemed to have caught on among the Romans. Given the dearth of caffeinated beverages, the Romans began their mornings with a beverage made of goat feces and vinegar. I'll stick to my bean juice, thanks.
30. Just Do It
File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAccording to Pliny the Elder (this guy again...), the goat dung and vinegar beverage was especially popular among chariot racers; it was kind of like an ancient version of Gatorade. The emperor Nero personally endorsed the drink, saying that it gave him extra strength.
31. Urine Luck
The Romans used human urine in industries like leather tanning, and some of these companies even paid a “urine tax” for the privilege. But that’s not all: Urine was used by the Romans as a laundry detergent, a fertilizer, and even as a mouthwash. Because, you know, nothing makes your mouth cleaner than...
32. A Brush With The Egyptians
blue and white plastic bottlePhoto by 莎莉 彭 on UnsplashIn this instance, at least, the Egyptians were centuries ahead of the Romans, and even ahead of pre-20th century Westerners. The Egyptians invented the toothbrush, and used it in conjunction with a toothpaste made of gum arabica, soot, and water that actually would have done an OK job.
33. Mint Condition
In fact, one 4th century Egyptian text offers a complete—though different—recipe for toothpaste: one drachma of rock salt, one drachma of iris flowers, 20 grains of pepper, and, of course, two drachmas of mint for kissably fresh breath. Hey, if it's not human urine, I'll take it!
34. Getting Around To It
man and woman statue under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Sergio García on UnsplashLet’s talk about bad habits for a minute. Here in the modern world, many of us have trouble getting motivated—we tend to put off starting things, even if they’re important or good for us. But don't feel so bad, even our ancient ancestors struggled with procrastination.
Putting off crucial business was so common in Ancient Greece that the Greeks had a word for it: akrasia, “the state of acting against one’s own interest.”
35. So Stupid, It’s Smart
One Greek statesman discovered a trick to help him defeat akrasia: Demosthenes shaved one side of his head (seriously). Funny, but how does it help? Demosthenes reasoned—rightly, perhaps—that he would be less tempted to go outside if he knew people would make fun of his stupid haircut. Rather than risk the mockery and taunts of his fellow Athenians, he stayed home and studied. Something to remember next time you’ve got a big exam coming up.
36. Moldy Medicine
sliced bread on tablePhoto by Helena Yankovska on UnsplashThe Ancient Egyptians applied moldy bread crusts to burns. This practice has also been found in ancient Greek, Chinese, and Serbian cultures. While none of these ancient cultures had any way to know specifically, they did seem to intuit that the microbes and antibodies active in the mold were good for fighting off infections.
37. An Eyebrow Raising Habit
Eyebrows were important to the Ancient Egyptians, as well. The death of a household cat was a serious tragedy—the Egyptians literally worshipped the furry felines—and families would often demonstrate their grief by shaving their eyebrows off.
38. The Cat’s Pyjamas
Free Images : animal, monument, statue, cat, egypt, sculpture ...pxhere.comCats were idolized by the Egyptians because of their skill at killing vermin like rats and snakes, and because they also represented fertility. When a cat died, even the cat of a laborer, it was given a noble burial, mummified, and laid to rest surrounded by pots of milk and mummified mice. We should all be so lucky.
39. Pretty Disrespectful
The practice of mummifying cats was so common that, over the course of the 19th century, British industrialists were able to import nineteen tons of mummified kitties for use as fertilizer.
40. Not Monkeying Around
black monkey sitting on rock during daytimePhoto by Benjamin Ong on UnsplashCats weren’t the only pets loved by the Egyptians; they were also known to keep monkeys. Big monkeys. Really big monkeys, like baboons, in fact. Baboons don’t live in Egypt—they had to be imported to Egypt specifically—but their popularity led them to develop a wealth of cultural and religious significance to the Egyptian people, and one was considered lucky indeed to have one of the simians in their home.
41. The Hogs Of War
The Greeks and Romans employed an unlikely ally when they went to war: Because their rivals in the east typically employed elephants, the Greeks and Romans enlisted the help of war pigs, whose squeals terrified the giant beasts.
42. The Romans Treated Their Kids Like Garbage
a statue of a person holding a staffPhoto by Clemens van Lay on UnsplashRoman families did have adoption practices—even Julius Caesar adopted his great-nephew Octavian, later known as Augustus—but it was mostly a way for the wealthy Roman elite to ensure they had an heir. For poorer families, unwanted children were often just left at the dump.
If those unwanted babies didn’t die, they were usually taken to be raised as slaves.
Where do babies come from?
One of life's greatest mysteries.
Or one of life's most solid truths.
But when we're young, we don't know all of the details.
But that doesn't mean there aren't questions.
Oh, the number of questions and curiosities.
Redditor DramaticChoice4 wanted to discuss the stork's journey, so they asked:
"How did you use to think babies were made?"
So Random
Im Pregnant Mama Said GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I thought it was like an illness, you just randomly come down with pregnancy once you're married."
cb1216
The Egg
"My friends and I had a pretty solid worldview on this A man down the street from us was rumored to have 1 testicle. This man also had 1 kid So, we deduced that when you want to have kids, the man fires a testicle into the woman, and that testicle acted as 'the egg.'"
"We realized that this would be painful for the man, but that it would also make it 'fair' since we figured that giving birth must be painful as well We couldn't figure out why some families had more than 2 kids, but that was a problem for another day."
sneekeemonkee
Home Invasion
"I thought they would just appear. Like they spawned somewhere in the house."
"No, they had to love each other very much and concentrate on that for it to happen. At least that’s the explanation I had given myself as a small child."
"Then I learned that women get pregnant, but in the dialect of the region around Venezia (Italy) where I grew up, it is common to say 'I’m buying a baby' when you’re pregnant. So I thought there was an actual place you went to purchase pregnancy... lol."
millennium-popsicle
Hold Me
"Through cuddling. My parents had me watch a movie about the facts of life. It showed a man and a woman cuddling on the couch in one scene, and then in the next, the narrator was talking about how an egg is fertilized. So, the implication was that this happened via cuddling."
Old_Army90
Born That Way
Music Video Mv GIF by Lady GagaGiphy"I don't know. I used to think that my parents were born as parents and I was born as a child, so for 2-3 years I thought that I wasn’t going to age and so my parents."
ChemicalAd1157
Kids. We were so innocent at one time.
Born that way. Cute thought.
Delivery
"Babies are made at a baby factory."
Kotopause
"And delivered by a giant bird. Dumbo (1941) messed me up in so many ways."
MadOrange64
Saliva
"I knew that kissing was involved. I also knew that sperm was involved after watching 'Look Who’s Talking' with my parents (I think there’s a scene showing the sperm traveling to the egg while talking to each other). So my 7-year-old brain assumed that somehow sperm was transferred through the saliva while kissing."
Djent_Reznor1
The Seed
"My mom explained to me that she and my dad helped God make me. So I imagined them traveling to heaven and picking out parts like it was a build-a-bear or something. So then I was very confused when I asked my mom what heaven was like and she said she had never been. I was like, I knew it... I'm adopted."
"I explained to my children (7, 6 & 4) when I was having our 4th last year that mommies have eggs in their bellies, and daddies have a seed. And then the daddy puts the seed in the belly, it goes into the egg and the baby starts growing. They asked how the seed gets in the belly and I told them I would tell them when they are older. I'm pretty sure they think it goes in through the belly button."
spidermom4
Good Faith
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"My parents told me that you just had to pray for one and you can be pregnant the next day."
asn-grl
"My mom's friend thought the opposite, she would pray every night not to get pregnant because she thought that she could just get preggers randomly."
HumanHuman_2003
Prayer can only do so much.
But I'm not going to get into that aspect if it all.
All judgment aside, we're all meant to do some things and not meant to do other things, and there are simply some people in the world who would make better parents than others.
Those who decide to parent while knowing that they didn't want kids often wind up saying and doing things that do far more harm than good to their children.
Redditor Enockito asked:
"What's the most hurtful thing your parent ever said to you?"
Outrageous Beauty Standards
"I hate that something so ugly came out of me."
"For context, my mom is Korean, slim, and petite. She had two daughters with a Black American man, and we were never skinny, pretty, or smart enough for her. And she told us all the time."
- black_frost
A Ruined Life
"They gave me the advice to never have children and said that all of us (us six kids) ruined my mother's life."
- bbgmedusa
"First kid, shame on you... But the next five?"
- all4goats
Cancerous Entitlement
"I can't believe you expect so much from us just because you got diagnosed with cancer."
"My mother while kicking me out of her house in the middle of chemotherapy at 25 years of age when I couldn't afford to pay rent on unemployment."
- sKiLoVa4LiFeZzZ
The Projected Regret
"My mom stopped by for lunch while I was home with my four-year-old daughter."
"I was extremely pregnant with my future son, and she made a big production out of bringing fast food."
"While popping fries in her mouth, she asked me, 'Do you ever regret having children?'"
"I looked at my daughter lining up dinosaurs along the length of our couch and then said, 'No. But I think YOU do.'"
"'Huh,' she said while she popped more fries in her mouth. 'You're right about that.'"
"It's a core memory for me and something that comes flooding back any time I wonder if I was wrong for going no-contact with her."
- TheBookishAndTheBard
Failed Returns
"I'll be back to pick you up in three days."
"(She did not come back.)"
- ParrotOX-CDXX
"My kid's bio-mom did this when he was eight. She lost custody now but f**king ch**st, it still hurts when she doesn’t show up for her appointed weekends because you’re reminded of this s**t."
"Some people don’t deserve to be parents."
- violent-amethyst
An Uncanny Resemblance
"Last week, 'I've always hated you because you look so much like your dad.'"
"I told her that was her fault because why didn't she boink someone else?"
- Comfortable-Ad7591
Gaslighting Central
"I was having an argument with my mom and when I told her about some stuff I remembered that wasn't exactly nice as a kid, she said, 'Well, I don't remember that happening, so it must've never happened, and I choose to live in the reality where it didn't, but you can do whatever you want,' and walked away."
"Feelings invalidated? Oh, big time."
- Juda2112
Sleep Comes First
"I broke my arm on a school ski trip, causing the whole trip to come back late."
"Dad picked me up at school and told me he wasn't taking me to the hospital. Maybe Mom will take me tomorrow."
"We got home, and both parents refused to take me as they needed their sleep."
"They put sleep ahead of me."
"The look the orthopedic doctor gave my mother the next afternoon upon hearing this confirmed it was as f**ked up as I thought."
"This was the 1980s, so child services weren't involved."
- stevea1210
No Exchange Adoptions
"When I was 16, my adopted dad told me, 'I wish we had adopted a girl.'"
"It's been over three decades, and now the man can't even remember my name as dementia takes his mind, and I still resent him for that."
"As I noted when this came up elsewhere, there is a silver lining to be had from it. As a parent myself I am acutely aware of just how damaging words can be and even when my kids absolutely were p**sing me off I never said anything like this to them. I tried to always tie chastisement to behavior and not them as a person."
- slash_networkboy
The Favorite Grandchild
"I love your sister's kids more than yours."
"She justified it by calling my husband and me better parents, my husband's parents as better grandparents, and saying that my nephews 'needed it more,' which might all be true, but it still stung."
- Bullwinkle932000
Just Joking
"The one that rattles in my head the most (either not repressed or just recent enough to remember better) was from my dad, after I had lost a bit of weight, said, 'Wow, you actually look like a human being.'"
"My dad speaks in sarcasm so who knows how rude he was meant to be but, man... that one burrowed deep."
- VOODOO271
"My dad operated this way all the time. Everything was always just a joke. And then one day I realized that they might have all been jokes, but they all hurt."
"And this was so much worse to realize, because not only would my dad laugh, but he would get upset about it if you got upset at him for what he said. 'You know I’m only joking!' And then he would act all hurt and then I would have the apologize to him for making him feel bad."
"It wasn’t intentional, but it was 100% abuse. The way he was untouchable like a 'it’s just a prank, bro!' TikToker and how he would use the guilt to manipulate was just awful."
- zerobeat
The Mother Traitor
"My mom supported my ex-wife in the divorce and then told my now current wife, 'I'll help you get all the money out of him when you want to leave him.'"
"She also told me flat out that if I demand my kids' car seats from her, she will never babysit them again. The car seats... that she put into a storage unit."
- Icy_Penguin2786
Superficial Love
"It's weird, but out of the dozens of hurtful things, this one always sticks out to me."
"I wrote a personal essay in my senior year of high school. Real earnest one about myself, my values, and my hopes for the future. The teacher loved it and said it was the best thing I'd ever written (and I always struggled with English class and essay writing)."
"I took it home. Dad reads it, furrows his brow, and says, 'This doesn't sound like you at all.' Then he makes me rewrite it, scrubbing out all the parts he doesn't like and putting in things that aren't true about me."
"I always wonder if it would be easier if he openly didn't care about me. Straight up, 'Wish you were never born' kinda deal. Because a lifetime of someone who 'loves you' in superficial ways demonstrating open contempt, disgust, and disapproval for who you are has been painful."
- LotusFlare
This is a great reminder that people should actively think about who they are and what they want before they commit to having children. There are people in the world who are really not meant to have kids, but when they do, it sometimes announces itself in awful, traumatizing ways.
Weddings are supposed to be overwhelmingly happy and fun occasions, but sometimes people get too honest at weddings.
There are certain comments that absolutely shouldn't be made to the happy couple, no matter someone's opinion of the wedding, but when those comments are made, the day can quickly go from a happy time to an awkward one.
Redditor XqueezeMePlease asked:
"What is the worst thing to say to a bride or groom on their wedding day?"
Never the Right Time
"'I thought I would announce, my husband I are engaged or pregnant!'"
- Ms__Keisha
An Unhappy Bride
"At the end of my best man speech two weeks ago, I said, 'I hope I did a good enough job to be able to do this at your next wedding.'"
"The bride wasn’t too happy apparently…"
- Impossible_Doge_90
Think Long and Hard
"I had a good friend (at the time) come up to me, pleading to make sure I am making the right choice and to make sure to think long and hard about it before getting married."
"Two years later, he apologized and blamed it on being wasted. I haven't seen or heard from him since."
- Additional-Bag-1961
These Are Happy Tears
"My dad told his niece on a recording, 'Thinking about your future brings a tear to my eye.'"
- Saiphos
"Oooh, this one is so dependent on tone and inflection, it could be wildly harsh or endearingly sweet!"
"I said, 'No, I'm not much of a happy crier,' when offered tissues at a wedding where everyone knew it was a mistake. Was it a misspeak or a jab, no one could quite tell."
- abqkat
Way to Arrive Prepared
"'Wait, our wedding day is today?'"
- Automatic_Sign3189
Open Bar Troubles
"I've been to one wedding with an open bar."
"I was the plus one and my significant other did a lot of talking with people so I sat and drank... probably more than I should have."
"At one point, the bride sat next to me, we chat, and she (in her drunken state) while crying told me (in my getting drunk state) about how her parents were mad at her for getting drunk at the open bar reception they paid for."
"Cool."
"About a half hour later, my significant other and I were leaving and the mother-of-the-bride said TO THE BRIDE, 'Your father is so sad you're like this.'"
"I shouted in response, 'Yeah, well, you made your daughter CRY on her wedding day so MAYBE CHILL.'"
"The deputy told me to leave and my significant other doesn't ask me to go to weddings anymore."
- Caellum2
Predicting the Future
"See you in 10 years for the divorce."
- Real_Beary
"I give you five years, tops."
- Loa_Sandal
Awkward Comments
"This is so sweet, everyone needs a first marriage. you guys look like ya'll could still be friends after the divorce."
- TrailerParkPrepper
Backhanded Compliments
"I don’t care what people say, I think you two are great together."
- GregSays
Classic Projections
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) didn't attend our wedding, but she told my husband, 'These things don't always last.'"
"We've been together for 25 years."
- aj0457
Poor Marriage Record
"A guy at work, on my last day before my vacation started for my wedding and honeymoon said, 'Good luck with that. I say that as a two-time loser.'"
- kjm16216
Serial Killer Vibes
"At my friend's uncle’s wedding, he told me someone said, 'I want you to look at each other in the eyes, look at the love, the compassion, the joy radiating off your partner and realize... You are now looking at the person who is most likely to kill you.'"
- spooderman2228
The Perfect Pair
"You deserve each other."
- Highway_Man_87
"Oh my god, that’s so backhanded. I love it."
- mishyfishy135
Slip of the Tongue
"I was at a wedding, and during the post-event photos, the groom knocked the flowers out of the bride's hand, and without thinking, I said, 'Gee, you just deflowered her,' and found out is was recorded on the videos they sent out to all their families."
- harperrrc
What a Nightmare
"Hi, I'm your videographer, and during the ceremony... I forgot to press 'record.'"
- Tiberius_Jim
"This happened to me, except it was our photographer. She just… didn’t take any pictures of the ceremony."
"The only reason I didn’t kick her out was she was my husband’s aunt. The pictures she did take of the day were really bad. I have many regrets. Apparently, she used to be a professional photographer, but I now doubt that."
- mishyfishy135
Though a wedding is a big, happy event, there are still ways to mess it up, including comments made by the attendees.
We could all be a little more mindful of what we say to the happy couple on their special day, and how our comments could impact their memory of it.