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Former Homeless People Reveal The Best Ways To Help People On The Street

Former Homeless People Reveal The Best Ways To Help People On The Street

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There are far too many homeless people in America. How the "richest" country in the world could allow even ONE of it's citizens to be sleeping on the street is disheartening. And nowadays more and more children and families are the added numbers on that list of outdoor occupants. Homelessness is something that affects all of us. Anybody can be homeless if life throws you enough curveballs. It's a sad issue that we all can take part is helping fix. Everyone has an opinion on how but it's rare that we actually consult the suffering to find out the best course of action.

Redditor [u/haseo8998][1] asked for advice... [Serious] ex/homeless people, in your opinion what's the best way to really help the homeless? What facilities should each city have for them? Open up your hearts people. There are many in need.

GIVE HELP NOT CHARITY.

The majority of homeless are people you don't see on the street. Families living in cars, people trying to get housing, rents increasing that a family simply cant sustain... I admire San Diego having parking lots dedicated to people/families who live in cars. I also think, as far fetched as it may sound to some, if we give apts to some homeless, with deadlines and goals as we do in the welfare system-- we can help people who are simply in a tough spot. Not everyone is on drugs. Many won't take a hand out, this wasn't supposed to "happen to them." A home provides a sense of stability, their own bathroom. Cooking food. A feeling of safety.

HELP WITH GETTING THERE...

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As a former homeless teen, I needed Transportation (like a bus pass or a bike) to make it to school and my job. I couch surfed a lot as a teen and I didn't have a problem with food offers (I know several people who won't eat in front of others unless they are eating too) but I never took money.

A SOFT COUCH...

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My couch surfing started with some serious mental illness and dysfunction within my immediate family/parents. I saved up money and put a deposit on a tiny apartment moving in with a roommate. I ended up missing too much school and dropping out but I got my GED the summer after I should have graduated. Married at 18 (to a lifeguard who used to yell at me for using the showers at the public pool) and parents soon after. We both worked our butts off and supported each other (taking turns) with college. I now have my masters degree (in Social Work) and 2 of my 3 kids have graduated HS already. (3rd is in middle school now). I honestly feel I was determined to do better on my own but I know it was the support from my marriage that kept me strong.

WORKING HARD FOR THE $$$

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If you know anyone hiring for a job, send them into the homeless shelter and ask for help. Especially if it's an under the table job, 11 times out 10 you'll find help.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOOK...

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A system to rent/lease clothes for interviews and work. I know multiple people who weren't able to accept a job or were fired after a few days because they wouldn't be able to afford the uniform until after the first paycheck. 2) Information on how to obtain safe, affordable (cheap) transportation. A lot of folks who are saving to afford a car have been fired due to unreliable transportation.

HELP WITH NO STRINGS... JUST HELP...

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Don't make services contingent on each other. Some examples. I used to work fairly traditional hours (about 8-6) and I was in a shelter that required me to use case management services to participate. Ok, I can b-s with some college degree for an hour but they wanted me to take time off work in my minimum wage job to go to this appointment during the day. Nope. Not worth my job. Soon as I could, I filled up my tank and moved back into my car. Another example. If someone just wants a shower, don't make them have to move into your shelter overnight. There might be a good reason I don't want to stay there, just let me wash my stinky self and go about my day. Another thing. If I'm sleeping in my car, leave me alone. It's nice to be able to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time before having to move, that life gets exhausting real quick. Don't help me unless I ask for help, police don't need to interfere either unless I am the victim of a crime or breaking a law. Basically be flexible, know that I am a human being who has my own life figured out, know that I know things you don't about my own life, and let me set the terms of interacting with the world to the same extent as anyone else.

EVERYONE NEEDS PROOF OF LIFE...

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Make it easier to get a drivers license. I moved from WA to SoCal and in the process got my wallet stolen with my ID in it. Without an ID you cant get a new debit/credit which equals no cash. Without cards you cant rent, without proof of residency you can't get an ID. Its literally a circle you cant get out of.

A STEADY ADDRESS...

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One of the main reasons the homeless slide further into unemployment is because it's damn near impossible to get a job without a permanent address to give them. I think local businesses are the answer. When you get past the image and stigma, lots of homeless folks just want a job. If the city of state we're able to help businesses with something like tax breaks or whatever to provide min wage work and housing if possible. A restaurant I worked at had a long term dish guy from Mexico living in one of the small studios above the restaurant plus getting a slightly below minimum wage hourly. So many downtown districts have these little spaces. Instead of charging trust fund art kids 2,000/month to live in the attics that those places really are, maybe rent them to people trying to get back on their feet.

A HEALTHY MIND IS A GREAT FIRST STEP...

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I was homeless for about 3 months while I was in college. I slept in the school library during weeknights, and on the steps of a church on weekends. I showered and kept most of my stuff in the school gym. Personally I started drinking almost every night because it's so hard to sleep on the concrete, or under the bright lights in the library without something flowing through your system. A lot of homeless people use drugs not just to cope, but to keep themselves on a regular sleep schedule. It's really hard to get a good night's sleep when you don't have any sort of mattress to sleep on, or have lights shining in your eyes at all hours of the night.

There was a homeless shelter nearby but it's only open at night, and it's first come, first served, so if you have classes or other stuff to do there usually isn't any space left. Plus you have to sit on the sidewalk with a bunch of other hobos waiting for it to open. Expanding the size of homeless shelters could help, but it also has a disparate impact on the nearby neighborhoods as well. No one wants a bunch of addicts lying around doing drugs on their front lawn or in front of their business.

Around half the homeless people I met were homeless by choice and wouldn't take a free home if it was offered. A lot of them traveled around the country, often by hopping freight trains. These people wouldn't take services even if offered. Most of the ones I got along with refused to panhandle because they felt it demeaning. A lot of them actually had jobs, they just chose to be homeless for personal or financial services. I think one of the issues with the public's perception of homelessness is that people assume everyone wants a home, everyone wants services, everyone wants to stop being homeless. A majority of the homeless people I met were perfectly happy living life as a hobo.

However, about a quarter of them had serious, obvious mental health issues like schizophrenia. I'd love to see an increase in services to help these people. I think it would be cool if we could create a semi-assisted living community for these people, allowing them some degree of independence as appropriate, but with supervision from health care professionals, sort of like a nursing home for hobos.

A QUICK RINSE...

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Washrooms. I m not joking here. A bathhouse or simple sanitary measures. Most homeless people look ugly and disheveled because they don't have option to tidy up. A simple bath makes them socially more acceptable and will boost their sense of self worth.

ALL SHOULD BE AVAILABLE...

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They need to offer the option of buying warm food with food stamps first of all. The worst thing was when I was homeless and couldn't even keep any of our food because we didn't have any way to store it or cook it. I could go to a food bank sure, but they gave me 10 lbs of frozen meat and some canned veggies. You have no way of preparing this stuff when you're homeless in the middle of a small town. Not only that, but when you're homeless they actually have the gall to lower SSI and foodstamps because you're no longer paying bills or utilities. Public restrooms and showers would also be wonderful instead of having to wander around at 8am trying to find an open gas station or corner store with a bathroom.

PAGING A DOCTOR....

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HEALTHCARE. If a homeless person breaks their ankle and doesn't have the money or insurance to cover it they're screwed. And then if its not treated it doesn't heal right then they're even MORE screwed. Mobility is key to being homeless.

MORE OPEN SPACES...

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I used to hop freight trains so this will be a bit different.

I feel like I would have greatly benefitted from libraries being open later, because they were one of my number one spots to go sit, read, and use wifi.

Public parks could use more benches or places to just sit and maybe hang out with your road dawgs for a bit

Also, trash bins outside! I don't litter, but carrying my trash around in my pack and my pockets sucked and sometimes trash bins are few and far between

A FULL PLAN...

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I've been homeless more than once. Sleeping in every article of clothing I own because it's winter in upstate NY, USA kinda homeless.

The best way to really help the homeless? In patient mental health treatment, substance abuse and addiction counseling, and basic needs providence - on a time limit.

Transition assistance from indigent to social cog.

Self esteem and employability coaching.

A one year program that reintegrates people into a stable lifestyle is a great start. It's got to be a one-off though. No repeats. It's gotta be assistance, not a crutch.

If I'd have had any of this, I wouldn't have had to fight it out by myself. I wouldn't have relapsed so many times. I wouldn't be afraid or ashamed of asking for help or handouts.

It's tough, in capitalist nations. It's even tougher in countries with no actual backing to their currency. It's the worst when everyone hates the poor.

THE BASICS...

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Volunteer/donate at shelters (make sure they're running well before either one.)

Cities should all have areas where the homeless can at the very least get cleaned up. A way to get a haircut, hygiene supplies (Tampons, pads, soap, shampoo.) a shower, bathroom etc. Understandably a city can't always supply a place to sleep, (yes I know about potential alternatives, but a city can't always get the approval whether its from local politicians or the voters in the area.) But they should do their best to atleast try to help, whether it's simple shelters in parks a person can bunker down in during a storm, a big check in shelter, or a network of volunteer centers.

They should also regularly check in on how things are run, much more than just budgeting and whether they meet grant requirements, but whether or not they're making sure donations go where they should be going, whether or not they're operating under a reasonable overhead, etc.

BELIEVE IN HUMANITY...

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I don't know. I learned nothing from my experience except how seemingly terrible and complex the problem is. A lot of the people I encountered are meaningfully mentally ill or physically disabled enough that I don't think there's any path forward for them to living a fully independent life in the conventional sense, they probably need some sort of assisted living program. Other people are so briefly homeless and otherwise capable, that even calling them homeless is more a barrier for them than any sort of meaningful category.

Most people don't want to give to individuals, because some of those individuals are scammers or else are addicts, so they either do nothing or else give to organizations that provide services that unfortunately are often worse than nothing and incur overheard costs that lessens the impact of the money given from the moment it's donated. I would rather sleep outside then in the average homeless shelter, so giving to them isn't necessarily the answer either.

Though I suppose from all this complexity emerges a certain simplicity, in that, if the government took ownership of these problems and actually allocated any money to them at all, it would probably be much easier to create shelters that actually serve a function. Right now you have a lot of private organizations, competing for funding, which usually involves that they demonstrate they serve a unique function and have a novel approach to the problem in their area. Rather than encourage innovation, this essentially nullifies efforts for groups to work together or consolidate services into a comprehensive continuum of care in the way that a state run program might be able to. Granted many states, including my own, are terribly broke at the moment, which sounds like a good reason not to fund such programs, until you figure in the fact that the absence of such programs is probably costing them a lot of money in a round about way, not to mention the fact that said states have had many opportunities to make millions off of paving the way for things like recreational marijuana and gambling and such, but they drag their feet pointlessly.

Ironically the non-profit sector, at the level of the research and the money, is often very self-serving because nothing can meaningfully be expected to be accomplished with no money except jettisoning a phd students career into a better field, that they don't stay means that the people who do stay, are often not policy researchers, but career bureaucrats who don't value novel solutions and therefore perpetuate the cycle of turning away innovation.

It's the intersection of a lot of human failings, the ineptness of government, the cynicism of the individual, even the limitations of medicine itself. At the end of the day, a cursory look at the globe shows us that in countries where homelessness is not a problem, it's clearly a result of them adopting the idea and the priority that no one should be homeless regardless of their situation or character, which is obviously not something that is embraced in the U.S.A.

Personally, my optimism on the issue does not lie with the conventional social service non-profit sector, but with the innovation of designers and engineers. I think the very concept of what it means to be housed is in flux, and that while a lot of the problems they're facing in redefining the nature of housing, structure and shelter are very large, I'll always bet on the mountain that wants to be moved over the pebble that sure as hell doesn't.

SHELTERS SHOULD BE COMFORTABLE.

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I was lucky to be homeless in a city with the best shelter I ever heard of. It's a huge facility that offers free, unlimited access to showers, toilets and laundry machines. There is an administrative area where anyone can meet one of the social workers there, or register to make the shelter their official address, so they can receive mail. The canteen serves pretty high quality food for free. There is a common area with beds, but also private boxes with a bed and a small kitchen you can rent like an appartement for 90€/month. The team is overall pretty nice. The best part is that you don't need to painstalkingly prove you're really homeless, provide a lot of documents like in other shelters ; in this one, they treat you with respect and offer you food, shelter and support before talking about papers.

I feel like if every city had such a shelter, it'd be pretty good.

BEING PAID WHAT WE'RE ALL WORTH!

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It comes down to homeless people wanting to rejoin society or not. Right now, it's easier for some to be homeless than to live on minimum wage.

People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions

Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'

silhouette photography of couple
Sean Stratton on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.

Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.

However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.

I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:

"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"

It's Just A Joke!

"No cruel or rude pranks."

– detective_kiara

"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."

– innocuousspeculation

We're (Not) Gonna Party!

"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."

– PlantBasedStangl

"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."

– PlantBasedStangl

LOL

"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."

– Legendary_Lamb2020

My Ears Are Bleeding!

"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."

– YourLocalOrca

At that point, it does sound like them 😂

– CuriousRedditor98

Funemployed

"Have a f**king job."

– Cuss-Mustard

"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."

"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"

"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"

"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."

– DigNitty

"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."

– Pinsit

Just Breathe

"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."

–fishfood19

"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."

– Jonowl89

That'll Do It

"I guess my husband restricts my dating."

– HeinousEncephalon

"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"

– AuralRapist

Prehistoric Love

"Must like dinosaurs."

– Grungeceratops

"That goes without saying."

– Plain_Chacalaca

What's In A Name?

"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."

– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."

– severaltalkingducks

Be Polite

"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."

"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."

– OctopusCandleCompany

God Only Knows

"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."

"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."

– Lulu_42

"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."

– Alcoraiden

Let's Move Tonight (Literally)

"They need to be ok with cold weather."

"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."

"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."

– ThePresidentCantSwim

"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."

– Partner-Elijah

My Purr-fect Match

"Cat has to approve."

– Possible-Source-2454

Non-Negotiable

"They need to be male. Kind of important."

– RMHaney

"So weird, I want the complete opposite."

– eightvo

Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

Life is full of shock and surprise.

Apparently, that is part of the fun.

Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?

We always think we're immune to way too many things.

Anything and everything is possible.

It's important to be ready.

Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:

"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"

I haven't been left that shocked that often.

I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.

But you never know.

I'm Dead

Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy

"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."

"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."

amanitachill

Crash Into Me

"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."

aster636

"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."

anjie59k

Hot Air

Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy

"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."

GymDoll2000

"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."

Environmental-Car481

This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.

Always have. Always will.

Tragic

Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy

"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."

Tssodie

Bad Penguin

"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."

"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."

archaeologistbarbie

All Gone

"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."

"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."

toomuchisjustenough

Good Luck

"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."

jumbospicyslimjim

"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"

frappbarqueen

Early Michael Myers

"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."

Mr_Spaghetti_Hands

Bad Landing

Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy

"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."

Competitive_Show6205

This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"

They are minions of the devil.

Person cooking in home kitchen
Conscious Design on Unsplash

We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.

From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.

Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:

"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"

Fly Spray Sandwiches

"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."

"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."

"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."

- littlehungrygiraffe

Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs

"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."

- PhoneboothLynn

A Disturbing Surprise

"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."

"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."

- MrRailton

In Need of Child Protective Services

"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."

"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."

"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."

- Alltheprettydresses

Traumatized by Raisins

"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."

- tcumber

"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."

- User2716057

You WISH That Was Vinegar

"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."

"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."

- 116843189

Poor Home Hygiene

"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."

- MinimalistHomestead

Every Surface Covered

"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."

"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."

"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"

"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."

- KnittinAndB***hin

O Holy Expiration Dates

"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."

"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"

- SundayMorningTrisha

An Immune System to Remember

"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."

"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."

"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."

"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."

- tha_stormin_mormon

Neighborly Love

"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."

"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."

"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."

"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."

"Some people need help and a little company…"

- SnooPeripherals6557

No Longer Rice

"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."

"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"

"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."

- justad**nfool

"Those cats probably used it as litter."

- Anonymanx

"Yeah, that was my fear."

- justad**nfool

Could Have Warned Her

"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."

"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."

"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."

- smoothiefruit

"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"

- whydontthissitework

Bad to the Point of Malnutrition

"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."

"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."

"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."

"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."

"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."

"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."

"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."

- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

Clean Hands

"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."

"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."

- SafewordisJohnCandy

We're left with chills after reading these stories.

Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.