A father and his husband raising a 13-year-old girl going through puberty surely comes with some challenges.
To save herself from embarrassment, their daughter would call to be picked up from school when she unexpectedly has her period.
The last thing Redittor "aita_dadnurse" needed was listening to the school nurse lecturing him about parenting after she accused his daughter of being manipulative.
Dad had some contentious words while defending his daughter but now feels guilty.
So he asked the "Am I the A$$hole" SubReddit community if his frustration was warranted.
"My husband and I (both 40m) are raising a 13-y/o girl, to clarify."
"My daughter struggles every few months with her period. She's fine most of the time, but some months she gets her period unexpected at school, and it's embarrassing to her."
"She won't carry pads because they have clear backpacks, and she doesn't like wearing her own slightly bloody underwear for half a day—understandable."
"When she gets her period, she goes to the nurse with 'an awful stomachache' and I am called (I work from home so it's easier for me to get her.) Nurse always reminds me that she 'could be faking' but I always pick her up and bring her home."
When the OP went to retrieve his daughter, the nurse had some words.
"Yesterday, she called again, so I walked into school to get her and the nurse was waiting in the office. Nurse asked me if I was aware that my daughter had 'a pattern'."
"I told her yes, but that we had things figured out. Nurse said that if she's really having stomach problems like this, I should take her to the doctor, because she might have anxiety. I said 'thank you, but my husband and I have things figured out'."
"Nurse got very cold. 'I don't think you're taking her anxiety seriously. Fathers are supposed to want what's best for their girls, and as a nurse I feel it's my duty to ensure she is safe.'"
"This lit a fuse with me. Here's where I could be TA: I told the nurse 'I know my daughter better than you do. It is none of your business what her stomach issues come from unless a parent tells you.'"
"She then told me: 'I am afraid if she is not anxious she is manipulating you into bringing her home from school. Is there a class she dreads? Does she do her homework?'"
"I said: 'My daughter is an honor roll student and an honest girl. I'm sorry you don't think so, but I know her and I know she's not lying to me. Stay out of our personal business.'"
"She turned over my daughter without saying much else."
The OP was forced to come up with an alternate plan to avoid future confrontations.
But his altercation with the nurse weighed on his guilty conscience.
"Daughter will now go to the bathroom and text me instead of the nurse—we'll just say she has 'an appointment.' I feel awful, though, for being ticked—the nurse is a professional who deals with awful parents daily, and I know she was just trying to help."
What followed was an interesting discourse about parenting, puberty and the pill.
This Redditor said "You're the a$$hole" (YTA), but explained that—unless she was suffering from a serious medical issue —saving her from distress every time sets her up for failure.
"YTA but hear me out. i'm sure she was only trying to help, and your daughter missing so much school is definitely an issue."
"she needs to carry some pads with her, maybe in a separate little decorative pouch so people can't tell what they are."
"throw some midol in there for the cramps. this is the hard part of being a woman, learning that life cannot completely stop every month when it comes."
"if there is a serious pain/discharge problem, she should visit an OB/GYN and if there isn't a serious problem, she should learn this lesson before she's fired from her first job for calling out sick every month."
"i realize how hard it is to not love on and nurture our babies when they're not feeling good but one woman's opinion, you're setting her up for failure by continuing the pattern without attempting to fix the issue."
"ETA i do think the nurse was a bit out of line by pressing the anxiety/manipulation dialogue but i still stand firm that you're unfortunately the AH here." – taylorgone
Some users talked about how schools should provide for feminine hygiene products available for emergencies.
"At school they should be free especially if a student had an accident. Back at my old high school if a girl needed one cause it came early, leaked through, or ran out we had to buy 1 from the nurse. $1 for pads $2 for tampons."
"Never could understand why they made us pay when they knew a good size of the student body couldn't do that." – Batcow2106
"There was a lot of poor and homeless kids who's families couldn't afford to get pads/tampons where i grew up."
"I remember one classmate who used towel scraps and wash them in the gyms bathroom if no one was watching. In middle school some female teachers will give extra credit if students brought in those items to help out other students." – Batcow2106
"Please do not blame the nurse. She is there earning a paycheck."
"If the school does not buy them... Can parents of females donate some to the school? Same as we donate supplies. As a teen I kept a back up pad and tampon in my locker." – megabitch420
"That is some f'ing bulls**t tampons and pads shouldn't be classified as novelty items and thus not be so f'ing expensive."
"it's not like you can stop your period at will. People need them for basic f'ing hygiene and it is such bulls**t that they're not cheaper/free." – littreshbag
Some users suggested oral contraceptives as an alternative, as the estrogen and progestin in birth control pills are known for regulating menstrual cycles.
"you can't call out sick just because you don't feel like carrying menstrual supplies."
"If she's getting more severe than average cramps she should try going on the pill. It was life changing for my sister who was suffering in high school." – insomniac29
"The pill can also be great because it makes your periods regular like clockwork, so instead of carrying supplies around all the time you know the exact day it's coming."
"I used to mark my calendar for exactly when it would strike, months in advance." – Errvalunia
However, there are some precautions to be aware of.
"There's a whole host of bulls**t that comes with going on the pill for some people, especially younger people."
"It should never be looked at as a quick fix for anything. If she doesn't want to fill her body with that s**t and she's not having sex, there's nothing wrong with taking an afternoon off from school once a month."
"I'm in my 30s and I take what I call a 'slow day' from work almost every month. I'm on birth control, but periods f'ing suck for some of us no matter what." – itsanincredibleegg
This user faulted the system and sided with the parent.
"This is an 'unintended consequence' of the rule that makes the kids use only transparent backpacks."
"I'm sure the school didn't intend to have a rule that seemingly discriminated against those girls that didn't want to advertise their periods to possibly every vulgar and immature boy in the school who may feel entitled to pass judgement, but it seems that to this pupil that's the result of this policy."
"The child has a right to her bodily autonomy, and this 'one size fits all' rule appears to have deprived her of that. Worse is the clueless nurse who instead of understanding the pubertal girls in her charge, decides to criticise this girl and her mother."
"There are definitely a$$holes in this story, but they're not the OP or her daughter." – FeteFatale
"I actually disagree about the nurse being out of line."
"I was younger than OP's daughter but I used to go to the nurse's office constantly because of stomach pain to the point that my school asked my parents to go to the doctor."
"I actually did have anxiety (although my parents didn't realise it wasn't normal for an eight year old to have pain due to stress and I wasn't taken to a psychiatrist)"
"My point is that the nurse has been seeing this young lady struggle and the parents seemingly not doing anything."
"It's not like you said 'she sometimes gets bad periods and that's why I'm picking her up.' You just said you have everything under control - that's what my parents said when they didn't deal with my anxiety."
"So I'm completely on the nurse's side here!" – JustHereToRedditAway
It's easy to designate someone as the a$$hole, but there is usually more going on than what is immediately apparent.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.