Clever People Imagine How A Make-A-Curse Foundation Would Get Revenge On Their Enemies
You know how the Make-A-Wish Foundation helps less fortunate children? The Make-A-Curse Foundation would exact revenge on your enemies. For a nominal fee, someone will curse an unfortunate soul of your choosing - and the hex lasts forever.
Imagine cursing someone with an itch that can't be scratched, or giving the terrifying gift of unlimited, universal empathy. Here's what Reddit had to offer
mrsam12000 asked, The Make-A-Curse Foundation grants evil services short of murder for terminally ill adults. What last act of revenge would you request for your enemy?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, or profanity.
Come on we're eating here.
Someone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.
It's your job to carry out the curses.
They have to work for the Make-A-Curse Foundation having to inflict all of this and ensure it all works.
I used to hear phantom bangs when I'd fall asleep.
As soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.
A paradox for the ages.
Get the biggest boner in the most awkward and humiliating situations and only get a half boner when they actually want one.
Sounds like a typical day.
All critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.
So just... normal internet.
Their internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.
I'm itchy just reading this.
An itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.
It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
As Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Macaulay Culkin Is Having Fans Vote On What He Should Legally Change His Name To—And The Options Are Bizarre 😮
Have you ever wanted to help your favorite celebrity reach their potential by giving them a new name? Fans of Macaulay Culkin will be able to do just that, as he's allowing them to vote and pick his new middle name.
The choices are beyond strange.
Thanks for having me @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight !!! I'll let you know how the name change works out! https://t.co/iIkTC8OyXH— Macaulay Culkin (@Macaulay Culkin) 1543452222.0
In a segment on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Culkin announced his desire to change his middle name to something else. He allowed people to submit names for the last month, and narrowed those down to the top five.
Some of the suggestions were interesting, to say the least.
@DevonESawa Weird. I'm about to change my middle name. Any good suggestion? Go to https://t.co/BYXGIWJK3g— Macaulay Culkin (@Macaulay Culkin) 1540529059.0
@IncredibleCulk @FallonTonight @jimmyfallon It should be "Culkin, Macaulay" as a middle name. Will be read as: Mac… https://t.co/xRo5AiR8jd— carmineenimrac (@carmineenimrac) 1543469371.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight How did you miss "Macaulay Skulking Culkin"?!— Caleb DAVIS (@Caleb DAVIS) 1543487990.0
@ComicBook @IncredibleCulk Pls add Cacaulay Mulkin as an option— Matt Michler 🌹 (@Matt Michler 🌹) 1543603411.0
@ComicBook @IncredibleCulk Kevin! Obviously.— Andrew 🐼 🐝 (@Andrew 🐼 🐝) 1543603516.0
The official choices: Shark Week, The McRib Is Back, Kieran (submitted by his famous younger brother), Macaulay Culkin, and Publicity Stunt. That last one was suggested by Culkin's girlfriend, actress Brenda Song, and gives away the game.
Fans are still excited to vote for his new name.
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight Macaulay “Shark Week” Culkin has a nice ring to it.🐰 Vote on… https://t.co/AS5ce275jl— Shark Week (@Shark Week) 1543526453.0
The moment of joy that hopefully comes to us all during the day just transpired for me and funny enough, it took le… https://t.co/stOVPePmpy— Sia Brooks (@Sia Brooks) 1543606608.0
Macaulay Culkin Needs A New Middle Name https://t.co/HO9ZMUM1O1 via @bunnyearsweb @IncredibleCulk I voted for "Kier… https://t.co/jnVAa6NTlp— Stetson (@Stetson) 1543815411.0
I voted for @IncredibleCulk new middle name, what did you do today?— Catalina F 🇨🇱 (@Catalina F 🇨🇱) 1543801274.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight I like Keiran— Melissa (@Melissa) 1543517677.0
McAuley Culkin is allowing fans to vote on what is legal middle name should be, two of the final 5 is “Macauley Cul… https://t.co/KUPTU0HnKR— YOUAREDEAD (@YOUAREDEAD) 1543620499.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight Just for you to know, I voted Macaulay Culkin!— 🍀 Maria (@🍀 Maria) 1543495868.0
This is all a publicity stunt to drive traffic to Culkin's website, Bunny Ears, launched earlier this year in March. The site bills itself as a lifestyle and holistic health brand, similar to Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop. However, the articles are jokes or satirical.
Good luck finding the site if you tried to go there right after the Fallon segment.
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon Look at the bunny ears website now after @jimmyfallon voted on @IncredibleCulk middle… https://t.co/PFAwxsRB8E— Charles John Kelly (@Charles John Kelly) 1543485190.0
With articles like "A Tour Guide Of The Places Where Men Have Dumped Me" in their 'Travel Guides' section, or "Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege" under 'Spiritual Wellness,' it's difficult to imagine the site is wanting for traffic.
Time will tell what Culkin's new middle name will be, but as of this writing, it's looking like he'll be known as Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. Which is a shame, because Macaulay Shark Week Culkin had such a nice ring to it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Bunny Ears
Time-Lapse Video Shows What A Rocket Launch Looks Like From Outer Space—And It's Dazzling 😮
We've all seen videos of rockets launching from the ground, but what does the event look like from space?
European Astronaut Alexander Gerst, on board the International Space Station, managed to capture time-lapse footage of the Russian Progress MS-10 cargo spacecraft flying through Earth's atmosphere on its way to delivering supplies to ISS.
Very few people will ever have the chance to see an event like this in person.
Russian Rocket Launch Seen by Space Station - Amazing Time-Lapse Videoyoutu.be
Gerst created the video by setting up a camera to take regular photos through the wrap-around Cupola window of the station, which resulted in a video roughly 16 times faster than real life. Watching the rocket launch in person took 16 minutes but, in Gerst's video, the launch, stage one re-entry, and escape from the atmosphere all occur within one minute.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station That's awesome!— Scott Waby (@Scott Waby) 1542898886.0
The rocket in the video, known as Progress 71, was on its way to delivering 5,652 pounds of supplies to ISS. The next flight, pushed back to December 3 after a sensor malfunction resulted in the cancellation of an October 11 liftoff, will bring replacement personnel for NASA astronaut Serena Auñón-Chancellor and Russian cosmonaut Sergey Prokopyev. Both have been in orbit since June).
If all goes according to plan, the Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques will take off from the steppes of Kazakhs… https://t.co/o0LpNWTsJQ— CTV Vancouver (@CTV Vancouver) 1543800600.0
People online were amazed by the footage from space.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station Seán, thank you for this. THIS is easily one of THE most mesmerising, and exquisitely s… https://t.co/a440XaOEX6— Nathanial_LB - نثنيال (@Nathanial_LB - نثنيال) 1542915054.0
@_TheSeaning @jasonrdavis @Space_Station SO COOOOL— Justin Foley (@Justin Foley) 1542908365.0
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station wow. just...wow. this is incredible— Sarafina Nance (@Sarafina Nance) 1542918245.0
I hardly think I need to hyperbolize this at all, because it’s simply so freaking cool: Time-lapse video of a rocke… https://t.co/lx32324AWv— Phil Plait (@Phil Plait) 1542989889.0
@BadAstronomer I watched this 5 times with my jaw on the floor... And then made everyone around the Thanksgiving ta… https://t.co/iMbSm8nvIO— Marc Leatham (@Marc Leatham) 1542990342.0
@BadAstronomer @LongDogSecurity https://t.co/Yv3YZQI9Oe— MO News DAilY (@MO News DAilY) 1543001454.0
@BadAstronomer I think that’s the most beautiful photo of Earth I’ve ever seen— Ben Migliore (@Ben Migliore) 1543092741.0
@freak1ngawesome Reverse of shooting star— Shivani Jadeja (@Shivani Jadeja) 1543667552.0
@AntonioParis What an inspiring way to begin my day! Thank you! 💫🚀✌🏻— Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley (@Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley) 1543492212.0
Videos like these are a nice reminder that space truly is the final frontier! If ISS is looking for a soundtrack to put behind their video, we have an idea:
Star Trek: The Next Generation Intro HDyoutu.be
White Supremacists Used App To Trick Brett Favre And Soulja Boy Into Recording Messages Supporting Anti-Semitism
White supremacists are truly a scourge. Every time they think you can't go lower, they find a new way to burrow underground and prove you completely wrong, as they did when they targeted two celebrities over the internet and tricked them into spewing garbage.
Brett Favre, star football player, and Soulja Boy, recording artists, were approached by a group claiming to be "a U.S. veterans organization for Cameo, a company that enables consumers to book personalized video greetings from celebrities."
Favre recorded the message, assuming the "request stemmed from [his] interest in veterans affairs" and recorded the message, a service that the perpetrators paid $500+ to complete.
Later on, Favre found his request was appropriated for the agenda of an anti-Semitic hate group.
"I was distressed to learn that the request came from an anti-Semitic group that reposted my video with comments implying that I endorsed their mission. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am therefore donating my $500 Cameo fee to Charities supporting their fight against hate and bigotry."
I'm on Cameo & kinda jealous they didn't request me. Maybe I need to lower my price? Most importantly Brett Favre d… https://t.co/8hsC292nRs— Tom Arnold (@Tom Arnold) 1543784713.0
@TomArnold How do you not know something is anti-Semitic. #ComeOn— keith lyle (@keith lyle) 1543785859.0
@BuzzFeedNews Log everyone off everything now— Zinskē (@Zinskē) 1543635691.0
The organization refers to itself as the GDL, or Goyim Defense League. "Goyim" is the Hebrew word for a non-Jewish person.
According to BuzzFeed News, the group is run by two YouTubers who go by "Handsome Truth" and "Sway Guevara."
"Brett Favre here with a shoutout to the Handsome Truth and the GDL boys," they tricked Favre into saying. "You guys are patriots in my eyes. So keep waking them up and don't let the small get you down. Keep fighting, too, and don't ever forget the USS Liberty and the men and women who died on that day. God bless and take care."
The coded phrases here include "small" for "small hats," a slur for yarmulkes, and the USS Liberty:
"The USS Liberty is a dog whistle referring to an incident in 1967 where Israeli forces fired on the US spy ship, killing 34, during the Six-Day War. In the aftermath, Israel said that its pilots had thought the ship was an Egyptian vessel, and apologized — the government eventually paid out $6.7 million in reparations to the survivors and families of the dead. Ever since, there have been unproven conspiracy theories surrounding the circumstances that question whether the attack was intentional. Both the Israeli and the United States governments have said that it was a case of mistaken identity."
Soulja Boy was also tricked by the group, recording a video saying "Shoutout to Handsome Truth and Sway at GDL," and "GDL for life, b*tch."
The head of the group, Handsome Truth, admitted to the deception in a Livestream on Wednesday:
"Here's the deal, guys, they can reject it if they don't like it, right, so we were trying to get it, like — we wanted to be cryptic enough to where they would say it."
@BuzzFeedNews Sellebrities. I feel bad for people who are forced to treat themselves as products.— TomCat (@TomCat) 1543635593.0
@BuzzFeedNews Only in America...way to go potus, maga sadly 😟😥😠!!!— S Johnson (@S Johnson) 1543677369.0
@BuzzFeedNews This is what happens when you’ll do anything for money and fame...— gwyn (@gwyn) 1543641284.0
@BuzzFeedNews What a load of garbage!— Klopezdranat Tagor (@Klopezdranat Tagor) 1543682300.0
"Soulja Boy was unaware that the video on Cameo was tied to a group that promotes hate," said a Soulja Boy spokesperson. "The promo video was what the Cameo had directed and in no way supports his personal beliefs. He greatly apologizes to anyone who may have been offended."
The malice of this particular incident runs deep.
"On or about November 22nd, Cameo talent received requests that appeared to be aimed at supporting the American military. After recording the videos Cameo learned that the request came from an anti-Semitic group and contained content that could be interpreted as anti-Semitic," Cameo said in a statement to BuzzFeed News.
"This was a blatant misuse of the Cameo platform and a violation of Cameo's terms of service. This is the first incident of its kind in more than 93,000 Cameos and a gross misrepresentation of the talent's political beliefs," the statement continued. "Cameo immediately removed the videos from the website, requested YouTube to remove the content and created new filters to prevent this from happening in the future. The user has been banned from purchasing Cameos."
But will it quell the hate speech? Racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, and misogyny have become commonplace since the election of Donald Trump, and it seems there are weekly incidents of that bigotry. Patrick Little, profiled by the Anti-Defamation League for spreading anti-Semitic hate speech, ran for State Senate in California, winning less than 2% of the vote and being barred from all California Republican events for his gross anti-Semitism. He greatly endorsed the white supremacists' actions.
If historical signs are correct, this sort of speech is likely to be misunderstood and catch fire, thereby inspiring even more hatred. The fight against bigotry must get stronger.
It only costs $500 to get Brett Favre to say something on video. So white supremacists used him to endorse anti-Sem… https://t.co/VdkFnujxrK— Gabriel Snyder (@Gabriel Snyder) 1543780513.0
Alexa, show me 2018 in one headline. https://t.co/7HtmwySIU4 via @mashable— Will Greenwald is still spooky in November (@Will Greenwald is still spooky in November) 1543754183.0
@mashable @BrettFavre may have been tricked, but vicious @ScottWalker taught our children to be Nazis and the best… https://t.co/7gMTCQCmRV— Brian Keith O'Hara (@Brian Keith O'Hara) 1543758130.0
just alt right folks paying Brett favre to unwittingly endorse anti semitism, the world is definitely not fundament… https://t.co/JaeOo61dXJ— R Zach Lamberty (@R Zach Lamberty) 1543635101.0
H/T: BuzzFeed News, Mashable