Reddit user BabySuperfreak asked:
"What's your fantasy 'rich person hobby'?"
Reddit is absolutely right there with you, folks.
Carpentry
Season 4 Wow GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Woodworking, which I already enjoy. But I'd have a huge workshop with all of the expensive tools."
- AMeatPopsicleIAm
"It's fun to figure out how you could spend increasingly large amounts of money on a hobby."
"$10k? Sweet garage shop."
"$100k? Build a huge shop and tweak it out. Loan it out to people who don't have access to shops."
"$1M? I have no idea. Train under the best woodworkers in the world? Visit exotic locales to see how materials/supplies are produced?"
- RedSpikeyThing
"I just want my own bandsaw and I'll be happy, but yeah it's my dream to have my own little shop in a quaint little building in my backyard. It would be the cutest girliest little grandma-core workshop out of a fairytale picture book."
"I'd have little organized stations for everything and it would be so satisfying!"
- BetterRemember
"I've built a pretty decent 'shop' through marketplace and estate sales. Taken a while but I have most of the major tools I need. Affording wood is another story"
- allf8ed
Want To Grab Lunch?
"I want to be a 'lady who lunches'."
- suzy7517
"You could even step up your game and do 'Brunch' on Sunday! They would say 'wow she is so rich'.”
- Ok-Suggestion-7965
"Word. Except I think I would hate those people and just lunch w people who are self-employed artists and/or homeless."
- MidLifeHalfHouse
"Those are the only two groups you'd eat lunch with?"
- wandering_ones
Miniatures
Startup Miniatures GIF by Mighty OakGiphy"I love building miniatures. I helped my dad build a few models as a kid. Then I stumbled onto those miniature rooms you can buy on Amazon. Surprisingly cheap for the decent quality. I've done about 10 of them and have another 20 on my wishlist."
"I went to a hobby store the other day in search of a material for a custom mini, and my friend brought to me a giant box of a model of the Enterprise. For $1200. 3 months' rent."
"I know my first stop after winning the lottery"
- samtheflamingo
"As a gamesworkshop fan I feel you. I’ve got a wishlist too."
- LordHamu
"Being rich, you could build 1:1 scale miniatures."
- d!ck_schidt
Sailing
Sewing Bee Hello GIF by The Great British Sewing BeeGiphy"Sailing sounds fun as hell"
- WorkingContext
"Sailing is fun as hell. I’ve been crewing now for about 7 years."
"Sailing is cheap. It is owning a boat that’s expensive. I pay $350 a year for access to my local club’s boats if I do want to go take a boat out myself."
"Boat owners frequently spend $350 on parts for a single event, and people always need dependable and reliable crew."
"I’ve even gotten flown out to tropical places and had my accommodations paid for at bigger events! I don’t even own a boat, just pull lines!"
"If you live near a racing community, you can get into sailing at the cost of maybe some sandwiches for the team, or occasionally replacing sunglasses you drop in the drink, you just need the right attitude."
- lifeinexile42069
"I agree, but only during the day as the ocean according to videos seems pretty terrifying looking at night"
- 2020-RedditUser
"Sailing is it for me too, particularly cruising. I'd like a nice, 45 ft catamaran that I could cruise around on with the family."
"I have more immediate ambitions to get a little beach cat (Hobie cat, etc) or a dinghy and improve my sailing skills."
"My local 'yacht club' has a learn to sail class that's pretty affordable for a two day introductory class and going out sailing twice (~$100). I did it last year, but I'm considering doing it again as I didn't exactly consolidate my skillet with practice in between."
- TryingSquirrel
Traveling
"Traveling. I know it isn’t much of a hobby, but traveling can be very expensive, and I’ve always wanted to travel the world."
- Im_a_noodle_101
"Beside the cost, getting time off from your full time job can be very hard. I want to spend the summer traveling in XYZ, not fly in, have a couple of days looking around then fly back to work. There's no time to really relax and enjoy the experience"
- PecanSama
"Be one of those people perpetually on vacation."
- wazzle13
"I'm with you on that. I see all the wonderful places to travel and will never be able to go to them. At least many are on streaming channels now."
- Laura9624
"Traveling without budget or ANY money worries. I'd like that. No more sh*tty third-grade hotels and public transportation *joys* and just enjoying the trip."
- Khalae
"I'd travel the world till I physically can't lol that sounds fun"
- Several-Orchid9640
Esthetic Farming
calfs GIFGiphy"Owning a hobby farm/garden with *small breeds of farm animals (mini cheviot sheep, serama chickens, bantam call ducks, miniature jersey cows) *lush vegetation (english garden/new cottage style landscaping) *an orchard with a huge range of different kinds of each fruit and climate controlled greenhouses for plants that wouldn't grow in my region"
- RK_Killer
"Would they be miniature fruit trees? I want the small animals walking amongst the small trees with small fruit."
- phobosmarsdeimos
"I would love it to have ducks, cats, dogs, rabbits anything to be honest and just watch them enjoy their time and play around. A small pond for the animals to cool down, big trees for nice cool shadows and also some fruits that drop for them etc."
- Bfnti
Prehistoric Collection
"I'd like to have a large collection of really cool fossils. The really neat ones are expensive."
- revtim
"Oooh, good thought. You know there's a tech billionaire somewhere (I'm blanking on which one) that got really into collecting gemstones after he got swindled into buying some fakes."
"He found the geology of them fascinating and now he has the biggest jewel collection outside of a royal family and was in a documentary talking about them."
"I think pure geekery unfettered by financial restraints may my favorite use of a large fortune."
- gonegonegoneaway211
"Like a complete T-Rex skeleton and a complete Triceratops skeleton and make them fight like action figures... I'm not going to judge."
- phobosmarsdeimos
Preservation Of Wildlife
Happy Feel Good GIFGiphy"I'd really like to hire a ton of experts to help me find and preserve a wildlife habitat with all native species."
"Get rid of all the invasive plants and whatnot and make it how it was before we got here. I'd be the anti gardener."
- AmericanGoose23
"Same goals club! I’ve got a good 100 acres chugging away just woods. Have had several offers to buy it but they’re gonna have to wait til I’m dead."
"Last guy asked me why I wouldn’t sell. 'Because somebody already lives there sir.' Him-' but your house is way up there.' Me- 'yea but the birds and bugs live here.' Also learned that old people get pissed off when young people own land and don’t develop it into housing editions. 'People could live here!' People could live somewhere else too."
- Abrahamlinkenssphere
"Mine is similar: I want to make a huge bee sanctuary filled with all sorts of wildflowers and plants, with an absolute ton of pollinators like bees, butterflies and moths."
"Also all sorts of other interesting plants like oak trees and wild grass."
- -Reddit_Account-
"Yours is my favorite I think :)"
- gonegonegoneaway211
'Paying' It Forward
Talking Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Anonymously paying debts or giving things to people in need."
- DarkleCCMan
"Robin Hood, that you?"
- Numerous-Rough-827
"I'd help with that if I could!"
- Several-Orchid9640
"I think it would feel pretty amazing to sit in a bankruptcy court and pay off a defendant’s judgment. Idk how it works, though, like whether you can make a payment anonymously on someone else’s behalf."
- LevelPerception4
"I wouldn’t pay off debts (other than to immediate family members), but I like the idea of randomly paying for groceries or gas for strangers."
"Especially at the last week or so of each month. Have some type of set up so I could have an arrangement with a store’s manager to call down to the cashier to just tell the customer after they scan everything, 'It’s your lucky day! You don’t have to pay!'."
- OhiobornCAraised
Community Spaces
"Operating a maker space that enriches the community and enables everyone to have access to tools and space to create anything they need / want."
- Ximidar
"oh yeah my husband and I have talked about doing this"
- seven_seacat
"I'd love to have this for music. Like a rehearsal complex for certain younger artists I see potential in."
"Also have a recording studio nearby as well. Just try to develop some sort of niche community of musicians that focus on certain aspects of music"
"Have all the stuff like drumkits, guitar amps, all that in each room already (kind of like a normal rehearsal space you pay for). Maybe even some cheaper guitars so that even if you don't have money you can use them"
"Maybe do some community events with all the people, and who knows. Maybe some amazing bands or groups could come from it."
- appleparkfive
Alright bougie broke friends, it's your turn at the mic.
We know what Reddit would do for hobbies if they got rich, but what about you?
Anybody suddenly feel like funding a documentary into Tevin Campbell's life, music, and how homophobia robbed him of a bigger career and the community of a cornerstone personality?
No? Just me and my love for Mr. Campbell acting up again?
Reddit user Tacoma__Crow asked:
"What was the oddest job you’ve had and why?"
Lemons for the Queen doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, honestly.
Weight Ballast
"In small rural town, I (15M) close to 200lbs got a job as a farm Hand expecting to work planting and harvesting."
"I was quite a large athletic lad at the time."
"And I show up for my first day of work and the planting equipment on the back of the tractor was missing some parts."
"So my boss told me to climb atop the planting equipment to make sure it would plant deep enough"
"FML I got hired to be a heavy object, weight, ballast."
"I will never forget my first job as weight"- Logical-Tomato-215
A Google-izer Or Is It Googlee ?
"Googling stuff for people."
"I used to work for kgbkgb, which was this text messaging service where you could text a number, ask any question, and get an answer for $.99."
"This was before smartphones became super huge, so it was a bit of a helpful gimmick back then."
"However, for everyone that we got asking normal questions like movie times, or what restaurants were open near them, or stuff like that, we got A LOT more people asking very stupid things that I would have to Google."
"I have this album of a bunch of weird questions that people sent to us."
"It was an interesting job that helped cover some things when I was in college, but it also had me using Google for a lot of weird sh*t."- -eDgAR-
evan peters google GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphyOne Day
"I was employed by JC Penney for literally one day."
"I didn't quit, and I wasn't fired."
"That was the term of my employment."
"This was back in 1998 and I was entering my senior year of high school."
"They had a huge sale in the store and they hired dozens of people to cover every department because they were anticipating huge crowds."
"This was not a Black Friday sale, but they anticipated correctly, nonetheless."
"One of the shift supervisors gave me some busy work to start the day, folding shirts or whatever."
"After lunch I was basically asked to walk around from time to time and pick up any knocked over merchandise."
"The last few hours got boring, so one of the other supervisors that I had been chatting with throughout the day invited me to hang out during his break."
"His words were, 'what are they gonna do, fire you?' "
"Good times." - ThePreachingDrummer
Ring
"I was the girl that crawled out of a fake well at a Halloween hay ride once ."
"That was actually pretty fun!"
"Why: I was 14 and after four weeks working Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays all evening I got $150!."
"Under the table of course."- CaseyBoogies
The Ring Movie GIF by Arrow VideoGiphyCorpse Uber
"Transporting deceased people who our county declared John/Jill Does to the proper county or city coroner once they were identified."
"Some obscure state law back in the 80's made it illegal to transport that particular type of dead person while the sun was up."
"Screwed up job, but it paid $15 an hour back in 1985."
"Guess it paid so much because most people were unwilling to do it."
"That was a hell of a lot for a college student to turn down."
"Interesting fact."
"When you hit a bump in the road, with an unprepared corpse, their bodies will gurgle, and sometimes air comes out of their lungs and hits their vocal cords."- Leftstrat
3D Pictures
"When i was a teenager I sold those magic eye pictures at a mall kiosk."
"Y'know the ones you have to stare at for a while till your eyes make out a 3d picture?"
"All day I had to try and help frustrated people try and see the f*cking sail boat."- Reddit
Fancy Title
"My first job was with a temp agency; worked in an accounting office going through boxes of records and making sure there were no staples or fasteners in anything."
"Then the boxes would go to another dept to be scanned onto microfiche."
"I had some fancy title, like 'Accounting Clerk' and was making over $11 an hr., back when min wage was still like $5 and change, so I thought I was living large'."
"A funny part of the story is that I started on a Friday, and came to work in khakis and a polo-Monday I came dressed the same way and got spoke to about dressing professionally because Friday was casual Friday and not normal dress code."
"Lol felt dumb having to wear business attire and a tie when I was in the back in a cubicle pulling staples out of documents."- HalfBeatingHeart
Cutthroat Cookies
"Worked for the girl scouts and ran the cookie sale for a regional area that included a major American city."
"Craziest and most stressful job I ever had."
"It seems all cute and charming until you have 30 furious cookie moms screaming at you in your office at 6:30 AM on a Saturday because the truck carrying 5 pallets of thin mints is stuck in a blizzard."
"I had to break up fist fights between parents because someone 'stole' someone's spot outside of a grocery store. It's cutthroat."
"Anyway that job was decades ago and I still have stress nightmares about it!"- Neither-Copy785
episode 19 GIFGiphyKitty Sitting
"Not a job exactly but one awesome day."
"I used to work in the concrete business."
"We once had a job pouring a slab for residential parking and a neighbor nearby had a kitten just a couple months old."
"It would not stay out of the concrete as you can imagine it thought us picking it up and washing its paws was a game."
"Eventually the boss told me to grab the kitten and go hold it hostage in the truck."
"So I spent the next six hours sitting in the truck with a super friendly kitten sleeping on my chest."
"I got paid to babysit a kitten."- Sectaguy
GiphyKept That Swamp clean
"Swamp Janitor."
"Official title was 'invasive species removal technician' but really I was a swamp janitor. "
"There was this invasive aquatic plant that would completely take over swamps and choke out all the native life, so my job was to go in with a rake and pitchfork and literally just clean up the swamp of this devil plant."
"Some parts were cool, watching eagles fish, seeing turtles come up for air and big fish swimming in the water but a lot of it sucked."
"The plant had sharp seeds that would pierce your skin and your waders."
"You'd get leeches, tics and mosquitos on you all day."
"Physically exhausting with lots of sun."
"You'd have to haul the plant matter to giant compost heaps that were full of snakes, for some reason the snakes liked it."
"It was a unique but grueling job."- UniverseBear
bathroom stall GIFGiphySee the Pyramids Along The Way..."
"Multi-Level Marketing."
"Kid told me about a really cool energy drink company back in high school."
"I wanted money."- 992882
Smooth Operator
"A bank was digitizing their records."
"I got paid to remove staples and creases from paper so all their old records could be scanned without issues."
"10 hours a day, just removing staples and creases."- Both-Grocery-7008
Not The Job, But The Clientele
"I'm a host at a local restaurant and I have met both the most mundane and weirdest people ever."
"My favorite story is that a few months ago I had 3 different people, all men in their 40's to 50's, come in one after another say almost the same thing."
'They all said 'can I get a table for [large number here]'."
'I have to say, they were all in different parties, completely strangers that walked in 5 minutes apart with the same line."- f---thezodiac
Lisa Simpson Restaurant GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyHappy, Despite People Looking Down At You
"Shoeshiner."
"15 year old female and I needed cash."
"Would shine shoes at car washes and country bars, usually made $100-300 a day."
"Oddly fun and met a ton of people, got other odd jobs from businessmen like hostess check in at events and functions."- Starlettohara23
Left Them Feeling Blue
"Got a job through a temp agency working at a scrap metal plant."
"Because I wasn't 18 yet, I couldn't operate most of the heavy machinery or the fork trucks."
"So they put me in a side room and had me siev cobalt."
"So for a while, I would run the positive motion conveyor, which was just a big table hooked to a rotary motor so it made all the stuff on it 'hop' from one side to the other."
"At one end, they hung a 1-ton bag of cobalt over the conveyor."
"At my end, I had a metal grating over a bunch of barrels."
"As the conveyor advanced, the dust fell through into the first barrels."
"My job was to pick the big chunks of cobalt off of the grating and toss them into another set of barrels."
"It was hot and humid, and cobalt dust is blue, so every day I came home looking like a damn smurf."- Hephaestus0308
GiphyPaid To Pillage?
"I (14NB) had a gig exploring abandoned places to take stuff out of there."
"It was interesting."
'I didn't record but I explore abandoned places."
"For my job, it was houses."
"For my hobby, I did schools, funeral homes, summer camps, hospitals, day cares, etc."- Lonely_Person_1670
Better not have snuck a sip!
"Serving beer when i was 10 years old with my 9 year old friend in the most alcoholic country in the world."- Old-Command-7706
A Sign Of Bad Things To Come.
"So not really a job but when I worked for this restaurant in my home town I got called in on one of my days off."
"I only worked like 3 or 4 days a week, and I was 16 and thought I could use more money."
"So I go in to see about 7 people with my same position there, I was a dishboy, and I was so confused I ask the manager what they needed because they didn't disclose it over the phone."
"They asked me to scrub all the trash cans as if someone else couldn't have done it and it was a very slow day."
They weren't happy about it and just told me I couldn't go home until I did it."
"Now I hadn't even clocked in yet and I was unaware that I could've just left but I was scared of losing my job so I did it and I think I lasted there for another 2 or 3 months before I was like nope I'm done."- nuchiha44
Trash Can GIFGiphyWeird Can Often Be Fun
"Working in an old brick quarry that was now a landfill."
"Collecting and sorting scrap metal for recycling."
"Also operating heavy equipment, a john deere drot and a cat d7 bulldozer."
"Best job of my whole life, so much fun."
"Super dangerous but had a blast 10/10 would do again."- dowend
Okay so we've measured lemons for royalty, been a taxi for dead folks, and been an overpaid staple remover with a fancy title.
You're up, readers.
Got anything that competes with that?
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At Work
Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Average work hours"
- friendofjay
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
- cageygrading
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
- ravenfire47
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
- Pathwil
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
- OnTheGoodSideofLife
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
- Pathwil
Unwanted Hair
"My nose hair."
- HunterRemarkable550
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
- Osborne85
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
- radekvitr
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
- unbridledboredom
Lines For Fun
Episode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Lines at any amusement park."
- TheNonMurderingSort
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
- darkaurora84
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
- cutelyaware
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
- olcrazypete
Personal Height
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
- Megalon84
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
- Jak_n_Dax
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
- Zymper
"You took the words right out my mouth"
- LateTeenAnubis
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
- kriminellart
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
- ecodrew
"Underrated."
- PM_meyourGradyWhite
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
- souleaterevans626
Rest
Tired Baby GIFGiphy"The amount of time you need to sleep"
- WomenAreNotReal
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
- 1ne3hree
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
- Sad_But_Realistic
Court Appointees
"Supreme court appointments."
- Debasque
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
- DerCatzefragger
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
- slowclicker
NFL
College Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
- sometimesimtoxic
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
- cozyroof
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
- DerCatzefragger
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
- DustinAM
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
- Piemaster113
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
- ryukin631
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
- Mister_McGreg
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
- pamplemouss
New Movies
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
- olnog
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
- ActualTechSupport
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
- rabid-
Block
"Unskippable ads on YouTube."
Fabulous_Parking66
"Not all of them, but maybe 50-60% of 'unskippable' ads actually are skippable. Hit the little '(i)' icon in the bottom left of the screen, then 'stop seeing ad.' Don’t fill out the reasoning, just hit cancel and it skips the ad series."
GeminiTitmouse
"Use adblock plus and you never have to watch an ad on youtube again."
Fakedduckjump
Just Vote
"US political campaigns. The worst part is l live in Pennsylvania which is a state that is usually a battleground state so we are hammered day and night with TV ads for months and months. We will be voting for Governor and U S Senate candidates this November’s election. I’m so glad l’m computer literate so l have an escape."
namvet67
Look Up
Big Mouth Eyebrows GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"From the perspective of a man over 50, I’m going to say my eyebrow hairs."
mr_dbini
"I love my wizardly eyebrows."
BangBangMeatMachine
Health
"Colds."
Fearless_Link_3464
"Do you smoke? Cause my colds last weeks. When I didn't smoke they rarely lasted more than 2 days."
JasonIsBaad
"I don't smoke. But, colds are very annoying. Stay home from work, no kissing, and just staying away from everyone so you don't spread. Also, everyone will ask if it's COVID."
Fearless_Link_3464
Transactions
"Tax Code."
blazze_eternal
"The United States Government shall implement one and only one tax assessment on all transactions. There are no exceptions. That tax rate shall be N%. Now congress can fight over that number. People can understand what they are taxed. When some wants universal healthcare or a new AntiBallistic Missile system they can work it out in packs of cigarettes."
"The rich don't get to not pay as each stock sale, money to transfer, equity dodge gets assessed. The illegal immigrants are now paying their fair share. Everyone pays one number. And businesses are accountable for keeping clean books and much better at it than Joe Shmo. If they aren't then they are breaking laws and the IRS gets to crack some knuckles."
enigmaunbound
Short Term
"A full-term pregnancy."
SuvenPan
"Relative to our size humans should actually be pregnant for 1.5-2 years. That's why when human babies are born they are practically defenseless and can't walk compared to other animals that can walk within the day. So a full term pregnancy is already much shorter than it should be technically."
tradtrad100
Dreams
Brad Pitt Laughing GIFGiphy"Any movie where the character realises that it was all just a delusion at the end (with that cut out)."
Significant-Garlic87
"Fight club is fine because only the character was a delusion, but the events actually happened. Nothings worse than finding out the entire move was a dream."
flpacsnr
How To...
"Most, if not all, YouTube tutorials/how-to videos."
Pulseweaver
"I gotta disagree here, some things really do need the extra detail/background information. Now if it's how to replace X part on Y device sure totally agree I don’t need your life story just gimmie the info. But if I am looking up details on a networking protocol I want allllll the details."
Deadlydragon218
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Reddit user DrillSargeee asked:
"What common household item would be priceless in a post-apocalyptic scenario?"
We'll get back to my theory that Britney Spears from the "If You Seek Amy" video might actually be our post-apocalyptic final girl superhero, but first let's talk to Reddit.
Sodium Hypochlorite
"Bleach"
- [Reddit]
"Absolutely. You only need a teeny tiny bit to make a lot of water drinkable."
- ish*tcupcakes
"I was told by one of my patients who survived in Germany during WWII. She asked me multiple times if I kept enough bleach at home. She said it was by far the thing they used most, in order to purify water for drinking."
- Lngtmelrker
"Bleach starts to degrade after six months and gets less effective by 20% every year. And that’s if you store it properly. So make sure to adjust calculations if using older bleach."
- Bay_Med
Nicksplat Bleach GIF by NickRewindGiphyDuct tape
"Duct tape"
"That's uselful for anything"
- GeraltofRiviva
"Much like the Force, it has a dark side and a light side and it binds things together."
- TriscuitCracker
"Every time we go hiking my dad brings duct tape, and every single time we use it. It's pretty impressive stuff"
- a_singular_fish
"I remember seeing one of those prepper shows, and he was talking about legit prepping for a zombie apocalypse."
"This bit always stayed with me cos I thought it was genius, but he was suggesting wrapping duct tape around clothes to create a kinda makeshift leather armour. to protect against bites."
- tatsumakisempukyaku
Multi Use Shovel
"Shovel."
"(based on a roleplaying session with very limited tools. My character was quickly nicknamed 'Shovel' based on the multitude of problems he could solve with the only item he could find)"
- Evan_Underscore
"Digging holes, cracking skulls, digging holes for the cracked skulls"
- Labrat_The_Man
"Ah, that satisfying 'Pang!' from hitting a face *just* right! -Chef's kiss-"
- heroesarestillhuman
"Is it a Tactical Shovel with 1,000,001 uses including eating ice cream?"
- BirbMaster1998
"When my mom took me and my sister to stock ourselves with a bug out bag, one of the first things I grabbed was a collapsible shovel."
"Entrenching, making fire pits, one edge is serrated for cutting wood, and the handle is designed to make it easy to use as a makeshift battle axe. Probably in the top 3 of most important tools I have."
- PokemonMaster619
Iron, Cast Iron
"I have a cast iron skillet that I use so much it feels like part of my hand. Seasoned to a black mirror shine. It's a pan, it's a bowl, it's a melee weapon, what more could you need?"
- DelsMagicFishies
"I had so many answers, then I read this.."
"It's just too useful to leave."
- Iyotanka1985
"Proper iron intake is essential for survival. You get iron simply by cooking in your skillet. You may have the best answer here."
- marypants1977
"Who knew, right?"
- crawshad
Fight Boredom
"Books, because hiding out in a bunker would probably get old quick"
- AgentAwesome2008
"Things like manuals, encyclopedias, atlases and even cookbooks hold a lot of knowledge that would definitely come in handy."
- DrillSargeee
"I have an antique pharmacists' guide from the 1890's that I bet would be useful!"
"It doesn't just list how to make medications. It lists how to make things like lotion and diaper rash cream and toothache powders. All types of daily things."
- Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly
"Nice one. Cabin fever might be the intro to full-blown mental breakdown."
- sbenzanzenwan
Unibrow Or Not, Useful .
"Tweezers… I know that’s not a kitchen thing… but they come in handy from splinters to unibrows. As for an actual kitchen thing, perhaps a sturdy pot and sharp knife (weapons and food prep)."
- slarock12
"I'm letting my unibrow go if we get to post-apocolypse. (Tweezers are super useful though)"
- TerpeneTiger
"So many medical uses for tweezers! You can perform a minor surgery with tweezers and a sharp knife."
- marypants1977
Multi-Tool
"A Leatherman multi-tool."
- AnusEinstein
"We called them diggits in the navy. I always have one on me and my wife got me an upgraded one last birthday."
- bluishgreyish
"Good to know. I just bought my boyfriend one for his birthday."
- DrunkAtBurgerKing
"Ha ! Was here for saying that. It's a tool with a range of uses beyond imagination."
- OnTheGoodSideofLife
knife tools GIF by Kaho YoshidaGiphyScales
"A scale."
"Weights and measures are often overlooked in dystopian fiction. But they form the very basis of early/emerging economies. Having a reliable scale means you can conduct trade and bartering effectively and consistently."
- AudibleNod
"Especially an analogue scale. Digital scales will eventually need rechargeable batteries and a screen replacement."
- aggie_fan
"God damn. You just blew my mind. Never once thought of this, thank you"
- SkyWizarding
"Especially if we go back to precious metal dependence"
- 72MinuetsOfFame
"I have a feeling you're going to be dosing medicinal herbs before you conduct trade."
"Or mixing up saltpeter, sulfur and charcoal."
"But good answer 👍"
- stevolutionary7
Buy Or Harvest , Vitamin C
"Vitamin C"
"Humans cannot produce it but need it. Depending on what SHTF scenario, transportation might be impacted, meaning no fresh foods and no vitamin c until you can grow something. Some cheap vitamin c tabs could prevent issues due to vitamin c deficiency"
- slider728
"Nettles make a wonderful spring tonic due to all of the needed chemicals they contain. People used to make a tea with nettles and peppermint (it's really tasty too) to help recover after a long winter."
- LightOtter
"I don't know where you live but in my area most people have dozens of plants that contain high concentrations of vitamin C right in their yards, and many can be harvested year round"
- BigBoiArmrest684
"Birch bark tea/sap fixes that issue."
- minnymins32
Knife
"Good quality knives."
- bumpy-ride
"Knife sharpener too"
- BridgetheDivide
"This is the only good answer here. People think perishables and medicines will matter. Those things only matter in society because we continue to replace them. In the apocalypse, they are only stop-gaps."
"They buy you time but they solve nothing. You will eventually run out of them and you will be back at square one. Everyone here is also assuming the incredible privilege of sheltering in place. In a true apocalypse, nowhere is safe. You will have to be a nomad or be incredibly lucky to find a tiny oasis of civilization. Even then, there won't be anything remotely resembling modern drug production or agriculture."
"The only people surviving the apocalypse are the people already living like they're in one. (Not me)."
- Xylosoxidans
raul julia GIFGiphyWell, we're certainly going to add some of these items to our bug out bags if Z-day every does come.
Do you have something to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user tzhumanbean asked:
"What's your biggest flex?"
So listen, just for a minute, forget everything in you that wants to be humble. Toot your own horn. Brag about whatever seemingly-silly thing you're amazing at.
If you need some inspiration, Reddit will go first.
Balance Champ
"You know the game at the carnival where you climb the wobbly rope ladder and ring the bell?"
"I've won it twice"
- ThunderousBeats
"Nice, I watched a mark rober video about that, and it's supposed to be near impossible because physics."
- SnooCapers5361
"The trick is to only have 1 hand and 1 foot on the ropes at any given time and said hand and foot need to be opposites. Get that technique down and you will win everytime."
- Radicalkoopa
"Or just walk directly up the center of the ladder on only your feet. That's how the people that run the game do it, and it was the only way I could do it as well. I've won twice that way."
- JustABugReport
"What’s the secret?"
- lilfindawg
"I kept my feet and hands close to the edges. I moves opposite legs and hands as close to the same time as possible. Near the top its very hard to balance so I sprinted/jumped for the bell."
- ThunderousBeats
Grampa Flex
"My grandad used to build space shuttles/spaceships."
"The company he worked for would send the spaceships to nasa. The company was doing a private time capsule thing where the workers could send their name to the moon on a piece of paper."
"My grandad wrote my name down, so i’m now on the moon."
- dollsrot
"That is f*cking sweet!"
- Prestigious-Ring4978
"15/10 Grandpa!"
- randomPH1L
"Aw wow 🥺🥰"
- Catbug94
Moon Landing No GIF by Arrow AcademyGiphyRich In Stem
"When I donated bone marrow (stem cells) I had 6 times the normal amount."
"They ran the tests 3 times to confirm."
- Kharn0
"You got more stem than a sunflower"
- mechy84
"So, you're like a potent human being?"
- Cold-Account
"Damn, leave some stems cells for the rest of us."
- YellowCarNoHitBacks
"You’re probably Force-sensitive and should seek a mentor from the Jedi Council."
- AngularChelitis
Literal Flex
"I can flex some muscle in my neck and make myself look like a croaking frog. It scares kids"
- glossyballs69
"Upvoted for scaring kids"
- cephalicrush
"flex within a flex"
- Far-Classic-4637
"My 14 year old son does that to annoy me. Haha"
- jn29
Inflate Pbs Nature GIF by Nature on PBSGiphyFlick Some Cents
"I’m so good at flicking pennies (P E N N I E S) that I can flick them into peoples pockets without them knowing."
- Kitsune_sits
"Dude one of my friends is a phenom at flicking pennies. We worked together 18 years ago at my first professional job. He was the underachiever of underachievers, super capable guy but he was purposefully lazy and pretended to be incompetent so nobody would ask him to do anything."
"One day I caught him flicking pennies across the facility, hitting random people in the head from afar just to cause a stir. He could do it so stealthily that nobody else could tell where they were coming from, but I caught him. I wasn't technically in management at the time, but I was the designated engineer for that department, so I had to talk to him about it. For months leading up to me catching him, we had an ongoing phenomenon of "magic pennies" appearing randomly around the facility. Everywhere you looked, there was a random penny. Friggin' everywhere. This was a high tech facility in the medical field, so random pennies laying around isn't a good look... Management was getting aggravated by it."
"Hey, that's a neat trick... How long you been doing it?"
" 'A long time' *Big Smile*"
"As a friend, I have to ask you to stop."
"Ok, ok, but I have one penny left and it's going to be a one in a million shot."
"Damnit... You need to promise it'll stop. The flicking and the random pennies everywhere, I don't want you getting fired over it and there's a lot of eyebrows getting raised right now."
"He flicked that penny through the air right as one of the warehouse guys was driving through on a tugger (it's like half golf cart, half fork truck). The penny popped the driver right above the ear with an audible WHACK. The driver jerked, turning the tugger and crashing it into three large material hoppers and busting a water line off the side of a machine. This caused 4 production lines to get halted and maintenance called in for about 4 hours of downtime."
"I wrestled with it but ultimately said nothing. The warehouse guy said a wasp must have got him and he did not get in trouble at all. My friend stopped flicking pennies after that."
"Sorry for the long story, I type super fast and it gets away from me at times..."
- crapgarbage
wwe congrats GIFGiphyDouble Flex
"In the 4th grade I won one if my countries biggest math competitions. I can also lick my elbow"
- FriendshipSad1623
"The duality of man"
- arkesko
"Congrats!!"
- itzhumanbean
"Not gonna lie I'm more impressed with the elbow licking. Like how the fuck? Do you have a really long tongue or weird ass ligaments or something?"
- Puluzu
"I’m more impressed by that too."
- SparklyRoniPony
"I actually tried. Could not lick my elbow. Impressive."
- L00k_Again
The Flex We Need
"I’m a marine biologist and my research has been used in the conservation of both sea turtles and whales."
- Myctophid
"That’s the nicest flex on this thread, solely because I have been obsessed with whales ever since I was born. I love talking to marine biologists and expanding my knowledge as well as knowing what I can do to keep whales safe and happy! Thank you for your work!"
- PoutineMaker
"I’m happy that I get to do this work. It’s not all unicorns and rainbows, but it’s pretty cool."
- Myctophid
"real life super hero! keep up the good work"
- christophersbooks
High Five Bro GIFGiphyKicking Some Serious Behind
"I kicked cancer’s ass"
- Quiet_Goat8086
"Now that's a flex that everyone is happy about"
- Narrow_Active5934
"So proud of you!💪 hope i can achieve this as well soon"
- nellako
"F*cking fair play mate, as we would say in my part of the world."
"well done mate."
- Quickbrownfoxjumper
"Lesssgooo"
- Lowgwano
"Long live you! 👑"
- param_T_extends_THOT
Hard Flex
"Throwaway here, I come from former meth addicts. I say "former" because my dad hasn't been using while in prison and my mother is disabled with a heart condition."
"I got a full tuition ride in undergrad, and I'm starting grad school @ Tufts this fall :)"
"Edit: Thank you all so much for your kindness! You guys made me cry. My acceptance was after some time working in human welfare, and being selected to assist in the creation of U.S. policy regarding health initiatives with the feds. I wish I could tell you all more, but I can't be too specific."
"But really, thank you. I'm doing the best I can with what I have, and I'm grateful for all the support. :)"
- Prize_Camp985
"Wow, well done! Just from an internet stranger to another, I felt proud of you while reading this comment and I'm genuinely excited for your future."
- moonlighttravel
"That’s awesome! you’ll enjoy Tufts, it’s a great school and fairly fun location."
- gregrainman314
"That’s where I go! Incredible school, great community, you’ll love it!"
- chartman21
Teacher Flex
"Going into my 17th year teaching high school physics."
"I would bet money that 75% of all students I've taught would put me in their top 3 favorite teachers of all time."
- cesarjulius
"What is it about physics teachers? They were always the coolest, in grade-school and in college..."
"My physics teacher in high school used to play Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and stuff from Dr Demento while we were taking tests. He'd randomly quiz us on song names and lyrics for bonus points."
- crapgarbage
"We had an amazing physics teacher who is a legend, such a hard working dude, used to be very patient with us. After two years of teaching our class, we gifted him an Armani watch which costed like 2400$."
- praneshwar
"Did you bring in your collection of electric guitars, dismantled and have us reassemble the pickups while you lectured about electromagnetism and how strumming induced current?"
"That was an amazing day, thank you Mr. Holzwarth!"
- ThinkIGotHacked
"Thank you for your hardwork!!"
- itzhumanbean
Dab Reaction GIF by NETFLIXGiphyFeeling more inspired to jump in on the participation trophy tsunami? C'mon. You know you want to.
Can you play a dope rendition of Stairway to Heaven on a kazoo? Did you save the day by finding the stray red sock in the load of whites BEFORE you started the wash? What about the time you managed to get all your bra hooks into their holes behind your back on the first try without fidgeting?
Flex your flexiest flex, fam.