If You're Nasty.
GiphyHow often we are called a nasty name for turning down someone's advances. 5nitch
Futon Creep.
My boyfriend and I went to pick up a futon we had bought from a yard sale site, we went to the guys house. It was dark at the time because it was the only time that worked for us all. When we got out of the car to go inside I made a quick scan of my surroundings and made a note that there was a shovel leaned up against the house, and there were bricks in a little garden area.
The man we were getting it from made a joke about being trusting to come at night and it TERRIFIED me, and I was thinking "okay I know where there are items I can use to defend myself at least, if something happens." The whole time they were carrying the futon out I made sure to not take my eyes off the man. Things ended up fine, but I told my boyfriend about it in the car and he was so shocked and said he never even had the slightest feeling of danger or distrust. lander_nedla
Walking Around.
Yeap. I took a creative writing class in college where I guy wrote a poem about how racist it is for women to be afraid of walking next to him on the street at night (he was Latino) and while yeah I'm sure some people are doing it because of his race, I always thought he was missing the bigger picture of all unknown men are a potential threat to women. You best believe I never walk alone next to a man I don't know. kickingboys
Wasted Energy.
The non-stop mental energy we devote to maintaining our safety. In public, at work, in every interaction we have with a man we don't know well (and sadly sometimes also with men we do know well), in our homes, in our cars, on the internet... it doesn't ever stop. I'm not saying I live my life in fear. It's so ingrained that I wouldn't even personally call it a burden but it's certainly additional mental red tape. Every single decision or circumstance needs to be evaluate, often instantaneously. whitezhang
The Climax!
GiphyJust because penetration is enough to get you off doesn't mean it's enough to get us off. Least-Gap
YES! Even my poor husband, bless him, still has trouble understanding this! Like if we do certain positions that don't do anything for my clit, he doesn't get that I'm not going to climax from just that.
He's very sweet and does always make sure I finish before he does - he just gets confused when a position isn't doing it for me lol. thhungryduckling
"Women are like this. Women like that..."
We are not all the same. We have different opinions and taste. I met a lot of Men over the years that think that we are all kind of similar. "Women are like this. Women like that..." No. For example, some Women like shopping, other don't.
If we tried to know each others as persons, things would be a lot better. sonia72quebec
"prove them wrong"
How people tend to automatically question what you say, or address it as though you're unsure or you're asking them. Guys tend to have their words accepted, or only questioned after the fact.
How people tend to automatically undermine or dismiss your authority, regardless of your position.
You sometimes have to escalate a situation that should be minor or not an issue at all. You also have your ability questioned or assumed as substandard until you "prove them wrong."
How your accomplishments will be questioned or undermined. You finally get the opportunity to try and succeed? The standards were lowered. You slept with your grader. You cheated. It wasn't really that difficult, and so on. DC_MEDO_still_lost
BOOBS.
Having big boobs sucks. Okay yeah they're squishy sure and you can bury your face in them because for whatever reason you enjoy doing that but from my personal experience... they are a damned nuisance. Starting from when I was a kid, boys used to try to throw shit down my shirts, it became such a big problem that the principal got involved and that was humiliating. Then in high school my best friend and I were called "the DD twins" that was damn annoying.
Then also in high school I went to get my nails done at some nail salon and the two lady owners wouldn't stop grabbing them, they also didn't speak English well so idk wtf they were doing?!? Again in high school I was top student and won an award. My parents showed up to watch me walk across the stage to accept it and last minute the principal told me I couldn't go get my award because of my outfit. Meanwhile other girls were wearing spaghetti straps. My mom confronted the principal and he admitted it was because the shirt made my boobs look too big.
Wtf!! Also, I have to wear two sports bras to do any exercise. After two kids that were near suffocated while breastfeeding, my boobs now practically touch my knees. I can't ever find clothing that fits over my boobs and isn't a tent everywhere else. The hurt after I take my bra off. If I lay on my back they touch my chin and that's an awful feeling. The list could go on forever. Seriously, they suck. NoSpring4
Commonalities.
GiphyThat women's general motivations in life are not significantly different from men's, and that women are no more of a monolith of motivational drives than men are.
Basically, we're just like you in the brain. With all the complexity that involves. RedshiftSinger
Are You Sure?
Men don't understand what it's like to have people always discourage you from big career goals/undertakings. I am applying to medical school and I can't tell you how many people try to discourage me because "when will you have kids?".... btw, not even sure I want kids at all. It sucks, feels like people think your only value is in being a homemaker
And even if they don't give motherhood as a reason to discourage me, I still get met with ".... wow! Really? You want to be a doctor? That's a big undertaking/very competitive... are you sure?" And I can't help but wonder if a man would get those same responses on the regular
*EDIT: I know medical school is indeed a big undertaking/very competitive and that a lot of males probably get discouraged too. miss_appa
Pills.
GiphyThe pill isn't just to prevent pregnancy. It makes your periods more manageable. Some of us bleed heavily enough to be anemic without it. rapidecroche
Padded....
Pads don't literally attach to your vagina. Christmaspoptart
Just asked my husband where he thinks pads go and he confidently said the wings stick to your thighs. They really have no clue, god forbid he'd have to teach our future daughter these things. EdgarAlansHoe
"ok, got it"
We cannot hold in menses. A menstruating vagina is like an open wound, it just bleeds sporadically when it wants to.
I wish we could just hold it and expel it in one go, that'd be awesome! greffedufois
Is this an American thing I'm too Asian to get? Every male that I've interacted with about periods have been more like "ok, got it". I've even had male colleagues give me pain killers (even tea) when I tell them I have cramps. KoishiChan92
No Fear.
It's not necessarily personal when we're wary or afraid of you-it's the men before you that have shown that we need to be careful. When you're at a physical disadvantage that fear heightens no matter the intentions of the other party. zoeyjax
Don't Follow.
GiphyBeing followed in a car. In my college years I had someone follow me on side streets (my car couldn't handle the freeway so I took a long route home) for almost 20 miles. Instead of going home, I parked in the police station down the street from my house and the guy following me drove away. One of the scariest nights of my life. othybear
Leave Me Alone!
Period cramps and how painful they can be.
Some days I'm literally writhing on the couch from the pain and not even ibuprofin or ice can help. It can last hours and it feels like someone is constantly chewing my uterus with sharp fangs. If I say I'm staying home from work/school for period cramps, I'm not being a wimp. I cannot even think through the pain. It's not every period that I get them that bad but when I do, hooo boy. frostbirb
BOOM!!
The real landmine that is responding to DMs. If I ignore you, I'm a b!tch. If I'm friendly, I'm leading you on. If I tell you I'm married right off the bat, I'm conceited for assuming that you were trying to flirt with me (even if you very clearly were). PixelLaurs
the size of it....
That the threat of being physically overpowered feels very real. Not just in the context of being assaulted, but in general. The lingering feeling that if this dude really wanted to he could kill me with his bare hands. I guess this could be gender nonspecific, but being generally on edge and female doesn't help with the "sizing people up in case they try to lunge a me or something" issue. Just being smaller than anyone sort of puts me on edge, and I've heard from other women they have similar thoughts. hellhoundMcdogpound33
Tech No Support.
The fact that I have to often prove to my male coworkers and customers that I, shockingly, do in fact know what I'm talking about at work. Never mind the fact that I have a degree. It's usually customers, but when they expect a man, they will question everything you try to do to resolve their problem. Sorry boss, I'm not a slow worker, it just takes 2x as long to get the customer to trust me (tech support). Canadian_Toast
Got a Pen?
Giphy- How scary it is every time you go out at night alone, whether it's walking to your car or getting gas
- How expensive bras are. The first bra I've ever had thats been fully supportive was $105. My others, that don't do stuff, are $30-60
- What's with the luxury tax on tampons and pads? How are those luxuries? How are those considered luxuries, but condoms aren't? People aren't gonna stop having sex, but there is no easy way at all out of your period (plus the ruined clothes and sheets)
- Oh and I can't forget about my chronic back pain from 10% of my body weight being on my chest. moistmemes024
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.