Reddit user, Fluid-Daydreamer, wanted us to be open and honest with ourselves when they asked:
"What’s your own toxic trait?"
Admitting you have a problem is an important first step.
You Just Need The Right Motivation
"I ignore things that cause me too much stress, until they become urgent and serious"
EarthExile
"Fear is a powerful motivator, issue is I have to be terrified for it to kick in lol."
"Looking back, I’m amazed how many problems just went away because I ignored them for long-enough. Not the best thing to do but it’s surprising how often it works."
Hughesybooze
Never Let It Go
"I hold grudges and I can be quite petty sometimes."
robotchicken007
"I came here for this very reason. I remember EVERYTHING. I will hold onto things forever. I'm sure this is something along the lines of 'the ax forgets, but the tree remembers' thing for me."
"I remember exactly what was said to me or done that hurt me on X day at X hour down to the X minute, but for you, it was just another casual Wednesday. This has actually made my memory quite good and has come in handy for everyday life other than making me petty."
Jinbell
Unimportant
"I don’t remember things that don’t benefit me"
GentleAnusTickler
"I’m terrible at this too. I actually TRY to commit things to memory but if they don’t benefit or at least effect me, I don’t retain the details."
Standard_Equipment27
Sometimes it's not internal, maybe all of your toxicity manifests itself in the form of how you interact with others that gets you in trouble.
Cut Them Off At The Source
"I interrupt people if I feel like I know what they're going to say. It's f-cking annoying"
devondawsonmma
"I've managed to contain myself from doing this but the problem is that when I figure out / think I know what they're going to say I pretty much "checkout" of the conversation until their finished."
"Or, I'll pre-plan what I'm going to talk about when they're done which basically is nodding my head and pretending I'm listening all the while thinking about other things or different responses."
"I don't like that I do this and sometimes I have to concentrate really hard and force myself to empty my mind and focus on the other person but it is difficult sometimes."
ColoneISanders
How Close Is Too Close?
"I'm really bad at keeping up with people I'm genuinely interested in getting to know, and when on occasion I succeed, I can't help but feel I'm being creepy"
maleorderbride
"This one gets me. I want friends, but I feel creepy and over bearing when I follow up and text after a few weeks. I can just imagine then looking at their phone and thinking, 'how can I let this conversation die quickly so I don’t hurt her feelings, and also don’t have to talk to her'.”
"I can’t help but feel this is a symptom of social media. Our interactions are all over media’s, and personal interactions outside those platforms feels invasive."
Ok-Second1272
Can Never Rely On Others
"I never ask for help because I think i can do everything myself, and i insist that i can do it even though i cant"
RGNlingling
"I'm right there with you. The only exception being not because I think I can do it myself, but because I have to, if that makes sense. Like, I've never been able to rely on anyone's help because I just have to figure it out for myself, or else I'm a failure and feel judged."
"It's caused a ton of stress in life. But on the other hand I've been able to pull myself out of sh-tty situations and have a little pride in that. But I don't think it's necessarily healthy. Life is tough and it takes its toll when you do it alone."
mykoconnor
Then there's everything else, the walls we have to overcome and crawl over everyday to be the best version of ourselves we can.
Knowing Is Not The Same As Doing
"My toxic trait is thinking that my self-awareness of my toxic traits cancels them out"
VaginalSharknado
"It took me a while to realize that "being self aware" doesn't mean sh-t if you do nothing about it."
Victor0Chavez
Everything Sets You Off
"i’m very irritable and that really pisses me off!"
squarefan80
"I feel this one hard. The worst part is that as I get older, I realize that’s it rarely to do with the other person/situation but just my own anxieties playing out in unhealthy ways"
loggershands
Where Do I Fit In?
"I either overvalue my role I other peoples lives, or I self isolate and want nothing to do with anyone"
Kemestri
"I simultaneously have low self-worth and a feeling of superiority to other people."
Exemus
Keep going.
Best way to win is to accept your faults, then do your best to get past them.
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