Here's your pizza! I'm going to run away now.

Thanks to all the pizza delivery people from Tip the Pizza Guy, Reddit, and Quora who shared their story.

1. I delivered pizza for many years. There was a regular who was a great tipper, so we always fought over who got to deliver to this guy. One time he called in an unusually large order and I was the lucky person who got to go. Yay! Turns out he was having a get together and there were a bunch of dudes in his apartment. I saw a lot of little glass bowls all around the kitchen. Then, my jaw dropped. I realized that all the dudes were holding fistfuls of money and that the bowls were filled with beta fish. They were betting on fish fights.

NorDeast

2. Once had a delivery to a house that was in one of the rich neighborhoods. I pull up to the house, drive down a long-ass driveway, and when I finally get to the door, I see an envelope taped to it. There is nothing written on it except Dominos on one side, and leave on doorstep on the other. Inside is enough money to cover the pizza and a $10 tip.

I look around kind of awkwardly, before setting the pizzas on the doormat, and putting the money in my pocket. While Im walking back to my car, I turn back around to look at the house, and lo and behold, the pizzas are no longer on the doormat. I didnt hear a door, and it hadnt been but 4 or 5 seconds since I had turned around. I also notice as I was getting back in my car, that there were cameras all around the perimeter of the house on the walls, painted the same color as the house to blend in. I drove away, pretty sure I delivered to a ghost..

- Anonymous

3. So our shop closes at 10 PM. At 9:55 the phones rings. It's the ring of death. No one wants to take this call, but what if it's the boss? He has been known to pull this on closes.

So I answer and am greeted with an obviously drunk woman's voice asking if we are still open. Now I am intrigued. Drunk and high deliveries are sometimes the best.

(Continued...)

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...So I get to the address, knock, and a woman in skimpy see-through lingerie answers. She falls against the door and then me and asks me to help her to the couch. I move into the room and there is another woman seated at a table wearing even less. The room stinks of pot and a huge bong is sitting on the coffee table. These two are hot and may as well be naked so I am enjoying the show. I ask, "Who gets it?" holding up the receipt and they both giggle and the one on the couch says, "Both of us, hopefully." So I am thinking maybe going back to the shop isn't going to happen tonight. Then I hear a toilet flush and out walks a HUGE man. I mean like 6'6" plus and had to weigh 350 or more. Wearing a woman's pink dressing gown and nothing else. Needless to say, I got the hell out of there as fast as possible. Good tip, though.

Jest28000

4. I'm 21 and I work for a local pizza chain, Pizza Hotline, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. After two and a half years of working part time at this job, I finally have something to tell people when they ask me, "Do you have any interesting stories?!?!" This happened to me last week, May 2014.

It was approximately 3 AM, right before close, and I'm on a delivery in a new area. The streetlights haven't been installed, and so I can't see the house numbers because it's so dark. I call the customer, and she told me to meet her at a location just on the other side of a street. As I wait, I light up a cigarette and turn up Whitesnake on the dial. I'm delivering in my Mustang convertible which I don't usually do but this Saturday night was particularly nice and warm and I was feeling pretty good since my shift was nearly done.

A few minutes later a little BMW begins to pull up, and I breathe a sigh of relief. See, in my area, most of the luxury cars are driven by rich international students, and they usually tip well. So a tiny cute girl comes out and I begin to read her the total on the bill. Instead of listening, she takes a look at my car and me for a moment, and asks if I want to come back to her place for a drink. I tell her I have to do one more delivery and I can come back.

I go on my next delivery, return to the store to do my closing duties, and I quickly zip on out of there and make my way back to her place. Throughout this time, she kept on texting, telling me that she thought I was cute. I knew what was about to go down.

Anyways, I show up to the house, and turns out there are three other international students there. I was hoping it would just be her, but they were giving me beer and cigarettes so I didn't complain. We hung out until 5 AM when the host starts asking us to leave. He also tells me that I am invited to a big party the next night, and that the girl will text me when I should come over. As we all start getting into our cars, I get a text from the girl asking if I want to go back to her place and drink some more. Well, I did go to her place, and a lot more than just drinking went on for the next few hours.

Oh, and she tipped me $3 on a $15 order. Not bad.

- Mustang Sally

5. I was working for Domino's in Agawam, MA a couple of years ago. I had a delivery to a hotel in our delivery area. When I got there I saw two guys standing outside the room. Turns out they were plain clothes police officers doing a drug bust.

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They had me stand outside the door while they stood off to either side of the door. One of them knocked. When they answered the door, one of the cops flashed his badge. Guy had a large bag of weed on the nightstand. Cop made them pay me first before he busted them. No tip of course. Wonder if they ever got to eat the pizza.

- Undercover brother

6. Woman showed up to the door topless. Pretty sure she expected more than a pizza from me.

Alex Schamenek

7. Delivered pizzas in North Dakota and always used to get some weirdos: dirt roads were always a bad sign. One time I arrive at the address in a trailer park, and there is a note on the door that says, "Please come inside, money is on the counter." Whatever, I head in there, and there is a $20 bill sitting there for a $26 order. Great, so I decide to wait, but after about five minutes it's starting to look like a lost cause. I call them up to see what's up, and a woman answers. I explain to her that she's a little short and she says, "Yeah I know, didn't you see my note?"

I told her I did see the note, which is how I knew they were $6 short. "No, the other note. The one on the microwave."

Turning my head, I see a post-it note with the words "Pawn Me" scribbled on it. "You want me to pawn your microwave to make up the difference?" "Yes," she said, "We do it a lot. There's a pawn shop right next door and they usually give me around $20 for it. That should cover the bill and give you a tip for your troubles." I wasn't totally sure if this was legal, but I ventured over to the pawn shop, and he did indeed give me $20 for it. I asked if this was common and the guy working the counter said I was the 4th delivery guy that month to come in with that microwave. Hey, at least I got a $14 tip out of it!

rutgerswhat

8. I work for a Cottage Inn Pizza in a small town in southeast Michigan. Most of our delivery radius involves back roads and quite rural areas. I am a closing driver three nights a week and I've dealt with all the usual BS drivers face: stiffed in crap weather, stiffed on an order placed a few minutes before closing, customer who decides to take a shower during the time I am at their door, etc. But THIS was something I had never experienced before.

About an hour before closing, I take a delivery to an address on a backroad at the very end of our radius (so far the address is in the town over.) Anyways, it was impossible to find one visible address on this street. After several failed attempts of driving back and forth on the block searching for the house, the only driveway I tried was a super sketchy, clearly old and condemned home. And I mean condemned looking like the set of a cliche horror movie.

I call the number on the ticket, explain that I am on their street however having a very difficult time finding their house, and I tried to get some directions from the polite woman on the phone.

After several attempts to understand where their house was at, I still was unsure so I mentioned the abandoned home and asked if it was near that. She says, "Yes. That is next door to us, and our porch light is on."

About 20 yards or so from the decrepit house there is a very small grey house with not a single light on besides the porch light. The driveway is so screwy that I accidentally drove onto the grass lawn.

This home was also very beat up and vacant looking, with the super creepy home built practically on top it. However, it isn't unusual for us to deliver to homes kinda beat up so I ignore this and just walk up and knock. I always do five loud knocks, count to thirty seconds and if I don't hear any signs of movement I repeat this, and after the second or third time around I call up the customer.

I call up the lady again and tell her that I believe that I am at her door and ask if it is the grey home with the red shed nearby. After calling, I get an answer along the lines of, "That's part of the vacant property. We are one driveway over from there." Then it hits me.

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Then it hits me that I AM ALL ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WALKING AROUND A CONDEMNED PROPERTY LATE AT NIGHT.

I'VE SEEN QUITE A FEW HORROR MOVIES THAT SHOW AN ANONYMOUS DELIVERY DRIVER GETTING VICIOUSLY KILLED IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS.

Anyways, I was able to get back to my car and finally found the customer's home. When I pull up there was a friendly looking older man outside. I apologized for the confusion and perhaps breaking the customer-employee boundary slightly, I said, "Jeez, that house next door gives me the creeps. I've seen some movies with delivery drivers not too different than myself in situations like that except I'm not gonna say what happened to them." The man seemed quite friendly and found this funny.

ANYWAYS... it was a $31 order.

He hands me $40 and says, "I really appreciate you coming all the way out here. I know our house isn't the easiest to find. Keep the change."

People like this make me love my job.

- Sameesy

9. I used to deliver pizzas back in high school. One night a call came from the town over from us for just a large pizza. I pack up the pizza, drive over there and notice when I approach the house there are cars lining up and down the street, it seemed like a party was going on, and that's exactly what it was when I got to the front door. I knocked loudly and a girl who was about 17 (remember I was still in high school) comes to the door in her bra and panties, sprays whip cream all over herself and says lick it off.

I'm just standing there with a pizza just trying to make sense of all this. Before I know it another guy from the party comes to the door and for some reason says "I'll give you a $10 tip if you lick this off her" (I was going to do it for free anyways). So I gave the guy the pizza, sucked off all that whip cream, said goodbye and she closed the door. They were happy, I was happy. And that, my friends, was the greatest delivery I've ever had.

klussier9

10. Pizza Delivery in college in Central PA (relevant background information: I'm Korean):

Arrived at the front door of an older couple's house with a large pie in hand. When I rang the doorbell, the woman came out and I said, "I have your delivery." She looks at me puzzingly and says, "We didn't order no Chinese food." Of course, I had to explain that I was just the delivery guy and I had their large pizza in hand.

hanboy

11. There was one delivery I would always make to a house, and a little girl (maybe 10) would always answer the door and pay for the pizza. That wasn't too weird - kids like to pay for pizzas a lot. The orders were sometimes early in the evening, sometimes late.

One evening I delivered a pizza to her, and she didn't have enough money. I suggested she go get one of her parents, and she said her mom wasn't there, and her daddy "wasn't alive anymore". I asked when her mom might be back (thinking she ran out somewhere), and the girl said "Thursday".

It was Monday.

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I said are you sure, and she said yes her mommy's boyfriend lives in [nearby town] and she leaves on Monday and comes back on Thursdays "most of the time". I asked about grandma, any family, friends, etc. - no, no, no, no.

So, I sort of sat there wondering "well, what do I do now?". I thought about giving her the pizza and saying, "here you go, bye".

After one of those "probably only 10 seconds but feels like an eternity" moments I asked if I could borrow her phone (this was pre-cell phones). I called the police and sat on the steps with the little girl until the police arrived.

She talked about her cat that ran away, and her my little ponies, and gave me a friendship bracelet. I noticed her hair and clothes were dirty. I thought about this poor girl just sitting in her house for days at a time completely alone.

The police came, I told them my story, and they told me to leave -- not sure whatever happened to her. No pizza orders from that house anymore -- I would check all of the orders whenever I worked.

- [deleted]

12. I delivered pizza a few years ago to put myself through paramedic school. This was at a slightly lower known national pizza chain in East Valley, AZ. For the most part it was a blast and I made a lot of good friends, made some decent money, and honestly miss those days. I have a million stories from those days but the best ones have already been told here: naked girl sleepovers, swinger couple offering to "tip" me in other ways, and armed robbery. The ones that stand out to me after the extreme things are all of the 12-15 year olds put in charge of handling the money transaction for the parents.

I delivered a few pies to a home well out of our delivery area. I took the phone order and told the mother that she was out of the area but since it was a slow night and I was the driver I would do it, but not to expect this treatment every time. She was very happy and thanked me profusely.

So after a 20 minute drive I rang the doorbell and was greeted to a 12 year old kid. I told him the total was $19.76 and noticed he was holding 3 $10 bills. The kid was slick with his mom doing dishes about 10 feet behind him and looked back at her a few times before handing me 2 of the $10s and slipping the last one into his pocket.

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"That's $20 little man," I said loudly enough for the mom to hear. "Would you like your 24 cents back?"

The kid turned ghost white. Mom noticed what happened and immediately gave him a tongue lashing, and handed me the extra 10 saying, "God bless you for making such a far trip."

- PizzaMedic

13. I worked at a chain store in Baltimore, MD during college. I once had a horrendous customer and never forgot her address. She ordered four pizzas that were part of a $5.99 each special but then called back 5 minutes later to complain that her bill was too high. After explaining to her that the total was in fact correct, she told me to cancel two of the pizzas (which were already halfway through the oven.) I got stuck taking the order so I prepared myself for the inevitable no-tip.

When I got to her apartment, rap music was blasting and I had to bang on the door for at least two minutes. Finally a man answered and told me he would go get the girls who ordered the pizza. A raggedy looking woman came and grabbed the pizzas out of my hand. She said, "I better go make sure you didn't mess these up!" and went away. Another man came and stood in the doorway and started chatting with me. After a few minutes, I asked them if they could go get the person who paid for the food to sign for it. Suddenly a large woman appeared at the door and started screaming at the two men to "stop talking to the stupid pizza guy!" as she snatched the pen and receipt out of my hand. She threw the pen back at me, hitting me in the chest, and slammed the door in my face. I pissed all over her doorknob before I left.

- Eric