Here's your pizza! I'm going to run away now.
Thanks to all the pizza delivery people from Tip the Pizza Guy, Reddit, and Quora who shared their story.
1. I delivered pizza for many years. There was a regular who was a great tipper, so we always fought over who got to deliver to this guy. One time he called in an unusually large order and I was the lucky person who got to go. Yay! Turns out he was having a get together and there were a bunch of dudes in his apartment. I saw a lot of little glass bowls all around the kitchen. Then, my jaw dropped. I realized that all the dudes were holding fistfuls of money and that the bowls were filled with beta fish. They were betting on fish fights.
2. Once had a delivery to a house that was in one of the rich neighborhoods. I pull up to the house, drive down a long-ass driveway, and when I finally get to the door, I see an envelope taped to it. There is nothing written on it except Dominos on one side, and leave on doorstep on the other. Inside is enough money to cover the pizza and a $10 tip.
I look around kind of awkwardly, before setting the pizzas on the doormat, and putting the money in my pocket. While Im walking back to my car, I turn back around to look at the house, and lo and behold, the pizzas are no longer on the doormat. I didnt hear a door, and it hadnt been but 4 or 5 seconds since I had turned around. I also notice as I was getting back in my car, that there were cameras all around the perimeter of the house on the walls, painted the same color as the house to blend in. I drove away, pretty sure I delivered to a ghost..
3. So our shop closes at 10 PM. At 9:55 the phones rings. It's the ring of death. No one wants to take this call, but what if it's the boss? He has been known to pull this on closes.
So I answer and am greeted with an obviously drunk woman's voice asking if we are still open. Now I am intrigued. Drunk and high deliveries are sometimes the best.
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...So I get to the address, knock, and a woman in skimpy see-through lingerie answers. She falls against the door and then me and asks me to help her to the couch. I move into the room and there is another woman seated at a table wearing even less. The room stinks of pot and a huge bong is sitting on the coffee table. These two are hot and may as well be naked so I am enjoying the show. I ask, "Who gets it?" holding up the receipt and they both giggle and the one on the couch says, "Both of us, hopefully." So I am thinking maybe going back to the shop isn't going to happen tonight. Then I hear a toilet flush and out walks a HUGE man. I mean like 6'6" plus and had to weigh 350 or more. Wearing a woman's pink dressing gown and nothing else. Needless to say, I got the hell out of there as fast as possible. Good tip, though.
4. I'm 21 and I work for a local pizza chain, Pizza Hotline, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. After two and a half years of working part time at this job, I finally have something to tell people when they ask me, "Do you have any interesting stories?!?!" This happened to me last week, May 2014.
It was approximately 3 AM, right before close, and I'm on a delivery in a new area. The streetlights haven't been installed, and so I can't see the house numbers because it's so dark. I call the customer, and she told me to meet her at a location just on the other side of a street. As I wait, I light up a cigarette and turn up Whitesnake on the dial. I'm delivering in my Mustang convertible which I don't usually do but this Saturday night was particularly nice and warm and I was feeling pretty good since my shift was nearly done.
A few minutes later a little BMW begins to pull up, and I breathe a sigh of relief. See, in my area, most of the luxury cars are driven by rich international students, and they usually tip well. So a tiny cute girl comes out and I begin to read her the total on the bill. Instead of listening, she takes a look at my car and me for a moment, and asks if I want to come back to her place for a drink. I tell her I have to do one more delivery and I can come back.
I go on my next delivery, return to the store to do my closing duties, and I quickly zip on out of there and make my way back to her place. Throughout this time, she kept on texting, telling me that she thought I was cute. I knew what was about to go down.
Anyways, I show up to the house, and turns out there are three other international students there. I was hoping it would just be her, but they were giving me beer and cigarettes so I didn't complain. We hung out until 5 AM when the host starts asking us to leave. He also tells me that I am invited to a big party the next night, and that the girl will text me when I should come over. As we all start getting into our cars, I get a text from the girl asking if I want to go back to her place and drink some more. Well, I did go to her place, and a lot more than just drinking went on for the next few hours.
Oh, and she tipped me $3 on a $15 order. Not bad.
- Mustang Sally
5. I was working for Domino's in Agawam, MA a couple of years ago. I had a delivery to a hotel in our delivery area. When I got there I saw two guys standing outside the room. Turns out they were plain clothes police officers doing a drug bust.
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They had me stand outside the door while they stood off to either side of the door. One of them knocked. When they answered the door, one of the cops flashed his badge. Guy had a large bag of weed on the nightstand. Cop made them pay me first before he busted them. No tip of course. Wonder if they ever got to eat the pizza.
- Undercover brother
6. Woman showed up to the door topless. Pretty sure she expected more than a pizza from me.
7. Delivered pizzas in North Dakota and always used to get some weirdos: dirt roads were always a bad sign. One time I arrive at the address in a trailer park, and there is a note on the door that says, "Please come inside, money is on the counter." Whatever, I head in there, and there is a $20 bill sitting there for a $26 order. Great, so I decide to wait, but after about five minutes it's starting to look like a lost cause. I call them up to see what's up, and a woman answers. I explain to her that she's a little short and she says, "Yeah I know, didn't you see my note?"
I told her I did see the note, which is how I knew they were $6 short. "No, the other note. The one on the microwave."
Turning my head, I see a post-it note with the words "Pawn Me" scribbled on it. "You want me to pawn your microwave to make up the difference?" "Yes," she said, "We do it a lot. There's a pawn shop right next door and they usually give me around $20 for it. That should cover the bill and give you a tip for your troubles." I wasn't totally sure if this was legal, but I ventured over to the pawn shop, and he did indeed give me $20 for it. I asked if this was common and the guy working the counter said I was the 4th delivery guy that month to come in with that microwave. Hey, at least I got a $14 tip out of it!
8. I work for a Cottage Inn Pizza in a small town in southeast Michigan. Most of our delivery radius involves back roads and quite rural areas. I am a closing driver three nights a week and I've dealt with all the usual BS drivers face: stiffed in crap weather, stiffed on an order placed a few minutes before closing, customer who decides to take a shower during the time I am at their door, etc. But THIS was something I had never experienced before.
About an hour before closing, I take a delivery to an address on a backroad at the very end of our radius (so far the address is in the town over.) Anyways, it was impossible to find one visible address on this street. After several failed attempts of driving back and forth on the block searching for the house, the only driveway I tried was a super sketchy, clearly old and condemned home. And I mean condemned looking like the set of a cliche horror movie.
I call the number on the ticket, explain that I am on their street however having a very difficult time finding their house, and I tried to get some directions from the polite woman on the phone.
After several attempts to understand where their house was at, I still was unsure so I mentioned the abandoned home and asked if it was near that. She says, "Yes. That is next door to us, and our porch light is on."
About 20 yards or so from the decrepit house there is a very small grey house with not a single light on besides the porch light. The driveway is so screwy that I accidentally drove onto the grass lawn.
This home was also very beat up and vacant looking, with the super creepy home built practically on top it. However, it isn't unusual for us to deliver to homes kinda beat up so I ignore this and just walk up and knock. I always do five loud knocks, count to thirty seconds and if I don't hear any signs of movement I repeat this, and after the second or third time around I call up the customer.
I call up the lady again and tell her that I believe that I am at her door and ask if it is the grey home with the red shed nearby. After calling, I get an answer along the lines of, "That's part of the vacant property. We are one driveway over from there." Then it hits me.
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Then it hits me that I AM ALL ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WALKING AROUND A CONDEMNED PROPERTY LATE AT NIGHT.
I'VE SEEN QUITE A FEW HORROR MOVIES THAT SHOW AN ANONYMOUS DELIVERY DRIVER GETTING VICIOUSLY KILLED IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS.
Anyways, I was able to get back to my car and finally found the customer's home. When I pull up there was a friendly looking older man outside. I apologized for the confusion and perhaps breaking the customer-employee boundary slightly, I said, "Jeez, that house next door gives me the creeps. I've seen some movies with delivery drivers not too different than myself in situations like that except I'm not gonna say what happened to them." The man seemed quite friendly and found this funny.
ANYWAYS... it was a $31 order.
He hands me $40 and says, "I really appreciate you coming all the way out here. I know our house isn't the easiest to find. Keep the change."
People like this make me love my job.
9. I used to deliver pizzas back in high school. One night a call came from the town over from us for just a large pizza. I pack up the pizza, drive over there and notice when I approach the house there are cars lining up and down the street, it seemed like a party was going on, and that's exactly what it was when I got to the front door. I knocked loudly and a girl who was about 17 (remember I was still in high school) comes to the door in her bra and panties, sprays whip cream all over herself and says lick it off.
I'm just standing there with a pizza just trying to make sense of all this. Before I know it another guy from the party comes to the door and for some reason says "I'll give you a $10 tip if you lick this off her" (I was going to do it for free anyways). So I gave the guy the pizza, sucked off all that whip cream, said goodbye and she closed the door. They were happy, I was happy. And that, my friends, was the greatest delivery I've ever had.
10. Pizza Delivery in college in Central PA (relevant background information: I'm Korean):
Arrived at the front door of an older couple's house with a large pie in hand. When I rang the doorbell, the woman came out and I said, "I have your delivery." She looks at me puzzingly and says, "We didn't order no Chinese food." Of course, I had to explain that I was just the delivery guy and I had their large pizza in hand.
11. There was one delivery I would always make to a house, and a little girl (maybe 10) would always answer the door and pay for the pizza. That wasn't too weird - kids like to pay for pizzas a lot. The orders were sometimes early in the evening, sometimes late.
One evening I delivered a pizza to her, and she didn't have enough money. I suggested she go get one of her parents, and she said her mom wasn't there, and her daddy "wasn't alive anymore". I asked when her mom might be back (thinking she ran out somewhere), and the girl said "Thursday".
It was Monday.
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I said are you sure, and she said yes her mommy's boyfriend lives in [nearby town] and she leaves on Monday and comes back on Thursdays "most of the time". I asked about grandma, any family, friends, etc. - no, no, no, no.
So, I sort of sat there wondering "well, what do I do now?". I thought about giving her the pizza and saying, "here you go, bye".
After one of those "probably only 10 seconds but feels like an eternity" moments I asked if I could borrow her phone (this was pre-cell phones). I called the police and sat on the steps with the little girl until the police arrived.
She talked about her cat that ran away, and her my little ponies, and gave me a friendship bracelet. I noticed her hair and clothes were dirty. I thought about this poor girl just sitting in her house for days at a time completely alone.
The police came, I told them my story, and they told me to leave -- not sure whatever happened to her. No pizza orders from that house anymore -- I would check all of the orders whenever I worked.
12. I delivered pizza a few years ago to put myself through paramedic school. This was at a slightly lower known national pizza chain in East Valley, AZ. For the most part it was a blast and I made a lot of good friends, made some decent money, and honestly miss those days. I have a million stories from those days but the best ones have already been told here: naked girl sleepovers, swinger couple offering to "tip" me in other ways, and armed robbery. The ones that stand out to me after the extreme things are all of the 12-15 year olds put in charge of handling the money transaction for the parents.
I delivered a few pies to a home well out of our delivery area. I took the phone order and told the mother that she was out of the area but since it was a slow night and I was the driver I would do it, but not to expect this treatment every time. She was very happy and thanked me profusely.
So after a 20 minute drive I rang the doorbell and was greeted to a 12 year old kid. I told him the total was $19.76 and noticed he was holding 3 $10 bills. The kid was slick with his mom doing dishes about 10 feet behind him and looked back at her a few times before handing me 2 of the $10s and slipping the last one into his pocket.
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"That's $20 little man," I said loudly enough for the mom to hear. "Would you like your 24 cents back?"
The kid turned ghost white. Mom noticed what happened and immediately gave him a tongue lashing, and handed me the extra 10 saying, "God bless you for making such a far trip."
13. I worked at a chain store in Baltimore, MD during college. I once had a horrendous customer and never forgot her address. She ordered four pizzas that were part of a $5.99 each special but then called back 5 minutes later to complain that her bill was too high. After explaining to her that the total was in fact correct, she told me to cancel two of the pizzas (which were already halfway through the oven.) I got stuck taking the order so I prepared myself for the inevitable no-tip.
When I got to her apartment, rap music was blasting and I had to bang on the door for at least two minutes. Finally a man answered and told me he would go get the girls who ordered the pizza. A raggedy looking woman came and grabbed the pizzas out of my hand. She said, "I better go make sure you didn't mess these up!" and went away. Another man came and stood in the doorway and started chatting with me. After a few minutes, I asked them if they could go get the person who paid for the food to sign for it. Suddenly a large woman appeared at the door and started screaming at the two men to "stop talking to the stupid pizza guy!" as she snatched the pen and receipt out of my hand. She threw the pen back at me, hitting me in the chest, and slammed the door in my face. I pissed all over her doorknob before I left.
Books are life. Recently studies have been published that reading for fun, reading for knowledge, just interest in reading in general is down, and that is a tragedy.
We've become too obsessed with our binge watching and ADHD mindset that we've lost focus on one of life's greatest joys... literature.
There are some stories and books that should be a mandatory read for life. There should be age benchmarks that require knowledge of certain books in order to progress. I know, how "1984" of me. ;)
Redditor u/bugtanks33d wanted to hear about what literature we should all be familiar with sooner than later by asking:
What's a book everyone should read at least once in their lives?
One of my favorite books is "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." It was a key element in unlocking what I could see with my imagination. No adolescent should go beyond sixth grade without knowing it. What else?
"ANNOUNCEMENT FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE READING THIS THREAD:"
"MANY OF THE BOOKS MENTIONED HERE ARE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND IN AUDIO BOOK FORM. GO THROUGH YOUTUBE/RANDOMHOUSE/AUDIBLE/OVERDRIVE FOR ALL THE CLASSICAL GOODNESS YOU WANT."
"It almost totally eliminates the financial/time commitment that many will cite for not picking them up. I listen to books on double speed all the damn time. I am working my way through "A Tale of Two Cities" now."
Meaningwondering simon cowell GIF by X Factor GlobalGiphy
"Man's search for meaning - Viktor Frankl."
"The Phantom Tollbooth."
"Milo: "Many of the things I'm supposed to know seem so useless that I can't see the purpose of learning them at all."
"Princess of Sweet Rhyme: "...what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover the wonderful secrets of tomorrow."
"Johnny's Got His Gun. It's so intense, but it's so good. Metallica's song One is based off this book. Guy has his arms and legs blown off, goes blind and deaf, and is left to live like that. I only read it once, but it's forever engrained into my memory. It hits you like a freight train."
"Surprised I haven't seen it here already so I'll add it... The Brother's Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. In Slaughterhouse 5 Vonnegut said it could teach everything that we needed to know about life, except that wasn't enough anymore."
"If the only thing that book did was make you marvel at how people centuries and oceans removed from you in time and place, could experience the exact same emotions about life as you did, it would be worth the read. There's so much more to it, but Dostoyevsky had such a knack for digging deep into universal human experience. And it's just a hell of a good story too."
Classicsdiva read GIFGiphy
"Speaking as somebody who isn't religious, the literary value of the Bible (and the Hebrew Bible) is severely underrated."
I took a class on it in college, with a prof who'd once allegedly gotten into a bar fight over Beowulf. We would sometimes spend half a class discussing a single verse or two because there's so much stuff going on under the hood."
I know so many of those. And sadly, I'm already behind in my studies. I love books and I'm always on the path to find more to consume. Let me ready my already lengthy list.
WARWar Shockwave GIFGiphy
"All Quiet on the Western Front. Everyone should have to reckon with the reality of what war actually means."
"Night, by Elie Wiezel. It is absolutely heartwrecking , and I hated every moment of reading it, which is exactly the effect it is supposed to have."
"Came here looking for this one. I had to read it back in high school and it blew me away how moved I was by it. Stories like his need to be remembered for all time, no matter how hard it is to get through (emotionally-speaking; it's actually quite an easy and short read). I'm so grateful that my English teacher assigned it."
"The Westing Game."
"A Librarian here, such a terrific book. I have gotten so many kids to read it by hooking them with the fact that the reader can play the game and has all of the clues. And good luck as it is fiendishly clever."
All the Good Crazy
"The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Such a great book."
"Oh my god yes. I love this book for being the sex, drugs and rock and roll of the classics world. It is lengthy but has revenge, treasure, plots and schemes and drugs. There is nothing stuffy about this classic."
"The Giver- that book made my 9-10 year old mind really think about what was important in society. It was the first time the idea of "good" things having a negative consequence was presented to me. I think what makes it work is that we are learning how this whole society really works along side a character who has lived in it his whole life."
"As the facade of the utopian society begins to fall away to show devastating consequences of the "perfect life and society" the reader not only feels their shock but the main character's shock. This was a book I read in school 4 times- once in 5th grade and once in 10th for English and then in both high school and college sociology classes. This book written for 9-13 year olds made for great discussions."
Good and Bad of Liferead ford GIFGiphy
"The Grapes of Wrath and/or Of Mice and Men. Both are heartbreaking, but not for the sake of being heartbreaking - instead they provide a glimpse of how freaking hard life can be, but also how beautiful it can be."
That is a lot of good advice. And a lot of great storytelling and advice giving. Did anyone miss anything that should be there? And make sure you read anything by Harlan Coben, he's a fav.
It's always our high school dreams, as shown by every high school teen movie ever, to marry the popular girl or the jock. But high school is high school for a reason; life does not really last outside of the walls of high school in the way it did within.
Jocks tend to fall off their athletic bandwagons. The popular girls have a hell of a time making their way in the working world when their popularity means nothing. People's lives sometimes completely freeze in place.
Or sometimes those people really do completely change, and live their lives for the better.
Here were some of those answers.
"My mom was the elite Atlanta debutante and lived a very cushy life at a budding Miami country club. Beautiful and very popular at the private school. My dad grew up on a farm in Virginia. They weren't poor but they were definitely not refined."
"Eventually my father's family made it down to Miami after selling the farm. He became the lifeguard at the country club pool where my mom spent days lounging about."
"My parents say they saw each other and that was it. The scandal was great - the debutante and the lowly lifeguard...."
"They just celebrated 54 years of marriage. My 'lowly' lifeguard father made quite the life for my mom regardless of what all those elite twats said was going to happen."
"She gladly left the country club life for him and they are still so utterly in love it's crazy. He carries a photo of her at the pool where they met. The only references she makes to being 'that girl' are that they proved everyone wrong."
"They are beautiful and I love their story."-wadinglimpkin
Just Because He's Hot Don't Mean He Can't Be Smart Too
"Not me but my mom married my dad who who was hot sh*t. They met in college when he was an absolute hellion."
"But since then he became a doctor, still a really fun dude. He's also a licensed contractor so when he was bored he built a 6000 square foot barn in our backyard over 10 years completely on his own."
"Absolutely stand up dude."-GravityMyGuy
"I married the cool girl. Super athletic, everyone was her friend. We started dating in high school."
"She's kept up everything people loved about her. Nowadays she isn't as interested in other people, and focuses on herself, her career, us and our future."
"We're planning to buy a house and have kids soon. I'm the breadwinner today but I'm not so sure if that'll be true in a few years lol"-WakeAndVape
See, not all the cool kids go on to have horrible, boring lives after. Sometimes the cool kids were cool because they deserved it.
"As it turned out, I married one of the mean girls, didn't go to her school, didn't find out she was considered that until after the divorce. That's how it turned out."
"Then I dated one of the cool chicks. Did go to her school, did know she was considered that. And she was the most amazing human being I've ever known. That one didn't work out either."
"Now I'm just retired from relationships for a bit, strike 3 would kill me right now."
"This was very therapeutic. I have friends and family that are awesome. Hopefully, I'll have more Someday. For now it's me and my kids I'm focusing on."-read110
A Tale Of Strength (On The Outside)
"My mom was the cool girl all through high school, undergrad, grad school. But life didn't go that well. For most of her life, she had to be caring for someone in the family who was ill, and that took a huge toll on her."
"First it was her dad, then it was me (I had childhood illnesses), then her in-laws in quick succession, then her dad again, and finally she had to nurse my dad until he passed away from a terminal illness."
"She was meant to be social and have fun, and instead she was forced to be around sickness and sadness for her best years."
"But she is a very happy and mentally strong person in general who made the best of things. She hosted a lot of people and events."
"My house growing up was full of people visiting and having fun. She's very charming and easy to talk to, and has a lot of fans all the time."
"Though, my siblings and I find her social side rather annoying. She isn't like that with us, and she tells us her charming side is just an act, and the real her is the lady who is constantly critical of us 'for our own good.'"
"She likes having groupies hanging around, people who are happy to take her help and be grateful to her. She has very few friends who could be considered her equals."
"She also expects a lot from other people and is constantly disappointed. She wants to be the center of everything. She doesn't know to be a guest at anything, she somehow ends up running every event she's invited to."
"She sincerely believes she's helping, but it's just disrespectful sometimes and when we tell her that, she doesn't get it."
"She likes to dominate everything and make decisions for everyone. We joke that if the prime minister was her friend, she'd somehow end up running the country for him."-sensitiveinfomax
Sometimes, Chase The Waterfalls
"My mum was the nerdy girl who got all the As and had zero social skills, and somehow managed to start dating my dad who was the popular, good-looking guy who everyone thought would peak in high school."
"She was actually advised by her family and friends that he wouldn't give her the future she was hoping for. They got married at 19, had me when they were 20, and while they were pretty broke the first few years of my life, he paid for my mum to attend law school, started his own business and 25 years later with 3 kids, they're still so in love and have a pretty cushy life."
"My dad actually met one of the loud voices who told my mum she was making a big mistake marrying him, and she had said how she always knew he would turn out well, which he found hilarious."-samknowsbest8
"Found out recently (30 M) that my dad was extremely popular in highschool from my aunt. I had no idea he was an all-star football player with lots of college offers and was prom and homecoming king."
"Never talks about it, but he's doing well. 2 kids, a dog, and a loving wife, imo he's still winning."-ZoatDGoat
And what counts as successful in high school doesn't necessarily count toward success in later life.
What Kind Of Woman?
"My brother was one of the hottest guys in high school and went on to be a model. He's still cool and hot to many but now he's a bit fat."
"He's my brother so ewww on the hot part in my opinion. But women still swoon and he's so obnoxious. Think Matt Dillon, etc…. Era."
"He got dumped by his model 17 years younger wife for a 26 year old. He has impossible standards and it's making him miserable. He's into these flashy shallow women. Overall he's doing really well and his business is thriving."-RunRevolutionary9019
Always Take The Risk
"I sat next to the popular guy every day pretty much for five years and I was so afraid of speaking to him. I'd watched him and his friends picking each other up and shoving the chosen one into lockers, or chasing each other round into a pile on and throwing their shoes at each other. Typical school sh*t."
"They were rowdy and loud and intimidating, but he was the quiet yet seriously funny one and I crushed on him HARD for years. He remembers me as the little blonde girl who didn't speak to anyone (because I was so anxious all the time)."
"He also protected his sister from some a**holes every break time and she'd come to find him for safety from bullies."
"Should have spoken to him sooner when school finished, because we have the same music taste and we get on well enough now at 26 that we have a 6 month old daughter together, my daughter from a previous relationship and we just got engaged last weekend. I adore him, he's handsome, charming and funny and I would do anything for this man as he would for me."-hospital-flowers
High School Never Ends
"I married the Student Council President/ Prom King. He jokes that he peaked in high school. Graduated 20 years ago. He dropped out of three colleges and hasn't found a career path he is passionate about."
"He hates his job, but he's actually really good at it. He's kind of trapped in it because it would be incredibly difficult for him to find a new job without a degree."
"He's a good husband. He's an amazing father. He struggles with anxiety and some depression. A lot of self-doubt. He's incredibly social and the pandemic hit hard."
"He's put on weight and hates his body. He admits that he worries about what other people think of him and wants people to like him."
"He's introspective and wants to be a better person, but anxiety gets in the way sometimes. He married a theater nerd lol, but we didn't meet until college. I felt a little intimidated by his popular past, but he's very down-to-earth."-madestories
We really want our lives to fit neatly into these stereotypes, but at the end of the day, we are all just people repeating a cycle of wanting more for ourselves over and over again. We can't shove that into a stereotype.
Even the student council president, the prom king, the homecoming queen, and the jocks can't run away and hide in a single identity forever. Life makes you into a more rounded person whether you want to be one or not.
Movies' strong focus on creating drama through conflict inevitably has lead to countless on screen deaths.
Some of those movie deaths occur to minor characters we don't care much about (enter Wilhelm Scream). Nonetheless, they can still pack a punch if the manner of the death was gruesome or sad enough.
On the other side of the coin, a death doesn't have to be spectacular to create drama if it happens to a character we've grown to love throughout the film.
And sometimes, a beloved character faces a gruesome end. That's the double whammy.
Redditor Boston_Strong_CQB241 asked:
"Out of all the deaths you seen in movies, which one really stands out to you as the worst?"
Many Redditors recalled the deaths that drew their intensity from the connection they'd felt with the character who did the dying.
And, yes, sometimes the manner of death only heaped on the drama.
"The soldier in Saving Private Ryan that had the knife slowly plunged into his chest after a hand to hand fight and he was begging the other soldier to stop. Intense."
That Etched Wooden Beam
"The old man (Brooks) who hangs himself from The Shawshank Redemption."
" 'Get busy living or get busy dyin.' "
A Very Different Boxing Film
"Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Almost becoming World Champion, then paralyzed, her family only caring about the money she won from boxing, then having her limbs chopped off because of bed sores that got infected."
"All this just to be put down as a act of kindness like the story she foretold of her dog she grew up with. I will never watch that movie again."
Stoic Until She Wasn't
"Vesper Lynd drowning in 'Casino Royale.' That moment when she goes serene and calm, to a panicky and frenzied last gasp for air.... that really bothered me."
Others were spooked by the pure violence of some onscreen deaths. They could barely watch the gruesome moments when they erupted.
But now they can't forget them.
Slam, Slam, Slam
"That f**king wine bottle scene in Pan's Labyrinth. The casual brutality is so horribly realistic." -- Darth_Mufasa
"My jaw dropped the first time I saw it and it still haunts me. In fact, that movie gave me nightmares for two weeks" -- TheSilverCrystal
"The curb stomp." -- AUTheatreNerd
"American History X. The curb stomp. It haunts me." -- DigitFisher
"Ryan Reynolds getting his insides eaten out by an Alien in the horror movie Life. It still traumatized me."
And some people recalled the deaths they witnessed as children movie-watchers. All grown up now, they still can't unsee those old images.
"That shoe from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it was so happy and friendly and then it gets slowly dipped to death. The smoke and its cries of pain are burned into my mind 25+ years later."
"Artax in the swamp of sorrows. Made me cry so much as kid, Atreyo was so hopeless." -- kirby60
"Don't you dare do this to me right now" -- OmgOgan
Multiple Movies' Worth of Sadness
"Stoick from How to Train Your Dragon 2, I still cry every time I even think about it, and the flashbacks in the third movie just break me, great trilogy. Full of emotion and great everything, best Dreamworks movies, in my opinion"
The worst part is that this is only a small handful of the tragic movie moments that are out there. And we have so many unknown future deaths we'll see too.
It might feel like a challenge to come back at someone who has just insulted you, but it's easier than you think.
What's the most memorable comeback you've heard in your life?
No one knows you like your family, hence why they're usually the one who know the best way to eviscerate you using only their words. Anyone with an older brother and/or sister knows what's going on with these comebacks.
She Can Stay
"My son and his newlywed wife were poor college students living out of state. When I went to visit them I took them to the grocery store and let them fill up a couple of grocery carts that I paid for. As we were leaving the store I said, "Now, when your kids are poor married college students trying to get by, don't forget this". My new daughter-in-law piped up and said, "Oh we won't forget. We're going to tell them to go get grandpa!" Haa haaa haaa...I love that gal."
Got That Sacred "Dad Laugh"
"I don't care if it's self-congratulatory, I'm proud of this one:
"Having dinner with my dad and older sister. I got straight As in school or something, and she's doing the older sibling thing."
"Sister: You may have gotten the book smarts in this family, but *I* got the street smarts."
"Me: The corner doesn't count."
"Dad: *chokes whiles laughing*"
Oh, Good Lord...
"My uncle to my husband. "When are you guys having a kid?"
"My husband. "Please don't ask me about my sex life with your niece"
Like, in public. Where people are. Other people. People you don't know, who might just be going about their day-to-day business, and they just so happen to hear someone being roasted alive?
What's Keeping You Alive, Grandpa?
"Was standing behind these two older adults and this teen girl at the gas station last year. She was on her phone and the guy snapped at her for "not knowing how to live without technology" and without looking up she went "don't you have a pacemaker?".
When The Store Hates You...
"Someone yelled out in a Walmart , "I'm not ashamed of who I am".
"Another voice echoed back, "that's your parents job"
You Would Really Walk Up To Someone You Don't Know And Say This?
"Young pregnant co-worker had a stranger stare disapproving at her in a restaurant, then walk up and say "pregnancy isn't very becoming on you." She replied, "well, being a nosey rude bi*ch isn't becoming on you, but here we are."
And then there's these clapbacks. Unplanned, zero preparation, and with little prior knowledge, there needs to be a call placed to some local medical center with how much damage was done with these comebacks.
If You Pantsed It, Fix It
"My friend got pantsed, underwear and all at a party. Instead of pulling his underwear and pants up, immediately, he just kept going about his business, while hanging dong. Those of us that knew him already thought it was hilarious. The people at the party that didn't know him, looked really uncomfortable due to this dude having his pants and underwear around his ankles, with his wiener hanging freely. Our friend/the host said "dude, why don't you pull your pants up?" Pantsed guy said "I didn't pull them down." Then took his turn in beer pong. The host then found the guy that did pull them down and made him pull our friend's pants back up."
Definitely Seems Like You Got Tricked Here
"When I was working as a bartender one Halloween, I came dressed as an old Western style bartender (complete with mustache and accent). We had the evening split up into a little costume party for kids and families in the earlier hours, and then an adults only costume piss up later on."
"One of the regulars laughed at my costume and said I looked stupid, so I told him"
"You should probably come back after the kids have gone because you've come dressed as a c-nt".
"He didn't talk to me for weeks after that. It was blissful."
That's A Mom Burn! Those Don't Heal!
"I asked my mum out of curiosity what she would do if she found a used condom in my brother's room."
"Her response: "I would remind him that you can't get HIV from your own hand"
"For context, I live in South Africa where HIV is very common"
If you have some ice nearby it might be a good idea to go and grab some.
These burns spread.