People Share The Most Awkward Positions They've Been Put In
If you want people to lie for you, you have to warn them in advance!
My man's got this friend named Chad. Chad isn't his real name, but that's what we're going with for this article. Chad is in a relationship that is ... well ... there's a reason Facebook had to come up with the "it's complicated" status. Nobody is happy, they often go out of their way to avoid one another or are forcing performative affection for the 'gram. One night, Chad decided he was going to hide from LadyChad and told her he couldn't see her because he was spending time with us. He then made up a whole elaborate story about drinking wine (which he doesn't normally do) and overdoing it because he really liked it.
Thing is, Chad never told US that he used us as a ridiculously specific cover story.
So imagine my surprise when I get a message from LadyChad on Instagram (not an app I'm terribly active on as far as messaging and I have literally never spoken a single word to LadyChad at this point) asking what kind of wine I had given Chad because she wanted to go out and purchase several bottles.
Um ... what? So there I am awkwardly staring at my phone already having responded to her "hi" so I can't just ghost the girl. She knows I've read her messages and am actively on my phone. Chad doesn't really talk to me, so I have no idea how I got roped into this, and I'm looking around like "WHAT DO I DO!?!?!"
Babe later assured me this is the sort of thing Chad did to him all the time and LadyChad was probably well aware that he was lying. Still, I didn't appreciate getting sucked into some elaborate Chad-scheme. If you're going to do that to people, you have to give them a heads up! One Reddit user asked:
What's the most awkward position someone's ever put you in?
... apparently the world is FULL of Chads. Get it together, guys. Stop being Chads. Here are some of my favorite responses - edited for clarity when needed. Enjoy the cringefest!
Didn't Know About The Divorce
I'm about to go for supper with my mom's new boyfriend, she's 50. I didn't know my parents were divorced.
The Invoice
My mom sent me an "invoice" for raising me. I hadn't spoken to her in 4 years at this point. I called her to see what was up. She told me that if I don't pay the amount of the invoice, she's going to lose the house she's living in. She lamented that I was an expensive child because I had so many health issues, and how she was owed this money.
I explained to her that I wasn't responsible for my birth or the complications during my birth that she caused. She cried until I hung up, then immediately called me back with stone cold composure and told me I was no longer a part of her family. Big loss there.
Confronted By A Coworker
Was getting a drink at work and when I turned around my female coworker trapped me in a corner. She demanded to know why I don't look at her like the other guys. "I know I'm older than you but am I not pretty?" Luckily another coworker saw us and I just walked away laughing like she just told a joke.
- BigMilk0
Teacher's Erotic Poetry
My high school English teacher read us erotic poetry she wrote about her husband... who happened to be our History teacher.
Five Minutes Of Faking It
I grew up not actively doing religious stuff and I lived in the middle of an aggressively Mormon neighborhood. One day when I was in the third grade I was invited to one of my super Mormon friends house for dinner. I went and her mother asked me to say grace. Being a stupid 10 year old with no idea how to say I didn't know how, I clasped my hands together and mumbled under my breath for five minutes. *five minutes *. I probably would of gone long if the mom didn't stop me.
I didn't have dinner with them again.
Sister or Best Friend?
Right, settle in and grab the popcorn, I've got a story for you. My sister married my best mate from college, it kinda made sense at the time because he had always been around at our house, spending time with my family etc. There were no hard feelings from me, I thought they were kinda cute and a couple. Anyhoo they get married had a huge reception were my parent spent an absolute fortune inviting probably close to 300 people, not just friends of my sister and her hubby but friends of my parents to show off to at how perfect the happy couple were.. Fast forward a couple of years and my sister and her husband had emigrated to a different country and out of the blue she calls me and asks if I can visit. So I pack my bags and go on holiday. When I arrive my sister tells me that she is getting a divorce from my mate and that she has been in a relationship with a lady on the sly for a year. So I've got my sister who now wants me to stay with her and support her through the divorce process and on the other hand I now have my best mate who is absolutely crushed as a male doubting his masculinity (as you would if your wife of 10 years just upped sticks and declared her self lesbian) who wants me to live with him and play video games and smoke pot with him every night.
I went and lived with my buddy. We got high every night, got drunk all the time and shagged everything.
I met my sisters new lady friend and we didn't gel. My sisters partner is almost as old as my mother is and I wish my sister all the best, but I struggle to connect properly with her new wife.
Acquaintance Awkwardness
An acquaintance was crashing at my place for a night. We went out and had a fun night out together, he ends up bringing someone home. I crash while they're enjoy each other's company. I hear the front door open and close in the middle of the night and figure she's gone home.
Around noon the next day, the guest bedroom door finally opens and I hear him walking down the hallway toward where I am in the kitchen. I'm pouring a cup of coffee for him when a FEMALE VOICE says hello.
Turns out it was the acquaintance that left in the middle of the night. He left the hung-over bar-girl in my house. She and I had an awkward conversation while she drank a coffee then left.
- milesmac
A Dramatic Reading
I was waiting in a school office to be interviewed for an Art teaching position in a middle school 7 years ago.
There was another art teacher who already worked at the school in the office and she was trying to be friendly and make conversation with me.
She pulls out her cellphone and asks me my name. I tell her and she immediately logs into Facebook and finds my profile (which I left open to public at the time) and immediately starts reading my profile out loud for everyone in the office to hear.
Grindr Gone Wrong
Talking to a dude on Grindr and he invited me over. He started being way overly affectionate as soon as I stepped in the door. We had the typical "gay dudes about to hook-up chat" where we talk about work and how often we do this, etc. Things soon get hot and heavy. As soon as he was about to penetrate, he had a full on mental breakdown and started sobbing into my chest...
It went on for like 15 minutes and all I wanted to do was to get out of there! All I could do was reluctantly coddle him while he was hyperventilating over his recent breakup. We're both bare-ass naked, I've lost all libido at this point and I just prayed for him to get off me.
As soon as he calmed down, I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life to get out of that house.
Thanksgiving Dinner
My wife and kids and I were invited to her parents' house for Thanksgiving, along with her two sisters. While we were all around the table and the food had been served, sister number one discovered that sister number three was dating number one's ex. An angry, awkward silence ensued. The kids started asking why nobody was talking. Potatoes were passed really hard. Platters were smacked onto the table. Stink eye was amply provided to anyone over 10 who dared to speak. It was quite a celebration of love and family.
Grandma Is An Addict
My Grandmother is currently addicted to opiods. She frequently and often texts me asking me to take her to the hospital, effectively forcing me to tell her "You need to call 911." Even though I am almost always certain it's purely so she can go in and get her high. What's more, she tries to guilt trip people who won't take her anymore, including me, saying, "Oh I can't walk! It hurts so much I can't stand!" Except we all know it's bullshit because it only ever happens within a few days of her morphine refill. Also, the fact that her doctor recommends exercise and PT really doesn't help her credibility.
It's just so awkward having to tell my own grandmother that she's addicted, that she needs to stop going to the ER for things that aren't actually emergencies, and to actually do what the doctor tells her. It's so awful actually.
"Previous Experience"
The guy I lost my virginity to married a friend from high school. That, in of itself, would have been whatever. The awkward part happened when she reached out to me for advice because she was a virgin and was sort of worried about his "previous experience."
She didn't know that previous experience was with me...
After We've Worked An Entire Shift Together
My boss makes me come in the room with her as a witness when she writes people up. It's awkward as f^ck because its usually after we've worked an entire shift together. I always make sure to tell them I had no idea and have nothing to do with it.
When Only One Of You Knows It's A Date
I was a freshman in college and a dude invited me to his place but worded it in a way that made it sound like other people would be there. I arrive in the same outfit I wore to band practice, and the dude opens the door wearing nice clothes. Shirt tucked in and everything. I chill with him, expecting more people would be arriving any minute, and they never do. Eventually a roommate comes out to get water and then goes back to his room. It eventually hits me that the guy is interested in me and this was some weird "date" thing. I was mortified. And in retrospect, it horrifies me that had he had really bad intentions, I willfully walked into a potentially dangerous situation. Luckily his intentions actually were just to chill with me. But I was BEYOND uninterested, and unskilled in the art of leaving places without feeling like I was rude. I think he could tell that I was caught off guard and he felt awkward as well. I mean he was dressed nice and I was in fucking band practice clothes. It was one of the most excruciating nights of my life. We had NOTHING in common and struggled for things to talk about. Cringing as I write this. Ew ew ew ew.
Grandchildren
Was hanging out with family. It was my 3 older siblings and their spouses as well as my brother who just had his first kid. That made me the only one without children. My mom proceeds to go on about how much she loves grandchildren and that I'm next and that I need to hurry up - while I'm sitting there with my girlfriend.
We had never really discussed kids at this point. I sat there having my family focus on me and ask all sorts of personal questions that I didn't want to be answering in front of everyone. It felt like an interrogation.
Oh, THAT Kind Of Tattoo
Was working at a hospital ER as a paramedic and was starting an IV on this old lady who had a thick Eastern European accent. I was finishing up and she made a comment on my tattoos on my arms and she said something about her just one tattoo and of course being friendly I asked what she got it of. She looked me in the eyes and said "Well it was something I didn't want to get" and of course I start connecting the dots and she was just about the right age to have been held in a concentration camp. It got real cold in that room all of a sudden. I had no idea what to say
"A Foot And A Half From My Genitals"
A friend in middle school accidentally kicked me in the balls, and they swelled pretty badly. This resulted in me not being able to walk properly. This worried my mom enough that she had the doc check my junk out.
This wouldn't be so awkward if he hadn't handled my balls and had his face like a foot and a half from my genitals. I was about 14 at the time, and not the "biggest" dude. That's probably the most awkward situation I've ever been in.
Caught Them Both Cheating
I caught my friend and his girlfriend both cheating with other people on separate occasions. I walked in on him and some chubby blonde girl bent over the toilet at a party - his girlfriend is a slim brunette. I walked in on his girlfriend with some black dude while I was visiting the two of them at their apartment. My friend is white and he was at work while his girlfriend was cheating. I promised both of them I wouldn't tell the other since that's not my place and I know their relationship is dysfunctional as f^ck.
The two of them started arguing one day over, surprise surprise, cheating. The both of them somehow caught wind that each other were cheating and they both started screaming at each other over it. I happened to be nearby so they both called me over. My friend said :
"Yo, you know this b!tch is cheating. Tell me who she's been f^cking!"
and she shouted:
"Don't listen to this as$hole. You know he's cheating on me. I know you've caught him before!" then pointed at me.
Neither of them knew that I had caught both of them cheating on each other.
I decided to maintain the middle ground and told them this wasn't my place to speak up. Then I quietly left while they continued to yell at each other. Knowing the two of them, an all out fist fight would have broken out between them so I decided not to say anything. They both ended up cheating on each other 2 more times, found out about both times and are still together for some reason.
Hacking
Was sent by my boss to some people she knew to help with "internet stuff."
I learned on-site they wanted me to hack into their 13-year-old daughter's Facebook account because they thought she was up to something.
"Just Wheeled Him Over"
I had to assist a friend of the family's grandfather with going to the bathroom. His daughter just wheeled him over to me and said "he needs to use the restroom" then left.
H/T: Reddit
Scientists Have Developed A New 'Planetary Health Diet' That Could Literally Save Lives And The Planet At The Same Time
In an attempt to help curb worldwide issues such as climate change, and malnutrition in poverty stricken areas, a joint commission by EAT, a non-profit seeking to transform the global food system, and The Lancet, an old and respected medical journal, has released a recommended guideline for dietary and planetary health.
The report recommends cutting back meat consumption to at most, a burger patty or equivalent a week, and supplementing your protein intake with nuts, legumes, and beans. An increase in veggies and fruits would make up the bulk of your meal plate.
The dietary guideline was established by a coalition of over 30 scientists, researchers, and doctors designed not just with human nutrition in mind, but also sustainability. With estimations that the planet will reach 10 billion people by 2050, scientists are working to figure out how to feed them all.
Additionally, the red meat industry has for a long time, been known to be a contributor to greenhouse gasses, while land conversion for food production is the greatest factor in biodiversity loss. The report from the EAT-Lance commission estimates that through nutrition and agricultural changes from this diet, we can save 11 million lives every year.
That sounds pretty great.
The EAT-Lancet commission lists very specific macronutrient ranges for their proposed diet, from 300g of veggies per day, to only 7g for red meats. However, it's this specificity that is drawing criticism.
John Ioannidis, the chair of disease prevention at Stanford university has praised the growing attention to how diets can affect the environment, but states the commission doesn't represent the scientific uncertainty between health and nutrition.
Dr. Georgia Ede, who writes for the site Diagnosis: Diet, took issue with the report's specific recommendations. Dr. Ede's website makes the case for low carb and paleolithic diets.
She points out the commission says,
"We have a high level of scientific certainty about the overall direction and magnitude of associations described in this Commission, although considerable uncertainty exists around detailed quantifications."
And yet, they recommend 0 to 58g per day of poultry, with a 29g midpoint. This seems very specific.
People are not willing to give up meat so easily.
Still, the report is a good starting point for the discussion we need to have about food's connection to not just our health, but the planet's well-being.
As Dr. Howard Frumklin, head of the Wellcome Trust which helped found the EAT foundation says himself,
"The links among diet, health and the environment are well-documented, but, until now, the challenge of attaining healthy diets from a sustainable food system has been hampered by a lack of science-based guidelines.
"While this report does not have all the answers, it provides governments, producers and individuals with an evidence-based starting point to work together to transform our food systems and cultures."
What should be a discussion is turning into an argument.
If we're going to be able to feed everyone, ensure their diet is nutritionally balanced, and try to curb climate change, it's important that people start talking about the positives and negatives of their current diet. The report provides a sense of context to which people can compare and share their ideas and study.
'Captain Marvel' May Have Just Introduced A New Black Female Superhero Right Under Our Noses
Warning: Minor spoilers ahead.
Nothing is a coincidence in the complex Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Now that Marvel Studios and Disney finally gave a female superhero her own movie, we realize Captain Marvel may have introduced a young character who takes on a more significant role in the future of the MCU.
The '90s-set origin story is led by the dual personalities of Carol Danvers — a U.S. Air Force pilot; and Vers, a Kree from the planet Hala in another life — and becomes Captain Marvel, expertly played by Brie Larson.
Without sounding too cryptic, Captain Marvel is the sum of Carol and Vers, and the complex narrative revolves around Vers finding out about her past.
Captain Marvel introduces us to a varied ensemble of personalities, including a young Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, with whom she teams to fight off shape-shifting aliens called skrulls.
Instead of relying on a male love interest, Danvers has a best friend in Maria Rambeau, played by Lashana Lynch, giving the genre a refreshing feminist twist on the buddy action flick.
But it's Maria Rambeau's daughter Monica (Akira Akbar) who is making ardent fans giddy with anticipation about the character's future.
the future is beautiful and your name is monica rambeau https://t.co/HtNuXrWaZL— captain carol ︽✵︽ (@captain carol ︽✵︽) 1551819911.0
The precocious 11-year-old is, for all intents and purposes, just an adorable, "normal" kid who has ambitions of flying in the Air Force to emulate "Auntie Carol."
Monica's bravery belies her age as she encourages her mother to flee into space at the risk of never seeing her again for a mission involving the skrulls.
But there is more to her intelligence and inherent altruism, and those familiar with the comics are aware of her exciting destiny.
Refinery 29 revealed that the adult Monica Rambeau is just another iteration of Captain Marvel, and she is expected to come into prominence during the supposed 24-year time gap between Captain Marvel and Avengers: Endgame.
T'Challa is in the MCU Carol Danvers is in the MCU Monica Rambeau is in the MCU Y'all we are so close! https://t.co/rilnRAoErT— Raymond X (@Raymond X) 1552076618.0
Monica's origin story includes being a lieutenant in the New Orleans harbor patrol who comes into contact with "extra-dimensional energy" while preventing the creation of a powerful weapon.
As a result, she is able to manipulate, absorb and create energy.
Give Monica Rambeau her things!!!!— Ira Madison III (@Ira Madison III) 1552331197.0
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Monica is the second of six characters to take on the name of Captain Marvel and becomes the leader of the Avengers. She eventually adopts the codenames: Photon, Pulsar and in 2013, Spectrum.
✴️ monica rambeau: captain marvel | photon | pulsar | spectrum reading guide ✴️ https://t.co/etPruwZfbA— val saw captain marvel (@val saw captain marvel) 1552160876.0
The multifarious identities are complex for the uninitiated, for sure.
This might help:
In #captainMarvel they introduce the daughter of Monica Rambeau. Her name is also Monica Rambeau. In 2019 she would… https://t.co/MZMR6Cjcqm— Marc Dirix (@Marc Dirix) 1552071449.0
Fans are keeping their fingers crossed in the hopes that we'll be seeing the black female superhero's destiny realized.
Is anyone hoping that little Monica Rambeau is all grown up and busts into Avengers headquarters to show up the Sci… https://t.co/T56AX95nOC— Liz Nicole (@Liz Nicole) 1552015405.0
I know they didn’t give me all those heroic closeups of baby Monica for no reason. @ Marvel GIVE US MONICA RAMBEAU https://t.co/ECp8TlrPpQ— Eartha Snit (@Eartha Snit) 1552011810.0
Monica Rambeau and all of her code names getting ready for the next phase of the MCU https://t.co/o87qOdsoBo— Child of Hazel and Smoke (@Child of Hazel and Smoke) 1552257376.0
fun fact: maria’s daughter monica rambeau actually becomes captain marvel in the future and becomes the leader of t… https://t.co/pzzVyfHMf7— natasha ☾ | SAW CAPTAIN MARVEL !!! (@natasha ☾ | SAW CAPTAIN MARVEL !!!) 1552208712.0
The #CaptainMarvel trailer didn't do a good job. With this piece, I wanted to be clear that this film is for Black… https://t.co/3hckZUDltH— Jaleesa Lashay Diaz (@Jaleesa Lashay Diaz) 1552069934.0
I want a sequel yesterday. I just don’t know where they will have it. Will it take place in the past? (So much more… https://t.co/taq2pR4NyN— RoboFan (@RoboFan) 1552018976.0
@MarvelStudios Monica Rambeau! #CaptainMarvel I can't wait for her to get her powers! https://t.co/CCQ9P3iFFV— Jason (Captain Marvel did THAT) (@Jason (Captain Marvel did THAT)) 1551802986.0
I also freaked when Maria finally called her daughter Monica and I was like THERE SHE IS, MY GIRL, MY STAR MONICA RAMBEAU— Becca 💛 ECCC Q8 (@Becca 💛 ECCC Q8) 1552063569.0
As we've seen in Black Panther, the emergence of more black female superheroes is encouraging, and the seed planted with Monica Rambeau in Captain Marvel augurs a bright and exciting future for the MCU.
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
As Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Arkansas High School Suspends Student Paper For Publishing 'Disruptive' Investigation Into Shady Football Transfers
Halle Roberts is the editor-in-chief of the Har-Ber Herald, the school newspaper for Springdale High School in Arkansas. The 17-year-old student was suspended after she wrote an investigative piece criticizing the transfer of five football players to a rival school.
Players are not allowed to be transferred to a different school because they would like to play for a different team. They are allowed to transfer only for academic reasons. So Roberts got to digging. Her paper filed FOIA requests and received official information from the Arkansas Activities Association saying that the students were transferred for academic reasons. However, the students themselves said otherwise.
Roberts quoted one student in her paper saying:
"We just want to go over there because we have a better chance of getting scholarships and playing at D1."
Another student told Roberts:
"I just feel like it's better for my future to go out there and get college looks."
Soon after the report was published, the superintendent of the district, Jim Rollins, asked the teacher advisor for the school paper, Karla Sprague, to take the story down. She obliged.
Rollins wrote a letter stating that the piece was:
"intentionally negative, demeaning, derogatory, hurtful and potentially harmful to the students addressed in those articles."
Roberts, undeterred, is still working on a new edition of the story that includes the school's censorship.
Mike Hiestand of the Student Press Law Center had this to say:
"School officials at this point seem to me to have completely thrown up their hands and said, ‘we’re not going to l… https://t.co/PgVYFlVAlM— Amber Jamieson (@Amber Jamieson) 1543687827.0
And Halle Roberts, who dreams of being an ESPN reporter, stated:
“They are like ‘well you raised an uproar, we’re going to try and silence you,’” said Halle Roberts, 17, the editor… https://t.co/6dKFeF0so4— Amber Jamieson (@Amber Jamieson) 1543690272.0
People were impressed with Roberts.
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews I'm so proud of you! You're not just fighting for yourself, you're fighting for student… https://t.co/hjVIvzstZ1— 🌺Lisa Daily is writing⛱ (@🌺Lisa Daily is writing⛱) 1543718652.0
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews I shared your story on my Facebook page and am so proud of you kids for telling the stor… https://t.co/9gekpHSwey— Derryl Trujillo (@Derryl Trujillo) 1543694164.0
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews Keep up the fight Halle!!— Katie Maner (@Katie Maner) 1543762811.0
Some had harsh words for the school's administration.
@BuzzFeedNews @KatinaParon The principal and the superintendent should be fired, not the teacher. And the students… https://t.co/AfE6JTmowp— Jody Beck (@Jody Beck) 1543754569.0
@ambiej @BuzzFeedNews Abuse of power by the school administration— Lovehersports50 (@Lovehersports50) 1543686742.0
@ambiej Hey @sdaleschools School board members. Why are you allowing Arkansas Har-Ber High School Principal Paul Gr… https://t.co/8pdT0St1FO— Nancy Levine (@Nancy Levine) 1543693785.0
And most had high praise for Roberts and the other student journalists working on this piece.
A great example of investigate student journalism, and why it needs more recognition. https://t.co/s4MBLn0HiN— Gabija Gataveckaitė (@Gabija Gataveckaitė) 1543692451.0
Much to appreciate about @ambiej’s reporting on this Arkansas school district’s effort to suppress a high school pa… https://t.co/fIk5vTaWCZ— Pat Berry (@Pat Berry) 1543688372.0
High school students do real journalism, school district immediately tries to shut them down, despite state law gua… https://t.co/HqOgXTv1bl— Jeff Amy (@Jeff Amy) 1543692270.0
Oh this is the good stuff. I love this editor. Great work. Stand for journalists. https://t.co/QlrTTzrqs8— Scott Lewis (@Scott Lewis) 1543693549.0
And Halle Roberts herself closed by saying:
thank you so much. #freedomofthepress https://t.co/LsjWT7nycD— halle roberts (@halle roberts) 1543685392.0
Fight on, Halle!