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Former Homeless People Reveal The Best Ways To Help People On The Street

Former Homeless People Reveal The Best Ways To Help People On The Street

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There are far too many homeless people in America. How the "richest" country in the world could allow even ONE of it's citizens to be sleeping on the street is disheartening. And nowadays more and more children and families are the added numbers on that list of outdoor occupants. Homelessness is something that affects all of us. Anybody can be homeless if life throws you enough curveballs. It's a sad issue that we all can take part is helping fix. Everyone has an opinion on how but it's rare that we actually consult the suffering to find out the best course of action.

Redditor [u/haseo8998][1] asked for advice... [Serious] ex/homeless people, in your opinion what's the best way to really help the homeless? What facilities should each city have for them? Open up your hearts people. There are many in need.

GIVE HELP NOT CHARITY.

The majority of homeless are people you don't see on the street. Families living in cars, people trying to get housing, rents increasing that a family simply cant sustain... I admire San Diego having parking lots dedicated to people/families who live in cars. I also think, as far fetched as it may sound to some, if we give apts to some homeless, with deadlines and goals as we do in the welfare system-- we can help people who are simply in a tough spot. Not everyone is on drugs. Many won't take a hand out, this wasn't supposed to "happen to them." A home provides a sense of stability, their own bathroom. Cooking food. A feeling of safety.

HELP WITH GETTING THERE...

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As a former homeless teen, I needed Transportation (like a bus pass or a bike) to make it to school and my job. I couch surfed a lot as a teen and I didn't have a problem with food offers (I know several people who won't eat in front of others unless they are eating too) but I never took money.

A SOFT COUCH...

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My couch surfing started with some serious mental illness and dysfunction within my immediate family/parents. I saved up money and put a deposit on a tiny apartment moving in with a roommate. I ended up missing too much school and dropping out but I got my GED the summer after I should have graduated. Married at 18 (to a lifeguard who used to yell at me for using the showers at the public pool) and parents soon after. We both worked our butts off and supported each other (taking turns) with college. I now have my masters degree (in Social Work) and 2 of my 3 kids have graduated HS already. (3rd is in middle school now). I honestly feel I was determined to do better on my own but I know it was the support from my marriage that kept me strong.

WORKING HARD FOR THE $$$

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If you know anyone hiring for a job, send them into the homeless shelter and ask for help. Especially if it's an under the table job, 11 times out 10 you'll find help.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOOK...

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A system to rent/lease clothes for interviews and work. I know multiple people who weren't able to accept a job or were fired after a few days because they wouldn't be able to afford the uniform until after the first paycheck. 2) Information on how to obtain safe, affordable (cheap) transportation. A lot of folks who are saving to afford a car have been fired due to unreliable transportation.

HELP WITH NO STRINGS... JUST HELP...

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Don't make services contingent on each other. Some examples. I used to work fairly traditional hours (about 8-6) and I was in a shelter that required me to use case management services to participate. Ok, I can b-s with some college degree for an hour but they wanted me to take time off work in my minimum wage job to go to this appointment during the day. Nope. Not worth my job. Soon as I could, I filled up my tank and moved back into my car. Another example. If someone just wants a shower, don't make them have to move into your shelter overnight. There might be a good reason I don't want to stay there, just let me wash my stinky self and go about my day. Another thing. If I'm sleeping in my car, leave me alone. It's nice to be able to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time before having to move, that life gets exhausting real quick. Don't help me unless I ask for help, police don't need to interfere either unless I am the victim of a crime or breaking a law. Basically be flexible, know that I am a human being who has my own life figured out, know that I know things you don't about my own life, and let me set the terms of interacting with the world to the same extent as anyone else.

EVERYONE NEEDS PROOF OF LIFE...

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Make it easier to get a drivers license. I moved from WA to SoCal and in the process got my wallet stolen with my ID in it. Without an ID you cant get a new debit/credit which equals no cash. Without cards you cant rent, without proof of residency you can't get an ID. Its literally a circle you cant get out of.

A STEADY ADDRESS...

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One of the main reasons the homeless slide further into unemployment is because it's damn near impossible to get a job without a permanent address to give them. I think local businesses are the answer. When you get past the image and stigma, lots of homeless folks just want a job. If the city of state we're able to help businesses with something like tax breaks or whatever to provide min wage work and housing if possible. A restaurant I worked at had a long term dish guy from Mexico living in one of the small studios above the restaurant plus getting a slightly below minimum wage hourly. So many downtown districts have these little spaces. Instead of charging trust fund art kids 2,000/month to live in the attics that those places really are, maybe rent them to people trying to get back on their feet.

A HEALTHY MIND IS A GREAT FIRST STEP...

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I was homeless for about 3 months while I was in college. I slept in the school library during weeknights, and on the steps of a church on weekends. I showered and kept most of my stuff in the school gym. Personally I started drinking almost every night because it's so hard to sleep on the concrete, or under the bright lights in the library without something flowing through your system. A lot of homeless people use drugs not just to cope, but to keep themselves on a regular sleep schedule. It's really hard to get a good night's sleep when you don't have any sort of mattress to sleep on, or have lights shining in your eyes at all hours of the night.

There was a homeless shelter nearby but it's only open at night, and it's first come, first served, so if you have classes or other stuff to do there usually isn't any space left. Plus you have to sit on the sidewalk with a bunch of other hobos waiting for it to open. Expanding the size of homeless shelters could help, but it also has a disparate impact on the nearby neighborhoods as well. No one wants a bunch of addicts lying around doing drugs on their front lawn or in front of their business.

Around half the homeless people I met were homeless by choice and wouldn't take a free home if it was offered. A lot of them traveled around the country, often by hopping freight trains. These people wouldn't take services even if offered. Most of the ones I got along with refused to panhandle because they felt it demeaning. A lot of them actually had jobs, they just chose to be homeless for personal or financial services. I think one of the issues with the public's perception of homelessness is that people assume everyone wants a home, everyone wants services, everyone wants to stop being homeless. A majority of the homeless people I met were perfectly happy living life as a hobo.

However, about a quarter of them had serious, obvious mental health issues like schizophrenia. I'd love to see an increase in services to help these people. I think it would be cool if we could create a semi-assisted living community for these people, allowing them some degree of independence as appropriate, but with supervision from health care professionals, sort of like a nursing home for hobos.

A QUICK RINSE...

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Washrooms. I m not joking here. A bathhouse or simple sanitary measures. Most homeless people look ugly and disheveled because they don't have option to tidy up. A simple bath makes them socially more acceptable and will boost their sense of self worth.

ALL SHOULD BE AVAILABLE...

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They need to offer the option of buying warm food with food stamps first of all. The worst thing was when I was homeless and couldn't even keep any of our food because we didn't have any way to store it or cook it. I could go to a food bank sure, but they gave me 10 lbs of frozen meat and some canned veggies. You have no way of preparing this stuff when you're homeless in the middle of a small town. Not only that, but when you're homeless they actually have the gall to lower SSI and foodstamps because you're no longer paying bills or utilities. Public restrooms and showers would also be wonderful instead of having to wander around at 8am trying to find an open gas station or corner store with a bathroom.

PAGING A DOCTOR....

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HEALTHCARE. If a homeless person breaks their ankle and doesn't have the money or insurance to cover it they're screwed. And then if its not treated it doesn't heal right then they're even MORE screwed. Mobility is key to being homeless.

MORE OPEN SPACES...

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I used to hop freight trains so this will be a bit different.

I feel like I would have greatly benefitted from libraries being open later, because they were one of my number one spots to go sit, read, and use wifi.

Public parks could use more benches or places to just sit and maybe hang out with your road dawgs for a bit

Also, trash bins outside! I don't litter, but carrying my trash around in my pack and my pockets sucked and sometimes trash bins are few and far between

A FULL PLAN...

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I've been homeless more than once. Sleeping in every article of clothing I own because it's winter in upstate NY, USA kinda homeless.

The best way to really help the homeless? In patient mental health treatment, substance abuse and addiction counseling, and basic needs providence - on a time limit.

Transition assistance from indigent to social cog.

Self esteem and employability coaching.

A one year program that reintegrates people into a stable lifestyle is a great start. It's got to be a one-off though. No repeats. It's gotta be assistance, not a crutch.

If I'd have had any of this, I wouldn't have had to fight it out by myself. I wouldn't have relapsed so many times. I wouldn't be afraid or ashamed of asking for help or handouts.

It's tough, in capitalist nations. It's even tougher in countries with no actual backing to their currency. It's the worst when everyone hates the poor.

THE BASICS...

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Volunteer/donate at shelters (make sure they're running well before either one.)

Cities should all have areas where the homeless can at the very least get cleaned up. A way to get a haircut, hygiene supplies (Tampons, pads, soap, shampoo.) a shower, bathroom etc. Understandably a city can't always supply a place to sleep, (yes I know about potential alternatives, but a city can't always get the approval whether its from local politicians or the voters in the area.) But they should do their best to atleast try to help, whether it's simple shelters in parks a person can bunker down in during a storm, a big check in shelter, or a network of volunteer centers.

They should also regularly check in on how things are run, much more than just budgeting and whether they meet grant requirements, but whether or not they're making sure donations go where they should be going, whether or not they're operating under a reasonable overhead, etc.

BELIEVE IN HUMANITY...

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I don't know. I learned nothing from my experience except how seemingly terrible and complex the problem is. A lot of the people I encountered are meaningfully mentally ill or physically disabled enough that I don't think there's any path forward for them to living a fully independent life in the conventional sense, they probably need some sort of assisted living program. Other people are so briefly homeless and otherwise capable, that even calling them homeless is more a barrier for them than any sort of meaningful category.

Most people don't want to give to individuals, because some of those individuals are scammers or else are addicts, so they either do nothing or else give to organizations that provide services that unfortunately are often worse than nothing and incur overheard costs that lessens the impact of the money given from the moment it's donated. I would rather sleep outside then in the average homeless shelter, so giving to them isn't necessarily the answer either.

Though I suppose from all this complexity emerges a certain simplicity, in that, if the government took ownership of these problems and actually allocated any money to them at all, it would probably be much easier to create shelters that actually serve a function. Right now you have a lot of private organizations, competing for funding, which usually involves that they demonstrate they serve a unique function and have a novel approach to the problem in their area. Rather than encourage innovation, this essentially nullifies efforts for groups to work together or consolidate services into a comprehensive continuum of care in the way that a state run program might be able to. Granted many states, including my own, are terribly broke at the moment, which sounds like a good reason not to fund such programs, until you figure in the fact that the absence of such programs is probably costing them a lot of money in a round about way, not to mention the fact that said states have had many opportunities to make millions off of paving the way for things like recreational marijuana and gambling and such, but they drag their feet pointlessly.

Ironically the non-profit sector, at the level of the research and the money, is often very self-serving because nothing can meaningfully be expected to be accomplished with no money except jettisoning a phd students career into a better field, that they don't stay means that the people who do stay, are often not policy researchers, but career bureaucrats who don't value novel solutions and therefore perpetuate the cycle of turning away innovation.

It's the intersection of a lot of human failings, the ineptness of government, the cynicism of the individual, even the limitations of medicine itself. At the end of the day, a cursory look at the globe shows us that in countries where homelessness is not a problem, it's clearly a result of them adopting the idea and the priority that no one should be homeless regardless of their situation or character, which is obviously not something that is embraced in the U.S.A.

Personally, my optimism on the issue does not lie with the conventional social service non-profit sector, but with the innovation of designers and engineers. I think the very concept of what it means to be housed is in flux, and that while a lot of the problems they're facing in redefining the nature of housing, structure and shelter are very large, I'll always bet on the mountain that wants to be moved over the pebble that sure as hell doesn't.

SHELTERS SHOULD BE COMFORTABLE.

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I was lucky to be homeless in a city with the best shelter I ever heard of. It's a huge facility that offers free, unlimited access to showers, toilets and laundry machines. There is an administrative area where anyone can meet one of the social workers there, or register to make the shelter their official address, so they can receive mail. The canteen serves pretty high quality food for free. There is a common area with beds, but also private boxes with a bed and a small kitchen you can rent like an appartement for 90€/month. The team is overall pretty nice. The best part is that you don't need to painstalkingly prove you're really homeless, provide a lot of documents like in other shelters ; in this one, they treat you with respect and offer you food, shelter and support before talking about papers.

I feel like if every city had such a shelter, it'd be pretty good.

BEING PAID WHAT WE'RE ALL WORTH!

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It comes down to homeless people wanting to rejoin society or not. Right now, it's easier for some to be homeless than to live on minimum wage.

The 'Brokest' Things People Have Ever Done

"Reddit user w3stward asked: 'What’s the brokest thing you’ve ever done?'"

A man pulls dollar bills out of his wallet
Photo by Allef Vinicius

When the money is gone... it's GONE!

And when that happens, we have to adjust.

People pivot in order to survive.

Some of us find coupons and discounts galore.

Some of us skip meals.

But when people are broke and still have to keep living, one has to get creative.

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Princess Margaret might have grown up in the shadow of her older sister Queen Elizabeth II, but she didn’t stay that way. By the time she was a teenager, the young, beautiful, and fashionable princess was the talk of the town…and not for the right reasons. From her scandalous bedroom tastes to her tragic end, Margaret’s life was far from a fairy tale.

1. Her Birth Was Surprising

Princess Margaret was born on August 21st, 1930 in Glamis Castle in Scotland. But her beginning wasn't what many people think. See, little Margaret wasn’t actually directly in line for the crown. Her father was a younger son of the King of England, and no one in the family expected to make it to the throne. Well, that all changed—and quickly.

2. She Became Bona Fide Royal Through Scandal

File:King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson on holiday in Yugoslavia ...commons.wikimedia.org

When Margaret was just five years old, her family had a transformation of fortunes. Her uncle became King Edward VIII, but then infamously abdicated in order to marry his love, Wallis Simpson. Suddenly, Margaret’s father was King George VI, and she was second in line to the throne after her older sister Elizabeth. Still, it might have been the worst thing to ever happen to her.

3. Her Mother Controlled Her

Margaret’s upbringing is probably surprising to a lot of people. Although she was a royal and had access to the best teachings money could buy, her mother decided that her daughters would only receive a bare-bones education, since she aimed to make them simply “nicely behaved young ladies". Later on, this had disastrous consequences for Margaret.

4. She Had A Weapon Of Choice

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As a child, Margaret idolized her older sister Elizabeth, and, as we'll see, the two carried on a close relationship into their adulthood. Still, there was a hefty amount of sibling rivalry, too, and the girls often came to blows. According to their governess, while Elizabeth liked to throw punches, little Princess Margaret was much more of a biter.

5. Her Family Hid Her Away

While Margaret grew up in her gilded bubble, dark rumors started swirling. When she was a young girl, people saw so little of her that a persistent whisper claimed she was actually deaf and mute, and that her parents were hiding her from the public. Eventually, the family dispelled the rumors...but it didn’t take long for more to start, and these ones were all too true.

6. She Was A Spoiled Brat

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Growing up as second in line to the throne would turn anyone into a spoiled brat, but this went double for Princess Margaret. Her father King George loved his respectable elder daughter Elizabeth, but he absolutely doted on Margaret, claiming that while Elizabeth was his “pride,” Margaret was his “joy". And soon enough, Margaret's spoiled upbringing started to show.

7. Her Father Indulged Her

People around the British court started to notice just how much the King let Margaret get her way, even allowing the 13-year-old girl to stay up past her bedtime and attend lavish royal dinners. Many aides began to worry about the Princess, especially as she grew into a beautiful, vivacious, and very willful young woman...

8. She Was The Center Of Attention

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By the time she was barely a teenager, Margaret could already walk into a room and light it up. One courtier commented that she was “full of character and very tart". Another noted her burgeoning good looks and how she was "very sure of herself and full of humor,” though also said she “might get into trouble before she’s finished". Well, that trouble started early.

9. Her Governess Tried To Ban Her

Surprise, surprise, Margaret's charm had a dark side. Her own governess, Marion Crawford, thought Margaret was an attention hog, especially when it came to taking the attention away from her more “important” sister Elizabeth. To try to curb the habit, Crawford actually once wrote to a friend, “Could you this year only ask Princess Elizabeth to your party?,” not wanting Margaret to come in and steal the thunder.

10. She Overshadowed Her Sister

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Even Princess Elizabeth admitted that Margaret could take the wind of her sails—it’s just that she didn’t mind it. Elizabeth, reserved and taciturn, actually liked that Margaret was so forceful, colorful, and irresistible. As she once said, “Oh, it's so much easier when Margaret's there—everybody laughs at what Margaret says". Too bad the sisters’ relationship didn’t stay so harmonious.

11. Her Mother Was A Spitfire

As WWII broke out, there was pressure for the royal family to relocate to Canada for their safety. Of course, this didn’t happen. Instead, they braved the danger with everyone else in England. In response to pressure, Margaret’s mother famously retorted, "The children won't go without me. I won't leave without the King. And the King will never leave". Wonder where Margaret got her stubbornness from.

12. She Resented Her Upbringing

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Even at this point, Margaret was chomping at the bit for some challenges in her life. After all, she'd spent WWII inside and away from harm, and by then she felt completely resentful of her mother’s limited education for her. As her acquaintance Gore Vidal later recalled, "She was far too intelligent for her station in life". Is it any wonder she rebelled?

13. She Had A Famous Feature

As Margaret entered her 20s, she was one of the most stunning women in the royal family. She famously had a slender 18-inch waist and “vivid blue eyes,” and her good looks and pedigree got her into the most exclusive circles and clubs in London. Before long, the press dubbed her and her fashionable group of aristocratic friends “The Margaret Set". Then again, they weren’t always just “friends”…

14. She Was A Party Girl

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While out on the town, Princess Margaret gained a reputation as “the world’s most eligible bachelor-girl” for the sheer number of men swooping in and out of her limo on late nights. Her little black book was a veritable who’s who of Britain’s gentry, from millionaire heir Billy Wallace to future Canadian Prime Minister John Turner. Yet as it turned out, Margaret only had eyes for one man.

15. She Nursed A Huge Crush

One constant presence in Margaret’s life was her royal aide, Group Captain Peter Townsend, a dashing war hero more than 15 years her senior. Townsend worked for Margaret’s parents and was their great favorite; many even said that King George treated Townsend like a long-lost son. Well, familiarity must breed romance, because Margaret was head over heels before she knew it.

16. Her Love Was Taboo

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Margaret and Peter’s love story is now infamous, but few people know their scandalous beginnings. The palace first employed Peter when Margaret was just 13 years old, yet the teenager had her eye on the new arrival from the very start—even though he was already taken. When Margaret met him on his first day, she turned to Elizabeth and said, “Bad luck, he’s married". This only got worse.

17. She Flirted With Danger

Apparently, the vivacious Margaret wasn’t going let a little thing like holy matrimony—or their ridiculous age difference—get in the way of having her fun with Townsend. She flirted with him shamelessly, even once demanding he carry her up the stairs after a party, all in full view of her father King George VI. But harmless fun quickly turned into dangerous liaisons.

18. She Had An Exotic Romance

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In 1947, Margaret’s family finally let her come with them on a state visit abroad—her first ever—to South Africa. But they made a fatal error. Ironically, Peter Townsend was her “chaperone” for the visit, and they often went riding together. Margaret later admitted that she fell in love with Townsend on this trip. But as for Townsend? Well…

19. She Had An Unrequited Love

For all that Princess Margaret was determined to seduce Peter Townsend, he wasn’t exactly sold on the idea at the beginning. In fact, many sources report that he, like most of the palace courtiers, saw Margaret merely as an “indulged child". Accordingly, Townsend treated her very distantly and firmly, and they had a bit of a love/hate start…at first.

20. She Seduced A Man

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According to Townsend himself, there was one exact moment where he realized that he was deep in love with Margaret, too. He claimed it happened in 1951, while the entire family was out for a picnic together. Under King George’s watchful eye, Margaret woke Townsend up from a nap, and he suddenly couldn’t deny his feelings.

Even so, Townsend was still very much married, and it would take an absolute tragedy to bring them together.

21. She Suffered An Enormous Tragedy

In the early 1950s, King George’s health started failing, thanks in part to his rampant smoking habit. Margaret’s father went under the knife for lung cancer, but surgery didn’t make things any better. On February 6, 1952, the monarch passed, making Margaret’s sister Queen Elizabeth II—and throwing the princess into a total tailspin.

22. She Fell Into A Crisis

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Princess Margaret was incredibly close with her father, and his passing crushed her. She called him, “such a wonderful person, the very heart and center of our happy family". With that center gone, Margaret suffered from bouts of ill health and had trouble sleeping, even seeking out a sedative prescription to help numb her pain. And there was more upheaval to come.

23. She Got Her Deepest Wish

1952 was already shaping up to be a stressful year for Princess Margaret, but then Peter Townsend had to throw her another curveball. The palace aide went and divorced his wife, suddenly making him a free agent and fair game at last. I’d say Margaret made the rational decision and took it slow…but when has this girl made rational decisions?

24. She Had A Secret Rendezvous Spot

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Thrown together by their grief and the respective total messes of their personal lives, Townsend and Princess Margaret soon began seeing each other in secret. Margaret had private apartments in the already secluded Clarence House, and the pair made good use of their alone time, visiting regularly on the down-low. Then, the inevitable crisis hit.

25. She Got An Indecent Proposal

As it turns out, people who are trauma-bonded go fast and hard in love, and Townsend proposed marriage to Margaret in April 1953, just over a year after her father’s passing. Margaret, who had been a love-sick girl for Peter right from the get-go, gave him an ecstatic yes in response. Except there was just one more enormous problem…

26. Her First True Romance Was A Disaster

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As a divorced man, Townsend’s betrothal to Margaret presented a catastrophe for the monarchy. After all, the government and the Church of England had just denied Margaret’s uncle Edward VIII his marriage to Wallis Simpson for much the same reasons. Plus, since she was only 23 years old, Margaret also had to ask her sister for permission to marry anyone at all. It, uh, did not go well.

27. Her Sister Forced Her To Keep A Secret

When Princess Margaret informed her elder sister and sovereign of her steamy romance, Queen Elizabeth II definitely didn’t welcome it with open arms. Afraid of the stir it would cause at the beginning of her reign, Elizabeth insisted that Margaret wait for a year and keep the relationship a secret until after her coronation. Guys, this ALSO didn’t go well.

28. She Accidentally Revealed Everything

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Margaret and Townsend tried their best to keep their love under wraps, although some foreign papers did get wind of a romance brewing. But on coronation day, chaos really broke loose. In a casual, thoughtless moment during the ceremony, Margaret fondly picked some lint off of Townsend’s coat—and the press went wild.

29. She Became A Lurid Tabloid Story

Suddenly, seemingly every newspaper in the United Kingdom started weighing in on Margaret’s princess-and-pauper relationship with the civilian Townsend. They did not mince words, either: Most publications were appalled at the idea, with The People even running the headline “They Must Deny It NOW". Still, that was just the beginning of the nightmare.

30. The Government Turned On Her

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Within months, England had gone into full constitutional crisis mode. The parliament and the Church of England predictably criticized the match, insisting that Margaret denounce her royal privileges and allowance if she wanted to go through with the marriage. Yet within the inner circle of Buckingham Palace, things were even more tense.

31. Her Own Family Rejected Her Suitor

Margaret’s royal brood was totally torn over her girlhood romance. Elizabeth’s husband Prince Phillip detested the idea of Townsend becoming part of the family, and he let everyone know it. Meanwhile, Elizabeth herself just wanted her sister to be happy, yet felt bound to tradition and couldn’t say yes to the union. Instead, they came up with a desperate plan.

32. She Came Up With An Escape Plot

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To buy Margaret more time, Elizabeth begged her sister to wait another couple of years, until she turned 25. At this time, she would no longer need to ask the monarch for permission to marry. If her infatuation with Townsend lasted, she could wed him then, all while Elizabeth avoided a crisis. It was supposed to be the perfect solution...in reality, it was a complete disaster.

33. She Had Multiple Flings

For one, Margaret and Townsend had to separate during this time, and many courtiers hoped that absence would make their hearts grow weaker. For a hot minute, it looked like they were right: While Townsend studiously avoided spending time with women, Margaret gallivanted around town with a series of men on her opera-gloved arm. But the lovers were hiding yet another secret.

34. She Had A Side Piece

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During the entire time that they were supposed to be apart, Townsend was still secretly meeting with Princess Margaret. He would travel in from the continent for nights and weekends at their old love nest at Clarence House, or else stay with friends if he wanted to look super incognito. And then the long-awaited day came…

35. Her Birthday Was The Talk Of The Town

On August 21st, 1955, Princess Margaret turned 25—and everyone in Britain noticed. Hundreds of reporters swarmed Balmoral Castle, thirsting for any drop of news, and newspapers set up “ring watches” for Margaret’s hands. As one publication put it, "Nothing much else than Princess Margaret's affairs is being talked of in this country". But they’d have to wait for the next development.

36. She Had A Public Courtship

File:Prinses Margaret , Lord Snowdon en Prins Bernhard in de ...commons.wikimedia.org

Months later on October 12th, 1955, Peter Townsend returned back to England, this time as Margaret’s official suitor. For the next weeks, the princess and the Group Captain courted each other at various dinners around town, all while the entire nation held their breath to see what Margaret would do. In the end, it was nothing but a tragic disappointment.

37. She Made A Shocking Announcement

After weeks of speculation, no betrothal had yet materialized—and that's when Margaret dropped an absolute bombshell. On October 31st, she released an official statement declaring “I have decided not to marry Group Captain Peter Townsend". After such a whirlwind romance, the populace was flabbergasted and at a loss for her reasons…but we now have an idea what they were.

38. Her Sister Gave Her A Heart-Warming Gift

File:Queen Elizabeth II - 1953-Dress.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

One of the biggest urban legends around Margaret’s split from Townsend is that Queen Elizabeth II is to blame for their breakup. Nothing could be further from the truth. Official documents reveal she was working tirelessly to change certain policies to make it easier for her sister to marry. Instead, the main culprit was something much more heartbreaking.

39. There Was One Thing She Wouldn’t Give Up

Although some aspects of the scandal remain a mystery, one of them is very clear: Margaret didn’t think she could live as a civilian. One way or another, marrying Townsend would mean giving up her royal allowance, and they simply couldn’t live on the money he took in. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like heck—and Margaret’s next actions didn’t help matters.

40. She Rebounded Hard

File:Princess Margaret.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Many people believed that Margaret would never marry after losing Townsend—after all, she had waited so long that most of her eligible male acquaintances were now married. That’s not what happened. Soon after disentangling herself, Margaret took up with her old friend Billy Wallace, even accepting his proposal of marriage. Sadly, it too ended it heartbreak.

41. She Got Her Heart Broken Again

Wallace wasn’t exactly the best rebound for poor Princess Margaret. First, he called her relationship with Townsend “girlish nonsense that got out of hand,” which definitely smacks of insecurity to me. Even worse, he cheated on the princess while on a trip to the Bahamas. Thankfully, Margaret broke things off when she found out, but it was out of the frying pan and into the fire…

42. She Fell In Love With A Rebel

File:Antony Armstrong-Jones 1965b.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

In 1958, Margaret met bohemian photographer and man about town Antony Armstrong-Jones at a dinner party. On the surface, he represented everything she was looking for in a man: Dashing, daring, and bound to anger the establishment. They fell into a hot, heavy, and above all secret romance. Then, like everything Margaret did, it moved fast—too fast.

43. She Had A Quick Engagement

In October 1959, Armstrong-Jones got down on one knee and proposed to Princess Margaret with a stunner of a ruby engagement ring, surrounded by diamonds and shaped into a rosebud. For the third time in her life (that we know of anyway), Margaret said yes to her suitor. But there was a chilling reason behind her answer.

44. She Got Back At Her Ex

As it turned out, Margaret couldn’t quite forget about her first love Peter Townsend. She actually accepted Armstrong-Jones’s proposal the day after finding out that Townsend was planning to marry a beautiful Belgian woman named Marie-Luce Jamagne. It was a desperate revenge on Margaret’s part...and it gets even more twisted than that.

45. Her First Love Was Creepy

The thing is, Townsend probably wasn’t over Princess Margaret either. Eerily enough, Marie-Luce was the spitting image of the young royal, down to her long oval face, dark hair, and captivating eyes. Still, Margaret and Peter now seemed done forever (hint: they might not have been). It was enough to make any woman rush into a totally doomed wedding.

46. She Had A Fairy Tale Wedding

File:Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip host Queen's Dinner for ...commons.wikimedia.org

On May 6th, 1960, Princess Margaret finally walked down the aisle, tying the knot with Armstrong-Jones in a lavish ceremony at Westminster Abbey. True to her fashion-plate reputation, Margaret wore a Norman Hartnell dress with the stunning, gigantic Poltimore tiara. Yet for all that the procession looked good, there was something missing…

47. The World Snubbed Her

If you looked closely at Margaret’s wedding ceremony, you might have noticed a disturbing absence: Almost no foreign royals attended. They refused to accept Margaret’s marriage to a common photographer, and only Queen Ingrid of Denmark was a noble guest Margaret wasn’t directly related to. If you're wondering, this was definitely a bad omen.

48. She Got A Bizarre Present

On the surface, the beginnings of Princess Margaret’s marriage were wedded bliss. Her possible ex-lover Colin Tennant even gave the new couple a plot of land on his private Caribbean island, Mustique, and it soon became one of Margaret's favorite getaway spots. For the record, I also accept tokens from my exes in the form of tropical land grants.

49. Her Life Looked Perfect

For a brief moment, the public good times kept on rolling for the couple. Although Armstrong-Jones fought privately against getting a title, the newlyweds soon became the respectable-sounding Countess and Earl of Snowdon. By 1964, they also had two children, David and Sarah, together. But behind the scenes, it was falling apart.

50. Her Husband Betrayed Her

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In truth, the Snowdons had massive, reality TV levels of dysfunction. Antony, who was openly bi, had no qualms about going after nearly every bedroom prospect that came his way; as one friend put it, “If it moves, he'll have it". Before the ink was dry on Margaret's marriage certificate, Antony had had more than a few late night sleepovers.

51. Her Husband Abandoned Her

On top of all that, their marriage was a total mismatch of personalities and goals when it came to relationships. Armstrong-Jones was a workaholic, and Margaret often complained that he was never around and that she was constantly lonely. But don’t go thinking the princess was totally blameless…because she certainly wasn’t.

52. She Had A Huge Addiction

If Armstrong-Jones was a workaholic, Princess Margaret was hiding a much darker addiction. She'd always been a partier and had even dabbled in hard substances, but good old alcohol was her dangerous drug of choice. So when her husband was off working, Margaret was often hitting the bottle. Oh, and there was that other thing…

53. She Slept With Famous People

File:Mick Jagger (1982).jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

Although Armstrong-Jones had a steady stream of male lovers and mistresses behind Margaret’s back, she didn’t have a leg to stand on. In the 1960s, she embarked on a string of extramarital affairs of her own, and there are rumors she even fell into the beds of celebrities like Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty. But, as it happens, Margaret’s very first indiscretion was one of her worst.

54. She Did Her Daughter Dirty

When the princess first dipped her toe into infidelity in 1966, she went big and went home with none other than her own daughter’s godfather, the vintner Anthony Barton. I mean, this doesn’t seem particularly smart on her part, but I guess there’s no accounting for taste. Even so, Margaret had a more notorious affair up her sleeve.

55. The Public Caught Her In A Lie

In 1967, Margaret engaged in a brief affair with Robin Douglas-Home, a nephew of a former British Prime Minister. However, she later denied everything and insisted their relationship was platonic. Until, that is, she was caught red-handed. Her love letters to him came out, spilling the beans—and her lies—to the world. And somehow, it got messier.

56. She Was A Black Widow

In the end, Princess Margaret had a good reason to deny the fling, given the tragic way it all turned out. Robin Douglas-Home never really recovered from their breakup, and Margaret’s denials probably did nothing to comfort him. Then, just 18 months after their romance fell apart, he fell into a deep depression and took his own life.

57. She Could Be Heartless

File:Prinses Margaret en Lord Snowdon Anglo Nederlandse ...commons.wikimedia.org

Around this time, Margaret's famous wit took on a very mean streak, reflecting her own bitter personal life. Once while she was at a fashionable party in New York, a fellow guest asked the princess how the Queen was doing. Margaret's reply was legendarily cruel. She sniped, “Which one? My sister, my mother, or my husband?” And her claws only sharpened as time went on.

58. She Had A Biting Wit

It now didn't take much for Princess Margaret's serene facade to crack, even in public. One time at an event, she sat next to the supermodel Twiggy. For two hours, the princess flat-out refused to speak to her companion, but eventually turned to her and asked who she was. “I’m Lesley Hornby, ma’am, but people call me Twiggy,” Twiggy said. Margaret's only response? "How unfortunate".

59. Her Husband Wrote Her Hate Mail

By the late 1960s, Princess Margaret’s marriage to Armstrong-Jones had turned into a tragedy. And one day, her husband went way too far. The Earl of Snowdon started putting little notes around the house and in books for Margaret to find, but they weren’t love letters—oh, no. Instead, they said horrific things like “You look like a Jewish manicurist and I hate you". Dear GOD.

60. Her Family Dealt Her A Cruel Blow

Despite Armstrong-Jones’s obvious mistreatment of the Princess, Margaret had very little in the way of a support system. Sadly, her stiff-upper-lip family often took her husband’s side in their squabbles, thinking that it was just Margaret being dramatic again. The tension and anxiety got so bad, even Margaret's psyche started changing...

61. She Had Terrible Nightmares

a black and white photo of a woman wearing a tiaraPhoto by Museums of History New South Wales on Unsplash

According to Margaret herself, she often suffered horrific and recurring nightmares. The subject of these nightmares? Her own sister Queen Elizabeth II. In these dreams, the younger princess would imagine disappointing her sibling again and again. It’s no surprise, then, that Margaret's personal life eventually hit an infamous breaking point.

62. She Had A Boy Toy

Desperately lonely and almost entirely estranged from her husband, Princess Margaret started what she called a “loving friendship” with a man named Roddy Llewellyn, a landscape gardener 17 years younger than her. She even invited him for several visits to her private island of Mustique…and that’s maybe where it became less “friendship,” more “loving”…

63. She Tried To Kill Herself

Honestly, I don’t begrudge Princess Margaret getting her groove back—but her relationship with Roddy quickly turned dangerous. She grew so dependent on him that one day when he left on a spontaneous trip to Turkey, she became despondent and overdosed on sleeping pills to shut out the world. And the real scandal was yet to come.

64. There’s One Infamous Photo Of Her

In the winter of 1976, a notorious photograph hit the British tabloids. The snap showed Princess Margaret and her supposed boy-toy Roddy Llewellyn sunning themselves on the beach in Mustique, clad only in their swimsuits. Politicians immediately and cruelly denounced Margaret as a “floosie” and a “royal parasite,” but the photo’s real damage was to her marriage.

65. She Had A Scandalous Divorce

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After the tabloids hung Margaret’s dirty laundry all over their front pages, the British public could see just what a downward turn her “fairy tale” marriage had taken. With the jig up, Margaret and Antony finally sought a separation (and thank goodness for that), officially divorcing in 1978. However, Margaret’s tragedies were far from over.

66. She Lost Her Beauty

The moment Margaret finally got rid of Armstrong-Jones, the bloom of her beauty seemed to die on the vine. She was in her late 40s, single again, and the weight of the world was back on her shoulders. After seeing her briefly at a party, photographer Cecil Beaton recalled that, her “eyes seem to have lost their vigor, her complexion is now a dirty negligée pink satin". Yet his reaction got harsher.

67. Karma Came For Her

Margaret's acerbic wit had won her many enemies, and Beaton was apparently one of them. He not only compared Margaret unfavorably to Queen Victoria on this occasion, he all but gloried in the loss of her youth. As Beaton continued, “She was not very nice in the days when she was so pretty and attractive...But, my God, has she been paid out!”

68. She Was A "Burlesque" Of Her Sister

By the end of her life, many thought that Princess Margaret became a parody of herself. The caliber of her lovers plummeted, and her crudeness only grew with her disturbing drinking habits. Even the most casual monarchists felt she disgraced her family name, and people started characterizing her as a “nightclub burlesque of her sister". Wow.

69. She Loved Dirty Party Tricks

Another one of Margaret’s more scandalous alleged lovers at this time includes the gangster John Bindon. Shockingly, Bindon claimed they embarked on an affair after he awed the princess with a lewd but admittedly impressive party trick—balancing five half-pint glasses upon a part of his body that, uh, I won’t name here. Look, use your imagination.

70. She Was A Snob

File:Prinses Margaret aan de lunchtafel in het Amstel Hotel ...commons.wikimedia.org

Although Margaret maintained a kind of young, care-free, and fashionable image to the public, many said that her real personality was much different—and much darker. She could be incredibly snobby when she wanted to be, and some even claimed she looked down on her own grandmother because she was a lower-rank princess.

71. She Had A Scandalous Daily Routine

Margaret's daily routine as an adult was just as spoiled as it was when she was a little princess, only with darker twists added in. When she was in her mid-20s, she often insisted on having her breakfast in bed. After that, she would get into freshly laundered clothes; she only wore an outfit once before washing it. Then, she'd wander downstairs for a mid-morning "vodka pick-me-up". Natch.

72. She May Have Been Involved In A Robbery

In 1971, the infamous “Baker Street Robbery” of Lloyds Bank occurred, where a gang tunnelled through the building and emptied hundreds of safety deposit boxes. But there may be more to the story. According to some conspiracies, the burglary was actually a cover-up to retrieve some “compromising” photos of Margaret. In some versions, MI5 hatched the whole plot to protect the Princess’s honor.

73. Her Friends Dropped Her

Perhaps the greatest sadness at the end of Princess Margaret's time was how all her fair-weather friends left her one by one. Still, she also pushed them away: The diarist Sir Roy Strong wrote that Margaret became “tiresome, spoilt, idle and irritating" during her later years and he complained that, “She has no direction, no overriding interest. All she likes is young men". Honestly though, same.

74. Her Body Started To Fail Her

Eventually, Margaret's lifestyle caught up with her. In addition to her other unsavory habits, the princess was also a near lifelong smoker, having started when she was just 15 years old at the latest. By the 1980s, she needed to have doctors remove her left lung, a procedure that eerily recalled her father’s demise. Sadly, her own end was near.

75. She Had A Steep Decline

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In the 1990s, the Princess began to go downhill fast. She suffered a series of strokes, and also scalded her feet in a bathroom mishap, leaving her bedridden or wheelchair bound for months on end. By 2001, she was partially paralyzed and even had difficulty swallowing. Although the Windsors are famously long-lived, the once-vibrant Princess Margaret wasn’t going to make it long.

76. She Had A Direct Line To Her Sister

Despite shows like The Crown playing up the rifts between Queen Elizabeth and Princess Margaret, and despite the incredible hardships the two royals went through, they remained close. At one point, Margaret even installed a direct line from her home in Kensington Palace to Elizabeth's quarters in Buckingham Palace so they could always stay in touch.

77. She Was Much Different In Private

Princess Margaret could be bright, witty, and informal, but she also had her "average" moments too. As her governess once recalled, "Impulsive and bright remarks she made became headlines and, taken out of their context, began to produce in the public eye an oddly distorted personality that bore little resemblance to the Margaret we knew".

78. She Had A Cute Nickname

She might be “Princess Margaret” to us, but the royal family was very close-knit at the time, and all gave each other nicknames. While they called Elizabeth “Lilibet,” they most often called Margaret “Margot".

79. Her Name Might Have Been Different

Although her family nicknamed her "Margot," her birth name was almost completely different. Margaret's mother actually first wanted to name her "Ann," and she was "very anxious" to get her way. Except, well, she didn't. Her husband King George didn't share his wife's love of the name, and vetoed it completely. Thanks a lot, patriarchy.

80. She Met An Eerie End

File:St George's Chapel from the Altar, Windsor Castle, from ...commons.wikimedia.org

On February 9, 2002, Princess Margaret passed in King Edward VII’s hospital at the age of 71, after her long and difficult battle with multiple illnesses. The day holds an eerie meaning. Following a decline that looked much like her father’s, Margaret also passed just three days after the 50th anniversary of King George VI’s own death.

81. She Stooped To New Lows

As Margaret's addictions to cheap drinks and sleazy men deepened, she developed some seriously tragic habits. According to one rumor, she got so used to smoking and drinking constantly that she simply glued matchboxes to her tumbler glasses to make for easier access to both vices. Is this dignified? Heck no. Is it genius? Yes.

82. She Just Couldn’t Quit Her First Love

Late into Princess Margaret’s life, people still wondered if she continued to carry a torch for her dashing Group Captain Peter Townsend after all these years. Few people know the real story. Even after their official announcement and split, the pair saw each other on and off, though they swore it was only in a friendly capacity. But there’s more…

83. Her Letters May Reveal The Truth

Although the Princess and her captain maintained they were only platonic in the decades after their romance, Margaret also made one final visit to Townsend in 1992, just a few years before his death, showing that they still kept tabs on one another. In reality, we may not know the full truth until much later. Their palace will release their love letters 100 years after Margaret’s birth, in 2030.

84. Her Husband Gave Her One Final Insult

Even in death, Princess Margaret couldn’t escape the horror show that was her marriage with Antony Armstrong-Jones. In 2004, a vicious report came out claiming that just three weeks into his marriage with Margaret, Armstrong-Jones fathered an illegitimate daughter with a mistress he had been seeing during his royal engagement. Oh, and it doesn’t end there.

85. Her Ex Told A Huge Lie

a close up of a double strand of gold glitterPhoto by ANIRUDH on Unsplash

At first, Armstrong-Jones vehemently denied paternity, despite the fact that the girl, Polly Fry, claimed she had done a DNA test and that he was most certainly the father. Yet four years later, he finally admitted that the story was true. Seriously, only Antony Armstrong-Jones could do Princess Margaret so wrong even after she died.

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