Flight of Angels
May, 2002, LOS ANGELES - T. S. Eliot said, "April is the cruelest month." He meant it in the tragi-poetic sense of spring, the beginning of life, being the beginning of the suffering and sorrows that is an inescapable component of existence. The ultimate cruelty of life is death. In recent weeks I have lost two people - Nobu McCarthy and Fred Okrand -- who played important roles in my life.
Nobu McCarthy was a lovely actress and a good friend. She played opposite me in my very first paying TV engagement, a role in the famed live television program "Playhouse 90" in 1958. I played a defeated Japanese soldier who returns to war-ravaged Japan only to discover that his betrothed, the character played by Nobu, had fallen in love with a GI with the American occupation forces, played by Dean Stockwell.
Nobu herself had only recently arrived from Japan as the bride of an American GI whom she had met and married in Tokyo. Her television role closely paralleled her own life. But she was untrained as an actress and halting in her command of English. Rehearsals were an arduous struggle for her. At first, Nobu's stunning beauty was what struck me. But as I got to know her better during rehearsals, I was impressed by her grit and will to grow as an actress. She worked with determination from first reading to dress rehearsals, and, by air-date, she was nervous but ready. Nervousness just made her that much sharper. She turned in a beautiful performance.
A few months later, we were again cast together, this time as lovers in an episode of "Perry Mason." She was wonderful. With diligence and determination, she continued her study, and, ultimately, transformed herself into a fine actress. And we became good friends. We saw each other often socially. But we didn't work with each other again until the early 90's when we did Philip Kan Gotanda's play "The Wash" in New York and Los Angeles. Again, we played lovers - but now as senior citizens. Nobu played a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage; I played a lonely widower. What a joy it was playing her lover in the autumn of the character's lives. It was bliss just being on stage with Nobu. She was now a consummate artist, as well she should be. She had a collection of distinguished achievements both on stage and on film. She had been much lauded for her moving performance in the television drama on the internment of Japanese Americans, "Farewell to Manzanar."
Nobu had added another dimension to her career as well. She had become a teacher and a cultural leader. She taught drama at California State University at Los Angeles and at my alma mater, UCLA. When the East West Players, America's oldest Asian American theater, was in turmoil in the early 90's, Nobu stepped in as Artistic Director and brought it stability and balance. Thanks to her efforts, East West Players today is a solidly established and respected theater company in Los Angeles. Nobu was playing a leadership role in the cultural life of the community.
I last saw Nobu two months ago at a press conference called by the lieutenant governor of California to announce the funding of a program to make video copies of her television film "Farewell to Manzanar" available to schools in California for educational purposes. Nobu was glowing with happiness. This program combined the two passions of her life, one as an artist and the other as an educator. It was wonderful to see her in such good high spirits.
Shortly after that press conference, Nobu flew to Brazil to work on a film on location. The next time I heard of Nobu was a phone call notifying me of her passing in Brazil.
* * * *
The other immeasurable loss is Fred Okrand. He was an attorney and an extraordinary fighter for justice who also had a unique Star Trek connection. His son, Marc, is the creator of the Klingon language.
I didn't meet Fred Okrand personally until Marc and I became friends during the filming of Star Trek III, The Search for Spock. But I knew of Fred Okrand since childhood. My father had talked of the attorneys who stood against the wind and challenged the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. Fred was one of the few. He had been a principled, courageous, and lonely voice during that time of war hysteria. A lifelong advocate of civil liberties, he later became the Legal Director of the American Civil Liberties Union. Honored frequently for his work, Fred is the holder of the Justice Award of the Japanese American Citizens League and was named Lawyer of the Year by the Constitutional Rights Foundation. The ACLU also presented him with the Lifetime Achievement Award.
Through Marc I got to know Fred, not only as an iconic fighter for justice, but as a whimsically rugged individualist as well. His most striking idiosyncrasy was in his clothes. He wore checkered trousers with wildly contrasting sport shirts or pale pastel pants with colorful Hawaiian shirts. He was clad in his office as if he were on a golf course. And he literally whistled while he worked. With his round, smiling eyes beaming out from behind large, round spectacles, Fred exuded an irresistibly elfin charm. Facially, Marc is the youthful spitting image of his father, but in attire, Marc is much more restrained. In contrast to his father, Marc is downright drab. When at work, however, Fred was a single-minded workaholic. He preached, practiced, and wore on his body the freedom guaranteed in the First Amendment of the Constitution.
Throughout his illness, Fred never stopped working. At the time of his passing, he was co-counsel on another extraordinary class action lawsuit that went back to the unfinished business of World War II internment camps. Mochizuki versus U.S. is on behalf of over two thousand Japanese Latin Americans who were uprooted from their homes in Latin America and forcibly brought to and imprisoned in American internment camps during World War II. Japanese Americans had received apologies and redress from the U.S. government in 1988 but Japanese Latin Americans had not been included. Fred was continuing their battle for justice at the time of his death. Most fittingly, his memorial service was held in the stately Aratani Central Hall of the Japanese American National Museum. Fred Okrand's legacy is as strong and as magnificent a pillar of the U.S. Constitution as those elegant white marble columns at the entrance of the United States Supreme Court.
I will miss deeply the two wonderful people who passed away in recent weeks. But their legacies will always be with us to remind us of their magnificent work during the time they shared with us. Two beloved lives well lived, productively lived and importantly lived. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
A bride has a lot to do before her big day, from planning the dinners, to getting her dress, to deciding on the decorating details. This quest for the perfect wedding can sometimes be even more stressful than finding a lifelong partner—but that doesn’t mean these women had any excuse for going full Bridezilla in front of their staff.
1. Her Own Worst Enemy
I work as a wedding server. As soon as someone says “Bridezilla". I think of this one story where the manager of our hotel had to shut down the wedding halfway through. This was the Bridezilla of all the Bridezillas I've ever seen. There were a lot of little things leading up that were casual Bridezilla—until the wedding took a dark turn.
At one point, she accused the wedding server staff of taking her veil...then the manager found it in her room and also showed her the card swipes to her room proving only she had been in the room that day. About 20 minutes later, she was screaming at some poor front desk employee accusing her of taking her wedding boots.
The manager intervened again, and after a long talk the photographer told them he had a photo of the boots on the staircase of the church, and asked if she had worn them since...When she said no, she told our place it was our job to have picked them up and made sure she had them, even though the church was not related to our place at all.
THEN shortly after she started opening the wedding gifts frantically inside the ballroom and screaming at anyone and everyone, guests included, saying someone took her wedding certificate. After that, our manager gathered the wedding staff and told us to take off our uniform jackets, empty them in front of him, then to clock out and go home.
Which we all did. None of us took anything. We heard next day that the maid of honor had the certificate and after we left the wedding was shut down completely.
2. Mother Knows Best
I worked at David’s Bridal and I have to say that as far as Bridezillas, it was always the moms, grandmas, sisters, and friends that were terrible. Either they hated what the bride would pick out for them to wear or they would hate what she was picking out for herself to wear. At David’s Bridal, we have kind of strict appointment guidelines when it comes to time.
A lot of brides who would bring entourages wouldn’t find a dress because everyone would bombard her with their opinions and overwhelm them. The worst thing I’ve ever witnessed was when one bride who always struggled with her weight came in. She was overweight and had been working extremely hard on it over the last year.
It was a slower day and we all loved her story and wanted to make that day special so we all decided to help. She finally found a dress that she loved and she started crying along with most of us. Then she looked at her mom and asked for her opinion. Her mom’s response was brutal. She looked at her and said, “You look fat in it".
We all stood there in silence and the bride lost her happiness. She asked to be assisted in taking it off and they left. It was one of the saddest days that I had experienced there.
3. Maid Of Dishonorman and woman in wedding dress standing beside white floral curtainPhoto by Ben Wicks on Unsplash
Management here at a bridal shop. You have no idea the sense of entitlement that walks into my store. I would consider us the Wal-Mart of weddings: We cater to everyone from poorer people to rich nobodies who think they’re somebody. I’ve seen it all. “These dresses are cheap,” to “These dresses are too expensive". I’m a rational person and being part of management means I’m trusted to make important decisions and enforce policy.
All sales are final, depending of course, but you have to have one great excuse to get a penny out of me. The best (by best I mean craziest) excuse yet was a spouse who had her wedding coordinator go in to refund the items because she was in a psych ward. Why? Because she tried to hurt her sister…after the sister announced she was pregnant with the groom’s baby…at the bridal shower.
We refunded everyone but the sister, who was ironically the maid of honor.
4. Right In The Face
I was a bridesmaid for a family member’s wedding. We hired a super talented makeup artist to come in and make her look really good for her big day. This makeup artist, who was the quietest, shortest lady I’ve ever met in my whole life, starts doing her makeup. Once she finished it looked REALLY GOOD. I was just like “diddly dang, she’ll love this". BOY was I wrong.
The bridezilla looked in the mirror and went absolutely BONKERS. She screeched, “It looks awful! YOU KNOW WHAT I WANTED!” She was crying, and her eye makeup was streaming down her face. We all rushed to calm her down. This poor makeup artist looks like she’s about to pee. So the makeup artist fixes her up despite her outburst and does basically the same thing but adds a little more eyeliner.
Suddenly the bridezilla LOVES IT.
5. Frame It Up
While the photographer was waiting for the extended family to gather for formal photos, he photographed couples and families already present. The bride bristled that he wasn't taking photos of her and that these were not the photos the bride had requested. This was after the photographer had already finished photos of the bride and groom in several locations.
Because the bride was upset, she didn't ask the photographer to take photos of her and her special friends during the following reception. So, when she finally saw the photos a few weeks later, she regretted that she had taken out her (unwarranted) anger, and she was missing dozens of photos she would have wanted. Karma’s a witch.
6. Shut It All Downa white and black dressPhoto by Rosemary Williams on Unsplash
A local wedding shop that had been in operation for years in my area had to close down. This place was very well known and a lot of people I knew went there for wedding dresses, prom dresses, etc. In 2014, however, there were a few US cases of Ebola, if you remember. One of the ladies who came down with it was a nurse and caught it from a patient who had Ebola.
She, for some reason, got the OK to travel, then came to the area where I live and went to this particular bridal shop. When it was confirmed she had Ebola, the shop closed down for three weeks to be professionally cleaned and de-toxed. After the shop opened back up from the three-week shutdown, they were never able to recover.
Months later, they announced that they couldn't afford to stay open and were struggling. The stigma of the lady with Ebola being in the shop drove people away. Oh, and the lady with Ebola tried suing the bridal shop when they wouldn't refund her and her bridal party’s deposits when she canceled her orders. Just a total mess.
7. Money Can’t Buy Class
Strap in, folks. This is going to be a bumpy ride. I work in a relatively high-end country club in the American South. We had a doozy last season. It was not only the bride who was crazy, but the whole wedding party. The "Happy Couple" were not members of the club, but had convinced our coordinator to sign off on it.
However, this coordinator quit shortly after booking, and a new girl had to deal with the fallout. First off, they had been extremely rude to our new coordinator and managers through the whole planning process. They had a private coordinator as well, but she was pretty well useless. Ours didn't even know she existed until the rehearsal.
The bride had demanded all kinds of free stuff during the planning. Now, I have no problem doing a wine tasting to go with the food tasting. However, if you come back three times to try the same free samples, I'm not playing ball anymore. You're paying for it at that point. You and the five people with you. Fast forward to the rehearsal.
We have regular dinner service going on in our dining room for our (rather exclusive) members. Renting the ballroom for a day does not entitle you to take over the entire clubhouse. The bridal party are drinking, yelling, cursing, and being generally ugly all over the grounds. Nothing was right, according to the private coordinator who had never seen the space before this.
Everything had to be moved. "What do you mean your covered terrace can't accommodate 250 people for the ceremony without an extra tent?" "I was told the dance floor would be by THOSE windows, not these". "We absolutely cannot let anyone into the ballroom until after the ceremony, so I don't care that the terrace is only accessible through it, make them all walk around the building through the wet grass".
This whole time, the bridal party is getting louder and drinking more. The little old ladies trying to eat poached salmon in peace are obviously annoyed. Father of the bride has set up a provisional account to pay for the wedding, since we don't accept cash or cards, only accounts. The bridal party knows the account number, and we've been told to put everything on it by our managers, as long as the person ordering knows the number.
You can see where this is going. He didn't see it that night, but he argued every single drink when the bill came. Even the 18-year-old scotch that he alone was drinking. Okay, enough of the day before. On to the main event. Most of this day I was on the periphery, since I was working on the other end of the building. This is the end they weren't supposed to be on, except the bride and bridesmaids, since their dressing room was on that side.
I could still hear pretty much everything that was happening, and saw way more than I should have. As guests arrived, they were directed around the outside, as per the request. The mother of the bride freaks out because OF COURSE they didn't want HER side of the family to have to go that way. They need to be allowed to walk through the active dining room and around the other side where the golf course is.
At this point, the groom and groomsmen are getting positively sloshed in the men's locker room, which our members are still using as well. Bridesmaids have moved out of the ladies' locker room and are rampaging through the members' bar. And by that I mean that we caught them multiple times pouring drinks behind the bar while the bartenders were getting their bar ready in the ballroom.
They had the same move every time of, "Oh, gosh, how did this bottle get in my hand and why is it suddenly half empty? Haha, silly me!" The ceremony goes well enough, considering basically everyone standing up front could barely stand. You may be asking how we let it get to that point. Well, they had snuck in a lot of drinks. I mean, a lot...
Highlights of the reception: The bride is cursing. A lot. I don't think one sentence came out of her mouth without a variant of a swear word. During hors d'oeuvres, the maid of honor comes out of the locker room and informs me that it "needs attention". You know, the room where only they had been for the last three hours because they had scared off all the members already.
It shouldn't have been my job, but the attendant had gone home early due to an emergency, so I figured I would take a look. I was horrified at what I saw. I came right back out to get every manager I could find. I even cleared the coast so our chef could come look after he saw my reaction. It was, quite simply, disgusting.
The small wastebasket was overflowing because they had put a bunch of stuff on top of the nice big covered one and then forgot about it. Part of the overflow was a used tampon. There are separate baskets in the stalls for those. Dirty panties, about 10 empty champagne bottles, everything a normal person would put aside or throw away just sat wherever it had fallen.
I removed the trash (with gloves on) and didn't touch one thing that was personal. I should have thrown out a lot more. About 1.5 hours in, the bride asks the bartender what Black people drink, so she can get something to give to the band. When she is told we don't serve the band drinks due to liability, she flips out. More cursing.
How dare we not do exactly what she wants? Do we know how much she is paying for this? Not nearly as much as a lot of our members pay for theirs, I can tell you. Her new husband manages to somewhat calm her down eventually. By this point, all of the guests are so loud and obnoxious and not staying on their end of things that we call in extra security just to stand at all access points and wrangle them.
Remember all those "hidden” drinks? About two hours into the reception, the security guard nearest to the men's restroom hears an awful noise from inside. Goes to investigate and finds a broken urinal and an empty handle of Jack Daniels. Time for cake! This can't go wrong can it? Oh, it does go wrong. Wifey smears cake on the lower half of Hubby's face.
Haha! So cute! Hubby puts tiny dollop of icing on end of Wifey's nose. "OH MY GAWD!! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT?! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!!" (Paraphrased. It went on waaay longer than that). She proceeds to go literally running through the entire clubhouse and most of the surrounding grounds screaming at the top of her lungs.
As it was a nice night, many of our members were enjoying the patio off the dining room. One member in particular had been listening to the hubbub, and asked me the names of the couple. I had to laugh when I remembered that he's a prominent divorce lawyer. I, jokingly, asked if he wanted me to pass out his card. He, very seriously, said yes.
The party was shut down two hours early. Officers were informed of potential drivers (who shouldn't be driving) leaving the property. The bridal party were staying in rental houses on club grounds, so our security escorted them back. You'd think that would be the end. But, alas, no. I did not witness the next day's meeting, but I gather it involved a lot of apologies from the groom, and a lot more angry words for everyone from the bride.
Plus debates about the bar bill from dear old dad, because they could not possibly have had three kegs in that short of a time. He was right, sorry for the mistake, we should have charged for the fourth tapped keg. About a week later, we were informed of an investigation claiming that one of our staff had taken the bride's laptop.
For maybe two weeks, we were randomly called by the local authorities with updates on the case. Then she found it in the trunk of her car, where it had been the entire time, because they used a club-owned laptop to play their slideshow. Which she had tried to walk out with. I think that's the whole story. I probably blocked some stuff out. Except there’s one last twist.
We think the original coordinator did this to us on purpose. She didn't leave under the best terms, and confirming the booking was one of the last things she did. She must have known it would go like this.
8. Be Careful What You Wish For
Retired Master Seamstress checking in. This wasn’t a Bridezilla but a Momzilla. I was making her daughter a custom bias-cut gown and had limited fitting time because the bride lived one state over. Now, bias-cut gowns are the devil to begin with. We (mom and I) would work on details between fittings. I would say our working relationship got very frosty.
Each time the bride came for a fitting, she lost weight. Tape measures don't lie. And she was not a big girl to begin with. Mom would scream that her daughter did not lose any weight. After the third fitting, third fight, and the third rebuild of a very complicated gown, I finished it and told them to take the gown and do what they wanted with it.
It was gorgeous but hung loose. The girl lost over 3" over the course of 7-8 weeks. I lost hours of my life, and the $ for the work.
9. Music To My EarsFile:Frank Sinatra (1957 studio portrait photograph).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
I was at the wedding of an ex-boyfriend several years ago and he had planned and practiced singing a Frank Sinatra song to his new wife. He went up and took the mic and, with the band backing him up, began singing the song. His new wife suddenly stomped across the dance floor and up on the stage, grabbed the mic from him, and said, "I HATE that song and I don't want to hear it". They were divorced about a year later.
10. Every Rose Has Its Thorn
I’m a florist. We had this psycho bridezilla and her mother show up at 9 am. They wanted to order a bridal bouquet, a mother of the bride orchid corsage, a boutonniere for the groom, and six smaller ones for the groomsmen. But there was just one thing. The wedding was scheduled for noon. Yep, three hours from then, and they wanted them ready by the time they were done with their makeup appointment at the beauty parlor a few doors down.
The bride was flipping through the sample book and pointing out the style and flowers she wanted. Think garden roses with long sweeping trails of stephanotis and variegated ivy, all three of which would require at least a week's advanced order with our suppliers. She was absolutely gobsmacked that we didn't carry extremely expensive and highly perishable flowers at all times.
Same with the orchid for the mom's corsage. My boss told them that since they didn't place an order beforehand they would be limited to what we had in stock, and simple styles that could be assembled quickly. The bride and her mom kept pointing at the book and arguing that we should have those specific flowers in stock.
My boss eventually took the book off the desk and tossed it behind the counter. The bride vacillated between tears and petulant whining that we were going to ruin her big day. My boss, who had a bone-deep loathing for brides in general, told her she had ruined her own day by not ordering her flowers before her actual wedding day.
The mom tried chewing out my boss for her lack of customer service skills. My boss told her that she was welcome to go down the street to Vons and ask their flower department to make their order with whatever they had in stock. The mom said she'd do just that, and reassured the bride that she'd have her flowers done by the time her appointment was over.
Both women stormed out. I figured that was that, but I was so wrong. My boss told me and the other girl to start on six simple corsages. Meanwhile, she threw together a ribbon-wrapped bridal bouquet with some white roses that were nearly past their prime and some. Sure enough, 20 minutes later the mother slunk back in and meekly asked if we were still able to assemble what they needed.
We did. We also charged her a very large rush fee.
11. All For Naught
I worked for a wedding photographer. This one wedding had this wonderful couple, and they seemed made in heaven. Their wedding album WITHOUT pictures cost two thousand dollars. This thing was made from mirrored glass, and weighed a ton. It was my job to order a bunch of 8x10s that the bride wanted to use in the album. This was actually a nightmare.
This album had no protective sleeves, so every single picture had to be sprayed with a chemical coating and left to dry, in a dust-free area. If it did not dry with a smooth, dust-free finish, I had to remove the chemical coating and try again. I spent most of that week in a tiny closet-sized room, in full respirator mask and protective gloves, spraying those pictures.
But my God, I have to say, it was the best job I’ve ever done. When done, this couple spent over $5,000 on that one album. It was GORGEOUS!....and they divorced before the year was up.
12. Ring Her Upsilver and gold analog watchPhoto by Zetong Li on Unsplash
I used to be a "Bridal Consultant" at a retail store, which basically means I helped couples scan things onto their registry, although the training for it just meant I knew how to use the scanner and the computer, and my actual job had nothing to do with bridal shopping. This one couple came in to start a new registry, which quickly turned into only things the bride wanted.
Anything the groom wanted to put down on the registry was deemed as "childish, stupid, ugly, unpractical, never-going-to-be-used". I was cringing during the entire appointment. She also kept asking for my input or opinion on everything, and I felt so bad for this guy. His bride-to-be seemed so selfish and entitled, and I couldn't believe the fact that he was soon to be married to this woman.
The poor man just wanted a waffle maker, who doesn't want waffles?!
13. Not My First Rodeo
I used to work at a jewelry store. This young guy, about college age, came in one day to look at engagement rings. He was very polite and asking good questions. You could tell he’d been considering this for some time. As I’m helping him and showing him some rings in his budget, she walks in. She’s wearing a t-shirt from the high school senior class from the previous year, and she comes over by him.
“Oh my God, were you seriously considering that ring??? Ugh. It’s so ugly. Besides, it looks just like my LAST engagement ring". How I wish I could have told him to dump her, run for the hills, and don’t look back.
14. Don’t Judge A Cake By Its Cover
I’m a baker here. I wasn't present for the freakout, but it was my fault so...A few months back, I had a bride who wanted a navy to white ombre cake made with white sponge. Now, dark, rich colors like that in white cake SUCK. They always taste terrible because they have so much gel coloring in them to get them just the right color.
However, you can do it OK if they're willing to have the dark layers be chocolate. Navy is especially easy, thanks to blue velvet. I tell her this when we're planning. "But I want white cake!" She says. I tell her I'll do all but the last few in white sponge. She agrees, and I make the darn thing and drop it off. I come back to pick up the staging stuff the next day, and make an awful discovery.
I find my whole freaking cake sitting there. Apparently, when they cut into the thing and fed it to each other, she freaked out over it being chocolate, and refused to let any of the cake be served. Apparently, she forgot that she had agreed to have the bottom tier have two layers of blue velvet, so she threw a massive temper tantrum over “the cake being wrong".
Apparently, she kept talking about how I ruined her wedding, then locked herself in the bridal suite. If she wouldn't have been a little psychopath and let the staff cut the cake like they should have, she would've seen that 90% of the cake was white sponge like she wanted.
15. Sibling Rivalrybaby crawling on bedPhoto by Picsea on Unsplash
I worked at a high-end bridal shop in my early 20s. One day, I had a bride-to-be shopping for a gown. She had brought her mom, aunt, and sister (who had just become a new mom) with her to her appointment. The sister was obviously a little jealous that attention was no longer being lavished on her and her new baby, and instead the bride was the new the center of attention.
As I was fitting the bride in a $2,000 gown, the sister decided to change her newborn’s diaper in the dressing room and proceeded to hold the poop-filled diaper up to the gold-hued gown and exclaim, “Look, the colors almost match!” I excused myself from the room for fresh air and to regain my composure. In my experience, the brides were rarely the problem—the family was!
16. The Polish Princess
I worked at a mom and pop bridal shop. We had a bride who was Polish, leading my boss to call her “the Polish princess". She wasn't my bride, but they picked a very bad consultant for her. This was made worse by the fact that this girl wanted stuff added to her dress that wasn’t done by the manufacturer, so we had to do it all in-house.
To give you an example, she wanted lights all around the bottom half of a dress that we had already spliced with two different dresses. Side note: my boss loved anything that meant money. Anyway, we spent months fixing and refitting this dress because she not only lost 45 pounds from her first time being measured, she also got plastic surgery on her chest.
Well, after finally fitting her into her gown, on the last week she decided the lights that took our poor 70-year-old seamstress two months to sew in looked tacky. She was crying and throwing herself at her mother in a tantrum, screaming in Polish. She then ripped the bottom of the dress and ultimately had to buy a dress from David's Bridal because my boss finally got smart and kicked her out.
Just a mess. She made our seamstress cry!!!!! The witch.
17. It’s Not What It Looks Like
Not 30 minutes ago, I had someone accuse our deaf tailor of recording her on his phone as she tried on dresses and walked around in them...Uh, no. He was Facetiming his wife as he walked through the store. When she found out the truth, she was very embarrassed, but not enough to apologize to any of us for screaming through the store.
18. A Modern Romeo And Julietblack and yellow no smoking signPhoto by Noah Holm on Unsplash
I work at a hotel that does a huge amount of wedding business, and we had an engagement shower, with the plan being that the couple would be having the wedding with us as well. This involved the bride-to-be and, to an extent, her mother. We knew there were going to be issues because neither the bride or groom ever smiled.
The bride was always complaining about how the groom was "wishy-washy" with picking a date, while he was always silent. The mother of the bride was your stereotypical Brooklyn Jewish Mother and had her hand in EVERYTHING to make sure things were perfect for her little princess. Well, the engagement party starts, and everyone except for the couple seem to be having a great time.
Then, halfway through the party, we suddenly heard the girl scream at her fiancé "WE WILL NEVER HAVE A CHRISTMAS TREE IN MY HOUSE, SO YOU CAN GET OVER IT!!!!" And from there it devolved into a shouting match between the couple, who moved from the banquet room to the lobby so their "guests" couldn't hear the argument. (Didn't work. They heard everything).
Apparently, she was Jewish and he was Protestant and not once in their relationship had they discussed religion. They went at it on and off for two hours. She was screaming at the top of her lungs about how their (non-existent) children would be raised Jewish, and how his traditions didn't matter. Her mother was standing at her side, nodding in agreement, and interjecting occasionally with a "that's right" or "you tell him".
The groom was pleading for her to at least compromise to let him at least invite his pastor from his hometown for the wedding, and said that their (non-existent) children could possibly do things with his parents for Christmas, even if they didn't celebrate. The guests just kept partying, pretending nothing was happening, but you could see on all of their faces that they wanted to leave.
Only, well, they couldn't since they would have to pass by the couple to get to the only exit. Only after two hours and the argument eventually devolving into her INSISTING her children would never see a Christmas tree in their whole lives, the groom finally dejectedly said, "Well then maybe this isn't going to work".
She threw her ring at him and said, I swear to god, "THEN WHY DID YOU LET ME MAKE YOU PROPOSE?!?!?!?!?!?!" She then changed her mind, picked up the ring, and said, "Whatever. I'm keeping this". Then she stormed off. Her mother looked at her ex-potential-son-in-law, told him he was an idiot for letting her baby go, and went after her.
I've NEVER seen a banquet room clear out so fast. Within 15 minutes, everyone was gone and it was a ghost town. From the looks of it, everyone took their "gifts" with them, too. Worse still, it was the former bride's family who had hosted and were staying at the hotel, so we spent the next two days "commiserating" with them about how awful the groom was as they moved their daughter out of his apartment.
Dude dodged a bullet.
19. The Mask Comes Off
Not a wedding shop worker, but I was at the wedding when it happened. As the bride was walking up the aisle in her dress, she tripped over her gown. And instead of just getting up and moving on, she let loose an absolute huge tantrum and started screaming at everyone. And then it got worse. When her dad tried to console her, she just slugged her dad in the face.
Then she started just throwing stuff everywhere, screaming about this wreck of a day and screaming about hurting the tailor for making the dress too long. She just lost it and proceeded to rip up her own dress and run out of the church half-dressed into the rain. I mean, I know the stress is high but oh my god, she lost her freaking mind.
20. Too Much Of A Good Thing
Bridal consultant here! My most memorable appointment was a party that showed up completely sheets-to-the-wind. It wasn't unusual for bridal parties to have a little "tailgate" style party in our parking lot before coming into our store. Often they'd have mimosas or a shot or two to loosen up before the scary gown search.
This party, however, must have finished a full bottle between the five of them. They didn't appear too sloppy when we first got started, but about half an hour into the appointment it was pretty obvious that they were way too gone to be in the setting they were in. I had to prop the bride up with her nose in the corner of her fitting room to lace her corsets because she couldn't stand.
Each time we stepped out onto the stage, the bridesmaids would scream, Beatlemania style, until they were red in the face. Eventually, my manager came to me and said, very sternly, "Sell to this girl and get. them. out of here". The appointment ended when she fell for a gown $700 over budget, her most tipsy bridesmaid swiped her own credit card to cover it, and then one of them sprayed a brown bodily fluid of some kind over our ENTIRE toilet.
21. My Plate’s Fullperson holding clear wine glassPhoto by Davey Gravy on Unsplash
I’m a restaurant manager. The wedding dinner was on a Sunday, so instead of the usual one manager on, we had the banquet coordinator come on for a few hours to make sure everyone was happy. They were a rich couple and we wanted more of their business. Their menu was $119 a person and they had $80 bottles of red on the table.
So guests start to arrive and obviously start ordering drinks. At this point, the bride and mother see this and approach the head server. They tell her that everyone except the head table are to get separate bills, and that they are not planning on paying for anything but what's at the head table. Server finds us, tells us what's happening, and the banquet manager heads over to figure out what's going on.
It seems that the bride and her mother decided that their guests should have to pay, but they didn't want to be the bad guys so they expected us to have to tell the guests. We tell the people who have already arrived. Half of them laugh, thinking it's a joke. Once we told them it really was the truth, they laughed and left. My job became to stay at the front and tell all the people arriving for the dinner that they are going to be responsible for their whole bill, and what the costs were.
The final guest count was 20 people, and we ended up threatening court action against the family since they signed the banquet sheet stating that they agreed on 60 dinners. So the best part of this all was that they paid for the full 60 dinners, plus gratuity, and only had 20 people actually there, all because they wanted to save some money.
22. If The Shoe Fits
My experience with a Bridezilla happened at my great aunt's house. She has a private lake and a lovely setup for a small, country-style outdoor wedding. The mother of the groom was a close friend of hers, so my aunt was happy to open up her home for the event. I got the feeling leading up to the wedding that the groom's family didn't care much for the bride, and after witnessing her throwing a temper tantrum over the placement of the food table because it started to rain, I kind of started to see why.
Listening to the way she talked to everyone around her appalled me. She was a complete spoiled brat, and really was lucky that everyone didn't just leave the wedding completely...I wouldn't have blamed them a bit. However, the worst was the fact that she decided that she wanted her bridesmaids to walk barefoot...in the muddy, wet grass.
See, she had them buy new boots to wear specifically with their dresses. Anyone who has ever bought cowboy boots knows that they are upwards of $100, and she picked out pink ones to match their pink dresses. All five of the bridesmaids had to buy these boots on top of whatever they had to pay for the dress. But she decides 10 minutes before the wedding starts that she doesn't want them to wear them.
Of course, everyone complies with her and pacifies her and the wedding goes well. Although it got pretty tense during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part. Not surprised to hear that the marriage didn't make it to six months. She was the most selfish person I've ever met, and I'm convinced that she didn't want to get married at all, she just wanted all the attention on her.
23. Daddy’s Little Girl
I worked as a banquet server at a ritzy, riverfront hotel. People come from all over to have expensive overpriced weddings. So needless to say, many of our brides were Bridezillas to some extreme. Our summer season is very expensive. Usually, our local brides only get married there in the off-season to save some of their cash.
One local bride that I will forever remember, however, went absolutely crazy. Before the wedding even started, one groomsman left because he couldn’t stand her demands. We were all in the ballroom setting up as we normally do. At this particular wedding, the bride had a wedding planner who set the centerpieces, which were a pretty general country theme.
The bride storms in, literally has a temper tantrum that they are not right because the candle was supposed to be on the left and not the right. We fix it no problem even though it was not us but her wedding planner who set them. Now, you’d think that would be all…but no. One of her bridesmaids lost her bouquet right before the ceremony.
Instead of troubleshooting, she completely berates and humiliates her bridesmaid. Then starts stomping her feet and saying, “Dadddddyyyyy” like a two-year-old. This was over and over again. To her, every little detail was wrong in some way, shape, or form. Needless to say, I was so glad I wasn’t responsible for the bride and groom’s table that day.
24. Picture Imperfectman in black suit holding black nikon dslr cameraPhoto by Natilyn Photography on Unsplash
As someone who has done a fair amount of wedding photography, one particular Bridezilla stands out for me. She abhorred the engagement photos and insisted that I must have used a warped lens or something that made her look fat. She readily admitted that her fiancé, who was standing right next to her in the photos, looked fine and normal, but there absolutely had to be lens distortion or something else that made her look significantly heavier than she really was.
That was awesome. I waived the fee for the engagement shoot and scheduled another at no cost to see if I could placate her. I recommended colors for her to wear that would “compliment her skin tone” and scheduled the second shoot for the golden hour where the light would be most complimentary, since she had insisted on the first shoot being at noon.
Two days after the second shoot, I delivered the photos and she was content enough to agree that I could be honored enough to be their wedding photographer. We (my assistant and I) get to the wedding location an hour early. We took literally hundreds of shots of pre-wedding preparations, all of the family shots that could be done with the family who actually showed up on time, and everything else that was agreed upon.
We shot the wedding as discussed. After the formal ceremony, we continued to shoot more casual shots, cake cutting, first dance, the reception, and everything else that was agreed upon. At that point, the dinner was being served. Again, as previously agreed upon, I wasn't going to shoot a bunch of people jamming food into their faces and it was time for a break anyway.
Her mother, who was actually the one paying me, invited myself and my assistant to discreetly grab a plate of food and sit at the back of the reception area and relax for a few minutes. The bridezilla came completely unglued at that point. She stood up and literally shrieked that “the photographer isn't here to eat, he's here to take photos and make me look good!"
The entire clubhouse went silent and all eyes turned to me. I set my fork down, glanced at the Bridezilla's mother, and then back at the entire ballroom and mumbled through an apology that wasn't warranted but somehow seemed necessary. Then I got my revenge. I proceeded to aim my camera directly at the fat witch while she chewed every last bite of her meal and jammed seemingly endless desserts into her maw.
Shortly thereafter, her mother and brand new regretful husband approached me and suggested that despite our contract to shoot through the duration of the reception, it might be better if I go ahead and call it a night. So I left. Very happily, I might add. The next day, as I was starting to do post-production edits on the photos, the psycho called me.
She screamed about how there was no way they were paying for the photos (that she hadn't even seen yet) and that she was going to call the local TV station to make sure I never got work again. "Ok," I said, "I understand you're upset. Please enjoy your honeymoon and we can discuss this later". And I guess I kind of hung up on her.
Half an hour later, her mother called me. She assured me that the bill would be paid in full and apologized profusely for how her daughter acted. I got paid in full. EVERYONE in the family was perfectly happy with the wedding photos except the Bridezilla. Her mother thanked me for my patience. Her husband thanked me for my tolerance.
And I thanked the powers-that-be that I'd never have to see or deal with the atrocious with again.
25. Dance Like Everyone’s Watching
I was the DJ for a wedding where the bride, who was from a very wealthy family, was not expected to live past childhood. Imagine, if you will, a girl who was raised having never heard the word "no". Her entire childhood was one big Make-a-Wish. She had a zest for life. She loved to dance, so much so that her parents were building her a giant lake house with a disco club; like a room just for dancing.
She was marrying a man several years her senior who she met at a dance class. He was just like a character out of a movie who charms older women and then takes their fortunes, except this was a much younger woman. The request list for the wedding reception was a lot of early 90s high-energy dance music. After dinner, and I've done this hundreds of times, dancing starts.
I decided to kick off dancing with the bride's favorite song, which was Technotronic’s “Pump up the Jam". Until this moment, I had nothing but pleasant interactions with this woman, who genuinely seemed to appreciate life for how precious it truly is. Before the beat could even drop, however, she was running over to me screaming, tearing into me for ruining her wedding.
It was a spectacle and the guests watched in horror as she berated me. Apparently, she wasn't ready to dance yet, and I was playing the song that she was most looking forward to dancing to on her wedding day. I was forced to stop the song cold and the only sound was her screaming as I fumbled to find some cocktail music to throw on until she was ready to dance.
At the end of the night, most brides come up and hug me and thank me for a wonderful night. I didn't get so much as an icy stare; it was as if I didn't even exist to her anymore. Her father came up and gave me a $400 gratuity. His words offered a simple apology, but you could tell they carried the weight of the monster he'd created.
26. A Match Made In Heaven
I use to be a photographer’s assistant back in high school. I remember this one bride before the wedding kept yelling at my boss about me helping with photos as she didn’t want some “stupid kid” to ruin her wedding photos. She also kept calling her soon-to-be husband, berating him. I ended up getting sent to do the groom’s photos while my boss handled the bridezilla.
As soon as I walked into the room where the groom and his friends were getting ready, I almost puked because it smelled like a distillery. The guy was on the phone with the bridezilla on speaker while drinking and shaking his head. I could barely walk through the room with all the bottles on the floor and suitcases everywhere. Yeah, I don’t think they’re gonna make it.
27. When It Rains, It Poursphoto of body of water and dropletsPhoto by Alex Dukhanov on Unsplash
Photographer here. The couple opted for an outdoor wedding with no weather backup option and, lo and behold, it started pouring literally five minutes before the ceremony. The guests and groom ran for cover under the reception tent. After it didn't let up, the groom made a mad dash to the door of the RV the bride was getting ready in, because she nor any of the bridesmaids were answering their phones.
She made the poor guy stand outside in the pouring rain while she screamed and cussed that she was NOT getting married under the tent and everyone would just have to wait until it stopped raining. This was the middle of July, so even the rain was hot and sticky, and there were a lot of elderly family members with health issues in attendance sitting in 80-degree heat for over an hour.
The cake had also started melting. I honestly wasn't sure if the wedding was going to happen at one point, but it eventually stopped raining and the bride married her soaked groom and ate wedding cake soup.
28. Tailor-Made For Each Other
I work at David's Bridal. Most of the times...it's not the bride. It's a mother of the bride or maid of honor. I work in alterations, and believe me, it takes more than one appointment to get things perfect. So one day, this bride comes in for her second appointment for us to do any adjustments. Predictably, she needed a couple of things adjusted.
Her mother told me I ruined her daughter's marriage. Not wedding...but marriage. All I could think was that if needing to adjust something on your dress and having to come back for one more appointment makes you think someone ruined your perfect life with someone...well...good luck to her groom. I don’t want to be near those two.
29. Hey Mr. DJ
I’m a photographer. During more than a dozen years in this business, I've had almost nothing but fantastic clients, real sweethearts, and consider myself lucky. Almost. The exception was a New York bride who was so angry because it rained cats and dogs on her wedding day. I’m not sure if she understood I wasn't in charge of making the weather.
She had wanted to take golf carts to the beach with the wedding party to do fun photos there, but that clearly didn't happen. Her foul mood spoiled a bit of the wedding. Good thing everyone else still appeared to be having a good time regardless. She managed to stay (barely) polite to her vendors, but weeks later she unleashed on me.
I had delivered, among I don't know how many hundreds of photos, two shots of the DJ. She calculated that those photos, based on my fee, had cost her $14, and was almost comically displeased about that. She also flipped her wig because, she told me angrily, she'd observed me eating a few canapés during the reception—and at three dollars apiece, how did I not understand those were not intended for the hired help!
I offered to refund her $23 and inquired where she wanted me to send the check. At that point, she calmed down a bit, possibly realizing how ridiculous she was being, and then volunteered that maybe she was being a bit irrational at the moment...because she was pregnant. Of course, I offered my congratulations. She grudgingly told me to keep the check.
I did put a baby gift (a silver rattle) in the mail to her a few weeks later. I hope she and her husband and the baby lived happily ever after!
30. If The Shoe Fitspair of men's brown leather loafersPhoto by Jia Ye on Unsplash
I’m not a bridal worker, but I stood up in a friend's wedding. Less than 48 hours before the wedding, the bride suddenly decided that the shoes that came with our tuxes weren't to her liking. She wanted me and the groom to go to various stores and get some “better” shoes for the big day. My friend, the groom-to-be, was totally stressed out with all the various loose ends he had to tie up before the wedding.
Including, apparently, trying to find different shoes. Fortunately, I was able to talk some sense into him. I told him first that there just wasn't enough time to go shoe shopping and second, there are only four basic types of dress shoes for guys: shiny or not shiny, with laces or without. Finally, I said that no one cares what kind of shoes the groom and groomsmen wear.
He came to his senses and was able to persuade his now-wife that new shoes were unnecessary.
31. It’s A Doggone Shame
I work for a wedding venue, and the couple wanted to bring their dogs for the ceremony. The day of the wedding, everyone working has a list of jobs to do to get ready for the big day. All of my fellow employees are setting up everything, so the couple's families can get ready and relax. We set out the chairs, decorations, flowers, tables, silverware, the dining room, the Arbor, EVERYTHING!!
The only thing they had to do was hold onto the dogs. Spoiler: They didn't. We finished everything on the inside in the morning, and we were almost done finishing everything outside, when we all hear a massive crash on the inside of our massive event room. It was the dogs. One had started with the wedding cake and accompanying artsy cupcakes.
The other moved into (on top of) the beverages tables where they broke around 80 flutes, 60 stemless glasses, and around 120ish glasses, along with four crystal punch bowls and all the accompanying liquids. And they did it all within a few seconds. Needless to say, the bride and groom’s "handler" was their 15-year-old nephew.
This boy, in his eternal wisdom, thought that he would let them run around a bit before the wedding. When the bride walked out of the changing rooms and down the hall to see the noise, she was not happy at the sight of the horrors that took place. She lost her mind, blaming us for everything, screaming, “Why did you let the dogs into the room?” etc etc.
She said she didn't care how, but to get this all ready before the reception or she would sue us for all we were worth. We took the "I don't care how" to heart. We called every business within a 10-mile radius and bought, borrowed, bartered, and did everything we could. All the glasses, all the wine, the drinks. I was in charge of driving the boss’s car to the nearest bakery and forcing the bakery to make a serviceable wedding cake with everything they had.
I was a little late on bringing the cake back, but everything else had been cleaned, reset, and back to its former glory before the wedding ceremony was over. After the night was over and the bride and groom left, we gave everything back we borrowed, boxed up what we bought, and started shelling out the favors. We tallied up all the damages the dogs had caused and what the wedding cost.
It was in the five-digit range. The couple was understandably angry at the bill, so they did indeed sue…they lost. And to my knowledge, they are still leaving 1-star reviews on every rating website out there for us.
32. Get A Room
I worked management at a resort in a popular tourist town. When weddings are booked at our venue with the event coordinator, we can hold a certain number of rooms for guests attending. A manager was always required to check in the bridal couple, and I had been given a heads up by the coordinator that this particular bride was a Bridezilla.
First, they wanted a room on the highest floor and closer to the beach. Thing is, they were already booked into the Honeymoon Suite, which was on the third floor with ocean views. Nope, she wanted higher and closer. Had an absolute meltdown at the front desk when I explained there was nothing higher...or closer. I mean, really.
A colleague of mine ran for the event coordinator when the bride started screaming at me and her husband-to-be. The husband was very apologetic and trying to calm her down. Eventually, she was placated and sent off with keys, but fewer than 30 minutes later she was back and demanding we empty the rooms next to and below her.
Honey, those rooms cost $640 a night and we are fully booked! I was lucky enough to not be working the night of the wedding, but I heard all about her screaming at the wait staff, kicking the band out for playing a song she didn’t like, and the screaming match she got into with her mother-in-law. What a peach! All counted up, the wedding was about $40,000 and she made everyone miserable.
The groom left our front desk staff a big tip to apologize for her behavior.
33. The Water Worksassorted flower bouquet near flower shopPhoto by Roman Kraft on Unsplash
I own a gift shop and I also sell flowers. It's in a small hospital so we don't do too many flowers. Usually, it’s just small arrangements because our customers generally don't want to spend over 20 bucks. One day, one of the women who works at the hospital asked us if we would make a bridal bouquet for her future daughter-in-law.
We decided we would do it just for her. We made this beautiful bouquet exactly how she wanted it, and even added some extra embellishments. She picked it up the day before the wedding and I told her to just gently spray water from a spray bottle on it to keep it hydrated. I even demonstrated how to do it. The mother-in-law came in the next Monday and told me something awful.
Apparently, the night before the wedding the bride had literally sat the bouquet in the sink and drenched it with water which obviously ruined it. The bride wanted to demand a refund but the mother-in-law told her no because it was her own fault. So yeah, after that one I probably won't work with brides again. Too high strung.
34. The Mother Of All Insults
Not a wedding shop, but we sold kitchenware. Think china, cookware, etc. It was like a Williams Sonoma store. The bride, mother of the bride, and mother of the groom were all shopping and filling out the wedding registry list. The groom’s mom was pointing to an item and said something to the bride. The mother of the bride turned to the other mother and snapped, “Your job is to shut up and wear blue".
We placed bets on if that marriage would last.
35. A Wandering Eye
I worked at a church that had weddings in the DC area. The worst bride I dealt with was part of an insanely rich couple. They showed up in a Lamborghini, I think, and the groom kept asking if it was safe to park the car out front. I think he was just trying to show off the car, and he also wondered if his father's Bentley would be safe in the alley behind the church.
We were in DC, so he was lucky we had any parking at all. Then the bride was walking around talking about all the extravagant things she was wanting for the wedding, and pointing to things saying, "This will never do". The worst thing was that every time the bride turned her back, the groom kept on staring at my chest.
It was strange. His bride looked like a supermodel, and he was very good-looking himself; I don't know why he had to sleaze on church workers. After that and other demanding people, I told the church I don't want to do weddings, so now volunteers for the church do it.
36. A Bull In A China Shopwoman standing inside clothing areaPhoto by Korie Cull on Unsplash
Do Groomzillas count? I used to work as a bridal registry consultant for a big department store. I had several nightmare couples and family members, but I always think of this one guy. The bride was pleasant enough and very polite. She expressed great excitement when discussing the plans for the wedding, while the groom just seemed bored.
She was very excited to pick out fine china—and that’s when the groom snapped. He yelled at her and called her an idiot, then told her that there was no need for expensive things like that. He said they would never use them, while she insisted that she would find reasons to use them so they wouldn’t go to waste. She also said that her family insisted on her picking a pattern and they would all chip in to get the set.
She was nice enough and patient enough with this jerk that she even kept asking him what he liked. Well, the groom didn't like anything and kept yelling at her, telling her that she was "wasting his time" and that she was stupid. It was getting really uncomfortable at that point. I tried to intervene as much as I could, but this groom was complete scum.
Eventually, he stormed off and I tried to keep everything light-hearted and happy for the bride. I hope she didn't go through with that wedding.
37. Horsing Around
I worked for a small regional newspaper. It must have been a quiet week for stories, so my editor sends me off to cover the wedding of the son of one of our biggest advertisers. I make contact with the family to get details, and get told to meet them at a carpark behind the community hall, as the bride would be riding a horse up the main street to the quaint little stone Anglican church (how romantic! swoon).
So I get there and here's the bride in a massive, poofy, white fairy princess dress. The bride had to hoist the dress up to her armpits to get on the horse and ride with it bunched around her hips with her legs from the knee down poking out beneath. Apparently the decision to ride was a rather last-minute one. But what's this? There are two horses!
It seems the mother-of-the-bride wanted some of the attention cough I mean, she wanted to be part of her daughter's special day. So the mother is in a lovely lilac jacket, white blouse...and a very tight knee-length skirt. The sort of skirt that makes walking hard, let alone stepping up to a stirrup or swinging your leg over a saddle.
Oh, and huge stiletto heels that she refused to take off, even to get on the horse. The mother ended up having to roll her skirt up to her belt and get two hefty blokes to hoist her onto the horse. Then roll her skirt back down enough so she could tuck it under her butt and not be flashing her knickers up the main street. And away they went.
It was early afternoon in a pretty touristy town, so the echo of clip-clopping hooves brought everyone out of cafes and shops for a look. Took some very creative photography to cover that disaster discretely!
38. Don’t Bug Me
My brother and sister-in-law used to own a bakery, and wedding cakes were their primary moneymaker. If a couple had an outdoor wedding, we would always warn them that the cake needed a net around it to protect it from bugs. Most couples understood it and usually had a net around it, or else didn’t care. So anyway, this one bride wanted an extravagant wedding cake.
The middle section was a four-tier cake—two tiers on the bottom pillars with columns and two tiers on the top. Then she wanted four other sets of a four-tier cake that had stairs connecting the middle section. On the stairs were small dolls that were supposed to resemble the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Each cake was also a different flavor as well.
Oh but we’re not done yet. Then on the bottom, a waterfall. In short, this cake was ugly. The reception was also close to a creek, so that means lots of bugs. We strongly urged her to use a net around it. She declined. We also made her sign a waiver excluding us from any liability after the cake was dropped off. We have this wedding as our last drop-off as it was hot and we didn’t want the frosting to melt by sitting in the hot sun all day.
We also freeze the cakes a day or two before so by the time it’s ready to cut, the cake is de-thawed but the frosting is still intact. This is how it went downhill. We arrive to start assembling the cake and I noticed little tiny gnats already in the cake. We did a quick fix to eliminate the problem but alert the people there (again) that they needed something to protect the cake.
Again, by time it’s ready to serve, it will be covered in bugs. We show them the problem, but they didn’t seem to care. So whatever, she signed the waiver, we finished and left. Well, my sister-in-law gets a phone call around 8 pm that night with an angry bride. She wanted us to make and redecorate the exact cake and bring it to her within an hour.
There is no way in heck we would or could do that. Since I am better at customer service than my brother and his wife, she handed me the phone and I explained to the bride, “I feel your frustration in the matter, however, you were informed of the dangers of setting up a cake outside, in the country, with no protection".
I asked her if she had any more questions. She threw a big humph and hung up on me.
39. Won’t Somebody Think Of The Children?a couple of people that are standing in the grassPhoto by Anthea Lawrence on Unsplash
I worked at a wedding venue in college. This isn't so much a Bridezilla story as it is just a bizarre...bizarre wedding. It was a 70-top, pretty small for our venue and banquet style, but this was actually less pressure on the servers. We basically just had to keep things running smoothly from ceremony to reception to send-off. It was an easy night for us…not for them.
First, they got married in our vineyard. One of the little kids was the ring-bearer and he dropped the ring. A few staff members were out for two hours searching through the brush for it, to no avail. We think one of the geese ate it. Next, the reception. It was closer to a daycare because more than half of that 70 headcount was children under 10.
The groom was super great with them, like maybe he was a teacher or something. The bride didn't interact with them at all, and overall seemed to have a lot of disdain for them. At one point, the groom even procured a guitar from somewhere and was having a sing-along on the floor with the kids. Meanwhile, the bride was just off eating her dinner alone at the little sweethearts' table.
Last, the cake. How it works: The bride and groom cut the cake out on the floor so everyone can get pictures and people cheer, then two servers bring the rest of the cake back to my station where we cut and dish out the rest of the slices for the guests. We separate the top of the cake and pack it for the bride and groom to take with them.
The intent is they share it on their first anniversary, as you guys probably know. Well, this cake went fast, because kids probably. So as we were finishing up the station and packing the top, groom comes back and tells us to cut the top. We double-check that is ok…turns out he went behind the bride's back because the kids wanted more cake.
She didn't look all too thrilled with her wedding day, or with the groom. I didn't see them interact all night, and sometimes I wonder if they are still together.
40. Family Feud
Wedding Officiant here. The bride was a wonderful young woman, albeit short, chubby, and slightly “frumpy". But a sweet girl and very happy, and very in love. The mom was just the opposite: tall, willowy, blonde, and overly made up. After the wedding, the mom showed up at the reception. Everyone looked at her and gasped all together.
She came in an extra-tight off-white dress. It was backless and with a thigh slit up to her waistline. She had stiletto heels that would have been more at home on the pole, not at a wedding. Once the wedding itself was over, the mom made it all about her. She was the first person on the dance floor, worked the room at the reception, and did table-to-table flirting with every man in the room (including me).
It was sad watching the bride slowly slip back into her shell, eclipsed by her mother. On her wedding day.
41. A Little To The Left
I used to cater wedding receptions in college. This momzilla shows up to the reception hall about 30 minutes before everyone is due to arrive. She thinks that one of the tables is too close to another table, and asks that we move it about five inches. Okay. But then of course all the OTHER tables are now too close, and she insists that we move every single table in the venue over five inches.
All 16 of them. We manage to scurry and move them, but you know what happens when you move 16 tables? Every single chair doesn't match the place setting now. We manage to move every single chair (over 160) right before the first guests arrive, never mind that it's taken up time we should have been prepping for guests by filling water pitchers, etc. and we're now behind.
Crazy mom THEN insists that every fork is slightly too close to every plate. We now politely tell her we won't be moving 160 forks—and she has a fit. Luckily, we stood our ground, and that mother did not get what she wanted that day.
42. The Writing’s On The Wallpeople hands with tattoesPhoto by Vitaliy Lyubezhanin on Unsplash
So, I do Henna tattoos. Usually, I work a booth at either a theme park or fair, and occasionally I work at this little shop in the downtown area of where I live. I’m finishing up my shift at a local theme park when the lady at the shop calls me in a complete panic. A bridal party has come in with no warning, and not only does the bride want the full traditional wedding henna done, but she wants henna on her bridesmaids as well.
A total of 20 people who need hands and feet done, and the bride who wants hands, feet, and her back done in henna. I get to the shop and there are now two of us who can do the designs the bride has asked for. The bride takes one look at me and says she won’t let me do the henna for her or any of her party. I’m white. I currently have rainbow hair done up in a pixie cut. I also tend to give people the impression that I am gay.
So, after hearing this witch of a bride spout off about how a white girl can’t possibly do henna right, I point to the pictures in the example book—because they were all done by me. Then I took my happy butt home, turned my phone off, and had a nice nap before going to my other job. I later found out that the bride ended up storming out of the shop when she found out there simply was no way to do it.
I still wonder if she found someone to do it. The best part was, a lot of her wedding party were white girls as well, so I guess it’s okay for them to wear it but not for a white girl to know how to apply it.
43. Runaway Bride
I’m not a wedding shop worker, but I do have a pretty incredible Bridezilla story. My sister and I were asked to be bridesmaids by a mutual acquaintance. We both thought it was odd that she asked both of us and not someone closer to her, but either way, we planned a wonderful weekend in a resort town three hours away for her bachelorette party with the other two bridesmaids, who were her friends.
She started the weekend pouty and on her phone for most of the time. All in all, she seemed totally ungrateful for the good time we were trying to give her. Things got better when we broke out the hard stuff in our hotel room later. Then we saw a band at a bar, and there were other bridal parties there. She was fine for a while, dancing and having fun, until one of the other bridal parties sat down near us and started getting more attention.
They were all young cute girls and the band was flirting with them, guys were asking the bride to dance...and all of a sudden my bride sat down and began furiously texting on her phone. We asked what was wrong, and she would only say that she wasn’t having fun anymore and wanted to go home. We were all like, “Okay, let’s call a cab and go back to the hotel".
And she was like, “No, I want to go HOME". Which was three hours away. We were all drinking, so no one could drive her home. She storms out of the bar and begins calling people who none of us know to come and pick up her in the middle of the night because her fiancé isn’t answering his phone. She steadfastly refuses to get a cab; she says she’s going to stand in the parking lot for hours until someone picks her up.
She even made us miss a bus that could have driven us to the hotel for free because she simply refused to move. That was what made me snap. I screamed at her. I’ve never in my adult life screamed at another adult like that. I told her that she was going to get in a car and go back to the hotel, because we weren’t going to leave her out here all alone and we certainly weren’t going to stand in a bar parking lot for hours while she waited for someone to pick her up.
And she finally relented. We got into a cab and got back to the hotel. Bride is still texting, not speaking to any of us now because I yelled at her. When we got to the hotel, she refused to come inside. She stood in that awkward space between the two double doors and refused to move again. Myself and one of her friends went up to the room to pack her stuff, while my sister and the other friend stayed downstairs to make sure she didn’t bolt on us or something.
She finally got a hold of her fiancé, who agreed to drive down and fetch her. My sister said that when Bridezilla finally decided to talk, she witched about how she was mad at US because “we hadn’t helped her enough". I was livid. We’d gone to wedding expos with her, helped her pick out her dress, picked out our dresses, and we’d planned an entire weekend for her bachelorette party.
We spent hundreds of dollars to make her happy, but that wasn’t good enough for her. And while I was up in the hotel room gathering her stuff with her other friend, I learned the whole truth. She’s been previously married, had multiple foreclosures and court dates because of unpaid debts, and had two children she no longer had custody of—all things I had no idea about even though I’d known her for years.
I’m not sure if her fiancé knew it either! When her fiancé did arrive, she didn’t even greet or thank him. She just blew right past him and sat in his car. Her behavior was like a petulant teenager, and this woman was in her late 30s. It was unbelievable. But in the end, my sister and I bonded with the other two bridesmaids over the tumultuous situation, and now we’re friends. And the wedding was astoundingly uneventful. So I guess I’m happy with that!
44. Straight And Narrow
I’ve been DJing weddings for about 10 years. Most brides relax by the time I really get to work, and most of the time the groom is in charge of the music. So I don’t have too many stories—however, one bride was really, really into her wedding being symmetrical. She measured the entire room and wanted everything placed at the exact places she requested.
I had to measure the distance my table was from the wall and the other tables, I had to measure the distance my speakers were from each other and the dance floor. On the day, she was upset at me because I failed to inform her that I had lighting for the dance floor and she wished that she had time to determine where to place them.
45. Doomed From The Startperson holding orange fruit near green leavesPhoto by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash
I am a florist, and I serviced a Bridezilla and groom without a hitch on my end. On their end? They had to go out of state to get married because they had protective orders against each other!
46. A Cake Walk
I once worked in a bakery, and we had this bride freak out that her cake wasn't right, and she proceeded to smash it to bits with her fist. Well, she smashed the wrong cake. Like what the heck. Anyways, the authorities allowed her to wash her hands before placing her in handcuffs. I felt bad for the future husband and the couple that ordered said cake. People are cray cray.
47. Photo Finish
Wedding band member here. I had a bride flip out at me and my bandmates because our instruments weren't white or salmon-colored to fit in with the decorations. She was saying we would ruin the photographs…even though I was playing during the reception and all the photos were already taken. A sunburst jazz bass, blue Stratocaster and a red drum set aren't going to ruin your pictures, darling.
48. This One Takes The Cakeperson holding ballpoint pen writing on white paperPhoto by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash
I worked as a wedding planner and coordinator, and one bride stands out to me because she was so inconsistent with all the vendors. She was a complete sweetheart to me during the planning phase and I never saw any of the crazy until the day of the wedding. It was honestly like a Jekyll/Hyde moment. She wanted a big wedding, around 300 people, and spent a lot of money on the venue and food and wanted the best for everything.
No complaints about paying for it either, never asked for discounts or anything like that. And since she wanted the best and seemed to have a really large budget, I referred her to a popular baker for the cake. I let her handle the logistics for the cake since I've worked with this baker before and never had any problems. I figured they would do the standard cake tasting, pick a design with the baker, and I would see a gorgeous masterpiece on the day of the wedding.
Well, that didn't really work out. For some reason, she didn't want to tell the baker that it was for a wedding. I'm guessing she read that you can save money by ordering a regular cake because some vendors will automatically add an extra charge if it's for a wedding. By the way, this is true to some extent, but the extra charge truly is there for a reason.
Whenever something is for a wedding, the vendor puts in much more care, stresses about the timing, execution, etc. way more than usual, and often times will go all out and use premium materials or add upgrades. Not all of us are just adding extra charges for no reason. Anyways, she decided she didn't want to pay for a wedding cake so she told the baker it was for a birthday party.
The baker asked how many people the cake would need to serve and she said "around 50". She also didn't want to pay the delivery fee, so she had her sister pick up the cake on the morning of the wedding and bring it to the event. At this point, it's important to mention one huge thing. We live in Texas and this is a summer wedding.
So by the time the cake got to the venue—about six hours after it was picked up from the bakery—it didn't look all that great anymore. Some of the decorations had melted, the cake got a little banged up in the car ride, there was icing on the inside of the box, and the entire cake was sagging on one side. It was also way too small for a wedding of her size.
I saw it and it looked like a complete disaster. But at this point, we're about an hour away from the start of the wedding and there's no possible way to fix this. The bride comes into the reception room with her makeup all done When she sees it, she unravels. Screaming, crying, throwing things, collapsing on the floor. Complete meltdown.
She threatens to cancel the whole wedding if we can't fix it. We try to calm her down as much as we can and grab the makeup artist before she leaves and ask if she can help fix the bride's makeup, which is a mess now. The bride sees herself in the mirror and has another meltdown because she ruined her hair and makeup and now wants to have the whole thing re-done.
After she gets everything done to perfection again, we're about an hour behind schedule. I let the guests come inside the reception room to wait because it seemed cruel to force everyone to sit outside in 100-degree heat, but when the bride saw that everyone was inside she had another meltdown. She spent the entire wedding sulking with a scowl on her face, and refused to take any pictures with people.
Her new husband kept coming over to hug her and try to cheer her up, and she would either yell at him or give him the silent treatment. Most of the guests left very early because the atmosphere felt so uncomfortable. So, pretty much a waste of the $200,000 budget for a lavish wedding, all because she wanted to save a couple hundred bucks on the cake.
49. Thirsting For More
Wedding coordinator here! I've found the moms are usually worse than the brides. I worked a wedding this past summer with a ridiculous Momzilla. During the rehearsal, she handed me the box of decorations and said, "Don't you dare make this look tacky". On the day of the wedding, she arrived and came up to ask me where the wedding programs were.
I told her there weren't any programs in any of the boxes and she proceeded scream at me for losing them and then decided that I took them. She also asked that we build a water station for the guests, but instructed us that she didn't want the guests to have access to it until after the ceremony. It was 90 degrees that day and the ceremony was outside, so that did not go over well.
And when the guests complained that they were thirsty and we weren't letting them go to the water station, she told them how horrible we were and made a big deal of opening the water station early, like she was the hero. Thank God they only booked the venue for the ceremony, so she was only my problem for about an hour. But that wasn’t the end of the story.
The next day, my boss handed me an email the Momzilla sent her. She wrote about how I lost the programs, but then in the same sentence said she found the programs in her hotel room later that night and made a comment about how I should've gone to her hotel and gotten them. She also complained about how I wouldn't give her guests water and how the photographer was the worst person she's ever worked with.
She actually wrote, "Don't bother remembering her name, she'll never work in his town again" about the photographer, like she was a Hollywood producer. Her letter ended with her complimenting the venue space—and then came the line I’ll never forget. "I think I would be a great addition to your team of event coordinators! Let me know when I can start!"
Yep, this witch was blatantly trying to take my job. The worst part, though, is that my boss actually hired her. Needless to say, I quit working at that venue.
50. Comeuppance Bought And Paid For
My mom and I saw a great Bridezilla freak out while shopping for my wedding dress a few years back. We were in a small, local shop when another mother-daughter duo came in. The attendant who had been helping us went up to greet them. The mother said they were here to pick up her daughter's dress, so the attendant looks her name up in the computer, frowns, and says, "Ma'am, you never bought the dress".
"What are you talking about?" The attendant shows the lady the notes on her computer screen. "You said you wanted to think about it, and asked if we could hold the dress. We held it for two weeks, but when we didn't hear back from you, we assumed you didn't want it". "Well, we want it now". "It's been over eight months", the attendant explained, "We sold the dress a long time ago. But I can order you another one, and have it expedited here in a few weeks".
And like a Mt. St. Helens of entitlement, the eruption began. "This is unacceptable!" The mother shrieked. "We have her alterations scheduled in two hours! The wedding is a week away! I can't believe you sold her dress!" The bride, meanwhile, is slumped against the desk and sobbing like someone kicked her dog. My mom and I are just open-mouthed staring at this point.
The attendant was trying to be diplomatic, but is clearly as baffled as we are. "Ma'am, we had no way to know you wanted it. You never called. You never put down a deposit. The dress isn't yours until you pay for it". After some more screaming from the mother and wailing from the bride, they left. The shop attendant came back over to us and I asked her, "Does that kind of thing happen a lot?"
The poor lady just deflated. "All the time". It baffles me to this day. How do you schedule alterations on a dress that you never purchased? Why would you wait until a week before the wedding to pick up your dress? How do you make it to adulthood without knowing how basic buying and selling transactions work?
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." ~ The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Life is full of choices. Each one we make can send our lives in entirely different directions.
Sometimes our decisions work out for us and sometimes disaster ensues.
But let's focus on the positive.
Reddit user Kai6180 asked:
"What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?"
"In 2012 I got an offer from Amazon. It meant leaving Arizona and all my friends and family to move to Seattle. I stressed about it for a long time and finally decided to take it for a year and then move home."
"Met a girl my first week here and married her 5 years later."
"I found [what I thought] a US Army grenade simulator as a kid. It had a pull string."
"I held it and was going to pull it but changed my mind. Instead I tied it to tree and got more string until it I had about 10 feet."
"It blew a hole in the pine tree about the size of pie tin and about 2 inches deep. The cops came. I would have lost my hand or worse."
"The year was 1968."
"Changing my major."
"I have so much more motivation for school now that I actually love what I’m studying."
Isn't It Romantic?
"I don't give a f'k if it’s cheesy, but proposing to/marrying my wife."
"Right there with you, buddy."
"If this answer is cheesy then call me Mr. Rella."
"Was going to say same. 34 years happy."
"Accepting an accidental friend request from the woman who'd eventually become my girlfriend."
"I agreed to snap with a girl who texted me first on an Online Dating site last December. Just reached 8 months with the woman that will most likely become my wife."
"I thought she was a bot or something when she first texted me."
"A bit over a year ago, I decided it was time to lose weight. Now, I had the yearning to lose weight before that, because being fat sucks."
"But I got a haircut that looked really good and I looked in the mirror and it was as if I were seeing myself for the first time. I looked at myself and thought 'I could be pretty. I really could. You know what? I'm going to give this an honest try'."
"So I did. I researched the hell out of weight loss, began calorie counting and I am proud to say that Ihave lost 127 lbs... so far."
"Now it isn't even a matter of 'Gee, will I ever reach my goal weight?' It is a matter of WHEN."
"My whole life has changed, and 95% of those changes have been positive. I have met a version of myself I never knew existed. And it is f'king beautiful."
"At 30 years old with a wife and two kids, go to college."
"My standard of living dramatically improved after graduating."
"I’m 36 and in my second year."
"My daughters will know a better life than I had."
"Leaving my ex. We were horribly toxic together and I'm so much happier now."
"Give yourself time to grieve and process. Even when it's the best decision, the pain from the loss is still there. It will be ok. A new kind of ok."
"Needed this, just left a very one way relationship where everything was about her and now I am free but still hurts to lose that talk every single day aspect."
"Leaving and going no contact with my abusive family."
"Congratulations on that, ❤️ people have no idea how hard that is."
"I just did this. I knew I had to get away from them. COVID made things worse."
"I hired a company to help me fix my credit and I bought a house in a small town in a different state."
"Right now the heat is keeping me indoors but once fall comes it's going to be heaven."
"Right there with ya'."
"I feel much more relaxed."
"Divorcing my husband just short of 50 years!"
"No more negative influence."
"My aunt divorced her husband after 38 years and she has been a new person ever since."
"You can tell the weight was lifted."
"Stopping drinking alcohol."
"Today I have my life back and I am very grateful."
"Getting sober from alcohol - 1,290 days but who’s countin!"
"Quit smoking and drinking, started to exercise!"
"I quit drinking and smoking on the same day about 14 years ago....it was a rough couple of weeks..."
"After college I started interviewing for graphic design jobs, and I realized 'Oh, this would be excruciating corporate bullsh*t'.”
"I had a moment in time where I knew I needed to decide between a miserable “grownup” job that pays well after a few years, or just working wherever and focusing on enjoying life."
"I wanted to live life, not devote myself to joyless adulthood and a career. I ended up meeting a lot of awesome people, including close friends I still hang out with a decade later, and making countless memories I cherish."
"Recently I started focusing on making more money and being a serious adult, and it feels like the right time for that."
"Getting a Golden Retriever puppy.
"That was 11 years ago and now I have 3. So much happiness and love."
"Animals help in ways I don't think some humans really understand."
"My girls [cats] act like they hate me but they are always there for me...for one minute."
Like we said, life is full of choices.
So which ones worked out well for you?
When I was in college, a cousin of mine who lived in London all her life came to visit me. We went out to my favorite restaurant on her first day and I warned her right of the bat not to order too much. She'd never been to New York, but I had been to London, and I knew there was a difference in portion sizes.
Portion sizes in England are usually just enough to satisfy you while potion sizes in America are usually too much to finish in one sitting. I explained this to her, but she waved me off. It was a point of pride for her that in any given group of people, she was always the one who ate the most, and the one who never slipped into a food coma.
She was surprised to find that the chicken finger appetizer she ordered, which she refused to split when I suggested it, came on top of a mountain of loaded fries. She was struggling to finish it when the entree she ordered came out. She paled when she remembered it came with four sides.
In the end, she had to pack up a lot of the food, which was a totally new concept to her.
Ordering too much thinking you are going to finish it all is just one of the things foreigners should avoid doing when visiting America. There are plenty of other things to avoid or places not to go, and Redditors are eager to share what those things are.
It all started when Redditor AlainasBoyfriend asked:
"What should a foreigner avoid while visiting the United States?"
"Don’t be bullheaded when it comes to the weather. If the locals are worried, you should be worried."
"Friend was gored to death by a mountain goat. Right through the femoral artery."
"If you go to the national parks, don’t attempt to take selfies with the wildlife. A full grown bison will throw you through the air like a crumpled piece of paper."
"In Washington DC, avoid taking pictures in front of DC District court thinking it is the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court is 6 blocks away."
"Also, the White House is MUCH smaller than you think it is."
"And eat and eat..."
"Ordering a large at a restaurant, or especially a movie theater. I don't care how hungry you think you are, you will not eat/drink it all in one sitting."
"Especially stupid if there are free refills on drinks lol."
City Folk, Beware
"If you are visiting a more rural area, like Montana where I live, don't underestimate the rural-ness. You might not be able to get a hotel in a small town and there are plenty ty of places where there aren't any hotels or accommodations. You can take highway and run out of gas because there aren't any gas stations for 70 miles."
"Also, if it is a dirt road, and there are a lot of them in the rural U.S., don't ever assume that you will have cell/GPS reception or that the dirt road goes anywhere besides 50 miles into the mountains where you can get stuck or break down. It's hard to conceptualize for people who live in more populated areas."
"Your best bet is to plan ahead and read reviews. It is absolutely worth it to visit areas where there is wilderness. That is why I live here. That being said, it's dangerous in a different way than visiting a city."
"Damn, as an American city dweller, you made me scared of Montana."
"Driving from New York to LA."
"Unless you're planning to spend 2 weeks visiting places in between. The drive will not take just a few days!"
"We had an exchange student from France staying with us (NY). one day, we saw her with a map of the US, said she was going to take a bus to California because she had heard so much about it on television."
"We had to sit down and explain it was going to take a week, each way."
"Yep. I lived in France for a longtime and took the bus everywhere. on a 10 hr ride there you could easily cross three countries..."
Six Feet Apart
"I find a lot of foreigners have about 2 1/2 inches of a personal space bubble, while us Americans value our space. Keep at least a 2-3 feet distance when conversing with strangers. I've had an Italian guy come so close I thought he was going to kiss me. Very uncomfortable for someone who isn't used to a lack of personal space."
Keep Your Mind Wide Open
"Leave all your stereotypes about America home, it's a hugely diverse country and your experience in one part of the US will be very different to your experience in another. Keep an open mind and have fun."
"Well said. I don’t think most first time visitors to the US get just how different one state can be from the next."
"Don't smoke in public buildings, this is illegal."
"Don't smoke in someone's house, apartment, or condo without asking for permission. This isn't illegal, but it's still extremely rude."
"This feels like common courtesy anywhere in general. Even in houses where people smoke, I still go outside to smoke. I'm really uncomfortable smoking in other people's houses."
Don't Forget To Tip You Waiter
"Remember that our service staff do not get paid a living wage. They rely on tips to survive. If you can’t afford to tip, don’t eat out."
"Tipping is compulsory here. It's super fucky, and really shouldn't be. But it is. Especially if you plan on sticking to one area and eating in a place more than once, you'd best tip. Don't toy with the people who handle your food out of eye-shot..."
Where To Eat
"Don't go to the big chain type places. Go to the mom and pop little restaurants and coffee shops and specialty shops. You will usually find new cool things you enjoy."
"Agree but check reviews. Not all small businesses are created equal. Chains are good if you don’t have time to do research. You know what you’re getting (probably)."
American Health Care
"Avoid a hospital visit. Whatever you think it costs, it’s more."
"Whatever a European thinks is a cartoonish amount, and then triple it, and that'll cover the ambulance ride there."
"Right? I remember listening to a Dutch person complain that their Healthcare wasn't actually free despite what Americans said. He went on to explain that he has to pay something like a $20 copay to go to the dentist and some vague circumstance where you might theoretically have to pay close to a hundred dollars at some point. It was cute."
Get Me A Map!
"Avoid looking lost and unorganized in areas of big cities with high crime rates. Dress functionally, always keep the illusion of knowing where you are and where you're going, pay attention to your surroundings. Bad people will target folks who look lost and unorganized more often than people who appear oriented."
"That kind of applies to any big city in the world."
"If I am legitimately lost, I will walk with purpose until I find somewhere to sit. Once seated, the phone comes out and I try to make it look like I am texting someone and not studying a map. Nothing stands out like a group of people, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, all staring at one person's phone."
I'm not even a foreigner and I follow this rule all the time. Extremely important!
Ideally life is a rollercoaster of highs and lows.
Constant highs set up an unrealistic expectation of the world that can come crashing down hard over the smallest setbacks.
Constant lows are just plain cruel.
A mix helps develop coping skills and problem solving while not crushing the spirit.
Curious about what constituted low points, Reddit user beesechugersports asked:
"What was the worst year of your life?"
"1987. I was 13."
My dad was killed when he was hit by a car. Total accident."
"I think about the driver sometimes. I hope he forgave himself."
"I honestly don't recall ever feeling anything toward that guy. I think I was more upset with the neighbor who came to our door to tell us he thought my dad was in an accident."
"My mom piled us in the car and we drove down the street to the scene. My dad's body was under a sheet.
"That night I was numb until my mom hugged me and I bawled in her arms. After that I pretty much shut down emotionally for a couple decades."
"Took me a long time to get help for my own PTSD."
"2011 - Lost my job, girlfriend, friends, had to move back in with my folks where I fell into a deep depression."
"That went on on until 2014 when I was able to turn the ship around."
"People underestimate how horrible those 2-3 yrs of depression feel."
"I was in rock bottom depression for 2 yrs and it felt like a decade passing by."
"2012. The year started out great. I met and befriended an adult film actress on my birthday and had an active sex life for the first time ever."
"I was finally off the night shift at my job. I applied for grad school. I was accepted into a program for veterans at the Writer's Guild of America."
"I had finally arrived."
"But by September it was all over. My relationship with 'Nadia' had turned toxic and ended in a huge fight."
"I was rejected from grad school. The WGA program didn't pan out for me."
"Worst of all, I was fired from my good job. I nearly became homeless and had to go back to working the night shift guarding a gated community in Beverly Hills."
"By the year's end, I was alone and broke (I would declare bankruptcy early the next year) with no hope for the future."
"2014. My business suffered a 4 million dollar loss."
"Then my fiancée who I was with for 6 years left me for her boss just 3 months before our wedding."
"I wasn't able to find another partner but I did recover from the absolute shambles I was in."
"Just the fact that I'm able to function normally and interact with people again without breaking down is a big win for me."
Post College Struggles
"2014—the year I graduated college and was looking for work and had bad acne and unrelenting pressure from my parents and a poor social life and I worked Uber while studying for the Chartered Financial Analyst exam that I ended up failing."
"2017. I lost my best friend that year.. we met during our first year of university and immediately hit it off and became close."
"We were inseparable for 7 years. I’ve never been the same since then.. I died with him."
"I wish I could’ve helped him.. I wish I could just take one last drive and smoke one last cigarette with him ,and tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me."
"Please tell your friends that you love them whenever you get the chance.. you never know when will be the last time you hang out together."
Seeing the Light
"2018. Realized I was part of a cult."
"It was called the Great Commission Churches when I attended though they’ve changed their name multiple times over the years when they’ve been accused of abusive practices."
Long Road to Recovery
"2019. Last straw at my job, where the management team turned on me, resulting in me putting in my 2 weeks after my complaint against a lying supervisor was dismissed."
"Had no more income, so I couldn't pay rent, and thus had to move out of the shared house I had with a friend and his fiancée (wasn't on lease, had no obligation to stay, and the fiancée even told me "you know, you don't have to live here" during an argument)."
"Said fiancée convinced him to turn on me and drop me as a friend, which resulted in him going off and convincing the only other friend I had to do the same."
"My cat developed a genetic illness that paralyzed her and my step-father put her down behind my back. My childhood dog developed cancer and was suffering so she was also put down, but I was able to hold her while she passed."
"Great aunt died of cancer, great uncle (other side of family) died of cancer."
"That was the lowest I've ever been, and I haven't even recovered 20% yet."
"2021 was the year when my mental health was worse than ever."
"Looking back I'm proud of myself that I just survived."
"Well done on that and also, same."
"2021 can go straight in the bin."
"On the flip side 2021 was probably one of the best years of mine as an adult."
"My girlfriend and I were able to spend so much time together because she was only working maybe 1 day a week and I worked at an empty warehouse from 7 to 3 Monday to Friday."
"When everything went back to normal we both were working so much we ended up splitting up, so I guess 2022 sucked pretty bad."
Piling It On
For some, their worst year isn't done with them yet.Giphy
"2023. By far the worst year of my life.
"Got laid off, took forever to find a new job, fiancée got pregnant then lost it then she got cancer, hated my new job, went heavily into debt to survive, fiancée beats cancer, she gets a life insurance payout from her father's passing, she gets pregnant again."
"Then I find out after she up and vanishes suddenly that every single thing was a lie. She faked it all from top to bottom for two years and pulled the rug out from under me, suddenly running off with our dogs."
"Since then I guess she needs some sick gratification that she’s not getting from just all that and continues to stalk me on social media/Reddit as well as spoof her phone number to text me sh*t with purely the intent of trying to hurt me."
"Losing the dogs hurt and still hurts, won’t lie, but being rid of her has been nothing short of a blessing."
"My dog died in June."
"My wife died in July."
"My cat died in August."
"I have 5 kids."
Dear whatever doesn't kill me, I'm strong enough now.
"Every year seems to beat the previous."
Oof, that's a lot to take.
While some are still going through it, many have already come out on the other side.
Here's hoping better days are ahead soon for everyone.Giphy