You know how the Make-A-Wish Foundation helps less fortunate children? The Make-A-Curse Foundation would exact revenge on your enemies. For a nominal fee, someone will curse an unfortunate soul of your choosing - and the hex lasts forever.
Imagine cursing someone with an itch that can't be scratched, or giving the terrifying gift of unlimited, universal empathy. Here's what Reddit had to offer
mrsam12000 asked, The Make-A-Curse Foundation grants evil services short of murder for terminally ill adults. What last act of revenge would you request for your enemy?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, or profanity.
Come on we're eating here.
GiphySomeone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.
It's your job to carry out the curses.
GiphyThey have to work for the Make-A-Curse Foundation having to inflict all of this and ensure it all works.
I used to hear phantom bangs when I'd fall asleep.
GiphyAs soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.
A paradox for the ages.
GiphyGet the biggest boner in the most awkward and humiliating situations and only get a half boner when they actually want one.
Sounds like a typical day.
GiphyAll critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.
So just... normal internet.
GiphyTheir internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.
I'm itchy just reading this.
GiphyAn itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.
It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.
Redditor Moist-Patience-4989 asked:
"What is a toy you always wanted growing up, but never got?"
Power Wheels
"The Barbie Jeep that you could actually ride in. But once I had kids, I bought them one (not the Barbie version, but still). And guess what? I was five pounds under the weight limit so I was able to ride in their battery-powered Jeep. I mean, it was a couple decades late, but I eventually got to do it."
- smugmisswoodhouse
"Lol I never got one of those as a kid either. It still haunts me till this day. I have no idea why but it still does. My mom bought me a car for my 16th birthday but I still bring up the freaking power wheel. I guess it really scarred me."
- Annonme123
Easy - Bake Oven
"Easy - Bake Oven"
- Antibara
"Me too. I wanted one so bad. When they came out with the real retro looking ones a while ago, I was sooo tempted. LOL"
- Real-Web8925
"I was a child of the 70s, and wanted the Holly Hobbie version. My parents were poor and/or didn't want me cooking in my bedroom, so they dodged by pointing out it was for ages 8 and up. By the time I was 8 I was cooking real food in an actual oven so the request was dropped. Still low-key want one though, entirely to indulge my inner child."
- pepperminticecream
"Easy bake oven. Parents didn’t think it was a toy for boys. I still became a baker anyways"
- Soggy-Juggernaut-569
Mini Bike
"A mini-bike like they advertised in the Sears Christmas catalog."
- XploringTheWorld
"Same. I wanted one so bad. All the guys on my street had one and to get into the woods they drove their bikes between my house and the neighbors. On our lawn! I was so pissed off they got to do it but my dad didn’t think it was safe for a girl (in 1968)."
- SnowinMiami
Tamagotchi
90S Nostalgia GIFGiphy"Always wanted a Tamagotchi"
- DuracellCosmonaut
"They were banned at my school. I think there was a bit of controversy with them at the time."
- Maso_TGN
"I have mine! Just put fresh batteries in it a couple weeks ago and I still can’t keep the dumb thing alive 😅"
- IJustWantWaffles_87
TMNT Pizza Shooter
"The ninja turtle pizza thrower van."
- Ph33r-Enigma
"My friend brought his TMNT Pizza Shooter over. We then spent the next 2 hours shooting my older sister. I asked for one and my parents (for very good reason) told me absolutely not."
- HoopOnPoop
"I just used it to shoot pizzas at my little brother. Thing was amazing
- MrJimBusiness18
American Girl Dolls
"An American Girl doll. Loved the books so much. I've been tempted to buy myself a Samantha now that she's out again, but I like the original outfit better."
- horseruth
"I read that catalogue cover to cover every time I got it (which is back when there were only three dolls and nothing ever changed). I was convinced when I grew up and had kids, my daughter would have all three dolls, each in its own room so that the historical eras didn't get mixed up. Spoiler alert: that did not happen. No kids, and my house doesn't have three extra bedrooms to devote to dolls."
- jleebeane
Castle Greyskull
he-man GIFGiphy"Castle Grayskull, from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe."
- Maso_TGN
"My brother had it and I played with my strawberry shortcake dolls in it."
- GlamSpam
"By The Power Of Grayskull, sacrilege!"
- Maso_TGN
"They actually made a new one recently, and it’s identical to the original 80’s one, just with modern details. You can get it here."
- IncreaseWestern6097
Rock Tumbler
"A rock tumbler"
- Picklesgal111
"I was looking for this one. We are two rocks in the tumbler together."
- Independent_Cut8651
"Not really a toy, but I’ve wanted a rock polishing kit for as long as I can remember and would ask for one every Christmas and birthday."
- awesquirrel
Pokédex
"a pokedex. I wanted one so bad, but NoOoOo, mom and dad thought pokemon was annoying"
- CptJaxxParrow
The Big Box of Crayons
"The Crayola 64-pack with the three metallic colors."
- wholewheatscythe
You may have missed out on these toys as a child, but the great thing about being an adult is that you can do what you want. If the toy you desperately wanted as a kid is still available, you are totally allowed to just go out and buy yourself one.
Redditor OfficialVickiLuv wanted to share the truths we need to know, so they asked:
"What is a common 'fact' that you know is bulls**t?"
There is no such thing as an alternative fact.
So let's start there.
Not a Forest
the ice pirates shaving GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"Shaving makes your hair grow back thicker."
Heavy_Educator9822
"I used to believe this one. I was very disappointed when I learned it was BS."
leebon427
Both Sides
"There are two kinds of thinkers: Right brain people are who are creative, and the people that use the left side who can do math."
Beaver_Buster
"Try telling that to psychologists/psychiatrists who do research/clinical studies/trials. I’ve been denied dozens of times to partake in research studies revolving around mental health, specifically depression, and anxiety."
"Why did they deny me [even tho I was a perfect candidate]? Because I write with my left hand. And apparently it would make their study 'invalid' because they 'don’t want to interfere with results.'"
"Please tell me how excluding a large amount of people from a research study would somehow give you the correct answer for treating mental health for everybody?"
asianstyleicecream
Find them...
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Zatiebars
"Especially with children, the quicker the police can get to the 'crime' scene the fresher the evidence and easier to follow leads. I used crime in quotes because there could have been a crime or the kid might have just wandered off."
"But it's not just for kids though... If you know someone is a home body and never leaves home and you know something has happened, by all means call the police. Even if they like to take random trips, it never hurts to inform the law."
Zatiebars
Crackle... Pop
"Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis."
Famous-Background329
"Probably just normal. Cracks are just little bubbles of nitrogen that settle where there's space. They don't build up over time, once the space is occupied by a little bubble then no more can join it. A knuckle that hasn't been cracked in 50 years is the same as a knuckle that hasn't been cracked in a few hours."
ConstantSignal
Give a Howl
Angry Wolf GIF by CuriosityStreamGiphy"Alpha wolves being real. The guy who did the original study disproved his one study and gets mad when people get it wrong now... lol."
Silverj0
"Came looking for this, also extrapolating this BS to human beings and 'sigma,' go read. The articles are all available. It's nonsense that people still believe s* like this with access to everything in their hands."
artemispock
The wolf pack is always ready.
Trivia
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphy"A 'factoid' is an often repeated statement that isn't true, but is now believed to be true due to people saying it all the time. Its not a mini fact, or like, fun piece of trivia."
JackofScarlets
Breakfast Companies
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The quote was made by Kellogg's to make people buy more cereal. If you search up articles that say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, most are sponsored by Kellogg's."
Jazzlike-Caramel7103
"I’m not sure Kellogg’s made it up. In my country there’s a saying that’s been around forever that alludes to the importance of breakfast that goes 'have breakfast like a king and dinner like a poor person.' Kellogg’s might’ve simply exploited an existing popular belief."
kaleidoscopichazard
Hey Stumpy
"Caffeine makes you short."
CForey62
"This one makes me laugh. I've been drinking coffee since I was like 9 years old and turned out 190cm tall."
TurquoiseBeetle67
Spuds
"Potatoes absorb toxins. The amount of people that believe putting potato slices in your shoes or wear them around your neck as a holistic medical treatment is shockingly high. It’s just oxidation."
wheresmychin
"I recall seeing a antivaxx meme that said if you had to get a COVID shot to put a potato slice at the injection site to absorb all the toxins. I’m all for sharing that idea if it makes people get vaccinated."
OrangeTree81
Look Out
Flying Fox Bat GIF by Barbara PozziGiphy"Bats are blind."
IWantOneSpatula
"I remember getting into a really stupid argument shortly after high school with a friend over this who just couldn't believe that bats weren't actually blind."
__M-E-O-W__
"Fine. Bats are legally blind."
shifty_coder
Now I've learned more.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor KentuckyFriedEel wondered what movie moments have left scars for life, so they asked:
"Which movie scene is really hard to sit through and watch?"
The death of Artax in 'The Neverending Story.'
Scared me for life.
Stop Dialing
vince vaughn beer GIFGiphy"Swingers. Mike calling and leaving messages over and over for the girl whose phone number he got at the bar."
Careless-Ground-7349
"Never. Call. Me. Again."
playblu
Look Away
"Trainspotting. Specifically the scene where they wake up from their drug induced haze to find the dead baby. The decomposition effect made to look like they neglected to check on her for DAYS... Then their best and only response is to shoot up and get high again. Dull the pain. Just tragic."
SqAznPersuasion
INTENSE
"A very good portion of the original French version of Martyrs."
"That movie is both the definition of gore porn, but also a solid story that makes sitting through how uncomfortable it is completely worth it. It’s unfortunate that Hollywood somehow made a mostly shot for shot remake and completely ruined the movie."
egnards
"My housemate and I watched Martyrs and spent like the next three days talking about it, that movie was INTENSE."
raz0rflea
Too Dark
"Green Mile. I leave when Mr Jingles chases the thread bobbin, and again for the execution scene gone wrong. I've seen both scenes once. Don't need to see that again."
Publandlady
"The book is as heart-wrenching as the movie. It's my all-time favorite Stephen King book, but it's tough to get through."
F**kImCold
"When I saw that execution scene as a kid I was at a friend's house and decided to go home right there. Came back next day to finish it though cause didn't wanna get made fun of."
canadianclassic308
Just No!
Bom Dia Hello GIFGiphy"Annihilation. The bear quietly screaming. ‘Help me.'"
"Absolutely not, thank you."
HaunterUsedLick
Never saw that one. Maybe I'll take a peek.
Too Tough
Toni Collette Crying GIF by A24Giphy"Hereditary. Watching the kid just pull up to the bed is pretty tough to watch. The scream by the mom the next morning is also pretty tough."
happymyself
Shiny Trauma
"I've never gone back and watched it again, because it skeeved me out so much, but that scene in Dr. Sleep, where the Shine Vampires are stealing all the shine from that kid through pain was ROUGH."
Horknut1
"I came here to say this. Jacob Tremblay practiced for months before the scene to be sure he could get it right. When the time came to shoot it he did so well that all the Shine Vampires forgot their lines and struggled to finish the scene. The first time I saw it was pretty traumatizing."
Capteverard
True Pain
"The shower scene in Schindlers List. It took me years to get through it, even though it ends up just being a shower and not a gas chamber. Also the Tony episode on the new Dahmer series. I was hysterical watching it and feel sick thinking about how much real people suffered because of him."
ashleylauren3
"I watched Schindlers List for the first and only time a few years ago and couldn't stop crying after."
wearyomask
Dried Up
"The scene in the SpongeBob movie where SpongeBob and Patrick dry up."
crossbowman44
"I know this guy that loved movies and would give me all these high brow recommendations. One Saturday morning, I decided I wanted to watch a movie and was considering one of his recommendations. I watched the SpongeBob movie instead. And I made the right choice. Saturday morning is for cartoons."
Brawndo91
War Crimes
Screaming Matt Damon GIFGiphy"Saving Private Ryan - when the German soldier is plunging the knife into Mellish."
LackOfStack
"For me it is when the medic is dying after attacking the machine gun nest. All those soldiers standing around absolutely helpless."
DramaticWesley
"Oh God don't get me started. Only scene from a movie that gets my physically angry."
crispycritter909
All good movies. All to never watch again.