Okay first things first. I'm going to start this off by reassuring you that there will be actual recipes in this article. I'm not a terrible person. You're welcome.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's get to the real meat and potatoes here, shall we? Yeah. Peep that food pun. We all love recipe articles, but let's be honest - how do you know if you can trust the person's palette? How do you know you're not taking recipe advice from whoever came up with that peas and mayo pizza abomination? Ask chefs. Chefs entire job is to know food, right? One redditor asked:
Chefs of Reddit, what's the greatest recipe you've ever come across?
These were some that sounded tastiest (and easiest - we know our audience is a busy bunch) to us. Have fun fam!
Beer And Carbs
Beer bread. It is one of the easiest things to make and who doesn't like fresh bread. Take a can of beer, 3 cups of flour, 3 teaspoons of baking powder, 1 teaspoon of salt and mix it together. Put it in a bread pan and throw it in the oven at 375 for an hour. That's it.
Chocolate Potato Cake
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I'm not a chef, but my mom bakes...she's far from a "professional", but she's known for her baking.
She makes something called a chocolate potato cake.
I know it sounds weird, but it has a cup of cooked, mashed (sans milk & butter in them) potatoes in it. The end result is AMAZING! Super-rich, moist chocolate cake. People will fight over the last piece of it.
Anyway, she made the cake for a friend's party...and at that party was a culinary chef who absolutely loved the cake...and wanted the recipe.
Mom gave it to him on one condition; he didn't share it.
Fast forward; the recipe is published in a culinary magazine, under the name of the guy that wanted the recipe.
Asshole.
But based on that, I'd have to consider it to be a great recipe if a trained chef stole it.
EDIT / UPDATE!!
You've been asking for it, so here it is! The actual recipe that was "stolen". Please note, I have never claimed that she "invented" this recipe. This is merely the recipe that she has used over the years. There's ONE condition though, if you do make it, please let me know how it turned out for you and I'll pass it along to my mom. My mom would be happy knowing that the recipe worked for people.
PEI POTATO CHOCOLATE CAKE
- 1 cup hot mashed potatoes, not seasoned
- 1 cup lukewarm water
- 2/3 cup soft margarine
- 2 cups white sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 4 eggs
- 2 cups flour
- 3/4 cup cocoa
- 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/8 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350°F . Prepare cake pan (tube pan) by lightly greasing & then dusting with flour. Whisk water into well mashed potatoes until a smooth mixture is formed. Cool to lukewarm.
Beat margarine & sugar with electric mixer until combined. Add vanilla & beat 2 minutes at medium speed. Add 2 eggs and beat until blended. Add remaining 2 eggs. Beat at medium speed until blended. Sift together dry ingredients & stir to combine. At low speed, add 1/3 of the sifted dry ingredients, alternately with half the potato mixture, until all is blended.
Fold in chocolate chips. Turn batter into prepared pan. Bake in over for about 55 minutes. Cool on rack. Top with confectioners' sugar.
Enjoy!
Mexican Coke Is Key
There was a carnitas recipe on Reddit not long ago... tried it, even went to a special grocery store for Mexican coke since the recipe is different than typical american Coke... it was heavenly. And so inexpensive. And freezes so well. Three criteria for a great bulk recipe that makes your life easier, your wallet richer, and your soul happier.
Edit to add recipe from original post. If you want to find it, its on r/slowcooker
Inspired by /u/Lalalaraee !
4 pounds (or 2 kg) pork butt (or shoulder)
3-4 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon dried oregano (or Mexican oregano)
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 large brown or white onion, cut into wedges
8 cloves garlic, smashed
2 limes, juiced
2 large oranges, juiced (or 3/4 cup natural orange juice)
3/4 cup Original coke (Mexican coke is ideal)
2 bay leaves
Combine everything and cook on low for 8-10 hours. Don't discard liquid!
Place on baking sheet, cover with 1 cup of liquid and broil. Watch closely!
The recipe recommended broiling for 15 minutes but I only broiled for 5, any longer and ours would have burned. Enjoy guys!
- 8365815
Cereal in Cookies?
Chicago Crunch Chocolate Chip Cookies. My mom originally saw the recipe in Woman's Day or Family Circle years ago but this is the same one from Recipeland. She'd make these every holiday gathering and when my younger brother and I had curriculum day early release. Some people think it's weird to put corn flakes inside of your cookies, but it's actually pretty common in some places. I've just never seen it done quite like this before.
"Impossible To Overdo"
Peposo (a black pepper based stew) is pretty great for home cooks. It looks classy as sh!t, it's easy, doesn't take much work, and absolutely "holy hell how can something be this good" delicious if you don't cook often.
The only downside is that they don't get to see you make it since the "impressive" part of the cooking happens about 3.5 hours before the finishing.
All you need is short rib (bone in you savages), a bottle of Chianti, and a ludicrous quantity of pepper. Of course, salt, tomato paste, a couple herbs, and some rice is definitely a plus.
Smash/crush some garlic, mix with tomato paste and liberally smear onto the short rib.
Buy whole black pepper corns. Crush some using a cutting board and skillet, maybe 2 tablespoons for 3 pounds? I've never measured, and usually add ground pepper too.
Put the beef in a pot/saute pan, add pepper on top. Poke in some herbs/ bag leaves/whatever if you have it. Pour in most of a bottle of Chianti. The cheap but not completely shit kind with work. Set it on high heat, turn down as low as you can right before boil. Add lid. Leave for 2 hours. Optionally flip beef prices and if possible, slide the bone out. If you take the bones out, leave them in the pot. Cook for another hour-hour and a half. It's basically impossible to overdo this stuff, so just don't stop until it's basically falling apart when you touch it. Remove the herbs, beef, and bones. Give the bones to the dog. Enjoy his eternal love. Uncover and turn the heat back as high as it will go. Reduce until it's nice and thick or it's half the volume it was. Salt to taste (taste your food numbnuts). Put rice/polenta on a plate in a pretty shape. Stack some meat chunks on top. Pour over your sauce (you might need to whisk it to combat separation).
Make sure to make sexy eyes when they take a bite, they will have a spontaneous orgasm.
Honorable mention for learning to make your own marinade so that all your meat tastes better.
Is Grilled Guac Extra?
I make a grilled guacamole. Pretty standard guacamole recipe but everything gets charred on the grill and then cut and mashed. Creates the most delicious smoky flavor and takes guac to the next level! Something I thought couldn't be done.
The Best Mashed Potato
Mashed potato recipe I found online that blew away the competition this thanksgiving
Boil 5 lbs of quartered, unpeeled Yukon gold or Idaho gold taters in 4 cups of whole milk, 4 cups of heavy cream, 9 sprigs of thyme, 8 cloves of garlic, 3 bay leaves. Once they are mashable, strain potatoes, remove herbs, mash, then fold the strained milk concoction back in slowly. Fold in 2-4 tablespoons of butter, roughly 2 tablespoons of olive oil, salt, pepper, and 3 tablespoons of grainy mustard.
I made turkey too so I took the bacon I used to keep the turkey moist and minced it and threw that in the mashed taters as well. Finally, to make it healthy, I threw in a handful of chopped parsley. Gold it up nicely. Watch as your taters are annihilated at thanksgiving and the sad, russet potato, dry as f*ck mash remains untouched!
- caessa_
EZ Mode Fish
I did the chef thing for a while but didn't like the end-game. Switched focus to bodybuilding but still have some ezmode recipes that even redditors can't screw up.
Fish. Tilapia / Salmon / Whatev
- Let sit till room temp. Put it on a sheet of foil.
- Drizzle with olive oil.
- Add lemon pepper and creole or season-all.
- Pinch of parsely. Can be fresh, doesn't matter.
Fold it up in foil, like a pouch, so no fluid will escape. Bake it at 425F (Make sure oven is preheated.) for 10-12 minutes depending on how big it is. 10 will be safe to eat for any size and 12 won't overcook the smallest pieces so set your timer for 10 minutes and if it sits in the oven an extra 2 don't stress.
Unwrap it and you're good to go. Restaurants will charge a good $15-30 for this and you can make this for under $5.
The Many Chapters Of Chicken Wings
Righto, you want some hot wings? Heres my EC Wings recipe, not for the faint of heart y'all. The EC - Existential Crisis - wing recipe is all about level of burn and interaction of different SHU levels in chilli tastes. Let's get her rollin ey, cos this one will take at least a day to throw together.
Wings, part 1
Get yerself 4 wings - This recipe is for 4 of em so multiply ingredients if needs be - and chuck em in a sealable freezer bag SKIN ON. This ain't about dietary concerns. Add about
- 80mls of Soy Sauce (Sweet Soy if you're skipping the sauce step further down)
- 30mls of Red Wine Vinegar
- 60mls Lime Juice, fresh squeezed. None of that bottled shit.
- 2 cloves of Garlic (finely diced, or a heaped tablespoon of Garlic Paste)
- a heaped Teaspoon of Carolina Reaper Paste. For the Reaper paste I recommend Chilli Factory's one, although this can be substituted for whatever you want heat wise - Sometimes I'll use a smokey Chipotle instead if I'm cooking for others who ain't on my chilli level. Regardless: for this recipe, the hottest chilli yer using is for the Marinade.
Mix all that up in a Blender or in a bowl with a fork if you're old fashioned like that, pour it into the bag with the chook and seal it. Give her a good shake for coverage and chuck it in the fridge overnight - absolute minimum of 12 hours to marinate.
The sauce:
Another overnighter, borrowed this recipe from online and tweaked it a bit. Not a necessary addition, but you'll be robbing yourself if you don't do it as well.
- 12 finely diced Birds Eye Chillies (Peri Peri)
- One clove of Garlic
- 40ml White Vinegar
- 1/2 teaspoon of salt
Combine and let her sit in room temperature for 12 hours or overnight, longer the better IMO. Now, before cooking the chicken - as the sauce has gotta cool - drop the sauce mix into a small saucepan on medium heat. Add a teaspoon of Caster Sugar and stir through, bringing it to the boil. Then crank yer heat down and let it simmer till the chillies are soft. Pour out and let that cool, I usually chuck mine in e freezer for 30 mins then fridge it. Once cooled, blender time til nice and smooth.
Guess what you just made? SRIRACHA. Noice. Well, Sriracha is with Jalapeños but whatevs, I'm manly and jalapeños are nothing to me. Plus, Jalapeños are in the Part 2 of the chicken.
Anywho, whilst the sauce is chilling in the fridge, pour 100ml of Orange (or Mango, mango works great too) Juice and a shot of Grand Marnier into a small saucepan. Reduce at high heat, whilst sprinkling more caster sugar in slowly, continuously stirring when it comes back to the boil. Once the consistency is thick like cream, take it off the heat, combine it with the homemade Sriracha, and chuck it back in the fridge. You're left with a fruity dipping sauce that will punch you in the face if you look at it wrong.
Chicken, part 2
Almost there. This step is entirely optional as well, but in for a penny eh?
Finely dice about 6 decent sized Habaneros and [follow this guide here] (https://np.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/3j5lqs/my_homemade_habanero_powder_xpost_from_rfood/). PROTIP: open all your windows and maybe even chuck on a face mask as the fumes get stuck in the back of your throat pretty damn well.
Chicken part 3, the final chapter
Get yerself a bowl with a few whipped up eggs in it, and two shallow bowls. To one of em, add...
- Half a cup of Breadcrumbs
- Tablespoon of Salt (I use Himalayan Pink Salt because I'm classy as fuck like that)
- Tablespoon of Cracked Black Pepper (Sichuan Peppercorns if you got em, distinct flavour base change for the better)
- Sprinkle of Cayenne pepper
- Dried Chillies from earlier. If you didn't do that shrug your loss IMO, cos it makes the recipe.
To the other bowl, chuck a cup of flour in it. Grab your wings one at a time but keep the rest of the Marinade. Give the wings a shake to get rid of excess Marinade, even pat em down with a paper towel. Why, you ask? All that acid from the vinegar and juice earlier has already penetrated the meat like a Seviche and brought the Reaper paste and garlic flavour with it so it's only needed just prior to cooking now. Give it a dredging in the flour, and carefully dip through the egg wash. Next, hold over the bowl with the chilli breading bits, grab a handful of the mixture and sprinkle it on til you can't see the meat anymore. DO NOT dredge it in the Breading Mix, trust me. Place the wing on a lightly oiled pan, and when fully loaded back in the fridge uncovered for an hour. This should set the breaded bits.
Finally, preheat your oven to 180 degrees Celsius and slide those bad boys in there for 15 minutes give or take. Baste over the top with the extra Marinade every 5 minutes, and turn over.
After that long and complicated process, you'll have the Best Goddamn Hot-Wings you'll ever eat, or my name ain't Fatbeard. Which it obviously ain't, but y'know what I mean.
Who's hungry?
Blue Cheese And Cinnamon?
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My dad is a chef and he always makes unusual and delicious stuff. Homemade spicy cocktail sauce with grated jicama in it. Marinade jalapeno slices in soy sauce, it's great.
The best is something that only other chefs are ever excited to try, but it's so amazing. Stick with me on this. . . Blue cheese cinnamon rolls.
Start with a good yeast dough, fill with a cinnamon mix that is heavy on the cinnamon and a bit a nutmeg and all spice, and light on the brown sugar. No white sugar at all.
One risen and baked sprinkle with blue cheese crumbles while still warm. Once slightly melty drizzle with a white glaze.
Do not use cream cheese frosting. Do not frost. Light on the sugar glaze, do not treat it like you think you're Johnson's corner.
I promise it's amazing.
H/T: Reddit
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
