Reddit user Devastator1981 asked:
"What’s one thing you still prefer to do the old-fashioned way—regardless of technology—and why?"
My seriousness about potatoes is, apparently, a passion matched by many...
Board Games
"Physical board games/card games."
"Most of the app versions of the games I like aren't that great."
"Plus, it's more fun to play with someone."- Junkolm
Art Design Game GIF by Scorpion DaggerGiphyPhotos
"I print photos and keep them in photo albums."
"I like to keep the special moments of life as a book and go through it page by page."- SuvenPan
"There’s something satisfying and nostalgic about seeing the physical photos. I have my favorites displayed in frames, so I can see them every day. Makes me happy."- Gbrown546
Books
"Read. Love to have a book where I can turn the pages."- Jonsmile
"Books over a kindle always" - Warm_Quantity_326
"I prefer physical books instead of ebooks and kindles."
"I love the smell of books and I prefer the weight and feeling of books over an iPad."
"I also prefer the older style book covers."
"I hate it when the front cover of a book is just a photo of a movie adaptation, or some generic boring line drawing that will become very dated very quickly."- Exotic_Age7107
"Reading."
"I love the smell of a brand new book, flipping the pages, leaving little cliff notes and folds."
"I even love the act of buying the books! "
"The quietness while you’re browsing the stacks for whatever it is that catches your eye."
"Ebooks just can’t compare!"- dickmanphilips
"Books, where you can turn the pages, are so much more relaxing than swiping on a screen all day."
"Plus I love the smell of new books and the sound of the page when I turn it, but those darn paper cuts if you aren't careful."- Several-Orchid9640
Read Beauty And The Beast GIF by DisneyGiphyDrawing
"Drawing."
"I never really got the hang of digital art."
"It's much easier and more satisfying for me to have all of the tactile input from my work."
"Also, I sew, and along the same lines I prefer to hand-draft patterns."- WitheredFlowers
Buttons
"Physical buttons for climate controls in a car."
"I refuse to buy a car that only uses a touch screen for everything."
"Much safer to not have to fiddle with a touch screen while driving."- Ghertomp
"Physical buttons on most things."
"I understand how touch screens and trackpads are more flexible, but I really enjoy the tactile sensation, the certainty that you definitely pressed the right button."
"The extra sensation that allows you to more precisely press buttons, and the ability to press buttons with things besides your bare finger, like a gloved finger or your knuckle because you're holding something, and probably a few other things I can't think of right now"- Quazimojojojo
Pressing Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyMenus
"Physical menus at restaurants."
"I'm with the boomers on this one"- cptfuzzybeard95
Compact Disc
"Buy music."
"Unfortunately buying cds just isn't as easy as it used to be."
"But I prefer physical media, and just convert it to digital."
"I hate streaming music."
"I don't trust the stuff I love to always be available."
"I like having ownership of what I listen to."- jbnagis
cd GIFGiphyWriting Notes
"Make notes on paper."
"I will typically use index cards because they are not as easy to 'fly away' or get crumpled or lost."
"But hey.... that's just me!"- NoBSforGma
"Taking notes."
"Im 16 so I am comfortable with typing on touchscreens and using keyboards, but when it comes to school notes I prefer writing with a pen."- ILIKEBACON12456
"Write and read with tangible paper."
"Writing a loved one a handheld letter means so much more than a quick text or a print of something."
"I considered early on in my relationship that me and my boyfriend don’t even know each other’s writing styles, so I’ve made it a goal to always write him something special for an event or just because."
"I also prefer reading personal books by physically turning the page."- notwideshut
Fire
"Cooking using firewoods."
"It gives more aromatic flavor to your food"- IshigamiiiIchigo4u
episode 19 cooking GIFGiphyCoffee
"Not sure if this counts, but I grind my coffee by hand and use a simple brewing method, either chemex or french press, to make it."
"I think having full control over the process leads to better tasting coffee than I get with any automatic machine."
"Also, having a ritual that I do every morning and takes a little elbow grease helps kickstart my day."- NebXan
Coffee Time GIF by Jones Brothers CoffeeGiphyChecks
"Balancing a checkbook."- mrsK35
Checking Out
"In-person checkouts."
"I don't know why but I just hate those automated self-checkouts."- Fire2xdxd
Cooking
"Making rice in a standard pot instead of a rice cooker."
"Idk if anyone’s tested it but to me the rice is fluffier and less dry in the pot."- famechangedme
olla GIFGiphySex
"I don’t like technology for (male) sexual pleasure, because I don’t want it to diminish the pleasure when I’m with my wife."- FixConnect3651
Stick Shift
"Shifting gears."
"I know automatics have taken over and stickshift is going the way of the dodo, but I'll always prefer a stick any day of the week."
"If you know when to shift and what gears you can cruise in for each road condition, you'll always get better mileage than an auto."
"That's why I can get up to 34mpg in my brother's challenger."
"Also, a clutch swap is cheaper and easier than a full auto rebuild."
"Sure manual trans failures do happen, but it's far less common than automatic failures."- Monkeys2Code
Dishes
"Weirdly enough doing dishes by hand instead of a dishwasher."
"If all my dishes are clean and i make a meal for myself it’s like 4 dishes, they clean up super easy while stuff is cooking."-
Lisa Simpson Mom GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyNow that you know what Reddit is still kicking it old school about, it's your turn in the confessional.
What do you do the good old fashioned way?
Reddit user crazythumper7 asked :
"What can someone put on their car that makes you know immediately that they’re a douchebag?"
And listen, I know what we were all told, but adding stuff to your car is communicating extra data and what is the purpose of data if not to analyze?
And isn't judgment part of analysis?
And don't people put stuff on their cars like this???
Calvin's Degrading Competitors
"A 'Calvin pissing on rival brand's logo' sticker."
- GrumpyCatStevens
"I once saw a ford with Calvin pissing on a Chevy sticker pull up next to a Chevy with a Calvin pissing on a ford sticker at a stop light."
"I was hoping to see some drama but nothing happened."
- lobster-overrun
"Wow, an actual pissing contest between truck guys."
- SpaceCowboy58
"This is the perfect metaphor for American politics. 2 guys, more or less the same, forced into competing identities by corporate interests which want nothing more than to take their money.
- Jasper455
"Do people actually identify that closely with car companies?"
- LeoMarius
"Unfortunately, yes."
- lobster-overrun
"C'mon guys, show dominance."
- Suibian_ni
Truck Testies
"Truck Nuts"
- TheNatanist
"I saw truck nuts on a smart car one time and thought it was the one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen 😂 I’ll make an exception for that person. Otherwise, you’re right."
- archerjones
"If it makes you feel better I had a couple truck nuts when I was an edgy teenager and they were routinely cut off. In hindsight, I think those people were doing me a favor."
- CaptainAwesome06
"One of my friends made a bicycle version, it’s literally two large hardware nuts, glued to a bicycle chain, hung from the back of the bike saddle"
- ChimpskyBRC
"There’s a guy at work that has a blue pair. Really? You can pick any colour and you pick BLUE??"
- Silverslugger24
Truly Hated
"Locally hated"
- Accomplished_Cod_891
"Yeah, only because he hasn't gone anywhere else yet."
- The_Observatory_
"And nobody knows them anyways"
- MichigaCur
"Not until Mom starts charging rent, anyway."
- Raaazzle
"Not sure which is worse. Either they are actually hated enough for everybody in their city to know who they are and feel the same, or they're wrong and aspire to be hated."
- Phantereal
"Or the way they are proud to be hated."
- CommercialCream402
i hate you middle finger GIFGiphyAdvertising
"Those big stickers on their windshield that has their Instagram/ name in cursive"
- Zealousideal_Bet6888
"Lol I saw one of those. But it was a dog’s Instagram and the dog was in passenger side waving out the window while wearing sunglasses and some gold chains."
- jamie_maxx
"That ain't a dog, that's a Dawg"
- Pyr02006
Grilled Meat
"A guy at my work has a penis shaped piece of metal bolted to the front grill on his civic."
"Sad thing is, I guessed the guy who drives it by his appearance."
- shambosley
"I was gonna say truck nuts, but I think that takes it."
- [Reddit]
More Meat
"I’ll one up you."
"Girl at my work has a dildo has her shift knob."
"I mean respect because she drives a manual, she’s still kind of a douchebag though."
- ali693
Play On Words
“ 'Dodge the dad, Ram the daughter'…. On a Dodge Ram. Good stuff."
- jazzy-j-face
"Or "If you can't dodge 'em, ram 'em". Thank you for giving me warning to get as far from you on the road as possible."
- shagthedance
"I saw an OnlyRams decal the other day, which was especially funny because I had recently read another r/askreddit thread about what kind of vehicles douchebags drive, and Ram was top of the list."
- Nailbomb85
"Ooooohhh. I love my Ram. Most truck for the money as they say. I certainly understand the stereotype tho."
- ss3006
"Sir I believe they say 'the most truck for your buck'."
- zipiddydooda
Ram GIFGiphyMore Free Advertisement
"As a firearms enthusiast I can tell you that anyone who puts any gun related stickers on their car is either a douchebag, an idiot, or both."
"They're trying to look tough and are dumb enough to advertise that they have an expensive hobby, which makes them an immediate target for theft."
"My roommate does exactly this. Again, I love going to the range, I don't advertise it on my car."
- 2centSam
"Thank you! We have such an issue with people getting their vehicles broken into and it’s always, ALWAYS, one of two targets:"
"Dude left it unlocked"
"Dude has an NRA or pro-2A decal some shit like “Try and Take It!!” Plastered on the back window."
"May as well advertise that there’s a good chance an easy score is inside. And this is in the Midwest! You’d think folks would have more sense but 🤷🏼♂️ I dunno…all I know is sh*t like this is why I’m stuck waiting on my new Sig."
- Rusty_is_a_good_boy
"Is it even theft if they tell you to come and take it?"
- Conri
Looking Dumb Too
"Carolina squat....just, just why"
- DeousPascitCorvos
"I didn't know what this was and googled it. Man this is slaughter:"
"It involves lifting a truck's front end and dropping its rear, ostensibly to make it look like a race truck, but only resulting in a vehicle that scoots along like a dog scratching its butt"
- RowdyBunny18
"North Carolinian here, they actually just passed legislation banning this eyesore. Hopefully they get around to enforcing it too."
- GreatWhiteElk
"I had to Google this. Oh man that is the dumbest shot I’ve ever seen. I live in the Northeast and I’ve never seen that before."
- scumbagstaceysEx
The Irony
"Punisher with a thin blue line flag"
- spirit_the_scallion
"Completely ignores the number of cops the Punisher has killed over the years in comics."
- dameon5
"Or the reason why Frank Castle had to become The Punisher in the first place"
"(It was because of corrupt cops.)"
- [Reddit]
"Or the thin blue line flag + a gadsden flag. 'Don’t tread on ME, tread on those other people!!'."
- sluthulhu
"Second this"
- TexanInAlaska
GiphyShut Up!
"Those loud as hell muffler exhaust modifications on some piece of crap 4 cylinder you can hear from a half mile away. Usually combined with a comically oversized spoiler."
clawsinyourface
"Also known as Fart Cannons. Makes a Civic sound like a pissed-off lawn mower."
apetnameddingbat
"My daughter calls them 'Tootie cars.'"
cookiesndwichmonster
Hate Them
"Advertising for their MLM."
Miss-Kelli
"It’s always 'consultant.' I love how MLMs have co-opted business languages. To me, a 'consultant' is a highly knowledgeable person in a specific field who’s paid for their expertise (or at least, that’s how it should be). Nobody needs a consultant for shitty candles or essential oils of dubious quality."
jbp84
Bad Energy
"The monster energy logo. Where are they even getting all of them, I see it so often on every douche car, USUALLY trucks bigger than they need."
Aware_Bet
HAHA !!! My s**t head of an ex husband has this !!! He also has a Monster Energy Logo tatted on him 🙄. I need to add he did not have any monster tattoos or decals on his car when we were married. Only after. I didn’t even know he liked energy drinks that much till I saw that one time at a drop. Now it’s all making sense."
Huh??
"A big Tapout sticker."
theflesheatingmuffin
"Tapout is still popular?? Hahaha I thought the whole Affliction/Tapout ship sailed by 2015."
bawzdeepinyaa
"I feel really bad for Tapout as a brand though, they were one of the originals and worked their way up, sponsoring a whole bunch of up and comers. Good trio all around."
dactyif
Not Him
"My friend's neighbor drives a car with big photos of Alex Jones on it, like an advertisement car wrap. His lawn has like 10 infowars signs on it."
Reasonable-Point4891
"I have a personal rule. Whenever I see an Info Wars or Alex Jones sticker on a wall or sign in a public place, I peel it off. I would probably do the same thing to a car. I understand letting people believe what they want, but when those beliefs involve harassing the parents of murdered children, that's where I draw the line."
hectoByte
Not a Cop
"Those ugly a** decals all over their car that say crap like 'POLICE' and 'SHERIFF.' and they have those annoying a** lights on the top."
lkodl
"Worse is when the car is black-on-black with no light bar, making it almost impossible to tell it's a cop until you're right beside them. So you're a douchebag and you're trying to hide and catch more tickets to boost your paycheck. Cool, cool cool cool."
DrMaxwellEdison
Break the Bulbs
"Those freaking bright a** white/blue LED headlights. Crap should be illegal."
CustosEcheveria
"It's more to do with the type of headlight, projectors are made for HID bulbs and are legal because they cut off the beam to stop from blinding oncoming traffic."
"The issue is when people throw the bulbs in their old car with reflector style headlights, you blind everyone on the road. Im pretty sure this is illegal, how enforced though I don't know. The color is another issue, my HIDs were 4500K, nearly perfect white. People throw in 12000K bulbs for some reason and they can't see s**t because they are so blue, still bright for everyone else though."
brohd11
I have a theory...
"Literally any of those stickers that imply they will ride your a** or break check you for doing anything that annoys them."
Practical_Spinach513
"I have a theory that every single decal/sticker that isn’t business-related (regardless of what it says) someone puts on their car automatically increases their douche factor by 10%."
"I think most people are around 10% douchebags (myself included), so 1 or 2 stickers don’t really mean too much to me. It’s when you get into multiple stickers territory that I tend to count them to predict their douche factor. I found it’s a pretty good litmus for douchebaggery."
Debaser626
Yeah... we're all judging you.
Reddit user Wolfies_Games asked:
"What's the most important thing to learn to be a good driver?"
So let's talk about some stuff the drivers here know nada about!
Paying Attention
"Pay attention."
"The amount of distracted drivers out there is insane. If you pay attention and maintain situational awareness you’ll be able to react to situations before they become accidents."
- Nasmix
"This was mine as well."
"Pay attention!"
"Driving becomes so mundane and mindless that it's crazy easy to get distracted or to expect everyone to behave as expected. Some people don't behave in the expected way and you won't see it until its too late if you're sending a text or trying to grab something out of the back seat."
- apollymii
"This! Also, don’t lose your focus becuase someone else is driving badly. I notice this happening to me. Every time there’s someone driving weird, chances are 30 seconds later I find myself thinking about that incident instead of paying attention to what’s happening presently."
- ConfidentValue6387
"I think it's best to pretend like everyone on the road is a dangerous idiot. It helps you avoid many crashes because you can anticipate people doing stupid things."
- i_dont_care_1943
happy homer simpson GIFGiphyBe Predictable
"A good driver is a predictable driver."
- WhiffMyAnus
"This is especially important to remember when driving on GPS in an unknown place. Sometimes you end up in the wrong lane, just follow through and take the wrong turn, don't make erratic last-minute lane changes."
- TheBrain85
"Be predictable not polite is the best advice I ever got about driving."
- bcorr12
"Glad this is the top comment. I hate when i get to a stop sign 1 second after someone else and they're trying to be nice by letting me go first. No, you get to the stop sign first, you go first. You are being more dangerous by being less predictable and not following the rules of the road."
- Bilbo_Bagels
"Came here to say this."
"Especially around trucks, trains, or anything heavier than average. Predictable is the safest way to be."
- Medium-Put-4976
D-Fence
"Many drivers ignore right-of-way. Drive defensively."
- Heckin_good_time
"Right of way is not something you HAVE, it is something you are GIVEN."
"A lesson from my dad. Never expect someone to cede the right of way. Just wait and watch what they're doing."
- shaidyn
"My mother always told me "Assume the other driver will do the wrong thing" and "Nice drivers are how accidents happen" meaning for example if you wave someone on and they don't have the right of way and other drivers don't notice you can cause as accident."
- Ty_J_Bryan
GiphyNo Sleepy Driving
"Never try to drive if you're feeling sleepy. The amount of preventable deaths caused by this is unfortunate."
"If you're driving and feel sleepy half way, find ways to keep you awake (chewing gum works great) long enough to find a safe place to park and get 5-10mins of shut eye."
- kctheboy3
"Exactly!!! Sleepy drivers can't react. And even if they react, they won't be fully capable to prevent an accident"
- Wolfies_Games
"I don't know about elsewhere, but the advice in my country (and on the theory test here) isn't to have a nap, having a 10-25 break and a coffee is recommended. Having a nap can make you more groggy and less aware"
- Felicfelic
"My friend who would stay up for days at a time doing questionable things swears that the only thing that can truly keep you awake is talking to someone. So if nobody is with you, calling someone and having it on speaker might do the trick."
- miss_misery__
"Yup! I once fell asleep driving on the highway and am somehow still alive to tell it. Hit the rumble strip and opened my eyes with enough time to yank the wheel back, somehow missed the cars around me, fishtailed for what felt like forever but probably was maybe 2 seconds, then just kept on like nothing happened. I should have died that day. I have no idea how I avoided everything and everyone."
- justbrowsing987654
Tired Modern Family GIF by PeacockTVGiphyGrandma's Wisdom
"My grandma taught me this rule when she took me driving: Always assume that everyone else is going to do something stupid. It's served me well."
"EDIT: One thing I wanted to add too. BE PATIENT WITH PEOPLE LEARNING TO DRIVE!"
"Don't forget that you were once that learner driver behind the wheel, terrified of handling a giant hunk of metal on wheels, trying not to hurt anyone. It can be a difficult thing to pick up and you shouldn't honk or get mad at learner drivers for making mistakes, they are LITERALLY LEARNING TO DRIVE and you getting angry is just going to rattle their confidence."
- TrueDeadBling
"Patient with learners? Yes please. I had an instructor who would frequently just freak out and start shaking because, 'See that car three back in the other lane? HE HAS A BEARD!' or something trivial like that."
"He acted like it was a nuclear crisis. I did not benefit from those lessons other than situational awareness in that sometimes the passenger is a really weird person who says stupid things that can be quite distracting."
- lawnmowersarealive
"I totally agree with your grandma, wise words of her"
"Driving casually is not hard, but driving abiding all the rules or driving fast on a track, that's hard."
- Wolfies_Games
Leave Space For Stopping
"Stay off the tail of the vehicle ahead of you."
"I knew a guy who would, for reasons unknown, look 90° to the left and accelerate when brake lights appeared ahead. We'd basically roar up onto them and I'd have to scream 'STOP!!' Put me into atrial fib more than once. No reason at all to do that-- no idea what he was doing."
- hmmm_thought_pig
"ALWAYS keep safe distance of the car in front and pay attention to road!"
"Hope you all were alright tho! Things like these are very stressful"
- Wolfies_Games
"Exactly. I was going to say dont fucking tailgate people. You are basically relying on your own reflexes and hoping the person in front of you doesn’t slam on their brakes for some reason."
My mom tailgates like a mofo sometimes and then tries to be bold and check her email on her phone and shit. I just take her phone and read it to her. She’s a menace but never been in a bad accident (knock on all the wood)."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Car-sonal SpaceUSE YOUR DAMN SIGNALS!
"I’ve taught numerous people to drive and I’m surprised I haven’t seen this in the responses but always keep a box of air around your car. It’s size varies with your speed but you need to always be checking your mirrors so that you have space on all sides to maneuver. You can’t be defensive if you have nowhere to go."
- Chewbagus
"I totally agree, you never want to stay in other people's blind spots or around them, it just makes an unsafe pack where everything will go down together"
- Wolfies_Games
"The amount of people that will just coast in my blind spot or directly next to me is unreal."
"I don't know how it doesn't immediately make them uncomfortable."
- MangoMambo
" 'Box of air'. I like the phrasing. I described it as “checkerboard” to my kids teaching them. Space open front, back, both sides. That way you always have a direction to bail. Never speed match a car to your left or right. Put yourself on their diagonal ahead of your blind spot or behind their blind spot."
- psgrue
Signal Your Turn
"USE YOUR DAMN SIGNALS!"
- BMoney8600
"AND TURN THEM ON BEFORE ACTUALLY DOING THE DAMN TURN!!!"
- Wolfies_Games
"YES"
- __Im_Dead_Inside_
"YES"
- lawnmowersarealive
"this is the best answer."
- TeachAManHOWToKaboom
"You do realize that all those other cars on the road are driven by actual people, right?"
"Those people need to be able to predict, with a reasonable degree of certainty, what all the other drivers around them are going to do. Signaling turns and lane change is law for a reason. Just f*cking do it."
- fantine9
season 8 episode 21 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyFour Words
"Patience, forgiveness, awareness, and tolerance."
"Be patient with traffic, other drivers, and animals. When driving was first invented, it was a leisurely activity for the rich. It was a privilege. It was intended to get us out and into the world. Aim for that experience."
"Forgive others as well as yourself. Did someone, “cut you off”, or did you accidentally begin a lane change towards another driver? Let it go. Smile. Apologize. Wave. Return to the task at hand."
"Look up, look around, and use your mirrors. Be aware of what is ahead, near, and behind you. Always be moving in the direction of less congestion, less conflict, more space, and larger margins for error. Turn down your music, put down your phone, eat before you leave or when you get there, and do your personal hygiene in a bathroom."
"Have nearly endless tolerance for people that don’t know or don’t care to follow these rules. If one person on the road is in a rush, mad at someone, focused on something other than driving, or is incapable of accepting that they aren’t the main character."
"- Don’t. Become. The. Second. Bad. Driver. Give them space, wave them on, ignore their actions, don’t take the bait. Let them go on about their day and get back to enjoying your drive."
"We’d all have a better experience if the majority of drivers did this."
- JLHawkins
Take It From A Pro
"I used to teach performance driving (not drivers Ed, which merely reaches you to operare a car)"
"Learn to set your mirrors properly. Doing so will keep you from having to check over your shoulder. Or even turning your head to see who is in your blind spot. If your mirrors are set correctly, you won't have a blind spot."
"When driving, look as far down the road as you can. Not at the nose of your car or the car in front of you. Many wrecks will be avoided this way."
"Learn how your brakes work and how to drive your car when your ABS is engaged and practice it. Consequently if you don't have ABS, learn to properly brake under manual braking."
"Always turn into a skid, even though it feels unnatural. And maintain speed."
"Don't be an asshat, and don't drive in the left lane unless you're passing someone. Also, don't use your phone in the car either. Seriously, most idiot drivers are on their phones."
"Always watch other drivers. They're stupid and will do stupid things, it's your job to avoid them."
"Learn to zipper merge."
"Keep your car well maintained."
"If other drivers are impatient with you, let them pass. It's not your job to make them obey the rules of the road or speed limits. It's your job to avoid them and let them go."
"Take a performance driving class at a local race track (in your own car, even if its a mini van, or. Prius or whatever). You'll learn a lot about driving and the car you drive most frequently."
- Xerisca
Bbc Family GIF by Top GearGiphyYeah nope, Florida drivers know absolutely nothing about that.
I was going to say "especially in Miami" but c'mon - have you ever been to Jacksonville? The whole state needs traffic Jesus.
Reddit user rsideoson asked:
"What is a word that sounds inappropriate?"
Don't worry, Reddit is absolutely no more mature than we are and we all deserve a childish giggle every now and then.
Throat Thingy
"Uvula (dangly bit in your throat)"
- prettysouthernchick
"Ooohhh, so it's a girl house"
- Lusty_Argonian_Man
" 'All god's children got a uvula!'."
- theoldroadhog
"In Swedish it is called gomspene whick translates to pallet teet."
- nemeras
"That little dangly thing that’s hanging in the back of their throat?"
- Admirable-Door1724
Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyA What Hole ?
"Manhole"
- NightOnFuckMountain
"Our city has had several instances of exploding manholes in the downtown area. My friends never let an opportunity to make such comments pass them by. (And I love them for it!)"
- Needspoons
"Played some drawing game once where you'd draw the word u get by the game and others would try guess it...my friend got that word and drew a .. manhole..like.. a literal manhole not the actual one, and that was when i learned that word lol"
- chaexhun
Chew Works Too
"Masticate"
- HoopOnPoop
"Especially at the dinner table.."
- BassWingerC-137
"Those mukbangers masticate all over the place"
- imccompany
"This is the winner."
- the_pointy
"Do you oppose public mastication?"
- Cy41995
Hot Dog Eating GIF by NBAGiphyLets Just Not Use It Anymore
"This is not a fun or funny example, but, 'niggardly'."
"Etymologically, it has absolutely nothing to do with that other word. They have totally different origins, and sound/look similar purely as a matter of coincidence."
"But it's just not worth the explanation when "stingy" or 'miserly" work just as well, so it's basically a dead word."
- rejectednocomments
"Even the Reverend Jesse Jackson defended the use of this word."
"Also, TIL he's still alive."
- AtTheLeftThere
"I remember being a preteen and stepdad using this word. I was horrified. He was mildly racist so I wasn’t too surprised but we were in public. 'Dad!!!! There’s a black woman right there!!!'."
"He explained what it meant but I sure never ever used that word."
- baxbooch
"Yeah this word is gone forever. There is no way of tossing that out in casual conversation ever again, and even if you did you'd have to spend a good few minutes defending what you meant and looking it up to prove it."
- coombuyah26
Playing Around With Speed
"Fartlek."
"It's a running term and as a grown man I still giggle when I hear it."
- PreppyFinanceNerd
"Wait is that how it’s spelled? I always thought it was Fartlick lol"
- Hydra57
"You guys use that? It's Norwegian, meaning speed game."
- Cheetah_Hungry
"Fartlek’s were misery in high school XC. Always just called it a fart lick"
- silverhammer96
Safari Park Running GIF by San Diego ZooGiphyFortunella Sounds Fancier
"Kumquat"
- blaketyner
"You rang?"
- Sour_Kumquat
"Got banned from a forum for calling someone a kumquat. No regrets."
- eclecticsed
"The restaurant I worked at had a kumquat margarita and for a good 2 weeks the menu accidentally had cumquat, but each time the manager tried to fix it they’d accidentally print the wrong on again and there’d be too many copies to just throw out."
- silverhammer96
"That's a good one"
- TheKalebPerkins
The 'L' Is Important
"Caulk"
- HiakaiSiempre
"This may only be true in American English...in other accents it's much less suggestive"
- Tel-aran-rhiod
"Hehe caulk"
- MrsFlubberbuns96
"Don't wanna wait forever for that caulk to harden"
- Brilliant_Succotash1
"I used to work for a construction company doing purchasing and apparently in the winter caulk gets cold and refuses to work so you need to put your caulk in a caulk warmer"
- nmw6
"My brother insists on over enunciating the L so it sounds like. Cow-LK"
- jawshoeaw
homer simpson GIFGiphyYou Sure About This One?
"Jiggers, also known as the chigoe flea. Similarly, chiggers, also known as berry bugs."
- ArmoredArmadillo05
"Jigger is also the little double-ended cup bartenders use for measuring alcohol for cocktails."
- PromptCritical725
"I was looking for these two."
- kazeespada
" 'Jigger' is used every day by Australian surveyors. It’s what we call our theodolites or Total Stations. Short for thingamajigger perhaps. If my mate’s jigger wasn’t cooperating, he’d say 'jigger please'.”
- rawker86
"What’s my motherf*cking name?"
- GeezRick
So Many Botanical Puns
"Clematis"
- bl0ckplane
"One summer day at a barbecue at my mum in laws, she walked outside and announced “wait til you see the size of the flower on my clematis” I snort inhaled my wine"
- Hatchetface1705
"I think they can cure that with a penicillin shot/s"
- 51225
"Another botanical word that makes me giggle:"
"Peonies"
- RunningFromSatan
"Scabiosa. Or, as the Brits would say, scabious."
- Tacoma__Crow
This Is Another One We Should Maybe Not Use
"Negus. It means a hot drink of port, sugar, lemon, and spices, and it's a royal title."
- JustPlay94_cryer
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
- YubNub81
"Doesn't it also refer to an Ethiopian king?"
- Dbwasson
"Negan in Roman times."
" 'I am Negus! Thou shalt provide me with copious produce!'."
- imjb87
You heard (and laughed at) Reddits appropriately inappropriate words, now it's your turn to get in on the fun.
For ice cream lovers, though, is there a flavor you just can't fathom being into?
OK, let's drop the euphemism.
Reddit User toadspool asked:
"What’s extremely difficult to make sexy?"
... so let's talk funky flavors.
Catching More Than Feelings
"Infections"
- WinterBackground7338
"Welp, unless you're into that. There's a 'steamy romance' novel out there called 'Kissing The Corona Virus' lmao"
- Outrageous_Claim_492
"Ever heard of bug chasers?"
- stratosauce
"Currently in bed with Covid, unclothed because of fever. My husband is so conflicted. He really wants to, but at the same time reeeeeally doesn't."
- iatemybabyssnot
That's A Hard One To Digest
Season 2 Chris GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Having stomach flu"
- TrainwreckMooncake
"My grandparents went to different high schools and met at a sports function. Grandpa didn't have a car. The first time he visited her at her house, his friends drove him and just waited outside."
"Grandma had a stomach bug. She said she knew he liked her because he had every excuse to leave but stayed quite a while to talk, even when his friends occasionally blared the horn to get him to leave."
- Atanion
"Idk about 'sexy' but most people feel a deeper connection when they have to take care of someone during a time of sickness."
- coolusername_png
"Especially when you have stuff coming out of both ends, so you lie in the bathtub while the combined force of v*miting and sh*tting propels you like a beyblade."
- PsychedelicIcyHot
Alternaria
"That mold in your bathroom grout."
- AFCBlink
"hello darkness my old friend"
- LordGeneralTimmy
"Oh those spores just make me so wet"
- master_meme_monk
"1part baking soda, 1part dish soap"
"Mix about 30 times and scrub with an old tooth brush and voila! You now have a sexy bathroom grout"
- Scorface
"Yo I have had this in my house for like a year and I always mop it away with hot ass water but it always creeps back months later. How do you get rid of that lol"
- ironicallyunstable
Walrus Love
"You know that thing at the Chinese restaurant where you take the chopsticks and you stick them under your top lip on each side of your mouth so it looks like walrus tusks and then you clap your hands and make walrus sounds? It's really hard to do that and make it sexy."
- WerewolfUnable8641
"On the contrary, this is very sexy to walruses."
- IndigoFenix
"Talk dirty to me..."
"Arf Arf Arf!"
- shanster925
Elmo Shamed
Tonight Show Television GIFGiphy"As a parent, wanting to get it on but having to push all the toddler toys and stuffies off the bed"
- urchisilver
"Yeah whenever Tickle Me Elmo is laying nearby and gets activated by my thrusts and starts laughing it really destroys my self esteem, the little punk."
- redfoot62
"Elmo slutshames you."
- Kevin_M_
Bob
"The name 'Bob.' Like, what do i do with that?"
- ImaginaryNewspaper89
"Bob is short for Robert so you just go by Roberto instead and now you got that sexy Spanish sounding name."
- Dragosal
"Que Linda Belcher 'Oh Bobby, Oh Bobby!' "
- Ghostshaddow
"Both of my grandfathers went by "Bob" and now I have disturbing scenarios in my head. Thanks for that!"
- tekende
No Love Lost
"A loveless relationship"
- spanglesandbambi
" 'Loveless relationship' referring to married or live in couples that have fallen out of love, yet stick with their convenient living situation anyway. Not 'loveless relationship' like sexy random hookups."
"With that definition, it sounds pretty terrible."
- oby100
"Been there, not sexy at all. It's a form of hell, really."
- Pom_Pom_1985
Sock Sex
"When the time is right, there's no sexy way for a man to take off his socks."
"The best way is to hide it, by taking each one off with its respective pant leg."
"Second best is peel most of the way and flick into the laundry pile, but if you miss, it reminds your wife of all the times you just leave your clothes where they drop, and it ruins her mood, and you're probably gonna have a honey-do list in the morning, and very few wives have ever put 'me' on the honey-do list."
"And then there's the granola boys in their sandals... Lucky bastards."
- tarhoop
Comic Fans Are All Over This One
tom hardy bane GIFGiphy"A cpap machine"
- mrpbeaar
"Lol my fiancée refers to mine as my bane mask. I think she found her own way to see it as sexy."
- chron67
"It’s like f*cking Darth Vader. Star Wars nerds are all over that."
- Joeyjackhammer
Catnip
"Egocentric and narcissistic people."
"But of course, every person feels different about this. The more other people like to get laid by egocentric and narcissist humans, the less I have to deal with it."
- Koetjeka
"People like this are like catnip to an old friend of mine, though."
- BarbicideJar
"Dude, at least one-third of anime/manga fandom are down bad for the worst characters lmao"
- wholesomeyartist
"the only true answer to this question"
- Rabit_x
Okay well ... we've learned today that maybe there really is someone for everyone ...
So, uh, narcissistic men named Bob who struggle to take their socks off and think the chopstick walrus thing is awesome, I guess this one was for you?