I can't even remember my last date. And I don't want to.
The First
Season 9 Wow GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy"She had her luggage with her, and expected to move in with me (1st date)."
kavijak
16
"Went on a group date when I was like 16. There were 2 established couples and I was seeing a guy for the first time. We went to a bowling alley my date's friend worked at. The entire time this guy was trying really hard to show off and in general being a massive tool. I was sitting with my friends on the outer right seat in the row. Date's friend was standing about 3 feet to my right."
"My date went to toss the bowling ball to his friend because he was sooo cool and strong. He missed so hard that the bowling ball hit my left shoulder and my friend's right shoulder (we were sorta leaning into each other to talk), then fell on another friend's foot. He got 3 of us in one throw. He awkwardly apologized and then said he needed to use the restroom. Didn't see him again and went home with my friends lol."
Puzzleheaded_Storm79
Baffling!!!
"On the only date, he pointed to another woman at the bar and said that was his ex. This woman happened to be my lesbian roommate who was there with her girlfriend. So I called BS. It’s still hilarious how bad his luck was. Why would I be interested in someone intentionally trying to make me jealous by lying? Baffling!"
Grapegoop
Blacked Out
"I was meeting a girl at a bar by her school, which was an hour away. We planned on bar hopping all night and I would spend the night at her house. When I got there, she was already black out drunk and her friends just left her with me. Wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt."
"Maybe she was just nervous and would sober up a bit. But no, she was belligerent the entire night and almost got in several girl fights for bumping into everyone as she walked around. when I came back from the bathroom she was being passed around a group of dudes as she grinded every one of them."
At this point idk what to do. I wanna just bail, but she's blacked out with a dead phone. So I hung out on my own, made some new friends, waiting for her to party herself out. She did, I walked her home and she started to ball her eyes out when she realized I wasn't spending the night. I've never felt more awkward or embarrassed in my life."
SprinklesMore8471
Check Please...
Check Please Premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"A guy took me out to dinner and excused himself to use the bathroom. Was gone for about 10 minutes. Found out the next day that he was actually in the parking lot having a quickie with the waitress, who knew a friend of mine."
Gardengoddess83
What in the world? I mean. And we still have more stories. Lord.
“ok I guess”
Happy Spring Break GIF by HBOGiphy"I had a very persistent neighbor who I finally agreed to go out with."
"I got to the restaurant and he had already ordered me a drink. He asked to order my food for me and I was like 'ok I guess.' He made comment after comment about my 'smoking hot' pale complexion. Asked me if my ex was circumcised. Told me that women who think they are equal to men are out of touch with reality."
"Wouldn’t let me pay half, so I asked to tip, but he told me the $20 I was going to leave was too much. I went to the bathroom and came back to a glass of wine that I’d already told him not to order. He texted me 15 minutes after the date saying 'with a woman of your complexion a man must be careful not to leave a hickey.'"
rapbattlechamp
not your babysitter...
"He told me we were going on a 7 mile out and back hike to go fly fishing. Turns out it was 7 miles of steep uphill to get there, we only fished for a few hours because we got rained out, when I asked for help he told me 'I’m not your babysitter' and farted the entire day because he ate a bean burrito on the drive over that morning."
"He also spoke to people we passed on the trail more than he spoke to me. The 7 mile hike back back downhill gave us both a ton of knee pain, and it was horrible. Worst part? It was the second date, because the first date was magical."
turtledovefarts
for practice...
"Not the worst date because there have been of course some that were legitimately scary but the most awkward at least. He spoke several languages and when I said I spoke a bit of one of them, he insisted that I needed to practice and kept speaking in that language even after I repeatedly and increasingly stronger terms said okay that was fun but let's go back to English now, we're in a loud crowded place and this is above my skill level."
"He kept agreeing and switching back but then switching to the other language again 'so I could get the practice.' He kept correcting my vocabulary too. And by the way this man started out by saying he was fluent in English but only advanced in this language, so it wasn't as though it was actually easier for him to speak it. I would have been happy to struggle through if that was our best language overlap."
deqb
THE. WHOLE. TIME.
"I'm sure other girls have scary dates that are much worse but here's my non-scary awful date... I told the guy on the site we met on that I was nervous when it came to dating so not to show up in a suit or anything. He showed up in a stained t-shirt and sweatpants with holes in them. It was a weird choice for 'casual' but he seemed interesting online so I stuck it out."
"I kid you not, he didn't stop talking about himself THE. WHOLE. TIME. I asked him a total of 3 questions and he asked none. He sounded like a preacher on a pulpit sharing his life story. Most uncomfortable, longest, date of my life. Needless to say there was no second date."
green_hobblin
I picked him up...
"First (and only) date. He shows up in smelly sweatpants and a stained shirt. I picked him up. We got to the movie theater and he had no money so I had to pay. Spent half the movie insulting me and the other half trying to grope me. All of that wasn’t the worst part though. The worst part is that I had mentioned my workplace in passing during the date and then he showed up there three times to try to see me again."
BananaOnionSoup
Running Off
"I picked out a restaurant that I had never been to because I thought I was being courteous or something picking a place closer to where she lived. It was almost totally empty aside from us, and the food was bad. Also, a few minutes into the date, I started to feel the rumbles and it could not wait. So I kept leaving her pretty much alone in this restaurant to rush to the bathroom."
"She probably thought I was running off to text my friends about what to do or something but it was just a very poorly timed case of diarrhea. Anyway, moral of the story is don't pick a restaurant you've never been to for a first date. Also don't eat Indian food for lunch when you have a dinner date."
ElToberino
We Did It!
married single ladies GIFGiphy"I have really bad social anxiety. A guy asked me out for lunch and in my mind, no one could want to date me, so I brought my bestie along to help keep up conversation. When we arrived he looked shocked, maybe even mortified, that’s when I realized it was (supposed) to be a date. Anyways now him and I are engaged and just put our deposit down for our venue!"
NakedMoleBrat
Where were you?
"When I made reservations and she agreed to meet me there. She never showed up and I ended up spending the evening talking with the waiter who made sure my wine glass stayed full. Made the best of an awkward situation."
AuzeroForemenius
Paid for by...
"It was actually a great date at first, bought me flowers, food, took me to the movies, even bought the expensive theater food which I insisted we didn't need because I felt bad about him spending money. I had an amazing time. About a year later I found out my parents had told him to take me out and payed for everything because they knew I deserved it. My bf at the time had tons of daddy's money and we were a broke family so it really made me upset."
MassiveFinish857
Go Home
"It never progressed to a date, but my college friend wanted to set me up with her boyfriend’s roommate. He walked into my dorm room, saw my Irish flag (hung to separate my bed from my roommate’s so I didn’t have to see her banging randos, just hear it) and asked if I was Irish. Uh, what would have given you that clue? 'Because my penis is Dublin.' Oh."
jmbf8507
That's Not You!
"Arranged meet up in the park with a girl on a dating app. Go, literally sit across from her on a park bench texting her that I don't see her. She had put on like 200 lbs from when her profile pictures were taken. Try to play it cool, okay we will just go for a walk. She immediately starts rubbing against me and trying to kiss. I noped out of there and got yelled at for fat shaming while I made my exit."
jaydoubleuw
Get Funky
Dance Dancing GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy"She got up and danced with another guy in the middle of our date. Then had the band announce they just got engaged. Later, he left on a bus and she asked me for a ride home because her fiancé doesn't own a car."
BewareofStobor
Too Soon!
"Had a girl confess that she loved me on the second date. She bought me a cookie cake with our names on it and say happy 2 weeks with hearts on it. The whole time she thinks people are hitting on her but all they’re doing is being nice. Then she fell asleep throughout the movie."
OkraFit3987
Single is looking so much better. Dating makes me want to sob.
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