It's rather sad to think that the majority of men in this world still let even the tiniest things threaten their masculinity.
As a result, countless (mainly heterosexual) men won't wear certain clothes, eat certain foods, or partake in certain activities.
All owing to the fact that they might not appear "manly" in front of present company.
On the flip side, many other men will go out of their way to do things to prove their masculinity.
Needless to say, all of these fears and stigmas are ludicrous, to say the least.
"What is the dumbest thing men associate their masculinity with?"
Nothing Screams "Manly" Like A Sunburn...
"Not wearing sunscreen."
"I can’t count the number of times people seem shocked I’m wearing it."- ImperialCapybara
Real Men Don't Need To Hear What You're Saying...
"My grandpa was nervous about his hearing aids being 'too feminine'.”- professionalDrTalker
In With The Wrong Crowd...
"I said I’m gonna get some drinks and got called 'gay' because saying drinks instead of a drink wasn’t masculine enough."- Breakfastbaconat0r
Happy Hour Dancing GIF by New GirlGiphy"I'm A Man, I Know When I'm Sick!"
"Not Going to a doctor when something seems wrong."- icomefromjupiter
Unless You're Superman, Even So...
"Not protecting yourself from easily-mitigated hazards."
"Silicosis risk?"
"Dustmask."
"Driving?'"
"Seatbelt."
"Skin cancer?"
"Sunscreen."
"Imagine thinking you’re tougher than the f*cking sun."- Ludwigofthepotatoppl
Season 4 Hospital GIF by NBCGiphyUm...
"I recall a tourist local once fighting a crocodile for a girl's number."
"He lost, but the girl still agreed to a date."- Ok-Seaworthidssw
No Grip Needs To Be That Firm!
"Trying to crush someone’s hand when handshaking.''
"There is a difference between greeting and assault."- SuvenPan
Have They Never Seen A James Bond Movie?
"Lacking hygiene."
"I've encountered guys who bragged about never washing their hands."
"I specifically remember seeing some opinion piece shared on Facebook about how women tend to prefer men who take care of their skin."
"First comment was some boomer posting a selfie saying, 'I've never used moisturizer, this is what a rEaL MaN looks like!'"
"Setting aside that this dude predictably looked like a sunburnt dipsh*t, it was such a pathetic thing to be proud of."-R1DER_of_R0HAN
Hungry Henry Danger GIF by NickelodeonGiphyNothing Says Grown Up Like Playing Video Games All Night...
"Getting proper sleep."
"I often have issues going to sleep and some days I just stare at the ceiling for 5 hours rather then sleep."
"I tell people if I seem a bit off I didn't get any sleep."
"A lot of the times I have a guy call me a p*ssy because he purposely stayed up late to play video games or hitting the town."
"I'm sorry I like to feel well rested."- Vexonte
Some Role Model...
"Being an incompetent father."
"You have four kids and you've never changed a diaper?"
"That's not a brag, dude."- doghorsecatbaby
Unless He Actually Likes Being Wet...
"My dad will claim he doesn't need an umbrella because 'real men' don't need them."
"Ok dad."- spidergirl79
Raining Weather Report GIFGiphyBeige On The Inside And The Outside
"Wearing certain colors."- Tubie123
We Hear You!
"Being loud."
"Men think adding volume to their voices helps their masculinity and dominance."
"But there's nothing more threatening looking than my 5'7 male boss walking in Stealth Mode with a crow bar to go get something unstuck from a machine."
"He's more intimidating in those moments than any man who has ever yelled in my presence."
"It's fine to be naturally loud by default."
"I'm that way."
"It's when men will try to use loudness as an intimidation tactic against others."- DarkInkPixie
loud noises anchor man GIF by FirstAndMondayGiphyIt's sad to think men will and won't do so many things for fear of being judged.
Particularly as any real "man" knows that, as long as they are treating others with kindness, other people's opinions are meaningless.
Even in this supposedly progressive modern age, far too many men feel self-conscious about the natural act of crying.
Feeling that it's not a manly thing to do, even though many would argue that it takes a real man not to be afraid to tear up publicly.
Of course, even the most unabashedly masculine men don't have complete control over their emotions and find their eyes watering unexpectedly every now and then.
Sometimes giving in to grief, sometimes overcome with joy, and sometimes simply owing to a corny commercial for coffee.
Sometimes this happens when nobody's around. Other men aren't so lucky.
"Men of Reddit, when did you last cry and why?"
Genuine Fear For Their Family
"Crying in my car right now."
"My wife has cancer."
"It scares me to death."
"I have to be brave at home."
"My car has become my place to escape to cry and release my fear and sorrow."- shmozzfinish
"At the hospital with my 2-year-old daughter."
"She just had a seizure in the waiting room."
"I felt so lost and useless."
"But it cut the wait time down to seconds!"- garsk05
Grief
"Few weeks ago."
"Friend died."
"Cried myself to sleep for a few nights."- PizzaPoopF**k
Funerals
"3 years ago."
"In my fathers funeral."- JOVA1982
Pets Passing
"January 4th."
"On January 1st, I got a message from my dad that the family dog had a stroke and passed away in the front yard."
"During the time before I stood at his grave just before I left to head back to my home, I just didn’t cry. I was questioning why I wasn’t."
"Then, standing at his grave, just a rush of emotions came in and just sobbed my heart out, then got in the car with my girlfriend and had to drive home."
"His name was Snitchel, and he was a good 14-year-old pupper."
"I’m 21, so he was a part of my life for about 70% of it."
"Was hard to say goodbye, especially because I wasn’t able to see him on Christmas because I got Covid, and I didn’t get to see him open his Christmas gifts like he usually does, during Christmas and in general during his final days."- ASexyCow0090
Spousal Loss
"My wife died."- Pitbull60usa
It's Been So Long, They Wish It Would Happen.
"I don't remember."
"I feel so sad and lonely sometimes but I still can't cry."
"I wish I could cry like a kid again."- spootex
Too Much All At Once
"About 2 yeats ago, was dealing with a lot of work an personal sh*t."
"Was at my limit of sh*t I can handle."
"I get a phone call that a childhood friend that I've known since we were 4 died in a car accident."- Mechanic_Me_Harder
"A few days ago."
"Broke down due to stress over everyday things."- einarn
Caught By Surprise
"Last night, just thinking about my mum."- TheH1dden1
Songs
"Last night, I heard 'Follow You To Virgie' by Tyler Childers for the first time, and memories of my mom hit me like a freight train."
"She’s been gone for 28 years now but when you least expect it the waterworks can come out of nowhere."
"Felt good if I’m honest."- GhostRN
Along With Many Others, No Doubt
"The Last of Us episode 3."- brucek951
A Broken Heart
"Tonight."
"My best friend told me that I don't make her happy, and that she doesn't want me in her life anymore."
"I'm in love with her."- helenemayer
Unbridled Joy
"Last night sent my girlfriend the basic Good night message."
"She replied back with 'I love you'."
"Sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me."- raskoe47
Post Traumatic Stress
"Two weeks ago."
"When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me."
"I quit a few days later and I start my new job on the 27th."- Karnezar
While Peter Allen may have encouraged us not to "cry out loud," to "keep it inside" and "learn how to hide [our] feelings," sometimes letting out a good cry proves to be just the therapy we need.
For what it's worth when Liza Minelli (coincidentally or not, Allen's ex-wife) covered the song, she altered it to exactly the opposite message.
When in doubt, go with Liza.
In spite of considerable work being, and progress, made to change things, it remains a fact that men have countless advantages in modern society.
In addition to not having to deal with several biological issues all women must endure, men still seem to have the upper hand when applying for positions of power, or being trusted with major responsibilities.
As a result, those who do not identify as men often roll their eyes when men of any age offer even the slightest complaint.
Which doesn't mean that plenty of men still maintain that there are definite downsides to carrying those he/him pronouns.
Redditor jojomecoco was curious to hear what the men of Reddit considered the biggest obstacles and challenges which come with their gender, leading them to ask:
"Boys, what's the downside to being a male?"
What lies between one's legs...
"Getting hit in the nuts."- Phantomtastic
"Balls stick to leg."- BuffGroot
Societal Expectations
"All the expectations."
"'We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon'."- SparkAxolotl
"Our childhood interests don’t truly change much into adulthood, but we are often seen as childish if we continue to pursue them."
"One of my greatest laments is the magnitude of friends who said, 'when I grow up I’ll be able to afford..,' yet abandoned those dreams due to social conditioning."- nixxy19
nicksplat doug GIFGiphyDon't let a persona fool you.
:Being called a creep when you call a kid adorable."- OkraFit3987
Men like hugs too...
"I haven't been hugged in 14 years."- Delphii42
It can be hard for everyone...
"Whatever dating is now."- Thompson_S_Sweetback
"The loneliness."- ReindeerMean6253
lonely season 7 GIFGiphyOuch
"Almost never get compliments."
"Ever."- Redbeardthe1st
What are your intentions, exactly?
"I can’t be nice to women without them thinking I’m hitting on them or what have you."
"Like yeah you’re pretty but also, I’m just being polite."- pdeagz
When push comes to shove, sometimes we all feel like the world is against us, and we have to face an uphill battle.
But if one were to provide a study, the likely outcome would prove that men, namely white, cisgender, heterosexual men, often have a much less steep hill to climb than anyone else.
And though it might certainly be a different sensation, getting hit really hard between the legs is painful for everyone.
We spend a lot of time talking about the toxic aspects of masculinity, but there's so much more to being "manly" than anger and weird smells.
Reddit user Acolyte_000 asked:
"We hear a lot about toxic masculinity, but what are your favourite examples of positive masculinity?"
There's stuff like figure skating, tea parties, and warm hugs - take a look at what we mean.
Gym Bros
"Gym bros randomly appearing to spot or encourage is hilarious and positive."
- DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE
"I was trying to figure out a machine at the gym, when I was 19. I was chubby, female (still female, fyi) and wearing glasses. My gym clothes was just sweatpants."
"I did NOT look like I belonged, and I didn’t feel like it either."
"So yeah, I’m standing there looking all confused when this huge gym bro comes over and asks me if I need help. I say yes, and he proceeds to explain to me how the machine works. He is not condescending or anything, just real nice."
"Gyms still freak me out, but it meant a lot to me that this dude saw I looked confused and went out of his way to help me. Small things like that always make me feel like humanity is alright."
- simulatislacrimis
Working Out Lifting Weights GIF by Chance The RapperGiphy"I feel like I owe it to the world."
"I was once an overweight 19 year old trying to figure how to gym. I've had so many random people help me along the way including professional strongmen, bodybuilders, elite powerlifters, and people with decades of experience."
"90% of the people I've interacted with at the gym have been extremely helpful and thankful."
"Over a decade of training and it's apparent to most that I can lift some big weight. I make it a point to help the younger lifters. Most of the time it really makes their day, they learn something new and are appreciative."
- OreoPunchDonky
"I’m a woman who usually lifts solo, and a good guy friend is a hardcore gym bro who texts fantastic advice (bonus - usually only when I ask for it!) and encouragement. That’s awesome by itself."
"But once I joined him and his friends for leg day and witnessed super positive masculinity that struck me as so cool - the way they hyped each other up, encouraged/spotted each other to 'give me one more, come on you got this!!!' and congratulated each other after was just so pure and cool to watch."
"It’s not that women don’t do something similar, I think what made me really notice this was just that it was the different masculine style of doing it? It was awesome."
- GonePlaid2
Buying Drinks
"My husband switching seats on an airline with a teenage girl being harassed by an old creep."
"He's very large, bearded, and wears metal t-shirts. He plopped down next to creeper and said 'you said you were buying drinks?' "
- sagegreenpaint78
"F*ck yeah! Metalheads might look scary, but you'd be hard pressed to find a more friendly and welcoming bunch!"
- vidarino
"As a mom of 2 daughters, I appreciate this so much. What a great guy!"
- Sleeplesshelley
Raising One
"I fell asleep on the sofa after a really hard day, but I was sort of dozing, not fully asleep."
"My 16 year old son came into the room, saw me sleeping, and started tiptoeing around, shut the blinds, turned the lights off and covered me in a blanket because he was going to use the backyard gym which required a window to be open for an extension lead and he didn't want me to get cold."
"It was just so thoughtful and did surprise me a bit because he normally has tunnel vision."
"He's also really stepped up the last few weeks, I've been on sick leave, I'm a nurse and got attacked by a patient so have my hand in a soft cast for ligament damage."
"He's cooked pretty much every evening. He has also been meal planning for the week. I am married, but it's turned into a bit of 'us time' and he's really enjoying learning to cook."
"I'm so proud of him and told him this the other day and we had a huge hug. I love him so much."
- teflonfairy
Figure Skating Fans
"I’m a figure skater."
"We share the ice with hockey players, and I cannot get over how nice it feels when hockey players get rowdy and bang on the glass and cheer when you’re doing something cool, the same way a hockey fan would at an exciting hockey game."
"It’s hilarious but it’s also confidence inducing."
"When it first happened, I thought they were trolling me. I just rolled my eyes and continued my practice. But when I got off the ice, I was swarmed with questions like:"
“ 'HOW DO YOU DO ALL THAT WITHOUT PADDING OR A HELMET?!' ”
“ 'HOW DO YOU LAUNCH YOURSELF INTO THE AIR LIKE THAT?' ”
“ 'AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF FALLING?' ”
“ 'DON’T YOU GET DIZZY SPINNING THAT FAST?'"
"It’s wholesome as f*ck. They’re genuinely intrigued by this sport."
"A bunch of dudes who make their own sport even more entertaining by beating the sh*t out of each other have no shame in getting rowdy to hype up their figure skating counterparts."
- Preskewl_Prostitewt
"I know how skating works and just jumping and spinning like you do is voodoo, at least to me."
"I get pucks shot at my head, but what you do seems a lot more dangerous! And you make it look good, it's really impressive."
- figaaro
Celebrate Ice Hockey GIF by NHLGiphy5 Minutes To Get Some Pants On
"Using pickup trucks to help others out."
"Need help moving? In the Ditch? Stuck in the snow? 'Gimme 5 mins to throw some pants on and I'm there.' "
- Kate_be_my_GF
"A lot of guys around me just drive around in their pickups during snowstorms to pull out people who are stuck. Or they carry chainsaws with them to cut trees that are blocking the roadways."
- anoncop1
"That's my circle! I've had to leave in the middle of the night several times for random... 'dude I need help.' "
"My favorite to date was 'You're not going to believe this but I am stuck, bring your floor jack and chainsaw..' "
"He was literally stuck on top of a tree stump."
- cloudywater1
Lift Like A Leader
"I had a boss that was a real muscle head, but in a good way. Every time someone was having a bad/rough time he'd suggest we take a long lunch and go with him to the gym."
"He did this with multiple co-workers, taught a lot of us how to properly squat and deadlift."
"This was like 7 years ago, and I still squat and deadlift regularly, where as before I would simply just use the treadmill and maybe the circuit room at the gym."
"Not saying I'm in peak physical condition, but certainly in a better spot after him helping."
- Moots_point
"That's not a boss dude, that's a leader."
- Aguythatdidthething
"Exercise really is meditation."
"You get so focused on the movement, on the exertion, that it takes your focus, and your thoughts are no longer on what was previously stressing you."
- MarkToaster
"That is dope. Exercise is such a great stress reliever and there’s no reason that 'work' needs to only take place in the office."
"If a manager needs to talk something through with their worker, why not do it on the bench or at the rack?"
"Me and my former boss might have had better discussions if we’d done that rather than sitting 1:1 in his office with me uncomfortable as hell."
- juancake511
Manly Dads
"Manly dads who patiently sit on the floor and have a tea party with their toddler daughters."
- marcus_borealis
"Speaking from experience, it's relaxing as f*ck."
"Lets me forget that the world is on my shoulders while I just sip some tea with My daughter, Barbie, and the LOL dolls."
- BellEnd1980
"I’m 6’3 200lbs but I have a toddler niece that loves tea parties."
"If she puts a tiara on my head and tells me we’re having a tea party , you bet I’m going deep into character as Mrs. Nesbitt!"
"It'll be the best tea party of your life. Trust me."
"Also it helps when there’s young men around. I have little brothers and I think it’s important to show that you can do things not perceived as masculine. And vice versa for women."
- Sammsquanchh
you need to calm down queer eye GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphyBro Hug
"In high school one time, a guy gave his guy best friend a birthday gift. Guy 2 loved it so much he gave guy 1 the biggest hug in the middle of class."
"I think everyone’s hearts melted. All guys should be that confident / allowed to be that confident."
- 2curmudgeony
"Positive friendships between men are SO important. Men being able to share their feelings and navigate their experiences with other men is too rare."
- shandyism
"I got my homie a succulent for his birthday!"
- ThaDFunkee
Hairy Sweaty Guardian Angels
"A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was a 13-year-old girl alone on a Greyhound bus from Florida to Georgia."
"I was on that stupid bus for 2 days. For the first 4 hours, the creepiest hobo in the universe sat next to me, randomly trying to grab me - who was 13 years old and alone on the bus."
"Then these two guys who were going all the way to Washington State and were going to be on that bus for 4 days to get to a logging job, boarded the bus. One was a 17-year-old kid and the other one was a 45 year old man."
"They ousted the hobo and sat with me the rest of the way, the 17-year-old sharing stories about growing up in Miami in a very intolerant Latino household, and the 45-year-old Man spent that time showing me pictures of his daughters and telling me all about them and how hard he was working to make sure they had everything they needed."
"They made sure I got dinner that night, they made sure I got breakfast the next morning, and they made sure that I safely made it from the bus to the main campus of Georgia tech University, for the stupid 'Future Engineering' teen conference I had to go to."
"That trip could have been a horror story for me at the tender age of 13. I do not know how in the world my mother thought this was safe in any way, to send me to Georgia by myself on a Greyhound bus at 13."
"Those two dudes were, to put it simply, my hairy and sweaty guardian angels."
"Norwegian blonde dude and Latino kid, it has been decades since this went down, but I still remember you both and always will."
- FlamingJuneinPonce
Reddit loves a good man and now we have examples of just what that means.
You've heard their stories, now it's your turn. Tell us about your brush with positive masculinity in the comments!
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What does it mean to be manly? For many, that means being the provider for one's family.
It might mean being able to be strong in the face of adversity and not cracking under pressure. For others, it all comes down to actions they take in their daily lives.
"Manliness" might be an arbitrary term, come to think of it, but these stories certainly are not. Strength and courage–and simple acts of kindness–defy all gender boundaries.
People told us their experiences after a Redditor asked the online community:
"What's the manliest thing you've ever done?"
"Saw a car crash..."
"Saw a car crash happen right in front of us on the interstate. Guy pinned between the dash and the guardrail, was getting crushed. 5 or 6 of us lifted the car off of him and held it for five minutes or so until the fire rescue guys could secure it. Other guys would step in during the 5 minutes as guys got tired."
CaptainComic
Sounds like you're all real life superheroes! Amazing!
"Saved my brother from drowning in the ocean in Alaskan winter. He collapsed in the water, and almost got hypothermia, I pulled him to shore, and he started seizing and groaning, I carried him to the nearest shower, and put him in warm water and slowly heated up the water over time. He later gained consciousness and thanked me."
"I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins while I carried him, that was the scariest moment of my life. Thankfully a nearby newly wedded groom and bride saw the event, and allowed us into their Airbnb."
ManlyHorror2
Thrilled to hear that you werre able to save him. That must have been so terrifying.
"Pulled six people out..."
"Pulled 6 people out of a burning home in just a pair of gym shorts. I was on the show NY Ink for what was supposed to be a hero episode. Had to go back in and get oxygen tanks to give to an older woman."
leakyokippy
Wow, you are truly someone special. You changed the course of many lives by saving those people! A job well done.
"I once roared at..."
"I once roared at a mountain lion that was on my friend's property. It started at me for a second, then turned around and merged back into the night. I count it as a win."
BenderIsGr834
This sounds like a good premise for a funny TV show: Can You Roar Louder Than a Mountain Lion?
"I helped..."
"I'm a high school teacher. I helped a group of boys tie their ties for graduation."
Grughaz
Hey, that's a skill they'll appreciate for the rest of their lives. Few things make a man look more well put together than wearing a suit and tie.
"Designed..."
"Designed and built all of my own furniture."
markdubois
Well, lookee here! Can you do mine next? Thanks in advance.
"Tying an elderly woman's..."
"Tying an elderly woman’s shoe so that she wouldn’t trip, that elderly woman used to be my grade 6 teacher."
Fuckler
Awww. This is lovely to hear. She really must have appreciated it.
"Gave my combative and delirious father..."
"Gave my combative and delirious father sedatives to help ease his pain/anxiety before he passed away. Then I helped the nurse wash him before the funeral home took him. I was 20 and studying to be a nurse."
cgaels6650
You are a good child. If you have the ability to help ease your loved ones into the next stage pain free, wouldn't you?
"Took him down..."
"Chased down a large man who robbed two people at a football game. Took him down, took his bag, and subdued him until police arrived. I then took off immediately because I didn’t want to have to do a police report."
Pheboosa
You sound like a regular caped crusader. Job well done. You did a good deed and you managed to avoid uncomfortable attention.
"Saved a little girl..."
"Saved a little girl from drowning after she was pulled out by a rip current. The lifeguards got mad and her parents never thanked me."
FettyG_
No good deed goes unpunished. But you did a good thing anyway.
Manliness? What's that?
These are stories of people who did some really cool and wonderful things – and that goes beyond labels.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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