Reddit user Acolyte_000 asked:
"We hear a lot about toxic masculinity, but what are your favourite examples of positive masculinity?"
There's stuff like figure skating, tea parties, and warm hugs - take a look at what we mean.
Gym Bros
"Gym bros randomly appearing to spot or encourage is hilarious and positive."
- DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE
"I was trying to figure out a machine at the gym, when I was 19. I was chubby, female (still female, fyi) and wearing glasses. My gym clothes was just sweatpants."
"I did NOT look like I belonged, and I didn’t feel like it either."
"So yeah, I’m standing there looking all confused when this huge gym bro comes over and asks me if I need help. I say yes, and he proceeds to explain to me how the machine works. He is not condescending or anything, just real nice."
"Gyms still freak me out, but it meant a lot to me that this dude saw I looked confused and went out of his way to help me. Small things like that always make me feel like humanity is alright."
- simulatislacrimis
Working Out Lifting Weights GIF by Chance The RapperGiphy"I feel like I owe it to the world."
"I was once an overweight 19 year old trying to figure how to gym. I've had so many random people help me along the way including professional strongmen, bodybuilders, elite powerlifters, and people with decades of experience."
"90% of the people I've interacted with at the gym have been extremely helpful and thankful."
"Over a decade of training and it's apparent to most that I can lift some big weight. I make it a point to help the younger lifters. Most of the time it really makes their day, they learn something new and are appreciative."
- OreoPunchDonky
"I’m a woman who usually lifts solo, and a good guy friend is a hardcore gym bro who texts fantastic advice (bonus - usually only when I ask for it!) and encouragement. That’s awesome by itself."
"But once I joined him and his friends for leg day and witnessed super positive masculinity that struck me as so cool - the way they hyped each other up, encouraged/spotted each other to 'give me one more, come on you got this!!!' and congratulated each other after was just so pure and cool to watch."
"It’s not that women don’t do something similar, I think what made me really notice this was just that it was the different masculine style of doing it? It was awesome."
- GonePlaid2
Buying Drinks
"My husband switching seats on an airline with a teenage girl being harassed by an old creep."
"He's very large, bearded, and wears metal t-shirts. He plopped down next to creeper and said 'you said you were buying drinks?' "
- sagegreenpaint78
"F*ck yeah! Metalheads might look scary, but you'd be hard pressed to find a more friendly and welcoming bunch!"
- vidarino
"As a mom of 2 daughters, I appreciate this so much. What a great guy!"
- Sleeplesshelley
Raising One
"I fell asleep on the sofa after a really hard day, but I was sort of dozing, not fully asleep."
"My 16 year old son came into the room, saw me sleeping, and started tiptoeing around, shut the blinds, turned the lights off and covered me in a blanket because he was going to use the backyard gym which required a window to be open for an extension lead and he didn't want me to get cold."
"It was just so thoughtful and did surprise me a bit because he normally has tunnel vision."
"He's also really stepped up the last few weeks, I've been on sick leave, I'm a nurse and got attacked by a patient so have my hand in a soft cast for ligament damage."
"He's cooked pretty much every evening. He has also been meal planning for the week. I am married, but it's turned into a bit of 'us time' and he's really enjoying learning to cook."
"I'm so proud of him and told him this the other day and we had a huge hug. I love him so much."
- teflonfairy
Figure Skating Fans
"I’m a figure skater."
"We share the ice with hockey players, and I cannot get over how nice it feels when hockey players get rowdy and bang on the glass and cheer when you’re doing something cool, the same way a hockey fan would at an exciting hockey game."
"It’s hilarious but it’s also confidence inducing."
"When it first happened, I thought they were trolling me. I just rolled my eyes and continued my practice. But when I got off the ice, I was swarmed with questions like:"
“ 'HOW DO YOU DO ALL THAT WITHOUT PADDING OR A HELMET?!' ”
“ 'HOW DO YOU LAUNCH YOURSELF INTO THE AIR LIKE THAT?' ”
“ 'AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF FALLING?' ”
“ 'DON’T YOU GET DIZZY SPINNING THAT FAST?'"
"It’s wholesome as f*ck. They’re genuinely intrigued by this sport."
"A bunch of dudes who make their own sport even more entertaining by beating the sh*t out of each other have no shame in getting rowdy to hype up their figure skating counterparts."
- Preskewl_Prostitewt
"I know how skating works and just jumping and spinning like you do is voodoo, at least to me."
"I get pucks shot at my head, but what you do seems a lot more dangerous! And you make it look good, it's really impressive."
- figaaro
Celebrate Ice Hockey GIF by NHLGiphy5 Minutes To Get Some Pants On
"Using pickup trucks to help others out."
"Need help moving? In the Ditch? Stuck in the snow? 'Gimme 5 mins to throw some pants on and I'm there.' "
- Kate_be_my_GF
"A lot of guys around me just drive around in their pickups during snowstorms to pull out people who are stuck. Or they carry chainsaws with them to cut trees that are blocking the roadways."
- anoncop1
"That's my circle! I've had to leave in the middle of the night several times for random... 'dude I need help.' "
"My favorite to date was 'You're not going to believe this but I am stuck, bring your floor jack and chainsaw..' "
"He was literally stuck on top of a tree stump."
- cloudywater1
Lift Like A Leader
"I had a boss that was a real muscle head, but in a good way. Every time someone was having a bad/rough time he'd suggest we take a long lunch and go with him to the gym."
"He did this with multiple co-workers, taught a lot of us how to properly squat and deadlift."
"This was like 7 years ago, and I still squat and deadlift regularly, where as before I would simply just use the treadmill and maybe the circuit room at the gym."
"Not saying I'm in peak physical condition, but certainly in a better spot after him helping."
- Moots_point
"That's not a boss dude, that's a leader."
- Aguythatdidthething
"Exercise really is meditation."
"You get so focused on the movement, on the exertion, that it takes your focus, and your thoughts are no longer on what was previously stressing you."
- MarkToaster
"That is dope. Exercise is such a great stress reliever and there’s no reason that 'work' needs to only take place in the office."
"If a manager needs to talk something through with their worker, why not do it on the bench or at the rack?"
"Me and my former boss might have had better discussions if we’d done that rather than sitting 1:1 in his office with me uncomfortable as hell."
- juancake511
Manly Dads
"Manly dads who patiently sit on the floor and have a tea party with their toddler daughters."
- marcus_borealis
"Speaking from experience, it's relaxing as f*ck."
"Lets me forget that the world is on my shoulders while I just sip some tea with My daughter, Barbie, and the LOL dolls."
- BellEnd1980
"I’m 6’3 200lbs but I have a toddler niece that loves tea parties."
"If she puts a tiara on my head and tells me we’re having a tea party , you bet I’m going deep into character as Mrs. Nesbitt!"
"It'll be the best tea party of your life. Trust me."
"Also it helps when there’s young men around. I have little brothers and I think it’s important to show that you can do things not perceived as masculine. And vice versa for women."
- Sammsquanchh
you need to calm down queer eye GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphyBro Hug
"In high school one time, a guy gave his guy best friend a birthday gift. Guy 2 loved it so much he gave guy 1 the biggest hug in the middle of class."
"I think everyone’s hearts melted. All guys should be that confident / allowed to be that confident."
- 2curmudgeony
"Positive friendships between men are SO important. Men being able to share their feelings and navigate their experiences with other men is too rare."
- shandyism
"I got my homie a succulent for his birthday!"
- ThaDFunkee
Hairy Sweaty Guardian Angels
"A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was a 13-year-old girl alone on a Greyhound bus from Florida to Georgia."
"I was on that stupid bus for 2 days. For the first 4 hours, the creepiest hobo in the universe sat next to me, randomly trying to grab me - who was 13 years old and alone on the bus."
"Then these two guys who were going all the way to Washington State and were going to be on that bus for 4 days to get to a logging job, boarded the bus. One was a 17-year-old kid and the other one was a 45 year old man."
"They ousted the hobo and sat with me the rest of the way, the 17-year-old sharing stories about growing up in Miami in a very intolerant Latino household, and the 45-year-old Man spent that time showing me pictures of his daughters and telling me all about them and how hard he was working to make sure they had everything they needed."
"They made sure I got dinner that night, they made sure I got breakfast the next morning, and they made sure that I safely made it from the bus to the main campus of Georgia tech University, for the stupid 'Future Engineering' teen conference I had to go to."
"That trip could have been a horror story for me at the tender age of 13. I do not know how in the world my mother thought this was safe in any way, to send me to Georgia by myself on a Greyhound bus at 13."
"Those two dudes were, to put it simply, my hairy and sweaty guardian angels."
"Norwegian blonde dude and Latino kid, it has been decades since this went down, but I still remember you both and always will."
- FlamingJuneinPonce
Reddit loves a good man and now we have examples of just what that means.
You've heard their stories, now it's your turn. Tell us about your brush with positive masculinity in the comments!
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Curious to hear from our male friends online who've personally had to explain themselves, Reddit soyeahithrowaway asked:
"Men of Reddit, what was the most ridiculous reason why someone questioned your masculinity?"
Guys got "read" by others for being literate.
The Bookworm
"I was reading a book on my lunch break while I was working construction, and got a bunch of sh*t about reading being for women. Which is easily one of the top 15 of the stupidest things I've heard said out loud."
– Middle-Eye2129
Writing Well Is Gay
"My BIL told my SO that he writes ‘like a f*g,’ by which he means in full paragraphs, with proper spelling and grammar. Apparently writing like an adult with a firm grasp of the English language is extremely gay."
"We’ve also been told to not gift his children books because 'books aren’t real presents.'”
"Personally, I’m convinced my BIL is functionally illiterate because his anti-reading stance is completely insane unless he’s desperately trying to hide the fact that he can’t understand anything more complex than text messages that are 95% movie quotes."
– Cheaperthantherapy13
Keeping up with appearances can draw judgment.
Man's Castle
"My apartment was clean."
– NorCalDustin
Safety Is So Not Manly
"For wearing gloves while welding."
– masonsweats
Staying Warm
"Being dressed for cold weather. Apparently wearing a men's jacket is not manly."
– SparkAxolotl
Office Supplies
"At work I gave a guy a report and it had a pink paperclip on it."
"He asked me why I gave him a pink paperclip. I told him I just grabbed one. He then asked why I had a pink paperclip - I told him I had a rainbow pack."
"Then he wanted to know why, when I saw it was pink, I didn't throw it away. He told me I shouldn't use pink paperclips 'people might have questions.'"
"So anyway I spread that story to basically everyone at work and then everyone wanted some of my pink paperclips to use when they gave him stuff."
– Everyday_Im_Stedelen
All Tied Up
"About 30 years ago, they came out with neon string lines. As I work construction, I am constantly using string to ensure things are straight. By far, the brightest of the strings was a pink one."
"So, I was constantly chided by the crew for having a pink string. This only happened until it started getting closer to dusk, at which point they all wanted to borrow my string."
– Dioscouri
Requires Demonstration
"Somebody once told me I wasn't applying deodorant manly enough."
– PearSB
"You set fire to the can and let it explode behind you as you look epically to the camera."
– Astrophobia42
"Did you put the can up your butt ?"
– Comfortable_Donut679
Scrutinizing Kindness
"Got accused of being gay for being nice to people in the dive bar I go to... I guess it's not masculine to be nice to people."
– pgh613
Men, watch what you put in your mouth.
Grown Men Don't Eat This
"Had a friend give another friend sh*t because he wanted to eat a corn dog. He said grown-a** men don’t eat corn dogs. Any man should understand."
"2 days later he was mad ranting and raving at me because I gave everyone else hot dogs and he didn’t get one. I just figured he was on his grown man sh*t."
– mondayortampa
No Fancy Cocktails For You
"Went to a Mexican restaurant and we waited at the bar before we could get a table. This place has awesome strawberry blended margaritas so I got one. Apparently lime = straight, strawberry = gay."
– Thirty_Helens_Agree
So Fruity
"My husband bought some of our homegrown raspberries into work to share and a guy he works with said they were 'girl food'. It must be so exhausting to have to gender your food."
– Pepperfig_clover
Not A 'Hard' Food
"Said online that I like soup, it's one of my favourite things in life. Then some guy replied, assuming I must have been brought up on soup, which in turn meant I didn't eat much 'hard' foods growing up and probably given me an unmasculine jaw."
– D-Rez
"Childish" Lunch
"My dad got sh*t from a guy he was working with because he was eating a plain bagel with butter on it and drinking chocolate milk because the guy said it’s childish. Dad never cared and just laughed at the guy for being an idiot. Who wouldn’t like that combo? It’s a great thing to eat!"
– WhatsUpFishes
For The Feminine Diet
"My husband bought some of our homegrown raspberries into work to share and a guy he works with said they were 'girl food.' It must be so exhausting to have to gender your food."
– Pepperfig_clover
It's all so silly, really.
I was once asked to check for any gum on my shoe during recess at my middle school.
When I looked behind me and lifted my foot up to check, these two dudes were laughing hysterically, saying I was gay for not inspecting my shoe by lifting my foot out in front of me.
Well, I guess their gaydar was actively engaged at an early age. Whateves
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