When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
Redditor Suspicious_Boss3635 wanted to hear about the worst of times when visiting other people's homes, so they asked:
"What was your worst/weirdest experience at somebody else’s house?"
In my home, I try to be the best host I can be.
Learn from me.
A nice shade of crimson
Say So Red Light GIF by Doja CatGiphy"Stayed at my friend's house one time and found out her family only uses red light bulb in their house because an astrologer told them to do so."
SuvenPan
From the other room...
"Went to a friend's house. We came in and somebody started yelling and swearing at him from another room. For no reason and impromptu. Scary , threatening and abusive sounding. It was his dad and the dad didn't realize I was there. The kid was cool about it, just kind of, maybe we should just go for a walk. It was how cool the kid was that unnerved me. Just his day to day."
jonas00345
How about a sweater?
"In college, I went to this girl's house during a free period with six or seven friends. We arrive, and she opens the door, says hello to her father, and immediately strips down to her bra and panties in the living room. We spent 45 minutes hanging out with her and her dad, and the whole time she's walking around in basically nothing."
"I asked her dad about it at a different time, and he nonchalantly says she's always done this and acted like it was a completely normal thing to do. Also, bonus points for her goth friend who sat there playing with a knife the whole time."
COLONEL_ROOSTER
Sit with me...
"As a 12 yr old we shifted to a small town from our cattle property so we kids could go to high school, I didn’t know anyone at school till the weird kid befriended me, invited me home after school one day. There’s me thinking great I’m making friends. When we got there her mom was obviously slightly drunk, no father around that I could see, just sitting in her room talking crap, when her mum calls us into her bedroom."
"So we went in and her mum is lying on a single bed and there’s a double in there that we both sort of lounged on, then her mum starts crying. The girl tells me her dad died about six months ago. I'm going 'so sorry to hear that,' her mum starts telling me how he was a bad alcoholic and they’d gone to bed one night, he was ‘spooning’ her when he died in his sleep with his arms wrapped around the mum, cause she was drunk too she didn’t wake up till quite late and his body had started rigor mortis."
"She realizes and starts screaming, daughter runs in, dad is dead and mum is stuck in his arms. They had to call police to help apparently, she couldn’t get out. Best bit though was I was sitting on the bed where he’d died 6 mths previous but they’d never changed the sheets or covers, they smelt musty, no wonder the girl acted weird, they both really needed therapy but this was nearly 50 yrs ago."
chookiekaki
HER!!
Jimmy Fallon Singing GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"At someone’s birthday party at her house. She divided us into groups and made us write songs about her."
Main-Not-For-Porn
Ok. I may actually try this at my next party.
"They"
Video Games Lol GIF by Robbie CobbGiphy"When I was a kid I went over to a friend's house. At some point they went to have dinner. 'They' meaning the whole family. I wasn't at any point asked to join them. So while they ate I sat in the living room and played on their Atari."
frank-sarno
We stopped to help
"A buddy and I were walking down the street and noticed a drunk guy bothering a woman outside a store and his b*lls were hanging out of his shorts. We stopped to help. And so does some guy in an army jacket. and after the cops come by to deal with the drunk guy, Army guy invites us over to have a beer. We were about 14 or so at the time. We said sure!"
"Get to his apartment and he gives us a beer each. And shows us his big knife. Tells us how to gouge out eyes. And how to shoot someone under the chin at the throat pointing up so if by chance they survive, they will be paralyzed. Then proceeds to demomstrate on me a choke move he was taught."
"Which freakin' hurt. My friend had the knife in hand just in case army guy didn't let go. After I was let go and able to breath we peaced out of there FAST. The longer we sat there. The more scared I was getting. Haven't thought about that for some time."
KraftDinr
Eat carrots instead...
"I remember when I was a kid, probably around 10 or so we went to friends of our family's for dinner. The husband and wife got into a very loud screaming match over whether to serve creamed corn or frozen corn. I'm talking in each other's faces and being shrilly loud."
"Ten year old me was fascinated by how such a mundane object could arise such passions, and of course I wanted see how it turned out but we were instead quickly ordered into the car and left. Still never understand how corn caused such a disagreement. I found out later they got divorced."
llcucf80
Pour it back...
"When I was 8 I slept over a friends house. For dinner they had pancakes. Everyone ate together. After I put the syrup on my pancakes I was scolded by the dad for using too much syrup. I then noticed everyone at the table only put a tablespoon on their pancakes. After I ate the pancakes, they took my plate and tried to pour the unused syrup back into the container."
jaiframsey
Sometimes it's just better to stay home.
Do you have any crazy experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
