Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even[rebelmouse-image 18357510 is_animated_gif=
"While seeking revenge, dig two graves---one for yourself." ~ Douglas Horton
The urge to seek revenge is hard to resist, but sometimes the payback exceeds the original offense and leaves the seeker of revenge filled with remorse. Or at least a little bit of regret.
Reddit user OvertOperation asked "What revenge of yours hit the victim way worse than you thought it would, to the point you said 'maybe I shouldn't have done that'?"
Here are some stories of revenge gone wrong.
Minty Fresh[rebelmouse-image 18359418 is_animated_gif=
Way back in elementary school a friend threw a piece of chalk that hit me square in the forehead. It was the most humiliating moment for younger me as everyone who saw that started laughing their arses off.
I plotted and planned my revenge, to get back in the exact same fashion over the next couple of days. One fine day weapon in hand, I find him perfectly placed a chalk-throw away from me.
I yell out his name and quickly launch the projectile as he spins around. For some reason he had his mouth open as he looked at me and the piece of chalk flew directly into his throat. His eyes widen and he starts choking. I stood frozen in shock as he fell on his knees coughing. Luckily somebody grabbed him from behind and thumped his back, so he swallowed the piece. An adult walks in, cannot remember who it was at the time, but she looks at me and asks what happened. At this point I'm shaking realizing that I narrowly killed my friend. I say it was a mint. My friend, also shaken at this point, laughs it off saying it went straight into his throat and he didn't taste it. The adult shakes her head and says next time just hand it like a normal person and walks away.
Years later when we were moving away to another country I remind him about the incident and come clean about the whole thing. He snaps and yells "I knew it!"
Sleeper Hold[rebelmouse-image 18359419 is_animated_gif=
This kid in my class at school kept insulting my mother, so I said to him that if he insults her one more time that I'll get him after class. "Your mum's a sl#$!" he replied. So after class I waited for him outside and when he came out the classroom I got him in a head lock.
He forced his way up out of it, but he managed to crack the top of his head off a fire alarm, gashed his head open... he was bleeding all down his face and had to go to hospital. He was off school for two weeks after that too. I felt terrible about it.
Throw Her Into the Pit[rebelmouse-image 18359420 is_animated_gif=
When I was about 7 or 8 there was this girl at my school that was absolutely horrible, we'll call her Cindy. Cindy would run up to you and pull your hair out, steal the toy you were playing with, eat your snack at snack time, etc. In other words, she was a real witch.
One day as we were finishing up recess in the playground, she came up to me, pulled my hair, and took some with it. That was the last straw. As the teacher was gathering everyone inside and wasn't looking our way, I grabbed Cindy by her pigtail and dragged her over to the playground. Now this playground was built weird with a sort of enclosed area in the middle of 3 bridges that formed a triangle that you couldn't get out of. Sometimes us bigger kids would jump in there during hide and seek and climb out later. But Cindy couldn't because she was shorter. So I picked her up and threw her down in there and left to go back inside. It wasn't until about an hour later when the teacher realized that Cindy wasn't in class. I didn't say where she was and it took them another half hour to find her. I got in trouble and had to spend the next week in the principals office.
And I lost my Gameboy for a month. I did regret it immediately since I was on my first play through of Pokemon Red when I had my Gameboy taken away from me. I was devastated and it was one of the longest months of my childhood. But Cindy never messed with me again.
Unnecessary Roughness[rebelmouse-image 18359421 is_animated_gif=
Two days ago, actually, in my soccer game this one clumsy defender kept catching my ankles seconds after I would pass the ball away. So one play he was clearing the ball and I just wanted to lay the kid out. As he was on his plant foot swinging I hit him with my shoulder hard and as he was falling he grabbed me and took me down with him. I landed on his arm and it snapped like a twig between the wrist and the elbow. I feel awful.
Collateral Damage[rebelmouse-image 18359422 is_animated_gif=
When I was bullied by some local kids I filled the gas tank of their family car with grass, dirt, sticks and stones, bottle caps, pretty much anything I could jam into the tank.
I felt sorry for that poor car.
Branded[rebelmouse-image 18359424 is_animated_gif=
I was 11, my older brother was 16. We would fight and argue but one time I was running up the stairs away from him and he whipped the back of my legs with a long rubber chew toy. It left a pretty big, figure-8-shaped welt on my legs. I knew he was faster and stronger than me and I knew if I tried to attack him he'd stop me. So, I grabbed a flathead screwdriver and held it over the stove until it was red hot. I ran up to him and very openly went to stab him, knowing he'd stop me. He grabbed my wrist to stop my thrust (as anticipated) and I accidentaly pushed the red hot head of it into his forearm as hard as I could.
Big Bro[rebelmouse-image 18359425 is_animated_gif=
Had a neighbor yell at my younger brother about his weight and I took it extra personal. Didn't know how to get him back without getting caught. Then I figured out I could place nails just under the back of the tire so when he pulled out of the driveway he'd run over them.
Turns out he was super poor and couldn't afford the repairs. My dad had to carpool with him to work for a month or so.
I've never told anyone.
Yo Mama[rebelmouse-image 18359426 is_animated_gif=
I think I was 15 and was in class and sat next to a friend of mine. He, for no reason, began to say: "HAHA your bald father" which I followed up with "HAHA your bald mother". He started crying and ran to the teacher. I honestly forgot his mom had cancer and was getting chemo.
Swimming Hole[rebelmouse-image 18359427 is_animated_gif=
When I was a kid I was at a local river (a great swimming spot lots of people came to). My friend pushes me in the river and naturally I came up spluttering and a little red in the face, but it was all in good fun. For the rest of the day I planned to get her back, waiting for my opportunity to push her in, until she was at the edge of the river drying off. I pushed her, but her flailing and the slippery nature of the rocks she was on made her slip on the spot, and instead of just splashing into the water, she landed on her back hitting the rocks hard, and then fell into the water.
She was winded, but thankfully otherwise unharmed. Our parents were furious at me, and I just spent the few seconds it took to get her out (felt like a lot longer to me) just hoping I hadn't broken her back or something.
Mr. Pink[rebelmouse-image 18359428 is_animated_gif=
A room mate poured water on me while I was asleep. So I filled all his shoes and the pockets of all his trousers with Chili Powder. I didn't realize the powder had dye in and it stained everything, including any shirts he had tucked into work trousers and a lot of items he washed with them.
Trip Up[rebelmouse-image 18359429 is_animated_gif=
A lot of the boys in my sixth grade class thought it was hilarious to try and trip people. They'd get you no matter how careful you were. Well I was pretty good at avoiding it, but when I was in gym class this kid named Joey got me hard. I was dribbling down court and he nailed me. I face planted hard. So I thought about how to get him, and I got him at lunch. He was holding a lunch tray, so his hands weren't as useful. He nailed a table and lost a tooth. I got suspended for 10 days, and a strict no tripping policy got implemented, immediate suspensions if caught.
Slip Up[rebelmouse-image 18359430 is_animated_gif=
When we were kids, my sister threw water at me and ran away so I picked up my glass of water and ran after her. I threw the water from the glass at her once I had her cornered. Unfortunately the glass had slipped out of my hand and it hit her right across her face.
Deep Doo[rebelmouse-image 18359432 is_animated_gif=
Back in middle school a friend of mine threw a small wadded piece of paper at me. I retaliated by throwing the only thing I could find, which was mud close to my shoes. Smacked him right in the face with it.
It turned out to be dog poo. I still vividly remember his angry "wtf man I throw paper at you and you throw dog poo?"
Overwrite[rebelmouse-image 18359433 is_animated_gif=
My older brother was always quite horrible to me as a child and my parents never really did much about it, he was also much bigger than me so I couldn't retaliate in a physical way cause I would be swiftly cripple cross faced/walls of Jericho'd. One day I had just had enough, My revenge? He had been playing Rome Total War for a good 6 hours a day for about 3 weeks. I started a new game and overwrote his save file.
Never seen fury like it.
I regretted it at the time cause he was so angry it scared me and it made him dislike me even more. But now I praise my 13 year old self for hitting him where it clearly hurt most.
Kids Can Be Cruel[rebelmouse-image 18359434 is_animated_gif=
When I was little my friends kept pointing at the little girl on the box of the board game Operation and saying it looks like me. So I pointed at the big fat guy and said 'that's your mom' and didn't realize she was behind me
Casualties of War[rebelmouse-image 18359435 is_animated_gif=
Coworker and I had a friendly prank war spanning two years. Close to the end of our war he "iced" my car.
Icing involves taking the hose to the parking lot every half hour and spraying a light mist over your victims car when it's below zero out. I finished my 12 hour shift to find a car encased in 2 inches of ice.
My revenge was, I thought, both more inconvenient for him and less freezing my backside off for me. I decided to take a bed sheet, drape it over his car, and only took 4 or 5 trips out with the hose the next night.
So the next morning he finds his car with a quarter inch of ice freezing a sheet to his car. When he started peeling off the sheet he pulled his windshield wipers, arms and all off of his ratty jeep.
I got a very pissed off phone call. I felt bad, the unwritten rule was "embarrassing or inconvenient, no damage". I paid for repairs, and he got his revenge. He planted a dozen pieces of smoked herring throughout my car. Took me 6 months to find the last piece. Hidden under the carpet under the back window of my car. I can still smell it, I don't even own the car anymore....
Dog Days[rebelmouse-image 18359436 is_animated_gif=
I grew up in a semi-rural area, and the neighbors used to let their dog roam free. The dog constantly pooped on our lawn (even the back lawn). My parents would kindly ask the neighbors to please keep the dog locked up, but then grumble about it to each other at home. My sister and I (8 and 11 at the time) though we would be super helpful, and get a little revenge too, so we got a shovel and flung all of it we could find at their house. And that was a lot!
Yeah, it really was a little too far, and the neighbors did not take it well. And seeing as we lived in a fairly small community, everyone found out about it too.
Steel Belted[rebelmouse-image 18359437 is_animated_gif=
Had a roommate who basically let his new girlfriend move in to our house in college. She helped herself to everything in the house but never contributed. Finally she parked in my parking spot and that was my breaking point. I let all the air out of all of her tires, thinking she'd just air them back up and it would be an inconvenience. Instead she ended up buying all new tires. Whoops. Never came clean about it.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....