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Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even

Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even

Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even

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"While seeking revenge, dig two graves---one for yourself." ~ Douglas Horton

The urge to seek revenge is hard to resist, but sometimes the payback exceeds the original offense and leaves the seeker of revenge filled with remorse. Or at least a little bit of regret.

Reddit user OvertOperation asked "What revenge of yours hit the victim way worse than you thought it would, to the point you said 'maybe I shouldn't have done that'?"

Here are some stories of revenge gone wrong.

Minty Fresh

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Way back in elementary school a friend threw a piece of chalk that hit me square in the forehead. It was the most humiliating moment for younger me as everyone who saw that started laughing their arses off.

I plotted and planned my revenge, to get back in the exact same fashion over the next couple of days. One fine day weapon in hand, I find him perfectly placed a chalk-throw away from me.

I yell out his name and quickly launch the projectile as he spins around. For some reason he had his mouth open as he looked at me and the piece of chalk flew directly into his throat. His eyes widen and he starts choking. I stood frozen in shock as he fell on his knees coughing. Luckily somebody grabbed him from behind and thumped his back, so he swallowed the piece. An adult walks in, cannot remember who it was at the time, but she looks at me and asks what happened. At this point I'm shaking realizing that I narrowly killed my friend. I say it was a mint. My friend, also shaken at this point, laughs it off saying it went straight into his throat and he didn't taste it. The adult shakes her head and says next time just hand it like a normal person and walks away.

Years later when we were moving away to another country I remind him about the incident and come clean about the whole thing. He snaps and yells "I knew it!"

Sleeper Hold

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This kid in my class at school kept insulting my mother, so I said to him that if he insults her one more time that I'll get him after class. "Your mum's a sl#$!" he replied. So after class I waited for him outside and when he came out the classroom I got him in a head lock.

He forced his way up out of it, but he managed to crack the top of his head off a fire alarm, gashed his head open... he was bleeding all down his face and had to go to hospital. He was off school for two weeks after that too. I felt terrible about it.

Throw Her Into the Pit

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When I was about 7 or 8 there was this girl at my school that was absolutely horrible, we'll call her Cindy. Cindy would run up to you and pull your hair out, steal the toy you were playing with, eat your snack at snack time, etc. In other words, she was a real witch.

One day as we were finishing up recess in the playground, she came up to me, pulled my hair, and took some with it. That was the last straw. As the teacher was gathering everyone inside and wasn't looking our way, I grabbed Cindy by her pigtail and dragged her over to the playground. Now this playground was built weird with a sort of enclosed area in the middle of 3 bridges that formed a triangle that you couldn't get out of. Sometimes us bigger kids would jump in there during hide and seek and climb out later. But Cindy couldn't because she was shorter. So I picked her up and threw her down in there and left to go back inside. It wasn't until about an hour later when the teacher realized that Cindy wasn't in class. I didn't say where she was and it took them another half hour to find her. I got in trouble and had to spend the next week in the principals office.

And I lost my Gameboy for a month. I did regret it immediately since I was on my first play through of Pokemon Red when I had my Gameboy taken away from me. I was devastated and it was one of the longest months of my childhood. But Cindy never messed with me again.

Unnecessary Roughness

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Two days ago, actually, in my soccer game this one clumsy defender kept catching my ankles seconds after I would pass the ball away. So one play he was clearing the ball and I just wanted to lay the kid out. As he was on his plant foot swinging I hit him with my shoulder hard and as he was falling he grabbed me and took me down with him. I landed on his arm and it snapped like a twig between the wrist and the elbow. I feel awful.

Collateral Damage

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When I was bullied by some local kids I filled the gas tank of their family car with grass, dirt, sticks and stones, bottle caps, pretty much anything I could jam into the tank.

I felt sorry for that poor car.

Branded

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I was 11, my older brother was 16. We would fight and argue but one time I was running up the stairs away from him and he whipped the back of my legs with a long rubber chew toy. It left a pretty big, figure-8-shaped welt on my legs. I knew he was faster and stronger than me and I knew if I tried to attack him he'd stop me. So, I grabbed a flathead screwdriver and held it over the stove until it was red hot. I ran up to him and very openly went to stab him, knowing he'd stop me. He grabbed my wrist to stop my thrust (as anticipated) and I accidentaly pushed the red hot head of it into his forearm as hard as I could.

Big Bro

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Had a neighbor yell at my younger brother about his weight and I took it extra personal. Didn't know how to get him back without getting caught. Then I figured out I could place nails just under the back of the tire so when he pulled out of the driveway he'd run over them.

Turns out he was super poor and couldn't afford the repairs. My dad had to carpool with him to work for a month or so.

I've never told anyone.

Yo Mama

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I think I was 15 and was in class and sat next to a friend of mine. He, for no reason, began to say: "HAHA your bald father" which I followed up with "HAHA your bald mother". He started crying and ran to the teacher. I honestly forgot his mom had cancer and was getting chemo.

Swimming Hole

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When I was a kid I was at a local river (a great swimming spot lots of people came to). My friend pushes me in the river and naturally I came up spluttering and a little red in the face, but it was all in good fun. For the rest of the day I planned to get her back, waiting for my opportunity to push her in, until she was at the edge of the river drying off. I pushed her, but her flailing and the slippery nature of the rocks she was on made her slip on the spot, and instead of just splashing into the water, she landed on her back hitting the rocks hard, and then fell into the water.

She was winded, but thankfully otherwise unharmed. Our parents were furious at me, and I just spent the few seconds it took to get her out (felt like a lot longer to me) just hoping I hadn't broken her back or something.

Mr. Pink

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A room mate poured water on me while I was asleep. So I filled all his shoes and the pockets of all his trousers with Chili Powder. I didn't realize the powder had dye in and it stained everything, including any shirts he had tucked into work trousers and a lot of items he washed with them.

Trip Up

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A lot of the boys in my sixth grade class thought it was hilarious to try and trip people. They'd get you no matter how careful you were. Well I was pretty good at avoiding it, but when I was in gym class this kid named Joey got me hard. I was dribbling down court and he nailed me. I face planted hard. So I thought about how to get him, and I got him at lunch. He was holding a lunch tray, so his hands weren't as useful. He nailed a table and lost a tooth. I got suspended for 10 days, and a strict no tripping policy got implemented, immediate suspensions if caught.

Slip Up

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When we were kids, my sister threw water at me and ran away so I picked up my glass of water and ran after her. I threw the water from the glass at her once I had her cornered. Unfortunately the glass had slipped out of my hand and it hit her right across her face.

Deep Doo

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Back in middle school a friend of mine threw a small wadded piece of paper at me. I retaliated by throwing the only thing I could find, which was mud close to my shoes. Smacked him right in the face with it.

It turned out to be dog poo. I still vividly remember his angry "wtf man I throw paper at you and you throw dog poo?"

Overwrite

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My older brother was always quite horrible to me as a child and my parents never really did much about it, he was also much bigger than me so I couldn't retaliate in a physical way cause I would be swiftly cripple cross faced/walls of Jericho'd. One day I had just had enough, My revenge? He had been playing Rome Total War for a good 6 hours a day for about 3 weeks. I started a new game and overwrote his save file.

Never seen fury like it.

I regretted it at the time cause he was so angry it scared me and it made him dislike me even more. But now I praise my 13 year old self for hitting him where it clearly hurt most.

Kids Can Be Cruel

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When I was little my friends kept pointing at the little girl on the box of the board game Operation and saying it looks like me. So I pointed at the big fat guy and said 'that's your mom' and didn't realize she was behind me

Casualties of War

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Coworker and I had a friendly prank war spanning two years. Close to the end of our war he "iced" my car.

Icing involves taking the hose to the parking lot every half hour and spraying a light mist over your victims car when it's below zero out. I finished my 12 hour shift to find a car encased in 2 inches of ice.

My revenge was, I thought, both more inconvenient for him and less freezing my backside off for me. I decided to take a bed sheet, drape it over his car, and only took 4 or 5 trips out with the hose the next night.

So the next morning he finds his car with a quarter inch of ice freezing a sheet to his car. When he started peeling off the sheet he pulled his windshield wipers, arms and all off of his ratty jeep.

I got a very pissed off phone call. I felt bad, the unwritten rule was "embarrassing or inconvenient, no damage". I paid for repairs, and he got his revenge. He planted a dozen pieces of smoked herring throughout my car. Took me 6 months to find the last piece. Hidden under the carpet under the back window of my car. I can still smell it, I don't even own the car anymore....

Dog Days

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I grew up in a semi-rural area, and the neighbors used to let their dog roam free. The dog constantly pooped on our lawn (even the back lawn). My parents would kindly ask the neighbors to please keep the dog locked up, but then grumble about it to each other at home. My sister and I (8 and 11 at the time) though we would be super helpful, and get a little revenge too, so we got a shovel and flung all of it we could find at their house. And that was a lot!

Yeah, it really was a little too far, and the neighbors did not take it well. And seeing as we lived in a fairly small community, everyone found out about it too.

Steel Belted

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Had a roommate who basically let his new girlfriend move in to our house in college. She helped herself to everything in the house but never contributed. Finally she parked in my parking spot and that was my breaking point. I let all the air out of all of her tires, thinking she'd just air them back up and it would be an inconvenience. Instead she ended up buying all new tires. Whoops. Never came clean about it.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.