Saying goodbye to 2020 was big for a lot of people. Like big big. Bigly big.
So when one Reddit user opted to ring in 2021 by talking about things people no longer care about, people took the opportunity to get some things off their chests.
spawned some gloriously heartfelt rants. Seriously. Get it together recipe people... or LEAD with the recipe and then tell us your story.
We Just Want The Recipe
The forty-seven paragraphs of bullsh*t before the recipe.
I read somewhere that those paragraphs and paragraphs are for the purpose of keywords/SEO. You have your nana's legendary pasta sauce recipe, but it's in a sea of other crushed tomatoes and garlic pasta sauce recipes.
You have to add in that nana was from Sicily, ran through a meadow of basil, oregano and always went with papá on trips with their pigs to hunt for truffles. You remember your mom and nana preparing fresh pasta growing up and even sneaking the vintage Chianti all the while Sinatra played on the record player in the living room.
Anyway, for my Tostino Pizza Rolls you need:
- A paper towel
- A microwave safe plate
- Pizza Rolls
- A microwave
- Toaster Oven**
**Optional for crispy exterior
God, isn't this real.. It's always on my phone in a hurry and I had to go back to the recipe only to have it refresh to the top. I then re-begin my hunt between the ads, the giant story and the 1 million comments of "that's awesome! we love you! i tweaked it this way. do you like me?"
Just... Give... Me... The f*cking recipe. Was it 1 tbsp of butter or 2?
This is such an underrated comment.
Look Sarah, I don't give two sh*ts about how your mother set the table "just so" every night for family dinners when you were little, and that you now recreate that for your two sons who don't eat gluten and are homeschooled.
Can I please just have the damn recipe for your roasted parmesan potatoes so I can move on with my day? Thank you!
A book being a New York Times best seller.
Not that hard when they have a bazillion categories.
I know a "bestselling" author. He is really just a rich kid that grew up with some legit physical handicaps. But his rich parents hired a ghost-writer and she put together some come-from-behind inspirational life story.
Well the rich parents have a charitable foundation that bought enough copies to put the book in the bestseller list in some small category. And now you have a bestselling author who does motivational speaking.
98% of drama that happens between people who have no part in my life
I just nod politely for hours and when she comments that she wants to write a book about her family I don't say, "dude, no one wants to read that."
I just bite my tongue, nod, and plan to avoid our next get together. They're a family friend so I don't want to burn bridges, I jut don't initiate the hang outs anymore.
Aging Has Its Benefits
What people think of me when I make a decision that only affects me.
I used to care a lot. As I got older I became so much more apathetic to it.
Sometimes people begin to notice the apathy and then they just stop displaying their dissatisfaction towards you since it's clear you don't care anyway, which is sweet.
Mostly seemed to kick in sometime in my early 30s. From talking to friends they for the most part stopped caring around the same time.
I once saw a post that proposed that basically everything from birth to about age 30 goes in the "finding out who are" bucket and literally everything after that point is "doing that on purpose" which seems to hold up, lol.
I like combining it with my grandma Chickie's advice: growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
And that's why my car is decorated with stickers and plushies, a rainbow wheel cover I crocheted myself, and a clusterf*ck of "good luck charms" from friends and family hanging from the mirror.
Does it make my car look like it belongs to a 16yo girl instead of a 34yo man? Probably.
Do I give even a single measly f*ck about that? Absolutely not!
It's my car, I can make it look like Lisa Frank puked all over it after being dared to chug 47 rainbow margaritas if I want to 😂
They're My Team
My superiors' opinions about how I lead my subordinates.
I've been in the Army for 8 years, and I've found that leading with fairness, friendliness, and for lack of a better term, love, inspires more cooperation and success than enforcing loyalty through rank and command.
My superiors call this "being their friends" and putting myself in a position to be manipulated.
But frankly, I've never experienced that, and I don't give a f*ck if they don't like it.
My dude, your brand of leadership was the only leadership I respected when I was in the Navy. People in leadership positions in the civilian world don't really understand it, either, but morale is more important than that horrible strict discipline you try to force on people.
I'll work harder for a boss I can tell to f*ck off than one who barks orders any day of the week.
My supervisor is like this (Air force) and I'd follow him to hell and back.
Sure I get pissed off about something I think is stupid but in the end, I can differentiate between him being my boss and friend. Hell, we do golf outings with our small shop and bbqs.
I've never been happier with the people I work with and I hope to be as good as he is when I get more peeps under me.
But What If You Don't Want To Go To The Pub?
I'm from Ireland and nearly everyone's social life or sporting events revolves around alcohol consumption and I'm just like no thanks.
I'm from Scotland, and it's daaamn hard to find something to do to socialize that isn't seriously compromised without alcohol.
Dinner is one (but what do you do after?) and I'm enjoying meeting people for lockdown runs. But on a rainy December Saturday, what the hell do you do if you don't wanna go to the pub?
I do drink myself, but I think the lack of cafe culture and (understandable) lack of outdoor activities drives a lot of the social and health problems we have here.
Sports. I've never understood why people get so emotional about their teams. The relationship some people have with it, and their passion for something that has basically no real-world impact, has always been weird to me.
Humanity's favorite thing to do is to separate ourselves into little groups and fight each other. People are by nature xenophobic, and sports is a perfect alternative to civil war or a religious crusade.
Jerry Seinfeld had a comedy routine where he observed that rooting for sports teams was just "rooting for laundry", as the players change on a regular basis. And to an extent he is correct, but the organization remains, and we are a part of the one we choose to love, and we are a family and an in-group with like minded fans, and f*ck those guys over there.
Sports is the last place where tribal warfare is not only accepted, but encouraged.
That explains why people DON'T like sports. I think it's a rejection of tribalism in favor of actual achievement.
Tell me about something YOU did that you are proud of? I get that - it's something about YOU.
I also understand if you're bragging about (or proud of) something a team or group you are actually a part of accomplished - you participated.
But going on and on about your city's team simply because it's attached to your tribe? It doesn't click for me.
The point about tribalism makes sense, but it's depressing. Do we not have enough things to be tribal about?
Plus I'm not a fan of how rich white guys essentially buy and sell 18-year-old kids from marginalized backgrounds (economic or otherwise) and then gladiator them until their brains are spaghetti.
Minor scratches on your car's paint. I've known several people who will absolutely lose it over a scratch the size an eyelash.
It always makes me always wonder what it must be like caring so much about something so tiny. What other bull must they lose their minds over?
I agree with you here. I'm a hardcore car guy and don't actually care if mine get dinged or scratched. It's a 4 thousand pound object that was created to get driven, do people really expect no wear and tear?
Still a good car.
And our older car was in this really bad hailstorm once where the hailstones were as big as golf balls and baseballs. It has some dings in it from that. Kinda like a souvenir.
I'm ready to retire so I am trying to get let go because IDGAF about this job anymore.
I've been doing my job as poorly as I can force myself to. My employer is huge and cutting staff. I've got a reasonable chance at getting a "Go Away" package worth several months pay.
Barring that, they almost certainly won't fire me for cause so I can still collect unemployment. So far they are keeping me around. I'm literally failing at failing.
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It's truly inspiring to watch people not care even a little bit and take up all the space they deserve.
And when you see those people, they make an impression.
Here were some of those answers.
The Scribe Saves The Day
In a meeting with the very arrogant boss of our department and the company executives, there was a question about a major mistake that costs the company a product recall.
Our boss laid the blame on our department, before he was over us, saying we had modified a piece of equipment incorrectly.
One of my co-workers, a very humble man, quietly said to nobody in particular "I have pictures in my notes". Meaning, "I am throwing the boss under the bus in front of every one of his superiors in the company." He hadn't planned this, he just happened to be incredibly meticulous in taking notes and pictures and documented absolutely everything. He proceeded to do so with complete disregard for retribution from our very vengeful boss. It was quite glorious to see someone so haughty and pious get brought down so beautifully by a low-level engineer and his meticulous note/picture taking.
Just A Car, NBD
I once was walking down the street with one of my bosses. Total stoner. Him not me. We go to cross the street at a stop sign and get part way across and the car lurches forward and hits my boss hard enough that he falls onto the hood. He was mid sentence when the car hit him and he literally didn't even skip a beat. He just continued his sentence like nothing at all happened while keeping eye contact with me the entire time! Not only that but when the driver yelled asking if he was ok he didn't even look over...just gave a little hand wave to the driver while still keeping eye contact with me and chatting away.
Karen Taken Down
Had a customer service manager talking to a woman about a return. He'd already told her he couldn't do it a few times. She demanded he get his manager. He, no joke, spins a circle and says, "They said no."
Fight For Your Right To Party
One guy I knew was a pretty good varsity tennis player. Coach gave the no drinking/smoking speech. Something to the effect of you need to choose between partying and tennis. Dude just silently got up and left the team meeting.
We Needed That Tank GONE
I used to be a manager at Petco and we had this fish tank that was very old, it was original to the store and it was being held together by Band-Aids and good intentions. We kept requesting it be replaced, we were putting more money into it than it was worth at this point. but corporate kept saying no, the new tanks cost well over $1,000 and they would rather chuck out a few hundred every month or so, because that made sense.
Well we hired this young punk kid to be aquatic specialist. He was bright but did not have a good background, he was a criminal. He stole guns and was a druggie. I don't know how he got hired on, he was a touch above worthless on a good day. On his first day I jokingly said if he can come up with a way to break this tank I would much appreciate it. Within 2 weeks he broke the tank and showed me how he broke it so it would look like an accident, silicone had been cut in a way that it would leak badly without it being able to be fixed. He didn't even hesitate, didn't even seem remorseful or anything.
Within a month we had a new tank 🤷
Cold As IIIIIICE
I teach pre-kindergarten at a public school. My students are 4 and 5 years old. Last year, I had a rule that no more than 3 kids could be at a learning center at any given time. When we transitioned from carpet time to center time, I would call on the kids who were sitting quietly to pick their centers first. I had two kids sitting next to each other: James, who was sitting quietly waiting to be called on, and Allison, who kept loudly and rather obnoxiously announcing that she wanted to go to the sensory table, which I had just stocked with new toys. Two kids had already chosen to go there, so there was only one spot left.
I called on James first. He walked up to the center chart and I asked him where he wanted to go. He looked at the center chart, then at Allison, then at the center chart, then back at Allison, and while staring straight at her, jammed his finger at the sensory table.
While he was walking away, I said, "wow, James, that's cold man." But I don't think he heard me over Allison's screaming.
Zoom Zoom Zoom
One time there was a horrific wreck on the interstate that had me stuck there in traffic for about 5 hours. About an hour into it, a guy in front of me said "eff this", popped the trunk, pulled out a motorized razor scooter and rode away.
He hadn't come back by the time everyone else started moving.
You Asked Me To
My mum and I didn't get along growing up, partly due to her alcohol dependency. We solely relied on welfare and then I became the main income provider at 15 through part-time jobs, before moving out on my own at 16.
It was the same argument every day, I would bank transfer the rental and utility payments but refused to hand over cash because she'd spend it on liquor. She began throwing objects and flipping out, and eventually said "Fine, if you don't care about money, why don't you just cut up my credit cards?" in a baiting sort of way. She handed me scissors and two credit cards.
I just stared at them blankly and being a teenager, then cut up her credit cards.
She absolutely lost it. My brother lazily looked over at the scissors she handed me and said "What exactly did you expect?"
Maybe Not Being A Jerk Is The Way To Go
I worked for a company that had went public after operating as a private company for 18 years. 4 months after going public our company was caught fabricating the financial statements for our quarterly reports (from acquiring 72 companies in one year). This put an extremely large strain on our accounting department... they were required to work overtime (almost 70 hrs a week) to try and "fix" the corruption that had taken place.
Well, the accountants started complaining that they were spending less time with their families and were not being treated well. So, the CEO held an emergency meeting. In that meeting he told the accounting department that all departments are working hard and if anyone is unhappy, they can leave. The entire accounting department of 14 employees got up and left. It was super awkward. About 2 months later the CEO stepped down and 2 years later the company was sold to a competitor for next to nothing after jumping from executives to executives.
This Is Normal I Guess
I was on an internship that was a train wreck. I started later than some of the other interns. Turns out our main office space would flood when it rained. I came in to find the lobby and office with an inch of standing water.
One of the other interns walked in, looked at all the water, sighed, sloshed over to his computer, picked up his power strip, flicked the water off, sat down, turned his computer on, and started working. Dude barely seemed to notice.
Makin' Bakin' Pancakes
I just told this story but one of my high school teachers was 24/7 not give a single f*ck. A student brought in an electric griddle and started cooking sausages and pancakes in the middle of class, and when the teacher asked him wtf he was doing, he said he was cooking sausages and pancakes, and the teacher basically went, "oh, okay".
Was It Cool, Bruh?
When I came out as gay, I decided to come out to each of my siblings individually. By the time I got to my younger brother he just said "cool" and went back to what he was doing. Like most of my family he's very religious, so he does believe that homosexuality is a sin, but in that moment, he didn't feel like he had to remind me that like some of my family did.
Just Went DOWN
In high school football my teammate absolutely DESTROYED a kid on a punt return, both were full sprint straight into each other and my teammate was a state gold medal winner in 4 sprints, he ran over this kid and just got up... Stepped over the kid who hadn't moved yet... And walked back to the huddle like nothing happened one of the biggest hits I've ever seen. We found out the kid was hospitalized with a head injury for a week, I felt really bad for him.
Melissa's Priorities Were Solid
In 7th grade track tryouts the coach said "this isn't a club to lose weight or get skinny." and this girl Melissa sighed and walked out.
Had a teacher in high school lose his patience with our class. He stopped teaching and made it clear he couldn't be bothered any longer, if we didn't want to learn he didn't want to teach and he had better things to do. He made it clear he wasn't fussed as he already had his degree😉 with that he walked out got in his car and went to see a movie leaving everyone sitting there for 3 hours. Hell of a way to put a point across!
We ALL Got One!
A guy in my class in secondary school was sitting eating chewits and clearly not paying any attention during a maths lesson. The teacher finally called him out in the way he always calls out people eating, "If you're going to eat, you have to give something to everyone". The guy turned around and pulled five packets of chewits out of his bag, then wasted the next ten minutes of the class opening each pack and handing one sweet to each person in the room, finishing with the teacher.
Nom Nom Nom
At my previous company, we had a meeting to discuss the loss of funding from an investor. The CEO was laying into us and saying our fault even though he was the one to cause this. During his angry paragraph about no loyalty, our co-worker pulls out a massive bag of Doritos. She doesn't even try to be quiet. She rips it open and begins eating loudly. The CEO starts screaming at her so she then offers him some and everyone else. We all take some. The CEO says he'll report us to the owner. We then leave him alone and go back to work. The owner sent private emails to all of us to thank us for handling the situation properly. CEO was fired a couple of days later due to losing us an investor by being rude and racist.
It's refreshing to see people unaffected.
When something bad happens, you expect people to have an emotional response in some way or another. But when they decidedly don't, it's kind of amazing to see someone let it roll off their back.
Here were some of the answers.
Even Less Than One
My cashier in Amsterdam was literally just taking my groceries and sliding them across but not scanning them and then putting them into my bag. She scanned the last thing for like, 2 euro and goes "that'll be 2 euro". She did not give even half of one f**k.
Bye Bye Bye
Someone's girlfriend was cussing them out in the middle of a mall, this dude called up his mate and asked to get a ride home and left her speechless. Don't know how that relationship ended up.
He's On His Way Out
One of my high school teachers was just before retirement. I remember on the day of the final exam he handed out the test papers, then sat down at his desk and read the newspaper. With it opened up all the way in front of him. He couldn't see us and vice versa.
The smart girl in front finished first and just passed her paper back. It went all around the class. Not the first f**k was given by him on that day.
No Money Back For You Darlin'
Back when I worked at a movie theater, one of my fellow assistant managers (Jack) had the constant attitude of not giving a f**k. He'd worked at the theater longer than anyone and was good friends with the general manager, so he got away with murder. One time this lady wanted a refund for a movie she'd finished watching. She was going crazy, screaming at us about how the movie was so inappropriate to be rated PG-13 and she couldn't stand all the swearing in the movie.
I kept calmly trying to explain to her that since the movie was already over we couldn't give her a refund, our policy clearly stated no refunds after 30 minutes into showtime. She's not hearing it, and looks to Jack now, like he will give her the answer she wants. He starts saying the same thing I did, and she interrupts him again with her yelling about how she couldn't stand all the swearing in the film. Jack rolls his eyes and just says "Well, that's just too bad." and walks off. Cue stunned look on my face and the lady's.
Keep It Movin'
I was in line at a coffee shop and the lady was complaining that they didn't have organic milk and without a word or hesitation the guy behind the counter just said "next please" not even taking her order.
No More Abuse, Thanks!
Work in geek squad, another agent was really upset that day and had a rough patch of a few clients who were really mean and extremely rude to him, after bearing through them and after about a 10 minute break he helped another client, their first words were "alright, best buy gave me a bad product that broke after 6 months and I want you to fix it right now" which he explained that there's a process and he couldn't fix it right now and the guy cut him off and said "I don't care, get it done."
Well, he sat there for a second quiet.. and took off his badge, slapped it on the table, yelled "f*** you", then started walking towards the front door with middle fingers up pointing at everyone then said "and f*** this place!". And walked out.
When I went home and on steam I saw he bought GTA 5, he then had 200 hours played in 2 weeks after that, haven't checked since.
One casual employee decided to stop using proper radio procedure, instead of using his correct call sign he replied on the radio with "Super John Smith" (not his real name) He kept doing it all night despite dispatchers, supervisors and co-workers telling him to stop. He still works there and has outlasted hundreds of employees. I'd say his work-life balance is pretty good. I still call him Super John to this day.
To Throw And Be Thrown
My ex boss had a customer throw her money on the counter when my boss CLEARLY had her hand already out waiting to be given the money. So when my boss went to give the change, she just threw it back. Coins went everywhere but the look on the lady's face was priceless.
Fired But Fire
Worked at an awful fast food job when I was 15. Girl I worked with got fired. The manager was a real witch says to her as she's escorting her out of the building that she needs to return her work shirt cleaned. Girl whipped it right off and threw it at her, walked out to her car in her black bra and drove off. Damn I wish I'd got her number.
At Costco this older gentlemen was screaming at my Boss because apparently all the handicap parking spots were occupied. My Boss ask for his informations so he could write a complaint (we had little forms for that, nothing really official mostly to shut up people).
-"Are you a member?"
-"Well that it's then." My Boss then put the little form in the garbage can and walked away. The old man was stunned.