Ivica Siranovikj

Just Walk Away

My brother's fiancé went off on my mom in front of my sister and me, all because he was 45 minutes late to the rehearsal due to his best man's car tire blowing out. "Where is your jerk of a son?!" she screamed. The dude should have never shown up for the wedding. Not only was she a bridezilla, but she was also a total utter sociopath. Soon enough, the disturbing truth came out.

She had completely fabricated her life. Her parents—who didn't show up for the wedding—called my mom to tell her the truth about it the day after the ceremony. She had a rap sheet a mile long. But my brother, who just wanted to believe that people can change, stuck it out for seven years. Don't ever, ever do that.

Gryen

Worth Every Penny

I married a bridezilla and she ruined my life. After the wedding and vacation were over, I told her we needed to pay the debt we just accumulated—she wanted a huge wedding and she got it. We had a budget for the wedding and we should have had no debt at the end, but in the last few weeks before the wedding, she suddenly had to spend a ton of money on wedding stuff I had never even heard of before.

And when I say she spent a ton of money, I actually mean that it all came out of my pocket. So yeah, I wanted to start paying it off. She said she didn't have much on her credit card and I could easily pay it off in a couple of months if I just picked up some of her bills. I agreed... but that ended up being the worst decision of my life.

Three months later, she had her credit card paid off and she told me she wanted a divorce. You’d think we could get an annulment, but no. Annulment is very uncommon where we live. We looked into it, but we didn’t meet the criteria for one. Instead, we had to go to a quickie divorce lawyer who just puts paperwork together, and then we had to do everything else.

Maybe the worst thing about all this in retrospect? She comes from an upper-middle-class family and has a trust fund.

fairfishofnewwater

Joke’s On You

I was a bridesmaid in this winter-themed wedding. We all wore blue silk dresses with white fake fur capelets and MUFFS. At one point, we were getting ready for the ceremony and the bride said to me, “Hey, let me see your muff." I batted my eyelashes and joked, "I've waited so long to hear those words from you!" That didn’t go down how I wanted at all.

The look she shot me could have felled a moose. She started going off on me about how I was not taking things seriously enough and suggested that I should go hang out with the groomsmen instead if I was going to make lewd jokes. Yeah. Maybe I should have.

kittenhiccups

Warning Signs

My cousin married a bridezilla. He comes from a very poor area but has become successful after moving out of his hometown. His wife, however, was already extremely wealthy; you even could say excessively. They married after a year of knowing each other, and boy was it a surprise to hear about their horrific wedding plans.

They spent $250K on the wedding, including catering by seven different restaurants. Their food was from different cultures and cooked in front of you, almost like a hibachi buffet style. They even had servers in tailed suits and white gloves serving Taco Bell after midnight. Basically, it was the most lavish wedding I’d ever been to, and she was OBSESSED with the details. Well… that ended up being a HUGE red flag.

Once they got married, she was spending more money than he could make. She was getting mad because he wasn’t making enough, while she wasn’t working at all. When they got divorced, she gave him a cruel ultimatum. He could either get his ring back or keep the dog. He kept the dog. Oh, and there was one more parting gift.

Her sister, a lawyer, helped her file a restraining order on him and they haven’t spoken since. Screw her, but man, did he dodge a bullet there. They finished the divorce papers exactly one year and one day after their wedding. Once a bridezilla, always a bridezilla.

Munsoon22

Age Is Just A Number

My uncle married a bridezilla. She had a huge spending problem. She still went clubbing in her 40s thinking she was 20 and ignored all her day-to-day priorities to party. She also acted like she was better than everyone else, which is probably why she had a hard time keeping friendships. The final straw was when she cheated on my uncle with a man ten years her junior. My uncle is now married to a different woman and he's the happiest he's ever been.

yuri_yk

Harsh, But Fair

My sister was labeled a bridezilla by the staff at her venue—I heard them talking about her. The thing is, she was totally justified. The chair coverings were red when they were supposed to be brown. There was no mirror in the bridal suite. The photographer was late, and the make-up artist was very late, hence the issue with the mirror. And the issues didn't stop there.

Oh, plus the buffet was totally wrong—not a single dish she chose was there, and they charged $25 a person for what was supposed to be a four-tier chocolate fountain. It ended up being a small, plastic contraption that she saw the staff unbox from Walgreens on the day of. On top of it all, the wait staff was half the number stated in the contract, and the DJ refused to honor the playlist she selected.

So, yeah, she lost it at the venue.

florida_born

A Hair Don’t

As a hairstylist, I've seen a few bridezillas. This one affected me directly. So mid-week, a woman came in and asked about up-dos for a wedding for the upcoming weekend. She told my boss that she wanted something "funky" done with her hair. My boss then booked this witch with me. Saturday morning rolled around and she got in my chair so we could get started.

I was nearly finished when she started complaining that she wanted more of a classic Audrey Hepburn style. At this point, it was too late to change anything.... plus my next client had already arrived. She completely lost it. She said I wasn't listening to her and then called her mother to talk some sense into me. She was almost in tears wondering how she was going to explain her hair to her future in-laws.

Her mom showed up and basically told her that her hair looked beautiful. Then she paid me and dragged her out of the salon. A total what the hell experience for everyone.

Carsons_mom

Servant Of Honor

My best friend, who is normally very sweet and quiet, was super rude when she got married. First, she told me when I would be having her bridal shower. She set a date without consulting me in any way and decided on all the details—it would be at my house, I would be serving so-and-so types of foods, etc. I was in the middle of my honors year of my bachelor's degree in another city that was a 15-hour drive away.

Well, she set the date to be right in the middle of my exams. She also planned on making all sorts of DIY things for her wedding to save money, like an aisle runner, centerpieces, arch, veil, etc. I came into town the night before the wedding and she said to me, "I didn't have time to get anything made, so I need you to do it." I stayed up all night sewing and arranging flowers while she slept. But it gets worse.

It was in the middle of winter, and when we arrived at the hall, the floor hadn't been cleaned and it was covered with salt stains. There was nothing to clean it with but a bucket and a cloth. So after staying up working all night, I had to clean a floor on my hands and knees. I was exhausted, sore, and I hated every minute of her wedding. I didn't talk to her for months after that.

Ihadacow

Bride’s Day, Bride’s Way

I attended the wedding of a family friend's daughter, so I didn't really know her. It was a night-time reception, with the ceremony immediately preceding. When we went into the reception, we were expecting a buffet or something to be set up, but there was nothing. Later, we found out that there was no food for the 120 guests.

Instead, there was a cheese spread, a fruit platter, and vegetables with dip. After an hour, people were really hungry and some people started to leave because they were expecting to be fed and didn't want to stay. When the bride found out, she absolutely lost it. She ran across the room in her dress and blocked the doors, screaming about how everyone was ruining her wedding. She kept screaming, "Bride's day, bride's way!" It was such a scene that her father had to peel her off the door. I don't know where the husband was; probably cowering. After that, the people who didn't know her all left. I heard through the grapevine that she was inconsolable the entire night... She got trashed and threw up—hopefully on her dress, but I’m not sure.

Oh well, Bride's Day, bride's way!

Permalink

You Think You Know Someone

I had coordinated a bridezilla’s wedding. My cousin's six-month-old baby had passed a few days prior to the wedding. I called the bride and told her of my family situation, and I assured her that my assistant would be stepping in for me so that I could attend the funeral. Her reply made my blood run cold. She told me to send my assistant to the funeral and that I had better be at her wedding.

I told her I would be sending her a refund and that now no one at all would be coming to her wedding. The groom ended up leaving her after this whole thing went down. Suffice to say, he really dodged a bullet there.

human_9

Sister Act

My sister was a bridezilla. She announced her two-year engagement and asked me to be the maid of honor. I then got the opportunity to move across the country to pursue my career. It was 18 months before her wedding, and her reaction was chilling. Instead of congratulating me, she said, "You're going to leave me here to plan my wedding all by myself?"

It was as if I had signed away my right to have a life for the “honor” of being in her wedding. Oh, but that was just the first salvo. She made us all spend hundreds of dollars on specialized dresses, and even the bachelorette party had a dress code and a steep price tag. For 10 years before her engagement, I had consistently had blue, green, and purple hair, but knowing that she is conservative, I let the color grow out.

I had natural color but a short bob with an undercut and even that just wasn’t good enough. She went on about it constantly. In the lead-up, we talked every few days to discuss her wedding—despite the problems, it was the closest we'd ever been. Then, as soon as she was married, I got radio silence. She even forgot my birthday.

Needless to say, we don't speak anymore.

VincentVanGoghst

Monster-in-Law

According to my mother-in-law, I was the bridezilla. We had a maximum limit of 36 people, including ourselves and my son. My mother-in-law gave me a guest list that included—you guessed it—36 names. She assured me that not everyone would come, but that they would be very appreciative of the invite. I felt totally grossed out.

Still, I left the decision up to my husband, since it was his family after all. Needless to say, they all got invites. Then, I had asked for RSVPs to be given a few months before the wedding. Since the mother-in-law had used up all of the room on the guest list, I had to reduce my side to four people, with some on hold until I knew the exact numbers. I was starting to come to terms with it, but then she did something that made me absolutely livid.

I finally lost it two weeks before the wedding when I still didn’t have RSVPs. She said she would work on it and get back to me. A week before the wedding, she outdid herself in the worst way possible. She said one family also needed to bring nine other people because they were going on a family trip and our town was on the way so they would all be here anyway.

I flat out said no and called her out. I cut off the guest list and said that I was inviting the rest of my guest list and whoever hadn’t RSVP’d wouldn’t get a chair or plate. Right up to the day of the wedding, they were making changes. We got married at a Chinese buffet so that it would be the simplest planning and everyone would have something that they liked to eat.

My dress was $40 off Amazon. My flowers were $20 from Costco. We had a Dairy Queen ice cream cake for the wedding cake. Yet she still makes it out that I was the bridezilla.

SelenaJnb

A Rollercoaster Of Emotions

My co-worker married a crazy bridezilla. Here’s just a taste of what happened leading up to, during, and after the wedding. The moment he proposed, she lost her desire to sleep with him. According to him, she also basically stopped acting like the woman he fell in love with and started acting like her real self.

A week after he proposed, she quit her job. According to her, her full-time job was now planning the wedding. The wedding was horrible, but I'm getting there. She then had a fight with his mother because she demanded that she pay for half the wedding while getting zero input on anything.

Like, the groom’s family wasn’t even allowed to contribute to the guest list, which ended up being 95% of the bride's friends and family. The bride, who was 30 years old, subsequently egged her future mother-in-law’s house. When the bride and groom had a spat about the egging, he went to work the next day. That's when he received a disturbing video.

The video was of her screaming and sobbing as she buzzed her hair off in the bathroom. I worked with him, so he showed me the video. I strongly urged him to have her assessed by a psychiatrist. In response, he made a stupid joke about how intimacy with a crazy girl is the best kind and I pitied him. There's no amount of patience in the world that would help me survive a relationship like that.

Now we get to the juicy part: the wedding. It was in a pool "clubhouse" in summer, and it was much too small for the 150+ people they invited. Someone forgot to turn the AC on until after the place was packed. A lifeguard showed up in a swimsuit to turn it on, but it did little given it was already sweltering.

Two rows of chairs in the clubhouse were ribboned off with “reserved” signs on them, so no one sat in them. They were later occupied by the six bridesmaids, leaving about a dozen chairs open once the wedding started. The one groomsman, who was the best man, stood by the groom and didn't sit, while elderly people were left standing as there was no way to get to the chairs once the ceremony started.

The bride showed up 90 minutes late. She was unhappy with her hair and makeup, so she took it all off and did it herself. All the guests were standing for 1.5 hours just waiting for her. The groom was literally standing at the altar sweating his butt off in a wool suit, and he was clearly not sure if she would show up.

He looked like he felt sick. When the bride did show up, it somehow got worse. She burst into the clubhouse, marched down the aisle, and snapped at the officiant to "hurry up and get started." During the prayer while the religious groom had his head bowed, she turned to wave at everyone (I don't pray so I was looking up), then she told her mother to go get her some water.

She drank a bottle of water during the prayer and kept grinning and waving at people in attendance, paying zero attention to her groom in front of her. When the ceremony was over, tables were crammed into the clubhouse…and apparently only family and immediate friends of the bride had seats at the tables. The rest of us were to stand outside during the reception. I didn't see a dance, a speech, the cake cut, nothing.

The food was served outside where there were bugs everywhere. The bride made the groom get her food over and over. He meekly stood in line with the other 150 people, until people insisted he go sit and let them get food. Nope, she told him to do it, so he said he had to be the one to get it for her.

She never left her table to greet any of her guests. And when it was over, it went nuclear. Apparently, they had a massive fight as they were leaving the following day for the honeymoon, with the bride laying all the failures of the wedding she planned at his and his mom's feet. She threw his luggage out of the car and tried to drive to the airport by herself.

However, he had their tickets and jumped on the hood to stop her from driving off in his car. He then got fired about a month after the wedding because he kept showing up late and leaving early to deal with her personal crises. One year after the wedding, I got a thank-you note for my wedding gift, and it revealed the whole story.

It was signed by just the bride with a note that said, "As you may have heard, Ryan and I have had a bumpy start in our first year as a married couple, and we're separated now. Thanks for the lovely gift." They divorced a couple of months later.

gambitgirl

Start The Way You Mean To Go On

This was a groomzilla. A friend of my father was remarrying, and it was both his and the bride’s second time around. They were both in their early 40s, and it was an arranged marriage. The guy was an utter mess. He demanded that every event be at top-notch hotels with obscenely expensive catering and hired string quartets and whatnot for the entertainment.

This was mostly paid out of the bride’s family’s pocket, I might add. The parties on the nights leading up to the main wedding event were opportunities for him to make a rather public jerk out of himself, talking at the top of his voice everywhere he went and showboating the entire time. But the kicker came the next day.

The bride was missing from her own wedding reception. Obviously, it was very odd and conspicuous, and the few relatives from her side made some non-committal excuses about her not feeling well, etc. Turns out, this idiot had divorced the poor woman right after he had his wedding night fun. He said that he “didn’t like her enough,” and that’s an almost literal quote.

The marriage was officially over before the festivities even ended.

pqrsthrowawayyyy

You Need More Than A Priest, People

As a minister, there’s only one ceremony I had to walk away from. I received a call from my sister-in-law that one of her friends was supposed to get married and the priest had passed the week before. They didn't want to change the date or move anything, so they asked if I knew anyone who could help out.

I said, "Sure, when is the wedding?" It was supposed to be in an hour. Okay, no problem—I was on my way home from work where I had finished up an important meeting, so I was already reasonably well-dressed. I called home to say I was going to be late. When I arrived, it went wrong almost immediately. The "happy couple" looked at me and asked if I had proper priest’s vestments.

Um, no, I didn't, and if I did, I probably wouldn't be carrying them in my car. This is, after all, was an emergency. Still, the bride asked if I was able to go buy some and come back. I told her that I didn't even know where to buy garments like that. The groom then told me that if I couldn't even try, then maybe I should leave. So I did. Oh, but it gets better.

My sister-in-law told me they later cornered a priest at the church and told him he had to marry them, or they would sue the church for a breach of contract and that it was the moral thing to do. They divorced nine months later when her "surprise" baby was of a different ethnicity than he was. It didn't help that he had a side-piece as well.

JuggleMonkey

Mother Knows Best

The store I worked at was a women’s formalwear store, so I have plenty of bridezilla family stories. More than once, we had mothers physically fighting over dresses for their daughters, including two moms who were sisters. These ladies came to blows because their respective daughters ended up wanting the same dress.

The worst moms weren’t actually the obviously rude moms, though. They were the 40-something yoga moms who’d spend the entire time body-shaming their daughters. There was even one yoga mom who, instead of approving of her daughter as she tried on dresses, spent the entire shopping day trying on dresses herself. No, really.

phoenixphaerie

Telling On Yourself

I have to confess, I was a bridezilla. It was a small wedding, like 50 people, and it was going to be a casual celebration in a park. Everything was handmade or from the dollar store. I only ended up with a dress from a David's because the first little bohemian dress I ordered was more of a shirt, and my mom refused to let me wear it.

At the bridal shop, my mom told the lady not to tell me any prices, but I told her I would only consider dresses under $200. I tried on one dress and cried because I loved it so much. My mom bought it, and I later looked it up and saw it was $3,000. That changed everything. No more wedding at a park. Instead, we booked a small venue. We served pizza and pies still, and the groomsmen were still wearing polos and shorts.

The bridesmaids were in some Rue21 dresses I bought for them. That’s when it all unraveled. I only became a bridezilla on the day of. None of my family showed up, so my husband's side was full and mine was empty. Even our friends sat on his side. I was already primed at that point, and then the wheels came off.

Our MC read the speech I wrote before we were even at the altar, and our camera lost battery so we didn't get the recording, I tripped going up to the altar, and I had herniated a disc a week before the wedding. I was miserable and in so much pain. I cried so hard afterward. It felt like it was terrible; like everything was ruined, and I took it out on everyone.

I did my best to hold it together as much as I could, but I was so relieved when it was over. If I could do it all over, I would change everything; especially how I acted. None of that excuses my snippy behavior or my crying constantly on the day. Being stressed and upset didn't give me the right to make others feel bad.

kiwiloden

All In The Family

My mom was a mother-of-the-bridezilla. She’s generally pleasant, with her annoying habits here and there—but man, she was a nightmare during the wedding planning. The woman cried because we refused to have a receiving line...when we got married in our backyard. The reception was on the other side of the yard. Why the heck would we have a receiving line?!

She was beside herself for the better part of an entire year worrying what we would do if it rained—we had a giant tent, and we ordered like 20 umbrellas. She also had a cow that the hem on her dress had gotten pulled loose by the ridiculous rhinestone stilettos she chose to wear (to a wedding in a yard...on grass). I told my maid of honor to get her some duct tape and my mother, again, cried her eyes out.

To this day, she complains about the fabric runner we used for the aisle because her heels dug into it, saying how silly of a choice that was. Everyone in the wedding party was aware of it and wore wedges or flats, but she snorted that that wasn’t elegant. She LOATHED that I wore ballet flats. She was also appalled that our rehearsal dinner, which was at our home, consisted of takeout from our favorite local pizza and sandwich place.

She decried it for being “borderline trashy.” Thankfully, following the ceremony, my brother gave her a talking to and all was well for the party thereafter.

februarytide-

My Way Or The Highway

My mother-in-law was a momzilla. My wife wanted a regular-sized wedding—nothing fancy, just a cozy celebration at a historic venue she loved. We had planned for about 100 guests at most, and we planned to do a lot of the work. Suddenly, my mother-in-law started to pressure us about having to invite tons of people, since she’s loaded and a social butterfly.

She also wanted us to change the venue, the photographer, etc. I didn’t care since I just wanted to make my wife happy. I did my best to adjust. Then, one day, about two months before the wedding, my wife had a breakdown crying because of all the changes from her mom. That's when I had enough. I told my wife I would handle her from now on.

I called her up and read her the riot act, telling her to cool it or we would just get a courtroom wedding and forget about the religious wedding, which was a huge deal to the family. She fought me for weeks. The whole family fought me. I told them all to pound sand. We had our original wedding; I was folding invitations and favors the night before until 3 am, but by heck we got it done.

Of course, my mother-in-law still changed the DJ and photographers without me knowing, so we had completely wrong music, and we have yet to see the pictures (16 years later). To this day, we have minimal contact with the family.

Gnomelover

All About Me

My brother married a bridezilla. She yelled at my mother on the day of the wedding for asking her where she wanted certain decorations put at the reception site. For what it’s worth, there wasn’t a written plan, so my mom had nothing to go off of. She never thanked my parents for financially contributing to the wedding, either.

She also accused a bridesmaid of trying to upstage her by getting a spray tan before the wedding. My brother wanted me to be part of the wedding party, but she told him to his face that I was too pretty to be a part of it, and that all of her bridesmaids had to be less attractive than her. Oh, but she was just getting started. She yanked my sister-in-law’s jacket right off her back at the reception because one of her bridesmaids was cold.

The list goes on. Well, they got divorced about a year later because apparently her demanding attitude carried over into the marriage. Needless to say, the rest of my family had a little party when we heard about the divorce.

rootsinheck

Sibling Rivalry

My sister was a bridezilla. She asked me to be her bridesmaid. The dresses were hundreds of dollars, and my mom ended up paying for them because she knew I couldn't afford them. 70 bucks in alterations later, the stupid dress finally fit. I lived in Edmonton at the time and my sister was in Abbotsford, BC, which is far away.

She demanded I fly down for her bachelorette party. Fine. 300-dollar for a flight there. I stayed with my mom until my sister kicked me out on the night before her wedding. Apparently, she wanted a "special night" with her TWO maids of honor and I was “just” a bridesmaid, so I couldn't be there. Whatever.

During the bachelorette party, I was told I needed to bring drinks for myself and the bride. Fine. I went to the store and she ran up 100 bucks on my card with what she wanted. Whatever, it's her wedding. She proceeded to drink none of it; then went to bed at the hotel early because she was angry for some reason. She then gave my bottles, all 100 bucks of it, to her husband for his bachelor party the next night.

But that's not all—she also got angry that my gift for them wasn't off her registry. I looked at the registry and there was nothing under 200 bucks. I mean, this witch even put a 900-dollar vacuum on there. When all was said and done, HER stupid wedding cost ME over a thousand dollars.

She then didn't speak to me for years after, and even when she did reach out, she only wanted to tell me that she didn't actually want me as a bridesmaid and that I ruined her wedding. She said she only asked me out of courtesy and that the spot was actually meant for her wedding planner, our cousin. At this point, we don't keep in touch. Her wedding ruined our relationship.

tashabear

Mr. Wrong

I married a groomzilla. I bent over backward to make the wedding as magical as he wanted, even though I would have been happy in someone's backyard with a potluck. In couple’s counseling seven years later, he made a disturbing confession. He admitted that he never really wanted to marry ME so much as he wanted a huge show and party.

Everyone liked and approved of me, so he wanted them all to see he was making a good choice and be envious of him. He wanted them to be proud of him. We used up most of the money I got from a car accident settlement on the wedding. It could have covered a down payment on a small house. After all that, he asked me for divorce in 2020.

PickanickBasket

Tux-e-Don’t

I spent four years of my life working in a formal menswear sales and rental chain, where the average wedding gown from the bridal shop started at $3k. My most memorable bridezilla was this woman who came in with her fiancé. Poor dude never said a word. She wanted a very specific color of shirt to match her "diamond white" gown.

She also wanted it in a mandarin collar, with a mid-range shawl collar and two-button jacket. 14 of them. Okay, pretty straightforward...but when you're renting shirts, particularly these shirts because they were newer so some were closer to white and some were VERY ivory, I can't guarantee that every shirt will even be the same color, let alone that exact shade of "diamond white."

I explained this. Twice. And she still signed off—but she emphasized the shirts WOULD all be the same color, and they WOULD be the right color. Okay, lady. I'll do my best. Cue six weeks later, the Thursday before the wedding. Bridezilla comes in with her poor fiancé. We pull out the tuxes. OF COURSE, the shirts are exactly as I warned her they would be.

There were several shades, and only one was her perfect color—and it wasn’t the groom's shirt. She lost her ever-loving mind. Crying, pounding on our glass countertop, WAILING at the top of her lungs. She got so agitated she shattered our front counter with her pounding.

We called the authorities and officers detained her. The groom took his and everyone else's tuxes and left. On Sunday, I happened to be accepting returns. The father of the groom came back with 14 unworn tuxes. He explained that the bride spent 24 hours behind bars after my spineless manager refused to press charges.

At the rehearsal dinner, the bride threw some insane temper tantrum, complete with throwing glassware, swearing, and finally punching the groom in the face. He decided not to proceed with the wedding. I will never forget that woman's crazy eyes or her insistence on the perfect colored shirts from a $90 rental. It was truly wild.

MomofanAvenger

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

I ended a friendship with a bridezilla who desperately wanted me to attend her wedding. She had it scheduled for the weekend of the eclipse in 2017, which was something I had planned for literally a decade. She asked me what my plan was, and I told her that I would be flying to the Missouri/Kentucky area. She wanted me to fly to Idaho instead, which was where she lived.

I would have, but all flights, hotels, and rental cars in Idaho were completely booked out. I couldn’t get there even if I wanted to. In response, she said I didn’t care about her or her wedding and that I didn’t want to see her on her big day. She claimed I put the eclipse—something I had planned on seeing for 10 ten years—before her “Lenny,” who I had known for six months.

So I ended things really fast after that. But from what I see, she still posts photos of her wedding to this day. Like, every day she posts different wedding photos. It’s almost like she stopped living after her wedding.

ReactivationCode-1

Big Little Lies

They had the expensive $75k wedding. Afterward, they split—and the astonishing truth came out. It turned out the bride never turned in the paperwork to make their marriage official. The groom didn't even know he wasn't married until he wanted to file for a divorce. The bride never returned the gifts either, even though they never got married.

She'd just lied to everyone about it...

Competitive_Fruit368

Happily Never After

I married a bridezilla. In the 18 months that we were married, she was such an unfit mother (too many instances to list here) that when the divorce was finalized, I got custody of our kid AND the kid she had prior to our marriage. Also, she was a blackout drinker and cheated on me with several different men. But the final straw was brutal.

I had to travel out of state to check on my grandmother. I came back a day early, saw used Marlboros in the ashtray—not her brand, and I don't smoke—and then I heard grunting and groaning in the bedroom. Yep, there she was. And there he was. And there HE was. Devil's Triangle. Contacted a divorce lawyer the next day, finalized it as fast as possible.

threedice

Toxic Waste

My ex-best friend was a bridezilla. She always had a short fuse, but I put up with that side of her because I cared about her dearly. I met someone who I was engaged to for three years, and even before that, we’d been friends for four years.

Before we got married, she used to stay over at our house all the time, and we all got along. Then she met a guy. After being together for about four months, they got engaged. That's when everything changed. She would talk to people in a really posh voice as though she was above everyone, and she even went out and bought a horse to appear like she had money.

She asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and of course, I said yes. I really wish I hadn’t now. A couple of months after that, we met for coffee and I told her I was pregnant. I thought she’d be as happy as I was, as we’d been trying for a while. Nope! According, to her I got pregnant just to ruin her wedding and take the focus off of her.

Um... ok. Once we got pregnant, we planned to finally tie the knot before the baby arrived. We decided to do this on our anniversary. We envisioned a really small friends-and-family wedding. This was only three weeks after her wedding—not ideal, but we wanted it on our special day.

When her wedding day arrived, she had it in a church. She’s not religious at all and he was a very vocal atheist. Still, she had an expensive wedding dress and booked out the most expensive hotel in our local city. It was a huge affair. That’s fine, it was her special day. I was there for her through it all—I did everything a bridesmaid was meant to do even if I did have morning sickness.

I kept a smile on my face holding her ridiculously long veil up for most of the day. Then my wedding day arrived, which was a very small registry office affair that was perfect for us. She sat there looking like she was chewing a lemon and didn’t smile once. Afterward, she spoke with my mom who’d she’d known for years. My mom said, “You’re probably used to all this by now,” or something like that. She replied, “Yes, but mine was a lot grander.”

When she came to the reception, she accused my other best friend from childhood of playing footsie with her new husband under the table! My friend was not like that at all, and she’d only caught his foot while crossing her legs. I let that one slide...but later on, when I finally had my baby, she did something that made my blood run cold.

She visited for the first time in about six months and said, “Oh, it’s got red hair." She didn’t even refer to her by her name at all. That was all she had to say, so I cut her off at long last. It was the best thing I ever did. I hadn’t noticed how toxic she was until that moment. Now my husband and I live in the same little house we did before we got married. We did not have any debt at all from the wedding and we are still very happy six years after our wedding.

She, however, got into loads of debt from her wedding. Her husband also lost his job for gross misconduct, and she had to sell her horse. Now, six years later, I heard they’re living in her dad’s basement.

jowiejojo

Nothing Hurts Like Family

I worked at a popular bridal store and I dealt with a few bridezillas while I was there. The biggest issue we had was the plus-sized section. These women would come in convinced they looked awful in everything. They would find a dress they loved and we would talk them up, but it would unravel in an instant.

They would come out and their family would act so vicious. The disappointment and pain was palpable as their excitement melted away. They'd throw comments like, “Oh NO, you look ginormous in that,” or “You can’t wear that! Your arms show and you know how flabby they look!” You could kick out mom or talk the bride up in the dressing room, but you could tell they still were in pain.

Girls4super

And Your Little Dog Too

My sister decided to marry a guy she’d been with for less than four months. It was her second marriage and it was a spur-of-the-moment decision with less than one month’s notice. Flying across Canada is expensive...Anyway, I had just started a new job and it was imperative that I be there at work during her wedding.

Like, there wasn’t the slightest option for time off, or I would have been let go. She didn’t talk to me for over a year. Well, the marriage lasted less than the year, if that. She took him for everything—he lost his house and his car, and he drank himself out of his job. She took his dog and told him it had been run over. She’s a peach. Single, if anyone’s looking.

mommastang

Cold Feet, Cold Manners

I’m a wedding planner. The bride was in her late twenties, while the groom was in his mid-thirties. From what I understood, they had never been in relationships before; at least, not serious ones. On top of that, they were in a long-distance relationship and never actually lived together. Since the groom was living in another city, consultations and communication were done with the bride only.

She seemed a little awkward, although generally nice and easy to talk to. When I got to the ceremony, the groom was very stressed. I figured it was the normal pre-ceremony stress and he would warm up to me later, but nope! Once we got to the reception venue, I wanted to chat with him and check if everything was okay.

I can't remember what I said exactly, but it was something like, "Hey! I could tell you were very stressed before the ceremony! How are you feeling now?" For some reason, he took it the wrong way and refused to talk to me for the rest of the evening. He asked his mom (remember, he was in his mid-thirties) to tell me to leave the reception because he didn't like seeing me walking around, even though I was just doing my job.

After asking the bride if that's also what she wanted, she reluctantly agreed and asked me to come back later. I ended up sitting on a chair in the hallway for 30 minutes like a child until he gave me permission to come back and complete my job. He also refused to do the couple portraits after the ceremony. The bride managed to convince him at first, but after 10 minutes, he was done and refused to cooperate.

Needless to say, they ended up with very few good photos! Something tells me he grew up very sheltered and didn't know how to act with people, but who knows. To this day, I have no idea if they're still together, but one thing is sure: I will never work with them again.

FederalSelf6

You Can’t Choose Your Family

I had a momzilla; my mother-in-law. She had insisted that she was a "traditionalist, so since I was marrying her daughter, she said she would be paying for the whole deal. That was fine with my wife, so it was fine with me. My mother-in-law took no further role in the planning process.

Then, very late in the game—after 18 months of planning—my wife sent her the seating plan just to make sure it would be workable. After what sounded like a robust discussion over the phone, my wife came to me and told me that her mother wasn't happy with the seating plan. She was demanding that she sit at the bridal table, or she'd pull her money.

I called my mother-in-law back and asked her to explain the problem to me. She got very emotional, ranting about how it was the "tradition" she wanted to follow. She was threatening to withdraw her money if she didn't have her way. I took a second to consider my options and told her that it was fine—fortunately, a seat at the bridal table had just opened up. But then I continued with a slam dunk.

I said that spot was mine, and I wouldn't be needing it. I then hung up the phone and handed it back to my wife. On the day of the wedding, my mother-in-law sat where she was told.

drumondo

Better Off Alone

She told me she regretted marrying me a day after our wedding because it wasn't exactly how she wanted it to be. She also told me, on my birthday, that she was going to have an affair. When a few of my closest friends passed away in a short period of time, she told me to “get over it” because “life goes on.” She then filed for divorce because apparently I never loved or cared about her. She wants nothing to do with me.

gregorious13

Do Not Disturb

I married a groomzilla. I wanted to elope because I didn’t like the idea of being stared at by people. He demanded a wedding of 200+. He had my parents build a giant gazebo on our farm and said he’d help pay for building costs. My dad and I built it by hand with our neighbor, and he wasn’t anywhere in sight for what was a year-long project.

Shortly after the wedding, we retired to our hotel and he didn’t want to get intimate. I was like, okay; it was a long day, I get it. But later, three months into a dry marriage, I walked into an awful sight. He was getting it on with our 60-year-old male neighbor. I opened my bedroom door, saw him, and said I was sorry. I then shut the door, got my dog, and drove home to my mom and dad who lived a state away.

Why did I say I was sorry and not yell? I will never know.

CrustyBaggins

Master Manipulator

I was married to a manipulative narcissist. She got a hold of me in college when my parents didn't deliver on their promise to provide financial support. Now, that would have been fine since I could have made plans and changed how I did my schooling or something, but no. They promised a certain amount of money per month but only gave half.

I had rent to pay, so I basically stopped eating. I had no furniture in my apartment—I slept on egg crate foam. She saw this and I guess she felt bad because she started feeding me. Eventually, we would end up sleeping together in her nice warm bed. Then, later on, I moved in with her because things were going well…Little did I know that was when things would hit the fan. I owed her now and I could not get away.

She convinced me that she "needed" me and that I had to be there to support her in her every endeavor. Every single one. I went to her classes with her, I went clothes shopping with her, and I didn't go out with my friends because she needed me to sleep. She made me feel so obligated to her that my life almost fell apart. I felt so indebted to her that I let her treat me like garbage.

But the worst thing she ever did was emotionally blackmail me into getting married. "If you actually loved me, you'd marry me." She knew I was a sensitive person who genuinely cared about other people, and she used that to say if I didn't marry her I was an evil person who didn't care. The marriage lasted two years. She kept us financially off-balance by moving us around a bunch.

At some point, I got a good job and finally managed to get my own car and everything. I started building a new life, but she still tried to pull her old shtick on me. I had been going to therapy and she dropped out of our joint sessions because she didn't like that therapist. Eventually, we got divorced, but what's messed up about that was that after we were separated, all she wanted was to get me back in the sack.

I noped the heck out. That would be all I needed, to get my estranged wife pregnant. She never knew I was sterile…heck, even I didn't know at that time. All she wanted was a baby and she probably would have left me had she known. She got a new boyfriend and, get this—she moved with him out of state. One day, she called me up and said, "I want to thank you for breaking up with me in person, like an adult. My current partner just took the Xbox and disappeared."

She's a monster and I regret ever meeting her.

panic-and-panic

Love All Of Me

She paid for a life-size portrait of herself in her wedding dress. It was very important at the time. The marriage lasted one year before she cheated. I hope her future suitors take that as a clue.

FrizzleFriedPup

Cutting It Close

I'm a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding. So a few weeks before the actual ceremony, I decided to knuckle-cut off all of my hair because the heat was unbearable. When my friend, the bride, saw it, she was really upset with me because she envisioned all of the bridesmaids with up-dos, which I never knew about in the first place.

Still, if I had asked for her permission to cut my hair, I would have been denied.

KayFatal

The Wedding Planner

I think I was a reverse-bridezilla. I've been married twice—the first time around, I had a medium-sized, stressful church wedding. My parents probably spent $20k on the whole shindig, about 20 years ago. The marriage lasted less than five years. The next time I got engaged, I was like, yeah...been there, done that on the whole "big wedding" thing.

My parents had already been tapped enough and I still felt bad that they had to shell out for a wedding when the marriage was over so quickly. I said we should go to the court and maybe have a nice dinner at a restaurant afterward. However, my husband, who was a little younger, had never been married and his (huge) family was all excited over the idea of a big, white wedding for their only boy.

So he dug in his heels and told me that he really wanted a wedding. My compromise, which I did not expect him to take me up on, was that if he really wanted a wedding, he could plan and pay for it himself. This backfired on me so hard. He excitedly agreed. Well, folks...I'm here to tell you that he did as good as his word.

I was 100% checked-out of the entire wedding planning. Zero stress level. I was a few months pregnant and working, so this was very agreeable to me. I literally only showed up when he asked me to, like when he said I needed to pick out a dress at David's Bridal. I pointed to the first reasonably priced, reasonably attractive gown I saw, tried it on, and was out the door with it in 15 minutes.

Our wedding day arrived, and my husband-to-be had gone ALL OUT. His whole family had pitched in, and they had produced a band, a sit-down dinner, flowers, a cake, horse and carriage, photographer, everything. Considerably more fun than my first wedding, and less money spent overall. I never had so much fun in my whole entire life.

Everything was a surprise because I legitimately had no idea what he'd arranged. My parents were so thrilled that they didn't have to pay for a big wedding again that they sent us on a pretty nice honeymoon instead. So I guess I married a groomzilla? But it was pretty awesome all around, so I honestly have no complaints!

aceromester

Better Without You

My ex was a bridezilla and our wedding was probably in the $20k plus range. She is very much a person who wants to appear like everything is going great. She wants to hear about your gossip, but she doesn't ever open up about herself. One day, all her secrets came tumbling out. She cheated on me after less than three years of marriage.

She seemed repentant and appeared to try. We had a couple of kids (that look just like me, thank goodness), but then she cheated on me again. I divorced her, which she is still furious about. I'm now happily married again to a woman who loves me and treats me well. Honestly, I didn't know love could feel this good or that I was worth this much.

apocalypse31

If I Could Turn Back Time

My brother-in-law married a bridezilla. She made him spend something like $45k on the wedding, and within a month she was cheating on him. They managed to somehow stick it out to have two kids, but she left him for one of his high school buddies after three years. They're divorced now, but she's a giant piece of trash and ignores her kids most of the time.

Skadoosh_it

Money Talks

My first marriage was to a bridezilla. She 1) drank before the ceremony, 2) wouldn’t dance because she was “too anxious that people would make fun of her,” 3) tried bragging to my cousins during the dinner that our wedding was better than theirs, and 4) invited her “ex” boyfriend to the ceremony. I later found out she had been sleeping with him both before and after our wedding. But that wasn’t even the cherry on top.

She later took the money we had received as gifts—money we were planning on using for a house down payment—and spent it on random stuff. Actually, she had a ton of debt she kept from me. I left her a year after I found out and never looked back. Now, I’m happily married to a great woman. Obviously, hindsight is 20/20, but there were a lot of red flags I should have noticed.

andrew12276

Take The Money And Run

My uncle married this lady who was an insane bridezilla. She put him into an enormous amount of debt because she wouldn't settle for anything less than her perfect dream wedding. Then, she had the marriage annulled after the fancy honeymoon, saying she didn't want to be his wife but she always wanted to have her dream wedding. Witch.

Lobi-Wan

A (Sad) Tale As Old As Time

My husband’s long-term, childhood friend married a bridezilla. She is Evangelical and religion is pretty much her life. Meanwhile, he was agnostic and a very big metal-head geek. They asked us to be part of their wedding entourage. My husband and I are both tattooed, and when we arrived at the wedding, we were his only friends present.

Everyone at that big wedding was from her church. The preacher kept saying to him that his old life was behind him now and his new life was just about to begin, yadda, yadda. But while he was giving his sermon, everyone kept looking at my husband and I like we were beasts. Worst day ever.

She is that kind of person who wants to be an influencer. EVERYTHING is on her Instagram. Their relationship seems perfect there, but he always seems so unhappy and so apathetic. When we actually talk to him, he always brings up how they are so different.

She made him stop talking to us. Eventually, he got out of every friend group we had, and he stopped answering my husband, who is very sad he lost his friend. Even worse, I believe she is the one replying in the few weird messages he does get.

madonna4ever94

Keep It Simple, Stupid

Kind of the opposite end of the spectrum. My wife and I eloped a few months before our "wedding" and kept it mostly a secret. Then, on the day of, we just focused on having an awesome party for us and our friends. Well, our pastor canceled last minute and stood us up for the rehearsal. My wife checked into the hotel the morning of.

Lady at the hotel counter: "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Wife jokingly: "Yes, a pastor."

LAC: "...Our omelet chef is ordained..."

LAC: "Hey TONY! You busy tonight?"

Tony:…"NO"

Wife: “Ok!”

jon110334

Buyer’s Remorse

My first wife was a bridezilla, but I didn’t find out the true extent of her wrath until just after we were married. During the honeymoon, reality hit her like a truck. She realized she just wanted the big wedding, which she had, but not the marriage. The next two years were a nightmare until she finally tapped out. I was young and stupid, so the thought of divorce never crossed my mind.

I don't know why it didn't. I guess I just assumed I'd be miserable the rest of my life. When she told me she was leaving, it felt as if the weight of the world was off my shoulders. On a happy note, her parents were still paying off the wedding when we divorced. That's what happens when you give your daughter everything she wants…like two freaking wedding dresses.

hansie68

Get Out, Girl

I married a groomzilla. This guy had costume changes planned for the wedding and reception. He would yell at the wedding planner over menial things like serving fruit kabobs so that people would maybe get enough to eat. There was zero compromise—he made a lot of promises for things I had been wanting after the wedding and they never materialized, like a beach vacation and such.

Turns out, no compromise at the wedding meant no compromise anywhere else, so I left him after four years of marriage. Best decision ever!!!

Affectionate-Sea-20

Fool Me Once

I married a groomzilla. He is a lovely, sweet, and thoughtful man; but boy did he lose it at the wedding. I would have been more than happy with a small wedding—literally, I would just three special people there. He needed 200+. As far as I was concerned, we could eat off paper plates and have a big bonfire to burn them afterward. But no, he needed personalized moist towelettes.

You get the point. He is a lovely person and I love him dearly, but I will never marry him again.

cfishlips

A Whole Lot Of Baggage

My sister was a self-centered jerk during the six months before her wedding, with her coup de gras being the wedding day itself. I know it was all nerves so I don't harbor any grudges, but ugh, I wouldn't relive that day for any money in the world. My strongest memory is her holding a bag of her stuff and SCREAMING on the church steps:

"Why am I holding something? WILL SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I AM HOLDING SOMETHING ON MY FREAKING WEDDING DAY??? Someone better take this out of my hands immediately."

blue_lotion

Read The Room

I knew a woman who was a bridesmaid at a relative’s wedding. She was married and had been trying to get pregnant for a while. Finally, she and her husband got lucky and she conceived. The bridezilla got furious and kicked her out of the wedding because she would be pregnant in the pictures. But that's not even the most tragic part.

Three months later, sadly, the woman miscarried. The bride called her with a response along the lines of "Good riddance. Now you can be a part of the wedding again." Needless to say, she did not even attend it.

hulagirl4737

You Get What You Put In

My ex-fiancé was super normal…until we got engaged. She went from wanting a small, simple wedding with less than 100 guests to a grand hall and wanting to invite everyone she ever exchanged more than three words with. She even wanted to import flowers. But the final straw was when she scheduled an appointment with a real estate agent to SELL MY HOUSE to pay for the wedding.

Also, her family was loaded but they weren’t going to contribute anything. I broke it off, and she got engaged again one year later to an attorney…Unfortunately for her, she didn’t read the prenup before signing. They got married and divorced one month later. She got nothing and is still alone.

edwadokun

The Grandmother Of Tantrums

I had a friend who threw a temper tantrum complete with screaming and foot-stomping because her grandmother had the audacity to pass a few hours before her wedding. She said it would throw off the seating arrangements since there would be a big empty space. She is currently halfway through her second divorce.

kidtendomom

Huffing And Puffing

I work at a summer camp and on the first day, we always let the campers vote on a mascot that we use for the rest of the summer, as a sort of bonding thing. This year, the kids voted for a wolf as the mascot. It was almost unanimous, but one kid, probably about 9 or 10, threw a fit, because he believed that wolves were “bad guys.”

He also claimed they were predators and killers, so he didn’t want to be a wolf, he wanted to be a hero. He refused to participate in any team activities because he didn’t want to be on a team with the “bad guys.” We even brought in a guy one day in a full wolf mascot costume and the kid got upset and threw a massive tantrum.

I almost felt like we were going to learn at some point that his brother was taken away by wolves or some other tragic origin story. I did feel bad for the boy because I was fairly certain he had some kind of unaddressed emotional difficulties or something, but we weren’t going to change the mascot name that almost everyone voted for.

Friendly_Coconut

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

I was in a car accident a few years ago and it messed my leg up. Since then, I've been using a walking stick. One day, I was walking to the shop and an old bloke gave me the dirtiest look I've ever seen. What he said next was unbelievable. He told me: "What do you need a cane for? You're only a kid." He actually got quite irritated at just the sight of me using a stick.

Like, my dude, I'm just out trying to buy some milk. I don't need your judgement today. I didn't say that out loud though, I just said it to myself after I got home.

Ace_Of_Shovels

Technical Difficulties

Around 22 years ago, I had a phone interview with a baking company. I didn’t care to have my peers know what I was up to so I took the call on my cell phone in my car. The call was crystal clear and no technical issues. At one point, he mentioned the weather and asked how it was there. I told him I was sitting in my car and could see it was snowing.

The interviewer asked me, “Are you taking this call on a cell phone?” I told him I was. He then asked me if I thought that was appropriate. I asked him what he meant by that. He said he thought it was kind of rude to take a formal call on a cell phone. I told him I would be more than happy to conclude the interview if talking on a cell phone was an issue.

If he was interested, I’d be happy to continue it the next day when I’d be at a desk. He again repeated how rude he thought it was that I had called from a cell phone and that there was no need to continue the interview process. I disagreed with the first point but did agree with the second. To this day, I wonder what the big deal was.

TokenCommonMan

Scary Numbers

I had a science teacher who refused to acknowledge page 666 in our textbook. He would refer to it as page 666-a. So when he counted pages he would say 664, 665, 666-a, 667, etc.

Stan5Darsh

Safety First

One time my friend got offended when I put on my seatbelt because she thought I was commenting on her driving ability.

SnooPaintings2137

Witch One?

We use an app at work called Bonfyre. One employee refused to use it because they claimed that bonfires are for witchcraft and pagans.

dixiedoo48

Missed A Spot

I spent nine hours deep-cleaning the house for an inspection. I went above and beyond, clearing my work schedule and going the extra mile, but my roommate insisted on double-checking my work. He had a complete psychotic meltdown because I forgot to sweep underneath the couch. I moved out the next day and never spoke to him again.

cha-do

More Catty Than A Cat

I was at the vet with my cat and he happened to sneeze. This act was apparently very offensive to an elderly woman who was there with her corgi. She started screaming at me for about 30 minutes about pet hygiene.

quail-a

The Power Of Pink

There was this time at school when this guy didn’t have a calculator and asked the class if anyone had one he could borrow. Someone did and was kind enough to offer it to him. However, when it was revealed that the calculator was pink, the guy refused. He claimed he was offended that this person would try and give him something so girly.

HeWhoEatsBaens

Halloween Grinch

I'm a nurse at a children's hospital and one day I was wearing Mickey Mouse Halloween scrubs that had little dancing skeletons on them. The intention was to get into the Halloween spirit and have some fun. Unfortunately, a visitor of one of my patients didn’t see it that way and complained that I was wearing "scary and inappropriate scrubs."

thatsnotmyname86

Stumped

When I was a child, my mum paid for something with a check. The cashier remarked that my mum had nice handwriting. Out of nowhere, to the surprise of the cashier and myself, my mum flew off the handle and stormed out of the shop in an outrage. I didn’t know what happened then, and to this day, I still have no idea what happened.

mozgw4

It’s OK Not To Be OK

I remember I once got into an argument with someone on the internet because they stated it was offensive for me to not want to have my anxiety and I should be proud of it. No thanks, Becky, I completely disagree. I don’t know about you, but I'd prefer to live my life without the constant feeling that something's going to go wrong.

LozFanXV

A Simple No Would Have Sufficed

One time when I was working the drive-thru at a fast-food restaurant, I had a customer get offended when I asked them, “Would you like to make the burger a meal?” as I do with every customer who doesn’t specify if they want a meal. They screamed about how they already knew what they wanted and couldn’t handle me trying to do my job and upsell them.

EvilChibiFox

Honest To God

Back when I was in grade school, one of my teachers was discussing something, I don't exactly remember the context, and said, "God or a god" in order to be neutral to those with various religious beliefs. That wasn’t good enough for one girl in my class, who got so upset and offended about it that she started bawling and saying how he was being disrespectful towards her beliefs.

Theguy7296

Brother From The Same Mother

I had someone get offended by me calling my brother "bro." They insisted that I was being inappropriate and that white people couldn’t be related to Mexicans. Like, seriously lady? That's not how genetics work. We are 100% related and are a mix of white and Native American. It’s not that unheard of for one biological sibling to come out lighter or darker than the other.

And even if we weren't related, again I ask, seriously? I'm inappropriate for calling someone close to me my bro despite being different skin tones? Seriously? Thank you for coming to my rant session. Have a good day.

WaYaADisi1

It Means What It Means

I was typing in someone's phone number to activate their rewards card. I finished typing it in, found her name, proceeded with the transaction, and said, "You're good to go." The woman replied, "What is that supposed to mean?" and proceeded to give me a fiery glare as if I just personally kicked her toddler across the store.

"It means I found your information. You'll get your points." The woman, "Oh. Okay then." I still can't figure out why she flipped out like that. It was a rewards card, she got her points and she got her discount.

There was this guy at a Halloween party I was at who was dressed in a giant bacon costume. Some girl started yelling at him for being so offensive toward Jews and Muslims…all while being neither Jewish nor Muslim herself. There was a guy at the party who was Muslim and asked her what she was talking about, but she didn't back down.
I have no idea why people feel the need to go out of their way to be offended on behalf of people who…aren’t offended.
WooIWorthWaIIaby

Bacon Off!

There was this guy at a Halloween party I was at who was dressed in a giant bacon costume. Some girl started yelling at him for being so offensive toward Jews and Muslims…all while being neither Jewish nor Muslim herself. There was a guy at the party who was Muslim and asked her what she was talking about, but she didn't back down.

I have no idea why people feel the need to go out of their way to be offended on behalf of people who…aren’t offended.

WooIWorthWaIIaby

Animal Testing

My friends told me about a virtual school board meeting they recently attended on how a return to school was going to work. The students and teachers who would be taking part in the return were jokingly labeled as being “guinea pigs” for the plan. As if the situation wasn’t difficult enough, someone got offended at the use of the term guinea pig, claiming it was inappropriate. That was a new one to me.

funkyb

Don’t Be A Color-ist

Someone once got offended because I used the word black in conversation. Thinking about it still makes me laugh. I was talking about an article of clothing and how it was the color black. They tried to make it into something about race, and that I shouldn't use the term black anymore, and should say African-American. I said that makes no sense as I'm literally talking about the color black.

Am I supposed to say I'm wearing an African-American colored shirt? Maybe I'm crazy but I think that's actually offensive.

ShrimpSandwichYYC

Context Is Important

I used to work in tech support back during the dot com boom and one of my customers got upset with me over the use of the word “icon.” According to him, the word icon had religious implications regardless of the context it was being used in. He insisted that instead of calling them Windows icons, I called them “little picture things.”

Datapower

To Whom It May Concern

I was in a store once in Moab, UT when a woman started yelling directly at me that she'd never buy a shirt that says Moab on it because in the bible Moab was apparently a terrible, sinful place. I ended up just standing there blinking at her until she finally wandered away because I couldn't figure out why she was even there then. That wasn’t even the most ridiculous part.

For one, I wasn’t even an employee or had anything to do with the store we were in. Literally, no one had asked her if she wanted one, and I wanted nothing to do with the interaction that was occurring.

goat_puree

Eye Can’t Stand The Sight Of That

We have an organization-wide theme every year and all the PCs on our network have the same background and theme which can't be changed. This year's theme was, "Vision is 2020" and the background was a zoomed-in picture of an eye in really awesome colors. Two women on staff wrote letters to complain about the picture.

They claimed that the picture was "heathen" as it drew from "Illuminati" imagery and paid tribute to the "all-seeing eye of Eqyptian deities." They whined and complained to such an extent that the picture was eventually changed to shut them up and let the normal folks get back to our actual work. And that is why we can’t have nice things.

dead_PROcrastinator

One And The Same

My ex-husband once got offended by a sandwich. I kid you not. He was given a sandwich by our then 13-year-old daughter and because she cut the sandwich in half he went off on a massive tangent about how his sandwiches should never be cut, etc. She was crushed. It still winds me up to no end every time I think about it.

tootasty1

Passenger Blame

An ex of mine once flew into a shrieking rage because while he was driving, someone swerved or did something surprising and I gasped out loud. Apparently, that meant that I didn't trust him and our entire relationship was in question. The amount of rage for the level of infraction was, well, upsetting, to say the least.

For those suggesting I was actually overreacting and being the annoying one, he was a terrible, aggressive driver, and we lived in Boston. I'm reminded of the time he reversed the car out of a spot by turning the wheel sharply and gunning the engine, smashing the entire side of the car into the concrete pillar next to the parking spot.

That was my fault too for not warning him that he was going to hit the pillar. I also gasped that time, despite being warned that gasping was a sign of distrust in the relationship.

Khayeth

Over His Head

I managed a small, new team that had no procedures or policies, so I set about instituting some. I jokingly told them, "I mean, you never know, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and then no one would know how to process these requests.” I then asked for their feedback and for them to write up how they did their tasks.

We would then come back together and decide the best practices moving forward in a future meeting. This little man filed a complaint to the manager for my use of "violent imagery" and said that he felt threatened. It was a whole thing—but it came back to bite him. Ultimately, he got fired. He was a horrible employee with real issues towards having a woman in charge.

Mamapalooza

Family Matters

In my counseling program, we are currently going through assessments and revising them. One portion of the assessment asks about family members and what the client’s relationship with them is like. One of my classmates got upset and insisted we remove that section because having a family is a sign of privilege and it’s triggering.

Beign_yay

Guess What’s For Dinner

At my wedding, we marked the vegetarian items as vegetarian. This made the one vegetarian at my wedding, who happened to be the sister-in-law who hates me, fly into a catatonic rage because we are singling out the vegetarian food as vegetarian and not treating it as normal food. How else are they supposed to know it's vegetarian?

ooo-ooo-oooyea

Candy Cane And Abel

I had a pastor that insisted we call candy canes "Jesus sticks" because Christmas is all about Jesus. Well, when I was seven, I accidentally referred to the Holy Jesus Stick as a candy cane in his presence. I swear to you, he rushed over to my dad to tell on me and carry on about how offensive it is to see the world trying to remove Christ from Christmas.

My dad asked him if he was serious and then told him to grow up. Then, to rub it in, my dad took it one hilarious step further. He dressed up as Santa a couple of weeks later, and came into the church yelling "Ho! Ho! Ho! Candy canes for everyone!" and passed the satanic candy canes to all the little children during the service. The pettiness runs deep in our family.

MamieJoJackson

Take A Step Back

My ex and I were looking at houses and brought his dad—let's call him Dave—to see some of them. At one of the houses, apparently, the real estate agent didn't spend enough time agreeing with Dave about how the bottom step was too tall. Later that night, I got an hour-long lecture from Dave about how the agent was a terrible person that was trying to take advantage of us.

I'm single now…and Dave here was definitely a contributing factor.

DaughterEarth

Fanning The Flames

At my job, we often move around from desk to desk. One guy left his desk with a small fan, and my desk neighbor would point the fan at his desk. One day, a new employee came and sat at the desk with the fan, and rearranged everything to her liking. After she went home that night, my neighbor pointed the fan back at his desk.

When she came in the following day, she saw the fan was pointed away from her chair. She loudly asked the room if someone had been interfering with her workspace. My desk neighbor apologized and took responsibility for it, but reminded her that it was not her fan as it belonged to the former desk occupant. She went ballistic.

My desk neighbor was disrespecting her and her space and creating a hostile environment. She went immediately to the floor supervisor and demanded a new seating assignment. When she packed up her desk she took the fan with her. She eventually got a seat alone in a quiet private space, so that worked out nicely for her.

14FunctionImp

Not All Men’s Best Friend

An old man got deeply offended when my friend and I were walking her dog off-leash…in an off-leash dog park. He was riding his bike, which isn't even allowed, and was screaming at us about how disrespectful we were being. Another time, we got yelled at by a different old man for "not cleaning up after that dog." She had peed on the grass.

Old boomer men get offended constantly by her and her dog just existing near them. She moved away but sends me stories every now and then because it happens all the time. Her dog is a well-behaved golden retriever straight from a family movie from the 90s, and she is a young professional adult who keeps to herself. I don't understand it.

eyebrowshampoo

Mind Your Manners

I used to work at a buffet pizza place years ago. One time, after checking out a lady who was probably in her 40s, I said: "Thank you ma’am." She lost her mind and said I was calling her old. I tried to explain that I was born and raised in the Deep South—Louisiana—and that is how we talk there, but she wasn't having it.

She asked for the manager. When he came out, she explained the situation to him, to which he replied by telling her to GTFO and never come back.

Harbenger

Help Not Wanted

I want to start this off by saying that when this situation occurred I was going blind. So I had some vision but required the use of a white-tipped cane. Anyway, I am on campus one day and leaving a building when I spot a man in a wheelchair coming up behind me. He had a squeaky wheel so I noticed the noise and looked back.

This man had a backpack and some stuff in his lap, so when I went through the door I held it open for him. I was just being a nice guy and helping out a random person. That is where I screwed up. He stopped, looked at me, and started yelling that he didn't need my help or my pity, and that I was only holding the door because he is disabled.

I waggled my cane at him and said, "I am disabled as well. I was only trying to be nice and open the door for you like I would for anybody. It’s not because you are disabled. I’m not going to slam the door in your face because you’re disabled either, I’m going to because you’re a jerk,” and I did. I never thought someone would get upset with me opening the door for them.

Rokwind

Ewe Got to Be Kidding?

A customer used to get extremely riled up if we asked, "How are you?" or "Would you like a bag with that?" Really anything with the word "you". The alternative was mind-blowingly ridiculous. Instead, we had to say, "How is yourself today?" or "Would yourself like a bag with that?" Otherwise, she'd get super offended and scream, "I’m not a female sheep!" Referring to "ewe" as opposed to "you".

leeshylou

Out Of Left Field

My dad and stepmom got offended for some reason when I said, "Online school makes my behind hurt from sitting for six hours straight. This is worse than when I was working 70 hours a week." I was pretty confused when a few minutes later my stepmom said, "You should appreciate what your dad does to pay the bills." I never said anything about their jobs.

Rocket---Man

Bargain Hunter

I was at my mom's apartment one morning and my mom and little brother were asking me if the laptop on the floor was mine. All I said was, "No, mine's a little bigger." My mom proceeded to lecture me on being rude and all that good stuff. She was all like, " You didn't have to say that. That was mean. You don't have to brag about having a better laptop.”

She continued by saying how some people don't have enough money for a laptop like mine. I just looked at her, then told her that I got my large, touchscreen, 17-inch Dell laptop for under 20 bucks.

The_Cavalry084

Anything Is Better Than Nothing

A cashier once got offended that my child called me by my first name. Actually, it happened a few times when he was growing up but this cashier stands out the most. My son is autistic and was delayed in his speech but he started calling me by my first name instead of mom around the age of 4 or 5. I think it's because he heard everyone else call me by my first name.

I honestly didn't care if he used my first name, a nickname, mom, mommy or whatever, as long as he talked, and that's what I told the cashier.

SaucySweatpants

There’s Always Another Option

My name and contact details went on the cover letter for a newsletter that went to 19,000 tenants. A sight-impaired lady, who I'd met a few weeks before, complained that the copy she was sent did not take her visual impairment into consideration and that I was breaking the law. She had some special requirements, a specific font, and size, no italics, etc.

I offered her the choice of me sending her the newsletter as it is, pics and all, but blown up to A3 size to make it easier, or I could copy the text into her specific requirements, but without the pictures. I could not do both. I specifically told her if she chose option A, I could not guarantee that the text would meet her needs.

She chose the first option, so I managed to get our print guys to do one copy at A3 size. I delivered it by hand the same day she asked for the copy. The very next day, at 9:02 am, she made an official complaint against me, claiming the text in the version I'd posted did not meet her needs and she was unable to read it.

SparkieMark1977

Get It Yourself

I used to work at a bookstore. One of my coworkers was helping a customer who wanted a book from the top shelf of a very high section. The co-worker is 4'11" tall, the customer is maybe 5'2" tall, and the nearest stepstool is God knows where. I'm 5'10" tall and was nearby, so my coworker waved me over for help and pointed out the book.

I plucked it off the shelf and handed it to the customer with a polite and casual "Here you are ma'am" type of smile. No big deal, right? Wrong. The customer exploded. Apparently, it was completely unfair that I was so tall and could reach the book easily, and clearly, I was mocking her. She went to my manager to complain and left quickly after that.

ObsessiveAboutCats

Art Attack

For the final project in my high school art class, we had to do a report on an artist and then make a piece based on their work. I can't remember who I chose, but my project was Minecraft Pixel Art. I spent a long time working on it at home and at school. The teacher and nearly everyone loved my work, except for one student.

She was angry that I was using a computer in class because it insults the artist I am working off of. She tried to delete my world when I went to the bathroom, but a friend of mine stopped her and she got in trouble. Her mom later complained to our principal that I started it, because art is meant to be canvas and paint, not computers.

Hawkman67

ETA Is Not OK

I work in customer service and have dealt with a number of people who got super offended for very little reason. I help with roadside assistance, service calls for equipment repair, product Q&A, placing orders, and minor tech support, all for different brands. One roadside assistance call was from this guy who was on the side of the expressway with a flat tire.

He had a spare tire but no jack, so I dispatched the call and told him help would be there as soon as possible. He asked for the time they'd arrive, which is a common question. I can't provide an exact time, only an estimate, and most of the time when I tell people that, they accept that information, and thank me for the help.

Not this guy. He demanded an exact time as to when help would arrive. Insert story here on how he's an important person with things to do, followed by how we're "not a real company" if we don't give him an exact time of arrival to change his tire. I verbally slapped him out of his story, which I’m allowed to do thanks to my job protocols.

I told him I've done this work for a decade and can't tell him anything like, "They'll be there in 4 minutes and 13 seconds" because it will be wrong. I reiterated that help will be there as soon as possible, then released the call. There’s no sense in me entertaining this offended guy, who's already got help on the way, when I've got other people still waiting to call for help.

Hguols

Gimme, Gimme Sometimes Gets

I went to Walmart the other day and had to wait in line for a cart because there were none available. As I waited, a line formed behind me, with most notably a 6’5” tall man near the back. Eventually, some carts came out but you have to wait for them to be cleaned before you can get one. Apparently, the tall man didn’t get the memo.

He pushed past myself and a woman to grab the first cart. He got stopped by a worker who politely asked him to hold on a second so he can sanitize the cart. The tall man got in the worker’s face and started cussing him out. He snatched the cart, pushed past us, and started screaming, "You don't know who you're talking to little man," as he walked down an aisle.

The worker handled the situation very well, but he was scared just as much as we were. I never knew a couple of extra seconds for your own benefit could annoy someone so much.

Hour_Cricket2497

Mind Read The Room Next Time

I told a really cheesy joke at work once. Something along the lines of, "this kid was a pirate for Halloween, and some lady who answered the door said where are your buccaneers, and the kid said under my buckin' hat, lady.” Well, this perpetually angry woman at work told me it was offensive to her, because her mother had deformed ears.

She was legitimately serious, acting like I should have known that about her mom. On top of that, my dumb joke had nothing to do with ear deformities. She also got offended that some older guy that everyone loved called women, "Tootsie" or "Toots" sometimes. It doesn’t end there. She was also offended by the image on the box of Skinny Cow Ice Cream.

MagicSchoolBusLady

Look It Up

Last week at work, one of my co-workers made a slight mistake that affected another area of the department. The girl who found the mistake came to me demanding that I fix it and complained that she always had to fix mistakes from our area and she was sick of it. I listened to her badger on while I fixed the error, until I couldn’t take it anymore.

I sighed and said, rather level-headedly, "Thank you, I'll get to the bottom of it. I appreciate your diligence." She literally screamed at me and went to go get our manager, insisting that I was "mocking her with words she did not understand." I later found out that she thought that diligence was a fancy word for smarty pants.

Outside_Long

Speaker Up

I used to work at a drive-thru and lost count of the number of people who got super angry at me when I didn't hear what they said. All I would say was, "I'm so sorry, could you repeat that one more time? I didn't quite catch that" and the next thing you know they are blowing up about how "you never understand what I'm saying every time I'm here! I'm never coming here again!"

I don’t know, maybe just repeat it once more so I can punch it in? Why do you have to get so mad?

greenbluefridge

Too Many Words

In French, we have a way to address a man—Monsieur—a married woman—Madame—an unmarried woman—Mademoiselle—and we use to have one for an unmarried man—Mondamoiseau—which disappeared from official paperwork ages and ages ago. In the name of gender equality, mademoiselle was also removed a few years ago from official paperwork.

Also in the name of gender equality, some employees were told to not call young women mademoiselle anymore and to go with madame instead. So the trick is that some women will get offended when called madame, because it makes them feel old…and some women will get offended when called mademoiselle, because it is considered inappropriate.

chinchenping

Don’t Be Greedy

I worked in a clothing store that would occasionally send out $10 and $25 coupons to people. For obvious reasons, you can only use them once, so we were told to rip them up and throw them away after scanning them. The anger that would fill the old ladies’ faces when I ripped that coupon in half and threw it in the garbage after scanning it was scary.

Once, a customer angrily demanded that I give her the coupon back so she could use it again, so I scribbled on it with a black sharpie and gave it to her with a “have a nice day.” I really shouldn’t be in customer service.

walrus_kitten

No Shirt, Sherlock!

I was at the shop with my seven-month-old and he was wearing an adorable shirt that had a rocket ship and the NASA logo on it. We were minding our own business when some middle-aged woman in the shop came up to me out of nowhere and said, “He shouldn’t be wearing that because he’s clearly not an astronaut.” I was dumbfounded.

ubbidubbi55

There’s A Time And A Place

I had a coworker who got mad at me because I asked her not to tickle me. The coworker was very young and immature. This was her first job, her first time in a professional environment, and she really had no clue about professional workplace behavior. I wasn't upset, because she truly thought she was being friendly.

However, I pointed out that we were not children, we were not in a relationship, we were not family, it was very inappropriate to do that at work, and most importantly, I don’t like being tickled! I know she was young, but I couldn’t believe her reaction. She flipped out and said everyone likes being tickled and I was being mean to her. Thankfully, my boss had my back. I should also mention that I’m a woman, too.

xelle24

Do You Have Any Grey Poupon?

My sister's marriage began its demise over mustard. She was offended that French's Yellow Mustard was in the fridge instead of something organic. She didn't want their infant son growing up with yellow mustard in the house. That argument was the beginning of the end. My poor brother-in-law couldn't even eat a sandwich without getting blasted from her.

curtainrod_xthousand

This Ship Has Sailed

This is a conversation I had with one customer trying to buy something online. “Hello, I made an online order and I see that you've charged me the shipping cost twice.” “Hmm, that's weird, let me check. No, I see that it's the right amount, sir.” “You’re wrong, I've made two orders and I've already paid the shipping cost for the first one. I shouldn't have to pay twice.”

“Oh, I see! You've made two orders, sure, we can make it one package and only charge you once for the shipping, but can you tell me the order numbers for your orders, because the system shows me that you've only placed one today.” This is where it unraveled.“Yeah, the second one was not placed today.” “When was it placed, sir?”

“I don't know, like three or four months ago, but still, I've paid for the shipping cost before. Why would I have to pay again?”

Baator

The Price Of Ignorance

This is a dialogue I had to have with a grown adult. It was a man who was looking to purchase a shirt in our store. He pointed at the price tag on a shirt and said, "Excuse me, what do these numbers represent? I said, "The numbers right after the dollar sign?" He said, "Yes.” "That's the price of the shirt." "Oh, I see! Thank you!" At least he was friendly.

Elevenfish

The Usual Suspects

During high school, I worked at a grocery store that also offered home delivery. Several times daily, I would have people calling in to ask for “the usual.” It was a fairly small store so we didn't have any systems to keep a history on customers, so we had to ask for their address as well. Half the time they would refuse to give it because "it's in the system."

TiberPetersen

Sense Of Entitlement

I worked at a college and had conversations with helicopter parents that went like this: The parent would ask, “Can you look up the transactions on my child’s account and send them to me?” “Nope.” “Why not?” “Because your child is an adult and we protect their privacy.” Their response was always unsettling. “I’m their parent. They don’t need privacy from me!”

“That’s between you and your child. The laws protect their privacy from everyone, including their parent.” “I’m their guardian and entitled to this information!” “Without a court order, 18-year-olds (or 22-year-olds for that matter) do not require guardians.” “I’m going to report this to the Dean!” “Please do, as it will let them know I’m doing my job.”

Zazenp

Novel Expectations

I had a woman one time use our computers to place a hold on a book that was on the shelf at another library, then come to the desk five minutes later to ask for it. I had to explain to her that the books don't just magically appear from other libraries, they get driven over after the holds get pulled. She seemed genuinely confused that someone wouldn't drive it over right away.

notyourstar15

Idea Doesn’t Mix

I worked as a waitress for eight years. I had a patron order a salad with oil and vinegar as the dressing. I brought the salad to the table and asked if anyone needed anything else. Everyone was happy and I went on my way. A couple of minutes later, I got that hand signal “Please get over here” style. I come over and ask how everything is going. That's when I heard the dumbest question of my life.

No joke, my patron asked me why the oil and vinegar weren’t mixing. I did my best to explain the reason why oil and vinegar hate each other. But she wasn’t having it. She told me she’s had oil and vinegar dressing mix before at other restaurants. I explained that there was likely a bonding agent in the dressing and it was not just oil and vinegar at those other restaurants.

She just looked at me. I then asked if she wanted a different mixed dressing. She said she would be happy with the dressing she ordered, she just wanted to know why it wasn’t mixing.

Yourfeelingsareneat

Naughty List

Here are just a few examples I had to deal with while working at a hardware store customer service desk: If you wish to return an item you must present the item and your receipt. I cannot process a refund if you have neither. No, we do not sell asbestos. No, I cannot order some in for you. When water boils, it does indeed produce "bubbles."

So if the water is bubbling once it reaches temperature, your kettle is working properly. Zip ties are not simply "disposable handcuffs." They can be used for other purposes and it should not be concerning nor surprising that a hardware store sells them.

CrashCoplee

Burst Your Bubble

My first job at 16 was at Party City. One day, I'm blowing up balloons at the balloon counter and a lady comes up to buy some latex balloons. I asked if she wants us to fill them and she said no, she'd do it at home. Making small talk, I remarked that she must have one of the Party Time helium tanks at home. Her reply made my jaw drop to the floor.

She said, "No, I blow them up with my mouth. You just put the string on them and they float!" I do the multiple blinks, trying to work out in my head what she's just said. She fully believed she could blow up the balloons with her mouth and the magic was...attaching a string. I tried to give this woman an impromptu chemistry lesson. She insisted. I still think about that magic woman to this day.

LadyBearJenna

A Cocktail Of Absurdity

Here are a few favorites as a bartender: A drink is a liquid, and it’s a bad idea to shake it around. Yes, the "This is a smoke-free area" sign also applies to people who are addicted. Yes, the people on the tables around you are inebriated. No, I'm not going to kick them out. Seriously, what were they expecting when entering a bar at 2:00 am?

You still have to pay for the entire meal even though you only ate half of it, especially if you asked us to pack the other half to take home. No, you're not allowed to test our beverage menu by taking a shot...unless you buy a shot. Exposure doesn’t pay my bills. Your kid is not going to get adult beverages from me, I don't care that it's his birthday.

No, we're not running a smuggling business in the back, you just watch too many movies. Also, did you believe that I'd tell you if it were the case? No, you can't pay in some weird cryptocurrency here. I don't know you are a "regular." You've been here twice, and one of those times I wasn't even working.

JuFo2027

No Connection

Clear your schedule, put on a pot of coffee, and make yourself comfortable—I am about to tell you the story of, hands down, the most idiotic customer I have ever seen in 10 years of working retail. A very grumpy high-society woman came to the store saying her brand new 3,000-dollar Microsoft surface bought by her husband was defective because she could not get internet when she was on the move. I quickly realized she was talking about Wi-Fi, so I tried explaining to her how Wi-Fi actually works. Boy, was that a mistake!

I told her that she could not use her Wi-Fi outside her house, but that she could share her smartphone internet connection. She would have none of it. She said I was lying to her and making fun of her. She even asked to speak to my manager, who then proceeded to tell her the exact same thing, almost to the word. She left screaming.

NeededMonster

Moms Who Need To Change

I’ve had to tell a restaurant customer that you can’t change your baby on an unoccupied table. Would you take a dump on a restaurant's table? No, so why should it be any different for your baby? Poop is poop and that is a health code violation to be around food, not to mention people eating in a restaurant don't want to smell poop while they're eating.

Lady, that's what the bathroom is for! Why are some parents so disgusting and inconsiderate?

AdventurousYak9234

A Penny For Your Thoughtlessness

I used to work at Aaron Brothers, and they had a famous buy a frame, get another for a penny sale. People would try to return one frame, which isn’t allowed because then you’re getting one frame for a penny. You have to return both frames. Seeing the blank stare of confusion as I explained that to people was always entertaining.

Aleighslo

Melting Away

I had to explain that if you order ice cream for four people on a hot summer day, but the four people are still like 30 minutes away, said ice cream is going to melt before the four people get there. And no, that is not my fault.

Mandaman1608

Father Knows Best

Years ago, I worked in student housing at a university and had to explain to a father, for well over an hour, that I could not make sure that his daughter was in her room by 8:00 pm and ensure that she never spoke to boys.

Kor_hookmaster

Diaper Training

I worked at a CVS in high school. Many weirdos shop at CVS, but the weirdest among them were the ones who bought diapers and then asked me if I knew how to put them on a baby. Maybe it’s just my personal opinion, but if you’re at the point in your life where you have to buy diapers and put them on a baby, you should’ve figured this out from someone other than the teenager at the cash register.

DanHam117

Doesn’t Have A Hot Clue

I worked at a coffee shop and a woman came in saying that the mug she bought is defective. I ask what is wrong and she goes, “It says it's microwave and dishwasher safe. I put it in the microwave to heat it and it got hot!” I explained that the text on the mug means it can be used in a microwave without breaking...but that anything placed in a microwave will still get hot.

She maintained, “Well, then it's not safe.”

BronchialChunk

Clueless Customer

As a pharmacist, this is a conversation I’ve had with a customer: “I’d like some OxyContin.” “Okay, sure. Who’s your prescribing physician?” “My what?” “Sorry, who’s the doctor that told you needed OxyContin?” “Oh, there wasn’t one.” “Uh. Okay. Do...do you have a prescription?” “No.” “So. You just want some OxyContin?” “Duh. Is there someone smarter than you working?” “Next!”

RelativeQuarter

Door Jam

A client bought a car from our dealership and called two days later to say that the back doors were not opening from the inside. I knew exactly what the problem was. I asked him specifically if the child lock was on, but he denied it. He brought the vehicle back to us and one of our salespeople opened the door and deactivated the child lock while getting in.

He opened the door and the client’s mind was blown that the door was suddenly opening.

Usagii96

Skin Deep

We sell organic skincare where I work. A client called saying the seal on her moisturizer she just bought came off too easily and she wanted to return it. I asked her to bring it in so we could exchange it for her. When I checked her product, there was a straight-up finger-shaped hole in the foam seal. When I asked her about it, she said it happened after the fact.

Sure. I told her I would happily exchange it. She didn't seem thrilled but didn't say anything. At this point, I figured it was a case of buyer's remorse and she wanted a refund but was blaming the seal. So I hand her a fresh product. She takes it out of the box in front of me, saying she just wants to check the seal. She proceeds to pull up on the edges of the seal hard enough until it pops off.

She stares at me, I stare at her. She tells me, "See, this one is unsealed too." I told her, "Nope, that one was sealed. That’s an acceptable seal so the product should be just fine for you. Enjoy your day!" She didn't come back, but I put notes on her account in case she called the head company to complain about the so-called "seal" problem.

MissAcedia

Forgot Your Password?

As an IT guy, I once spent 56 minutes on a password reset call with a dude who just could not get it. The new password requirements were simply beyond the limits of his comprehension. Over and over, around and around, we went through the process. I must have reset him half a dozen times. I didn't think it could get worse, but it did.

Finally, after I had long since made peace with the idea of getting fired for simply hanging up on this dude, he exclaims, "Wait a minute! Is that number supposed to be a lowercase or an uppercase one?”

Badly_behaved

Weather Or Not

I worked as a server at a higher-end steakhouse that had a beautiful patio. I was working a lunch shift on a day that was completely overcast, and it looked like it could start pouring rain any minute. Because of this, we didn’t “open up” the patio. The patio always had tables and chairs, but we didn’t open any umbrellas or set any tables.

A lady came in and asked for a seat on the patio, weird due to the weather but whatever. I walked her out to the patio and set up a table for her, and as I was walking away she asked if she could sit in a sunnier spot. None of the umbrellas were open, and there were no sunny spots because the sun was not out. I just looked at her and told her she could have her pick of any of the tables.

She looked around and it finally dawned on her that this was not patio weather. Years later, and I’m still not sure if she thought I had some magical weather powers or if she thought if she just wanted it to be sunny strongly enough, it would be.

Eelzelton

Best Before

My co-worker and I work at a deli. One day, a customer came up to them asking why their meat smelled weird. My co-worker asked, “How long have you had it?” and then the customer said, “A few months, why?” The dude never even knew that expiration dates existed. He said that his ex-wife always prepared food for him and he has never cooked for himself.

He pointed at various other foods and asked if they had expiration dates too, so my co-worker had to explain that each food had a different lifespan.

Ksaucyt

A Cut Above

A customer in our store cut up a shirt because she couldn’t get it off. She pulled scissors out of her bag and cut up the sleeve and down the side, handed it back to me, and walked off. I called after her and said, “Ma’am, you have to pay for this.” What she said next blew my mind. She said she didn't want it because it was damaged.

I then explained to her that as she was the one who damaged it, and that we can’t sell it, that she has to pay. She just looked at me and said “Well, can’t you just sew it back up?” No, that’s not how it works, lady. In the end, I contacted security and a store manager and she ended up paying for the shirt, which was $160 (it was a rather pricey brand).

Millie1419

Closed Minded

So many times I'll be at work preparing to open before we open, and a customer will walk up and yank on the door without even looking and then stand back in confusion. Then I watch them read the sign that says we're closed and then inspect the sign with our hours that clearly says we don't open for another half hour, and then they start rattling the door and waving at me.

If I have to open the door and tell them to their faces that we aren't open yet, they usually just say "Oh." What is the thought process? What is going on?

TheReverendsRequest

Please Be Specific

Back in the late 90s, I was working retail at a dollar store. One fellow came up to me and asked, and I kid you not, "Do you have the thing with the thing that comes out?" I gave him a second to see if he would realize what he had said and provide some detail. After a beat or two, I said, "I'm sorry, sir, you will have to be a bit more specific. What thing are you looking for?"

He made hand gestures, almost as if he were pulling open a door or something, and said, "You know...one of those things with the thing that comes out." Managing not to lose my temper, I said, "Sir...What does the thing do?" He said, "It makes coffee." I said, "Are you asking if we have coffee makers that have filter baskets that can be pulled completely out?"

"Yes," he said. I replied, "No, sir, we don't have the thing with the thing that comes out, we only have the thing with the thing that swivels out. Sorry." Later, he came up to me. He held up a box of 35-gallon trash bags. He asked me, "Will these fit in that?" and he pointed at a trash can that was marked, "50 Gallons." I said, "No, sir."

He asked, "Why not?" I said, "Because that is a fifty-gallon trash can, and those are thirty-five-gallon bags." He looked at me blankly for a moment. I added, "Thirty-five is less than fifty." "Ah," he said, nodding sagely.

Daneelthesane

Weak Signals

I have had to explain to a shocking number of people that cellular signals can be blocked by structures and garages and that large buildings are well known for blocking cellular signals. I have also had to explain to a shocking number of people that battery life will vary based on usage. It will drain faster while you use it and slower while it's doing nothing.

And even more surprising is that I have to explain signal performance to people who lived through having to step outside to make a call because there was no signal inside.

Trainguyrom

Caught In A Jam

I used to work in a pancake restaurant. One day I was serving a customer, and he didn't even bother to read the menu. He asked for pancakes with some specific jam. I told him that we do not have that jam on the menu. His answer was eyebrow-raising. He said that I should go to the nearby shop and get some for him because he doesn't want to eat pancakes with anything else.

Yes, I needed to explain to an adult man that that's not how restaurants work.

Cxxnss

Comical Explanation

I worked in a coffee-shop/bookstore. We specialized in manga and comic books, and you could either buy them or take a drink and read for as long as you wanted. Like, we didn't have any restrictions; you could read for eight hours by buying a coffee. However, I still had to explain multiple times a day that yes, you must order and pay for a drink if you want to sit and read.

There was a good library where you could go to read for free, but we were a business and needed to make money. I've had people insulting me because of this.

Grog_Bear

Making A Case

I worked at an electronics store, and some lady came in to buy a charging case for her iPhone. The case has a battery that can charge your phone a couple of times. Well, she was asking what the cable inside the box was for, which was a micro USB cable. I explained that it's to charge the battery in the case. She didn't understand.

I explained that the case has a battery in it and that you need to charge up that battery. Then, your phone goes in the case and if your phone battery is low and you are out and about, you can turn on the case and it'll recharge your phone. It has enough battery capacity to charge your phone usually once. There was a long pause as I anticipated what she would say next.

She goes, "Wait so you have to charge up the case?" I say, "Yeah." She responds "Oh well, that's stupid.” So I ask, "What's stupid about that?" She says, "Well that's stupid that you have to charge it, you shouldn't need to do that." So I say: "Ma'am, if the manufacturer figured out the global solution for unlimited electricity I don't think they'd be selling phone cases."

She gave me a super-angry expression, you know the one where she thinks she's still right and stormed off.

HughJa55ole

A Server’s Regret

I’ll always regret that I made my manager do this because I honestly didn’t know what to do. An old woman came in, she didn’t look too old, probably in her early 70s, and she comes in with her daughter and grandkids. I seat them at the only open section with the only waitress who is on at the moment. That waitress happens to be Black.

After I seat them with her a few minutes later, the old lady comes up to me and asks for a non-Black waitress. As a teen, I had no clue what to do and just got my manager. Now I wish I told her how awful she was.

Bulbipicg

Smoke Signals

I had to explain to a customer that toilet paper rolls shouldn't be returned to a store because it was not a decent thing to do. Oh, but it got grosser. She had used them all. I also had to explain to this same woman that the disabled staff member who couldn't talk didn't intend to scare or offend her by making noises at her and smiling.

Nikkinicole57

Key Conspiracy

I live in France. Here we use AZERTY keyboards instead of QWERTY. That's just how it is and it's been like that for decades. I had to explain to some foreign dude that no, unfortunately, we did not have any QWERTY keyboards in stock, but he could order one online and that no, it wasn't a conspiracy. He started shouting in the store that this was an attack on human rights and brainwashing.

NeededMonster

That’s A Stretch

I had to explain to an adult woman that the rubber bands that were accidentally left on her lobster's claws were indeed not edible. I had assured her that they were safe for the food, you just couldn’t eat them. Not a minute later, I was called back after she attempted to eat said bands. Her teenage child just stared at her like she had three heads.

IT_Chef

Future Karen?

I worked furniture retail over 20 years ago before we had a name for "Karen," but they certainly existed. I had to explain, slowly like I was talking to a child, to a grown woman that she could not return her glass-top patio table that she left out all winter. The glass top was smashed, swept up, and put into a box that was now in front of me.

She couldn't fathom why I was saying no. She had kids with her watching this behavior. Future Karens.

Digital_hero

On Thin Ice

I teach kids to ice skate. Parents are asked out of the rink once the kids are ready. A parent of a two-year-old insists that they cannot leave their child alone. I explained that the coaches are here to help and look after the child, but the parent just kept repeating, “I will not be leaving him, he is unable to walk.”

Come on! Why do you sign up your two-year-old for skating if your child is unable to walk on normal land, let alone with skates on? I didn’t think I’d have to have this conversation with an adult. Multiple times.

muffy32345

Loonies, No Greenbacks

That this is Canada and we do not take US cash in exchange for goods at our store, despite being a US-based multinational brand. I never thought someone would scream so hard and so close to my face that my hair blew back. It was a surprising exchange that I still think about 15 years later. Ma'am, we are a different country entirely.

Hotnovembernight

“Don’t Throw A Fit”

That when I tell you we are out of stock, it means there is zero inventory. There isn’t some magical special inventory we keep for special customers who complain and dance around the subject. No matter how much you try to weasel it out of me, we don’t have it! So tired of having to explain to adults, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.

Consistent_Foot_6657

Bad Vibes

While I worked at Wal-Mart, a middle-aged couple danced around me in the aisle I was stocking for a good five minutes before the guy just straight-up asked me where he could find the batteries for his vibrator. His wife was hiding around the corner. I calmly asked, well what kind of batteries does it take? He looked at me with shame and told me he didn't know.

I then asked if they had brought the vibrator with them so we could take the batteries out to see. For my sake, they hadn't brought it in with them. I suggested they go home and open it and find out what kind it needed. I also suggested maybe a hearing aid battery or watch battery because I had never used a vibrator before and didn't know what they needed.

They went away yelling at each other for not opening it up to see what it needed.

SirenSuzeB

Mean Business

Too many times I need to explain the basics of business to grown adults. For example, to process a return, you need either the receipt or the physical product with you. Realistically, you should have both. If it’s just the receipt, you could have just kept the “defective” item. If it’s just the item, you could have stolen it or bought an identical thing at a cheaper retailer.

Most stores are fairly lenient with this because they don’t want trouble, and most customers are at least 60% honest. You can’t just go up to a register and say, “I bought some produce here and they went bad too fast. I don’t know what they’re called or how much I paid, I want a refund.” Beyond that, people think that the absolute basics of a business are a “scam” when they first start figuring out that what we charge for items is more than what we pay the farmer or factory or artist.

When customers at stores or restaurants “do the math” themselves, they are constantly thinking things like, “I can make this dish for $5 at home if I also use my existing pantry staples, why is it $22 at the fancy gastropub?” or “I can get yarn at JoAnn’s for $7, why does this sweater cost $40?” They usually come to the extremely wrong conclusion “You just want to make money!”

Yeah, we do. In addition to the 900 other things that create higher costs for consumer goods other than raw materials, yes, businesses want to make a profit. And it’s impossible to explain that to an infuriated customer in a polite way. Once a customer starts saying that “big businesses only want to make money,” the only way to answer their questions is both involved and extremely condescending. Turns out the response is not to answer their concerns at all.

TerribleAttitude

Taking The Temperature

I never thought anybody would need to be told “Yes, the ice cream cake, made only of ice cream, has to be kept in the freezer. No, the refrigerator won’t suffice. It will melt.” This has happened many times over the years.

Fowlron

When Pigs, And Buffalo, Fly

No madam, the buffalo wings are not real buffalo.

Allgoodcretins

In A Puddle

A customer once stood in a puddle that was outside our store and asked me what I was going to do about it. I had to explain to him that I do not control the weather and I can’t make it stop raining or get rid of the puddle.

Parezcounapina

Top Three

Here are my top three retail experiences: 1) Yes, the can of Crisco has a picture of crispy fried chicken on it. No, the can does not contain crispy fried chicken. 2) No, birth control pills are not 100% effective. This was explained to a woman quite near her delivery. And 3) No, we don't have fans that only blow cold air. I'm sure I could come up with lots more, but these are the first three that come to mind.

FeralBottleofMtDew

Sob Story

In a couple of different lines of business, I've had women start to give me the "I'm a single mom" sob story. I have the perfect response. I say enthusiastically "I am, too!" and you can see the wind go right out of their sails. Yeah, I'm not going to cut them a deal out of pity.

Announcerkitty

Tough To Swallow

I once picked up my prescription for an anti-emetic and the pharmacist gave me suppositories. My prescription was for pills. The pharmacist insisted that's what my doctor ordered. I pointed to the label that specified to take one by mouth every four hours as needed. She still insisted she was correct and my doctor intended for me to swallow a suppository every four hours.

Alien_Nicole

Any Port In A Storm

Customer: "The package carrier says they delayed my package due to a hurricane! I paid for overnight shipping! Your company is trash." Me: “Sir, we didn't delay your package. The carrier is a different company. And there is a literal hurricane over the distribution center.”

DraydenFarci

A Pain In The Rear

As a pharmacist, I had to explain to a man that you need to take the suppositories out of their foil packaging before you use them. He complained that they didn't work and were uncomfortable. I bet they were.

EmptyPomoc

No Book Smarts

No, the library does not stock every book in existence.

Okorela

“What the…?”

I worked at the airport and someone wanted to go through TSA with a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola. I calmly explained that liquids weren’t allowed through security. The man gave the most genuine chuckle I’ve ever heard, and revealed the bizarre truth. He said, “This isn’t Coca-Cola! It’s gasoline!” My coworker beat me to a reaction when he very loudly exclaimed, “What the HECK?”

Pinkhighlight

Life Is A Box Of Chocolates

This conversation ended with a customer throwing a large bag of Lay’s Sour Cream and Onion potato chips at my head. It was a woman who came into the store looking to buy a box of chocolates. But there was one huge problem. She didn’t have any money. So this customer proposed that she take the chocolates now and come back later to pay when she had money.

“Do you expect me to go all the way home and bring back the money?” she asked. I said, “Yes, because other than that it’s called shoplifting and we will call security.” “But I need these,” she pleaded. I just said no. That’s when the chips started flying.

KeeperofAmmut7