People Recount The Most Hurtful Thing Someone's Ever Said To Them
"Reddit user em0gril asked: 'What is the most hurtful thing someone said to you?'"
Words matter.
That is a life truth ignored far too often.
I know emotions can run high.
But we really need to acknowledge how we use language toward one another.
It can have a life long-lasting effect.
Think before you speak. That is one of life's greatest mantras.
Redditor em0gril wanted to hear about the worst things people have ever said to be mean. So they asked:
"What is the most hurtful thing someone said to you?"
Thanks Mom...
Tyler Perry GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"'I don't know what is so special about you.' -My mother after seeing my kids get excited that I was home from work."
Legitimate_Story_333
Gloomy
"My mom, who was always emotionally abusive, get especially bad when I started dating my now husband. This included her telling me she hates me. After months of being her emotional punching bag, my depression was also not doing awesome."
"She got on meds, never apologized, never acknowledged what she said and did. I’d recently lost my job and she said my depression was bringing her down and I should move out. Haven’t spoken to her in years and don’t miss her."
UnihornWhale
No Comps?
"I worked really hard in high school in theatre (still very happy in it over 20 years later). I was accepted to every school I applied and through a donation my high awarded me a scholarship."
"In the glow of pride of this unexpected gift, my mother said in front of everyone 'I can't believe they wasted their money on you.'"
"Guess who DOESN'T get comps to my shows."
azorianmilk
Arrangements
"My daughter died at birth and I almost did too. My father told me that my stepmother was 'Really taking it hard and feels like she doesn’t have a purpose anymore/nothing to live for' because we had planned for her to babysit. She also asked me when I was hospitalized if she can have some of my daughter's ashes for herself. Keep in mind we were never close and I never even lived there."
"I was still extremely sick post-birth and never got to go to the funeral home for arrangements so my dad did. He told me a few years later when I got a potter to make her an urn 'I hope you aren’t getting rid of the one I picked out because I spent a lot of money on it.' My sister also THINKS she had a miscarriage at some point very very early on when she was a teen and told me after I lost my daughter that she has been through worse."
_Jordy_C_
Ruined
"You won't ruin my new family."
"My mom to 13ish-year-old me."
"Jokes on her, she ruined it herself."
plz2meatyu
These are the reasons therapy was invented.
For Me
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"My mom told me when I was 5 that I was not wanted. Now it took me 15 years to actually stop trying to please and finally live for myself."
Leather-Spite-556
Look at Me
"When my father looked at me and said he was glad I knew that I wasn't his, and he didn't have to be my Dad anymore. My mom was a habitual cheater. She had an affair with my Dad's sister's husband (my non-bio Uncle on my Dad's side). If you like the stars up on paper, I was my Uncle's kid."
"When I was a little kid, he was decent to me. When my sister was born 7 years later, her s**t didn't stink, and I had better not breathe wrong. When I told him, I knew the family's little secret. He was glad to be rid of me. He died 6 years later from a heart issue. Out of curiosity, I did a DNA test, and my sister did one too. Turns out I, in fact, was my father's son and my sister, his best friend's kid."
Traditional_Crew6617
Zero Behavior
"I’ve commented on this before but someone once said to me/about my wife that 'It sucks her dad died [last week of a sudden massive heart attack but that doesn’t give her an excuse for her behavior.]' The problem was, the statement was totally untrue. There was zero 'behavior.' The person was literally just being a cold-hearted b*tch because they took a disliking to my wife, who was only ever perfectly kind to the cold-hearted *itch."
"I excused a lot of shi**y behavior toward myself and others from that POS but this was the last straw. To not even be able to fake a decent human interaction toward someone the very week their father dies a horrific, untimely death really speaks to the kind of garbage heap of a human I was dealing with."
Straight-Two1164
Happy 50th!!
"My father told me that I would never live to the age of 50 because I was overweight. He went as far as to leave my brother and sister his estate in the will, but I was only left a small amount of money that I would only be eligible to collect after my 50th birthday. He was one of the most cruel people I have ever met in my life."
GiacintoD
24
"I was 18 when my sister (24) died suddenly of an aneurysm. For weeks after I was told SO many different iterations of 'It's all in God's plan/everything happens for a reason' that that was the start of my break from my own faith and losing my religion. I cannot imagine saying something like that to someone who just lost a sibling. I have a visceral reaction to that phrase to this day, and it was 24 years ago next month."
heyitsthatoneguy81
Wishes
Magic Carpet Genie GIF by DisneyGiphy"My dad once was angry at me and said that he wished I were an abortion. I knew even back then that he didn't mean it, yet sometimes decades later, it still stings."
MagnoliaTree3
The cruelty of parents is the worst.
We really need to watch how we speak.
People Share The Most Hurtful Things Anyone's Ever Said To Them
A Redditor asked: 'What's the most hurtful thing someone has ever said to you?'
Physical wounds heal but it's certain things people say with the intention of hurting your feelings that cut so deep.
Whether it's an insult or an unforgivable slur hurled by someone who can either be an acquaintance or a stranger, denigrating comments can have longlasting effects.
Even a family member or a significant other who knows you deeply can exploit your vulnerabilities or insecurities in the heat of the moment.
Strangers opened up about the words that scarred them for life when an anonymous Redditor asked:
"What's the most hurtful thing someone has ever said to you?"
Kids can be so cruel.
Insulting Mom Fighting Cancer
"When I was younger, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My siblings and I shaved our heads to support her. This kid told me that 'he hopes my mom dies' and that I looked like I was in the holocaust. She has been cancer free for 13 years, but f'k that kid."
– oprah-simpfrey
But adults, especially a parent, who should know better can be worse.
Ungrateful Mother
"When I was young, my mom said holidays are better without me."
– somewhereoutthere217
"When I was young my mom saying she had to love me but she didn’t like me."
"It was her careful specificity, and I’m adopted."
"F***ed me up for life."
– Wecanbuildittogether
Rude Introduction
"Yep. My biological mother introduced me to one of her coworkers as someone who 'didn't like her daughter, either.' I mean, I knew it. But saying it in front of other people at her job? Damn."
– RustySilver42
Unfit Father
"My friend i grew up with, his family ended up close with mine, testified in court that my dad never loved me ever and it was made apparent to everyone around. His parents, and a few other parents, testified to all the sh*t talk he put out to everyone when I wasn’t close enough to hear it. It was testified by several that my dad blamed me for my mom’s death and despised my existence. My mom died from breast cancer. His mom made sure to take a second before she died to make sure I was told I was a waste of air on this earth. I was informed while I was carrying her coffin. She also blamed me for her husband’s death. He also died of cancer. I was 6 for both deaths (mom and grandfather)."
"Parents are horrible."
"I’m only slightly damaged by these people /s…."
"I’m pretty sure I’m the worst human ever to other people and it’s damaged me so hard I always feel like a liar and like I’m playing victim but it’s just all stuck so I just kinda suck lol"
– destitutehopium
Admitting Infidelity
" I cheated on you, and the only reason I'm telling you is because I'm pregnant. "
– StegoExo
Not every childhood memory is a good one.
Worst Teacher Ever
"Took my math book up to the teachers desk with a question. I wasn’t grasping it. He slams my book on his desk and asked me if I was stupid or what."
"Small town school about 30 years ago. If I ever run into that pr*ck I have a few things to show and tell him."
– WiscoDJ920
Projection Much?
"You'll never be loved or cherished because you look like me. You will never belong anywhere, no one cares about you enough to actually be there for you. You will be a burden to everyone else."
"- From Dad to 11 year old me after we argued about how he missed my birthday(again)"
"But looking back, I laugh because.... it seemed like he was projecting his own insecurities onto me. Lol😂"
– Ok-Philosopher5166
Worst Summer Camp Memory Ever
"You are nice but damn, I have rarely seen someone as ugly as you".
"For context, teenagers summer camp, I was 17. This guy was supposed to be someone I was getting along with quite well (the whole group but we were a few being always together)."
"I was seated chatting with the whole groupe and he came to say that randomly."
"I wasn't even interacting with him. Like, he said my name so he could have my attention."
"Its like he NEEDED to say it in front of everyone and he didn't feel like he was saying something wrong."
"What was weird is that, he wasn't even laughing. Its not like someone or some people were trying to make fun of me."
"It was so harsh that people were speechless. No one laughed. At all. I think they were as much confused as I was."
"I appreciate no one jumped on that after those 'wtf' 20 seconds, they all went like nothing happened."
"I am 35 and still remember this. Knowing how teenagers can be cruel, I hate this had a huge impact on me but I remember people really tried to not make it a big deal. The group didn't fall into that sh*t and they were between 15-17 years old."
"I think someone even said to the guy 'are you being serious right now??.'"
"But I am not sure. I was really trying to swallow the humiliation."
"Edit : I posted yesterday my night here just because I felt like to and was not waiting for any answers at all. I woke up and saw your comments and was again confused why so many people gave attention to my post."
"Thanks for your support. I feel fine today and I know I am cute and most of all nice, funny, loyal and people want to be around me."
"But your biggest weakness being exposed in front of a group when you are a 17 I think is something you never forget."
– kha-ci
People can be so mean.
But the most troubling thing is the lack of humanity displayed on the internet–where anonymous individuals can freely attack others they don't even know for conflicting ideas or for no reason other than to take pleasure in belittling others.
Is being kind to others really that hard?
We've all said things we regret.
Most often, when we find ourselves in situations where our emotions are in a heightened state, such as a breakup.
Indeed, though some people will go to every effort to end a relationship amicably, others can't hide their hurt, frustration, and resentment in the heat of the moment.
Resulting in their saying some unpleasant if not downright nasty things which may have felt good in the moment, but which they'll likely look back on in horror and embarrassment.
"Dear Reddit, what is the worst thing YOU have said during a breakup?"
The Unoriginality Makes It Worse...
"Her: 'is it someone else?'"
"Me: 'no, it's just you'."- stingyboy
Ouch!
"Two months after our breakup, she asked me if I missed her."
"I told her I missed her parents more than I missed her."- lxkandel06·
Knowing It Is One Thing, Hearing It Is Another...
"The worst is telling someone you don't love them anymore and genuinely seeing the heartbreak on their face."
"That's a gut-wrenching thing to see when you know your words caused it."- nryporter25
break up GIFGiphyThat Door Is Closed
"The breakup wasn't my choice, but when he tried a few weeks later to reconnect, I said 'Oh, I've actually been really happy since we've been apart'."
"'I don't think I could get back together now'."
"My sister called me savage for it, but I wasn't trying to be mean."
"It was the truth, and I just hadn't realized it up until the thought of taking him back filled me with dread."- HospitalFluffy
Walked Into That One..
"She was breaking up with me, and I told her, 'You know you are right, and I agree, we aren't very compatible, and our relationship has been on the decline for sometime'."
"Those were my true thoughts and feelings."
"I felt a sense of relief when she broke up with me because I realized it was the best move for the both of us."
"So why was this the worst thing to say?"
"It ended up making her want to double down on the relationship."
"I was bombarded with non-stop texts, phone calls, unnanounced visits to my apartment."
"All of that."
"Apparently breaking up things amicably was not how she wanted to go."
"I think she was adamant she left with the upper hand."- slytherinprolly
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphyIn The Heat Of The Moment
“'Please don’t leave, no one else will ever love me'.”
"Said by me sobbing in the open doorway of the new apartment of my wife of barely one year."
"My self esteem was totally shattered."
"My life was over, there just was nothing left."
"She was kind but firm."
"She knew the relationship wasn’t a good fit before I accepted that."
"We were very young, friends but not life partners."
"I didn’t fully understand until I was a few years into my second marriage."
"We both went on to have successful, happy lifelong second marriages."- DadsRGR8
Okay Then...
"Not a break up, but was seeing this girl off and on (because she wouldn't commit to actually dating)."
"Got sick of the yo-yoing, fired up Facebook Dating and met my now girlfriend for drinks two days later."
"When the non-committal girl came back and I told her I was off the market I said 'I'm just looking for someone who knows what commitment is'."
"Must have hit a nerve because about six weeks later she was pregnant."- BeefInGR
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphyName Calling Is Never The Answer
“'You’re turning into your mother and I hate that b*tch'.”
"I’m sure there was a more diplomatic way to phrase that but 19-year-old me was out of f*cks to give at that point."- shadowimage
No Thank You...
"Her, 'This isn't working out I think we should just be friends'."
"Me, "'Lets just never talk again is probably best'."- Schrodenger
Some People Just Need A Kick In The Pants...
"Not me but someone told my aunt they were breaking up with her because she was a deadbeat going nowhere in life."
"Then she became a doctor out of spite lol."- ResidentNeck4465
Greys Anatomy What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphyWhat The Actual...?
“'Sex is part of the reason I’m ending things'.”
"In my defense it was my first time breaking up with a guy."
"The man had a boner the entire time I was breaking up with him, he was crying, and he kept trying to have sex one last time during my break up speech."
"I was perplexed."- SinfullySinless
When They Go Low...
"I once ended a struggling relationship."
"A few months later I got an email from the person, and it was pages of everything I had ever done wrong in the relationship."
"I realized that this was why the relationship had been struggling."
"All these thing that had been bothering my partner, and they had bottled them all up inside instead of, say, talking to me about it."
"So, my entire response to this multiple page email with everything I had ever done wrong."
"'Thank you, that was very helpful'."- jacksparrow1
Young Love...
"'No one will ever love you like I do'."
"At the time, I was young and that's really how I felt."
"In retrospect, it was mean and manipulative."
"We're now both in happy marriages."- Formaldehyd3
Dawsons Creek Crying Dawson GIF by HULUGiphyA breakup is always bound to unleash many feelings we may not have realized we had.
Making a breakup one of those times where it is always wise, if not paramount, to think before speaking.
People say the craziest things.
Sometimes I stand in silence, my jaw on the floor, after I hear a person speak.
I hate to call anyone dumb, but let's get real.
Redditor JasperMidnight wanted to hear all the things we've heard that left us in shock, so they asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard someone say that they were 100% serious about?"
Sometimes I want to faint when I hear people speak.
Leo Lives! Then Dies!
Leonardo Dicaprio Ok GIFGiphy"English teacher here. Once, while showing my class the Leonardo DiCaprio version of 'Romeo and Juliet,' I had a student staring at the screen in utter confusion for half the movie before she said, 'How can he be in this movie? He died on the Titanic.'"
BlakeMP
Turn Around
"At one of my first jobs as a graphic designer, a client called me into his office and pulled up a photo he took. He then asked me if I could turn it around. No, not rotate it, but turn the viewpoint around. He wanted to see what was behind the camera when he originally took the photo. God, I have so many stories from that job."
HerNameIsRain
Change Direction
"A guy I work with said that a football referee runs over the distance of a marathon during a game. I pointed out that a football game was only 90 minutes long and that the marathon record was just over two hours so that would be impossible. He said it was possible, because a football referee 'changes direction a lot during a game, and it all adds up.'”
tommyhashbrown
Time Zones
"Someone I know argued with me that I do not live anywhere near Canada. He got pretty nasty about it too."
"When I showed him proof he said 'Well I only know Texas.'"
"I live right outside of Detroit, Michigan. Closer to Canada than I am to any other state."
"I have also had a few people argue with me that I do not live in the Eastern time zone. I guess they know better than someone who actually lives here."
msspider66
BRO!
Nbc GIF by SunnysideGiphy"'Yeah bro, it says carbonated because they removed the carbs' while standing in line at a drugstore. Best eavesdrop of my life."
sigmaswan35
Carbs aren't the issue we make them out to be.
They are our friends.
Back then...
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"I was on a date at an art museum. The painting tag said who it was made by the title and made Circe 1600 and she said 'Do you think the earth was even around back then? You just never really know.'"
hi_im_watson
Every Thanksgiving
"I was stationed in Germany in the late 80’s-90’s. Every Thanksgiving multiple dudes would be perplexed as to why the Germans didn’t celebrate. A dude once told me he was excited to celebrate the 4th with the Germans and asked if they did fireworks. I love you my brothers, but some of you are dumb."
420stoner332
"When I was in Germany on a rotation they actually put on an incredible fireworks display for us. So did the Afghans (who used flares from their lil lookout thingies around the fob) when I was deployed. I was astonished and then extremely touched in both scenarios."
LavishnessFew7882
Really Real.
"When I was a kid (and on and off when I was older, until after it was decommissioned) my dad worked at a nuclear power plant. I was mentioning this to a college-aged coworker at one point (I think I was telling a story about taking your daughter to work day or something) and the coworker stops me. 'Wait, those are really real?'"
'I stopped talking, at a loss for words. I then had her repeat what she wanted to know. 'Nuclear power plants are actually real things? I thought they were made up for like The Simpsons.'"
bestem
Thanks, Mr. Murphy
"In college, my teaching assistant in my dinosaur class insisted that roadrunners weren’t real and laughed at me for suggesting it as an answer for a bird that runs fast. But the real dummy was me because I’ve seen one in real life and I still said oh ok."
natsugrayerza
"In grade 6 my class read a poem about ptarmigans where every word starting with 't' was changed to 'pt'. The teacher said that ptarmigans were made-up animals. I countered that they were a type of arctic bird, so he sent me to the school library to find evidence."
"I came back with an encyclopedia and turned to the entry for Ptarmigan and he read it out to the class and told everyone that teachers don't know everything and they should never be afraid to speak up. One of the best teachers I ever had - thanks, Mr. Murphy!"
TheMightyGoatMan
Multiplies...
paul muffins GIF by Big BrotherGiphy"'Blueberry muffins you buy premade don't have any blueberries in them. Blueberries cost too much. They dye bleeds blue because they have the same texture and use them.' He has 'explained' it to multiple people multiple times."
By0z
BAD
"Maybe too obscure but anyway I was the radiation safety office for our lab group many years ago and was telling one of our more truly brilliant (not being sarcastic) PhDs that his badge came up hot, meaning his technique was BAD and he was going to have to be retrained and he said, 'It doesn't affect me, I'm done having my children.' Like being careless with radioactive isotopes can only affect your gonads and not, IDK, give you f**king cancer."
feliciates
Some people really need to think harder before they speak.
This piece is proof.
Do you have any stories to add? let us know in the comment below.
First impressions can be misleading, to the point of being dangerous.
After all, as Jane Austen taught us in Pride and Prejudice (whose original title was, in fact, First Impressions) the person who ends up being the love of your life might seem utterly loathsome upon a first meeting.
Even so, it's hard not to snap to judgment when meeting someone for the first time, particularly based on what they say.
Be it a difference in political or religious beliefs, or simply something shockingly rude or ignorant, all it can take is a few words or idioms to make us never want to see or hear from someone ever again.
"What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?"
Is It Even Love?
"'Tough love' often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start sh*t." -Reddit
That Could Be ONE Reason...
“'People don’t like me because I tell it like it is'.”- MassiveProductions
Taking Others Down Is No Way To Pick Yourself Up...
"If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person."- AnastasiaFrid
mean girls ugh GIFGiphyOr Just Brutal?
“I’m brutally honest”- -not-pennys-boat-
And That's A Problem Because...?
“You’re so quiet”- WearyPigeon
Not Everyone Likes Their Family...
"'We're a family here' in a work setting."
"Mother f*cker you just laid off 'cousin' Bill."- recoil669
Hbo Are We Doing This GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphyIf You Think It Might Cause Offense, Then Maybe Don't Say It?
“'No offense, but…', just before saying the most offensive thing you’ve heard in your life."- lisathethrowaway
A Disability Should Never Be A Punch
“'I’m so bipolar' to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices."
"Or just to say to sound quirky."
"Really hate that."
"I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone."- PerplexedPoppy
Then Don't Cause Any!!!
"'I hate drama'."
"I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day."- Spodson
Drama Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyDefinitely Not Something To Brag About...
"Describes himself as an Alpha Male."
"Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's 'Banged'."
"Yeah, me and you gonna fall out soon buddy."- Johhnymaddog316
Should I?
"'Do you know who I am?'"- Brave_D*ck
A Handshake Is Always The Best Place To Start...
"Where’s my huuuuug?"
"Immediately no."- xPunkdaddy
Come Austin Powers GIFGiphyNever A Good Sign If They Always Need To Declare Who They Are...
"As an empath --"- paramidia
"Good vibes only and 'I’m such an empath'."- Blacklotusispunk
Where To Even Begin...?
"'Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?'"- Calligaster
lord of the rings no GIFGiphyThere's a reason our parents told us to choose our words carefully.
Sometimes the things people say can cause more pain and harm than physical violence of any kind.