Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:
"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"
I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.
That was a plus.
Never Settle
"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."
"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."
mynamecouldbesam
Continue
"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."
"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."
We1tfunk
Real Struggle
"The amount of time you have available."
frenix5
"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."
TheSilentBaker
"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."
KosstAmojan
Learning
"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."
"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."
"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."
MurphNastyFlex
Still Hot
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."
probablyurprofessor
I didn't find this to be true.
That's me though.
The Process
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."
SaiyanGodKing
Ruts
"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."
pissoff1818
Decades of Learning
"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."
"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."
ChristyCurious
Let's Sleep
"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"
"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."
Hopeful_Jello_7894
Perfection
"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."
Leebollomew
Learning and Growth
Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."
"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."
30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."
Slappyhandz
A decade can really change everything.
Farewell youth.
good job baby, shhhhh I'm watching tv."
GiphyI was the laziest babysitter for my 2 years old sister at the time.
She would grab scissors, medicine bottles or forks, then calls me to look at her, she'll be like:"hey you! Look here! I'm grabbing something dangerous!" And I would go:"good job baby, shhhhh I'm watching tv."
Then she will return the item with a disappointing look on her face, and continues playing with her legos.
Now she's 5, she makes herself green tea every day and drinks it while sitting on the bed and staring at the window... sorry mom. Tirquaz
Love that kid!
Today I was bummed that my leaf blower quit working. I went to put it in the trash can. My 11 yr old heard me talking about it, went and got it, took it apart, fixed it, and brought it back to me. He's never fixed anything like that before. Love that kid! taco_the_turtle
Babies... Hard....
So my daughter was five when I had my son. I can't remember exactly what she was asking me to do but I had forgotten or couldn't get to it or something. Mostly I remember her saying "it's ok mom. I know babies are hard" and she just melted my heart in that moment. EmotionalOven4
The baby was me.
My little nephew and niece were having a serious discussion about what should be done about "the baby," this morning. My nephew wanted my niece to put the baby in her bed so that it could continue sleeping there. My niece argued instead that the baby was better off on the couch where both "parents" could keep an eye on it.
The baby was me. I crashed on the couch and they came downstairs very early in the morning and I guess they started playing pretend that I was their baby. They then tried to cram ice cream down my throat as I pretended to sleep, because I'd been a "good baby." Friendly5GLizardJew
The Burn.
GiphyMy 4 yo caught me absent mindedly scratching at my sunburn today and lectured me saying I'd made it sore and to leave it alone. VioletDawn9
When you're 8 year old daughter.....
I was in my local corner shop buying some snacks. 2 middle aged women walk in with a young child, probably 8 years old. The 2 women are in a full on argument, screaming at each other in the middle of this small shop. I just ignored them and went about my business. After a minute or two the young girl says "mum, be quiet! You're embarrassing yourself!"
When you're 8 year old daughter has more comment sense and better manners than you, you know you've gone very wrong somewhere in your life. AvidCoco
Being Third....
One time at Target, I overheard a mother and her son speaking. She was asking if they could buy something, and this kid says "no mom, we just cleaned the car, we don't need any more junk laying around." Mom says "pleeeeeaaaase?" in a whiny voice, and he says no again.
GiphyI was pretty shocked by their conversation, I remember there was more but clearly she was the child in that relationship and that kid (couldn't have been older than 10) was parenting her. At one point I saw her speedwalk out of an aisle with something in her hands and a mischievous grin.
To this day, I think about that kid and wonder how he's doing. They were clearly experiencing hard times and it breaks my heart that he had to be such a grown up. venti-depresso
They said no.
My son went to the store with my parents and saw a few toys he wanted. They said no. He was ok with that and the next day he asked them if he could do work to earn money and they said yes. For a week my son did work for my parents all day to earn money to buy a toy he wanted.
He saved his money and when he went with them to the store he brought his money and even tho he wanted this big LEGO set he saw a smaller one that it'd be over his budget to buy both so he ended up buying two small LEGO sets he really wanted and saved the rest till he could work off the difference so he can get the big one. He's only 6 and understands the concept of money and that nothing comes for free and that you have to work if you want something. TrystenConn
Last Rites.
My 14 year old brother was involved in providing fire to my father's pyre in the last rites. The sincerity with which he maintained himself throughout the whole thing and other long rituals, made my heart break in all sorts of ways. queerf37
15 and in Charge....
GiphyI don't know if he counts, he was 15 and was left in charge of her sister while their mother was working, the girl was riding her bike but some how her foot got stuck in the chain and she was wearing strappy sandals, he reacted quickly and grab her and brought her to the clinic i was working, I've seen people in their 30 and 40 freeze in this situations but he didn't. JessVakarian
Beware the Burn.
GiphyI work as a waitress near the beach, and i always get sunburn at the start of the season when i forget my sunscreen or something like it in the chaos of the shifts. This little girl comes up to me to tell me "miss, you are burning and you need to put on sunscreen" and handed me her 50spf kids sunscreen. I don't know if her parents maybe said something to each other about me or she was just really bright and caring. Your-goldfish
Not so Motherly.
To put it simply, my niece's mom is an absolute piece of crap. my niece is 8 and her mom has been in and out the entire time. my niece hasn't seen her in over a year. she constantly looks forward to next time she will see her even though her mom disappoints her every single time.
So this past mother's day instead of being depressed about not seeing her mom, she and her friend (who i think also has mom issues) decided that each month they would pick a woman in their life to look up to. my niece has a ton of women in her life and it was just really amazing to see her begin to accept that she will never have a genuine relationship with her mother. she's always been way too darn intelligent for her age. ma1645300
I saw a kid, maybe 5....
I saw a kid, maybe 5, walk into the grocery store saying in total seriousness, "ok, so the deal is we're just going to grab what we need and leave, right? Because I don't want to be here longer than I have to." His parents replied, "yes that's right." And he was like, "ok good, because I didn't want to come shopping in the first place." That child had the soul of a grumpy old man and I loved it. Hereatrandom
The Translator.
It's not uncommon to have kids perform as translator when with parents, who don't speak much English, come into our clinic. One young boy stuck out, though, because he was so earnest. He was about 6 or 7, translating medical information as best he could.
He was learning as he went, asking very good questions so he could understand and relay the information well to his mother. I was so impressed with his politeness and patience, as well as his intelligence. After they left, he ran back in just to say "I forgot to say thank you for your help!" That is a kid I would hire in a heartbeat down the road. squishistheword
I started going into anaphylactic shock....
When I was 4 years old, I started going into anaphylactic shock from eating something I was allergic to. We were walking outside, but I was drooling and spitting and slowing down. My dad was with us at the time, but he's never taken my allergies seriously and continued walking - didn't even notice I was lagging behind.
My brother, 8 years old at the time, was the one who noticed. He convinced my dad (yes, he had to convince him) to get us back to grab the epipen (which my dad purposefully left behind to prove a point to my mom). An eight year old kid looked out for me better than a full grown adult could. claidai
All the World.
GiphyCome home from school, grab a pop from the fridge, and sit down in a recliner and sigh like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Trip_The_3rd
The Kitchen Table.
When my mom was dying. I was rushing around packing a bag to be at the hospital with her. My daughter caught on to my frantic energy and calmly helped me remember everything I needed. Then when I was going to pick her up from my FIL's house, I got a call from the hospital that they were putting my mom on a vent. I got to my FIL's house and just sobbed and screamed at their kitchen table.
She sat across from me (she was 9 at the time, 16 now) and calmly told me she loved me and that I would be okay. She hugged me. I was told that after I got myself together and left, she let herself have her own breakdown.
I often tell myself that I don't deserve my daughter. I must have done some great in a past life to be blessed with a kid like her. m_rowland
Be Better.
I have friends that are married with 2 kids. They both smoke. By the age their son (oldest) was 4 he knew it was bad to smoke. He would find their cigarettes and throw them away. As he got older, he realized that they could just take them out of the garbage.
So he started breaking them and running them underwater before throwing them away. They would get annoyed but never mad at him. He would say, "I love you and I don't want you to die!" So they just tried to hide their cigarettes better. Wolf_of_Seattle
I know Dad.
My son Ethan. My wife's mom passed when he was only a year old, but in the span of about 4 years, (ages 6-10), he lost the rest of his remaining grandparents.
After my mom passed away, (his last remaining grandparent), I waited a few hours before I told my children. I'm sure that they knew because I was home and had not been home in three days, but I waited anyway.
A few hours later I was walking by his room and could hear him crying so I went in there to talk to him. I made sure that he understood that she wasn't in pain anymore, and that she wouldn't suffer from cancer ever again.
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said "I know that, dad. It still hurts. It just feels like every time someone dies, a part of me is ripped away".
There's nothing you can say to that. Reddit
The Cleaner.
GiphyMy son, he spilled something, sighed deeply with his brows furrowed and said "this is some bullcrap. But I'm gonna clean it up anyways." TinyTinasRabidOtter
These young kids with old souls are a riot.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments.
School First.
Giphy"A lot school books and supplies. When I went to school we had world maps that still contained countries that hadn't existed for a decade." Taumo
Bank Hours.
"The US ACH (automated clearing house) electronic funds transfer system. The same architecture that was used to build the system in the 70's is still in use today. And it still closes down for the weekends to coincide with bank hours. Modern computers don't need to close on the weekends." Homitu
Victorian-Era.
"A lot of rural railways in the UK still use Victorian-era semaphore signals and tokens to ensure train safety."
"At the same time we've retro-fitted an entire line in mid-Wales with the latest European cab signalling system." crucible
Best calculator ever.
"Graphing calculators in high school math and above."
"Damn I miss my TI-89, best calculator ever!" clamthang85
"I needed a graphing calculator for a class, but I don't really like TI. Bought a HP prime g2."
"Best calculator ever."
"It's hard to understand why TI has ~93% market share when every other brand makes better products. It's mainly because of their contracts with school systems."
Job Search.
Giphy"The way we apply to jobs online. Everyone is using a different system to do the same thing. You'd think there would be a better system for applying to jobs by now than to be filling out an endless amount of the same forms and multiple choice questions." PrettyNothing
Polygraph Tests
Polygraph tests
Not *widely* used, but used way more than it should be. AromaticPolygon
"And the amount they should be used is zero. They're pseudoscience."
"If they're being used not to detect lies, but coerce a confession, that's still bad. We shouldn't be coercing confessions."
"If they're being used as employment gatekeeping for federal agencies - again, pseudoscience. They shouldn't be used." RockFourFour
The Underbust...
"The +4 method of measuring bra sizes."
"Edit: for those who don't know, it's the method a lot of shops use to make women fit in to a lot smaller selection of bras, by adding 4 inches on to your underbust measurement." Reddit
Fax It!
"Fax machines." Reddit
"When I started working in the medical field I was surprised to see how heavily they still rely on fax, laboring under the delusion that it's safer and more secure."
"It's such a pain trying to send and receive 40 or 50 faxes per day with any degree of reliability. It's absolute chaos. We use a crappy fax server and it eats up and destroys about third of incoming messages."
"Plus the damn faxes get sent all over the hospital and they just get left on printers and copiers everywhere so there's confidentiality drama and sometimes you don't get your fax for like two weeks." effieokay
Explored.
"Internet Explorer." TwiNighty
"I had a spat with someone at an online scrabble site. I am like the only player in their 20s."
"We were talking about browsers and they claimed IE was the most popular browser in the UK. I sent them proof that refuted this and she blocked me. lol" derawin07
"Catch you on the flipside."
Giphy"The phrase "Catch you on the flipside." It's an old phrase back from when DJ's would let a vinyl play all the way through so you wouldn't hear them talk again until they had to flip it." Being_grateful
School Site.
"Every school website."
dailyfield
"After graduating in 2010 I was desperate for work and looked on my alma mater's jobs page. There was a huge photo of me and my friend that heavily implied we were employed and happy graduates."
boatyboatwright
Bank A to Bank B....
"The US banking system. 3-5 days for a transfer, really?"
"Edit: yes, we have things like Zelle here in the US but that is only useful for transfers typically under $1000. If you send larger transfers, hurry up and wait. I've accepted it and understand banks are using it to skim more money out of the consumer but come on. It's getting old and is a joke."
"Edit 2: Of course, small transfers are fine with something like Zelle but when you need larger amounts your screwed. Also, some can't seem to fathom banking at multiple institutions. Yeah, internal transfers are instant but from Bank A to Bank B, we have to play the ACH games. I tried transferring a few thousand dollars recently from one account to another, not the same bank, and it took 4 days and only after that fourth day did they tell me it failed. Nice, very nice."
namestom
Incandescent....
Giphy"Incandescent lights. If I'm doing my math correctly, LEDs use 1% of the energy of them, and they last much, much longer."
"Edit: not 1%, but 10%. My math was not correct."
x96malicki
"Incandescent are simply still cheaper to purchase. People are bad at seeing savings over time or really forward thinking in general."
ABetterKamahl1234
"Until LEDs are as cheap as a 99 cent bulb and can still light up the room and last as long, they won't be eliminated."
Number Identity.
"Social security numbers. Why do I have a static generated number that is given to me that I am told not to give out, but at the same time anyone that pays me needs it to report taxes. On top of that you can't get a bank account, house (rental or mortgage), phone, or any line of credit without it. If anyone gets their hands on it, which is easy, then you are in trouble. That person basically has your life's password."
"Why don't they do one time codes. Just let you either go on the site or have one mailed that you can keep on hand, or even a batch of them, then if someone tries to reuse it it will get rejected. There are several ways to add a layer of verification onto it but they don't. On top of that, a lot of places use last 4 of social to validate you which also means hardly anything."
"And while we're at it, can we please stop using public info (previous addresses, family names) for verification? That makes security WORSE if a password fails then you let them in anyway via info they can look up."
permalink_save
2 Stroke Scooters.
"I'm Indian, and I'll give an example from here - 2-stroke scooters. But, a small clarification - they're used but not that widely, yet if you put together their number in an 'Indian' context, it's gonna be significant, nonetheless."
"These sold like hot cakes from the early till late 90's, but once bikes got their footing in the 2-wheeler segment, it all went downhill for them, and finally production was discontinued by the manufacturers. At its peak, owning a scooter was sort of a status symbol."
LegendaryFalcon
Unhackable.
"The US Military still uses 8 inch floppy disks on outdated IBM computers to run the nuclear missile systems. It's because they are incredibly hard to hack. The computers are essentially air-gapped and the old IBM computers are reliable. If the military has extra parts and 8 inch floppy disks to transfer the data to avoid degradation then theres no reason as to why they cant use the same tech to run the system for another 40 years."
irishwolf1995
It works if you work it.....
"AA. The program is like 70 years old and in that time we have learned SO MUCH about addiction and proper treatment but AA has essentially stayed the same. Normally I wouldn't care if AA was some tiny niche thing but in the states we treat it like is the best/only way for alcoholics and drug addicts to recover but its success rate is about 8% and the WHO doesn't even place AA in the top 25 for recovery programs. I don't really care that AA is behind the times, but I would like it to be seen for the ineffective program it is. Watched too many of my friends and family relapse or die and go in and out of AA rooms thinking that was the only way to stay sober."
Bigguybroadway2020
Fall Hours.
Giphy"Daylight saving time."
oldmankinser
"It was decided that from 2021 all EU member states will stop participating in daylight savings "clock turning." Each country can choose to stay in summer time or winter time."
GramatuTaurenis
EMS Folks.
"For my EMS folks: full spinal immobilization for every major trauma."
"This article from the journal of emergency medical services explains it a lot better than I can: https://www.jems.com/articles/print/volume-40/issue-11/2015-buyer-s-guide/an-evidence-review-of-prehospital-spinal-immobilization.html"
"The TL;DR is that the traditional use of rigid backboards and C-collars a lot of time to more harm than good. This being especially in elderly patients."
"Additional source: I work for a fire department with spinal clearance protocols, which are a series of quick examinations to determine if a patient truly needs spinal/neck immobilization."
APrettyLittleLemon
Beep... Beep...
Giphy"Pagers, I think doctors still use it."
TonyMontana1980
"Pagers remain useful for three reasons:"
- "Radio signals that pagers receive will penetrate more deeply into buildings."
- "SMS is subject to congestion. Ever tried to send a message on New Years Eve and have it take hours to be delivered? Cell networks guarantee delivery, but not timeliness."
- "EDIT: As several people pointed out. Battery life is WAY better on pagers - and they can take regular batteries, so they are good to go again in seconds."
"So pagers are useful because in an emergency, being able to send a signal to harder to reach places and send it instantly when the Cell network is either a) damaged, b) heavily congested or c) both, are very useful features."
TheRealRabidBunny
Some things last forever!
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.