"Teachers of reddit, what is the craziest reason you have had to send a student to the office?"
Must Have Been One Epic Backpack...
"I’m a middle school teacher."
"I had a student sneak a gas cooker and his moms pork chops into school in a large backpack."
"He cooked pork chops for his friends at lunchtime, he was sent to the office for unsafe behavior, his mom was PISSED he took her pork chops she was preparing for dinner."- swanathonjon
At Least She Wasn't Faking It...
"I didn't send the student; she was from another room, but this really happened where I taught over 25 years ago."
"A girl was sick and the office phone was handed to her to tell her parents to come and get her."
"At least she was honest...because she puked right onto the phone, and it zapped the entire school's PA system somehow."
"This was using, of course, a land line."
"I can't tell you why the secretary didn't just do the talking for her."
"This was in around 1997, and I'm assuming the phone was even older than that, could've been from the '80s."
"The phone was a push-button model, so probably not older than that."
"You used that phone to access the PA, so I'm guessing the stomach acid fried some wires in there."
"Yuck!!"
"My room was across the hall from the office, and yes, we could definitely smell the vomit."
"Couldn't close the door fast enough."- 1989DiscGolfer
張敬軒 Vomit GIFGiphySo, So, Gross...
"A grade 1 student came up to me on the playground telling me another student was making her sick."
"She pointed to another student about 10 metres away, looked at me, and projectile puked on the blacktop."
"Went to the other student."
"He had found rabbit turds on the ground and stuck them in his mouth and was chasing kids around."
"I then puked."
"I didn't go to the office."
"But rabbit turd kid did."- mollymuppet78
Who Knew Teachers Had To Put Up With So Much Vomit?
"A student repeatedly getting on tables and singing Gucci Gang in the middle of class."
"Every. Day. For. Weeks."
"I have since left the profession."- CorieMcP
How Did He Even Get It?
"Kid was selling drugs."
"13 yrs old."
"Cops were involved."
"Had to go to court."
"Was a massive headache all around."- James_Is_Raging
One At Least Hopes She Cooked It?
"When my sister was a substitute teacher a kid ate the dead class fish."
"It was Monday so it might’ve been dead all weekend."- natsugrayerza
Adam Devine Bad Ideas GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphyOne Way Of Handling It...
"A new male student, year 4, gets mistaken by his classmates for being female (he had long shiny hair)."
"I’m guessing this wasn’t the first time this has happened, as he immediately jumped to the top of his desk, pulled out his junk, waved them out to everyone, yelling, ‘what the f*ck is this! I’m a boy, I’m a boy!'."- joelwhite313
Oh, The Innocence Of Children...
"A kid handed me a whole string of condoms in front of the class the day before spring break bc I was getting married over spring break."- m0992104
People Need To Think About Their Lies More Carefully
"It was the second day of my first year teaching (5th grade)."
"A student refused to do a writing assignment because she said she forgot how to write in English."
"When I asked what language she knew how to write in, she said, 'I only know Japanese'."
"Listen, it is plausible a student at my school would be proficient in writing in Japanese."
"HOWEVER, I had already seen her files."
"The likelihood that she knew was fluent in Japanese was a bit far-fetched."
"She eventually told me she also speaks Japanese, so I called her out by asking her to say, 'I don't want to come to school today' using her newfound foreign language skills."
"This 11 year old LITERALLY responded with, 'Ching chang chong!'"
"I sent her to the dean's office for refusing to work and man, OH MAN, did it work out perfectly."
"She sat down with the dean who tried to pry more information from this student."
"Only for the dean to explain to the student she herself is half Japanese and attended school in Japan."
"I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when the student heard the dean speaking ACTUAL Japanese to test the students' knowledge of the language."
"The student eventually said she only knew a few Japanese words, which devolved into her admitting the entire story was a lie to get out of doing an assignment."
"On the second day of school."
"And lies like this went on allllllllllll year long."
"So many hilarious, yet equally sad, stories from that year that I still laugh at eight years later."- 8MCM1
Schitts Creek What GIF by CBCGiphyGoing To The Principal's Office Isn't Always A Bad Thing...
"Not a teacher, but my dad was a bus driver, and one day, this kid gets on the bus, sprinting, and nearly knocks himself out on the chair."
"When my dad goes over to see what's happened, he realizes the kid had no pants on."
"The mother, who drove off in her car extremely quickly, had literally sent this poor kid to school with no pants on."
"My dad got a student he knew really well to sit next to this kid and comfort him, and also make sure everyone else wasn't a**holes."
"My dad, when he finally got to the school, walked this kid into the office and asked for a spare pair of pants."
"Poor kid."
"That mother was an a**hole."- bananaboy65
6th Grade?!
"We were doing sketch comedy in 6th grade a few years back and seeing as it was a nice day we went outside to practice."
"From across the field I see one of my students very clearly and aggressively trying to put his junk on a prone classmate."
"When I asked him, he said it was for his sketch and he was playing a character named 'the iron teabag'."
"The best was the follow up text from my boss saying 'I had to Google what teabagging was before I met with the kid'."- Beirsed1985
Misguided Chivalry
"Kid shows up to class 10-15 minutes late to a 40-minute period."
"7th grade."
"Shawn: 'Sorry Ms. G I was in a bad mood and I didn’t want to bring it to class'.”
"Me: 'Hi Shawn, I will still have to count you tardy. You’re extremely late and I need to know where you are for safety reasons. In the future there’s a counselor request form on my GoogleClassroom page you can fill out'.”
"Shawn: 'Okay thanks'."
"Things went normally for about 10 minutes, until another student shot a rubber band."
"It didn’t hit anyone but Shawn decided to take justice into his own hands."
"In the middle of me giving instruction he gets up, walks slowly across the room (I assumed for a tissue) and smacks the other student across the face."- Pretend_Dog_2253
In truth, being sent to the principal's office is fairly easily avoided.
So much so, that in some of these cases, one almost wants to give them props for creativity.
I still love a good, subtle... "Bless Your Heart!"
Drive On
sick way GIFGiphy"During heavy fog, I was driving extra cautiously. My passenger looked at me and said:"
"'There's a funeral home out there somewhere looking for you to be their hearse driver.'"
Back2Bach
Roll Down
"Student asked me, during sex Ed, about the bar code that printed near the base of every condom. I said I didn’t know that condoms had barcodes like that. He smiled and said, 'Oh, you don’t gotta roll yours down that far, huh.' I laughed and told him that was one of the funniest things a student ever said."
this_name_is_banned
Scrambled
"My step-sister can be kind of an airhead. On Christmas one year, her dad gave her something that required her to set the day and time. She asked him what day it was. Her dad just laughed and said 'oh honey, you could hide your own easter eggs.'"
Celesticle
"Sounds like a burn on people with ADHD. My apartment is filled with surprises I accidentally hide from my as elf."
Flyingwheelbarrow
God Draws
"Overheard 'I might be fat but you look like something God drew with his left hand.' I still giggle when I think about it."
forevertwoc
"Speaking as a lefty that can't really draw and isn't really artistic, this kinda stings."
PitBullFan
"Well there's the whole 'The Right Hand of God' thing. So I guess some have taken that literally"
shewy92
LOL
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy"I don't know why but my friend called me a dense liquid once and it was hilarious to me."
maybe_spoopy
Some of you are savage AF. And I am living....
Let it Dry
construction GIFGiphy"It was a rainy day, I was at a construction site for labor work, I had nothing to do so I was just standing there next looking at the dirt mounds around the site. Some fella walks pass me and says 'what’s your job, watching dirt dry?' Cheeky."
Ike_The_Sir
I See You
“'You look like someone who enjoys pro wrestling.' At the time, they were absolutely right."
sanibelle98
"It's one of those things where yes, a lot of it is stupid bullsh*t, but one can appreciate the better stories they've told (Undertaker being a good example), and the olympic skill it takes to be 7' and 300lbs while managing to do acrobatic flips and NOT hurt anyone. It's genuinely impressive."
Bacxaber
"As someone in the pro wrestling business, never be ashamed of being a pro wrestling fan."
MaskMan193
So Pretty
"My great grandma used to say you can’t be pretty and smart on the same day. When one of us would do something dumb, she would pat us on the shoulder and say 'you look so pretty today' and usually the person would take it as a compliment from Gran and not realize until later."
SneezyMcBeezy
Shout
"My mom ‘shouted’ at my brother in the kitchen to go get his laundry cause it was sitting in the dryer getting wrinkled and he replied without hesitation 'yeah well you’re sitting on the couch getting wrinkled so.' It didn’t go well lmao."
DarkWing2274
"Nah, unlike my father my mom isn’t violent. she just said 'this is why amber left you.'"
"Amber was my brother’s girlfriend of 5 years, and on the night he was gonna propose he found out she’d been cheating on him for 3 years with like 8 different people. amber sucked anyway, i didn’t like her, so i’m kinda glad but he’s still depressed about it."
DarkWing2274
Cheap
Drunk Happy Hour GIFGiphyI asked a bartender 'What’s cheap and has a lot of alcohol in it?' And he said 'You.'"
NickyAndretina
The Triangle
"When my son was three, I made him really angry by making him put away his toys and get ready for bed. He WANTED to cuss me, but he lacked the vocabulary, so he dug down deep into his pissed off wee soul, looked me dead in the eye and came out with 'Mommy, you NOT nice! YOU A TRIANGLE!'"
"I have no idea how triangles came to represent all that was not nice in his world. I have no idea if he meant some other word. I just know that his meaning and intent were crystal clear and that if he had known the word 'heifer' or 'witch,' that is what he would have said! He’s 19 now, and I’ve asked him about it, but he has no recollection of the TRIANGLE incident."
geekchicdemdownsouth
Hooked
"Last time I seen a mouth like that it had a hook in it. I laughed my a** off at that one and we became friends afterwards. In his defense, I was drunk and running my mouth. Lesson learned."
Thephilosopherkmh
"Oh gosh, this was my brothers favorite insult."
Illustrious-Fly9586
Flush It
"Your gene pool could use a little more chlorine."
Brileyt764
"'Am I overthinking this or is that really dark?'"
"In a similar vein: I had a flatmate who walked past and said he heard my mum wishes she aborted me in the 2nd trimester."
SuspiciousNoisySubs
That Girl
Fun Yes GIF by Lilly SinghGiphy"Girl at work after telling me a story about her weekend said 'I hope you don’t think any less of me.' My response 'How could I think any less of you?' I mean, how can you pass up a straight line like that! She missed it as an insult, so she didn't get mad."
OrangeJueleus
Weirdo
"At my old job, someone said to me, 'Oh, you aren't being weird on purpose.' It came after a few times of her ragging on me for reasons I hadn't understood prior to this. This comment wasn't the insult but it explained several of the previous things she'd said that bothered me."
DaddyOhMy
Slowdown
"'You eat like we have free health insurance.'"
Spadeuni
Fool
"'You aren't the dumbest person in the world but you better hope they don't die.'"
waitwhatnow4
“'Well then I wish you good health.'”
Blastspark01
What Size?
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"As a very small-chested woman, I was working the door at a gay club in the late nineties. I was checking a drag queen's ID and was told, 'Girl, you gotta buy yourself some boobies.' Didn't have an answer for that, lol."
Kurapica147
Heavy Comedy
"I was 9 months pregnant with my first child and felt super heavy and uncomfortable. We went to the movies with friends and I had to go to the restroom before the movie started. When I got back to the theater, I couldn’t find my husband and friends (didn’t know where they were sitting yet)"
"So I waddled down to the front of the theater in my quest to find them and stood in front of the screen for a couple minutes while I was trying to get my bearings. When I finally approached them, my male friend said, 'Wow, for a second there, I thought we were watching. Alfred Hitchcock presents!'”
"Normally a fat joke while pregnant would’ve pissed me off, but it was hilarious!! I still laugh when thinking about it."
NancyDrew1932
I have a whole new list of shade to share. Thank you.
Redditor Professor-SEO_DEwanted to discuss what and who human's should be weary of, by asking:
"If a dog is man's best friend, what's man's worst enemy?"
Mother Nature.
She can be a real B!
If it's not hurricanes, it's fires.
It's like, lighten up lady.
Evil
"Bedbugs." ~ PM_MeYourEars
"This is the actual answer. They’re a pest that evolves with us specifically. We’re the only host animal that they feed off of." ~ BrickLuvsLamp
GiphyKillers
"Mosquito." ~ Degenerate_Saint
"There is a claim that half of all humans who have ever lived have been killed by mosquito born malaria. That claim is disputed, but the fact that people argue about it being closer to a third or a tenth or even a twentieth of all humans who have ever lived, says a lot about just how bad these things are."
"There is also the Guinea worm, which today is almost extinct, but used t0o much much more of a deal and according to some inspired the symbol we today use for medicine." ~ Loki-L
Airborne...
"Flying cockroach." ~ Vehenion
"I used to live in an apartment complex where going to the laundry room meant walking through an outdoor hallway that had flying cockroaches. That was on the second floor."
"When I lived on the first floor it was just millipedes. When I moved to the second floor I started wearing a laundry basket on my head for protection. Still beats the third floor. Third floor was bats." ~ moak0
The Great War
"Geese." ~ Im_bored_123
"Ok, so before I sat down on the toilet right now, I roman candled the geese that destroy my lawn. They're great because they absolutely scare them all immediately without actually causing them any harm."
"I haven't had to do that in about a year and a half. I guess this is a new generation that doesn't remember The Great Goose war of 2018-2019. I remember. I remember everything." ~ Jame_Gumball
It's Me
"Himself." ~ SgtGo
"It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy. 'Cause every now and then, I kick the living crap out of me.'" ~ _duncan_idaho_
GiphyWhatever deity created bedbugs should be punished.
They are the minions of the devil.
I hate them!
"The “x” button in ads when you try to click them." ~ cjj966
"Not to mention those fake playable ads that immediately send you to the app store." ~ DRYFT3R_9
GiphyBrutal
"Fleas." ~ Wavage
"Lived on a farm growing up with 5 dogs, at one point we got a flea infestation and it was intense. We had carpet on the floor, and I used to make it a game to put in calf high white tube socks, and walk slowly across the carpet."
"My feed would be black by the end with hundreds of fleas and I would run to the bathtub and drown them. Was a brutal week." ~ teh_pwnererrr
It doesn't beat us...
"Depression really is the enemy. We've got some weapons against it, but for some reason talking to others seems to be the only one that gets frequently mentioned. Exercise is a good weapon."
"Any form at all, even light exercise. Light boxes have helped me immensely; I normally get SAD but haven't since using them."
"It might be coincidental, as other aspects of my life have changed, but they are definitely worth considering. You need to use it close up and for a good amount of time."
"Diet is important, and human interaction, even silly small stuff. Just saying hello to people helps. Meditation: very helpful, at least in my experience."
"Obviously going and speaking to the doctor about it. For some reason people seem to be against taking anti-depressants, but that's allowing depression to win. F**k depression. I freaking hate it. We do whatever we can to beat that piece of crap into the ground."
"And if depression does come, and it wraps it's cold, constrictive arms around us and hollows us out, then we say 'Not for long.' It goes, it always does."
"It doesn't beat us; we beat it. Sometimes over and over, but we always win in the end, if we just stay in the fight. F**k depression." ~ octopoddle
Foot Killers
"Legos on the floor." ~ RandomChopSuey
"I knew a guy who had a lot of lego, used to keep it all over the house on display in glass boxes and on shelves and whatever, and it was always really fun to go over and see his latest stuff."
"Funny thing is, despite having all that lego there was never any on the floor lying around. You could walk barefoot with impunity and it was fine, whereas in a person's house where they don't have loads of lego on display it still always sometimes gets you. Funny thing is the guy was later killed by a Go**amn octopus." ~ spiderbabyinapram
Be Ready
"That idiot driver in the other car." ~ Sofarbeyondmessed
"Assume they are all trying to kill you. That is why I have a harpoon gun on my car. Pre-emptive defense." ~ Pyroclastic_Hammer
GiphyWe better watch out.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I was not the most serious in my class, but I certainly wasn't the most mischievous either.
On one rare occasion, I was roughhousing with a friend in between classes during middle school, and a teacher happened to walk by and accused us of fighting. The guy was so infuriated, there was no sense in explaining we were just messing around and not out to kill each other.
We were immediately sent to the principal's office. Once we convinced her that everything was okay, we were reprimanded for wasting her time. As a student, sometimes, you just can't win.
Curious to hear about the rambunctious tendencies from former students, Redditor The_Marcindale asked:
"What's the stupidest thing you got in trouble for at school?"
Schools thought these were examples of bad behavior
The Serial Texter
"Got Saturday detention for texting on my phone after school hours. There were no policies that said it was not allowed on school grounds or when I am allowed to use my phone. My high school was dumb."
Coughing = Bad
"Coughing/Sneezing because it was disruptive behaviour. Happened to several students at the start of the year, which prompted even more disruptive behaviour - this time on purpose."
Make No Mistake
"For correcting a teacher. How do you make a mistake when you have the text book open up in front of you."
They were guilty until proven not guilty.
Explosives And Alcohol In The Locker
"I bought an Rc car into school to take over to a friends house, somehow my locker was searched and the dean (horrid woman) tried to claim I had explosives because of the fuel. It didn't go anywhere, since the fuel was with an RC car ffs."
"Another time she searched my locker and claimed an empty Diet Coke bottle smelled of alcohol. Yeah she didn't like me, idk why."
Two John Smiths
"My name is John Smith. There was a kid in my school whose name was David John Smith but he went by John. He tended to get into trouble and the people in the office would look in their records for John Smith and I'd get called in."
"It would always get sorted out but the tone was always sort of 'okay, well, I guess we'll let you off this time.'"
The Liability
"It was lunchtime, so everyone's rushing out to the cafeteria. It was very crowded. As I was moving along the crowd, I saw a kid running my way. So as not to get in trouble, I side-stepped. Then, out of nowhere, the Principal scolded me, telling me how I could've caused an accident because of what I did. But the kid that was running through the crowd got away scot-free."
The Ableist Teacher
"My grade 9 English teacher had it out for me cause I'm deaf. Always finding ways to belittle or put me on the spot without explicitly outing herself as an ableist even though I've always been a good student. A kid passed me a note during silent reading so I rejected it & she started yelling at me for passing notes. The kid even confessed I didn't do anything, it was all him. She still sent me into the hall which led to a series of mediation meetings later on. On that day though, when I got back to my seat he left another note on my chair saying "sorry :(" lol"
Sometimes, you can't help the way you look.
Dance Fail
"My high school didn't allow ripped jeans at all. I was in my dance class (we weren't dancing that day) when I was bending down to sit on the floor and my jeans ripped at my knee. I got sent to the administrator's office for it."
Vertically Challenged
"Being tall. I used to get bullied despite being taller than all the girls in my grade, because girls often fight with words, not fists. One girl was bullying me and it was getting really bad, so I went to a teacher to explain what was going on. She told me a girl that tiny couldn't bully me and I was probably misreading the situation. She then gave me some pointers on how to be less intimidating and basically instructed me to make myself smaller. She did not talk to the other girl. When things got worse, I was getting nasty prank calls at home and at school girls would insult my clothes.
I remember buying a sweater that was a popular brand amoungst the girls at school, to show everyone that I knew what was cool. Well, the brand didn't design clothes for very tall girls, so the sweater was a bit cropped on me compared to others. So of course, I got ripped apart for that. When I told the girl I was going to tell the teacher, she decided she would beat me to it. She told the teacher I purposely bought a sweater like hers to make fun of it. So the teacher told me to remove the sweater and not to wear it again because it was hurtful. I was so upset because I really liked that sweater. Unfortunately it died in my closet after that. Everytime I saw it I was reminded and I felt horrible.
Sexualizing Hugs
"In middle school they made a ban on boys hugging girls because it was erotic."
"So I'm in the middle of hugging my sister and surprise I got in trouble for it BTW I was hugging her because I was comforting her because she was being bullied and the school did nothing about it."
Giving Hair Defense
"Catholic school tried to give me detention for long hair, my mom did not give a single sh*t, came into the school office and told them off. They never said anything about it again. She's the best."
There was one thing I did in eighth grade where I deserved the punishment.
I attended an open-campus school where we were located one block down from the mall. The setup could not be any better.
One day I ditched classes with some friends and we went to the arcade at the mall. It was the best day of my life up until that point.
Unfortunately, we returned to the campus, but not before fifth period was out. We got caught because we were just sitting ducks in the empty hallways. So it was off to detention after school.
It just meant I was able to spend more time with my buddies that day, so whatevs.