Some of us learn to lie to avoid the fight, or we learn to hide things about ourselves so we don't have to be judged. I, personally, learned to give explicit and overly detailed accounts for every moment of my time and every dollar I earned. I would fret every single moment that I wasn't at home because I knew I needed to know every single detail for questioning later. Otherwise, I would be accused of lying or cheating or whatever else. Even if I drove to do errands my partner sent me on, I would need to remember exactly which route I took, note times and names of everyone I spoke to, remember the colors of the cars around me and what people were wearing etc. Any and/or all of it could be on the "test" later and I had no way of knowing what the punishment for failure to answer his random questions quickly and to his satisfaction would be.
One Reddit user asked:
What survival tactics did you have to unlearn once leaving an abusive/toxic situation? How?
So it turns out I'm not the only one who has learned to be unhealthy in response to a situation that was unhealthy. I mean... it makes sense when you think about it. Toxic water is what gave us the three-eyed Simpsons fish, after all.
Happily, quite a few people can attest that yes - it gets better; but it takes work and time. Here are some of the most popular responses, edited for language when needed.
