"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor DekuSkrub18 wanted to hear about all of the rules that left people dumbfounded when we were students, so they asked:
"What were the dumbest rules put in place at your school?"
I can't recall a ton of silly rules at my school.
That was back in the 1800s though. Things have changed.
Stand Up
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"Students weren't allowed to sit on the floor in the hallways because it promoted sex."
Arius_de_Galdri
Oh!
"Something would happen: like a dropped tray or a book loudly hitting a table, and the whole cafeteria would yell Oh! The administrators hated it and would try and get us to stop. One week it happened a couple of times in a day."
"The assistant principal stood on a chair and loudly declared that if it happened again, they were going to turn off the vending machines. Of course, everyone yelled Oh! immediately. He angrily walked over and ripped the cords for the vending machines out of the wall… only to be met with a chorus of more Ohs!. It was hilarious but also incredibly stupid."
andronicus_14
Rewards
"At my primary school at the end of the year, there was a beach day for all students who had no detentions. Fine, I guess a reward for good behavior."
"But when you also have a policy of putting anyone who fights in detention regardless of who started the fight it becomes a bit unfair. You get picked on by a bully and you both get detention."
Mythical_Atlacatl
Funneled
"One-way system. You had to go around the entire school to go to your class that was directly next to your previous class. Also, the one-way system funneled all the students into one corridor, when if they could just go the fastest route they could avoid getting in each other's way. They used to say that the school was built in the 70s for much fewer students so the hallways were too small to let students walk where they want."
"So their solution was to funnel all the students down a single hallway. It didn't make sense to me."
Affiliations
"Our school tried banning 'gang affiliated' clothing. I can tell you right now the closest thing we got to 'gangs' in my school was one kid who listened to too much 50 Cent and Eminem, and another who actually grew up in Detroit but was about as clean-cut as they come."
"But oh no, my camo-patterned fall jacket? That I got at OLD NAVY? I must be in a gang. That lasted all of a month until about 1/3 of the school had been sent home for 'dress code' violations multiple times. It was utterly arbitrary and nobody cared except for a handful of the administration."
subtxtcan
Cheers
Cinco De Mayo Drinking GIF by WDRGiphy"The song 'Tequila' was banned because parents said it promoted underage drinking."
LordBaranof
But it's such a great song!
Hairy Situations
Long Hair GIF by Hollie KitchensGiphy"In our school, girls weren't allowed to wear their hair down. If any girl forgot to tie her hair, she was reprimanded. This really irritated the teachers."
Goddess_Gwendolyn
That's Exiled!
"It was always dumb when they would outlaw whatever the new cool harmless fad was. I remember when they outlawed snap bracelets, wacky cards and garbage pail kids, magic cards, etc. I think tomagatchies too."
wpascarelli
"We had both Pokémon cards and marbles outlawed because of people doing unfair trades. It was a bit of a thrill playing a secret game of marbles at the far end of the oval on lunch break once they were banned."
Special_Objective245
"It would disrupt the class. I was in school when Tamagotchis, yo-yos, Pokemon cards, and Yugioh cards were all a thing. I remember how it could be distracting or how kids would get into fights over them."
ibn1989
Skip Away
"If you are X minutes late, you must do the detention during your lunch break for the same amount of time."
"For example, if you came 5 mins late, you have to spend 5 mins doing detention during your lunch break."
"There was no detention if we don't show up to class. Basically, if you're late to class it's better to skip the class."
Goatmanthealien
Terrible
"No jeans."
skarlettohara
"My secondary school (U.K.) had a no jeans policy, our uniform was back trousers white shirt. I wore black jeans to school for the last 4 years. Would get pulled up about it from time to time. I’d just say 'Ah yep, won’t happen again' then continue wearing black jeans. Our school was utterly terrible."
minigmgoit
Water Sounds
noise GIFGiphy"We couldn't have metal water bottles because they might make loud noises if they fell."
Automatic_You4321
Color Lines
"That you couldn't dye your hair at all, even if you chose a natural color. They were so rigid that we kept our hair the color we started school off with that when one particular girl came back after the Summer holidays with brunette hair and revealed that the brunette hair was in fact her natural color, they made her bleach her hair back to blonde!"
Creative_Recover
Who thought any of these idea were valid?
Focus on more education please.
Redditor CATBVYS wanted to hear about the students we went to school with, who left a lasting impression, so they asked:
"What made the weird kid at your school, the weird kid?"
The weird kids at my schools always kept to themselves.
Now I suppose I'm the weird kid.
Regular or Diet?
coca-cola cola GIFGiphy"Carried around a briefcase with two, two-liter bottles of coke. I don't know if he would finish them every day but he would definitely crack one open in class and drink it."
mytwocents22
Dressed for Success
"He dressed up as a Jedi every day from elementary to the last day of high school and he had a lightsaber and would chase people who bullied him around with it. I'm actually surprised the teachers didn't take it away. He did have some emotional/personality problems as well."
longdongjohnson2005
"Sure, people like to make fun of him due to his peculiar dressing and weird beliefs."
"But did you ever see any Sith at your school?"
"Think about it."
Junior-Gorg
Worms
"Whenever it rained there would be dead worms on the cement… he ate them. Not like 1 or 2 he brought bags with him from home to fill up and eat like f**king gummy worms. Teachers never believed us when we told them so he had to have eaten hundreds over the years in elementary school."
Meow939
"I'm just imagining your teacher's doubtful expression 'He's eating handfuls of worms any time it rains, huh? And brings home whole bags to snack on? Stop making stories about Timmy now, it's unbelievable the things you come up with.'"
HyperSpaceSurfer
Sad Genius
"Turned yellow (literally) because he went on a carrot-only diet, shaved his eyebrows off (no idea why), and blew up his garage trying to make his own nuclear bomb. He died in his 20s after taking too much cough syrup and drinking homemade alcohol."
"I forgot to mention that he thought he had appendicitis and attempted to do surgery on himself, thankfully he only knicked the skin. He was considered a mathematical genius and got full scholarships to several colleges but didn't think any of them could teach him anything."
Cultural_Magician105
The Power
Excited 90S GIFGiphy"The vine where a kid goes 'I have the power of God and anime on my side' and screams like a banshee went to my middle school. He was maybe 4 grades underneath me but his weirdness turned him into one of the most popular kids in his grade."
PerryPimentel
Vine?! Now that takes me back in time. Wow.
Miracles
jesus wink GIFGiphy"He was tall and skinny. Would say the name of a girl in class a few times and then throw his eraser at the ceiling; in the middle of class."
"He did all sorts of weird things. At winter camp, we witnessed him take a large tube down a snow hill, hit a ramp, and while flying into the air, the back of his boot (with his leg still attached) hit him on the TOP of his head. Imagine that flexibility? We still discuss this over 40 years later like we witnessed Jesus walk on water."
Uncle_Bug_Music
Humper
"We had a kid join our fifth-grade class halfway through the year. The entire grade was given a chat about how this kid is different, but we need to be kind."
He spent every recess humping the playground equipment. We were kind to him but also terrified."
"In high school, we had a kid who only wore wolf shirts. He was Australian, so I just convinced everyone that it was a cultural thing. He was nice and didn't deserve to be picked on."
airhornsman
PHEONIX
"Not only was he large (tall and in stature not fat) for his age, like towering over some teachers, he maintained an impeccable straight, shoulder-length haircut that was half neon blue and half neon green that never faded. He also brought his katana to school which how was allowed in the mid-2000s I’ll never understand and had everyone including teachers call him PHOENIX."
oreoloki
This is Me
"Let's see..."
"He wasn't fully potty trained till almost 1st grade, He would randomly flip pencils back and forth in front of his face, he would meltdown if he couldn't get something right the first time, couldn't play sports due to terrible coordination, stuttered like crazy while talking with a very bad lisp, would nearly puke if he ate any unfamiliar food, and daydreamed about Angry Birds during class all day."
"Really weird kid, the reason I know him so well is because he was me. Autism isn't a fun or quirky thing to have to deal with. Most of my major issues were fixed by the time I got to middle school thankfully due to having very supportive teachers, therapists, and parents. Still have sh*t coordination and can't eat normal food though."
TheNobleOne06
Potato
Good Vibes Dancing GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy"He made up a thing where if you said potato to him he would do a silly dance. Halfway through high school, I guess he decided he didn’t like it anymore. But then people would just come up to him and yell potato at him over and over while he just tried to ignore them. I felt bad for him."
ApprehensiveLuck2325
Life Lesson #369...
Be nice to everybody. That's all a person my need sometimes.