Three organizers of the parade were alarmed when they received suspicious envelopes in the mail. The packages weren't marked with a return address and one of the organizers said he could "hear something shaking" when handling them.
The organizers called authorities and soon, a bomb squad was on the scene to investigate.
As it turns out, the packages weren't a threat at all, but a masterful trolling of the pointless parade.
The packages ended up being filled with glitter.
Twitter couldn't stop cheering.
In addition to glitter, the packages also contained bible verses about love and compassion, as well as notes signed "Happy Pride" in rainbow.
Let's hope they can learn something from the bible verses.
You can attend the "Straight Pride Parade" and show your feelings with this shirt, available here.
A group in Boston touting themselves as "Super Happy Fun America" plans to undermine Pride celebrations this month by pushing for a "straight pride" parade.
Beantown has as yet not granted them a permit despite the group's announcement for their counter-gay pride parade.
According to Buzzfeed News, the group's website states that they exist to "celebrate the diverse history, culture, and contributions of the straight community."
On Twitter, Tony Posnanski suggested floats that could be represented in the "straight parade," including a "Giant AXE body spray."
Floats for the Straight Pride Parade... - Giant AXE body spray - Bag of Doritos - Big Mountain Dew - Tomi Lahren… https://t.co/82EiLJXOO1— Tony Posnanski (@Tony Posnanski) 1559674505
AXE, however, had no interest in being included in their lineup though, even as a joke.
They clarified they would only be attending "the parade that matters and this one isn't it."
@tonyposnanski we’ll be at the parade that matters and this one isn’t it— AXE (@AXE) 1559740560
Tony responded with his approval.
Jill Lennon, however, was not amused.
She accused the brand of being "uninclusive" and "intolerant" and threatened to ditch using AXE products.
"Good to know you don't support straight people. How very uninclusive and intolerant of you. My straight son and my straight partner have decided to no longer use your products, since you don't support them. I'm glad, because I think @Axe smells like garbage. #stayoutofpolitics"
AXE sprayed back and clarified the meaning of gay rights for her.
@karmatastrophe @tonyposnanski Gay rights are human rights but go off jill— AXE (@AXE) 1559743949
Axe’s second reply is 💯 https://t.co/mwUtVv1fKS— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@Yashar Ali 🐘) 1559745288
Tony, the original poster who started the thread, also had an instruction for Jill.
@tonyposnanski/Twitter
AXE is winning and now consumers—including women—are reconsidering their grooming regimen.
@Meandtruman1010 @tonyposnanski @karmatastrophe @AXE Oh I might have to ditch the @OldSpice for this— 5Ps (@5Ps) 1559745736
@AXE @tonyposnanski So @AXE...how about a lightly scented body wash...call it “Go Off”?— Dawn (@Dawn) 1559746576
@elizabethdawn @AXE @tonyposnanski Make it unisex and I will happily buy it to support this company!!— Ellis Crane (@Ellis Crane) 1559749575
Whoever Jill is, she's quickly becoming unpopular for her swipe at the LGBTQ community.
People remembered to go fetch something at the drug store.
@AXE @tonyposnanski @karmatastrophe Brb, off to buy my son more AXE products— Rhonda Rowe Evans (@Rhonda Rowe Evans) 1559746180
@ronni4cy @AXE @tonyposnanski @karmatastrophe Brb, off to buy my daughter AXE products <3— Kelli_Zombi (@Kelli_Zombi) 1559748188
Mark Sahady, the vice president of "Super Happy Fun America," claimed the group would be working with the city of Boston to organize the "Straight Parade."
He also claimed the group filed a "discrimination complaint" against the city and said that "it appears the City of Boston understands they would lose in litigation."
Sahady said the straight parade will take place on August 31 and provided a screenshot with the planned parade route.
He added:
"If you would like to come as an individual, march as a group, or bring a float or vehicle, then get in touch. This is our chance to have a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate straight pride."
New York Times editor Carolyn Ryan shared a screenshot of Sahady's Facebook post.
“Straight Pride” parade planned in Boston. With floats. https://t.co/JcTsGRjNPn— carolynryan 🏳️🌈🏓 (@carolynryan 🏳️🌈🏓) 1559657956
Her viral post was flooded with comments rejecting the parade.
@jennydeluxe @carolynryan Lame music. Lame outfits. Who would even go to this?— The Volatile Mermaid (@The Volatile Mermaid) 1559663693
@OhNoSheTwitnt @jennydeluxe @carolynryan My guess? The same ppl that ask “why isn’t there a *white* history month?”🤷🏼♀️— KathiInCali (@🏠) (@KathiInCali (@🏠)) 1559664505
@KathiInCali @jennydeluxe @carolynryan “What about heterophobia and reverse racism and toxic femininity?” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄… https://t.co/EBhi34DJY1— The Volatile Mermaid (@The Volatile Mermaid) 1559665780
@OhNoSheTwitnt @KathiInCali @jennydeluxe @carolynryan https://t.co/iJdSausgdY— (RP) The OG Sexual Anarchist Patronus 🇺🇦🦄💫 (@(RP) The OG Sexual Anarchist Patronus 🇺🇦🦄💫) 1559666957
But some people get the point of celebrations for historically marginalized groups.
@yashar @AXE When did they start taking straight people rights away...I'm straight & I miss when my right were unde… https://t.co/VvqeqEdIqC— Righteous Woman (@Righteous Woman) 1559756289
And people spoke up, like author James Fell who shared why he won't be celebrating pride over his heterosexuality.
On Boston's "Straight Pride Parade." https://t.co/VBndnrpYlo— James Fell (@James Fell) 1559675645
The health and fitness writer posted:
"It's official. Boston is going to have a 'Straight Pride Parade'."
"I'm straight. I like being straight. A big reason why I like being straight is that I've never once experienced bigotry for my sexuality. I didn't have to fight for my right to marry the person of my choosing."
"I didn't have to concern myself with being beaten or killed because others didn't accept who I wanted to sleep with. I didn't have to stay closeted out of fear, or worry about the reaction of my family, friends, or colleagues by coming out."
"I never got called a slur for being straight. No one told me I'm going to burn in hell for being straight."
"There aren't any programs where I could be sent to be tortured into no longer being straight. There aren't any countries where you can be put to death simply for being straight."
"There is nothing I ever had to fight for, or struggle against, because I'm straight. And therefore, there isn't any reason to take pride in it. Grateful for the privileges I get? Sure. But pride? I don't see it."
"What I do see is that this parade is misnamed. It's not a 'Straight Pride Parade.' It should be called a 'I'm a homophobic piece of sh*t' parade."
Those who have an axe to grind about homosexuality and gender identity reek.
We're so glad to have AXE as an ally to obliterate foul odors of ALL kinds.
