Friends Of Social Media Influencers Explain What They're Really Like
Reddit user superfuncity asked: 'IRL friends of social media “influencers”: what is it like?'
When people are asked what they do for a living and respond that they're an "influencer", they will likely be met with an equal amount of fascination and eye rolls.
While it's easy to laugh off, even bemoan the increasing number of influencers working today, one must appreciate the care they take in their content.
Turning posts into a carefully edited art form which gains them more and more followers every day.
Even so, glamorous as their lives appear on their pages, one can't help but wonder what life is actually like for them.
Or better yet, what it's like spending time with an influencer, most of whom document every hour of their day for new content.
"IRL friends of social media “influencers”: what is it like?"
Content Over Friendship
"Awful."
"One of my best friends fell real hard into Instagram, and for a few years it was tolerable and understandable, albeit annoying and strange."
"Everything needed to be documented in specific ways, so lots & lots of photos, even if it took away from the moment."
"But the strange part was how, when she’d share things, the captions always told a slightly different story than what actually happened."
"Like just off enough for me and my other friends to say, huh, that has a weird quality to it."
"Fast forward a couple years, and she gets engaged."
"Boom."
"This was the catalyst for the worst of the influencer mentality to come out. I was in the bridal party, and it was a nightmare."
"No gratitude, just demands."
"Demands for expensive trips and expensive parties and all kinds of things that were above and beyond the means of her closest friends."
"And all the demands were because she had a 'following' and had certain expectations to meet."
"It was really heart wrenching to witness someone belittle their best friend and maid of honor for trying to plan a sweet bridal shower because it wasn’t going to be at an expensive restaurant or art gallery."
"It reached its peak for me when, after the in-state wedding became an expensive destination wedding, there was the demand for an out-of-town bachelorette party a few weeks before."
"I was honest and said I couldn’t afford the bachelorette (mind you, I made about a thousand sacrifices over those months to afford what I could), and was promptly bridezilla’d and told I ruined the whole experience and that I was an awful, fake, inauthentic person."
"It got so bad that the bridal party fractured and disintegrated, she lost two of her best friends (myself and the MOH didn’t even attend the wedding after all her behavior and blow-ups), and we’ve barely spoken since."
"All so she could have an instagrammable wedding that would look good for the few photos she ended up sharing of it."
"And, true to the weird strange re-written reality ways she had, she published a public 'apology' on her blog for her followers and family that completely distorted and rewrote what happened, painted herself as the victim, and got her the sympathy points she was looking for."
"Ppl really lose themselves when they create an artifice for social media."
"I learned a lot from her."- whenthesunrise
Channel 9 Reaction GIF by Married At First SightGiphyLess Than Picture Perfect
"I dated one."
"Not super popular but followers in the 100k range last time we spoke."
"I remember a lot of getting ignored and only receiving nice gifts/acts of kindness when they could post about it."
"Asking me to go to nice places (they didn't drive) only to leave me on a bench somewhere while they took pictures."
"Huge strain on the relationship, especially when they started to get bigger and there was more demand for content."- 42charlemagne
No Chance For Promotion? Not Interested...
"She hasn’t come to anything I’ve invited her to in 5 years because she only goes to events that 'further her business'.”
"Regularly says things like, 'we’re all using each other for something'.”
"Sometimes she texts me the same exact thing word for word over a couple of days, and it’s obvious she just copy/pastes the same thing and sends it to all of us and then forgets who she has sent it to."
"She still reaches out to me multiple times a year and claims I’m one of her best friends, but it sure doesn’t feel like it."
"I’ve told her as much, but she just says 'this is my life now, my business comes first and if you can’t accept that, then I guess you’re not a real friend'.”- Cirrus-Ramparts
It's All A Facade
"Pretty mundane, honestly."
"My friend is conventionally attractive, and if you look at her social media, you'd think she were a supermodel millionaire who goes on tons of trips."
"She's actually chronically unemployed, and has an income of less than 10k/yr."
"Her boyfriend makes about $60k/yr which is enough to afford them a very nice 3 1/2 bedroom apartment, and she has tons of props she uses to make each room look different from day to day so it seems like she's always in a new, exotic place."
"They take two trips a year to fun, tropical places, in which she takes many photos, and posts them as different places throughout the year."
"She's a very kind, considerate, sparkling personality, but whenever we hang out, I tend to be a shoulder to cry on as she laments about her lack of success in life."
"It's quite sad, honestly."
"But with her creativity and personality, I think she'll achieve her dreams eventually."- LemonFly4012
katy perry selfie GIF by Vulture.comGiphyNot What We Signed Up For...
"It's annoying AF."
"One of my buddies is constantly filming everything we do and posting it."
"It's to the point where people walk up to me on the street and ask me about him because they've seen me in his posts."
"I have no idea who they are."
"It dominates everything he does, and has severely impacted his personal relationships."
"He can't keep a GF and it's clearly related to this obsession of his."
"He does occasionally get some cool stuff out of it though."
"After pretty much kicking him out of my life because I do not want to be continually posted online, we've come to the understanding that when he's about to take a pic or video, he hands me the phone so i'm not in the shot."
"Works OK for me."- S_204
But What Will People Think?
"Friends with a high-profile athlete who is pretty popular on insta."
"He is always on the phone."
"Never lives in the moment."
"If we are doing anything fun?"
"Well, it basically didn't happen unless the world knows about it."
"Its just annoying."
"I cant imagine living for the approval or satisfaction of others."- Neither-Act1355
abbi jacobson instagram GIF by Broad CityGiphyWhat Exaclty Is "Influencer Status?"
"I post travel photos and have about two hundred followers."
"200, not 2000 or higher."
"My friend somehow thought that was influencer status and decided to copy me - except she quit her job so she could travel more and 'grow her own brand'."
"In 2020."
"She lost her apartment, her car, and still hasn't found a job, but calls herself a professional influencer all the same."- oikorapunk
Just.Plain.Sad.
"I know a wannabe influencer."
"She will reply to her own posts from her husband's account praising herself."
"Then she will reply to those posts as herself thanking him, it's hilarious, like inception for Facebook."- Sydneyfigtree
Followers Over Friends
"To be honest it’s really sh*t."
"I feel like I’ve been completely forgotten about and like I don’t matter anymore."
"I think that’s just some weird misguided jealousy but it still hurts because I miss talking to my friend."- EmeraldSunrise4000
Take Two...
"Sad."
"In the beginning they started because they got offers from brands because they were so popular on Instagram and it was a lot of fun for them."
"Now they don’t ever post pictures or videos without a filter."
"Rarely ever like a picture on the first try and don’t you dare post any pictures of them without getting their approval for it."
"Imagine trying to get a group picture with all of your friends for your birthday but having you take almost one hundred shots to get one that your influencer friend is happy with."
"Also in the beginning I would like and comment on all of their posts but now that’s not enough."
"They expect me message it others, share it on my stories and my page (something about new rhythms and likes not being important anymore)."
"I hate posting stuff to my page but I do it any way to be supportive."
"It is so tiring."
"They do get free things sometimes though that they sometimes share with me."
"Not worth it imo."- yonewredditwhodis·
Based on the content they post on their pages, influencers' lives would appear to be one giant party.
Spend a day with an influencer though, and it will soon become crystal clear that it is anything but.
People Divulge If They'd Still Use Social Media If They Had To Share Their Real Identity
Reddit user pretty_monotonous asked: 'Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?'
Social media platforms like Reddit allow users to comment on strangers' posts under the convenience of anonymity.
While a majority of the comments people leave can be insightful or encouraging, there are unfortunately many trolls who recklessly leave hurtful comments and do so while being cognizant that there are no real consequences for such bullish behavior.
This led Redditor pretty_monotonous to ask an interesting hypothetical about what would happen if a certain Reddit feature became obsolete.
They asked:
"Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?"
Some come to be entertained.
The Wallflower
"I'd lurk and read, but I wouldn't post."
– Not_a_werecat
"Basically how I've been using reddit for years! I have a hard time even making the simplest comments without thinking somehow this sh*ts gonna backfire on me somehow."
– archeryfreak93
Not Alone
"I love this ! I’m currently on a social media detox and I thought I was stupid for still using Reddit but I need some exposure to social media I can’t just completely cut it out, but this made me feel better thanks stranger."
– KylieJennerHusband
Fully Transparent
"Same for me. When I come here I can be fully transparent, and read others stories without making comparisons and going down the rabbit hole that usually leaves me feeling anxious and not good enough."
– crayshesay
It's a hard no.
Mental Health
"Nope. I removed myself from every platform that had that because I was constantly comparing myself to other real people, wishing I had what they had, and it was not healthy for me. Here, I have no clue who any of you are, and it's been an incredibly healthy shift while still allowing some exposure to social media."
– dj92wa
Permission To Be Rude
"No. Not because anonymity gives me the opportunity to be rude to people (I try to be as polite here as in real life), but because anonymity gives me the opportunity to talk about things freely that I wouldn't talk about if my actual name was attached to it."
"I have no desire for family members or employers to search my name and stumble across me sharing an embarrassing story, or having a not-so-mainstream opinion, or fangirling over my favorite tv character or whatever other niche interests I might have. Not to mention the risk of being stalked by people you try to avoid."
– onesmilematters
Giving Up On The Internet
"Hell no, I'd immediately stop using nearly every website I frequent if the anonymity was gone."
– AGlitchedNPC
Unemployment Risk
"One reason amongst the multitude of reasons, is that I don’t want the sh*t I say on the internet interfering with my job. I don’t want to get fired over a controversial opinion or over the language I use, such as simple words like f'k or sh*t. I’d have to overly censor myself, and the point of being anonymous is that I don’t have to do that."
– falaladoo
Security Reasons
"Probably not. I don't want to broadcast my identity for security reasons. I think that is often forgotten about when people go rabid over online anonymity."
"If a criminal/hostile state actor can make connections of when/where/what you post, it opens up a lot of scary possibilities."
– Substantial_Double32
For some, it's just a space for casual interaction.
Difference With Facebook
"This is one of the things that I really enjoy reddit for vs. Facebook. I can have indepth discussions, arguments, and debates with people who have no clue who I am, nor do I know them. I've really limited what I'll comment on Facebook out of the realization that any one I'm friends with could see that."
– ronaldreaganlive
Some Limits
"I might possibly still use it."
"But I won't express myself honestly anymore."
"Anonymity is one of absolutely essential things to assure honest and open debate. When you can be hounded and publicly punished for having an opinion different than that of the majority, you can not have free and fair debate."
– dittybopper_05H
Staying Private
"The same reason I don't post or comment on FB or Insta etc, I don't want people I know to read my opinions on anything. I'm a private person and It's none of their business."
"I like to be argumentative and have various opinions on topics that many people on my 'friends list' wouldn't necessarily appreciate."
"I'm also dead against the 'look at me' type of posting you see on other platforms; e.g. 'okay this time I'm done' without any explanation."
"In closing: I don't want to live my online life under the lense of people I know IRL."
– Rab1227
I would have no problem continuing to use any social media platform to comment on a topic with my authentic take on the subject at hand.
Because why on earth would anyone willfully make the original poster feel bad while they know exactly who is making negative remarks?
Many say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it."
Yet, that doesn't seem to stop people who have nothing better to do but elevate themselves by taking total strangers down.
Life's short, people. Let's be kind. It's not that hard.
You know what would be great?
If "family influencers" didn't exist. I don't know what people get out of watching people do their shopping and raise their kids, but it sounds boring as hell. Oh, and did I mention that the children have pretty much no privacy from the moment they're born? Yeah... that'll be a treat for them to comprehend when they're older.
But there are a host of other things out there that are just as annoying.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor RAZOR314 asked the online community:
"What modern trend do you absolutely hate?"
"News agencies writing articles..."
"News agencies writing articles about "all these people are saying X" when it's just a few random people on Twitter, and generally the trend of amplifying fringe theories, beliefs, conspiracies, etc..."
DaveInDigital
I think one of the unfortunate developments in the modern media landscape is the obsession with Twitter.
I think it really exacerbates some current issues of representation in the media.
"I hate these videos..."
"I hate those videos with a split screen and something interesting is happening on one half, while an 'influencer' is literally just watching on the other half."
"I do not give a single f*ck about the influencer. I just want to see the thing on the other side. You know, the thing worth reacting to."
Penguigo
So true.
They can't create worthwhile content so they "react" to the worthwhile content.
"People recording..."
"People recording when they should be helping."
Sometimes recording does help — look at all the instances of police brutality that have made national headlines — but it's not when people are recording for likes, views, clout etc...
"The abundance..."
"The abundance of unskippable ads on videos. I 100% guarantee I will actively try to not buy your product if you're interrupting what little precious time I have to watch something."
Goatiac
Yes, it makes me so angry.
Stop wasting my time.
I will click out of something so fast.
"Corporations..."
"Corporations buying single family homes and turning them into rentals."
And people wonder why there's a housing crisis.
"All controls..."
"All controls in a car being through a touch screen."
"For driving safety I wanna keep my eyes on the road, and want to find controls (like window wipers, radio by touch. With a touch screen, I have to look to see if I am touching the right place on the screen for the control I want."
u233
Yes! It's an unnecessary design change, honestly more trouble than it's worth.
"The fact..."
"The fact that EVERYTHING is a f*cking ad."
badchad65
There are many ways to get around that and you can learn about it in my new book How to get rid of ads (free with your Amazon Audible trial).
"Everything nowadays..."
"Subscription services. Everything nowadays is being turned into a monthly bill."
TutuKitten
It's awful. And everything is so expensive. Why bother having all these subscriptions in the first place, right?
"The abundance..."
"The abundance of people trying to be influencers/streamers, while the majority of them are about as interesting as a boil."
mugen1337
To be honest, most people would rather watch the boil.
Frustrated yet?
We live in a pretty cool world. It'd just be better if most of this stuff didn't exist.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As the years go by, it's harder to imagine what life was like before the invention of the things we take for granted today. Things like cell phones that boast professional camera functions, ordering food online, and of course, social media.
Ask any 18-year-old what the world was like before social media came along, and they won't be able to answer. I barely remember that world!
Some people are worried about the way social media has overtaken the lives of children and wonder if we should place age restrictions on social media. Currently, most social media sites stipulate that users must be at least 13 years of age to register for an account.
Wondering if we should Redditor aussieredditooor asked:
"Would the world be a better place if we put a minimum age of 18 on social media, why/why not?"
The responses were quite mixed. Some people definitely thought the idea of placing an age restriction on social media was a winner.
"Facebook should go back to being just for college students. Once they opened up to everyone the world collectively became more dumb than it already was. There's that tweet that talks about parents warning children about the dangers of the internet, only to be the ones who should have taken heed of those words."
– ParticularBiscotti66
"Yes I’ve been suggesting this for a while. Social media is damaging for children. They should have a right to be kids and not worry about sh*tty insta posts. They also deserve to have some solitude after school and not be bullied through social media at home."
– Ionlypost1ce
"There’s more than just one problem and some of them absolutely involve kids. Cyberbullying, for example, is absolutely a kids problem just as much as an adult problem."
– Formo1287
"Abso-f*cking-lutley"
"It's ridiculously hard enough for adults to navigate the complexities of online communication, let alone children, adolescents, and teens... Whose BRAINS are still developing."
"Studies have shown for years that a rise in online communication is detrimental to interpersonal skills."
– Longjumping_Ad_1477
"Yes 10 year olds don't need to see all the garbage people be posting. Kids don't need to know all the drama and hate. They need to learn to be nice and respectful before coming to social media. Social media made me see thing that I will never forget."
– HornyDragons69
Others think the age restriction should go the other way. Instead of having a minimum age requirement, social media sites should institute a maximum age requirement.
"I think a maximum age would have a better effect honestly"
– VanillaThunder324
"Kids aren't the problem, they just laugh at memes and make dumb jokes the same as the rest of us."
"Put a maximum age like 65. Kick all the senior citizens off. They're the ones who promote violence, hate, etc."
– Yvaelle
"It would be a better place if we put a maximum age of 40 on social media."
– Albae87
"Only if we do a maximum age limit too. Both extremes of the age spectrum seem to make it a habit of posting the first vile thing that comes to their mind without a second thought as to whether it is factual or will cause hurt to others."
– jenni_anydots
Some people think social media should be done away with altogether.
"Getting rid of social media will make the world a better place."
– Deleted User
"Just get rid of social media all together and things would be a lot better in this world"
– Bout2Drop
"No. I think we should get rid of social media entirely, at least in its current forms. We need to get rid of all kinds of internet points, infinite scrolling, suggested content algorithms, targeted ads, and everything else that makes social media as addictive and divisive as it is. We need international laws about misinformation, hate speech, and encouraging violence, and if we can't make that happen then we should segregate it by country to lessen the chances of the real world being influenced by foreign trolls and the kind of memey BS that got Trump elected."
"We're better off interacting with the people in our local communities, and trying to change things in real life instead of complaining about them online and drawing validation from echo chambers on the internet. We can't live in a fantasy world forever, and we'll only dig ourselves into deeper holes if we try."
– NutSockMushroom
Most people agree that implementing an age restriction won't stop kids from using social media.
"Is that going to stop teens from going on their adults account? Not really. So it won’t help"
– Rude-Taco2140
"People won't magically understand how to use the internet safely once they become of age. Blocking children won't work. We need to be educating children on how to engage with the internet safely, how to set boundaries and how to follow them."
– BipedSnowman
"I signed up for MySpace at 11 or 12 when I think you had to be 13, most of my friends did the same. Same with Facebook when it had age limits back in the day. Hard to actually verify unless you have to put in your social security number or whatever equivalent other countries use for background checks which is a kinda dangerous slope."
– fenderdean13
"I mean, adult-only sites say "You can only view this content if youre 18+", do kids just be like "Oh ok I'll come back when Im 18"?"
– SurferSmith
However, it seems most people think an age restriction is a bad idea.
"I have only been over 18 for less than a year, so I’ll have to say no. I think that sheltering is one of the worst ways to teach safety. Also, I have learned about so many topics that I never would have without the internet."
– NiamhHA
A World Of Knowledge
"Blocking kids from social media would negatively impact minorities, disproportionately to non minorities. Many queer youth rely on the internet for support and advice to navigate the world safely."
– BipedSnowman
"As I used internet as a form of escapism as well, and it also helped me learn about my bisexuality and my ADHD."
– JesseAster
"I definitely found a lot of good help from online subgroups when I was younger. It’s tough bc there definitely is a lot of bad out there and it’s important we teach good Internet guidelines as a precautionary to avoid issues. I know my family was quite spoken on how I shouldn’t ever share any private info"
– foreveralonesolo
And that's the answer. Social media in and of itself isn't evil. In fact, sometimes, it's necessary. Between helping kids deal with their loneliness and depression, passing along important and truthful information, and just allowing ease of communication and teamwork, social media is a very good thing.
While the public's concerns are valid, getting rid of social media, or restricting who can and can't use it isn't the answer. Educating people on internet safety and what counts as helpful on social media, and what only causes harm, is the way to go.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below
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What does this insomniac do at night?
Work. The answer is work. It always has been.
As a kid, I'd write endlessly in notebooks when I couldn't sleep. Now that I'm an adult you can absolutely find me online at 4 AM rambling about some madness like trans Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or that one time my neighbor bare-hand picked up a piece of dog poop and put it in her pocket.
Yes, I live in Florida.
For me, insomnia is a place of creation. But what is it for others?
For that, we turn to Reddit. Because humans stay nosy about what everybody else is doing.
Reddit user Acid_In_My_Eyes asked:
"People who can't sleep, what do you do all night?"
Yeah ... turns out, it's certainly not a space of creation for everyone. Unless the thing you're creating is anxiety.
Over and Over
"Toss and turn. Overthink. Replay conversations on my mind."
- strawberrytohoney
"Yeah man... anxiety takes it toll on sleep. The more stressful the day, the worse the sleep."
- zfgnjzfgnjmzrfgjk
"100%!!!! And how I could have acted differently or what else could’ve happened."
- strawberrytohoney
GiphyIncreasing
"Be increasingly pissed off about not being able to sleep."
- Froggielaflame
"It's the most vicious cycle ever."
"Can't sleep, pissed off that you can't sleep, now it's even harder to get to sleep. Now you are stressing out because it's getting closer to the next day, adds to the fact you cant sleep."
"Been there..."
- Zer0C00L321
Calculations
"Calculate how many hours of sleep I could at least still have if I was able to fall asleep at that moment."
- Adept-Elephant1948
"Same."
"It’s literally the worst because I end up priming myself for a day where I believe I’ll perform suboptimally; thereby ensuring I perform suboptimally."
"It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."
- Samson8765
"Being tired and having a sh*t day at work because you laid awake all night thinking about how you were going to be tired and have a sh*t day at work is the worst."
- OfficeChairHero
Not No Regrets
" 'Dream’ random scenarios in my head where I either could have done better or changed things, or I’m dreaming of scenarios I want to happen, either because they might or just because I want it in the future"
-Genderneutral_Bird
"So its not 'no regrets' it's 'some regrets?' "
-Acid_In_My_Eyes
"Every single day. They can be as small as ‘I wish I had just given x person x compliment’ to ‘I never should have told x person about x secret’ etc"
-Genderneutral_Bird
Happy Place
"I have found success in just accepting that I cant sleep, OK I GUESS IM NOT GONNA SLEEP RIGHT NOW...and then getting in to a comfy position."
"EYES WIDE OPEN, NOT TRYING to sleep. Just lay there and let my mind wander."
"I build what I call, happy places."
"What kind of life do I WISH I had? What kind of world do I wish this was?"
"I build the whole world, I usually have powers but no one knows."
"I'm rich. I'm single. The world is safe enough to leave your front door unlocked and no one goes in to your house."
"I just build and build and build the most kickass scenarios, and eventually I'll wake up and be like 'OH I FELL ASLEEP!' and after that I usually keep sleeping."
-finalglimmer
GiphyBed Time Stories
"I am really bad at falling asleep. Unless really tired and/or using alcohol."
"Since that's not an everyday solution I listen to an audiobook, in my case the Harry Potter series."
"I know the books so well that my brain, while focusing on the story, grows numb an I fall asleep."
"The audiobook, unless the device is shaken, will turn off after 30 minutes. I mostly fall asleep within the hour now and I have something fun to listen to."
"Haven't tried it using a story I don't know, but that will probably keep me awake."
-Mr_Zoelmond
"I do this with Forensic Files."
"It’s crazy, but I’ve seen all 20 thousand of them and the familiarity and voice puts me in a calm trance."
"It takes what it takes lol"
-Leading_Funny5802
Crash When You Crash
"Read, browse reddit, music, get some work done, daydream/think whatever u wanna call it."
"I don't adhere to a schedule, I just crash when I crash, get up when I get up."
"It's healthy trust me."
-69stuffstuff69
"Do u work or go to school right now?"
-Acid_In_My_Eyes
"School, and online. All it complicates is the occasional obligation. May not align for everyone, but it's what works for me and if it works for you it could be all cool."
-69stuffstuff69
Relish The Rare
"Turn off blue light on all devices an hour before sleep."
"Use a white noise app or something similar so your mind blocks out and focuses on only 1 sound."
"Reading or listening to podcasts."
"Turn a lot."
"Most importantly for me is to get comfortable and relish in that rare comfort."
"The times I'm not worried about my lack of sleep, the better sleep I get. I normally remember that being comfy and switched off from the world (even if it doesn't work) is much more preferable to being uncomfy, looking at a screen and working for 7 hours straight."
"If nothing else, Masturbate."
-VirgilVanDoink
Transporting Myself
"I’m going through chemo treatments right now and on Tuesday nights through Thursday, into Friday, I can’t sleep."
"I will get up, go to the living room, pour a cup of coffee and read."
"I’ve finished a few books since January and I’m running out. I’m taking in the peace and quiet and transporting myself to a different world for a few hours."
"Then, I’ll take a nap for a bit. Rinse and repeat every other week."
-PickleSmack
GiphyTurning Japanese
"I remember a few weeks back, I was quite nervous about my girlfriend's wellbeing as she was super stressed about things."
"That made me super stressed about things to the point I couldn't sleep."
"I ended up trying to assemble basic sentences in Japanese for a few hours to take my mind off things."
-BagOfToenails
That Scrubbing Sound
"I really don’t know if this will help anyone, but I watch reconstruction videos of old vintage items and welding of items."
"Such as cleaning a old and broken PS1 and forging weapons from video games, hearing the sounds and the scrubbing at a low sound does help me sleep"
-Character-Ostrich-54
There you go, fellow insomniacs.
Now you've got a project list for the next time sleep decides it's not your friend.
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