The Absolute Worst Things To Say On A First Date
Reddit user TacticalBabushka asked: 'What is the worst thing to say on a first date?'
While we can all dream that there is the perfect person out there for everyone, we can also agree that each person is not perfect for everyone else. There are absolutely dealbreakers that would apply to one person and not someone else.
But most of us can agree that there are certain things that you absolutely do not say on a first date.
Redditor TacticalBabushka asked:
"What is the worst thing to say on a first date?"
No Fat-Shaming Allowed
"Once I went on a date with a guy, and afterward I messaged something like, 'So what did you think?'"
"And he answered, 'You carry your weight well.'"
"I was surprised, because it’s a subject that had never come up before at any point, and this was back before filters existed, so he knew exactly how I looked before we met, it wasn’t due to any surprises."
"He also wasn’t into 'overweight women,' per his own admission, so this wasn’t said with enthusiasm."
- HyperboleEverAfter
Sweet Ulterior Motives
"My husband actually said to me on our first date, 'I’m really glad you’re not skinny.'"
"I think he meant it as a compliment. 12 years later, I realize it’s because he assumed (correctly) I could cook."
"He likes to eat."
"I am 5’7 and at the time we met, I weighed 190ish. I’m pretty solid built, and yeah, I have some meat on me, but it’s not sloppy. I’ve always worn a size 12/14 and I’m busty."
"He weighed 260 at 5’9 and was into bodybuilding, his chest measured 52 inches (no man boobs). He also worked in a steel mill at the time and probably needed to consume 5k calories a day just to maintain. We are not small people, lol (laughing out loud)."
"And yes, I can cook very well. Good food is very important to him. We currently weigh 160 (me) and 250."
- Argercy
"He likes to eat so much he put his own foot in his mouth!"
- Constant-Sandwich-88
Too Much Too Fast
"I love you."
- Bmilvis
"So, this reminds me of something that happened to me (TL;DR: the man was already making plans for marriage and the rest of our lives not even five minutes after meeting each other):"
"A Tinder date said, 'I saw in your profile that you’re in environmental science as well as soil science. How about we take some time to negotiate where we should move in the future when we are married based on where you want to study.'"
"I chuckled at him and thought he was just being cheeky and flirty, but then he got this very confused and serious expression and said, 'Why are you laughing? You don’t see yourself marrying me?'"
"And it was after we JUST said hi to each other, bruh!"
- Astro_Baddie
The Ex Talk
"Anything about your ex that was unprompted."
- Jugnaut_
"Oh yes. I went on a first date where my date started talking about his exes for some reason. Then it continued to how he was still friends with most of them. And the finale was, 'I may not be a good boyfriend, but I'm a great ex.'"
"The appetizers weren't even served yet... I really didn't know what to do with that information. We didn't meet again (for that and other reasons)."
- double_plankton
"I met up with a girl on Tinder in the middle of quarantine and just blabbered on about my last couple of girlfriends for like an hour in her car and then left. It felt so good to talk to someone in person that wasn’t my parents."
"Then she texted me as soon I I drove off like, 'Maybe next time you meet up with someone, you should let them speak and not talk about all of your ex-girlfriends, dude.'"
"It was pretty f**king embarrassing honestly, lol (laughing out loud)."
- parkrat92
"Bro was looking for a therapy session."
- The_Next_Legend
A Way to Be Introduced
"I saw your sister when I was going through all your Facebook pics. She's hot. Is she seeing anyone?"
- I_Lick_Bananas
Inappropriate Promises
"From a girl to me: 'I am so fertile, you can get me pregnant just by looking at me.' She was in her mid 20's, with three kids, all from different fathers."
"I did not go back for a second date."
- Tallguy67ca
Weird Comparisons
"'You remind me of my mom.'"
- Icy_Alfalfa_6896
"This happened to me… I eventually met her and realized i don’t want to ever become them."
- ZealousIdeal_Face572
"Or 'you remind me of my ex.'"
- notthepapa
Acing the Test
"You have passed the preliminaries and are definitely in the running. Good job."
- Shiny_Whisper_321
Sad Trombone
"Not me, but my wife and I were having lunch near a college campus. We ordered and found a spot. There were two college kids sitting behind me. There weren't a lot of patrons so it wasn't as loud as it could be."
"With that being said, from the conversation they were having, we gathered it was a first date."
"Our food arrived and we started eating, and midway through, I looked at my wife and told her I was glad we were past all that awkwardness of figuring each other out."
"Another five minutes hadn't even passed, and I heard the guy telling his date that, 'At night I have to play really sad music because I can only go to sleep if I cry...'"
"When I tell you my wife and I stopped mid-chew and wide-eyed stared at each other... I started to turn around to save him from digging deeper, but my wife grabbed my arm and shook her head no."
"Then my wife said she (the date) had this. What she saw that I didn't, was the young man's date was in the process of grabbing her purse and leaving."
"He sat there for about five minutes after that and left. I looked at my wife and said, 'He's probably going to sleep early tonight.'"
- MastrShak3
All the Red Flags
"I’ve heard a lot of crazy and bad stuff on first dates."
"One told me her boyfriend was in jail and she will be with him when he gets out and she doesn’t want him to know that she’s dating other people. But that wasn’t the worst."
"Neither was the date that had six beers while we talked for a few hours and said it helped her anxiety (an alcoholic red flag)."
"The worst was someone that spent almost an entire hour telling me how unhappy she was with her life. I mean her family made her unhappy, her job made her unhappy, her body made her unhappy, her baggage made her unhappy and even her car made her unhappy. She was looking for someone that would sign up to help her make it all better."
"I told her good luck and thank you for the time. It was the best learning experience I had on a first date."
- palm_desert_tangelos
When No is a Complete Sentence
"In my twenties, early twenties, I walked in, sat down at the table, and the girl simply said, 'No.'"
"I got up, walked back out, and drove home. I say that sucked quite a bit, you know."
- randomdaysnow
Awkward or Fun?
"'You have the same name as my dog.'"
- BlueCanary434
"I’m laughing now, but if a guy ever told me that, I’d be confused and then would bond with his dog so hard. The stories that I could tell that would sound weird as if I were talking about myself would be amazing."
- New-Seesaw9255
Educational Matters
"'You know the earth's flat, right?'"
- WillKillz
The Second-Hand Embarrassment
"One time on a date, the girl wanted to pick me up. Weird but sure. So we saw a movie and then we grabbed coffee, and she was just driving me around."
"She mentioned work was so boring that day that she wanted to pull her hair out."
"Like an id**t, out of my mouth come the words, 'Don’t do that. Nobody likes a bald girl.'"
"She went quiet for a second and then said, 'I guess this is a good time to tell you that I have cancer and this is a wig.'"
"I still crawl inside myself with I think about that."
- KarateKid1984
We've all made mistakes in our lives and likely have said some things we didn't mean or that we wish we could have phrased better. But when we're trying to make a good first impression on a first date, there's a special sting to those mistakes that we make.
People Reveal The Real Reason Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Partner Or Spouse
Whether we intend for it to be the focus of the relationship or not, one of the defining features of a romantic relationship is its physical interactions.
Anyone who deeply values physical touch might not be able to understand how a relationship could continue if the couple was no longer intimate.
Curious, Redditor cold_h*e asked:
"People who stopped having sex with their partner/husband/wife, what made you stop?"
When Health Gets in the Way
"I was on an antidepressant that shut my libido down. No desire whatsoever, and if we tried, it always ended in my failure. Slowly improved, weaned off it over six months, and things began to get better, all around."
"About that time, my wife began getting sinus headaches. It was subsequently diagnosed as an incurable brain tumor, and she was gone 18 months later. That bout of depression was a walk in the park..."
- psilome
Autoimmune Problems
"Sex hurts her (autoimmune problems)."
"It's been seven years. It turns out I love her more than I thought I could."
- redditusernamehonked
Living Stress-Free
"He has a medical problem that means he can't orgasm. Sex always ended with him getting frustrated and upset about it. So it's not worth the stress. I'd rather have him and be celibate than be with anyone else."
"It bothered us at first, but only because we were locked into the idea that married couples need to have a sex life. We went to couples counseling and basically figured out that we love each other and are happy together without sex, so why does it matter what is considered 'normal'?"
"We're a couple of happy little weirdos, and it works for us."
- NimblyUsingAliens
Morning Sickness
"My wife had morning sickness for about half of every one of her pregnancies. Women are amazing at dealing with all of that. On the plus side, after it subsided, sex was great. Just got better and better until the birth."
- fatmanwa
Coercive Marriage
"He had more experience than me, and wouldn't listen to me when I said what he was doing didn't feel good. He would tell me he knew what he was doing and to just let him."
- Tygermouse
Self-Respect
"Before my divorce, I got tired of being rejected and having promises made that were never going to be kept."
- Im_not_that_angry
Possible PTSD
"I had an accident where someone accidentally fell on my face with their knee and crushed it some years ago (not my partner though)."
"I had some surgeries after that and my face is fine now, but I found myself unable to relax during sex since then. Somehow I am not able to give up control and just let it go while doing physical activities that include two people who are physically close together."
- LimaZim
Mental Health
"My mental health has been up and down lately so sex has been a rare occurrence. We had a dry spell that lasted about a year. People underestimate how much mental health can affect a person."
- BedBoundBean
Turned Away
"I got tired of being turned down, so I gave up."
- kwunshel316
Too Many Responsibilities
"He didn’t support/help or even pull his weight, we rarely went out anywhere, and when we did, I often paid and he’d ask to use my card so it didn’t embarrass him if I was seen to be paying."
"Basically, I was giving more than I was receiving and he cared too much about image over substance. Then he expected me to be up for sex as though I could magically turn myself on like a light switch. He’d walk up to me and grope at me when I was busy. Highly bloody irritating!"
"He also suggested I needed sex therapy when the idea of sleeping with him turned me off altogether. It felt like another chore to add to my already manic list since he didn’t do much to help. Both worked full-time and my job included long travel and entertaining out of hours."
"I felt tired and resentful and no matter how I tried to approach a solution, his response was basically that he doesn’t feel inclined to help as I didn’t put out so he didn’t feel loved enough. It exhausts me just to write that."
"I never cheated just to be clear, I wasn’t getting my kicks elsewhere. I did end it though and my sexual appetite returned with my next partner."
- TheFleaBagDiary
Double-Standards
"My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive, and also a drug addict. You can't call me those names and be horrible, and then expect me to be turned on just because you take your pants off. I spent most of my marriage on the couch."
- RosyAntlers
Feeling Unattractive
"We haven't been intimate for a long time, but I've decided to stay. We have a kid and yes, it had a lot to do with the decision. I just hope I can take it until my libido dries up."
"The worst part is feeling unattractive. I take pains to make sure she knows she's beautiful, and you'd swear I don't exist unless I beg to be noticed."
"There are times when it's better, but it's always after I've almost left over it."
- carsonArtsome
Changing Over Time
"We started dating when we were 15, we were pretty much the same person as each other. Time went on and we changed as people."
"She stopped working and I gained a bit of weight with stress and being overworked. She stopped being attracted to me and we were just two completely different people from when we first met."
"It ended horribly but I’m now with a lady whom I love very much and we’re getting married later this year."
- Korncakes
Unrealistic Expectations
"I was tired of being called a cow. I was left at home every weekend while he took our only car to his friend's house 2+ hours away. I was exhausted from working four 10-hour days and then spending my three days off doing all the yard work, housework, getting groceries, and then being expected to perform like I wasn't entirely exhausted."
"I lasted two years in that marriage."
- ItsSarahMarie
Whether it's poor relationship dynamics or health concerns, there are all sorts of reasons why the physical relationship between a couple will change over time. The question ultimately is how important physical intimacy is to both people and how to make sure they both continue to feel fulfilled by the relationship.
We all have different opinions about dating, marriage, and even our sex lives, but one thing we can all agree on is that we should have a good time.
And some people are not shy about sharing what makes them happy.
Redditor mini-mum-wage asked:
"What is an unconventional thing you find sexy?"
Just Hands
"Hands, it’s so f**king stupid, I know, but I swear to god, when I see large and veiny (not like grandpa veiny but still) hands, I’m giggling and swinging my feet, twirling my hair, and everyone around is absolutely hornswoggled."
- PANSEXUALKALIMBA
Like the Song
"I like a girl in a short skirt and a looooooong jacket."
- Horsetoots
A Preview
"When hubby reaches for something above his head and his shirt rises just enough that his belly shows...no idea why but damn, gets the lady bits all worked up."
- No_touchie_ma_boobs
Peek-A-Boo
"The little curly wispy hair at the base of a girl's hairline."
"No idea why."
- stumpdawg
It Hits Different
"I think it is hot if a middle-aged woman wears a business suit and puts her hands on her hips and tells me she is disappointed with me."
- inkseep1
A Proper Sailor
"Ability to cuss effectively and within context."
- Adventurous-Flow4228
Symmetry Who?
"I find an asymmetrical smile very cute. There’s a YouTube channel Charismatic Voice and she is a good example of what I mean as she often smiles higher on one side. It doesn’t seem super common but I’ve noticed it as a trait of a few people."
- Eternal-Bagel
Passionate Chats
"I love when they get lost in their thoughts and talk about what interests them. Eventually, they come back to reality and apologize for rambling but I tell them to continue."
"You know they've been hurt before but they're with me now, and I love the passion."
- YaFairy
Occasional Exposure
"When the nape of the neck is exposed on someone who typically has their hair down… Good God."
- ceaseless-watcher
Knowledge is Sexy
"I like a girl I can learn from, even if she's not like directly teaching me but I can still learn something from watching her."
- SleepySleeprsn
Nervousness is Interesting
"When a guy is nervous when he's talking to me and his voice quivers."
- agentscully222
Eye-to-Eye
"I seem to be in a small minority of people in preferring partners my own height. I think there's something really sexy about seeing literally eye to eye."
- Emu_on_the_Loose
Vulnerability
"When men blush. Goodbye, panties."
- Think_Doughnut628
Lines Tell a Story
"Laugh lines on a guy’s face. My boyfriend has the most beautiful perfect little creases on an otherwise smooth face. it’s so enchanting because he’s otherwise a very stoic person."
- ReasonablePudding96
What's on the Face Counts
"Big or unique noses. It's something I've always loved about other people, and in recent years, it's something I've come to love about myself."
- strawberryyogurt_
This was a fun reminder that everyone has their own preferences, and something that may not work for someone will make someone else very, very happy.
Relationships, whether that means dating or being in some form of a long-term relationship, are hard, and that definitely includes sexual intimacy. Whether it's trying to keep things interesting or staying connected after a long time of being together, many people struggle to stay intimate with their partner.
But some may be surprised at just how long some people go without having sex.
Redditor ItsRainingAlberts asked:
"What is the longest you've gone without sex, and why did you go so long?"
Tough Break-Ups
"A year. I was shattered from a break-up (two years ago)."
"Now I'm enjoying the dating scene."
- Enekovitz
No Rebounds
"A little over two years. I had no partner and wasn't really interested in finding one at that moment, and casual sex did nothing at all for me anymore. I didn't care about sex much at all during that period of my life."
- SexyChronicPain
A Dissolved Marriage
"Over three years. My wife wouldn’t touch me and I remained faithful."
"Now divorced at 40, it’s kind of hard to meet people, so the counter continues to go up."
"I'm doing mostly better since the breakup. I'm still struggling with seeing my daughter less and balancing work life and meager attempts of putting myself out there to meet new people."
- DarkScytheCuriositie
Lingering Grief
"Seven or eight years. Three or four years because my husband wasn't able to anymore, and almost five years since he died."
"I have no interest at all in looking for another life partner but I had tons of sex in my 20s so I'm all good now."
- PurplePanda1971
Social Trouble
"About a year now since my ex broke up with me. I haven't gotten anything since and probably won't for a while as I'm not very good at socializing, especially with people I'm interested in."
- billybongnong
Friends Only
"Since I had sex for the first time at age 16, the longest I have gone without was four years, from 2017 to 2021."
"Why? Because I'm now a single male in my late 40s. I have never had the desire to get married, and I don't do well in relationships."
"Most women in my age group are now married, and the ones who aren't are not interested in FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationships or one-night stands."
"I'm lucky to have found a woman who's interested in FWB, who's 27, and who has an obsession with older men, but women like her don't grow on trees."
- Fresh-Hedgehog1895
Lackluster Interactions
"Since my last relationship, all of my sexual encounters have been spontaneous, casual, and overall kind of meh."
- bazmonsta
Different Interests
"I will never have children or date someone with children and in your 30s that eliminates everyone. I'm at 2 years myself and while it sometimes gets lonely I've learned to like having 100% of my time belong to me."
- SchleftySchloe
Bad Experiences
"Two and a half years... still going strong. I don't want to get with someone again for now due to past experiences."
"I've had my fair share of relationships, and the sex (most of the time) wasn't bad but very good, the relationship though wasn't good a lot of the time, and in a relationship, I look for more than just sex, and I don't look for sex without a relationship."
"So for now, I'm good, and if I never have it again, I won't really cry about it."
- JVR84
The Importance of Intimacy
"A... while. Having sex is an incredibly intimate experience, and it can be hard to recover from bad experiences."
"I feel like a relationship is more than just the physical, the emotional bond and love, and support is what holds a relationship together. If you can't find that mutual love and respect, it doesn't matter how great the sex is."
- ItsRainingAlberts
An Evolving Relationship
"The last four years. Ever since my twins were born, my wife has had zero sex drive."
"We do the deed once, maybe twice, a year. I wish things were different, but I love her and if that’s all I get, then I’m willing to accept that."
- Jonquay84
The Way It Used to Be
"My husband has the same issue but shows me affection in other ways so I don't want to leave. Just wish that part was still there."
- WyattLP323
Low Point in Life
"I'm going on almost eight years now. I had a major life event where I lost everything, and the subsequent depression killed any desire to be with another human."
"I don’t even like to be touched now. I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted. I’m not ugly, but I have let myself go to a point where my physical looks match what I think I mentally look like."
- airlinehome
Mental Health
"I haven’t had sex in close to five years now, by choice. My antidepressants killed my sex drive so now I have zero interest."
- mermadzz
Medical Problems
"14 years and counting. I went through some pretty awful medical s**t that year, and one of the side effects is no more sex. This has been, as they said in ancient Babylonia, 'a real bummer.'"
- facelesscog
While the reasons for not experiencing sexual intimacy are all across the board, people who are currently missing the experience can at least take some comfort in how common of an issue this seems to be.
Do you have any similar experiences or anything to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Everyone has their own turn-ons, something that gets the instantly aroused or in the moment of passion. This is what makes new relationships so interesting, trying to figure out what works for the other person while uncovering new buttons of yours you didn't know you liked pressed.
As it turns out, it doesn't take much to get people hot and heavy. In fact, we should all be so lucky to find ourselves in the situations these people found themselves in with our own romantic partners.
Or, in some cases, total strangers.
WARNING: Some of these are extremely NSFW.
Reddit user, Nightfury0818, wanted to know what made your tummy all funny when they asked:
"What was the hottest thing someone said to you?"
Keep it polite, but make your intentions known.
Makes You Wonder How Long They'd Been Looking At You...
"I was listening to the lecture in English class, and one of the smartest and hottest guys in the room looks at me and says “hey [name], your shirt is both inside out and backwards.”
"I mean, I realized that he was right, but at least he talked to me"
Person9183736
Cute First Times Are Allowed
"That he never felt so anxious about kissing someone"
Halle-Hellion
Don't Start A French Girl Tripping Spree
"French girl, I grabbed her when she fell. I apologized 'sorry if I hurt you'"
"In THE sexiest accent EVER"
“'Darling….I’m not made of sugar”' and blew me a kiss ."
"Sh-t !! Makes my heart flutter just thinking about it ."
Previous-Status-4652
"I didn't know that was a French idiom. You learn something new every day."
Scarlet_Skye
The Way To Someone's Heart
"This banana bread is delicious"
"Wow, you make a great goulash"
"I've never had a better lasagna"
"Complimenting my cooking is pretty much dirty talk to me."
RaccKing21
Maybe that wasn't enough.
Maybe you need to turn the heat up to let the object of your desire know what they mean to you.
It's A Simple Question
"'You want to be my boyfriend?' - some girl who I secretly had a crush on"
ZodiacKiller1968
Like To Be The Little Spoon, Eh?
"I'm 5'1 and had a coworker who's 6'3 - 6'4. I was struggling to get something down from a cupboard, he stood behind me and fully towered over me (duh) while grabbing what I was trying to reach. He was partially pressed against my back while reaching for said thing and brushed my hand. Once he reached said thing he looked down on me, still towering over me, and smiled and said "It was fun to see you struggle." (roughly translated) before handing me whatever I was trying to grab earlier. It was like one of those romance anime scenes. It wouldn't have been hot if it wasn't for the entire situation but...goddamn."
"Kinda had a crush on him back then."
HumanParfait_
What Better Time?
"My girlfriend(F18) and I(M18) are in the same class. During one online lecture, I get a text from her saying, "I wish something else would replace my necklace right now". I look up to see her necklace in her mouth."
Empty-Intention-9745
Step On Me...What?
"I accidentally knocked a female coworker's water bottle off the table. She looked me square in the eye and said, "pick it up b-tch.""
"I never knew I had a sub bone in my body until that moment."
User Deleted
Not The Effect You Thought You Had...And You Liked It
"I was in theatre and we were playing an improv game to warm up that involved guessing so a few people had to leave the room so we could come up with ideas and not be heard. When it was time to go get the first person I run into the back room and yell at the top of my lungs “FIRST VICTIM!” (Note that I am a bass and a gravelly one so it’s not like a child yelling it) and everyone In the room jumps except for one girl, who was already walking towards me and with all the confidence in her strut in the world said “You don’t scare me…” Hands down the hottest thing I’ve ever seen someone do"
BuriedDeepInMyHead
Hold It In Your Heart
"I like it when you pull me close to you."
"From a girl I had met just 5 seconds prior and started dancing with. Sent chills down my back. I hope I never forgot about that moment."
LlamaManatee
Outta Nowhere!
"A soft, "I love you" whispered point blank in my ear."
Tumulousmaple56
"That sounds nice"
Nightfury0818
"It was made better by the fact that it'd never happened before and was completely unexpected."
Tumulousmaple56
And then there's these, the moments when all the barriers are dropped and all the pretense is taken out of the romantic entanglement that leads to love.
Stop being so polite and get to it, people.
Who Needs To Wait?
"When we were making out pretty hot and heavy she grabbed my hand and said “stop being such a gentleman”. I thought we were taking it slow but she had other ideas."
somethingunnatural
"That's the sex equivalent of mashing A to skip all the cutscenes."
sin-and-love
When You Learn It's Bigger Underneath
"I was at my bf house and we had been kissing and I was in his lap so I could feel everything yk and I felt him get hard and I said "damn being stabed over here" my bf is kinda shy about that's stuff so he kinda looked away and said "it's barely hard" by being stabed it felt huge and it was"
_crunchy_grass_
Get It All Planned Out
'We can either go out for dinner at 5, or you can f-ck me and we will get there at 530 ish'
"My ex loved planning things out"
Lazy-Pumpkin-9116
The Power Of Your Voice
"Being told that they masturbated to the sound of my voice from the voice memos I sent them. Wasn’t even sexual in nature, my voice just did it for them. lol never thought my voice had that power."
TheWeirdGirl143
No Place Better
"The first time me and my ex girlfriend had sex at my house. It was late and the room was dark, she decided to get on top and seemed like she enjoyed it more than usual. She stopped suddenly. Grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me in. She whispered in my ear, “if I had the choice, I’d have you inside of me for the rest of my life” She wasn’t a very confident person, so it took me by surprise."
Sad-Thought-6831
Speak Up, Guys
"Anytime a man moans or is vocal in general during sex I melt"
ricesaladenthusiast
"This, exactly! So many men are quiet and it is so hot to hear those groans."
RadRac
Don't Ever Let The Passion Fade
"My wife and I were out watching a band. They were really good, place was packed. But she had gotten dressed up for it and looked amazing. After maybe a half hour I turned to her and said, "Want to go home and f-ck?" She said "Yes...", then grabbed my arm and said "Yes!" It was the second yes that got me. We picked up our stuff and started to leave and saw the people behind us smiling. They had obviously heard us, and she clearly didn't care, which was also really hot."
conejon
Take a cold shower.
Then call your significant other to let them know how you really feel.
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