Let's talk about sex, baby.
I love that song and that phrase.
Yes, sex is natural and fun.
It can also cause a colossal amount of drama.
But does everyone always do it for the right reasons?
Redditor Environmental_Log257 wanted to hear about all of the wrong reasons people used for shacking up with others, so they asked:
"What’s the worst reason you hooked up with someone?"
I like to think that all of my sexual choices were thought out and wise.
But who am I kidding?
I'm no better than the rest.
I did the deed
"My first long-term gf cheated on me when she went off to college. We broke up. About two months later she got hit by a transportation bus and lost her leg. We had seen each other a couple of times after her recovery and hooked up. Years later I meet another girl with the same first name through a different ex and she had lost her leg too. I was thinking what are the odds of someone else being able to say they slept with two girls with the same name with both missing a leg…. So. I did the deed."
Justsittinghere25
I hear you
"We both had the same name and thought it would be fun to call out our names in the heat of it."
RayRayJones
"Ok, this is like… the BEST reason to hook up with someone. That sounds hilarious."
hashtagsugary
"Honestly that sounds so fun. Too bad I’ll probably never meet anyone with my name since it’s not technically a real name and I’ve never HEARD of another person being called that. My middle name is Ashley, though, and I tend to go by that in professional settings (I’m a guy, by the way) so I probably have a decent chance of trying that."
___sephiroth
That Night
"Almost dated in high school. Had a falling out in college and didn't talk for years until we both attended a mutual friend's wedding. We were the only single people there and neither wanted to go home empty-handed. So we didn't. That was about four years ago. We talk sporadically but we've only seen each other in person maybe once or twice since that night."
Current-Revolution-4
"Interesting that you’ve never developed it. In my personal experience knowing myself, if this were to happen to me, I’d so relive the moment in my mind and want to be with that person forever, assuming the action was good and the person is happy with me."
HamaDDisco
Wingman Issues
Barney Stinson Wingman GIFGiphy"She was hitting on my friend and he wasn’t down, so he said 'save me.' Reverse wingman lol."
SmokeAbeer
"Falling on a grenade for your comrade."
magcargoman
Bad ideas
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminéGiphy"My best friend (I'm Male she's Female) hadn't had sex in a year and asked me."
"We stopped being friends in any capacity after that."
cgulash
Feeling Unpretty
"I felt unattractive after my ex cheated on me and I needed someone to tell me I wasn't."
totalanomie
"Same-ish. Had a rough and very confusing breakup."
"She found me attractive and clearly was just looking for a little fun, with no attachment. We talked a lot and had a good time just being together, but we didn't really date. Just talked, sex, talked. It made me feel wanted again. She seemed to enjoy it and was clearly not interested in anything more than that. We parted as friends."
FaliedSalve
AOL Days
"Because she asked. I was visiting a friend in a different part of the state and she introduced me to one of her friends and she gave me my AOL username. This was back in the late 90s. 😉 A few days after returning home I received a message from that person asking for a one-night stand."
AnimeJoex
"A man has to comply to the AOL lady, it’s just sound reasoning."
hayitsnine
Truth
"I was emotionally compromised and wanted to use a person that I cared nothing about to make me feel better about a situation that I couldn’t fix."
Rounder057
"I appreciate your honesty. Honestly, 99% of people do this at one point in their life whether they admit to it or not. You're admitting to it, even if it’s anonymous, which says a lot Or maybe I’m just like you and want to feel better about myself and I’m just a crazy rando. Therapy here I come!"
dl-__-lp
Gotcha!
Wave Goodbye GIF by Beauty BrandsGiphy"He cheated on me with his roommate’s girlfriend. So obviously his roommate and I hooked up for some revenge. It was excellent and I regret nothing."
HighQueenMarcy
Might as well
"We were bored. This was in the mid '00s when smartphones were not a thing yet and people still used CD players and DVDs. We both had no money or place to go and after doing nothing but talking with each other for 3 days we felt like we knew each other pretty well. I remember her complaining that 'there's nothing to do out here.' So I jokingly said back 'Well we could always do each other.'"
"Expecting her to punch me in the arm like she did when I made a comment about her boobs growing when she was talking about needing to go bra shopping. However, instead, she just sighed and said 'We might as well.' Before getting up and going inside her grandma's apartment. At first, I was a little confused and thought she misheard me so I followed. However once I was inside and saw her taking off her shirt I knew she heard me perfectly well."
alanalot
Wow. Sex has people doing crazy things.
It maybe a wiser choice to think things through sometimes.
Or at least get a hobby or two.
These were explored when Redditor Fronzie7 quoted a famous music icon to ask:
"Frank Sinatra said, 'The best revenge is massive success' What's a real-life example of this?"
Everyone loves a good Hollywood ending.
You Know You've Made It When You're On A Lunchbox
"Michael J.Fox has a great story about when he started out. Some big wheel at the network didn't like him for the role of Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. He was too short, not cute, not heart throb enough, you're never going to see his face on a lunch box. But the producer cast him anyway and the show shot to number one and stayed there."
"Fox sent him a Family Ties lunch box with his face on it and then Back to the Future 1,2,3 lunch boxes."
– Hazelsmom64
A Rocky Start To An Amazing Career
"Sylvester Stallone as well. Casting agents told him he was too stupid looking and he'd only get small roles as the thug who got beaten up. He said he literally went to every casting agent in NYC and got rejected by all of them."
"Even after he wrote Rocky and found producers, they didn't want him to star in it."
– YounomsayinMawfk
The Dreamgirl Who Never Stopped Dreaming
"Jennifer Hudson lost American Idol and became more successful than the winner."
– Stashdragon
"She is a recent EGOT winner and the youngest woman to do it. 7th Place looks fantastic on her."
– jdmccoy
Against all odds, the end result was a victory for these accomplished individuals.
Home Surveillance Home Run
"The guy who invented Ring cameras went on Shark Tank and was rejected by everyone. They all thought it would fail….we’ll you know the rest."
– Ruzzthabus
"He went back on Shark Tank after that, but this time as one of the sharks."
– 1Land_1Keep
The Skies The Limit
"Ron McNair had the police called on him when he was little because he was black and reading in a library. He grew up to be an astronaut and the library he was kicked out of was later named after him."
– sperdush
"For those who may not be familiar with his name; he was one of the Challenger crew members on January 28, 1986."
– This-Marsupial-6187
Emerged From The Shallow
"When Lady GaGa was in college, some of her classmates had a Facebook group called 'Stefani Germanotta, you'll never be famous.'"
"Pretty sure she proved them wrong."
– NotHisRealName
Now these are smart business moves.
Recipe For Success
"Erin French, chef-owner of restaurant The Lost Kitchen in rural Maine."
"Co-owned a restaurant in the town of Belfast with her husband; a very tumultuous relationship ended with him changing the locks on the building with all of her equipment inside."
"She licked her wounds, leased space in an old mill building in her tiny hometown of Freedom, and built from the ground one of the best restaurants in the country, with a coveted reservation that is fabled for its difficulty to get a table. Has her own multi-season documentary on TV and is absolutely killing it in the culinary world now."
– Girhinomofe
A Toy Story
"George Lucas got the ownership of the toy rights to star wars because they don’t think it would be successful. He made an absolute killing on those."
– Birds-aint-real-
"Not just the toy rights, he got the entire IP in exchange for waiving is salary."
– xdert
Lamborghini Origin Story
"Italian industrialist, builder of tractors, made a mint out of it and rewarded himself with a new Ferrari."
"Ferrari broke down. Needed a new clutch. Wealthy industrialist waited patiently for his new clutch to arrive, and after many weeks it finally showed up - same clutch he was putting in his tractors, more than twice the price."
"A little bit annoyed at this, he rang Ferrari to complain. They told him 'go back to building tractors, leave supercars to us.'"
"And Lamborghini was born..."
– RaffiaWorkBase
Gaming Victory
"Sony and Nintendo were working on a console together before the N64 came out, intending to utilize Nintendo's gaming hardware combined with Sony's sound tech to create games with more immersive sound capabilities than have been seen before. Partway through development and immediately following Sony's announcement of their partnership, Nintendo backed out of the deal, which if you're not aware of Japanese business etiquette, is kind of a d*ck move."
"Nintendo backed out to work with Philips to put Nintendo games on the CDi, which resulted in the worst-received Nintendo games of all time."
"Sony, out of spite, went on to make the PlayStation, one of the best-selling consoles in gaming history, and cement themselves as a massive player in the console wars to this day."
– Critical-String8774
Be Kind And Rewind
"Blockbuster laughed baby Netflix out of the room with their idea. Then later, grown-up Netflix killed blockbuster."
– ChurroForSure-o
"Best thing for Netflix, really. Blockbuster would have driven themselves and the Netflix rent model out of business through mismanagement."
"I don't know about you, but I can't live in a world without Voltron: Legendary Defender."
– Tobias_Atwood
So what's the moral of the story?
Basically, always be kind and never make anyone feel less than they deserve. You never know what the future brings, and you putting down someone for your own fleeting gain will come back to haunt you.
Also, remember that karma works in mysterious ways.
Redditor Brianna6871 wanted to compare notes on what makes us all... over it, so they asked:
"What has caused you to become bitter?"
Becoming bitter is easy. I try to fight against it.
Loyalty is overrated...
Happy Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Being with my company for 8 years then finding out new people that I trained make more than me."
km8907
"If it makes you feel any better, this is very common. Loyalty is overrated. The more you stay, the more they take you for granted. I also made the same mistake."
sensiferum
K.I.T
"Attempting to stay in contact with friends and then realizing they wouldn’t do the same for you once you stop."
Snowgoosey
"I agree. I used (and still do, to some extent) to have the mentality of 'don't make it into a competition, if you care about someone- contact them!'" And I did. But after 10 times of being the one initiating the conversation I just wonder if they'd bother to do the same."
"Each time they say 'I've been meaning to call you!' and they never do. And I'm talking good friends who share history together, not someone I met a month ago at the gym. I still love them of course, but this bugs me and leaves a bitter taste whenever I think of them."
Michelle_Evelyn
Hard Pills
"Expectations. I had these expectations about how life was supposed to go, how I was supposed to be. Life didn't work out that way, and I know it was my own doing by having those expectations, but I'm still bitter about it."
edgarpickle
"I find that going from 'promising and intelligent young person' to 'average middle-aged man' has been a hard pill to swallow that snuck up on me. I will say that having a young child and great partner still gives me lots of joy and hope."
GarconMeansBoyGeorge
Burned Out
"Working in healthcare."
RemoteForeign3300
"Worked a decade in healthcare, seven years in the military and three as a civilian. Every professional I ever met, from the doctor on down to the nursing assistant, was burned out and sick of seeing patients. It was amazing I stayed as long as I did."
BroScience4LYFE
"Yes, I feel like part of me changed drastically because of this. Don't get me wrong, I really like to work in a hospital but sometimes it make me lose faith in humanity."
Yeny356
Life
Angry Aubrey Plaza GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Aging and realizing that good, kind people suffer and die far more often than the sh**heads of the world."
Josephdirte
Aging is a good thing but can be sad. Who doesn't miss the past?
Nothing to do...
I Have No Idea Reaction GIF by MTV Movie & TV AwardsGiphy"After realizing that hard work is not fairly rewarded. Someone else who is lazier and/or less competent can get something that you wanted/deserved, and there's nothing you can do about it."
kofed62181
The End
"The death of my wife."
Pitbull60usa
"I’m with you. My husband died 3 years and 4 days ago at the age of 42. It’s not just that your favourite person and best friend in the world is gone. It’s that everything you thought would be your future is gone too."
"Cancer f**king sucks."
Intelligent-Low6442
"Dude I'm so sorry I couldn't imagine. Just know she wouldn't want you to be bitter at the world. She would want you to be happy, easier said then done but do some s**t for you man maybe take a trip or something."
"Nothing will ever change the pain, but shaking life up might at least mix it up with other emotions. All the love!!"
knowledge-is-power91
The Past
"Realizing my childhood trauma left me unable to form meaningful relationships and now I have to invest a crap ton of money and time to maybe (!) achieve some sort of progress and peace. I envy the people who grew up with loving parents and have the confidence to choose good friends, partners and look at life with hope."
whatdrivesme_insane
Worse and worse...
"The unshakable hopelessness that the world is only getting worse and worse. No matter what we do to try and better ourselves financially will be met with some new corporate bullshi**ery that will knock us back down. I'm losing my motivation to keep pressing forward. I just want to retreat into my apartment and do what makes me happy until I die."
"Working on my masters in education right now, and as much as I want to teach in school, all the horror stories I see all over the place are making me wonder if this is the right choice. It really feels like I'm jumping into a bureaucratic hellhole, but I've invested this much time, money, and energy into this career that I have to see it through."
Cedrico123
Trust Fail
"My ex cheated on me. My job told me a bunch of lies to get me in the door and now I feel mistreated. Housing is a nightmare and landlords just take your application money and give the place to someone else. It feels like everybody is just out for themselves and I can’t trust what anyone says. I’m tired."
exhale358
Oh Humanity
Good Night No GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"People."
JimAbaddon
"The general public has gotten so much worse over the years. I really dislike having to interact."
NCBadAsp
Life can certainly get us down. Even if we try squeezing the lemons into lemonade, you tend to get some pulp in your eye.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments
Redditor Eyeso-pain- wanted to discuss everyone's scandalous moments of pride without care, so they asked:
"Redditors, What’s the most nsfw thing that you have done and don’t regret?"
Just telling a cold, hard truth is my mic drop.
Felt good.
Let's Chat
Pay Me Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Talked with my coworkers about our salaries."
ThaBossnian
"In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it."
elementus
Hey Ladies
"This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died."
RedHoneyBadger6
Smoking Hot
"I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock."
"I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight."
"She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married."
Storyteller678
NDA
"Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was 'don't ever freaking do that again... but nice job.'"
DrJOsterman
Some outfits make magic.
I like Home Depot
Heart Love GIF by Lowe's Home ImprovementGiphy"Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years."
glittereddaisy13
Let's Play
"Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well. Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected..."
Project_Legion
It Was Fun
"Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in."
"I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us."
Nippon-Gakki
48 Hours
"When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off."
"Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again."
solemn_penguin
Plus 2
Ariana Grande Singing GIF by The VoiceGiphy"My fiancée cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets."
rowenaravenclaw0
As savage as that move is... should y'all be married?
Do you have any stories to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Eslayer12 started a conversation about the past by asking everyone:
"Historians of reddit, what is the biggest 'f**k you' moment in history?"
There is so much more history to know. Tell us...
Gotcha
jack sparrow GIFGiphy"A pirate known as Jean Lefitte had a bounty of $500 put on him by a governor. So he put a $5,000 bounty on the Governor."
The-big-ouch
Otto
"When Otto von Bismarck was about 50, he was walking down a street when a man ran up to him and shot him five times. Otto then turned around and began to beat the absolute sh*t out of him until some armed guards come to help him. When they inspected Otto for wounds, they found that all 5 hit, but they all either just grazed him or bounced off his ribs. Literally the iron chancellor."
BrittleBandit
Toleration
"Morocco was the first country to recognize the independence of the United States, which was very nice of them, but the reason they did it was that they had a treaty with England which prevented them from tolerating or engaging in piracy against English ships. No such prohibition on American shipping."
CardboardSoyuz
Nothing
"Napoleon invited his brother in law to speak with him before his coronation as Emperor to remind the brother in law that he objected to Napoleon marrying Josephine because Napoleon would 'amount to nothing.'"
InFin0819
"My SIL 'joked' at our wedding that she'd 'give it two years.' We're three years in now and she's allegedly getting married to her current partner (much to her entire family's dismay, everyone hates him, including her son). Not sure if I want to make the same joke at her wedding or pull something like this and invite her to every subsequent anniversary party."
schneeblefish
Overkill
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"After the Restoration, the English dug up the body of Oliver Cromwell and hung, drawn and quartered the body, sticking the head on London Bridge."
_Happy_Camper
People are ruthless. Lord.
Call Me
dogs looking GIFGiphy"The first cell phone. The first call ever made from a cell phone was to a competitor's landline."
-Solarsoul-
SUP
"So when France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte (the first time), they didn’t think to change out military personnel. So he basically rolls up to the first French outpost he gets to, says 'sup' and begins reassembling an army. By the time he gets to Paris, he’s got enough forces that France is like 'Well. Welcome back.'"
Mr_Henslee
The 70's
"In the 1970s the small town of Vulcan, West Virginia asked for state funding to replace a bridge into town. The state legislature refused to grant Vulcan the funding they needed. Instead the town appealed to the Soviet Union for aid. After hearing about the request, the state legislature immediately granted over $1 million for the town to build a new bridge."
"If a small town in WV asking for soviet funding in the middle of the Cold War isn’t a big middle finger to the state government, then I don’t know what is."
NuggetBiscuits69
Against the Spanish...
"This is already one of my favorite threads in reddit history..."
"Galvarino: Chilean warrior who had both his hands cut off by the conquistadors for raising arms against the Spanish. Instead of letting himself serve as a message of helplessness in the face of the invaders the crazy b**tard strapped swords to his stumps and went on the warpath."
-Inaros
Mephisto
"I’m not an historian, but i know this WW1 fact: in 1918 during the battle of Villers-Bretonneux, major James Robertson made a plan to steal a german tank stuck in no man’s land. There was no point in getting it, because it was dangerous going out there and the tank wasn’t a threat to anyone."
"Not giving f**k about that he grouped with 12 other men to retrieve that tank, under machine gun fire and inside mustard gas, just to say to the german army 'Forget you, look what we got here.' Thanks to him and the other men, today that tank is the only original WW1 tank we have and it’s called 'Mephisto.'"
BootFromUsb
Friends
Fuck You Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Julius Caesar's death. At least he died surrounded by friends."
Dankestcat69
I remember none of this from school. Good to know.
Do you have any to add to the list? Let us know below.