Curious to explore this psychological perspective, one Redditor asked:
"What is the worst case of 'main character syndrome' you've ever encountered?"
Some people just get past themselves. Observe, exhibit A, B & C.
Odd Punishment
"An acquaintance of the family. She had a birth defect in her legs that made walking somewhat difficult. Not impossible at all. Just not something she could do a lot of."
"She had the ability to walk and climb stairs. I've seen her do both. She was awkward at it, but she could do it."
"I mention this because, apparently, at a niece's graduation she decided that her niece needed to help her to her seat. As in the niece was supposed to leave the ceremony part way through, come down off the stage in her robes, and escort this woman to her seat before going back."
"Well, as you might imagine, the school didn't seem willing to accommodate this. So other family members offered to help her. But, as it wasn't the attention grabbing stunt she wanted, she decided that the best way to punish her family was to seat herself. By flopping down in the floor and moaning and groaning as she crawled on all fours. As I understand it, her family was running along beside her and trying to help her up but she ignored them. Just did a belly crawl up the stairs and made a big show of it."
– semiloki
Neglectful Dad
"The husband of a friend of my told her he didn't really care for interacting with their two twin boys, and would just wait for them to grow older and would be able to talk about his pretty specific interests."
"They're no longer together."
– Smellmyupperlip
Playing The Victim
"I was briefly friends with a woman who could do no wrong. She was the victim 24/7 and everyone was out to get her. She saw other people as means to an end and would say whatever she wanted about them, accuse them of horrible sh*t, 'repeat' things they supposedly said about you to your face (she made it up or heavily exaggerated every time), and just in general use people."
"She told me within the first two weeks of us knowing each other that she was telling everyone we were best friends. When she moved away, she forgot I existed."
– an_ineffable_plan
Some people like to piggy back off of high-profile family members.
Famous By Association
"Local celebrities are pretty bad. Their spouses and families are even worse. The only time I’ve heard 'Do you know who I am?' in the wild was when the wife of the local weatherman was arguing with a clerk at the grocery store."
– Old_Army90
Papa Mayor
"When I was in high school (20+ years ago), I was on my school's speech and debate team. I frequently had to compete against the daughter of our city's mayor. We went to different schools but competed in the same event, so I frequently had rounds with her."
"I swear, every conversation with her was 'My daddy, the mayor, said that...', 'My daddy, the mayor, is going to...', 'My daddy, the mayor, believes...'"
"She could not mention her father without mentioning that he was the mayor."
"One day, I was tired of her bullsh*t. While we waited for the judge to arrive and our round to start, she started in with 'My daddy, the mayor,...' again."
"'Who is your dad?,' I asked."
"'Ummm...he's the mayor,' she said."
"What's his name?"
"[NAME]. You know, the MAYOR!"
"Huh...never heard of him. He must not be that famous."
"I'd thought her head was going to explode. Good times."
– Faustus_Fan
Scandalous
"Went to high school with the mayor’s daughter too. She acted similarly. My dad this and my dad that. Our senior year it came out that both of her parents abused public office and committed fraud. Last I remember her mom had to serve her sentence out in weekends and her dad went to jail for a bit too. She was pretty quiet after that."
– mascarrowette
No Match For The Waiter
"I heard a 'Do you know who I am?' from a middling local DJ a while back. Without missing a beat, the tired af waiter responded something like 'You're an NPC in my story.' While Mr. High Horse blue-screened hard at that response, the waiter simply turned away and walked over to take a different table's order."
– TravisVZ
Some people are just so desperate for validation.
An Ex-Wife's List Of Claims
"My ex-wife. I could write a damn novel about her. Some highlights:"
"Dropping out of college repeatedly. Then claiming to be educated in psychology because she watches YouTube. Her major was geology."
"Thinking businesses should be proud to serve her."
"Claiming to be a filmmaker. She made a costume for 1 very bad horror movie. But she was an industry insider because she once dated a director."
"Claims she 'saved' Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar."
"Throwing a tantrum at any wedding/graduation/ birthday. Including her own. Side note. Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her."
"This is getting long but one more. Her favorite saying. 'Put me in charge of the world, I'll fix some sh*t.' Don't you dare ask her to elaborate."
"ETA: it's been 13 hours since I posted this and I'm blown away by the support and validation. Thank you, kind reddit strangers. Y'all are awesome."
"So, the story of Ryan Seacrest. This supposedly happened before I met her. So this is a retelling of a retelling. It was decades ago when he was hosting American Idol. She ran into him in a bar in Hollywood and proceeded to tear him apart for his style (her words). Saying he needs to grow up and act his age. Evidently, he got pissed and avoided her. Then, 6-12 months later, he's hosting E entertainment wearing a 'respectable' suit. She takes credit for shaming him into 'growing up' and dressing appropriately for his age. Never mind that he landed a new gig that required a different image. In her mind, she influenced his image that landed him his contract. So she saved his career because a moderately attractive blond shamed him into changing. I wish I was making this up."
– AgingLeatherneck
Upstaging The Bride And Groom
"My MIL and SIL who cried and HOWLED during our wedding ceremony acting like it was a funeral."
– Angry_Custurd
Exploiting A Photo Opp Moment
"About a year ago. Trying to board a flight and a couple held us up so that Main Character could get a series of photos in a series of poses standing at the top of the boarding stairs like some 1960s JetSet starlet in St Tropez."
"This was not First Class transcontinental glamour flight, this was a 4 hour Budget Ryanair flight from the Canaries to the UK."
"After being forced into the plane by the cabin staff who kept standing in the shot trying to get the plane boarded (Ryanair do not mess around with their fast turnaround) and also by angry people trying to squeeze past boyfriend/cameraman and getting in the shot. She then proceeded to stand in the aisle during taxi for take off just after the safety brief to get more photos. After threats of returning to the terminal and being put off the flight she sat down."
"Nothing says a classy instagram model like the Ryanair colour scheme."
– Magnus_40
Look, we all have our insecurities.
It's one thing to behave in a way that will disguise our vulnerabilities to make us appear confident.
But it's another thing to act out in spite of them and make ourselves look like self-serving misanthropes.
Curious to hear what others experienced in an attempt to identify the abuse Redditor TheBeardedAntt asked:
"What’s a form of mental abuse that no one really talks about?"
Constantly not getting validated eventually chips away at your confidence.
Dismissed
"When someone consistently undermines your interests and goals and mocks you for them."
– sisan9179
Undermined
"Constantly undermining someone or second guessing someone. My brother does this on a regular basis about big, small or totally irrelevant stuff. At first I didn't think much of it but after a long time it started to make me not be able to make decisions properly because I was always told my decisions were wrong. It took a lot of time to come to the conclusion that even if my decisions are wrong, they're MY decisions and I'm learning from my own mistakes."
– gacaji396
Slow Torture
"Death by a thousand paper cuts."
"When you finally crack, as you should since you are literally being tortured, they paint you as the crazy one. They also cut you in private, until they know you are at your breaking point, then do something seemingly innocuous in public to cause you to explode."
"Some people are really good at it. My mother was very good at it, much to my mother-in-laws chagrin. My MIL is an idiot compared to my mother, so her attempts just look stupid and amateurish to me."
– Canopyflyer
Piling On The Guilt
"Definitely guilt tripping. Both of my exes used to take everything I did 'wrong' as a personal attack and used it to try to make me feel guilty. I want to see my best friend instead of them today? Oh, you must not love me. I didn’t get the right order from Starbucks? You must not care enough to remember the right order. Even worse is when I’m mad at something they did and they use me being mad to guilt trip me, leading to me having to apologize for something they did!"
"I see it all the time and nobody calls people out for doing this, but it really infuriates me."
– TheMagnificentBean
Not all adults are fit for parenting.
Ignored
"Neglect. People always talk about abuse. But neglect, as humorous as it may sound gets neglected. When I was a teenager I would regularly go missing for days. I'd purposely dip out and go to friends houses with a packed bag and tell their parents my mom said it was ok for me to stay for a week."
"My friends parents must've understood no one cared about me at home and would oblige me and let me stay. I'd return home after a few days and see if anyone knew I was gone. After asking if they knew I wasn't home I'd always get a "No, you were out? Oh well that's nice." Once I left for 10 days. I snuck back in that time thinking they have to know I wasn't home and I would be in trouble. I came in through the back door and could clearly hear my mom and stepdad watching TV and enjoying themselves. I break it to them that I wasn't home for 10 days after questioning them in regards of whether they noticed I was gone. They tell me "We thought you were in your room." I was 16 at the time."
– BuildingRelevant7400
Not Fine
"Yeah, you are correct, it f'ks with your head pretty bad. Once as a teenager I stayed up all night with stomach ache and spent the morning puking, after brown ooze came up I figured f'k this I want to go to the hospital, so I tell my mother and she just brushes it off 'you are fine'."
"I call my friend and his mother takes me to the hospital and I have my appendix removed. Anyhow, I already distrusted my mother but after this I knew to never count on her. It was not a question of means, we have free healthcare, middle class etc."
– blissone
Abandoned
"Same. My parents once left me alone at 11 for 2 weeks to go on vacation. Never checked up on me and I skipped school the entire time. Finally found out a year later and when they asked how I just said 'no one ever asked.' They gave me rules like I 5 minutes to talk to them after school because I was 'annoying.' I couldn’t see for years because they’d forget that I needed glasses."
"It lead me to develop selective-mutism and I spent most of my childhood on my own and disappearing for long periods of time. If I had an issue I learned to either deal with it myself or be silent about it. Many relatives and friends parents along the way that would 'adopt' me and would basically teach me how to be a functioning person. I grew up too fast yet also lacked basic social skills:knowledge (at one point I was tested for autism because of it). I opened up more later on but I still have those habits that creep in once in a while."
– dylandbloom
"Fear-Based Parenting"
"Any kind of fear based parenting."
"I remember how you made me feel when I was small and vulnerable. I was afraid. No you didn’t hit me that hard, but that’s by adult standards. To me you were a giant 3 times my size."
"If a child is afraid of you they won’t trust you. Ever."
– burn-babies-burn
Ticking Off Boxes
"Being brought up by parents who think that if you’re fed, watered & clothed that’s their responsibilities completed."
– Vyvyansmum
Too Controlling
"Not allowing children to make choices."
"I was raised by parents who dictated most decisions. Making good choices is a necessary skill. I think children raised this way do not develop a sense of autonomy. I have a terrible time making decisions, and I don't care about many things like color choices, food, recreation, and more important life choices like partners and occupations. It is harder to find pleasure in life when choices are based on what you dislike the least."
– wastedintime
The people you bring into your life may not always be who you had hoped they were.
Invaded
"Getting rid of your stuff without asking. Filming you without asking. Going through your phone and belongings without asking. Nothing f'ks up your trust more than your privacy constantly being invaded. Thousands of pictures, gone. All my social media, gone. Almost all my contacts, gone. My jacket I got for Christmas, gone. All without my knowledge or permission."
"EDIT: My EX did all of this sh*t. My parents are lovely and would never do such awful things."
– isabellla321
Walking On Thin Ice
"Living with a narcissist and never knowing what will set them off. Did you say something in the wrong tone? Did you have a good day and want to talk about it? It's like walking on thin ice all of the time and it's stressful because you never know what will set them off."
– stazib14
Money Matters
"Financial abuse. I didn't even know it was a legitimate thing until recently."
– peachpinkjedi
"I wish more people recognized it as ACTUAL abuse. It's insidious and controlling and manipulative. Just because it's not physically painful or make someone actually cry doesn't mean it isn't."
– ephemeralkitten
As a kid, I always thought being constantly ridiculed for being "different" and "a sissy" and subjected to lots of name-calling and racial slurs were unbearable enough to make me want to vanish.
The emotional bullying was so torturous, I remember thinking I would have rather taken several punches to the face instead.
Words hurt. Words matter.
Reading through some of these examples is a good reminder we should be cautious with how we use them.
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Curious to hear examples of what sets people off, Redditor Obese-Feline asked:
"What is a small insignificant thing that makes you really mad?"
New tech can be very cool, but sometimes, our lives can be complicated because of it.
Password Fail
"My password failing 3x, the site requiring me to create a new password, and then when I choose the password I just tried, the site says I 'can't use the current password.'"
"Infuriating."
– AtheneSchmidt
Tricky Ads
"When you’re trying to click something on a webpage and an ad pops up between the moment your brain tells your thumb to apply pressure and your finger touches the screen."
– Uniqueisha
"When the ads on a YouTube video don't buffer but the actual video does."
– GengarIsLife
Bathroom Ineptitude
"Showers with confusing hot/cold handles. Automatic bathroom faucets that dont register your hand/motion."
– Latter-Ad6779
Conditional Environmentalism
"In the same vein - when bathrooms only have those disgusting air hand dryers that don’t even dry your hands. They’re so unsanitary. And then you have to touch the bathroom door handle with wet hands."
"Businesses will be so wasteful and not give a single f'k about the environment in any other way, but suddenly when it comes to providing paper towels to dry your hands, they’re all save the trees."
– KATEWM
The Auto-Preview
"Netflix...the way it just starts playing the preview or clip of whatever's on the screen. I don't know why but it irritates the hell out of me. I just want to browse in peace."
– ethottly
Our negligence can humble us right quick.
Caught Unawares
"When I walk past a door and my belt loop or clothing gets caught on the handle."
"1-100 real quick."
– GSG_2022
Wrong Pipe
"Taking a sip of water and choking on it. The next 2 hours of coughing and clearing my throat are just MAGICAL."
– AuroraMeridian
The Detour
"Leaving work only wanting to go home, and noticing I have to spend extra time getting gas."
– BrandanMentch
The things others do can be a real pet peeve.
Thanks For The Signal. Or Not
"people not using turn signals."
– Rainn_boww13
"Just 15 minutes ago I was impressed that a cab driver used his left signal at a 4-way stop so I figured I could cross safely on my side of the street."
"Naw, he just drove straight through and nearly hit me, not making any use of his left turn signal."
– Prize_Guest
Grocery Parking Etiquette
"When someone parks next to the grocery cart return area but doesn't put up their grocery cart."
"I'm like, two more steps and one small push and you're literally done with the cart. I don't get it."
– Twisted_NaeNae
Annoying Favors
"Someone telling me to do something when I was just about to do it. It’s childish but it pisses me off so much lol."
– rapey_chef
I can't stand it when people willingly do the things that annoy them.
Like boarding the subway before commuters get off at their stop. They'll block the doorway to give themselves the advantage of getting a seat on the train.
When I'm in a rush and a pathway isn't open for me and the stream of other straphangers also rushing to debark behind me, I'm this close to using my elbow instead of my voice to warn door guards to clear the way.
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I've seen so many relationships go up in flames because of philandering. And the saddest part is, it all could've been avoided. Everyone else can see when it's not working, why are we so blind when we're the willing participants? I will admit, I have cheated more than once and I finally had to realize that I was never being fulfilled personally. And that was on me to fix. Some of the people on this chain feel that pain.
Bad Moment
immediate regret. Issues with commitment, self esteem issues, etc. (They're probably cheating too, what if we break up and never find anyone, what if this persons actually "the one")
Obviously, load of horsecrap looking back at it, and I hurt a few people. Terrible terrible decision.
I get so Emotional...
I'd say I emotionally cheated on my ex. Mostly what was going through my mind was "Crap, I think I'm falling in love with someone else. Crap. What do I do? Crap."
I'd say that's really only a problem if you don't break it off.
You're not required to stay in love, just to treat your partner with respect while you're in a relationship (and, ideally, after as well).
The problem is when you're in love with one person, and infatuated with another. That is rough, because obviously you still love the first person... But infatuation is the new-car-smell part of a relationship, and even when you know it's short-lived, it's still very seductive.
The Home Wrecker
I was in one of the best relationships with a childhood friend, if you know, those are the best ones. We were both in our mid twenties and my brother was murdered, in front of me. It was insanely traumatic and it messed me up.
I fell into a deep pit where I would do anything to feel.. anything. My ex reached out to me and wanted to have sex, she is a straight up home wrecker and gets off on it.
I fell for it and didn't even question the decision. It didn't even feel like a decision, I was so messed up I was like a jellyfish in the waves just getting taken anywhere. But now I know it was a decision, and the worst one I've ever made.
WTF?!!?!!
Despicable Me Reaction GIFGiphyI didn't cheat but my ex gf did. She preferred my brother rather than me because he was good-looking. They're married now. I know it cuz my brother invited me to his wedding to be his best man. Forget that!!
"This person desires me."
I thought "This person desires me."
I think it's honestly that simple for most people who cheat. Sure many people cheat just because they want to have sex, but I think the core reason for most people cheating is they simply don't feel desired by their significant other.
Like the start of any relationship people become interested in each other and the key feeling people experience is that wonderful feeling of being desired by another person. It makes you feel good looking, smart, strong. Knowing that this person wants to be with me is one of the best feelings in the world.
After a while that wears off in many cases. Eventually you take the other person for granted and they take you for granted. When that happens and your SO stops making you feel desired, you might start looking for that elsewhere. So even though you are in love with your SO and have a great relationship, they probably don't act like they want to be with you like they did in the beginning. Life becomes the same old same old.
Then someone else notices you and starts paying attention to you, giving you that sense of being desired again. You start seeing what you have been missing in the eyes of someone else.
I know that's what it was like for me many many years ago. I stopped feeling desired and when someone else showed that desire towards me, I foolishly followed it.
I have been happily married and 100% faithful for a long time to an amazing woman. I never fail to make sure she knows how much I desire her. Not because I don't want her to cheat, I trust her. I do it because I don't want her to ever feel like she isn't desired, that I take her for granted. And she makes me feel the same, every day.
Oof, that is a whole bunch of mess to process and fix. First... clearly some humans are just trash and beyond repair. I pray that a lot of you realize that in the end, they did you a favor and you dodged a bullet. Heck, a hailstorm of bullets. Next time, just go in with your eyes wide open. Maybe some other people fared better...
Insecure
I cheated because I was insecure and liked the validation that I got. It was a terrible ego-based decision that ended up hurting my partner terribly and making me feel even worse about myself. I have since quit drinking and worked on building self-esteem that is not dependent on my sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex.
When in HS
I was just out of high school and learning about relationships and sex. I went on a vacation and had an opportunity to have sex for the third time in my life with no way of my gf finding out, so I did it. I felt bad the whole time. When I came back, I broke up with her the next time I saw her. Cheating is certainly something I'll only do once. Still wish I'd never done it.
Hindsight
Oh I Get It Britney Spears GIFGiphyGuilt, disgust and self loathing. Looking back I know I was in a toxic relationship and should have left him but cheating on him felt like a chunk of my soul was ripped out. Not worth it and will never do again.
Leave the Poison...
A friend of mine cheated because he was being physically and mentally abused by his girlfriend. He found someone who was patient, kind, and gentle with him that he just fell deep and cheated. Said he never knew someone could be this way with him. He did his ex a service and admitted everything and broke up with her, even though she already knew some way or another. Lots of fights, but he never touched her. He came out with a bloody lip and a black eye. He is now with the new girl and they've been together for 5 years, happy and planning on marrying.
She is Trash...
girl bye no GIFGiphyA friend of mine cheated on her long distance boyfriend for months, with a super attractive guy at our university. When the bf finally came to visit, everyone had to pretend they didn't know about the cheating, but we ALL did.
The bf found out eventually, of course. He texted me "is she cheating on me with this dude?" And I said "no comment" which was enough.
The crazy thing is that she TRULY believed she did nothing wrong. She told everyone that it didn't count because her boyfriend was her first love and that would never change, blah blah. Horrible to not have a shred of remorse.
Combinations...
Combine low self esteem with an alcohol problem, and an honest belief that everyone would cheat given opportunity. I thought cheating was just a way to prove "you can't hurt me." I'm ashamed of the people I've hurt in my life. I still haven't figured it all out yet, but I'm working with my therapist to become a better person.
At 18 (f) I started working in an industry dominated by men and the number of guys that tried to pick me up was astronomical.
Didn't seem to matter if they were married or not, or old enough to be my father. It really screwed with my trust in people, especially men. I honestly believed that everyone would cheat and some people were just sneakier. So if my partner was going to cheat I might as well too. I realized way too late that if everyone I hung around with was willing to cheat it meant I was hanging around the wrong people.
Stay Calm
Pray Good Vibes GIF by Ryn DeanGiphyMy ex and i had troubles regarding my usage of a certain substance to calm your mind. at one point i was in a club with my then best friend (who also had a gf) and we both started dancing with these chicks.
the one i was dancing with took my hand and took me to the toilet to do whatever. i refused to even kiss her in that stall and left. i didn't tell her but it was on my mind all the time. i cheated on my ex 1 week later with 3 different girls when i was drunk and thought it'd be over anyways. when i woke up the next morning i remembered and it felt like a movie to me. had to break the news to her. never again.
Enjoy!
Nothing. Maybe a sociopath answer but legitimately nothing. It wasn't this over arching fear like oooh I better stop or else, it was legitimately not thinking of anyone or anything else just, "I want to enjoy the moment" I mean as far as sex. Emotionally becoming invested in someone is a slow burn with a quick pop.
You don't realize how far you've strayed until it's too late. You're having fun, you're just enjoying conversations and talking and then the next thing you know you realize it's not with your significant other but with this other person.
The self realization is the killer.
Tit for Tat
I cheated on him because he cheated on me first. We had not broken up yet, but as far as i was concerned it was over. I wanted to cheat just to show him that he was vulnerable to being cheated on, regardless of how big his ego was. He thought he could do what he want while no one would ever dare do the same to him.
She Trash
My soon to be ex cheated on me with the next door neighbor and subsequently ran off with him. She threw me away like a piece of trash (16 yrs together and 2 kids). I'm not angry (sarcasm). Anyway, I asked her "I understand the emotional feelings snuck up on you, but the first time you had physical contact, why didn't you stop and say, hey, this is not right?"
Her answer: "because it was fun."
And that, boys and girls, is why she's my soon-to-be-ex.
On a side note, I was thinking today that I feel sorry for her. Once a cheater always a cheater. They can never have a 100% trusting relationship because they both know that if things get tough the other person is perfectly capable of cheating on them. There will always be that tiny doubt in the back of their minds. Not a good foundation to build a relationship.
Excuses
no excuses GIF by Meghan TrainorGiphyAlcohol and horniness also i was and probably still am a bad person
Oh and opportunity.
Years Later
My best friend cheated on his fiancee and when I asked him this same question, he told me that he was unhappy. He still didn't leave her and I know there's a lot of guilt there but, 2 years later, they are still together, not married, and have a kid.
Stay Quiet
I thought we had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy because we hadn't had sex with each other in years.
Turns out I was the only one who thought that.
The words seem absurd as I type them now. Who would have that deal without discussing it?
(Now I am in an open relationship, which is much more my style).
Physical
It was the least bad thing I could do.
My wife was completely dependent on me, but she was also a completely neglectful spouse. I tried all of the right ways to address the situation: books, therapist, good communication. I tried for years and years. She just had zero interest in my sexual needs but was utterly incapable of sustaining herself in any way if I left her and had no interest in changing that.
So I reached out for some physical comfort, knowing full well how wrong and bad it was. I never tried to justify it and say it was a good thing. I know I'm a crap human being and I don't know if I can live with myself if she found out because of the pain it would cause.
Cycle Back
i know this isn't even the question but my ex literally cheated on me with my best friend and ironically he got cheated on with his best friend before so that was something.
Love can be a poison. So we need to be drinking more water. Moral of the story: If you're going to cheat... be decent and tell your partner it's not working. And that it's YOU, not them.
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