Married People Explain Why They Picked Out Their Specific Engagement Ring
Reddit user ClassicJogging asked: 'Married people of reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?'
With the elaborate costs of the wedding industry, starting with the engagement ring and going all the way up through the honeymoon and anniversary plans, there are those who will spend all the money and those who will look for savings.
While getting married is absolutely worth spending the money on, how much money is spent is not necessarily reflected of how much the two people love each other, either. It's all up to the couple!
Redditor ClassicJogging asked:
"Married people of Reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?"
A Special Bond
"My grandmother pulled me aside five minutes after meeting my now wife, then girlfriend, for the first time, that she really loved her and she would fit right into our family. They had a REALLY good bond for a couple of years before my grandmother passed."
"Her last wish was that I use her engagement ring from 1945 (my grandfather proposed the day the Germans left Norway) when I asked for marriage. I did, she said yes, and we have been happily married for a good few years now."
- Panzerpython
Perfectly Vintage
"I was asked if I wanted a ring... and I surprised myself by saying that I did even though I'm not a jewelry person."
"So we went shopping and I hated all the jewelry store rings. We decided to check out antique stores and we found a cool-looking '50s vintage diamond ring with an illusion setting (makes tiny stone look bigger). It fit. It was $300. It was perfect."
- RitaTome
Recreated Art
"I love vintage rings, specifically art deco style, and had a whole Pinterest board of ones I loved. But it turns out I have giant fingers and most vintage rings are much smaller. Yes, you can size up, but only by so much."
"So my now husband surprised me by getting a ring custom-made in the same style. I adore it and get so many compliments."
- angeliqu
A Last Wish
"My mother was dying of cancer and gave me her engagement ring to give to my wife. It was a low-profile diamond from 1965. I think my father paid $275 for it at Eaton’s."
"We just celebrated our 25th last week. She still wears it daily."
- JustsomeAudioGuy
Full of Memories
"$140, I wanted a more expensive ring for her, but she insisted that I use that money for the wedding."
"I ended up going with a silver ring that looks like the branches of a tree, it has one large amethyst in the middle and two smaller ones in the branches to the side."
"When I saw it, it immediately reminded me of the date we went on when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."
"We got up early to go to an orchard that was a little while away, the whole ride, she was talking about how frustrated she was with work and I was so happy to be listening to her talk and to spend time with her. We spent all day at the orchard, we got lunch at the farmer's market, went on a hayride, went to a petting zoo, and we picked pumpkins then picked apples as the sun was just starting to get low."
"From there, we went a haunted trail on a ski trail that took us up the hill in a ski lift and we had to walk down. As we went up the hill, we got the most amazing view of the sunset and I knew had found my better half, because I couldn't even imagine anyone else that I would want to watch the sunset with."
- TabbyCabby
Because Science
"My wife is a chemist and agronomist. She was working on her master's in agronomy and part of her thesis project had to do with cobalt and molybdenum."
"So I got her a cobalt chrome engagement ring (which happens to also be 6% molybdenum). For the stone, I went with a manufactured sapphire, because science."
"She absolutely loves it. Cost me less than $300."
- surdophobe
Substantial Savings
"I worked for the jeweler store. I had about a steep discount. I chose five options and let him pick from there since I had to technically buy it. He picked my favorite."
"It is a one-carat ruby set in rose gold, and I love it. Retail it would be around $5000, but for me, it was $900."
"I wanted a ruby as I did not want a diamond, and I am a big history buff."
- Nancy2121
A Good Listener
"My Fiancé remembered that in Freshman year of college, I mentioned I would only take a lab diamond (clear or black), and my dream ring had a specific gemstone on either side of the main stone."
"Fall 2018 to December 2022 and he remembered every detail. From one conversation. He is a blessing and I love my ring."
- Trumpet6789
Post-Engagement Ring
"I couldn’t afford an engagement ring when we got married. It’s been a few years and now I can, so I’m working on a custom ring with a local jeweler we’ve worked with a bunch already. The concept is a subtle subversion of traditional engagement ring tropes and will cost around a grand USD."
- DeepFriedApples
Groceries > Rings
"She gave me pictures of a few rings she wanted. All sapphires, no diamonds. I got one of those for $120. Probably worth in the $200 range today."
"She specifically did not want the 'two months' salary' standard. She would refuse a ring that was expensive enough that somebody would be willing to cut off her hand in order to steal it."
- CaptainTime5556
Important Family Heirlooms
"It was my grandmother's and it was awesome and it was free and she loved it."
- Knute5
"Grandma's club checking in. I was having sort of a deep philosophical moment with this question about how I guess it technically cost me my grandma. But then I had a burrito."
- Hammand
Worth the Pricetag
"Love the shaming on this thread for anyone who spent more than $24.99 on a ring."
"$18k because it’s the only expensive thing she’s ever asked me for and it makes her happy every single day. One year interest-free financing softened the financial blow considerably."
"To each their own! Don’t shame people for spending their money how they choose on the ones they love!"
- Son_Of_A_Plumber
Yay for Pinterest Boards
"My wife had a bunch of floral style rings on her Pinterest page, so I went and got one custom designed from a local jeweler."
"They suggested Moissanite (synthetic diamond) to keep costs down and appearance up. I got three times the stone for half the price of a real diamond. Well worth it. Total ran about 3k for the engagement ring."
- bighairyyak
Everybody's Happy
"I chose the shape of the stone, he chose the actual diamond (size, quality, etc), and then we went shopping together to choose the setting."
"It was a lovely experience! I got a ring I love which I will wear forever and he got to control the situation and feel comfortable with a large component of the cost to keep within his budget."
- jvldmn
Très Relatable
"My wife liked it. 15k."
- BabyTunnel
"All the top voted answers are just cheap rings or inheritance. So I am glad someone posted something else. Although maybe there is something below but Reddit might just upvote certain answers more."
- Additional_Meeting_2
"Dude. Finally a comment in here I can relate to."
"My wife liked it. 12k."
"No hate to the lab-grown, or the many blue and yellow special stones in this thread. But d**n, it makes it sound like the norm! In my experience and my friends' circles…. It’s just diamonds from the jewelry store lol (laughing out loud)."
- howmanywhales
This thread was a great example of "to each their own." Where some will want an expensive ring, others will want something incredibly simple, just like some will want an extravagant wedding whereas others will want to go to the courthouse and have a nice dinner after.
These decisions don't make one couple or one marriage or one love better than the other. They simply reflect that they're different partnerships, and as long as both people are happy, who cares how anyone else would handle it?
The Absolute Worst Ways To Propose To Your Partner
Reddit user aloe_veracity asked: 'What is the worst possible way to propose?'
From our friends and families' own cringy stories, to the tales captured on social media, we've all witnessed our fair share of proposals that totally missed the mark or were just plain awkward.
In fact, most of us have come across so many of these stories, we all have an idea of what the worst proposal in the world would be.
Redditor aloe_veracity asked:
"What is the worst possible way to propose?"
Stealing the Spotlight
"At someone else's wedding or wedding reception."
- N-y-s-s-a
"I had to stop my friend from doing that. One of the nicest dudes ever, just a little naive."
"Fortunately, this was before the wedding, I didn’t slap the ring out of his hand or anything like that. I just very clearly told him it was a bad idea whilst at the pub."
- Polite_as_h**l
Clearly a Subplot from 'Grey's Anatomy'
"Arrange a fancy date night with your girlfriend, including dinner at a posh restaurant."
"In the middle of the meal, fake a brain aneurysm. Bite into a concealed blood pack, collapse, and fall onto the floor, the whole bit. A 'doctor' or a 'nurse' planted at an adjacent table rolls you onto your back, checks you, and says that you're not breathing and you have no pulse."
"He or she rips open your shirt to apply a defibrillator... revealing, 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' written on your chest in red body paint."
"Pull out the ring, and say, 'I can't live without you, baby.'"
- Thatimensfaa
So Romantic
"Chucking the ring at them and saying, 'Here, wear this.'"
- Kai6180
"My friend got engaged like this and thought it was so cute for some reason. They did not last."
- Bada**Bumblebee
Wedding Dress Included
"My mom told me that my cousin’s girlfriend got tired of waiting for him to propose (apparently he said he would but hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it) that she straight up bought a wedding dress and told him they were getting married."
"He said, 'Okay.'"
"I believe they’ve been married for about 20 years now."
- PorkrindsMcSnacky
So Nervous
"My husband proposed to me while I was driving. At night. On a very busy, twisting road."
"He had a big proposal planned but then got super nervous and kind of just blurted out the proposal while we were in the car."
"We celebrate our 25th anniversary this fall. My thought was if I had the power to make him THAT nervous, I was in a pretty solid position."
"Honestly, it's not how you're asked; it's who's doing the asking."
- Neener216
Worth Waking Up For
"Mine might be the worst. I was a broke 19-year-old and thought that if I can't spend money on a good proposal, I'd go with the element of surprise."
"I woke her up at 3:00 AM and gave a speech about how we were going to be together forever and propose."
"Her response: ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME...'"
"We've been married 14 years this October."
- the_navillus
Red Flags in the Morning
"I got woken up an hour before my alarm clock rang. He just came home from visiting his parents for the weekend."
"No elaborate speech, just a 'Now or later?'"
"Me, being an unarticulated zombie for the first hour after being woken up, managed to mumble, 'Now.'"
"I got the ring stuck on my finger. It was slightly too small. And then I just went to work."
"Later that day, he reminded me that I still 'have to' say yes. Of course I did."
"A day later, colleagues figured out he never asked. He just demanded. So I told him to ask me, but he said since I already said yes, he didn't need to."
"After a little back and forth, he asked."
"I should have seen that red flag waving in front of my face, but it took two years to see it."
- Mondfairy
Practical Purposes Only
"This is the story of how my parents got engaged."
"Dad: Hey, you should move in with me."
"Mom: No. Not until we're married."
"Dad: Okay. Fine. Let's get married."
"Mom: Wait. Are you seriously asking me like this?"
"Dad: Yes. Why not. Marry me and then you can move in with me."
"And then they got married."
"It did not go well."
- biddily
Short and Sweet
"Proposing via text."
- Salty-Entertainer-29
"will u marry me?"
"k."
- aloe_veracity
Public Proposals
"For me personally, the worst would be any grand gesture around people. I’d rather you ask during a cozy night on the couch."
"My ex and I just talked and knew we were going to do it. We picked up the ring together and were walking out of the store. He bent down on his knee at a bench, and no one was paying attention. I’ll never forget how precious that was to me."
"I was at a large music festival last year and saw a guy propose to his girl quietly in the back of a crowd. No one seemed to notice that either, but I saw it and started crying to myself at how beautiful it was. She was snuggling into him the whole rest of the set."
- ApprehensiveBanana07
Quite the Rebound
"Say the wrong name. Other than that, you'll be fine."
- shipsaway9
"Something similar happened to a family friend. Someone she met online proposed to her within weeks of meeting her with a gorgeous diamond ring."
"She got caught in the moment and said, 'Yes.' It was at a fairly busy restaurant and everyone started clapping and cheering for them."
"When she got home, she took off the ring to send us a photo of it, and that's when she noticed that there was someone's else initial engraved on the inside."
"Turns out that the guy's ex-fiancee had broken up with him just months before their wedding. He met my friend online and decided to ask her to marry him instead out of spite and possibly because he didn't want to lose his deposit on the wedding venue and catering."
- Dane_k23
Fooled Ya
"Propose after being caught cheating."
- BeneficialSomewhere
The Argument to Win Them All
"While in an argument about wanting the get married, bring out the ring and just say, 'Here.'"
"A friend of a friend was 'proposed' to this way and thought it was the cutest. The red flags were waving themselves."
- royal_rose_
A Different Take
"Propose from prison."
- No-Art-9083
"Propose in prison."
- aloe_veracity
"Propose ON TOP of a prison."
- Ok_Wave_7359
A Jarring Experience
"Shock them by proposing to them right after they've told you that they've lost their job."
- BroadcasterX
Proposing or being proposed to is supposed to be one of the most special moments in a couple's life, signifying all that is to come. Imagining how someone could approach this moment in some of these ways is really staggering.
People Break Down The Least Suspicious Way To Get Their Significant Other's Ring Size
Confession: I love proposals. To a possibly unhealthy level.
Seeing someone be into someone enough to voluntarily be with them very early in the morning (like pre-coffee early, for you hot bean water addicts) every day for forever ... it's a beautiful thing that warms the icy cockles of my jaded little heart!
The homies (and the algorithm) know how much I love them and keep my feed deliciously filled with videos for me to cry about.
My favorites usually involve creatives proposing by leaning into their craft; like creating a film, a video game, portrait, and whatever you'd call this guys Google Earth masterpiece. I can't handle it. There will be tears, whether or not I know these people.
I've cried at proposals that I knew d*mn well were staged for photoshoots because I was part of the crew that organized it in the first place!
Having a reputation as a love-loving weirdo tends to make you the first person your friends call when they decide they want to propose. I've helped plan a weirdly high number of proposals for someone who has never proposed to anyone and isn't a professional.
By far, the biggest thing any of my friends stressed about was getting their partners' ring size without blowing the surprise.
Reddit user sept2two asked:
"What is the most non-suspicious way to get your girlfriends ring size?"
I'll give you my biggest tip at the end. Let's hear what Reddit has to say first.
Try Them On
"My husband wears rings and wanted to try mine on even though I have small fingers while he has 'big Shrek fingers.' "
"When he saw how small they were he laughed and was like 'what size is this?!' I told him and 1 year and 6 months later he proposed to me!"
"I was shocked he remembered the size because he sure can’t remember my birthday. 😂 "
- WebkinzCheekyFanatic
Be A Thief - But Beware
"Steal her jewelry."
- VoiceofTruth7
"Make sure it's something she has worn recently. Don't want to pick something she doesn't wear anymore because it doesn't fit."
- xAUSxReap3r
"I did exactly that with an engagement ring. So far off it couldn’t be resized and had to re order a new one. Whoops."
- jjen21
"Wish I had this thread a few years ago."
"I took one of her rings to the jeweler super smooth-like gave them all the details I gleaned from her Pinterest and random conversations, they gave me a weird look but made the ring. It came out beautiful!"
"Then the big moment hits, I go to slip it on and turns out, I stole a toe ring like an idiot. Thankfully they resized it easily enough."
"Jeweler must have thought my fiancée was 500 pounds."
- dansdansy
Mission Plasticene
"Buy a small square of plasticine at Michael's or art store for a dollar. Then make an impression of one of the rings they currently wear in the plasticene."
"Return the ring where you got it from, make sure there's no putty left behind on it."
"Take the square to a jeweler and have him measure that. They have a set of sizing rings specially for this kind of task."
"The plasticine will not shrink or expand, and will not distort if you're a bit gentle with it. Gives a spot-on measurement."
- AlanMercer
"This either comes from experience or maybe a scene from Mission Impossible that I can't recall; my guess if the former."
- justaspoonthanks
"If you hum the theme song to yourself, do it quietly."
- AlanMercer
Great Gum Health
"Take a piece of floss and tie it around her finger while she's asleep. Bring that to the store."
"Don't have floss? Go get some so you can healthy gums before you propose."
- berkeleyjake
"This was just an ad for floss."
- Stripperturneddoctor
"Did it work?"
- Just-Call-Me-J
Holiday Math
"Had my fiancées daughter draw a thanksgiving hand turkey with her mom’s hand. Then measured the outline and did a little math for circumference. Nailed it."
- Panther81277
"My husband did a very similar thing. He had small nieces in a different state and said they wanted our hands to do turkey drawings with, so we both traced our left hands. :) Sneaky."
- ceejaytee2
"Unfortunately, kids are terrible at this activity."
"If you have this angle it's better to figure something out where the parent and child do handprints in clay."
- africanized_swallow
"Diameter times pi for those of you trying to figure out how to do the math."
- SeasonsRollOnBy
Secret Shoppers
"Apparently women like trying on jewelry they don't even plan to buy."
"My now sister-in-law took my future wife out shopping and they tried on some rings. She reported back to me and there you go."
- HeyWhatsItToYa
"Absolutely, have her go to a place like Pandora with a friend/family member and have that person report back to you."
"That way you can figure out the size, but also get an idea about the style of ring she likes."
- cothai
"My other half did this the best way."
"They convinced me that our mutual friend Bob was going to propose to his girlfriend, and would I please do him a solid and spend the afternoon with him helping him choose what to buy?"
"Of course, I'm happy to help my friend in this difficult choice. I then spent an afternoon, offering ALL my opinions on what I like, etc etc and of course I try a few on for fun..."
"Hey presto, Bob reports back to my partner, and the ring I get eventually is A) perfect size and B) exactly what I'd choose."
"I didn't even realize it had happened until years later when Bob spilled the beans."
- hav0cnz_
Insurance
"I made my wife try hers on under the guise of insurance."
"I told her to bring them out, try to evaluate them all for insurance purposes, and then when she had them all lined up I acted like I was just curious in the moment about which ring went on which finger."
"Then I took the wedding ring finger sized one to the jeweler. She was none the wiser till I proposed."
- DryCoughski
Napkin Holders
"Some restaurants have paper rings that go around napkins. Next time you go out to eat at one of those restaurants, find a way to wrap one around her finger, and when she's not looking, keep it."
"I wrapped one around mine, and said something like, 'look! This is my size, does it fit you?' And she put it on."
"It was too big, so I resized it for her finger. Then I tossed it on the table, and when she wasn't looking, I slipped it in my pocket."
"Took it with me to the jeweler and the ring was the perfect size come the day."
"It's not uncommon for me to be fidgety and play with things on the table, so the napkin holder game wasn't unusual for us and I still have one of the first napkin rings from one of our first dates in my memory box."
- SpriteMonkey
Bag Of Fakes
"My mother inherited a whole pile of costume jewelry, in a variety of sizes, because Grandma had the habit of wearing rings on multiple fingers."
"So I asked Mom if she'd give me some so I could do some intel and see if any of it appealed to my (soon to be) wife."
"We tried everything on and I paid attention to what fit where and what styles she gravitated towards. Wifey didn't like much of it since she has a very different style than gran did - and not much of what she liked fit, but there were a few pieces and I got the info I needed."
"Turns out she has exactly the same ring size I do."
"Oh, and when I went to give all the unwanted stuff back to my mother? 'No takebacks, it's your problem now!' So I have a gallon bag of fake jewelry in a closet."
- technos
The Stand In
"You are doing this wrong. Get a cheap plastic ring. Propose. Then go together and find something nice you both enjoy. She might not even want diamonds so if she can pick anything that’s great!"
"My wife is really in to lord of the rings so I got her a prop of the one ring and used that. She loves it and will still wear it from time to time."
- Mathrinofeve
"My husband proposed with a plastic Batman ring and we picked out a ring together afterwards."
- hey_sjay
"Propose with candy ring. let her chomp on that bad boy while waiting for the ring she likes."
- Illustrious-Hat8029
Work Together
"I was the one who solved this problem for my partner years before he decided to propose. I got myself a cute ring that would fit my ring finger once I was sure he and I were getting serious, and I flat out told him where said ring was located in my jewellery box and that any time he decided he wanted us to take that next step, he could feel free to borrow that ring and take it to a jeweller’s shop to size an engagement ring correctly, with zero need for me to be aware of it."
"And that ring turned out to be a great idea, but not for the purpose I bought it for 😝 He didn’t have time between buying the engagement ring and proposing to get it resized, but he’d been carrying around that sizer ring for a while, and the night before he proposed, he was stumped at what to do because he planned to propose at a theme park, but didn’t want to risk the too-big ring slipping off and getting lost."
"After fighting back my tears of joy, I asked if he had the sizer ring I had bought, and when he said he did, I suggested he propose with that instead and I could wear that until we got the proper one resized. And he did, and I wore that ring around the entire theme park with zero worries 🥰 Don’t leave it all up to your partner, people! Help them out! You’re supposed to be a team, after all 😉"
- Sparrowflyaway
Pinky Is The Way
"My dad got my mom’s ring size by commenting on how small his hands were compared to his. He asked if the ring she already wore would fit any of his fingers."
"He was able to get it over his pinky, between his first and second knuckles. When he went to the jewelry store, he tried on a handful of rings there until they found the ring that stopped at the same spot on his pinky."
- wife_mom_tire
Its All In The Details
"My girlfriend (now wife) at the time had talked about marriage and know we wanted to get married so we literally drove over to Kays one day and picked up the ring."
"She didnt know when the ring was coming in, how she was going to be proposed to, or any other details. For those of you that think ring size is important, remember ring sizes do change with body weight/loss and rings can usually be resided unless its made of something that cant. Gold can be resized."
- CommanderMandalore
Two Birds Two rings
"Find a cool but absolutely not engagement type ring on Etsy or something. Something cheap but maybe niche that she would actually like."
"Say you really want to get one (heck you wanna support small business right?!) and then ask what her ring size is really casually. Be willing to buy it right then and there to really seal the deal."
- HopelesslyFucked
Guesstimate
"I think they have PDFs out there you can print and cut out, then wrap the paper ribbon around the finger."
"I eyeballed my GF's finger against my own, measured my own, came up with size 9 which was the biggest "normal" size you could get without paying more. Figured if she needed resizing it'd be cheaper to cut a bit of gold out vs soldering more in."
"And it fit perfectly."
- eljefino
Communicate, Browse Together, Surprise.
"Browse rings at a jewelry store together. I'm not joking!"
"I think there's nothing wrong with being clear about an impending proposal. If you've been together a while and are serious about each other, it's probably come up in conversation."
"My husband simply asked me as he was dropping me off after a date one night 'We both know where this is going. So when the time comes, do you want to pick the ring or do you want me to pick it out?' Quick little convo there where we made plans to go to a jewelry store together and look at options so he'd get an idea what I like. And the sales person at the store grabbed my ring size while I was there and made note, along with styles that I liked, for when he went back without me. A couple months later he proposed one night and it was a super sweet and wonderful surprise when it happened, even though I knew it was coming."
"Someone I know said it well: The when and the how of the proposal should be the only surprise about it. The fact that a proposal is coming shouldn't be a surprise."
"There's also the idea of proposing with a Ring Pop (or another toy/candy/goofy ring that's size-adjustable) and then going shopping for the ring together after."
- RotiniHuman
Have Her Help
"Why do you need to get her ring size without her knowing?"
"I understand everyone has different experiences and expectations but I actually took my girlfriend ring shopping with me. She was involved in every step of the process other than purchasing the center stone and paying for the ring."
"Have you thought about doing this process together? I certainly think it's a great relationship builder and my gf got to pick the setting she loved instead of me having to guess or drop hints etc."
- MacrosBlack16
False Facts
"Make up a "fun fact" like "I heard that your finger diameter is the same as the length of your nose" then you measure her finger and then her nose and then just play it off as falling for a fake fact meme."
"On second thought nose length isn't the best since the nose is likely shorter. Maybe go with eye width or something instead"
- willstr1
Alright, now that you've heard what Reddit has to say - here's my biggest piece of advice:
Chillax.
Stress is what gets people busted every single time.
Want to know more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Public marriage proposals are such emotional events, even passersby stop what they are doing to applaud the presumably happy couple.
But not all proposals are the romantic milestone everyone expects them to be, especially when "yes" is not the answer.
When a woman ultimately says, "no," the courage it takes for her to turn down a proposal is better in the long run for both people involved.
Wondering about how life resumed for women post-proposal, Redditor Interesting-Cod478 asked:
"Women who got proposed to but rejected it, why and how did your life change afterwards?"
The Ring
"I was dating a guy for two or three weeks (yes, weeks) and he proposed to me. With a ring he had bought for another woman. Which he told me as he was proposing. I said no and kind of slowly ghosted him because YIKES."
Wasn't A Joke
"I guy a went on one date proposed to me because he wanted a green card. I thought he was joking at first. He wasn't. I said no and then goodbye forever"
– azick545
"It was honestly hilarious. I was like at least put in some more effort, string me along, etc. But at least he made his feelings apparent quickly and I didn't have to worry anymore."
– azick545
"I was proposed to in a pretty nonchalant manner by a fellow student at my local community college. I had just turned 21 and he was in his mid 40's. The class was scuba diving."
"He has some really good reasons for me to marry him. He was completely deaf, so his proposal was witnessed by an interpreter and most of the class. He spoke well but was a little hard to understand at times so he signed and spoke the whole thing while the interpreter stood by to make sure I understood what he was saying and had to repeat a couple things that I didn't catch."
If It Weren't For The Age Gap
"The class was pretty laid back so we were all mostly comfortable with each other. Hanging out chatting after class one day and he gets my attention and says, very matter of fact 'we should get married, here's why' and proceeds to list several reasons why. Some of his reasons were- I could drive his Jeep any time I wanted. It was a brand new Rubicon and I had an older grand cherokee so obviously I love jeeps."
"I could play music as loud as I wanted any time of day, wouldn't bother him. We would never fight because he couldn't hear me anyway. He had a job, collected disability pay, and had his own home so I would never have to work. I always looked so interested in what he had to say. That one was him picking on me because he knew I didn't know sign language."
"He said it would be perfect. I agreed with him that it did sound pretty great, except for the fact that he was the same age as my dad and that was weird."
"I kindly declined his proposal and he joked about me crushing his spirits and how I was the only girl for him. He pretty much dropped it but he would ask me occasionally throughout the rest of the class 'change your mind yet?' Then we'd have a good laugh."
"He was the nicest guy, I think just a little lonely. Always kind hearted and loved helping everyone out. He loved that he was on an even playing field while scuba diving, no one can hear under water. He was fun to be around. Too bad he was twice my age."
"Jerry, if you're out there and remember this interaction, I dated a few guys that were sh*t compared to how you'd treat a lady and I thought about your proposal often. I'm incredibly happy with the boy that I hope to marry someday and I genuinely hope you've found someone that makes you happy and treats you well."
– S-Crumby
The Senior Player
"92 yr old man at a nursing home used to ask me and every other woman to Marry him daily. Had this whole sweet old man line 'your the most beautiful woman I've ever seen' , I would reply 'I just heard you say the same thing to that nurse,' 'but you're prettier.' Made me smile everytime. He had forgotten he was already married."
White Water Rafting Followed By A Proposal
"A friend of mine in another city, had been trying to set me up with her male roommate. He, whom I had never met, had won tickets for white water rafting in BC... about 6 hours away for me, and 3 for him... we decided to do a weekend trip to meet (my friend insisted that he was cool... otherwise I never would have gone without knowing him for a while.
Anyways... I was *very* clear that we wouldn't be having sex, since we had just met, and he agreed, pointing out that he was strict Roman Catholic and would not have sex until married."
"First night we fooled around a bit, but nothing much.... went white water rafting the next day, had dinner and back to the room."
"He very excitedly tells me that he met a priest who was also staying at the hotel, and PROPOSES!!!! With complete seriousness!!"
"WTF!! Everything after that went rather poorly. He didn't understand why I wouldn't see him again after dropping him off at home."
"Did not change my life, other than have a good story...."
Sweet Little Suitors
"I worked as a pre-k teaching assistant for a year. The head teacher was married so they called her Mrs. while I was not so they called me Ms. Eventually some of the kids noticed this difference and started asking why head teacher was Mrs. and I wasn't. We explained that she was married and I didn't have a husband. Upon hearing that one little boy loudly stated 'I will marry you! I want to be your husband!' I got 3 other proposals from 3 different 4 year olds that day. Definitely not a serious story, but one that always makes me smile :)"
The Deadbeat
"Okay, my first boyfriend. Started dating in high school, my end of 9th grade year, he was a senior. So he went off to college, lived 2 hours away. Cool, everything was cool. My junior year, he moves back to our hometown. Didn't talked about, I asked him about college. He just said he didn't want to go anymore, then I realize this guy can't commit to a job, like in high school I understood the slack. I ended things with him that summer before I went for my senior year."
"Years pass, I moved to a different city 3 hours away from our hometown. We get in contact again because I was getting over a bad break up. After 2ish years we start dating again. I think he finally has good things going for him, like his future. Well, after dating for like 3 months he moved in with me, I didn't want this, yet his mother was being kicked out of the house they were renting. ( due to non_payment )
About 6 months into him living with me, he's jobless, demanding I pay his car payments, won't clean up anything, and just plays games all day. He asked me to marry him, I said yeah cause people were watching but I promise you, and soon as we get back to my apartment, I give him $40, tell him to go back to his mom's so she could take care of him for the rest of her life!!"
Atypical Proposal
"Not a typical proposal but I had a coworker, who I never dated or even knew of any attraction to me, ask me to marry him. He said he was up for a job where he'd be making over 100k in less than 5 years. This was back in the late 90s so it was good money for our age back then. He said he'd buy me a house and the car I was in love with at the time (BMW Z3) plus I wouldn't have to work. I said no thanks and then luckily got another job shortly afterwards that set me on my current career path which I wouldn't change for anything."
The Weapons Expert
"There was a guy I dated for awhile. He was National Guard and had previously served 4 years in the Army as a weapons expert. He had a concealer's permit and always had his gun on him or in his car. He also liked to collect guns."
"He proposed and I declined."
"6 months later I come to find out he went to a party and his gun was discharged in his car. His sister told me it was an accident when he pushed the gun off the seat onto the floor. But I think something is off about the story."
A Gut Feeling
"We were together two years when he asked. I think we could have been happy and great in a lot of ways but, fundamentally, I never would have been happy."
"He was a very nice guy but had a very overbearing mother that he let run his life. He had no idea who he was or what he wanted. He just let his mother choose his life for him, from his career to his underwear."
"I think he proposed as a last ditch effort to keep me because he knew deep down I was on my way out."
"I was sad about it until I spoke with a good friend of mine who has a sister that married a mama’s boy. She recounted to me how absolutely difficult her marriage was (currently going through a divorce). It was then I realized I dodged a massive bullet."
"Couldn’t be happier now. Last I heard, he’s still a gopher with a law degree and his parents promoted his sister over him. I’m now with a guy that is his own person and makes his own decisions. Very grateful."
Won't Take "No" For An Answer
"We were eighteen, only together for about two months. We were sitting there and they said, 'How would you feel if I got you a ring?'”
"And I thought it best to be honest so I said, 'I think it’s a little too soon for that, but maybe next year that could be nice.'”
"Well, big mistake. They pulled out a damn ring."
“Oh. I all ready got it. I guess I’ll just keep it to myself then if you don’t want it.”
"The next few weeks were a huge string of, 'If you don’t love me and want my ring I’m going to drive my car off a bridge.'”
"At first, I didn’t see it because he resented how involved she was in his life. It slowly dawned on me that while he may resent it, he absolutely could not make any kind of decision on his own. From whether he wanted to attend church or what kind of higher degree he wanted, he left it to his mother."
"When he quit a great job at a prestigious law firm that he liked, to work for his parents as a gopher for 20k a year, it basically ended the relationship right then."
Identifying Dealbreakers
"I was caught off guard and said yes to avoid making a scene, but ended it shortly after that. We had been together for a couple of years. I wasn't happy and hadn't been for a while. Once I took the time to think it over I realized that his idea of getting married was to capture our life together in a bottle and seal it up so that nothing could ever change."
"The fact that our relationship was the way that it was, but he wanted to married me, made me think that I would be signing up for us to never work on our problems as a couple, and that I had nothing but question marks about how we would navigate things as we both aged. We hadn't discussed marriage so he never should have sprung a proposal on me. I wish I had handled it differently, but it wasn't fair for him to do that."
"After we broke up and I got him out of my house I instantly felt happier on a day-to-day basis because of how much the relationship had been weighing me down, but it wasn't too long after that that my mental health actually really tanked. I spent multiple years suppressing my needs, feelings and desires and blurring my boundaries, so once I had space to actually see and honor those things, it was uncomfortable for me."
"I'm still in therapy working on all of that. I'm in another relationship now, my first one since that breakup, and while every relationship is difficult, I've come into this one with a lot better understanding of what I'm NOT interested in having and what some of my dealbreakers are. I also feel an urge to move a lot more slowly in this relationship than what I felt previously, probably because I've learned to value boundaries so much more."
For these folks, I do was I don't.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
There have been so many different, inventive ways that people have proposed to their partner. One Youtube search can show you countless proposals. But it's not just about the act of asking someone to marry them- it's also the events that lead up to that unforgettable moment.
ashleyhellsan asked: Happily married couples of reddit, what was the moment you realized this is the woman/man you were going to marry?