professionals

Image by Jon Kline from Pixabay

Whenever people meet for the first time, a commonly asked question is what they do for a living.

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One of the golden rules of the job search, heck of life, is always make a good first impression. It is the bare minimum to show up for a job interview prepared and able to fill out an application, or have a coherent resume. It's like Life Skills 101. Apparently that was a class many of us seem to have slept through or played hooky during. How in the world some people think they're going to find employment in their current state of being is mind boggling. But also highly entertaining.

Redditor u/ramennewtls wanted to get those in hiring positions to help us all out when it comes to the do's and do nots of trying to find a job by asking.... Employers, what's the weirdest/stupidest answer you've seen on a job application?
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Work can often be monotonous and tear inducing. Sometimes there is simply nothing to do. But when others are around you got to keep yourself looking like you're earning your keep. Even when we are busy and have much to do you can once and awhile find yourself staring off into the yonder. Then you're almost caught and have to cover. Oh the joys of adulting in the office.

Redditor u/ScheetyWok wanted to hear some interesting ways to stay "busy" when trying to not work by asking.... Office workers of Reddit, what's your go-to activity to "look busy" when you have no work to do?

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The workplace doesn't always have to be a burden. Sometimes the workplace can be a hot bed of crazy with soap opera antics. Often the things we witness at our jobs can haunt us forever. We try to be cool and professional but when you witness crazy, just embrace it. As long as everyone lives.... it's always gonna make for a great story later.

Redditor u/StayCrude wanted to know about the things we've all witnessed at our places of employment by asking.... What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen happen at work?

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moodboard/Getty Images

All work and no play can make any job unbearable.

While working in a grooming salon, we were technically not allowed to be affectionate with the canine clients that came in. The rules never stopped my coworkers and I from cuddling and kissing all of the cute pups though!

Reddit users were honest about times they were less than professional, and had some great answers for u/ineedanswersss15's question... "What's the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?"

20. A wholesome game

"I used to work the night (6.30 till 9.30pm) shift at an adult school while I was at uni. It was mostly just so people could learn basic French, Spanish, art etc. Me and the other guy working there had very little to do other than ensure classes ran smoothly, teachers received and returned registers and the like.

When we got bored of the internet, and it was before smartphones were everywhere, so we started developing increasingly elaborate treasure hunts for the next days staff to uncover. We started building in dead ends where obvious,but wrong, solutions would take you down 3 more clues to be told you'd messed up.

Before I left I got told by my manager that me and my colleague were to be written up for it at the area managers request (they'd turned up mid-hunt one day) but my manager enjoyed them too much so had held off.

We made one last huge hunt on my last night that took them the whole next day to crack."

tbishop4388

19. This superhero wannabe

"I worked at Walmart and it was the most boring experience of my life. One day, they let me be the greeter. You know the guy who greets people who come in. Anyways, the janitor leaves his broom. So I pick it up and start swinging it around pretending I'm Robin. People are just watching me do kicks and fighting the air and then my manager comes and loses her mind on me. That surprisingly was not the day I was fired."

Thelegionofgeeks

18. This employee did a lot in two years

"Pretty much the entirety of my 2 year stint on 3rd shift at a convenience store.

  • Played homerun derby in-store with a plunger and a tinfoil ball
  • Played floor hockey with a pair of brooms and another tinfoil ball
  • Had a wrestling match in-store
  • Played "Creamer Basketball", which was more of a free-throw contest
  • Constantly gave away free food and drinks
  • Numerous pranks on the store manager

Despite all of that, I was the store manager's favorite employee."

ProjectShadow316

17. Close this venue down!

Giphy

"this happened a year ago in the restaurant i was working for.

our boss asked us to cook a good $200 worth of meat and brown sauce in a big pot. When our boss tried to take the pot out of the oven the whole thing fell on the ground (cooked meat and brown sauce everywgere). he then asked us to put water on the meat to "clean it". we kept the meat but made new brown sauce.

the meat was then used for a wedding"

poopscoop0x0

16. Doesn't everyone steal their coworkers candy?

"stole my boss's candy"

anika7878

15. Sorry, Steve

"Stabbed a customer by accident one time.

Went to hand him a cheap snap off razor blade, poked him in the hand, drew blood. Er, sorry about that Steve."

BagelDesk

14. Some last day heroics

"Tackled a thief who stole a couple bottles of vodka. They landed on the ground with the bottles in their shirt and had both smash all over, covering them in vodka. No injuries luckily! It was also my last day there and I was sick of theft, and took my frustration out while I had the chance."

Youpunyhumans

13. Better than getting angry in front of your boss

"There have been times when I walked into the walk in cooler, pretending to get something or that I was going to get a sip of my drink but really I went in there so I could silently cuss out the boss or give her the finger without her seeing it."

KnockMeYourLobes

12. I think this worldwide coffee chain can afford a spoon or two

"I work at a coffeehouse of a worldwide chain and sometimes when I'm done doing the dishes and notice there is one last spoon left but I already started the dishwasher, I just throw it away :T I'm not allowed to wash it from hand and I'm not gonna run another whole machine just for one spoon!"

DomTheSkunk

11. IT had a "Hissi" fit

"I worked as tech support, we had a lot of downtime between emails and let's just say I was the reason neopets.com got blocked by our IT department"

_banana_panda_

10. This on the clock Tolkien fan

"When I worked at Walmart like 15 years ago I managed to read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on the clock. I was kind of proud of that."

inflammable

9. I think the pigeon won that battle

"Worked in a burrito store for summer uni funds. Pigeons try steal food leftovers outside, ended up being attacked by one and in panicked response unceremoniously grabbed it and threw it into a nearby table. Customers seemed more confused and amused than anything."

MTG_Leviathan

8. A great job for football fans

"I did a short stint over christmas break at a Macys. If you could somehow wind up in the security room during a football game they would have the game on the radio and the camera in the menswear department zoomed in on the TV there that was showing the game. Was a good time."

CardboardHeatshield

7. The smooching nurse

Giphy

"When I worked at a long term care facility in nursing school I used to kiss my residents goodnight and tell them that I loved them, and meant it. As a nurse in a more acute hospital setting I would never kiss a patient good night, but long term care is a different world."

Desperatelyvintage

6. This person wouldn't let food be wasted

"In high school I was a busboy at Outback Steakhouse. Lunch was around 12:00, school was released at 2:30, track practice was over by 5, work at 6:00-10:30 ish.

As you can imagine I was starving every time I worked. Cleaning up after people who had left food on the table would be torture. Sometimes it would be too much for me and I'd eat someone else's to go box or something.

I remember one night an entire macaroni and cheese was left in the bowl and it looked so good. So I snuck it into the bathroom, as not to be seen, and devoured the entire bowl. I didn't get caught, luckily. It was too real."

Swizzlestick_82

5. That's just nasty

"I took a dump in the toilets, I didn't flush because I wanted my colleagues to smell my poop and blame each other."

Eddy2626

4. Stand up to bullies, even when they're customers

"I worked my second real day at a retail job when I was in my early 20s, was at the cash register one day. Dealt with an irate customer who decided to throw coins at the counter so I had to pick them up off the floor. I asked her to stop, she continued and called me a name at which point I threw all of their merchandise on the ground from the counter, walked out. Never came back, even to pick up what little money I had earned of a paycheck. Just left the awful customer, the counter and the store to handle itself."

Epigenesis5

3. They need to install bathrooms ASAP

"I had to piss in a sink because we don't have bathrooms in my building and the nearest one that does is 100 yards away... I work in a clean room so it takes a lot of time to get in and out of my suit properly and by the time I was out I couldn't hold it so I went to the sink in the changing room. I have kidney issues so it always seems like the urgency goes from 0 to 100 real quick.

The building is older than most modern building codes so its grandfathered in and doesn't have to have a toilet. It has been humiliating even though I'm usually the only one around."

toxic_badgers

2. Cool contest though

"I (very briefly and with as dry a tongue as I could get) licked one of the rare books from the 1500s or 1600s I was digitizing so I could compete with my boyfriend for that Who's licked the oldest thing game."

The_True_Doctor_Pepper

1. I'll imagine workers doing this whenever I watch political events

Giphy

"My boss is a high profile politician. Sometimes when I have to be at events (think bodyguards everywhere, news cameras etc) I'm just standing there on my phone playing Japanese dating simulations.

He doesn't pay me enough to care."

a_scattered_me