Guys Break Down Why Their Last Partner Broke Up With Them
Reddit user GreekRifle asked: 'Men, why did your last girlfriend dump you?'
A breakup is never easy.
Even so, it is sometimes the only solution when one, or both, members of a couple realize that their relationship simply isn't meant to be.
Sometimes, pinpointing what went wrong in a relationship is difficult that and even years later you still can't find a single reason.
Other times, however, why a relationship came to an end is made abundantly clear by your former partner, sometimes letting you down easily, other times not mincing word one bit.
Redditor GreekRifle was curious to hear from the men of Reddit why their partners chose to end their relationships, leading them to ask:
"Men, why did your last girlfriend dump you?"
A Love That Will Never Die...
"She was in love with her gay best friend."- Lucius_Funk
Communication Is Key
"We didn’t really get each other communication-wise."- heyitsvonage
Too Close To Home...
"Because my mother died of a terminal illness and she had (unbeknownst to me) breast cancer."
"I think she knew it would have wrecked me all over again."- fdxfgyhers
To Love Another, You Must Also Love Yourself.
"I didn't take care of myself."
"I degraded to a state that made me boot worthy"- ToeKnail
Did You Hear That?
"Because I was a sh*tty listener."
"I immediately went and bought and read 4 books on listening."
"I won’t have that happen again."- awerwe4yuti
A Very Important Decision
"She wanted children, I did not."
"We kinda dumped each other for the best, but she took more initiative to see it through."- BrukaAllvar
Wasn't Meant To Last
"Both of us were busy with school and work and so we were spending less time together than usual."
"Around a month into this, she decided that the relationship had gone stale and we should break up."
"I'm not gonna pretend like it was only her fault, cus I only realized how stale our relationship had gotten when she texted me to ask for a breakup."
"I did offer to try and salvage it all, but she turned that idea down pretty quickly."
"Like half a year later she called me in a drunken state and asked if I want to hook up with her."- Phoenix_BFN
On To Better Things... Or Not...
"We were 19 (her) and 22 (me)."
"She decided she wanted to date her coworker."
"A 37 year old pizza delivery guy who lived with his mom and had 2 kids from a previous marriage that he admittedly screwed up."
"They ended up getting married, she was the primary/only breadwinner for awhile because he got fired and then just kinda never tried getting hired again."
"They eventually split up because I think he cheated on her and she tried reaching out to me on Facebook and through mutual friends."
"Yeah………no thanks."
"By then I was married to the love of my life, had 3 kids, a career, just bought a house and adopted a dipsh*t husky from the pound."
"I’m good."- Thebaldsasquatch
"The dude she'd liked for many many years who always told her no when she asked him out realized he could very well lose her to me and said If she wanted to date him he'd go for it now."
"She left me, 4 months later she married him, and now 13 years later is IIRC Divorced from him."
"Jokes on her though, 6 months after we broke up I started dating a friend of mine, we dated for 2 years (compared to 2 months with the ex) and then we got married, and we just had our 11th wedding anniversary in august."
"We have a 4 year old son and every aspect of our relationship is way way better than my relationship with the ex."-evileyeball
It's Complicated...
"She stated that we were headed in different directions."
"She said she still loved me but couldn’t do the relationship anymore as she was 'dragging me down'."
"She was dealing with something that she just couldn’t deal with while being in a relationship with me."
" All of these are reasons she gave me the day we broke up."
"I truly hadn’t seen this happening as we had been talking about marriage."
"She had brought it up and then a month later she asked to go on a two week break, then asked to end the break early because she didn’t want to loose me."
"Less than a week later we broke up because she 'just couldn’t do this anymore'."
"All in all I suppose I don’t know."
"I thought we would spend our lives together, and she had told me constantly that was what she wanted."
"Then one day I suppose she woke up and decided we were over."
"I don’t hold any resentment towards her, and I wouldn’t ask her to explain why."
"Sometimes you fall in love just to fall out of it."
"Other times you find the right person at the wrong time, it really doesn’t matter."
"I hope she finds the right person for her, and I know I’ll keep on moving forward til the day I can’t."- RansomTheTrees
There's No Place Like Home...
"She realized, that she stopped being happy to come home and found things to do to stay out."
"I wanted to end the relationship on the very same day or wanted to have a talk, so not too bad of a break up."- Resident-Worry-2403
Anyone's Guess
"Ask her."
"Really I don't know why she broke up with me."- frogmicky
Ironically, It's Wrong To Always Need To Be Right...
"Wasn’t mature enough to put her feelings before my position in an argument."
"Unfortunately had to learn to be a better person at the expense of an innocent person."- kitchensclosed
Everyone Deserves A Second Chance...
"Because I was a sh*tty person."
"And I wish I hadn't been, but I became a good one after that and regret it cost someone so much."- Skelegasm
It's hard to come to terms with ending things with someone you thought you loved.
Yet, better to have had that love then to never love at all.
People Confess Which Things They'd Like To Tell Their Partner Without Upsetting Them
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
– flash17k
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
– brkh47
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
– coniferous-1
Drop The 'Tude
"That the constant bad attitude is really annoying and a definite buzz kill."
– daddaman1
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
Owning Up
"The universe is not out to get you. Not everything is happening to you some of it is in your control. I'm so sick of you refusing to take ownership. And stop getting so fucking defensive about everything!"
– mixedmediamadness
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
– lazybordercollie
Impulsive Reaction
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
– pinchhitter4number1
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
– a_man_has_a_name
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
– Shto_Delat
Road Rage
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
– vocabulazy
Physical Health
"I wish you’d care more about your physical health and how it would make me feel if you got seriously sick later in life."
– ammezurc
Not An Attack
"I feel your frustration!! But anytime I try to say anything they always reply that I'm 'making excuses for everyone' or 'just want to argue/disagree with them' and everything is a personal attack."
– napsrnportant
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
– AFaceForRadio_20
Concerned Bystander
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
– rotatingruhnama
Difficult Parents
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
– zoeinator
Like Mother, Like Daughter
"Although she is not like her abusive mom in most ways, in some ways she is — understandably — and it causes real harm to her relationships."
"I’ve tried to say this very plainly, as constructively as I can, but it’s like she can’t hear it. I think we all have these things. Something we can’t confront, so our brains filter it out before we can be fully conscious of it."
– sex-fluids
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
In the recent Pride and Prejudice update Fire Island, Dex leads the main character Noah to believe that the stand-offish lawyer Will judges him for having an OnlyFans page.
A site that has become commonly used for amateur and professional porn performers and sex workers to directly profit from erotic and sexual content they upload themselves.
As is the case with their literary counterparts, Darcy and Wickham, Will's apathy towards Dex runs much deeper than his OnlyFans page.
But Will wouldn't be the first person to judge someone for utilizing the site as a means of income.
Several people might also stop their romantic pursuits of those who decide to upload x-rated content as a side (or primary) hustle.
Others, however, might not have a problem with it, and might even join them in their endeavors.
Redditor TickleTip20 was curious to learn whether or not people would be comfortable dating someone with an OnlyFans account, or who works in the sex industry, leading them to ask:
"Would you date a sex worker/does onlyfans? Why or why not?"
No. They Never Stop Promoting Themselves.
"No I would not."
"Had a great night with a girl and once we had done the deed she felt the need to plug her OnlyFans page."
"Made it feel like she spent the night with me as advertisement and wanted me to become a subscriber."- xveritas1x
No. Too Many Safety Risks
"Personally no."
"One of my boyfriend’s best friends is seeing a girl who does OF and she recently traveled to make a threesome video with two other people in the scene."
"No protection or anything was used."
"I’d personally be crying and throwing up watching my boyfriend sleep with other women, with no protection, whether it’s his job or not."
"So yeah not for me."
"But I don’t discriminate against that career path."
"You do you."- Halloweenqueen2342
No. They'll Regret It Down The Line
"I would say no."
"People don't usually see the long term affects of that lifestyle until they want to leave it."
"There was an interview with Lana Rhoades, and she says looking back at her videos, it makes her want to throw up."- Sea_Obligation5993
No. You Become A Very Low Priority
"I would not."
"I knew a guy who was all 'nah bro, it's sexy and it's no big deal' when his girlfriend of 2 years started her OnlyFans."
"First came the undivided attention to her phone, texting guys who are sending her money."
"That led to her starting to do collabs with other women, which led to her having sex with other dudes on camera, which led to her pretty much just sidelining her boyfriend whenever she felt like it when she got really intimate with someone she did like 10 videos with."
"She once offered the guy she was dating to be a part of it, but turns out she just wanted him to film her sleep with this dude she liked a lot."
"In the end, my friend didn't even get dumped, he just got straight up forgotten about."
"She just slowly started spending less and less time at their apartment until she was just gone forever."
"Maybe if I was really, really confident and secure with the woman I'm with I'd be willing to talk about it, but there'd be a lot of boundaries and I'd wanna be the other dude on camera w her."- gamesireallylike
No. Not Monogomous.
"No."
"Simply because I’m completely monogamous, and I consider sexual exclusivity as part of that."
"For me, sending nude pictures to others during the relationship is cheating."- DickBigler
"No."
"I'm more of a 'intimacy is reserved for your S/O only'."- ConThePaladin
"Nope."
"If you’re dating me I’ve gotta be your only fan."- TheLastBoat
No. Bad Past Experiences.
"Used to date an exotic dancer."
"It was painful."
"Would not repeat."- n0budd33
No. Simply Not Equiped
"The people that I know that do it have had to compartmentalize what sex means and what's too far in terms of exploiting others, and it's changed them as people."
"The personality traits that have strengthened aren't ones that I value in a partner or to be quite frank even in a friend, so I don't think I'd be able to date one."
"Sex work takes strength and grit, but in my experience that grit has made people I used to enjoy thoroughly abrasive."
"Obviously I know not all people are like that, but that's just my experience." - Reddit
No two people have the same relationship or comfort level when it comes to sex.
So people should always think twice before judging those on OnlyFans.
Nor should anyone enter into a relationship with someone on OnlyFans if it makes them uncomfortable.
As the saying goes, "to each their own."
Sometimes the best way to keep a relationship is to keep quiet.
We all have little quirks and secrets that are ours alone.
And maybe it's best they stay that way.
Who is it gonna hurt?
Redditor SingleReporter wanted to hear what bits of information many us don't let on about to the nearest and dearest. They asked:
"What things should be kept private from your SO, no matter how healthy your relationship is?"
Not every detail and truth needs to be heard. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Favorites
Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy"That you know you’re the Pet’s favorite person."
mostpeopleheresuck12
"Oof, I am absolutely both of our dogs favorite person. We both know it but I would never ever say that to my wife."
abrokenelevator
Weapons
"No matter how healthy a relationship is, there'll always come a time where you have resentful thoughts of your spouse. Those should be kept to yourself, as most of them pass quickly. The only time you should share them is if they're persisting in some behavior that is hurting you, and then it should be done calmly and not in the heat of the moment."
"For instance, if you got home from work tired to find your spouse binge watching a TV show, but the sink is full of dirty dishes, the impulse may be to lace into them. Don't. Go ahead and do the dishes, and tomorrow, when that initial flash of anger has passed, discuss the issue."
"People say arguments can be healthy in a relationship, but it all comes down to how you argue. Spouses, at least if they're good ones, know intimate details about you, your past, and how you think and feel. This gives them weapons to hurt you, and it may be tempting to use such weapons when angry. But if you know your spouse has a sore spot about their dad, and you say in anger 'this is why your dad never loved you,' you have permanently damaged your relationship."
"And that damage builds up over time. Successful relationships survive because people rein themselves in in that moment. Even when they're angry, they don't want to inflict wounds like that. So whenever the impulse arises to use those weapons in anger, resist the temptation! You may forget what you did quickly, but they won't."
Degs29
Be Honest
"If your relationship started under potentially offensive pretenses (e.g. they were madly in love w/ you but you they were just the your rebound)."
Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs
"An old friend of mine's gf told him this. I was there when it happened, and I swear to God I saw his heart break. They were really good together and really liked each other, so he tried to keep going, but I watched it eat him from the inside out until he just couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her. There really are some things you just can't take back."
RavagerHughesy
The Clippers
"Where I hide the secret, spare pair of scissors I keep for when he's lost all the other 11 pairs of scissors we own and I need to trim a chip bag down to make getting to the chips easier."
lysanderish
"I had a pair of nail clippers stashed away because they were never where they were supposed to be. After my wife passed away I found 9 pairs! In her desk drawers, in purses she hadn’t used in years - 3 pair in with her makeup."
dirkalict
Strategy
Naval Battle Navy GIF by World of WarshipsGiphy"The location of your ships while playing Battleship."
MadlyHatting
If we are in competition... in my eyes... you are only a casualty.
No Touch
episode 9 search GIFGiphy"My dad has mentioned a few times that in their 40+ years of marriage, he’s never gone in her top dresser drawer or purse."
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfarts
Weak Spots
"Sometimes, no matter how attractive your partner is to you and no matter how much you love them, there is an aspect to them that is unchangeable but that you find gross or annoying or just generally less than attractive. Clogged nose pores, a laugh that sounds like a muppet, big toe nails that just look a little bit weird, or that single long hair growing from inside their ear that just keeps coming back no matter what they do. If it’s going to make them feel insecure or unloved, this is something you should just keep to yourself."
"In a relationship, you learn each other’s weak points and vulnerabilities, and using them against your partner is a boundary that, once you cross it, you can’t come back from. Once you make someone feel like they can’t trust you with their vulnerable self, your relationship is on its way out."
baby_armadillo
"how did it go?"
"Your psychologist/therapy sessions. I had an ex that used to demand I tell him what I talked about in my sessions and it was super uncomfortable. With my current partner we are both in therapy and if it's a phone session the other goes in a different room. If we want to talk about something we told the psych or something we will tell our psych at the next appointment we do."
"But I would never ask and nor would he. We might ask 'how did it go?' To which the other may say 'it was good' or 'it was emotionally draining,' but that's as far as it should go. (These are personal sessions, not couples therapy, we're not in that)."
Tattsand
Go to Sleep...
"The unkind crap you think when you're angry and tired, it will absolutely never help at all to say any of it out loud and even if you don't have a particularly big fight or break up over it you'll still regret it and they'll still remember. Possibly also what you think about how hot other people are, depending on how jealous/insecure your SO is."
Amnesigenic
LOLzzz
sarcastic well done GIF by CBCGiphy"My steady supply of jokes. I set up my android to send me a joke every night at 5 pm and I tell it to my husband later on, before i jump in the shower. He always asks where I'm getting this stuff from and I just laugh and shut the bathroom door I would like him to continue thinking of me as this endless joke fairy for the rest of our lives :)."
welldressedpickles
See there... sometimes omission is the only lie.
People in relationships have, at one point or other, made a huge mistake that jeopardized their future together as a couple.
Some grievances like infidelity are so beyond the pale that it's not worth continuing the relationship based on the ole' "once a cheater, always a cheater" adage.
But depending on the situation, do untrustworthy significant others deserve a second chance?
Strangers online gave their take on the issue when Redditor ChildhoodPersonal225 asked:
"People who forgave their cheating partner, what was the reason you let it go?"
Forgiveness doesn't always lead to a favorable outcome.
Moving On
"I forgave my cheating partner, but it was also the reason we got divorced. You can forgive someone and still not want to be with them anymore."
– thunder2132
Closure
"I forgave her after leaving."
– Any-Comfortable5682
No Regrets
"Me too. I spent a year or two upset about it, because she was in a happy relationship with the guy she cheated with. I spent that time hoping that she would do the same to him, almost certain that she would. Figured the other shoe would drop eventually and I could watch with great satisfaction from afar."
"That day never came. They stayed in love, they got married, they’ve got two daughters now. From everything I’ve heard, they have a wonderful life together. And I’m really glad that they do. What she did hurt at the time, and it was sh**ty, but we were a couple of 21 year olds who thought a three year college relationship was going to last forever. She didn’t deserve to spend her life paying for one time that she harmed me, and I didn’t deserve to waste my days waiting for karma to come back around and ruin her life."
"She got married to him the same day that I moved into an awesome apartment in my local city to live out my 20s in the most fun way possible. In a way, it felt poetic. Because of what she did, she found the person she was meant to be with and I was given the opportunity to seize life in a way I hadn’t before that."
"I wouldn’t change a thing about what happened and I have no doubt that she wouldn’t either."
– TwoForHawat
Forgiving and trusting someone again is a risk many people, who are still in love, take.
Understanding Why
"Because I was trying to understand why it is she made that decision, and I wanted to try and make the marriage work. My mistake."
Repeat Offender
"It almost always happens again. Give someone an inch, they take a mile. Next time they'll get better at hiding it."
– Celestial-Adventures
Unhealthy Cycle
"Not me but a friend. He didn’t want to be single again and go through the dating process. So he forgave. She cheated couple of times more and he still forgave. Ended up married. I stopped keeping up with the story because it’s always the same cheating sh*t again."
– realbobbygli
Alone For The Right Reason
"I thought that if I left her then I'd be alone forever."
"3 years after leaving her and that turned out to not be true and I also learned that being single is much better than being in a sh**ty relationship."
– TheNameless00
Things Didn't Compute
"Because I couldn't do math."
"We were dating for two months, but things got serious pretty fast. Met each other's families - this was around the holidays - and were having the talks about where we saw things going. One weekend, I come down with a really bad flu. Couldn't move out of bed, and told her I could not see her, but would be happy to talk on the phone. She tells me, 'hey, if its all the same, do you mind if I pick up another shift at the "piano bar" waitressing and make some money for the night?' I tell her, sure, I'd rather rest and try to kick this bug, go for it."
"Three months later, we're sitting on my couch and she seems distant. She tells me we need to talk, starts crying and tells me she thinks she has an STD. She tells me the night she picked up that extra shift at the bar, she stayed until closing and fucked her married boss in his car. But - and here's the kicker - she tells me, 'you and I had only been on a couple of dates up to that point and weren't exclusive,' so it wasn't like she was cheating on me, in her mind. For some reason, I couldn't put the math together to figure out which weekend it was that she took that extra shift, so I dismissed it. It wasn't until months later that the math hit me like an epiphany and, by that time, we had developed so much more as a couple that I figured it was a one-off indiscretion. (PS: She didn't have an STD, she had a yeast infection.)"
"In the end, I called things off. She was a pretty terrible person in the end, and may have cheated on me at least two more times by the time things were over. I wasted three and a half years of my life with her, but I never married her or had kids with her, which would have been way worse."
– MikeT75
The Fear Of Nothing Being Better Than The Alternative
"I was pregnant with my second child and terrified of doing it alone. I didn't think I was capable. I was also beaten down enough to feel like I'd never have anything better. Thankfully I wised up, it's been years now and I'm still single and may be that way for the rest of my days but it doesn't scare me like it did. I'm happy and that's all that really matters."
– Ambitious_Beat3549
Some people are suckers for emotional breakdowns.
Emotionally Influence
"I'm a sucker for crying. One year into our relationship she confessed in tears that she cheated on me two weeks into our relationship by having sex with her ex. I forgave her and was proud of her for being honest. Two months prior to our wedding and I find out she's been screwing her boss."
– gil_beard
Guilt-Ridden Husband
"My wife's first husband slept with a sex worker on a business trip to South Korea. He used to travel there several times a year, and it became a running joke with his co-workers that he never took part in the company-provided hook ups. So, he finally gave in on one trip, and felt utterly horrible about it."
"A lot of factors went into her forgiving him over this: He'd only been with my wife (since he was 17 an she was 15,) sexually, he felt absolutely horrible about it. What's amusing is that their two kids were very young, like 10 and 6, and my wife had a feeling that something was going on and had arranged for the kids to sing a little 'YAY! DAD'S HOME!' skit when he walked in the door..."
"They divorced about 10 years later for other reasons."
– dramboxf
Here's the thing about cheating.
Thrill Of Getting Away With It
"It is like an addiction issue. Junkies are junkies. The poison doesn't make a difference in behavior."
"Cheaters literally seek out all the time the thrill of flirting, secrecy, and yes, having power over someone else, knowing and doing something wrong and getting away with it."
"That is why most cheating couples just fizzle out when they get together after the original SO drops out. Having the poor sap / sappess getting duped is what kept them entertained, not the humping."
"Cheating doesn't just 'happen', people make it happen actively. That is why only rarely -if ever- a change actually occurs, because change doesn't happen unless the person wills it."
– gordito_delgado
Accidentally On Purpose
"My favorite is when people say 'it was an accident.'"
"You accidentally sent hundreds of texts, drove to their house, spent money on them and bounced up and down on them a few hundred times?"
"Yeah, sending a mixed signal is an accident not getting down with the whole act."
– musicalrssnroulette
It's Mind-Boggling
"It's still hard to wrap my head around how some people can be so emotionally unaware of what their actions do to others."
– MumrikDK
People deserve a second chance.
But based on the comments above, how do you know if the person you're trusting after they broke your heart aren't prone to making the same mistake again?
As they say, "fool me once..."
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