People Explain Which Things They Wish The Opposite Sex Understood Better
Whether it's in family, friendships, or dating, we've all felt misunderstood at some point. But it seems especially common to feel misunderstood by the opposite sex.
Here are some key points that people wished those of the opposite sex would just understand already.
Redditor idontplayhockey asked:
"What is something you wish the opposite sex understood better?"
Compliments Go a Long Way
"A good chunk of the men who need reassurance are most likely not getting enough compliments in the relationship."
"This isn't always the case, but I always felt insane dating certain people, and then with the right person who complimented me, is genuinely attracted to me and initiated things, and who ACTUALLY loves me (I now think others weren't that attracted to me, even ex-fiance), and I have never felt more confident, and safe in a relationship."
"Looking back, my intuition was correct with the other people I dated, and that's why I never felt secure."
- TinyDrug
Food Secrets
"If you wanted fries, you should have asked for fries."
- podrick_pleasure
For the Love of LEGO
"I don't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, go to strip clubs, or play video games... My vice is LEGO (yes, I'm a f**king dork) and my wife just can't stop complaining about the LEGO."
- lazyFer
The Dating Game
"Wish both sexes better understood biased selections. F**kboys, f**kgirls, arrogant egotistical people, and deplorable tw*ts will be overrepresented in the pool of people you encounter in a dating setting."
"Normal people form relationships, get tired of all the bulls**t, and 'age out' of the dating pool, all of which makes them underrepresented."
- 5e884898da
Stay the Same
"When I say, 'Just like that,' I don't mean speed up to 100 miles per hour."
- Unlikely_Anywhere464
Not Perfect
"For both sexes, we are flawed people and we are not perfect. Stop expecting everything to be perfect 100% of the time. I'm far from perfect, but I strive to make myself better. I'm married guy."
- ThrowAway97283917
Okay with the Friend Zone
"This might be specific to me, but... If I ask you out, and you say no, that's it. Like there's no lingering weirdness or anything. If you're not interested in me romantically, that's fine."
"I'm perfectly cool just being friends. I won't be awkward or anything about it, won't bring it up, won't bring it up to mutual friends, it was just a question."
"The friend zone isn't a bad thing all the time. Sometimes it's where the best friends come from."
- bstyledevi
Feeling Clueless
"I genuinely have no clue about 99% of the mind games taking place around me."
- SolitaryDumpster
Be Direct
"It's not as romantic, but plainly saying, 'I want the D' would fix so many issues in the communication department."
"Don't come to my place claiming to be interested in my hobbies but really after the D, because I will museum guide you through all that s**t that is my past time, and the idea of unzipping will scarcely occur to me."
- ZenEvadoni
Individualized Emotions
"Just because you keep telling me it's okay to have emotions doesn't mean I'm going to burst into tears. I have emotions, they're just quiet and don't bother people."
"I'm not emotionally distant or unfeeling. I'm just not going to burst into tears because the dog died in 'Marley and Me.' I'll cry when my dog dies in 'My Dog and Me.'"
- DanteWolfe0125
Menstruation Woes
"How bad period pain can get for some women."
"Have you ever been WOKEN UP from pain at 3 AM that didn’t go away for at least a couple of hours so you just stayed awake because going back to sleep was definitely not happening?"
"Painkillers only work for me if I catch it BEFORE it gets bad."
- BluWaff_x
Boundaries, Please
"Just because you think I’m pretty, doesn’t mean I need you to send me a photo of your junk. Come on now."
Connect First
"As a guy, I don't always want to have sex. Wanting to get in your pants isn't an indicator of liking you or not. Sometimes I just want to laugh and see how I enjoy being around you because most people turn out disappointing."
- Vapes-DB
Happy to Help
"We're honestly happy to help you lift stuff and carry stuff and put things away on high shelves. We like being big and strong. But please don't take it for granted. Show your appreciation."
- Fuzzpot
No Means No
"'No' doesn’t mean 'convince me.'"
- prosecutie05579
Some of these examples were heartening, as they apply to both genders, but others, like no meaning no, are disappointing, as it feels like it's a concept all people should understand by now.
Guy Torn After Female Friend’s Husband Privately Asks Him To Stop Hanging Out With Her So Much
If you're a human being with friends of the opposite sex, then you've no doubt borne witness to at least one instance that made you aware of the double standards men and women live under.
Men are expected to head out there and grab the world by the balls, so to speak. If a woman does the same, though, watch out. Her daring is enough to malign her forever.
That's just one example, but it's enough to make you sigh and feel some empathy, right?
While some responses were more humorous than others, people shared their thoughts after Redditor Outrageous-Caller-09 asked the online community:
"What do you sympathize with the opposite sex for?"
"I just can't..."
"I just can't imagine not having pockets, I'm sorry!"
Ooga12359
Whenever I meet a woman who is wearing an outfit that has pockets, she is understandably OVERJOYED.
"I feel sympathy..."
"I feel sympathy with them for their baldness and/or receding hairlines."
worstbreakever
This is all too common – of all the medical breakthroughs out there, you'd think we'd have found a baldness cure by now.
"My boyfriend said..."
"Unwanted public boners. My boyfriend said that during puberty a slight breeze could set it off and it was a very awkward and uncomfortable phase."
krim-bus
Am a dude. Can confirm that this was a VERY awkward and uncomfortable phase.
"Periods."
"Periods. They must suck big time."
CowBizzel
Of this I have no doubt. For every woman who is fortunate not to have cramps or other period-related issues, there are countless women who do.
"All the pain..."
"All the pain you have to go through, periods, childbirth. Gyne exams must be awful. Menopause must be awful."
twithdeltablues
I certainly don't envy women for all of this. I grew up with a single mother and felt like I had a front row seat to all of her discomfort.
"I sympathize..."
"I sympathize that men are expected to be the pursuers and ask the woman out. What if he’s shy?"
binglebell
This is a good point. The pressure can be debilitating!
"As a man..."
"As a man I feel bad for the amount of creepy people a woman might encounter online the moment someone learns their gender."
LeaphyDragon
Online harassment is a very real and serious problem. Many women are bullied offline because of it.
"Male rape victims..."
"Male rape victims not being taken seriously simply because they're men."
Unique-kitten
This isn't to say that women have it "easier" – countless sexual assault and rape cases go unprosecuted year after year – but societal expectations for men are such that they run the risk of being mocked or even laughed it, derided as weak should they come forward.
"Walking around..."
"Walking around with a set of dick and balls sticking out of your body."
Klutzy-Barnacle7298
Hey, hey! It doesn't help that they're so sensitive either. We didn't ask for this, you know!
"Dealing with..."
"Dealing with creeps and guys who can't take NO for an answer."
SASHTv
Rejecting someone's advances can be scary... even dangerous. Women never know how men will react.
Men, ask the women in your life about the experiences – you might learn something new.
And women, don't be afraid to ask the men in your life any questions either. You might come away more enlightened.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Conversation can be one life's scariest actions. Whoever said it was an art form was 100% correct.
Words are beautiful and language is the bedrock of our lives but boy of boy can it create some problems.
One wrong word, or false noun and it can send a conversation reeling.
Having hard chats throughout life though are just part of the deal of living.
It can be especially difficult in relationships with opposite sex. Women are better at communication, that's just fact.
Men have a more arduous time broaching touchy subjects. Some touchier than others.
Case in point...
Redditor aeronachtwanted all of the gents out there to fess about the times they have to make, what could be uncomfortable, chit chat with the ladies, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the most difficult thing to explain to women?"
I've never had much trouble talking to women. Well, except for the one time I had to come out to my girlfriend and explain me and her friend, you know what, never mind. Let's hear from you.
Don't Look
"Idk if it's the most difficult, but it sure did take awhile to explain to my ex that we (guys) don’t look at each other’s penis in the urinals." ~ itsOski13
Be Nice
"In a moment of anger, I’m smart enough to understand that 'shooting off at the mouth and saying something I don’t really mean' is FAR worse than 'saying nothing, realizing ‘it’s not the end of the world,’ and excusing myself to recollect my thoughts.' Just because I walked away from a conversation that was quickly going the wrong way doesn’t mean I’m metaphorically walking away from the other person or the relationship. I occasionally just need a couple minutes/hours." ~ CornerPubRon
Just Move
"Sometimes we are too shy to make the first move or take it further because we don't know if you're ok with that." ~ ungabungamans
"My female friends had a hard time understanding why I was single. I told them I was tired of chasing people, saying cute stuff, etc. I want them to do the same for me, I also want to feel special and worthy."
"They told me that it’s the guy’s obligation to go after the girl and that they wouldn’t make the first move. Had a whole argument with them that they should also try to make the first move or give friendly compliments to their guy friends. We also get tired of being friendly lol." ~ ImportantGreen
Nada
"That I'm happy just hanging out doing nothing." ~ Aggravating_Bat1786
"I feel this. even my (male) friends don't get this sometimes. I genuinely just really like doing nothing, guys. doesn't mean I don't want to hang out- you're more than welcome to come by- but I'm busy doing nothing right now." ~ jereflea1024
Hold Me
"Why I want cuddles everyday." ~ Nightfury0818
"And to be the little spoon. Even if I'm a giant and you'd be my backpack/jetpack, sometimes it's really nice to be the little spoon." ~ subscribe_for_facts
No one should have to explain cuddling. Just be grateful you have someone to cuddle with. For free.
It just happens!
"I can’t control if I get erect or not. If I can’t get hard then being angry with me is not suddenly going to make things better." ~ Hiredgun77
Don't you want me?
"I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep." ~ leemurray98
"I've told this to my girlfriend several times, because it's a pretty big problem for me as well. She tells me sex doesn't just cross her mind randomly if I don't initiate. I remember her initiating 3 or 4 times in the 7 years we've been together. I still feel like a freaking creep every time I start. And when she doesn't reject me, it feels like she's doing me a favor. Very healthy, I know." ~ nudi85
These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...Just before the wedding...
"My misses met my oldest friend at a wedding early last year. Haven't seen him since, or for about ten years before, despite living about three miles away from each other. Just before the wedding, she asked me how come we never met up, I said 'he's alive, isn't he?' Couple of days later at the actual wedding, she asked him the same things, and he also said 'he's alive, isn't he?' She never understood that. Never managed to explain that to her." ~ Fhjull-Forked-Tongue
Contact Sports
"That many men only have meaningful physical contact with their SO. Single men often exist in touch isolation. For a variety of reasons and social pressures many men experience a lack of physical contact. Most men I know won't even feel comfortable hugging their best friend. For a long time the only physical contact I had with other people was either sexual or a part of a competitive sport."
"Getting closer to my middle age I've learned to hug my friends and have platonic physical contact. It's really helped my mental health. I used to feel alone all the time even when I was with friends. Hug your male friends and help them normalize platonic physical affection." ~ zzSc0tchzz
Mirror, Mirror
"We can feel unattractive too. Just because I don't want to sleep with you, doesn't mean I don't love you or find you attractive."
"Just like you, guys can feel insecure about our bodies and not feel confidence, and having you question if it's because we don't love you anymore makes it feel like we can't be honest about those types of things." ~ FFSock
Nothing more.
"Sometimes we just want a hug. Nothing more. Just a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on." ~ Rajun_Cajun1
"nothing"
"When you ask me what Im thinking about, and I occasionally say "nothing" I'm literally staring off into the middle distance and spacing out. Im not failing to share with you. It's like a mini reset button that takes 30 to 90 seconds to reboot the mainframe and stop a shutdown." ~ d3k3d
The Struggle is real...
"We struggle with insecurities, feelings of inadequacy and feeling like we are worthless too and a big thing we struggle with is many of us feel like we are only loved on the condition we provide something, i.e financial resources, ability to protect, that sort of thing and society does a really bad job of even attempting to convince us that isn't true. And in fact the general narrative around the subject actually enforces such feelings rather than attempting to dispel them."
"Growing up we are told we need to earn lots of money in order to provide for a wife and kids and the media shows all the rich guys getting the girls and dating in later years the topic always comes up about how much we make and what our future prospects are like and it can be really discouraging. I've personally been turned down because she unashamedly said i wasn't wealthy enough to keep her happy." ~ dman2316
Not Tonight
"I don't feel like having sex, I'm tired. No it has nothing to do with you, if I desire you, if I think you're attractive. I am honestly tired and just want to sleep tonight." ~ Noah_Deez_Nutz
let's talk...
"That dudes can have a 2 hour conversation with each other (phone, down at the pub, playing online games) and not talk about any personal s**t. My SO finds it super bizarre that I can talk to my brother for an hour and not know how his family is going, how his work is, what holiday plans are. Sometimes some bros just want to talk About movies or make fart jokes." ~ W2ttsy
Today
"When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just don't remember. I usually don't remember what I do, I just live." ~ Ok--Masterpiece
"My husband and I have this backwards. He always wants to talk about his ordinary workday whereas I’d rather not be asked about work because what is there to say? I worked. If anything was exciting about it I would’ve said so." ~ NettyTheMadScientist
Men Need
"Men need foreplay too. A buddy of mine once had a gf who would leave the room to undress before sex to freshen up etc. When she returned if he wasn't completely erect and ready to go she'd cry and accuse him of not being attracted to her. Like, the idea of having sex with her alone should keep him 100% erect for the 10 minutes he was waiting for her." ~ Chiggadup
Good Dad
"That, despite what movies/TV/literature hammer into your brains, fathers can be emotionally available, engaged, great parents. I'm the sole parent of a son and two daughters and I've had to listen to 'what does mom think of her getting this haircut?' and 'tell mom to schedule an appointment' for years. Mom's in a halfway house you twit, and I'm plenty capable of making decisions for my own children." ~ TecumsehSherman
Let me be...
"Some of us. just can't properly express our emotions. Even when we're allowed to be vulnerable. We've been psychological conditioned not to for most of our lives. Even when we try to, there's just. something that won't let it fully come out." ~ JoakimSpinglefarb
We Don't Care
"That when we say we don't care about something, we don't care about it. We're not being stoic, we're not playing games, we're not lying, we literally do not give a flying fig, and the reason why we seem to be a bit tense is that you've asked about it at least 10 times in the last hour." ~ mammbo
Ok gents, time to buck up and share some feelings. You're not alone in your worry. But you can handle it. I have faith in.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
People Break Down Which 'Physical Flaws' They Don't Mind In Someone They're Dating
Time passes. Those genetic features are joined by all the countless nicks and imperfections produced by time eroding, battering a physical body that is the furthest thing from invincible.
So to fall in love--or at least feel attracted to another--one must accept the physical imperfections of the people around them. Nobody lacks them, so to expect that would leave one alone and always disappointed.
Some Redditors who've fully embraced the imperfections of others recently gathered to share their favorite "flaws."
brofistzerodeaths asked, "What is a 'physical flaw' that you dont mind in the opposite sex?"
Inside Out
"If I click with someone they become more and more attractive to me."
"Something that would put me off from a person I don't get along with becomes endearing in a person I like."
-- howardkeel
Plenty to Love
"Crooked or imperfect teeth, scars, stretch marks, other various skin marks, random bulges, moles, body hair, any physical deformities or 'weird' body parts, etc."
"Really physical flaws aren't that much of a problem for me as long as we vibe. I have been with all kinds of people and I'm not bothered by much."
-- LakeofStorms
Equality
"I don't consider being a short guy a physical flaw, but it gets treated that way. I'm only a 5'2 chick, I have ZERO interest in dating a guy who's over 6'. I prefer them in the 5'4 - 5'10 range."
"I don't feel like straining my goddamn neck just to kiss my bf."
Manageable Seduction
"Small breasts. I don't think they're a flaw, but plenty of women do. I think they're are sexy."
"My wife is always lamenting about how hers are too small but I can't get enough of them."
-- JaffaRambo
IT'S OKAY
"Small penises. I promise you it's not that big of a deal. Besides, huge ones can hurt."
"ETA, since there seems to be some confusion: I obviously don't think a small penis is a flaw, but some guys who have them do. Didn't think that needed to be stated but here we are 🙃"
Hot for the Weathered
"Acne scars are hot as hell. Edward James Olmos springs to mind."
"I remember a lady who used to work in a grocery store I frequented and I had to actively try not to look at her, she had a strong jaw and looked like an absolute warrior."
"Would have bought her a drink in a bar, but hitting on people in their workplace isn't cool."
-- damagazelle
The Shapes of Noses
"A hook/Roman nose. I actually find them very attractive."
"Like, if it have to worry about eye injury while making out, then it's perfect." -- GirlsLikeStatus
"I see you like to live dangerously" -- XxsquirrelxX
"I will have to show this to my daughter. She got her dad's nose and she hates it. I think she's beautiful." -- nottypea
Spots to Play With
"Moles, birthmarks. No matter where they are. If you're cuddling naked it's fun to trace the outlines of them with your fingertip (straight female here)." -- DTownForever
"This is really funny to me bc my ex-gf did that to me once (I have hella moles, I keep a photo record of them so my dermatologist can compare and I've had a pre-cancerous cut out even though I'm only 19) and I totally hated it." -- Lonely_Boii_
Time Passing
"'Saggy' boobs. Things sag. That's how gravity works." -- luker_man
"Life saver, I am so self conscious about them" -- omnianadine
"Thank you. I needed this, I am 100% fine with finding grey hairs and wrinkles but I'm finding my boobs sagging the hardest bits of aging." -- ushouldcmoiinacrown
"Don't care for the word, but it's definitely sexy." -- xtrillia
Some Medusa Humor For Ya
"If she has snakes for hair then just one look from her will make me hard af." -- PhreedomPhighter
"This is the dumbest joke, that succeeded to make me laugh." -- TheShrekster_69
"Petrified wood is such a glam look" -- damagazelle
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.