If you're a human being with friends of the opposite sex, then you've no doubt borne witness to at least one instance that made you aware of the double standards men and women live under.
Men are expected to head out there and grab the world by the balls, so to speak. If a woman does the same, though, watch out. Her daring is enough to malign her forever.
That's just one example, but it's enough to make you sigh and feel some empathy, right?
While some responses were more humorous than others, people shared their thoughts after Redditor Outrageous-Caller-09 asked the online community:
"What do you sympathize with the opposite sex for?"
"I just can't..."
"I just can't imagine not having pockets, I'm sorry!"
Whenever I meet a woman who is wearing an outfit that has pockets, she is understandably OVERJOYED.
"I feel sympathy..."
"I feel sympathy with them for their baldness and/or receding hairlines."
This is all too common – of all the medical breakthroughs out there, you'd think we'd have found a baldness cure by now.
"My boyfriend said..."
"Unwanted public boners. My boyfriend said that during puberty a slight breeze could set it off and it was a very awkward and uncomfortable phase."
Am a dude. Can confirm that this was a VERY awkward and uncomfortable phase.
"Periods. They must suck big time."
Of this I have no doubt. For every woman who is fortunate not to have cramps or other period-related issues, there are countless women who do.
"All the pain..."
"All the pain you have to go through, periods, childbirth. Gyne exams must be awful. Menopause must be awful."
I certainly don't envy women for all of this. I grew up with a single mother and felt like I had a front row seat to all of her discomfort.
"I sympathize that men are expected to be the pursuers and ask the woman out. What if he’s shy?"
This is a good point. The pressure can be debilitating!
"As a man..."
"As a man I feel bad for the amount of creepy people a woman might encounter online the moment someone learns their gender."
Online harassment is a very real and serious problem. Many women are bullied offline because of it.
"Male rape victims..."
"Male rape victims not being taken seriously simply because they're men."
This isn't to say that women have it "easier" – countless sexual assault and rape cases go unprosecuted year after year – but societal expectations for men are such that they run the risk of being mocked or even laughed it, derided as weak should they come forward.
"Walking around with a set of dick and balls sticking out of your body."
Hey, hey! It doesn't help that they're so sensitive either. We didn't ask for this, you know!
"Dealing with creeps and guys who can't take NO for an answer."
Rejecting someone's advances can be scary... even dangerous. Women never know how men will react.
Men, ask the women in your life about the experiences – you might learn something new.
And women, don't be afraid to ask the men in your life any questions either. You might come away more enlightened.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Conversation can be one life's scariest actions. Whoever said it was an art form was 100% correct.
Words are beautiful and language is the bedrock of our lives but boy of boy can it create some problems.
One wrong word, or false noun and it can send a conversation reeling.
Having hard chats throughout life though are just part of the deal of living.
It can be especially difficult in relationships with opposite sex. Women are better at communication, that's just fact.
Men have a more arduous time broaching touchy subjects. Some touchier than others.
Case in point...
Redditor aeronacht wanted all of the gents out there to fess about the times they have to make, what could be uncomfortable, chit chat with the ladies, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the most difficult thing to explain to women?"
I've never had much trouble talking to women. Well, except for the one time I had to come out to my girlfriend and explain me and her friend, you know what, never mind. Let's hear from you.
Don't LookPeek A Boo Reaction GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy
"Idk if it's the most difficult, but it sure did take awhile to explain to my ex that we (guys) don’t look at each other’s penis in the urinals." ~ itsOski13
"In a moment of anger, I’m smart enough to understand that 'shooting off at the mouth and saying something I don’t really mean' is FAR worse than 'saying nothing, realizing ‘it’s not the end of the world,’ and excusing myself to recollect my thoughts.' Just because I walked away from a conversation that was quickly going the wrong way doesn’t mean I’m metaphorically walking away from the other person or the relationship. I occasionally just need a couple minutes/hours." ~ CornerPubRon
"Sometimes we are too shy to make the first move or take it further because we don't know if you're ok with that." ~ ungabungamans
"My female friends had a hard time understanding why I was single. I told them I was tired of chasing people, saying cute stuff, etc. I want them to do the same for me, I also want to feel special and worthy."
"They told me that it’s the guy’s obligation to go after the girl and that they wouldn’t make the first move. Had a whole argument with them that they should also try to make the first move or give friendly compliments to their guy friends. We also get tired of being friendly lol." ~ ImportantGreen
"That I'm happy just hanging out doing nothing." ~ Aggravating_Bat1786
"I feel this. even my (male) friends don't get this sometimes. I genuinely just really like doing nothing, guys. doesn't mean I don't want to hang out- you're more than welcome to come by- but I'm busy doing nothing right now." ~ jereflea1024
Hold MeTeddy Bear Cat GIFGiphy
"Why I want cuddles everyday." ~ Nightfury0818
"And to be the little spoon. Even if I'm a giant and you'd be my backpack/jetpack, sometimes it's really nice to be the little spoon." ~ subscribe_for_facts
No one should have to explain cuddling. Just be grateful you have someone to cuddle with. For free.
It just happens!Who Knows Idk GIFGiphy
"I can’t control if I get erect or not. If I can’t get hard then being angry with me is not suddenly going to make things better." ~ Hiredgun77
Don't you want me?
"I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep." ~ leemurray98
"I've told this to my girlfriend several times, because it's a pretty big problem for me as well. She tells me sex doesn't just cross her mind randomly if I don't initiate. I remember her initiating 3 or 4 times in the 7 years we've been together. I still feel like a freaking creep every time I start. And when she doesn't reject me, it feels like she's doing me a favor. Very healthy, I know." ~ nudi85
These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh MyyySometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...
Just before the wedding...
"My misses met my oldest friend at a wedding early last year. Haven't seen him since, or for about ten years before, despite living about three miles away from each other. Just before the wedding, she asked me how come we never met up, I said 'he's alive, isn't he?' Couple of days later at the actual wedding, she asked him the same things, and he also said 'he's alive, isn't he?' She never understood that. Never managed to explain that to her." ~ Fhjull-Forked-Tongue
"That many men only have meaningful physical contact with their SO. Single men often exist in touch isolation. For a variety of reasons and social pressures many men experience a lack of physical contact. Most men I know won't even feel comfortable hugging their best friend. For a long time the only physical contact I had with other people was either sexual or a part of a competitive sport."
"Getting closer to my middle age I've learned to hug my friends and have platonic physical contact. It's really helped my mental health. I used to feel alone all the time even when I was with friends. Hug your male friends and help them normalize platonic physical affection." ~ zzSc0tchzz
Mirror, MirrorBenicio Del Toro Man GIFGiphy
"We can feel unattractive too. Just because I don't want to sleep with you, doesn't mean I don't love you or find you attractive."
"Just like you, guys can feel insecure about our bodies and not feel confidence, and having you question if it's because we don't love you anymore makes it feel like we can't be honest about those types of things." ~ FFSock
"Sometimes we just want a hug. Nothing more. Just a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on." ~ Rajun_Cajun1
"When you ask me what Im thinking about, and I occasionally say "nothing" I'm literally staring off into the middle distance and spacing out. Im not failing to share with you. It's like a mini reset button that takes 30 to 90 seconds to reboot the mainframe and stop a shutdown." ~ d3k3d
The Struggle is real...
"We struggle with insecurities, feelings of inadequacy and feeling like we are worthless too and a big thing we struggle with is many of us feel like we are only loved on the condition we provide something, i.e financial resources, ability to protect, that sort of thing and society does a really bad job of even attempting to convince us that isn't true. And in fact the general narrative around the subject actually enforces such feelings rather than attempting to dispel them."
"Growing up we are told we need to earn lots of money in order to provide for a wife and kids and the media shows all the rich guys getting the girls and dating in later years the topic always comes up about how much we make and what our future prospects are like and it can be really discouraging. I've personally been turned down because she unashamedly said i wasn't wealthy enough to keep her happy." ~ dman2316
Not TonightNo Thank You Reaction GIFGiphy
"I don't feel like having sex, I'm tired. No it has nothing to do with you, if I desire you, if I think you're attractive. I am honestly tired and just want to sleep tonight." ~ Noah_Deez_Nutz
"That dudes can have a 2 hour conversation with each other (phone, down at the pub, playing online games) and not talk about any personal s**t. My SO finds it super bizarre that I can talk to my brother for an hour and not know how his family is going, how his work is, what holiday plans are. Sometimes some bros just want to talk About movies or make fart jokes." ~ W2ttsy
"When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just don't remember. I usually don't remember what I do, I just live." ~ Ok--Masterpiece
"My husband and I have this backwards. He always wants to talk about his ordinary workday whereas I’d rather not be asked about work because what is there to say? I worked. If anything was exciting about it I would’ve said so." ~ NettyTheMadScientist
"Men need foreplay too. A buddy of mine once had a gf who would leave the room to undress before sex to freshen up etc. When she returned if he wasn't completely erect and ready to go she'd cry and accuse him of not being attracted to her. Like, the idea of having sex with her alone should keep him 100% erect for the 10 minutes he was waiting for her." ~ Chiggadup
"That, despite what movies/TV/literature hammer into your brains, fathers can be emotionally available, engaged, great parents. I'm the sole parent of a son and two daughters and I've had to listen to 'what does mom think of her getting this haircut?' and 'tell mom to schedule an appointment' for years. Mom's in a halfway house you twit, and I'm plenty capable of making decisions for my own children." ~ TecumsehSherman
Let me be...South Asian Man GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Some of us. just can't properly express our emotions. Even when we're allowed to be vulnerable. We've been psychological conditioned not to for most of our lives. Even when we try to, there's just. something that won't let it fully come out." ~ JoakimSpinglefarb
We Don't Care
"That when we say we don't care about something, we don't care about it. We're not being stoic, we're not playing games, we're not lying, we literally do not give a flying fig, and the reason why we seem to be a bit tense is that you've asked about it at least 10 times in the last hour." ~ mammbo
Ok gents, time to buck up and share some feelings. You're not alone in your worry. But you can handle it. I have faith in.
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Time passes. Those genetic features are joined by all the countless nicks and imperfections produced by time eroding, battering a physical body that is the furthest thing from invincible.
So to fall in love--or at least feel attracted to another--one must accept the physical imperfections of the people around them. Nobody lacks them, so to expect that would leave one alone and always disappointed.
Some Redditors who've fully embraced the imperfections of others recently gathered to share their favorite "flaws."
brofistzerodeaths asked, "What is a 'physical flaw' that you dont mind in the opposite sex?"
"If I click with someone they become more and more attractive to me."
"Something that would put me off from a person I don't get along with becomes endearing in a person I like."
Plenty to Love
"Crooked or imperfect teeth, scars, stretch marks, other various skin marks, random bulges, moles, body hair, any physical deformities or 'weird' body parts, etc."
"Really physical flaws aren't that much of a problem for me as long as we vibe. I have been with all kinds of people and I'm not bothered by much."
"I don't consider being a short guy a physical flaw, but it gets treated that way. I'm only a 5'2 chick, I have ZERO interest in dating a guy who's over 6'. I prefer them in the 5'4 - 5'10 range."
"I don't feel like straining my goddamn neck just to kiss my bf."
"Small breasts. I don't think they're a flaw, but plenty of women do. I think they're are sexy."
"My wife is always lamenting about how hers are too small but I can't get enough of them."
"Small penises. I promise you it's not that big of a deal. Besides, huge ones can hurt."
"ETA, since there seems to be some confusion: I obviously don't think a small penis is a flaw, but some guys who have them do. Didn't think that needed to be stated but here we are 🙃"
Hot for the Weathered
"Acne scars are hot as hell. Edward James Olmos springs to mind."
"I remember a lady who used to work in a grocery store I frequented and I had to actively try not to look at her, she had a strong jaw and looked like an absolute warrior."
"Would have bought her a drink in a bar, but hitting on people in their workplace isn't cool."
The Shapes of Noses
"A hook/Roman nose. I actually find them very attractive."
"Like, if it have to worry about eye injury while making out, then it's perfect." -- GirlsLikeStatus
"I see you like to live dangerously" -- XxsquirrelxX
"I will have to show this to my daughter. She got her dad's nose and she hates it. I think she's beautiful." -- nottypea
Spots to Play With
"Moles, birthmarks. No matter where they are. If you're cuddling naked it's fun to trace the outlines of them with your fingertip (straight female here)." -- DTownForever
"This is really funny to me bc my ex-gf did that to me once (I have hella moles, I keep a photo record of them so my dermatologist can compare and I've had a pre-cancerous cut out even though I'm only 19) and I totally hated it." -- Lonely_Boii_
"'Saggy' boobs. Things sag. That's how gravity works." -- luker_man
"Life saver, I am so self conscious about them" -- omnianadine
"Thank you. I needed this, I am 100% fine with finding grey hairs and wrinkles but I'm finding my boobs sagging the hardest bits of aging." -- ushouldcmoiinacrown
"Don't care for the word, but it's definitely sexy." -- xtrillia
Some Medusa Humor For Ya
"If she has snakes for hair then just one look from her will make me hard af." -- PhreedomPhighter
"This is the dumbest joke, that succeeded to make me laugh." -- TheShrekster_69
"Petrified wood is such a glam look" -- damagazelle
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Society gets confused about when two people of opposing genders are best friends.
It's never that you can just be friends. People make assumptions constantly about you both and how your relationship with each other must be.
And to make it worse, people that you love and trust do this to you too.
Here were some of those answers.
Nobody Believes You
Definitely the stress it puts on my relationship. There is always at least a little bit of jealousy and protectiveness.
The parent's questions.
You sure you don't like her? *Gives knowing wink*
"She looks like she's taking real good care of you"
Constantly being asked if you all are together or when you're going to be a couple.
My friend used to introduce me as his sister just because of this. Luckily we look somewhat alike, soulless gingers we are.
everyone thinks it's going to end up in some Julia Roberts "we were in love the whole time" stuff
people will even say it in front of your SO
no- that's my friend- how hard is it to understand?
Making It Bearable
A female friend of mine started dating a yoga guy with a top knot, can't stand that guy
It really is annoying when the guys they like to date clash with your personality. Can be frustrating when they want to do stuff and you cant stand their partner and they cant stand you.
The Same Everywhere
Jealousy from my SO. I have to second-guess all the things I do or say to my SO when it comes to things about the best friend. I try to make sure she doesn't overthink anything. I have a lot of anxiety when she overthinks and I just can't seem to snap her out of it. Hiding things from her isn't something I want, and doesn't really seem like it'll help if at all. I don't know how to deal with the amount of anxiety and stress I feel, all I can hope is I can get better.
When It DOES Happen
I've had a female best friend for over 20 years. The worst part is we have occasional phases where one of us wanted to be more than friends. It gets really emotional and weird until it passes and things go back to normal. It seems to get stronger every time though and it's scary. We're both terrible at relationships and I can't imagine losing an almost life long friendship over it.
The worst part for me is when I meet her new fella for the first time and a few beers in he asks if his girlfriend and I have ever slept together. I feel bad because I know at that point his days are numbered because they always end up the jealous, possessive type - those dudes don't last.
Also, just like to say clearly a few people in here don't understand the meaning of friendship. You aren't friends if you're just sitting around waiting for her to have sex with you. Sort yourselves out you scrubs.
Scary Treading Water
Wondering if you'd be great together but then you're not really attracted to them so you'll probably never know. And even if you are attracted to them you wouldn't risk becoming more than friends because what if it doesn't work out?
The Most Difficult Part
You can't talk about gender-specific issues with them. I don't mind best friends who are guys, but it's hard for them to understand the pains of bleeding through your freaking underwear.
Have you ever thought about whether or not you would date yourself?
Would you be a good date? A good partner? Are you nice enough to yourself and to other people?
Would you have fun at Coney Island with yourself? These are the important questions.
Here were some of those answers.
Could You Be Partners?
Sure. I get along great with myself.
The major downside would be though, there would be no covering for each others weaknesses and complementing each others strengths.
Yeah she'd probably know all the best taco places.
Doesn't that imply that you already know all the best taco places? That knowledge doesn't stack, you either know them or you don't.
Two shy people, neither of whom is ready to speak first.. Not likely.
But surely you'll be able to relate and understand each other better, having the same traits. For a shy person, having someone who understands you can really bring the best out of you.
To Protect The World From Devastation
I'm already horrible enough as is, the world isn't ready for trouble, make it double.
Ok team rocket calm down
I actually did, for a while, date a girl that was like my mirror copy. Not physically, but personality, world view, attitude, opinions.
Met at college. Hit it off amazingly, had so much in common, literally completing each others sentences from get go. Living the dream.
But over the years, it ruined our relationship. It was an echo chamber. If there ever was a situation I couldn't handle, she couldn't either, and it would blow up. I couldn't appreciate the good in her, because I was used to it in myself.
Went our separate ways shortly after college. I still remember our time together fondly. But unless you both are the perfect human being, that kind of relationship doesn't work.
Absolutely. Assuming there's any physical attraction we enjoy the same things, have similar standards, care about the same people - it'd be a good match. Are all of my traits awesome for dating? No, but I of all people can understand them and where she'd be coming from, and no one is more used to living with me and the consequences of that than I am...
It's a good deal, I think.
At worst? I (we both) learn a lot about ourselves and we grow as people. I think it'd work out - but if it didn't? Well, it was fun trying.
A Simple Answer
Lol no, I did the girl snapchat filter and I looked exactly like my sister. Plus I'm gay anyways
No, I generally rely on other people to keep the conversation going.
With two me's, its gonna be a whole lot of silence.
"Yeah, I like that, too"
Time Enough At Last
In terms of personality, we'd do great together. Finally! Someone who understands what I mean when I say "spend time alone, together." Ideally she'd be as into building random stuff as I am. Not to mention doing hallucinogens with myself would be pretty fun.
Now, the problem would be that I'm a pretty shallow person. I'm not bad looking so hopefully she wouldn't be either, but it's possible she may decide that I'm not hot enough. Or maybe she'll look just like me, and even if I'm not a bad looking dude, I'd make an ugly woman.
I would - I think i'm a fun, well rounded individual, who has my life put together. I'd totally love to hang out with me. Plus, having the same views on money management would be a great bonus!