Redditor TheRealOcsiban wanted to hear about the people who left many of us with a deep sense of unease, so they asked:
"What made the creepiest person you ever met so creepy?"
People who stare for a little too long without speaking always freak me out.
It's rude to share.
What are your evil eyes really saying?
On Camera
Giphy"He followed me for 3 miles after I left physical therapy and only f**ked off when I went into a store that I knew had cameras all over the place."
isapika
Rambo
"Was kayaking a river when some dumba** decided to dive off a cliff head first into a rock below the surface of the water and had a huge gash in his head. A guy came running out of the woods full Rambo attire headband and all. Poured moonshine over the cut and bandaged the guy up then ran back into the woods. Pretty creepy but probably saved that guy's life."
Over my Shoulder
"(25 Female) Was working out at a fairly busy gym with one other person in the gym at the time as it was late at night. He made a point to only work out on the equipment directly behind me, and every time I would move to another, he would move to the machine behind. It happened so many times that I started to text my boyfriend to tell him I was getting kind of creeped out by a guy at the gym and I was uncomfortable because I was alone in the building with him."
"There’s an entire wall in this gym that’s just a long mirror so you can see the entire room through this giant thing. I look up at the mirror as I’m texting my boyfriend and this man was standing behind me and reading my text over my shoulder from behind the machine. Instead of freaking out and making the situation more dangerous for myself, I stood up and got off the machine and put my phone in my pocket, and briskly walked to the front door without even turning around."
"I walked out and got in my car safely but by this point, I was full of adrenaline and fear. Luckily he didn’t follow. I don’t know why he would have done that, or what his intentions were but I noped the f**k out of there. Reported it to my gym the next day and was told they would investigate and handle it. Never saw him again, thank God."
UndiagnosedOtter
Chilled
"Random guy walks into the restaurant I was working at before. He asked for a crazy coworker (we didn't interact at all) if she was working or if I can give her the schedule. I declined both because it was information he didn't need to know. Told another coworker at the time, and she told me the same guy would sit at a corner table and watch her work."
"At that point, I told her that he was banned and to let a crazy coworker tell him he was banned and can't come back. I also informed the cooks to have the cooks make sure she left safely. This only happened because he happened to give me a creepy chill down my spine when he walked in and asked the question."
lazyfoo_3
Contact Ended
"He kept looking at my feet and ankle and asked to rub my feet the first time I decided to hang out with him. Luckily when he approached me, while he was cute, I was cautious and made our first hangout a group hangout which now I am so glad about. He got creepier the second hangout (public again) and then when I decided a couple of hangouts were enough and I ended our contact, I later saw him in the news arrested for trying to break into a girl's house and trying to attack her."
AgitatedCress7062
Okay, that is too much. The foresight to do a group hang was really something.
Dogs Know
"He had no friends so to be nice one day I invited him over after school to trade some cards. The second my dog met him doggo's body language shifted to tense and alert."
"The dog wouldn't let us be in the same room without sitting between us and straight stared him down the entire time and it was the weirdest vibe. Never did that to anyone else. Creepiest dude I ever met, to be honest. While he was over he openly told me he stole a girl's wallet so he could 'find it' and ask her out. I didn't hang out with him anymore after that."
Achaern
You know nothing...
"Dude called other people NPCs (non-player characters) and couldn't understand that women have their own thoughts that don't involve trying to impress men. Like... he couldn't understand that women have hobbies because they're fun. Weird, narcissistic, and creepy. Oh yeah, he doesn't like it when he gets called creepy."
haunted-poopy
The Crazy Influencer
"He stalked me, threatened me, got me involved in a cross-country legal thing, caused me to beg for a restraining order which was finally granted, lied about me, harassed me, and showed up to my house with a gun. Why? I was his coworker at a retail store for a few months and said “no” when he wanted to date randomly. I barely knew his name at the time… he’s an 'influencer' now that he’s out of jail."
AleshiniaLivesStill
My Protector
"I had a client whose dog protected me from him. He had a creepy fake smile, and that pit bull sat on my foot, staring at him, and keeping herself between us. He laughed and said she's always protecting him, but if she was, she wouldn't have her back to me. She was keeping him away from me."
Hopefulkitty
Listen to the gut...
"I can't put a finger on why I was creeped out by him the first time we met, but a few months later he murdered two people."
"So I'm really glad I was creeped out by him the first time we met."
Ok_Whatever_Buddy
This is why I try never to leave the house.
Some people have lost their minds.
Be safe out there!
"What is the most WTF thing happened with your neighbor?"
Whatever happened to delivering cookies to a neighbor or asking to borrow cooking supplies? No one knows.
Between Two Crazies
"FBI raided my neighbor to the left, and the neighbor on the right came over asking if I could give him clean urine so he wouldn’t get fired at work. He also bragged about being a bank robber in Reno. I tried to look it up but didn’t find anything. I just wonder why he would say/do these things lol. Definitely don’t live in that neighborhood anymore."
– TheMoonDays
Creepiness Underfoot
"stopped to have a casual chat with our downstairs neighbor when we first moved in. all normal small talk, until he mentions that his bedroom is directly under ours, creepily smiles, and goes into detail about everything he’s heard."
– HazelnutSoup
Too Close For Comfort
"When my husband and I were dating as teens he lived in a duplex with a mom and a daughter my age on the other side. I ended up working with the daughter. One night she told me her mom’s bedroom was on the other side of the wall from my boyfriend/now husband’s bedroom."
"One day the daughter told me at work that her mom always listened to us having sex. I just stared at her. How do you even respond to that?"
– Pea-and-Pen
Unannounced Visitor
"I recently had a neighbor show up at the end of my front walk and freak the f'k out at my fiancée because the phone company told her that she owes them almost $300 bucks and that the equipment was at our address."
"Barring how insanely irresponsible it was of the phone company to casually give away our address, we proved to her during a tour of our house that we don't have any equipment from that company. She read the company the riot act and apologized to us. We're now all friends who mutually hate the phone company."
– mxmnull
What's Mine Is Not Yours
"Military husband married to non-English speaking wife:"
"Husband was deployed, wife would frequently invite her extended family over to their house and her guests would block ours and several other neighbor’s driveways with their vehicles. When we asked them to move because we needed to leave, they asked 'can we park in your garage?' Uhhh, NO."
– SuperShineeCoinToss7
You would think these types of occurrences would happen only on TV.
Why Security Cams Are Important
"A long while ago the woman a few houses down from us passed out in the alley by her garage. it was late at night and she was known to be a heavy drinker. the guy who lived next door to her came driving through the alley not long after she passed out and, well, he was drunk as well and hit her thinking she was a trash bag left outside, she didn't survive."
"he decided to park in his own garage and run inside like nothing happened. my StepMom came home from her shift at the hospital soon after all this, SM saw the woman in the alley and got out to check on her. THEN the guy comes out of his house freaking out, asking what happened, and claiming SM hit & murdered this woman."
"obviously SM ignores him and calls the police, dude still tries to convince the police that SM ran the woman over. it would have gone on much longer if the neighbors across the alley didn't have security cameras. the whole incident was recorded and the guy was quickly carted off to court. apologies i dont remember how/what he was charged with, this was a very long time ago."
"f'king crazy man, thanks security cams!"
– qhloae
Busted
"In one of the small culdesac neighborhood's I grew up in, turns out one of the neighbors was involved in human trafficking and sex trafficking of minors and was finally raided by the FBI. There were so many cops when I came back home from school."
– Mirror1rorriM
Crazy Starts Young
"Terror of a 10yo girl next door ended up dumping gasoline out of a lawn mower can on another neighbor’s 10yo boy and threatened to set him on fire. This little girl has also used the other neighbor’s credit card for door dash and phone games, screams at her parents constantly, is always truant, and most recently I saw her climb out her window and grab door dash off the porch and climb back in. She’s an absolute menace"
– Special-Emu3
This Could've Ended Badly
"I got drunk one night, stumbled home from the bar…my key wouldn’t unlock the door so I opened the living room window crawled in and passed out on the couch. Found out the next morning it wasn’t my house."
– JDB6986
Garage Gas Leak
"They were running some sort of chop shop out of their garage. I was told they jack hammered through their garage floor to get to the gas line before the meter. Apparently they did a poor job and they caused a gas leak which led to an explosion that sent their garage door flying out into the street."
Lost Daughters
"She broke into my apartment with a baseball bat searching for the 2 girls that lived here before me."
– Prestigious-Piano-48
Never Upset Mother
"A few years ago the mom of some of my friends shot and killed their dad and cut him up and put him those plastic storage totes. My friend came home from vacation had to break into the house through a window found the totes called his mom and asked her what it was, he response was 'its your father call the police.'"
– No-Juggernaut2968
Panties Pilferer
"In college, the guy in the dormroom next to mine got caught stealing panties out of the communal laundry room."
"They interviewed him in his room, with cops, and saw an open box in the corner of the room with a collection of panties - labeled by owner's name."
"He was arrested."
– Ganglebot
Lab Gone Wrong
"Underground meth lab blew up and basically sunk their house."
– iboughtmars
What is up with doors and neighbors? Read on and find out.
Getting Unhinged
"Someone stole his front door in the middle of the night. No, really. Someone went out of their way to somehow unhinge the doors and flat out take his entire door."
"Edit: this was in SF 5-6 years ago. No they never found out who did it. I don’t know how they got the door down either. Neighbor put up curtains for privacy until he was able to get a new one. Nothing else was stolen, just the door to his house."
– Shrek1onDVD
Special Delivery
"Shortly after my neighbor moved in I hear this banging in my door at like 2am."
"Get up and answer and my neighbor is standing there, topless, holding a door trying to convince me that I dropped it when I came over to meet her dogs."
"Turns out she has a sleepwalking problem, pulled her bedroom door off the hinges and brought it to me in her sleep."
– warboy3
I, fortunately, lived in a relatively fine area, but our family wasn't particularly close to any of our neighbors. My parents kept to themselves as we were the only Asian family in the neighborhood.
But last year during the pandemic, we put our house on the market as my parents prepared to move back to Japan.
As I was hauling some stuff out into the rollaway dumpster in the street, our next-door neighbor approached me because she was worried about my parents. She thought they had passed.
When I assured her they were still very much with us, she was very relieved and said, "I see your dad watering the flowers and your mom getting the mail sometimes. They seem so sweet."
Since this was just around the time COVID-19 vaccinations were starting to become available but were still hard to get, she asked me if my parents were vaccinated yet and offered to make them available if they weren't. She was a nurse at the hospital my dad went to when he suffered a heart attack.
Because my parents were vaccinated by then, I thanked the friendly neighbor I never knew I had for her sweet gesture.
My story is not a WTF moment, but it was one that served as a humbling reminder that there is still plenty of kindness in the world.
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I'll set the stage: it's a small, very rural, farming town. *cue banjos* The neighbors that moved in next door were nice but a bit...different. They are a slightly older couple who decided to start their own home-based church, often meeting at the house. Fine, whatever right? Well, they also enjoy sharing conspiracy theories, and apparently, just a home and plain fence were too normal.
It started with the spray paint on the fence. Gems like "Repent Now", "Salvation" and simply "JESUS" scrawled in bright red paint on an old wooden fence. Then they decided to form a church band in their garage. A home gospel garage band except none of them can sing. Or really play. They also write some of their own songs and "practice" regularly.
So now all summer long (for a couple of years now) my sister--and I when visiting--get to enjoy the sound of loud, off-tune, caterwauling while the two small dogs yap nonstop right outside in accompaniment. Welcome to rural Maine... pics or it didn't happen, right?
Google Maps
Redditor PickYourPoison2020 wanted to hear the juiciest neighbor drama the internet had to offer.
They asked:
"Screw love thy neighbor, why do you hate yours?"
If you've got one to top these we want to hear it.
Did she think no one would notice?
“I planted a smoke tree in my yard. Its a tree is red colored leaves. She dug it up and planted it in her own yard. I mean, who does crap like that? A crazy person. She is nuts.”
“Her daughter graduated from high school and moved to Northern CA. She rented her house out, and moved to Northern CA. Her daughter had moved to get away from her. She is crazy. We ignored her. I did put up an 8 foot fence.”
“dad chasing teenage son around their front yard with a snow shovel...”
“Trailer trash freeloading on their poor old grandmom's goodwill. They don't lift a finger to help her take trash out, get groceries, anything. She's like 85+ with the blinder glasses they give you at the eye doctor after a dilation and a walker."
“Have seen and heard everything from cops showing up, loud car stereo, power tools, screaming matches, and a full-blown dad chasing teenage son around their front yard with a snow shovel yelling 'I'll f**king kill you' for 20 minutes, all happening at all hours of the night and morning."
trailer boys GIFGiphyWanna bet they're also anti-maskers?
“During the pandemic shutdown, my backyard neighbors illegally and without permits, cut down two huge beautiful trees, slashed through the root system to build a retaining wall behind our shared fence, raised their property by 2 feet, and put in an outdoor patio with a kitchen and sitting area with TV.”
“They destroyed my septic system, and installed drainage pipes under the patio which drain against the fence, into my now destroyed septic system, leading to my yard being flooded with sewage water almost constantly. On top of this, they've had huge get togethers all pandemic long, with anywhere from 10-50 people in their yard, being loud, several times per week.”
“I've tried to get help from our local building inspector, but the wife's father is a well known and influential contractor, so they won't do anything. In the 2 years they've been there they've rendered my yard useless and tanked my property value. That's why I hate my neighbors.”
Poor little kitten!
“They arent my neighbors anymore, but they moved into a 2 bedroom house with a TON of foster kids. I'm happy they are fostering but they do NOT monitor these kids at all. Neighbors on the other side had to put up a fence because these kids kept trespassing on their property (I'm talking right up on the house and everything)."
“They would blast very vulgar music through speakers out the house windows all hours of the day, they threw trash in our yard all the time, they trespassed. The parents screamed at us once for shoveling the snow off their sidewalk for them. The rest of the neighbors on the street were elderly so we just did the whole street all the time."
"Worst of all though was when they broke into my house and stole our new kitten because they wanted it. Their dog tried to kill her, so instead of returning her they took her to an abandoned house and dumped her there. We never saw her again."
"The room they stole the cat from was trashed. When we confronted the parents about it they just blamed us and then had some of their relatives harass us via Facebook. We also had 2 ducks and they would regularly harass the ducks."
"One time they drove a lawnmower into our yard and right up against the duck fence, scared the sh!t out of them until the one duck got its head stuck in the fence and couldn't get out. Then they yelled at me because the duck was quacking loudly for help and I wasn't home at the time to do anything about it."
"God damn was I glad to move away from there. I purposefully bought a house with a lot of land so that I have a 'buffer zone' between me and any more potential bad neighbors."
30k wasn't a bad trade off...
“They poisoned my western red cedar because it was casting shade on their pool and dropping needles on their guest house. They drilled a few holes into the tree and poured poison into it. We noticed when the tree started to die from the top down.”
“Can't hate them too much tho we took the to court and got 30k for it. They still hate us, they glare at us every time the see us ; especially when we are on the patio...since we built it with the money we got from them.”
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
We need a drink just hearing it.
“They leave their dog out on their deck, tied to the railing with a VERY short leash, in summer heat or winter cold. It barks all day and whines to be let in but it's ignored until about midnight when they let it into the garage to sleep. Ugh humanity."
“Animal Control called, HOA has been notified, all to no avail. Just a reprimand saying don't leave your dog out in extreme weather (subzero or 100+F for more than 3 hours according to our county laws, which I think is BS), it's technically under 'shelter' which is a tiny piece of tarp that is pretty much useless, and they can't do anything about the barking cuz it's a dog and that's what dogs do."
"Other than it being tied outside, no signs of abuse, it's well fed and they play with it in the afternoon, albeit in their unfenced front yard and the dog is off the leash running around after tennis balls in the freaking street. HOA has been informed about the leash thing and noise ordinance violation (dog barking excessive noise after 10:30 pm) but not sure if there are disciplinary procedures regarding that."
"They moved in a month after I moved into my house. I hate them---my blood pressure. Also they had the nerve to complain to me that someone called Animal Control and HOA on him and he has terrible neighbors... I laughed in his face. I need a drink."
Sweet, satisfying revenge...
“I hate my neighbor because they used to burn garbage in their fireplace. It made foul smelling black smoke. When asked to stop burning it they threw it over the fence into our yard. Our dogs shredded the bags, and all three went to the vet for the night. I got my vengeance by throwing mint seeds into their anal-retentively well kept yard. Hearing him try to keep it under control is delicious.”
merciless evil laugh GIFGiphy“a voice that sounds like she just smoked 10 Newport's...”
“If she catches you outside, you're stuck in a conversation that you CANNOT get out of. She hates the neighbor's dog, on the other side of me. So when I'm trying to garden in peace, I have her yelling at the dog across my back yard, while it in turn barks at her. The whole time talking my ear off, in a voice that sounds like she just smoked 10 newports before i got outside. Which makes me not want to go outside, and I end up neglecting my garden sometimes.”
Others had the same problem being trapped in conversation.
“We just moved away from a very similar neighbor. She learned our schedule, would wait outside our place for us after work, coming home from walking the dog, etc. We felt like prisoners at our own home. Can't tell you how many times we circled the block waiting for her to go inside so we could avoid a 30 minute convo.”
“She's even resorted to bringing us our mail so that she can talk our ears off. The worst part of it all is that she means well, she's a super nice older lady who probably is just lonely, but personal space is necessary and sometime you just want to get home and unwind after work rather than listen to Marge talk about how the neighborhood used to look in 1997 and what each of her 11 grand kids want for Christmas.”
Ankle-biters...
“They have 2 annoying little yapper dogs and 2 kids they don't try to shut up or control. Thier kids hang over the fence teasing/playing with my dogs until they are barking mad.”
“First day we moved in the kids started and I asked them and their parents to not do it. I've since had many words with the parents next door....like talking to a brick wall. I'm moving in a couple weeks, I'm positive my dogs will like the new backyard.”
Pot kettle, kettle pot...
“Has a rock band that practices all the time (LOUD).. no one ever says anything to him about it. I play country on my little portable speaker at 7 on a Saturday and he huffy and puffs and asks me to turn my music down... hypocrite.” Extremelyhotchick
“gifted their three teenage kids dirtbikes for Christmas, duck calls...”
“One behind my house has multiple swastika tattoos and some kind of illicit business operating out of his house.The ones across the street gifted their three teenage kids dirtbikes for Christmas, duck calls for their birthdays and apparently an airhorn at some point recently.”
“We live in an otherwise quiet suburb surrounded by wide open space. Yet there is apparently nowhere better to ride dirt bikes or enjoy the wonderful sport of bad duck calls and uncreative swearing besides the street 15 feet from my house. They make swastika guy look like a good neighbor.” greypouponlifestyle
Before you moved in?
“They came over to complain about the noise before I moved in. The moving truck hadn't even shown up yet… he has been coming over regularly to complain even when there's not people here so I don't know if he has auditory hallucinations or what his problem is.” Possible_Koala2192
Glad the dogs are ok...
“My neighbor has two huge pit bulls that have ripped the fence between our properties to pieces and gotten into my yard a few times, and we've had to call animal control and the police. All the neighbors have called animal control and the cops about them.”
“They used to leave the dogs outside unsupervised and one would bark non-stop. Sometimes it would bark for 3 hours straight from midnight until 3 a.m.”
“We started to get an outdoor rat problem so I put out poison. I also have dogs, so I bought dog-proof bait boxes to keep them from getting at the poison.”
“This guy's dogs ripped through my fence and pulled the poison box into their yard and ripped it open to eat the poison (mind you, this box had been in my yard with my dogs without being ripped open for weeks). They found the box and asked what it was and I immediately told them what type of poison it was and to go to the vet.”
“The dogs are fine.Then the guy flips out on me about paying the vet bills. I told him hell no, it's not my fault he lets his dogs tear their way into my yard.” WTF_HomeSlice
angry dog GIFGiphy“didn’t get mail for three weeks...”
“They have a junkyard in their backyard and it is now spilling out in to their front yard. There is someone up 24 hours a day banging and throwing sh!t all loud doing god knows what. Also their dog bit the mail lady so the entire street didn't get mail for 3 weeks." attackedmoose
They didn't get invited.
“The men who live in the apartment across from mine have sex very loudly. Like, so loud I can't sleep at night. I knocked on their door one time while they were going at it, and when one of them answered the door I practically screamed at him 'I can't sleep because you guys f*ck so loudly. Either keep it down or invite me.' Sadly, they never invited me. But they have been quieter." BigGamerDood
“One night I had enough and called the SPCA...”
“They constantly
“This couple has 4-5kids who are constantly screaming and fighting. They all stomp up and down the stairs and slam doors. (Quick aside: they've slammed their balcony door so hard a few times it made the stuff on the mantle in my living room rattle.) The mom used to blast the tv in her room at 1am until I complained.”
“Easily worst of all: they used to have this really sweet little black cat that they neglected. They never fed him, and he was so scrawny his hip bones jutted out. I would give him food whenever I saw him.”
“One night I had enough and called the SPCA on them because it was below zero and there was plenty of snow on the ground. They basically left him out there to die because they got a new dog and stopped caring about him. Idk what happened to him after they took him away, but I hope he's good.” throwaway1946282
Those poor kids...
“I shared a wall with a family of 4 for 5 years. At least twice a week the mom would freak out at one of the kids, screaming at them for at least 30 minutes. Often it was clear that she was spanking them or some other form of physical punishment, because the kids would cry and scream as well."
“This happened at all hours including 3am a few times. One weekend I let two of my friends stay on my couch, because they were in between leases and couldn't afford a hotel."
“The family found out and tried to get me evicted for having guests over for too long. My ahole land lord took their side, but let me off with a warning. When I brought up all the sh!t they did, he said that that wasn't any of his business. I left a month later." dring157
Cats are holes too
“They collectively have like 6 or 7 cats which all treat my bird feeder and bath and my garden as their personal buffet. It's gotten to the point where they're so bold that if I run out there and try to chase them away, they just sit there looking at me going ‘yeah and what are you going to do to us?’ Because they know I can't lay a finger on them or I'm going to get hell from their owners.”
“I try to tell my neighbours to keep their cats indoors more often or at least put a bell on them but noooo there's no way mister fluffykins could possibly be killing all those birds and rooting through my poppies because he's so sweet and lazy and fat and wouldn't hurt a fly and I'm just a bastard who hates cats. Like no, mister fluffykins killed an entire family of bullfinches that were nesting nearby and left me to deal with their corpses and tore out my lemon balm he is not a sweet little cat he is an environmental pest.” Plethora_of_squids
Living in close proximity to others isn't always easy and takes cooperation from everyone. Unfortunately, that is not always how it works out. However, lucky for our entertainment, plenty of people were willing to share their crazy stories.
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You're familiar with at least one of these scenarios – the loud music at late hours of the night, the frequent parties where guests spill out over onto your lawn or driveway, or the upstairs neighbor who refuses to lay down carpet on their hardwood floors and subject you to their stomping around the apartment.
Don't you want to take action but one without legal consequences?
Curious to hear of stealth tactics, Redditor JazzmanRob asked:
"What is the best LEGAL way to annoy your neighbors you can think of?"
The following tactics proved there is an art to annoyance.
Offensive Odors
"My previous neighbour was the biggest jacka** I've ever lived next to. I got passive revenge one day by deciding to fertilize my yard with that stinky fishy liquid formula when I noticed he was having all his mates over for a barbecue."
Planting The Seeds
"If their driveway is close to your property line and your driveway is on the exact opposite side, plant a whole bunch of trees off of these lists:"
"Plant these near their driveway and their cars will be covered in birdsh!t no matter what they do unless they go into the garage."
"Now, for posterity, why do you want to annoy your neighbor?"
– VeeAndro
Changing The Landscape
"Purposefully plant clover. Lower maintenance than a grass lawn but still green and beautiful. Flowers are also gorgeous and great for pollinators. Spreads like crazy though so all the lawn obsessed will hate it."
Creating Boundaries
"If you share a property line with grass, wait till they mow their lawn and then mow yours and leave the tiniest strip of uncut grass between your yards."
Fake Domestic Disputes
"Scream at each other all hours of the day, apparently."
"When the cops are called, act lovey dovey like everyone in the world is exaggerating you threatening to murder each other."
"Sure people can call the cops but there's not actually anything they're gonna do in that situation."
"if your throat gets sore from all the yelling, apparently crack is a great cure for that."
"Source : my neighbors"
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Hoop Stays
"I live in a neighborhood with an HOA, so my options were limited in terms of what I could get away with - but I was going to get my revenge."
"They told me that I had to take in my basketball hoop nightly, even though several neighbors had been keeping them outside for over a decade. New board members decided they were going to be more strict on enforcement."
"It turns out, an HOA can't legally stop you from having a clothesline outside to dry your clothes. I decided to replace my basketball hoop with one clothesline, then another, and kept adding them until I had enough clotheslines to cover my entire 1/2 acre lot, some were 2 levels high, some were 3 levels high. I just kept adding, and adding, and they kept sending violation notice, after violation notice."
"I hung all my old t-shirts that I use as rags, old towels, moving blankets, you name it. And yes, I started in the front yard."
"When they finally contacted their attorney, he gave them the bad news. They couldn't legally force me to remove the clotheslines, and they couldn't fine me for it either."
"I had them revoke all my previous fines, and amend the rules to allow my basketball hoop to stay up."
"The HOA president lives directly across the street. She's not a fan."
Lots Of Keys
"I wish I could take credit for this one, but I found it elsewhere on the internet."
"Have a neighbor you just hate and want to get them while remaining completely anonymous? Buy a lot of old keys ($10-20). Then buy a bunch of cheap key tags. Write on the tag things like 'House Key' with their phone number on the tags. Leave these tagged keys all over the place. At stores. On hiking trails. Sidewalk. Whatever you can think of, just vary all the places."
"Now they will get calls from random strangers saying they found their keys all the time. Your strategic placement could mean they get 5 calls tomorrow or 1 call a year from now. Your level of commitment is their level of insanity getting contacted about lost keys."
"It will cost ya a little bit of money, but is legal and petty level 9000."
That's Gotta Sting
"Bee hives. Perfectly legal where I live, have had them for over 10 years. They are no bother to anyone and most of my neighbours love them (good for their gardens and free honey). Neighbour who moved in 5 years ago has a problem with them apparently. She has called the council and police too many times to count, and they say they same thing, it's legal, they're not annoying anyone and the bees where there first. She tried to take matters into her own hands whilst drunk/high jumped the fence in the middle of the night with a can of flyspray. Was very dark so she accidently jumped into my neighbours yard instead.
They're very large guard dogs bailed her up, she pretty much destroyed their gardens, boat, shed and smashed windows in their car trying to get away from them. When the police arrived she drunkenly admitted that she had tried to poison my bees but got the wrong yard. She tried to sue me, "if I wasn't trying to poison her bees none of this would have happened". Cops and lawyer laughed at her. Cops threw the book at her and my neighbours are suing her for all the damage (plus restraining order). She is now beyond broke. The bees are still there. When I hand out free honey around the neighbourhood every few months I always make sure she is around watching me and then intentionally don't Give her any. Other neighbours tell me they regularly mention my bees around her just to see her loose her sh*t."
Good Golly, Miss Molly
"My neighbor had a super annoying son and his friends were constantly running over into our yard and breaking stuff. We got a dog named Molly. Everytime she had to poop I'd put her on a leash and walk over to the property line so she could drop off some landmines for the kid. They were always on my property so the neighbors couldn't complain about my dog pooping in their yard."
"Finally, the bratty kid had his bratty friends over for a bratty birthday party and his parents sent them all outside to play and of course they were running over into our yard. Got 3 or 4 of the little kids. After that they never came into our yard again. Molly got belly rubs and a hamburger that night."
– rhett342
Start A Picnic
"Freeze lemonade into ice cubes, then throw them onto your neighbors porch, let them melt. The lemonade will get sticky and caked onto the porch, lemonade is sweet and sticky, what do sweet and sticky things attract? ANTS, and lots of them, the ice cubes will not be noticeable when the melt, so it will be hard to prove that someone is deliberately doing it, as long as you don't get caught throwing the cubes, you are all good, and if u want to add insult to injury you can buy ants and let them go in their yard."
"You're Welcome OP."
Seeing The Light
"Security lights. The brighter the better. If you're not blinding your neighbors with the force of 1000 suns, you're doing it wrong."
Loudness, no matter if it's music or sounds of slamming doors and loud footsteps, are classic offenders.
Upstairs, Downstairs Conflict
"Our upstairs neighbors when I was in middle school made a ton of noise every night around 9pm-- moving furniture, arguing at top volume, slamming doors, etc. So my mom always had me practice my tuba under noisy neighbor's bedroom before school in the morning."
"Our downstairs neighbors made a ton of tuba noise every morning before school-- scales, happy birthday, breath exercises, etc. So I always moved furniture, argued at top volume, slammed doors every night around 9pm."
Throw A Concert
"Pick up a new musical hobby! Tuba, recorder, bagpipes, accordion, etc. Just make sure to leave all the windows open so they can also track your progress!"
Sounds Annoying
"Our neighbour has a drum set in a 1 bedroom apartment. I very much support people who don't let their circumstances stand in the way of their dreams. I just wish he had a better, less loud dream."
"Set up a microphone that will collect those drumbeats and then transmit them back with a 1/2 second delay."
Loud Pet
"If you can handle the responsibility and the noise, get a cockatiel. They're really fun companions, but they whistle so loud you can hear it from 3 blocks away."
The next time you're cranking up the volume watching a Marvel movie or any other blockbuster that has a symphony of explosions, just remember you and your household may not be the sole audience members.
It's good to be mindful of your neighbors if you're planning to stick around in the area.
And in case you get a barrage of phone calls indicating someone found your lost "HOUSE KEYS" you never misplaced, you'll know why.
Because courtesy is the key to peaceful living.
That must be so loud.
My neighbors living room wall is also the wall to my bedroom. Their TV and speakers are against this wall.
They listen to a lot of Hinder, Buckcherry, 3 Doors Down, and country music. Their dog barks, constantly at any hallway noises. I work from 4pm-12am so I'm constantly being woken up by "Lips of an Angel" many hours before I'm ready.
A screamer?
GiphyMy previous next door neighbor and her bf were constantly banging. Like constantly. The guy must have had the greatest stamina in existence and the girl was a screamer.
Should have started cheering them on and making moaning sounds. They would have either got embarrassed and stopped or invited you over, either way it's a win.
But why?
My neighbors have a dog (not the problem) and about once a month they chop up an entire sheep head and feed it to their pug. This takes about 6 hours and they constantly scream at each other.
About a day later we find pieces of a sheep skull in our back yard, which were carried there by birds.
Meditative rhythmic dancing...
My upstairs neighbours are perfectly awful upstairs neighbours. Though they're nice, they're (unintentionally) loud as hell and are really f*cking weird.
Most days, for literally 6 hours at a time, it sounds like they are stomping in circles. As a grad student who is at home a lot working, this drove me crazy because it shakes the walls and I couldn't fathom what the hell they were doing for that long. It made no sense until I recently Facebook creeped one of them and found out she did rhythmic meditative dancing??? Sweet.
The guy works at 5 am, and he stomps around up there from the hours of 3am - 5am.
1am - 3am is their designated sex time, and their bedroom is above mine.
They also have a dog that barks all day when they aren't home. I assume the one that does rhythmic dancing for a living is home a lot, so thankfully this doesn't happen that often. I kept track last weekend, that dog barked nonstop from 9am - 6pm when their friend came to feed it. After their friend left, it kept barking until 10pm.
I wish I was joking. I'd leave but the rent is so cheap.
That last sentence, though.
GiphyWe live in a small neighborhood of only 10 houses. Everyone has 1-3 acres, so it's not like we're super-close. There's an elderly neighbor named Chuck who lives at the end of the street, in the cul-de-sac. He's the typical rich, retired a**hole who constantly calls the police. Our neighbors were having a graduation party for their son who was going to medical school. These neighbors are the kindest people you'd ever meet (they plow all our driveways when it snows).
Our neighbors invite everyone on the street to the graduation party. They inform all of us that some guests will have to park on the street but they will be respectful. They even invite Chuck.
Of course Chuck doesn't show up to the party, but he does call the police because there's cars parked legally on the street in front of his mansion.
He got in a fight with another neighbor because he said their tiny mailbox blocked the view of his 7,000 sf mansion. The way the street is laid out, that's the only place you can put the mailbox. And of course he called the police about this too.
He's been struck by lightening twice, I'm hoping the 3rd time will be more productive.
Not gonna happen.
They are from the city. They do not "get" the country.
They called in a "noise complaint" because my roosters were crowing at sunrise. What kind of a dandified f*ck calls in a noise complaint about roosters -- in the countryside???
It's like complaining to the mayor of NYC to stop the car noises.
WTF?
One is a born again Christian, way too interested in what people are doing, and acts too forced-friendly. They all gossip. One goes through my trash.
Put cat or dog poop in your trash. No animals? Poop in your own trash.
They sound pretentious.
GiphyMy neighbors are snobs. To the point it borders on comedy. They've hosted an MSNBC commentator a couple of times for dinner, and I've never heard the end of it. It's like living next to Hyacinth Bucket.
She knows.
My neighbor directly across the street from me is a single woman who lives alone. She doesn't have blinds or curtains and at night she walks around her house fully naked. I know she knows everyone can see her.
Noise complaints get thrown around a lot these days.
Nothing really, my neighbors don't really talk to me and that's how I like it.
Though the first weekend I moved in and had my housewarming party they tried to call the cops on a noise complaint. The cops didn't give a sh*t because A) we weren't being loud and B) it was like 8pm, way before noise complaints can actually be processed or what have you. The cop just said he was checking to make sure everything was fine and he left after like five minutes and said once it's past midnight we should try to keep it down.
Our neighbors stared out us through the windows the hole night, when we were on our porch. Every time I looked over, I'd see the curtains quickly close.
Luckily it hasn't been an issue since.
Sounds like a them problem.
Giphy2 of my neighbours in 2015 started to assume each other were stealing each other's sh*t, so they both installed their own camera to face the storeroom that they share. It's still going on, I hate it. I would hear arguments here and there.
Weird flex, but ok.
Most are retired and have all the time in the world to make their lawns and sidewalks look great. I don't get far behind because of the peer pressure but I'm usually the last one to mow or shovel or whatever.
What a-holes.
Their dog mauled and and injured our brand new puppy. They haven't even bothered to say sorry. Oh also their house is infested with rats that somehow got into our house and one crawled on me in my sleep.
Big yike.
GiphyList of some previous neighbors:
Neighbors would try to watch us when we'd workout in our backyard.
Neighbors were creeps and pretty sure some of them were f**king each other in orgies.
Neighbors were sketchy, would do sketchy things.
That's frustrating.
On the most beautiful and pleasant of evenings in the spring, summer and fall, they're always outside having a bonfire until midnight or later. Makes it utterly impossible to ever have the windows open to enjoy the evenings.
I love a good bonfire but not every. Single. Night.
P.S. I really do like our neighbors, it's just that I wish they'd cut back on the bonfires that fill my house with smoke if I have my windows open.