Depression is more than feeling sad. Though it is a common mental health illness, many people with depression feel like they are misunderstood. It can be hard for someone to express themselves, and someone suffering from mental illness may even feel uncomfortable telling the people closest to them how they are truly feeling.
Depression sufferers shared what it was like to be misunderstood, when Redditor u/PuppieWayne asked, "People who are going through depression, what do you wish your friends and family understand about you?"
10. "I wish I could tell them..."
"I wish I could tell them without them changing how they treat me"
"Yeah. When I eventually told my dad that I had thinking about killing myself and I was scared I was actually going to do it for once he changed into a completely different person."
9. "They never expect him to pretend to feel happy..."
Giphy"I saw this on the internet forever ago and it's always stuck with me:
'One awesome thing about Eeyore's friends, is that even though Eeyore seems to be clinically depressed, he still gets invited to participate in adventures and shenanigans with all of his friends. And they never expect him to pretend to feel happy, they just love him anyway, and they never leave him behind or ask him to change.'"
8. "It's because of how I feel..."
"That I don't feel the way I do due to a poor sleep schedule, I have a poor sleep schedule because of how I feel"
7. "A sad, lonely, irritated person..."
"A simple 'hey, are you ok' goes a very long way with me."
"That moment when you've been depressed for so long people stopped asking you if you're okay because at this point you're always sad and angry. And you realize that to others the 'normal' you is a sad, lonely, irritated person. And that hurts you even more"
6. "When this happens PLEASE don't say..."
"Sometimes my mood just changes. One day I'll seem like I'm okay, in a good mood, but the next I may be unmotivated, mentally exhausted. when this happens PLEASE don't say 'but you were just fine yesterday why so you keep changing your mood?' i don't know"
5. "I'm not lazy..."
Giphy"I'm not lazy. I am literally unable to motivate myself to do anything. I have no goal or purpose but it's not that I'm not working towards one. I wish more than anything I could have one."
4. "There is always a disconnect..."
"I consider myself pretty decent with words, but no matter how many times I try and describe how I feel to someone, there is always a disconnect. My parents don't have the empathy bone for mental health problems, and my friends have their own issues that I don't wanna pile on."
3. "It's much deeper than that..."
"The anger that goes with it... sometimes I cannot explain why I am as angry as I am. I cannot explain why sometimes I get so angry I scream and yell over small things, when really it's much deeper than that. Most of the time I am just angry at myself."
2. "Understand my point of view..."
"Understand my point of view instead of looking at others. Understand why I'm always quiet and angry and irritable. I wish they knew I was feeling sad. My heart hurts"
"I wish they'd understand..."
"My family used to always make fun of me for not showering and wearing loose clothes.
I just wish they'd understand how difficult the smallest tasks were to me, and how hurtful some of the things they said were, not because what they said was brutal but because of how fragile I was at the time."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Redditor u/Energylegs23 created a safe place for people to discuss their depression, when they asked, "How does your depression manifest in ways that non-depressed people wouldn't expect or understand?"
10. Not being able to start something new
"I really want to work on a hobby project. I have everything I need to work on the project. I know working on the hobby project makes me happy and makes others happy too. Yet I cant start it. I cant get the motivation to do it despite it being all I want to do. So maybe I'll just play some video games instead... except for some reason I cant bring myself to launch a game, even if it will also make me happy. So i just sit and scroll through reddit. close it. re open it. scroll. close it. repeat. All the while i'm internally yelling at myself to do something. anything really. But some days I just cant."
9. Feeling intense anger
"A lot of folks expect depression to be sadness, a feeling of being numb etc but often, anger isn't considered part of the deal.
My friends pointed out that they were shocked that I was being treated for depression, until they realized I was never sad, I was smiling, joking, fun-seeking, but the smallest irritation had me so so angry. Not like, make-a-scene angry. Deep disgust."
8. Nothing that you enjoy is enjoyable
"Nothing is interesting. TV shows you used to like are just okay now, and you only watch them to pass the time instead of for enjoyment. Food doesn't taste like anything anymore. Work, if you enjoyed it, is now boring. Hobbies disappear. You're just there, surrounded by a massive expanse of indifference with no discernible boundaries."
7. It feels like a river
Giphy"I feel an almost physical pull at the center of my chest/body. It feels like a river pulling at me, tugging at that center and trying to drag me down the river. I feel a perceptible tugging sensation and the feeling of dark water rushing past. Usually only when it's really bad. If you've read the Abhorsen trilogy by Garth Nix, it reminds me of how the river of death is described."
6. Becoming forgetful
"I forget appointments, household chores, whether I've already told someone something a minute ago, class homework, where I just put my keys... I can muster up enough energy to focus on a few important tasks, but it's like my brain can't hold on to most things and they just get kind of dropped somewhere. The worst thing is that people see me as being flakey and lazy, and I hate it..."
5. Intrusive thoughts
"I am able to act and be completely Fine around people but It hits me when random thoughts get into my head when I'm alone. So if they ever found out that this has been happening to me, I don't think they can believe it very easily since infront of them, I'm this whole other person."
4. Developing a fear of leaving your house
"Moderate to severe agoraphobia."
"It's the worst feeling ever when you really want to go out to get some fresh air or just to take a walk or to go from one place to another on your own and you're just too scared to even leave the house alone or without someone who can protect you or make you comfortable"
3. Taking a lot of naps
Giphy"Depression naps are addictive. I go to sleep the second I come home because I don't wanna deal with the emotions of being awake. I'm asleep from 3pm-10:30pm almost every day. When I wake up, I eat a bunch of food, take a shower, and be back asleep by 12am. My family asks why I sleep so much. I just make a joke about being a "typical lazy teen" most of the time and hope they change the subject."
2. Emotional Eating
"Eating. I eat my feelings away. And sometimes it's the first sign that I'm about to go through a bout of depression, I get strong cravings before it hits."
1. Sometimes you just have to ride the wave
"Sometimes theres just no reason. The emptiness shows up unannounced and doesnt go away. Theres no specific reason and nothing will cheer me up. I just gotta ride the wave until it's over."
"There is this "work" culture these days of success being directly proportional to the effort you put in, so if you're not doing well it's because you're lazy. If you're not visibly flogging yourself to death you're freewheeling.
But with depression sometimes you're flogging yourself to death just to manage to keep yourself alive. Sometimes the most you can do is wait for it to pass, like waiting for a cold to clear."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
