Living with depression is incredibly difficult.
It's made all the more difficult when people share unsolicited advice.
This isn't to say that others don't mean well–they often do–but they may sometimes lack the foresight or tact required for conversations about mental illness.
It's a lot easier to play armchair psychologist than actually learn a thing or two about what life is like for depression sufferers.
That's why a lot of people prefer to live with the disease silently; they'd rather not hear other people's callous remarks and prefer to be spared their judgment.
We heard about bad advice in action after Redditor nekrozis666 asked the online community:
"People who suffer from depression, what was the worse advice you've gotten?"
"Just stop..."
"Just stop thinking negatively. Just be happy. Just get some exercise. Just eat healthier. I am so sick of the 'just do this' advice. Like yeah, those things MIGHT help, but all of them are impossible when I'm struggling to even change my clothes, take a shower, cook actual meals, or clean my house everyday."
MissAnthropy612
Oh, if only it were that easy!
How the hell can you get anything done when it's a hassle to even get out of bed in the mornings?
"It's kind of the thing..."
"'Do things you like.'"
"It's kind of the thing....you can do them but you don't like doing them anymore. You're emotionally flat and exhausted and frankly it's even worse to go through the motions of a thing you used to love."
Kay_Elle
Losing pleasure in things you enjoy is so frustrating.
You can't just "do things you like" when none of it brings you any joy and feels more like an imposition.
"Thanks..."
"'Think about people who have it worse.' Thanks, now I'm depressed and feeling guilty about it."
ipakoopapi
Your feelings are always valid no matter how many idiots you're surrounded by.
"Ditch your meds..."
"Ditch your meds and do acid a few times, it'll fix everything."
Bagospearen
Psychedelics can be massively helpful in the right setting at the right time, but a bad trip can equally be so traumatizing it leaves you recovering for months.
They're a catalyst for introspection and change, not a cure on their own.
"My dad told me..."
"My dad told me to have kids, which makes me wonder about him."
illmade
Perhaps it simply means he became a happier man after having you—but this is an excellent example of advice that should not be "one size fits all."
"Why, that's brilliant."
"'You should try to be more positive!'"
"Why, that's brilliant. I had never considered the idea that I could just be more positive and poof, everything would be better. But this advice did get me to realize that I am responsible for my own wellbeing. I can ask for help but ultimately, it's on me to work on my issues."
iamalext
Good to hear that this advice served as a catalyst to that realization—as bad as that advice was.
"Gee, thanks!"
"'At least you're not in a 3rd world country.' Gee, thanks! Can I go take my antidepressants now?"
ok_ad748s_alt
It really says a lot about someone when they bring up less developed countries to make their careless points.
"I was told..."
"I was told to pray the depression away by my therapist."
Significant_Venison
Sounds like you need a new therapist.
Immediately.
"The worst advice..."
"The worst advice was: If you have time for depression, you have nothing to do. Get more work, clean your house; in our youth we worked 6 days a week and helped our parents on weekends."
SignalAds610
While there are certainly people out there who do well on comparatively full schedules, this doesn't hold true for a lot of people out there—and still does nothing to address the root cause of depression.
"My dad told me..."
"My dad told me if I prayed, God would take it away along with my lupus and other crippling health issues."
htkpe
Yeah, dad... it doesn't work that way.
But nice try, though?
Not.
As you can see, none of these pieces of advice actually help anyone.
Think before you speak—especially if you're not a trained professional.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Cardi B recently posted a tweet about the unhealthy relationship we have with technology.
She encouraged teens to put down their phones and make some memories in real life.
Her tweet describes her younger years, and urges her fans to "live Life!"
"I was a lit ass teenager!I had maaa fun in school ,I used to go to hookie parties ,teen bashes,shop in soho for hours..These new teenagers is getting lame they too focus on the internet.Live life! couple years from now you should have memories bout yourself not a celeb."
I was a lit ass teenager!I had maaa fun in school ,I used to go to hookie parties ,teen bashes,shop in soho for hou… https://t.co/83gdPkYopg— Cardi B (@Cardi B) 1552589987
One fan, @demiftcardi, replied to her tweet pointing out that it's not always easy to put your phone down and focus on real life:
"Some of us have depression Cardi 😔"
@iamcardib Some of us have depression Cardi 😔— 🌙 (@🌙) 1552590017
After seeing @demiftcardi's reply, Cardi offered some advice:
"A lot have depression cause ya be on the internet lookin at people with these fake perfect lifes, perfect body,perfect relationships.Depression is hard to shake off spend time with friends,close1 or with yourself do boards wit pictures of the things you dream make them your hobby."
A lot have depression cause ya be on the internet lookin at people with these fake perfect lifes, perfect body,perf… https://t.co/GqdpIj55EL— Cardi B (@Cardi B) 1552590671
Cardi's fans adore her frank honesty as much as her music.
@iamcardib we love a queen helping us with our mental health— jes ✨ (@jes ✨) 1552590785
@iamcardib Yaaaas tell them Cardi— Mutheu Winnie (@Mutheu Winnie) 1552590102
@iamcardib "Couple years from now you should have memories bout yourself not a celeb" 😩😭 Thank you...— South African Film and TV (@South African Film and TV) 1552594167
Many agreed with Cardi's advice.
@iamcardib Thanks for the advice! More people need to hear this so thanks for using your platform to get the message out 🙏🏼💕— Lincitas ♡ (@Lincitas ♡) 1552590736
@iamcardib Same here!! My teenage years were amazing. My high school days were LIT 🔥 I met some amazing people and… https://t.co/NjxFN0W3Py— Obeyy_Vivian🇬🇭🇬🇭 (@Obeyy_Vivian🇬🇭🇬🇭) 1552590623
@iamcardib So true. I was just talking about this yesterday. Its a different world today. Put your phone down and g… https://t.co/WTc9zI3Pkr— 🌸Julie🌸 (@🌸Julie🌸) 1552590354
Several others brought up good points.
@iamcardib i literally ask all my friends if they wanna go out to party & they come up with excuses 🙄 i just wanna have funnnnn— ajani☽ (@ajani☽) 1552590395
@iamcardib Sometimes you can’t shake off depression. You have to seek help. See a professional if you feel depresse… https://t.co/OY7M3ge0bT— G B (@G B) 1552590835
In the end, there isn't one single cure-all for depression, or the loneliness that we sometimes feel. Getting out and spending time with people who care about you is definitely a good place to start, though.