The laundry list is long. I for one truly believe no man could ever handle birth. If men had to give birth, there would be none. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Observe...
Around the World...
flying klm royal dutch airlines GIF by KLMGiphyTraveling alone. Takes some guts to travel alone as a girl especially in not so developed countries. Women need to be careful and look out for things that we men almost never take even in consideration.
Hours of Pain
The risk of dying when having children. Yes I know men can't have children but hear me out. I work in a maternity theatre and see hundreds of births every year. It amazes me the amount of crap and pain and risk that women have to go through to have kids. Seriously, my respect for women has no bounds. I see what they go through during childbirth and I think I could never do that. By the time they get to the emergency theatre they've usually already been struggling to progress for various reasons for HOURS!!.
They arrive tired, scared, upset, worried, bleeding, in extreme pain and feeling a million emotions in between. Add into that that things can take a turn for the worse very quickly and it is quite scary for the theatre staff as well. Ladies of Reddit, just know, if you come into the theatre when I'm on duty, I got your back. I don't think us men appreciate this quite as much as we should do.
Creepers
Creepy people following you. My girlfriend walked home from work sometimes. It wasn't far and it was in broad daylight. This guy drove by and asked to give her a ride. She declined said she was almost home. When she got home she told me about it and how he kept driving up and down the street looking at her afterwards.
He followed her into the apartment complex and parked his car to watch her go into the apartment. I was obviously upset. I went out with her so she could point him out but he had left. It was weird. I told her to call me right away if she sees him anywhere near here.
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A Deep Cut
My mother told me how my birth went down.
She hadn't dilated enough for me to actually get out all the way, so the doctors suggested breaking my shoulder to allow me through.
Upon hearing that my mother sneered at the doctor who suggested this and said:
"You don't touch my son, cut me open down there if need be but you don't touch my son"
And they sliced her open down there, and you know what the most messed up thing was? She told me she couldn't even feel them cutting her because she was already in so much pain. And this was her 4th time giving birth.
That's when I realized that mothers are just inherently badass in that regard.
After Effects
Shannyn Sossamon Cringe GIFGiphyUTIs. My wife will occasionally get a UTI after sex and has to suffer the discomfort and the irritation of trying to get a GP appointment (UK) whilst convincing the witch of a GP receptionist that you want an appointment today.
All the simple things men take for granted, like just being able to walk down a street. Take note gentlemen reading. If you're not agreeing here then maybe talk to the ladies in your life and read this thread together.
Later in Life
Menopause.
My grandma always jokes that it's 'only' men who go through the stereotypical Mid-life Crisis of randomly changing up their lives, buying cool things, acting differently (etc), because all of the women are too busy over-heating, being hormonal, and having to deal with annoying symptoms at that age to have the time or inclination to have a Crisis.
"Women already have a natural, biological Mid-life Crisis! We don't have time to buy sports cars."
Big Stuff
Large boobs seem like a curse to me (I wouldn't want to own them if I were a girl but they sure look cool). They can cause back problems and just look unwieldy and the only upside of them making you more attractive to many people is also a major downside when it comes to creeps/unwanted attention.
Now What?
Dealing with unwanted pregnancy.
My niece was 29 when she found out she was pregnant. She had been dating her boyfriend for over a year, but they weren't married. They're in a small town in Missouri. She did the good Christian thing and kept the baby. As soon as her boss found out she was pregnant out of wedlock, he fired her.
Of course, her boyfriend didn't get fired for getting a woman pregnant out of wedlock. And when I told my birthed that what her boss did was illegal, he said "Yeah well, we live in Missouri so good luck with that."
Just Pain
Periods.
I try to help men understand what it's like for us, and this is the best I've come up with:
Imagine you have the stomach flu. One of those bad ones with crippling stomach cramps and liquid ass. You're exhausted, you hurt, you generally don't feel good, and your nether regions feel disgustingly in need of a shower.
Now imagine this happens every month. You can't just take 3-7 days off every month at the last second. You have to go to work, pick up the kids, get dinner, etc. The world at large doesn't get that you're miserable, so you just get up and keep going.
Hormones can play a part, but tell me if you'd be a bit freaking cranky having to function on all of the above.
Getting Pretty
frozen game on GIF by Walt Disney StudiosGiphyNot for all women, but many take a lot of time to get ready because they feel it's required. Most men brush hair out of the shower and that's it.
She's Evil
Pressure to be a perfect parent. My partner would get approached by strangers at grocery stores and parking lots and criticized for random stuff she was "letting" our then-2 y.o. get away with it. When I was public with our child, it was pretty much "Oh look at the good dad!" for just being.
The wicked stepmom trope pretty much reinforces how the expectations are set at a huge bar for women, while deadbeat dads make it a shrugging "oh well, that sucks but what are you gonna do" bar for men.
Grow Up
Training.
When I began in the military everyone including all the girls were in far better physical condition than I was.
2 Months in I was bringing in a better performance than all but one girl. The difference in muscle growth, etc. is simply at a level where women are never able to keep up with men who put even half the effort in of them.
Gotta Go
pee dancing GIFGiphyPeeing outside.
Or just peeing in general b/c we don't gotta sit down whenever we need to pee.
Gross
Public restrooms always seem have more of a line than men's rooms. Plus, y'all get to sit down on every nasty public toilet you have to use. That sucks.
This one time at a punk show, I asked where the restroom was. The gentleman pointed to the alleyway outside the venue. I thought "Gross, but punk show. Can't exactly complain."
So, I release the kraken. When this punk girl strolls up next to me, gives me a "sup" nod, whips out a plastic penis contraption, and puts my measly little stream to shame.
I learned two things: Women drew the short straw on restrooms. And punk girls are a different breed.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?
Birth control. My girlfriend is on an implant and it makes her period Hella irregular and so she can bleed intermittently with no warning so she'll just go to the toilet one day and be bleeding. No prediction of when it will happen. Just "hey you're bleeding now. How long for? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?".
JUST so we don't have kids we're not ready for. I'm happy to wear a condom but it's not as safe as using something like the implant or a IUD in terms of family planning. She had to get that crap inserted into her arm with general anaesthetic like a baddie. And one type of birth control doesn't work for everyone. I've heard my friends talking about how they have to take the pill at the same time every day.
I can't even remember to have breakfast most days. I've heard you can get injections that last 3 months and can mess with your mood even on anti depressants. And some women I know will be on birth control because their boyfriend wants it raw. The lengths they go through is ridiculous.
You Hear Me?
Getting catcalled.
Specifically, I'm a guy that got catcalled A LOT in high school and college. I ran distance in tiny short shorts and that's it, and got everything from whistles to honks, girls blowing kisses to guys yelling out of their car windows, to gay guys slapping my butt or complimenting me.
I took it in stride, none if it ever bothered me, and that kind of colored my opinion of catcalling - not that I approved of it, but that it wasn't that big a deal.
Then I had a girlfriend in college, and she got catcalled while I was walking her home at night. It was a DISTINCTLY different experience. Turns out I never once felt threatened by my catcallers, but hers were definitely scary and threatening.
It was a completely different experience, and really crappy and frightening.
Feeding
My wife actually told me today, that breastfeeding has been more painful than the childbirth of our daughter.
I thought it was interesting because I have never heard that before.
Apparently baby tongues are like sandpaper. It can take weeks for the nipple doin' to thicken so it doesn't hurt.
Was news to me after I'd already became pregnant.
Also, some women are constantly nauseous their entire pregnancies. HG being the extreme worst of it. I was one of the lucky few. Was like a nine month stomach flu with a number of good days I could count on my hand.
Hey Baby...
Child birth.
This is funny but my husband injured his back pretty bad a couple of weeks before I was due. It was pretty bad and because of covid he couldn't get a physio appointment quickly.
Labor is fine to start with. I need occasional assistance from him, but it's going smoothly.
Then my waters break. Hooooly crap, the labor went pretty bad that moment on. I wanted to stay vertical to guide the baby out, but could only do that if my husband crouched on the floor with me and rubbed my back. He did that for three hours (the contractions were every minute), but he couldn't keep it going. The nurses told him to please go rest up.
Well ultimately sh!t went bad, the baby was very tangled up in the umbilical cord and wasn't descending, so they had to cut me up... But we say we went through back labor together.
Get it Guys?
Full House Ok GIFGiphyI'm a guy and I was working at an ice cream and candy shop, and this older man comes in and orders some popcorn.
As I'm scooping it into the container he looks at me and says "Oh yeah, just pack it in. I like it when they pack it in real tight." In an obviously sexual way. It made me uncomfortable and I bring it up talking to my coworkers and one of the girls who was much younger says "Yeah welcome to pretty much every day of my life."
A Hairy Situation
Damn so many good ones have been said already. A relatively minor thing that I haven't seen yet is hair. Body hair of any kind is often something women are expected to minimize/remove completely. Also, long hair is a b!tch to take care of and manage, as I've come to realize by letting my hair grow past my shoulders during the pandemic.
Edit: Come on people, I know that many guys shave and groom too. My point is a guy can let hair grow out anywhere on their body and not have to realistically worry about being perceived as gross or weird for it. Also, yes guys can have long hair and women can have short hair, but it's common knowledge that there's a very strong tendency for the opposite to be true.
My hat is off to you ladies. Life is a minefield for everyone but it's imperative to acknowledge when you have a less dicey route through the debris of it all, while others struggle is far heavy load to bear.
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