These Are The Adult Equivalent Of Finding Out Santa Isn't Real
Reddit user Just_Surround_2108 asked: 'What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?'
When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.
But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.
And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.
Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:
"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.
Caveat Emptor
"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."
– throwmeawaypoopy
"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"
– MrsMalvora
"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"
– opheliainwaders
Value Of Friendships
"That some friends were never really your friend."
– Kangaroowrangler_02
"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."
– ScienceUnicorn
"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."
"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"
– VoxClarus
"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."
– tomdelfino
"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."
– immorjoe
The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?
Who's Parenting Who
"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."
– Smile_Terrible
"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
About Grieving
"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."
– i_spock
Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In
"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."
– HaloTightens
"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."
– deathschemist
We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.
Aimlessness
"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."
– Borsti17
"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."
– BeautifulMidnight-
Misconception Behind Work Integrity
"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."
– DorianOrosco
And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
We Are Our Parents
"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."
– tamammothchuk
"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."
– daggerxdarling
Living On Borrowed Time
"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."
"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."
"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."
"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."
"But the meter is running."
– Boudyro
I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.
When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.
As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.
People Break Down Which Things They Were Told They'd Grow Out Of But Never Did
Reddit user LeRuseRenard asked: 'What's something you were told you would grow out of but never did?'
As we get older, our tastes in a variety of things change as we are exposed to new things.
But sometimes, nostalgia brings us back to appreciating what we once let go.
For instance in terms of fashion, what we initially thought made us look cool and flashy may no longer serve us in our wisened years.
The retro appeal of, say, stone-washed jeans, may be trending and inspire us to reclaim the look.
But there are other things in life besides trends that also stick with us whether we like it or not, and those stubborn instances is a huge bummer.
Curious to hear more examples of things people really haven't moved on from, Redditor LeRuseRenard asked:
"What's something you were told you would grow out of but never did?"
Let's get physical.
Facial Attack
"Acne."
– blewis222
"Had a guy at the office that was late-60s with acne. I asked him about it when we got closer. I hit him with all the typical sh*t; do you use a face cleanser, moisturizer, shower regularly, change your sheets/pillowcases. He said he used to do that and realized that it never goes away except for when he's stress free. I just said 'ahhhh, f'k.' Then I got out of the Air Force and holy d*ck balls, he was right. Low/no stress is such clear skin that I now use acne as my gauge for stepping back from work and that it's time for a vacation."
– UHaveASh*tTake
Growth Sputter
"Being short."
– EVEREADY_HARTON1927
"I'm a guy who topped out at 5' 5.5" (that point five was important to me for some reason). Now that I'm into my 7th decade, life and gravity seem to have beaten me down to 5'4". Maybe 5'4.5" on a good day with a full moon providing slight relief from gravity."
– Draano
Delayed Diagnosis
"At 15, I was told the pain in my joints was from 'growing pains' when X-rays didn't show anything - nope, I had already stopped growing taller at 10, and the pain was a genetic soft tissue disorder that took until my mid-20s to properly diagnose and manage."
– GreenePony
Just because we enjoyed these as kids doesn't mean they stayed in our toy boxes.
80s Vibe
"Video games and metal music."
– Bobisburnsred
I’m a toddler mom. We jammed out to Sabaton and Delain driving home from Kid Activity yesterday."
– UnihornWhale
Once A Gamer...
"I game more than my kids. I'm a mom, mid 50's with no plan to stop. It's been a great year with Jedi Survivor and Zelda. I'm looking forward to the new Spider-Man one too."
– wylietrix
Forever Anime
"Cartoons."
– _eviehalboro
"Cartoons have somehow been always associated to children by some people. Which has lead to some really funny situations, such as seeing parents with their no more than 10 year old children going to the movies to watch... South Park. Boy, did they leave fast..."
– ThreepwoodGuybrush80
Escapism Literature
"Fantasy novels. Some of them are written for adults."
– TheBookMonkey
"Came here to see if anyone mentioned this. If you love them–you love them for life! My frustration is that 'adult' usually means twenty-something, occasionally 30. I’m 50…and there just aren’t a lot of lead characters to relate to anymore."
– Gottagettagoat
There are inclinations and behavioral traits that don't just disappear with age as these Redditors have discovered.
Deeper Than Shyness
"My aversion to most social events."
– _fancypansy
"Yeah. Somehow, even as a kid, I knew that puberty wasn't going to make me enjoy these events more."
– OP
"Social anxiety, it only got worse."
– prawie_seler
Stigma Of Being An Introvert
"The best thing about 'growing up' is realizing that some people, lots of people, don't do well at big social events and there's nothing wrong with that."
"It's okay to not go, or to say hello and leave after 1/2 hour. Forcing yourself to stay for hours because others are having fun and you don't want to leave early is pointless. Let them have fun. Say goodbye to the host, or better yet, tell then beforehand that you'll be leaving early. I used to stay hours longer than I wanted to because I didn't know about the Irish Exit."
"And btw, don't try to explain it to someone who doesn't get it. If they're pushy about it, ask for respect and don't defend yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. Or me."
"Now figuring out how to decline a damn wedding invite. Ugh"
– eekamuse
It's Not Just For Kids
"My parents literally think I’ve outgrown ADHD because 'adults can’t have it' 💀"
– Personal_plankton_35
"Oh damn. When really ur just coping and constantly on the cusp of things falling apart."
– Terrynia
What Are U Waiting 4?
"procrastination."
– extraboldscowsj28
"Does anyone really outgrow procrastination? You can conquer it with a lot of work and effort but you don't naturally outgrow it."
– OP
My love for Disney as a kid was never a phase.
My passion for the classic Disney animated films and Disneyland took root when I was 2. Since then, I've worked for the company in various roles from theme parks to Broadway, further cementing my appreciation for that Disney magic.
You might say I have the Peter Pan syndrome and never grew up.
Being an extrovert/closeted introvert at a young age, going to Disneyland was my escape from reality and where I really came to life.
That feeling is just something you can never grow out of, nurturing that notion of being young at heart.
So you can imagine my anguish when I discovered my mom threw out my vintage Disney records when I was in middle school thinking I'd outgrow them.
That was painful.
We all had our aspirations about becoming a certain type of person or accomplishing different goals when looking towards the future.
But the goals we have for ourselves can drastically change once we're adults, and that's partly due to the influence of different life experiences.
Sometimes, despite our best intentions and respective strategies to achieve something by a certain age, we can never imagine experiencing different outcomes.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
– Mrbusybaconandeggs
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
– Rook1872
Age-Defying
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
– Downtown_Skill
Sad Epiphany
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
– thecanadiancowboy
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
– NoinePiecesOfVinyl
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
Wake-Up Call
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
– IcarusWax
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
– JimmyJackJericho
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
–= xepci0
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
– snapwillow
Being Independent
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
– CliffExcellent123
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
– lllSnowmanlll
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
– WitherWithout
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
– civilwarcorpses
Marking Time
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
– Suitable_Mistake2208
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.
Given enough time, we all change as we get older.
But sometimes the ways we change can surprise us, including things we no longer like or which now annoy us.
Redditor HumanlyCapable asked:
"What are you starting to dislike more as you get older?"
It's Hard Out Here
"For me, I'm 47, it was coming to accept and understand that life is really f**king difficult. It's difficult for everyone."
"We do what we do, say what we say, and think what we think as a way of coping with and navigating those difficulties. Some are better at it than others, and we all consistently slip up and fail."
"Given this, really internalizing how much I struggle myself, moves me towards compassion for others going through the same. The fact that other people are here means that they are still trying. I'm not going to beat them down for that, and maybe I can find ways to help them do better. I love people because we're going through the same things and we need each other for support, even a**hole strangers, and Becky."
- Oliver_DeNom
Better Late Than Never
"I’m in my 70s and it’s the best time of my life. Almost everything I used to dislike, I can easily avoid now."
- Gorf_the_Magnificent
Faith in Humanity
"In my thirties, there was an epiphany when I realized how many people are traumatized before 18. And it doesn't even have to be anything in particular. Just the whole childhood is bad."
"And this seems to be fairly common for lower socioeconomic groups. They're traumatized, made stupid not just ignorant, and with no value for trust or reputation."
"It's difficult to hate criminals and a**holes for who they are when I know they're hurt. I'm not saying it excuses the behavior, but there's so much cruel nuance there."
- BitterLeif
Age Brackets
"Realizing I'm the oldest person in a group."
- bundlebundle
"I'm 29 and work in construction. About a year ago, I started to notice, 'Hey, there's one or two people here younger than me.' I recognized right then that that realization was going to occur more and more often."
"I still feel like a kid, and have no plans of changing that, but I can see that my 'young' years are almost over."
- stfleming1
Time Perspective
"The 80s will forever be 20 years ago."
- ListenItWillIHear
"I felt shocked when I realized you could be born after 2000 and be old enough to buy alcohol."
- Universeintheflesh
Truly Unsettling
"I was in healthcare a long time, and saw more and more patients die with birthdates in the 1940s and '50s, thinking, 'Oh, d**n, that's so young.'"
"Nope, that's my parent's age, and those people are in their 70s and 80s. They die from falling, or from other minor accidents. It's a hard thing to adjust to."
- DwarfDrugar
Retirement Status
"I’m 62 and retired, and my wife and I are living comfortably on my retirement pension. Once you are guaranteed that check, I say you’ve reached the 'f**k you' status in your life. You no longer have to put up with bulls**t demands from an employer. If you don’t like a certain situation, usually you are in a position to just say fuck this and walk away."
- wyoflyboy68
Ads and Paywalls
"Everything slowly 'evolving' into a subscription service. Even heated seats are getting those, for f**k's sake."
- AchyBrakeyHeart
"My wife thinks I'm nuts because I'm transitioning back to physical media. Keeps insisting that everything I want to watch is on streaming and then gets surprised when it isn't or was and they took it off."
- thugloofio
"My wife wanted me to get rid of all my DVDs and Blu Rays. I have some obscure s**t in that collection along with a ton of stuff you can find anywhere. But I compromised and moved them all to a massive but cheap Amazon essentials case."
"I needed a few extra cases too, but no way am I losing those. Like another person said, soon enough some of them will only be available behind a paywall or with ads every 10 minutes. Hard pass."
- afoz345
The Dating Scene
"Dating. When I was 20, it was fun. Take 10 minutes to get ready and have a good time. Now that I’m older, it’s a whole ordeal and feels more like a job interview."
- RedditorChristopher
Aging Parents
"That my parents are also getting older and the fear of losing them soon terrifies me."
- Maso_TGN
"I’ve lost one. It sucks. It’s one of those events that rocks the foundations of your life."
"BUT…"
"I accidentally had a conversation with my father after he had to have urgent surgery they had some scary moments. I wasn’t able to be with him but talked to him about my feelings and wondering if I was going to lose him."
"He told me that he had a great life and he was proud of my brother and I. He told me when the time comes, to think kindly of him and keep on going."
"About a decade later he died. I was in a hotel room with him and he died in his sleep. It sucked, but that conversation I had with him a decade before about his own mortality really got me through it."
"Why am I telling you this? Sit down with your parents and have the hard conversation. Ask them what they want done with their body when they die. Discuss medical decisions and DNRs. Let them know you love them and you’re scared. When the time comes, you’ll be glad you had that talk."
- slider728
Lack of Motivation
"Myself but more specifically the lack of motivation to do things anymore. I find myself always exhausted and unfulfilled by just everything around me and I can't seem to do anything about it."
- FaultFinal5248
"I'm the same way. I hate that no matter how hard I try, I just can't bring myself to do the things that I need to do. I can't even do the things I enjoy doing."
- point50tracer
Cleaning Woes
"Dust, it just never goes away. Tips would be appreciated."
- Sinister-Kid
"My pro tip for dust is when I finish drying my dishes, I wipe over my kitchen with the wet towel. Top of the fridge, benches, etc. Walk towards the laundry to put the towel in the basket, wiping all surfaces on the way. It means I never actually have to 'dust' those areas when I'm dusting."
- working_class_tired
People Are Just Too Peopley
"People. Nobody knows what respect is."
"My one friend who repeatedly says they don’t care about people shows me more respect than almost anyone else. They don’t care about people and even they know how to not be unnecessarily rude and judgemental. I don't know why it’s so hard for most people."
- I_Am_My_Truth
"I can even look past the rudeness and judgy behavior because I honestly don't freaking care anymore. What really gets me is the lack of social awareness, like is it really cool to be up in someone's 'personal bubble,' should I maybe not block an entire supermarket aisle with my cart, maybe not everyone in my vicinity wants to know about my son's wife."
"Can we just run our errands and live our lives without inadvertently being intrusive or obstructive? I hate people. Respect has done died."
- Sinfullymad
Poor Priorities
"I know someone who died of pancreatic cancer at age 35."
"In the same week, I hear of drama from a separate group of people surrounding the f**king stupidest s**t (high school level of pettiness)."
"Someone just a few years older than us f**king died and the rest of us are having a fit about how Bethany didn't invite Melinda to a BBQ because she's a b***h."
"I couldn't express how astoundingly meaningless 99% of our problems seemed from that point on."
"I wasn't even that close to the person who passed away, but it was one of the rudest wake-up calls in my life. He had a lot of things he wanted to do. I think about it a lot."
- octoriceball
Former Pastimes
"Concerts. My feet hurt, the music is too loud, I've become very sensitive to the strobe light effects most of them use, the fees to buy tickets are outrageous plus parking... and frankly, I get bored. It could be the greatest show on earth and I still get bored after an hour or so."
- toomanycats21
As we age, we know that certain aspects of our lives are going to change, but we don't always think about how our perspectives and priorities might change as the time passes.
If this thread taught us anything, it's to prioritize the important things over the drama, and to make those time-sucking tasks as easy as possible, so we can spend more time on the things that matter.
Whether or not to bring children into the world is a very personal decision.
While there are many arguments as to why anyone should, or shouldn't have children, it's not a decision for other people to make for you.
Some people dream of being a parent since they were children themselves, and can't wait to shower their own children with love.
While others always dreamed of having children, but for one reason or another, it simply never worked out.
Then there are those who never saw children as part of their life plan and don't feel any kind of void without having children in their lives.
"Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?"
Don't Want Them Enough
"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that."- SignificantFunny1523
Prefer A Good Night's Sleep
"Sleep."
"I love sleep."
"I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore."
"I much prefer sleep to children."- DamnIGottaJustSay
How Long Have You Got?
"Why do I plan not to have children?"
"Well..."
"'unrolls a list that's miles long...'"- HagBasket
Superstition
"This curse ends with me."- DaveTheRoper
Too Short A Fuse...
"Don’t have the patience for kids."- Leoimirmir
When Weighing The Pros And Cons...
"I don't see the upsides."- igna92ts
Plain And Simple
"I don’t want to be a parent."
"That’s a perfectly valid reason."- AllyriaCelene
Priorities
"Kids are great if you don’t like money or sleep."- ComplicationOnRS
"Clean house, financial comfort, ability to travel/leave the house whenever we want to."- Dear-Cockroach4589
Knowing What's Best For Yourself
"The whole process seems incredibly painful and difficult."
"I'd f*ck my kids up."
"I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style as a result of my toxic parents."
"I wouldn't be able to properly parent."
"I'm incredibly inpatient and would change my mind 3 months in, if I even made it through the whole pregnancy.'
"I want freedom."
"Having kids means being available and responsible."
"I am not and will not be these things."
"I wanna live for me, live to enjoy life, and I most definitely won't enjoy having kids."
"The world is overpopulated and f*cked."
"I don't see any point in bringing more people to this world."
"I have more reasons but these are my top 5."- mayo_nnais3
Fear
"Because I am scared of being a bad parent."
"I can't bring a life in this world just to screw it."
"Thanks for f*cking me up Narc dad."- WaywardRoads
Too Expensive
"To quote Homer Simpson 'aww I have 3 kids and no money. I wish I had 3 money and no kids'."
"I like my lifestyle."
"I am starting a 'college fund", but instead of paying for a 3-year degree I’m going to blow it on a looooonnngggg vacation."- timberwolf0122
"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid."- Typical_Conclusion_5
There are those who might call people selfish for not wanting children for the reasons listed above.
Perhaps these reasons are selfish, but on the other hand, they know they would not be able to give a child the attention, love, and support they would need.
It's the people who know this and have children anyway who might be considered the selfish ones.