Surprising Things Teachers Did That Somehow Didn't Get Them Fired
Reddit user stockstandardly asked: 'What DIDNT your teacher get fired for?'
There are certain things that are bound to get you fired in just about every profession.
Being nasty to colleagues and clients/customers, misusing company money, and first and foremost, not showing up to work.
When it comes to teachers, however, there are even more rules that others might not think of that are guaranteed grounds for dismissal.
Or so we think.
As some teachers manage to get away with shocking, if not downright apalling behavior and still manage to stay in the classroom, and out of the rubber room.
Redditor stockstandardly was curious to hear some of the most outrageous things ever done by teachers who managed to hold on to their jobs, leading them to ask:
"What DIDNT your teacher get fired for?"
You Thought There Was Only One...
"Y4 teacher put gaffer tape over the mouth of talkative students."
"Regularly."
"History Teacher invited me (16yo) over for beers and smokes."- stockstandardly
It Is Possible To Be TOO Close...
"Y5-7 gym teacher showered with us (the boys) because apparently there was chewing gum in the drain in the teacher's shower." - Runkepapir
Nobody Knew, Or Nobody Did Anything?
"I knew of two girls in my grade (age 16-17) that had inappropriate relationships with two separate teachers."
"Nobody was punished because nobody knew."
"Which makes me think this kind of thing probably happens all the time."- Green0livesAndHam
No Harm, No Foul?
"We had this little old lady for our all-male music class(16 years old) and she loved us and we all loved her."
"When we left the class she would slap our bottoms and we'd joke around trying to not get hit and dodging it and just goof off."
"We knew it was absurd and inappropriate and so did she but we all thought it was hilarious."
"I was always worried someone would narc or another teacher would see it and say something."
"She was the best. Hilarious woman and a good teacher."- SkinkaLei
How Much Proof Do They Need?
"Purposely slamming a student’s hand with the door."
"Hard."
"Happened a year after I graduated hs but there’s video footage of it out there somewhere."- lecstasy
Schools Should Be A Safe Haven...
"Telling the whole class to beat me up after school and defending them when I defended myself."- QuiescisMagna
'Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child"?... ABSOLUTELY NOT!
"I remember when I was in elementary school and my sister as well."
"My sister would always come home complaining of her bottom hurting and having trouble sitting."
"Back in school days during the 80s, they would give wooden paddle licks to kids for misbehaving, etc."
"My mother confronted my sister one day for all the complaining."
"She made my sister pull her pants down and saw multiple bruises on her bottom."
"My sister confessed that her teacher was giving paddles to her for however many multiplication problems she missed on her tests."
"Apparently, she was getting licks quite frequently."
"The next morning, when dropping us off at school, my mother was infuriated and stormed into the office and gave them a piece of her mind."
"Showed them the bruises on my sisters bottom."
"My mom fought hard to get the teacher fired, but they never did."
"The only thing they did was move my sister to another room, and the teacher stopped paddling kids."
"My sister never told my mom she got licks."
"I never did either.'
'Because you were scared of getting in trouble at home."
"Because getting licks at school meant you got in trouble at school."
"You didn't want your parents to find out."
"Can you imagine what would happen to the teacher in today's world?"- Safe-Block-7993
TEMPORARY LEAVE?!?!
"8th grade science teacher was asked if putting hair in dry ice as an experiment would create a reaction."
"Teacher said 'let’s see'."
"And proceeds to grab scissors, walk to said student, and cut off a two inch chunk of hair, close to her face, halfway down her waist length hair."
"You could hear a pen drop as he wordlessly walks over and tosses the chunk of hair into the box of dry ice."
"No reaction but he was put on temporary leave a week later."- InternalDreadIncomin
Learning By Anything But Example
"11th grade, teacher was clearly not heard by even a single student to say during a bomb threat that she hopes they blow the whole place up."
"This is after her husband got fired for knocking up a student."
"Not a single person heard her loudly proclaim she wanted the school to go boom, so she wasn't fired."
"Lol."
"Loved by all is an understatement."
"Another teacher 9th grade year wasn't fired for backing my friend into a corner and looming over her with his hand on the wall above her head."
"F*ck you, Mr Hanks."- GreenOnionCrusader
Far too many students feel unsafe at school for a variety of reasons.
Their teachers should never, EVER, be one of them.
And one bad teacher has the ability to ruin it for all the extraordinary teachers out there.
Who doesn't love a theme party?
When you not only get to dress up in something completely over the top, but also get to bear witness to everyone else's zany outfits in-keeping with the party's theme.
Be it Regency era, glam rock, or fairy tale villains.
Or what if the challenge is just to be blatantly inappropriate?
A theme which got the imagination of Redditor StockD0ctorStockD0ctor running wild, resulting in their taking to Reddit to ask:
"You are going to a party. The theme is dress inappropriately. Who or what do you dress as?"
And not on your foot, one imagines...
"Nothing but a tube sock."- Sanguiniutron
Reverse Psychology
"Dress normally, because if the theme is to dress inappropriately, and you dress appropriately, technically you're the one being inappropriate for the occasion."- GoAwayImHereForMemes
"I've actually been in a completely opposite situation."
"Was invited to a art exhibition, came in well dressed. It was basically porn but the person I went with forgot to mention that."
"I felt very malplace standing around people wearing next to nothing."
"So I would probably do that again because what's more inappropriate than being appropriate at an inappropriate event?"- cccantyousee
"I mean, if dressing inappropriately is the appropriate attire, then dressing appropriately would be inappropriate for the party, thus, making it appropriate."
"Now that I think about it, it's an unsolvable paradox."
"You could never appropriately dress inappropriately."- MUNKIESS
Getting Ready Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyIt's all in the details
"A suit."
"With the pants cuffs rolled up, wearing tevas with gym socks."- BitPoet
And they say you can only wear it once...
"Bridal gown."- fromhelley
Depends on your surroundings...
"Imma wear a parka."
"In South Texas."
"In August."- Ahshalon_Tenisk
Parka GIF by moodmanGiphyThe question is, what aren't you wearing...
"Nothing I'd just show up in lingerie."- cloboehobo
Wrong on so many levels...
"A two sizes to small wrestling singlet, and crocs."- thirdtimer_2020
I Like Swimsuit GIF by MOODMANGiphyThere's little more fun than facing the challenge of dressing to impress.
Or, in this instance, un-dressing to impress.
And if you are greeted by a round of shocked expressions, you know your choice of outfit was a success.
People Explain Which Phrases They Wish Everyone Would Stop Using
A lot of people like to talk.
Being outgoing or an extrovert is encouraged in popular culture as an ideal, so prattling on is seen as better than remaining silent.
But is it?
Especially when all that's said are the same tired clichés that stopped being clever a long time ago.
Redditor Medium-Grapefruit-86 asked:
"What’s a saying or phrase that people should stop using?"
Not an Excuse
"If someone is being a bully, and hurting people (mentally or physically), I hate hearing the phrase 'they are probably going through a lot'."
"That is almost definitely true, but that doesn’t make it OK to do."
‐ Jeffityfeffity
Just Unoriginal
"That's it. That's the tweet."
"LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK"
"I'll wait."
- TeaRexQueen
Echo Chamber
"'Why is no one talking about this?'
"Usually it's because OP has a very closed circle of followers/people they follow, people, in fact, are talking about 'this'."
- ReceptionExpensive
With 0 Self-awareness
"*post linking to a CNN or NYT article*"
"Top comment: 'Why isn't the media talking about this?'."
- Indercarnive
Rude
"Idk if this exactly counts, but I f*king hate that stupid tv/movie cliche where someone makes a genuine mistake tying to be helpful and they’re like 'I didn’t think that…' and the other person just cuts them off like 'That’s the problem, you didn’t think!'”
- KingOf_Anarchy
“OK—“
“NO, IT’S NOT OK!”
- BigbyWolf94
"Glad I'm not the only one. The amount of time I wasted trying to explain that 'okay' in that context is used for acknowledging what the person is saying. 🤦"
- craftjensin
Not That Deep
"Let that sink in'. Specifically as a mic drop in a poorly researched Facebook meme."
- RazrbackFawn
"People often leave their kitchen basin outside in winter... Let that sink in."
- Slanderous
Don't Get Paid Enough For This Joke
"'It must be free today' when something doesn't ring up. Even worse when something just takes an extra second to scan."
"Heard that so many times as a cashier."
- 0kokuryu0
Gotten Old
"I was today years old when…"
- niebla081
Trauma Isn't Great
"'What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger'."
"Bro when ? I’m just more traumatized."
- R_May0
Not Comforting
"When my dad died, a family friend said to 12-year-old me 'God needed him more'."
"I don't get how that's meant to be comforting."
- Complete_Entry
"People say all sorts of useless things when someone experiences loss."
"I had 'God needed more angels in heaven'—which I liked, because that made sense to me. At the time, I was 5 and understood that my mom would be a perfect angel."
"However, this same thing (my mom’s death that is) made my siblings instantly stop believing in God. As no God would do this—take away our mom."
"I’m sorry you had that negative experience—it’s so hard to know what to say or what we even want to hear."
- m37an13
"When our cat died, my mother span this yarn about how God happened to be passing by our house and saw a lovely cat that would look beautiful in his garden."
"Cue a lifelong perception of God as a jealous, opportunistic predator."
- joshii87
"God just decided to steal from us but it’s ok because hE LoVeS yOu."
- ccfenix
Words have impact, but sometimes its easiest to stick to the familiar.
But if you're just talking to have something to say, but not to say anything of value, silence works equally well if not better.
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Teachers Share The Most Inappropriate Thing A Kid Has Ever Told Them
Kids truly have no filter. They will say anything and everything to their teachers. They don't understand what's appropriate or inappropriate to say.
Plus, we tend to use innocent words that mean something else given the right context. Put the word "adult" in front of something and suddenly it's definitely not for kids. Fore example, "adult" beverage or "adult" movie.
It isn't until the age of seven when kids start to have their sense of internalized consciousness, reason, and morals. Tons of things are happening in the brain around this time that are incredibly important for development.
So when you put a bunch of five and six year olds in a room together who have no filter and lack a sense of morals, you're bound to get a few good stories. Redditors shared their best stories of kids saying inappropriate things in kindergarten.
Redditor XxClxudyxX asked:
"Kindergarten teachers, what is the most hilariously inappropriate thing a kid you were teaching has asked/told you?"
This will have you rolling!
Getting into the Christmas spirit.
"I was doing story time in the library. It was the first week of December. Kids were sitting on the floor in front of me and a number of parents were standing back behind them. We had some time to kill so I started talking with kids about what they wanted for Christmas. Just trying to feed info to parents."
"A little girl said she wanted a remote control butterfly. Another kid said, 'There's no such thing.'"
"The first girl said, "Sure there is. They're purple. But I want a pink one." Mom, in the back, looked exasperated and turned her head."
"Well, I thought it was exasperation. Turns out, probably not. Found out, later, that purple butterfly is a sex toy."
"I'm dying but think about it."
"Did the child touch it?"
"100% yes. Kids touch everything. Especially if it was cool enough to want one of their own for Christmas."
Show and tell.
"In kindergarten I once took my mom's tampon for show and tell and told the class it was dynamite. I can only imagine the conversation that occurred."
"Do you want to specify that it was a fresh unused one?"
"Sticks of dynamite are typically red."
Don't believe everything you hear.
"Went to a Parent Night for my first grader. All these grown-ups trying to squeeze into these little chairs and tables. Mrs. Wagner smiling at all of us...."
"First thing she says is, 'I promise not to believe half the stuff I hear about you from your children, if you promise not to believe half the stuff you hear about me.'"
- cicalino
"Oh, man. I totally would have said, 'Which half?' had I been there."
The "S" word.
"I'm not a kindergarten teacher but I know someone who is, and she told me the funniest story about a boy and girl in her class. Keep in mind these kids are 5-6 years old."
"Girl comes up to teacher, crying saying the boy called her 'the s word.'"
"Teacher is taken aback, asks girl, 'What is the s word?'"
"Little girl begins crying harder, appears horrified and yells 'I CANT SAY THAT WORD!!!'"
"Teacher calmly explains that she needs to know what the boy said and promises the girl she will not be in trouble for saying it this one time."
"Little girl (still crying hysterically) exclaims 'IM NOT SAYING IT BUT IT RHYMES WITH F*CK!'"
Teachers Describe The One Student That They'll Never Forget | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"I remember when my daughter was 5, I was venting to her dad about work or something and said, 'I'm not f*cking stupid.' Daughter looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'Mama, we do NOT say stupid.'"
"My kids are allowed to say 'stupid coronavirus', nothing else is stupid."
- Magsi_n
"My friend is an elementary school teacher. A little girl came over crying saying a boy called her the 'F' word. Friend asked what that was, thinking it had to do with Fart, and the girl responded, 'He called me a fat a**.' Boy's father swore he had no idea where his son learned the term."
The book store project.
"Not a teacher, but when I was in 2nd grade (about 7 years old) we were creating little towns with a few different stores in them. In my town, I had a 'kids bookstore' and an 'adult bookstore.' The teacher came by and looked over my assignment as I was showing it off and she was like, 'Hmm, let's change that to "grown-up bookstore."' I asked why and she was like, 'Oh, I don't know, it just sounds kind of weird.'"
"My (foreign) parents used to say they watched 'adult movies' meaning PG 13 and R rated."
"When I was in 2nd grade, for Father's Day we had to create newspapers all about our dads, their occupations and what we loved about them, etc. My best friend's dad was a volunteer firefighter and also drove a tow truck, which I thought was the coolest - and it was also much less abstract to a 7 year old than my father's occupation - a lawyer."
"I kept asking my mom, 'What does dad do?' but she couldn't explain it in terms that a 7 year old would understand. Finally I said, 'What does he sell to people?' and she said, 'Well, he sells...services, I guess?'"
"And so, my newspaper got printed proudly stating that my dad 'sells services.' Good lord."
The coolest thing ever.
"I said something cheekily that was like, 'Aren't I the coolest thing ever?' and a student piped up and said 'No, the coolest things ever are face tattoos.'"
"Not that inappropriate but really unexpected."
BootySniffer26
"Tinkle T."
"K-6 PE teacher here. I have too many of these stories, but I'll never forget 'Tinkle T' who I met during my masters internship. He peed. Often. One day he comes into class after recess covered in something wet. I thought he jumped in a puddle at recess. He said, 'Teacher, I got something nasty on me.' I asked what happened, and he said, 'I went to the bathroom and my dingy didn't work right.' He was literally soaked. Like, hair dripping wet into his eyes. Turns out he tried to pee with a tiny boner, looked right into it, and sprayed his whole body."
AlanaMcEvoy
"This is the best and worst thing I've ever heard."
Image_Inevitable
Kids really do say the darnedest things!
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Comedians are always pushing the envelope when delivering what they think is hilarious on paper.
Certain forms of comedy like roasts, dark humor, and one-liners for the sake of having shock value are all risky, but if the jokes are clever to start and delivered smartly, comedians can really knock it out of the park.
Or they could really have a negative impact on audiences.
Curious to find out about the boundaries within the world of standup, Redditor thebosomofthePacific asked:
"What should be off-limits in comedy?"
Pranks are a popular comedy tactic, but the result isn't always a laughing matter.
Unwilling Participants
"Pranks on people who don't want to be involved, especially ones that physically or psychologically hurt people."
"Agreed, all those 'prank' channels where they say and do horrible things to their children and then go 'it's just a prank, you little baby!' while their kid is sobbing… that sh*t makes me sick."
Pranksters
"Physically involving people who didn't want to be involved (e.g. YouTube / TikTok pranksters)"
"ANYTHING should be allowed on pure standup comedy though."
The Golden Rule
"I had a practical joke book when I was a kid and on the first page and the back it had in big letters: 'The golden rule of pranks: A prank is supposed to make people happy and laugh' If you pull a prank on someone and they don't laugh or find it funny, no matter what: YOUR PRANK WASNT FUNNY! STOP, APOLOGISE IMMEDIATELY, EXPLAIN YOURSELF AND APOLOGISE MORE. If you don't do this, you're not a prankster you're just an a**hole!""
"At the end of every joke it had 'Remember the Golden Rule' It kinda stuck with me 20 years later."
– Cprich22
Dark humor is perfectly acceptable, but even those can have hard limits.
Rule Of Thumb
"Nothing should be off limits, but Chris Rock gave a good rule of thumb on Talking Funny that you should joke about what people DO, not what they ARE."
Frankie Boyle
"Frankie Boyle is possibly my least favourite comedian because, while some of his lines are funny (albeit dark and uncomfrotable) he usually goes for the darkest and most controversial thing he can say in a given scenario even if it is not really relevant or funny. His dark jokes are fine but they're ruined for me by the fact he clearly tries to make everything as dark and controversial as he can, and sometimes they end up being funny, rather than being as funny as possible and sometimes they're dark and controversial."
A Study In Contrasts
"Listen, dark jokes are fine. Nothing is off limits. But there's a difference between being funny and just saying disgusting sh*t."
"Bias Comedy"
"Shock comedy, and what I'll call 'bias comedy.'"
"If the punchline itself is just the fact that you said a racial slur, or made fun of somebody with cerebral palsy, that's pretty lame."
"Also, if the only reason anyone is laughing is just because you made a political statement and they agree with you, that's pretty lame as well."
Reading the room was mentioned as a key factor to successfully landing a joke.
Gauge The Audience
"Comedy is subjective, there should be no limits. However it is still a good idea to keep in mind who the audience is."
The Right Structure
"depends on the structure of the Joke."
"you can laugh: about it , or with it , or at it."
"if you laugh at someone or something on the other hand , you reeeaally gotta know your audience."
Expectations
"I think it's a mutual trust thing, both the comedian should know the audience and the audience should know the comedian. I will not sympathize with someone who is offended at jokes Bill Burr makes and then simultaneously goes to a Bill Burr performance a few weeks later."
Racist jokes are tricky. I understand some of them are rooted in truth, but if delivered poorly, they can be downright offensive.
Being Asian, I'm indifferent to a comedian's dig at a minority group if it's based on a tired stereotype like, "Asians make terrible drivers"—which is absolutely not true.
To deliver hackneyed jokes like that is a mark of laziness in my opinion.
But even more unforgivable is when racial epithets are used. I cringe whenever a comic of any ethnicity uses a racist slur targeting themselves as if to demonstrate they have permission to denigrate their own community.
And it's not about being "too sensitive." The opposition stems from the need to prevent microaggressions from potentially evolving into bigger forms of hatred many ethnic groups constantly face in their everyday lives.
But that's just my take.