Objection! Much like WebMD, everyone should not use the internet for a for the legal equivalent. If you need legal representation, then put some pennies together and get some, or do the only research you should, find free legal aide. Too many people are trusting people they'll never see for life matters that are too important. Once and awhile some lawyers take a look to see what's being thrown about and most of it is problematic.
Redditor u/NoodlesTheKitty wanted to hear from employees of the court about the times they couldn't believe what they were hearing and seeing by asking.... Lawyers of Reddit - what is the worst advice you've seen on r/legal advice?
Different Place... Different Troubles....Lawyer GIF by memecandyGiphy
I'm a lawyer and the biggest mistake I see people make is assuming the law is the same everywhere. There is a reason we need to be licensed in every state to practice there. Furthermore, if it's not your specific area of expertise, a general knowledge of the law is probably not enough.
In Bad Faith
Not r/legaladvice but r/exmormon for legal advice. I remember the time someone was mentioning they were gearing up for a divorce but didn't have enough money to retain an attorney for the proceedings. Someone on the sub gave them the advice that they should get consultations with all of the top divorce attorneys in the region. The reasoning was that if the attorney has consulted with one side in a case that they are obligated to not be able to represent the other side. They wanted the spouse to also not have access to an attorney.
Comes out later that OP actually took that advice & consulted with 30 divorce attorneys. None were able to take the case so spouse has a hard time hiring one. Eventually the spouse & attorney found the thread on reddit and were able to tie the account back to OP.
Judge not only rules totally in favor of the spouse but OP was also ordered to pay part of the attorneys fees due to abuse of process, acting in bad faith, etc which made things more expensive for her.
"not a lawyer"
In a thread asking about the legality of physically assaulting people who don't wear masks in public (Big surprise, its still assault) the general consensus was "Feeling strongly enough about something means laws don't matter."
I tend to notice its common on reddit to have this weird, psychotic power fantasy going on where you can respond to minor rudeness with immediate and overwhelming violence and be applauded for it while doing so.
A lot of advice in r/legaladvice from "not a lawyer" types seems to advocate blatantly illegal and often violent behavior in reprisal to some pretty minor slights. The mod team is pretty good at taking down these types of comments, but you still see a lot of them.
Looking....Looking Jim Carrey GIF by Golden GlobesGiphy
The only half decent advice I've ever seen come from that sub was what kind of lawyer you need to look for. It's safest to assume that everyone else is a cop or a maroon.
It was regarding a noncompete or some kind of employment contract. All of the advice in the thread, including from quality contributor flared posters, was saying "looks like you're stuck, it's a contract and you agreed to it, consider it a life lesson."
With 2 minutes of research I found an appellate case directly on point from the relevant jurisdiction saying "employers can't enforce this contractual clause because it's against public policy." Meaning that everyone else giving advice in the thread was correct generally, but 100% wrong for the OP.
Lexis/westlaw searches (the way lawyers research the law) are obscenely expensive, so I don't expect anyone in r/legaladvice to be doing them out-of-pocket to help internet randos. But I found it with google. Either way, if you're posting there giving advice half-cocked, not knowing the full facts or law, I feel like you're violating your ethical obligations as an attorney.
I'm a lawyer. So much of it is straight up garbage. It's pretty clearly full of folks googling away. The best answers are often downvoted lol. I followed legal advice for a few days or something and bounced as fast as possible.
Don't rely on Reddit if you need advice.
I'm not a lawyer but I really enjoyed the person talking about my state's Great Ponds law. The question was asking what to do about people trespassing on OP's boat ramp at their summer cabin. According this poster, the Great Ponds law says there needs to be access, so therefore OP is out of luck. In reality, the law says that the town must provide public access to lakes or ponds over a certain size, not that you can just walk through anybody's property to get there.
Basicsviola davis side eye GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
In my opinion, there are only three actual pieces of advice from that sub.
- Call the police
- Get a lawyer
- You're screwed. MooKids
Have a Nice Life
I'm not a lawyer, but I used to browse r/legaladvice. A year or two ago, there was a girl who was looking for options to prevent her parents from taking her back to the ancestral third-world country for a year for "school" or something. The post was chock-full of red flags; from the context it seemed pretty likely that the actual reason was far more sinister (I don't remember the specifics, but it seemed likely she would be married off, and in any case would not be returning to the USA at any point).
As I recall, she seemed reluctant to leave her friends for "a year" and didn't look forward to the trip, but she seemed oblivious that there might be something worse in store. Specifics aside, everyone was justifiably scared for her.
Nobody had any particularly useful legal advice, because it turns out there's not really anything illegal about leaving the country with your minor/dependent child with a good cover story, and her few preemptive legal options would have required more money and freedom than she had.
People did, however, have a lot of practical advice. Things like, "under no circumstances should you get on the plane," "talk to a teacher ASAP," "if you can't avoid going to the airport, pocket something that'll earn you a private interview with security and tell them you're being trafficked," etc. Again, I don't remember all the specifics, and maybe not all the advice was useful. But some of it was stuff the girl probably needed to read.
The comments section got ripped apart by the mods. It was just a graveyard of deleted posts followed by "This comment has been removed because it does not contain any legal advice." And the post itself was removed later with a short note to the effect that "this is not something we can help you with, have a nice life."
I get it, a sub has rules to keep the conversation focused, and you don't want to get in the habit of making exceptions, or the rules no longer mean anything. But those rules are enforced by people, not robots, and sometimes a rule-breaking comment could literally save a life. Have a little empathy.
I unsubscribed that day. I hope the girl is okay.
You Never KnowLaw Lawyer GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
For people unaware there are no qualifications to be a contributor on r/LegalAdvice. So you could be getting responses from actual qualified lawyers or it could be a 15 yr old repeating garbage they heard on the internet.
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Lawyers Share The Most Incriminating Evidence They Ever Found That They Couldn't Actually Use In Court
Every time I watch Law & Order: SVU I scream at the television when a judge throws out a piece of vital evidence. When they give a "reason" I'm like... that makes no sense. How can evidence be disqualified? It's evidence! Imagine how much more frustrating it is to learn that that happens in real life. I'm stunned. Can you imagine being the lawyer or client when you discover the smoking gun, the linchpin to the whole case is something that can't be used? Ridiculous.
Redditor u/shortbus79 wanted the lawyers of the net to share with us some stories of frustration by asking.... Prosecuting Attorneys of Reddit, what is the most incriminating evidence you've found but couldn't use?
Cycle ProofPenn Badgley Joe Goldberg GIF by YOUGiphy
My bike was stolen, but then returned 3 days later splattered in blood including several complete clear fingerprints (I kid you not).
I called police and they couldn't run the prints because the "thief" was another tenant in my building and the bike was taken from a building on our property.
Lawyer, but not a prosecutor. A buddy shared an old story about this dude who was caught on video (hidden camera) receiving bribe money. Thing is, the footage wasn't authenticated properly. Dude was ultimately acquitted.
I heard this could happen, I'm not clear on the exact laws surrounding it, and I don't live in the US so it could be different for them, but I did hear that there are only certain video file types that are admissible because they can't be modified and returned to the same type. Doesn't make it a completely infallible system, and other video files are likely acceptable within reason, although they're not necessarily counted as solid evidence.
Not a prosecutor, but I remember reading about a case where a black man (I'll just call him Joe) was arrested for a murder he hadn't committed. After spending numerous years in prison, people began looking into his case because he had said the entire time he had not committed any crime.
The investigators began to find that many of the eye witness testimony was questionable to say the least and there were numerous errors the police department had made when filing the case which then called into question other evidence that had been originally presented at the first trial.
Basically at this point the investigators believed there was enough evidence to convince a court that Joe was wrongfully convicted due to numerous errors by law enforcement and the fact that many of the original "eye witnesses" later admitted they were either too far away or had an obstructed view to see who actual perp was.
However, there was ONE witness that truly believed they had seen the Joe commit the crime despite all of the errors and other eye witnesses mentioned above.
The Joe went to court several times to try and get out of prison on basis of bad evidence etc., but this one eye witness was so passionate when questioned that every single time the jury sided with the witness and Joe stayed in prison.
So despite the overwhelming evidence that Joe was wrongly convicted, and that all but one eye witness TESTIFIED that they couldn't really be sure they had seen Joe commit the crime, one eye witness was what kept him in prison. Not really incriminating evidence, but overwhelming evidence he was innocent yet the jury kept siding with one eye witness.
I can't remember if Joe ever got out, but even still, he'd been behind bars for decades at that point. If anyone can find the actual case, please link it below.
Hidden Treasuretreasure chest GIF by Archie ComicsGiphy
Not a prosecutor but my wife's mom opened a letter showing her husband was hiding crap loads of money (they were going through a divorce) unfortunately because she had opened the letter addressed to someone else she couldn't use it.
Not a prosecutor. But my parents were horribly abusive. Like to the point what when I was 4 days old, CPS tried to get my mother to give me up for adoption because they already had so many complaints about what they were doing to my 2 older sisters. But it didn't work out. 6 years later, they were taken before the court for child abuse and neglect. My older sisters gave testimony (I couldn't for various reasons), CPS presented their reports. Multiple complaints from neighbors, teachers, doctors, and my own grandmother. But the idiot of a judge refused to commit my parents because my mother didn't confess that my father did abuse us.
Instead they were let go and we were sent into foster care. From then on though CPS would take every child they had. All 6 of them. Fast forward almost 20 years and my mother is arrested and charged with felony child abuse with children 10 and 11. She only served 3 months because "it was all her new husbands fault". As soon as she got out, CPS immediately tried putting the girls back with her even though they knew she had a track record of abuse but it was from another state so it didn't count.
I had this issue where my flat was broken into when I was a kid, they took everything and the worst part was we knew who it was and even asked if they took our PS1 and TV, (I was like 6 and this was many years ago) turns out they did and police couldn't do anything because of "no evidence."
I'm a lawyer but not a prosecutor but I eat lunch and talk to other lawyers. Here is my story. There's a murder of a college girl in my town. It goes cold. Sadly, cops do what cops do, charge some random black guy that worked at the complex the murdered girl lived at. His trial is a hung jury once and second a mistrial.
Well, while he's awaiting trial for the third time, police are serving an arrest warrant on a totally unrelated person and in that dude's home they find some creepy ass shrine to dead girl. Wasn't a relative or anything. He just had tons of pictures of her on his wall. They couldn't use that and had no proof he was the real killer. Black guy's chargers were dropped. Nobody was ever convicted of her murder.
Jury Dutynervous court GIF by South Park Giphy
Jury Nullification. Never let any attorney know that you know what that entails, if selected for jury duty.
Po Po Issues
Anything the police mess up and then gets suppressed. If the police violate your constitutional rights, the evidence will be suppressed from court. I've had confessions suppressed. Physical DNA suppressed. That always sucks to tell a victim their assailant is going free because of lazy police work.
The Evidence Says....Bill Cosby GIFGiphy
As a defense attorney, I've had tons of cases where I have got evidence of my client's clear guilt suppressed because the government violated their rights.
I have no regrets. Pounds of drugs. Weapons. Videos. Confessions. DNA. All suppressed. Get your evidence legally or stop wasting the people's money, at my client's expense.
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It's difficult to admit when we've messed up. Especially if we truly had good intentions, but just played those intentions wrong. Nobody wants to be the guilty one, the one to inflict unpleasantness onto others, but sometimes we just do. And often it can take a hot minute, or decade, to reflect and realize.... we were the villain of the piece. Then what do we do? Take the knowledge to the grave or our own up and apologize?
Someone I hadn't talked to in years came up to me and started telling me about how they haven't been doing that good lately and that they found out they have cancer. Well... I was at work and only half paying attention so after he stopped talking I said "That's good." Haven't seen him since.
Years ago I went into a hot topic and as I was at the register, the girl working started telling me about all the new Metallica shirts they had gotten. For some reason, I told her I wasn't really into wearing band shirts anymore, which was mostly true, and even though I didn't mean to, it came out sounding really snobbish. At the time, I thought her reaction was kinda strange, even accounting for my accidental condescension. Shortly after I left the store I remembered I was wearing a NIN shirt.
You're cut off
In early high school, late 90's, so if you got a girl's number it was the house number- I called a girl's house and her dad answered. She was out, but I noticed his speech was a bit slow and slurred. Next day at school I mentioned I had called, and asked if her dad had been drinking.... well turns out he didn't drink much since his stroke. Still feel awful about that!
One Waydriving rush hour GIFGiphy
I was driving down a road and a lot of people were honking and yelling at me on the street. I got angry and flipped a bunch of people off and honked back.
At the end of the street I saw a one way sign and realized I was going in the wrong direction.
I was drunk at a pub and shouted for the band to play Free Bird. They stopped in the middle of the song they were playing, started up Free Bird and called me up on stage to sing it. I froze, forgot all the lyrics and made an absolute fool of myself. Props to that band though.
I was making fun of an old guy I'd seen outside our school at a basketball tournament to some friends in the locker room. He looked and talked like Farmer Fran from the Waterboy. Turned out to be the dad of one of the guys I was talking to. Still can't even think of that movie without it bringing up endless amounts of shame.
Too Youngryan gosling breaking up GIFGiphy
"Broke" up with my first girlfriend who was really attached to me, just by ignoring her... I feel so bad. i was just a kid but that was a harsh treatment.
I was a senior in high school and was waiting for my dad to pick me up. At the time, I was also the head student athletic trainer. As my dad pulled up in his 1971 Ford Galaxy with a big old V8 engine (and this was in 1992), a couple of freshman football players commented, "Hey! I wonder whose dad is driving the Uncle Buckmobile!" I turned around and glared and said "Mine". They realized who it was and quickly shut up :) it was kinda awesome, and my dad got a kick out of it.
Upon ReflectionThird Eye Mirror GIF by PhazedGiphy
This entire year. Been recovering from my divorce last year and it forced me to take a hard, honest look at myself and all the crap I used to do and how I actually treated those around me. A lot of tough to swallow pills, but a lot of much needed reflection taken place.
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Sometimes the universe just conspires against you. You do not deserve it, you lack the ability to avoid it, and yet circumstances align in the worst way possible.
Often, that looks like a bad day. But there is another version of the conspiring cosmos: not a bad day, but an incriminating one.
There you are, minding your business, when, before you realize it's happened, everything around you seems to scream trouble. For some reason--whether its the possession of the wrong item at the wrong time or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time--you have suddenly landed in a situation that, if caught, you could never explain to the authorities.
At the time, you feel complete dread and some frustration at the dynamics of the universe. But looking back, it's pretty hilarious.
A recent Reddit thread asked users to remember their most suddenly incriminating moments.
rickkyaa asked, "What's your 'if I get caught there's no explanation' story?"
Smart Move, Better Safe Than Sorry
"I was in a camp shower (stalls, not open) when an unaccompanied kid about four years old started crawling into my stall from below the door. I was telling him to scram, but he wasn't listening. It was only us in the showers at the time. I had no idea where his folks were."
"I scrambled to put my clothes on (still soaking wet) when it was clear this kid was bent on getting into my stall. I rinsed the soap out of my hair with my clothes on and then took the kid by the hand to find his parents."
"Had I been caught in the shower with a stranger's child I'd have had a very difficult time explaining it."
"I found his mom, frantic, about five minutes later. I guess the kid was looking for his dad who he heard was in the showers and he thought I was him."
Scary to Know it Worked
"Flew on a major airline with a razor blade hidden in my phone case."
"I was meaning to buy one to peel the window tint off of my car, but I found one at work in a drawer. I didn't have any way to safely carry it so I put it in my phone case behind my phone."
"I about died when I was on the beach and realized what I had done. Threw it in the trash right away before I forgot again."
"When visiting a friend, went straight in... to the wrong house (In their building people keep their doors open). Make myself a cup of tea, put on the TV, and wait on the sofa for them to return."
"Someone else comes in, says nothing, looks at me weird, and goes to the bedroom. Call up my friend to ask when they are coming."
"They are at their house. They come and pick me up."
The Great Potato Incident
"I was with friends at a local park late at night, like 2 or 3am. Parks close at 11 and a cop doing his drive through check of the park found me and my two friends sitting in a picnic area and we definitely were not supposed to be there."
"We had all gotten stoned and hatched a ridiculous plan to mess with our other friend. The cop approached us while we were laughing hysterically with a huge bag of potatoes in front of us while we drew sexually charged images on the potatoes with sharpie markers."
"It was rough trying to explain to him that the penis potatoes were supposed to be a practical joke. We were going to leave them all over our friends lawn. Somehow he was fine with that and told us to take our potatoes and go somewhere other than the park."
"I still remember that night fondly."
"My boss left his office door open one time. I was working late that night and went into his laptop to see if he had anything juicy. He did. He had a document with a title something like 'what is wrong with 99thusername?' It included a handy list of my character flaws."
"If I had gotten caught, there would have been absolutely no excuse!"
Steal First, Buy Later
"Stealing a truck and driving it home because the owner had agreed to sell it to me, but he was out of town and wanted me to move it before it got towed, but he had the keys and paperwork."
"It was a short drive, but nervous as hell in a very small cop-saturated town in a hot wired truck."
A Nude Escape
"Oh it was epic teenage stupidity."
"Girl invited me over to a small house party. I was the only guy (score!) and there was drinking (new to me). So we all got hammered. Then someone came up with the idea of strip football?"
"All I know is, I'm drunk as hell, all I got left on are my boxers, at least one of them girls was in full underwear, one was actually topless but jeans on."
"We were all f***ing living it up in the backyard when her parents came home unexpectedly and I literally ran, grabbed my jeans that had my wallet in it and just ran for my life from there. Sacrificing my shoes and other clothes in the name of stupidity."
"Going outside in full winter gear bundled up to my eyes in the middle of a hot summer night because I saw my dog sniffing something on the ground and was worried it was a dead animal and wanted to check..."
"...but I have OCD and am fixated on bats and an intense fear of being bitten by a bat so I covered every inch of myself in padded clothing. wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors saw me."
An Unlucky Contortionist
"I got razor burn on the back of my thigh, I have horrible eyesight so in order to see where the burns are I have to bring my face physically closer to the back of my thigh."
"Cut over to me, foot up behind my head as I rub lotion on the back of my thigh sitting in my office chair watching lilo and stitch."
"I was getting ready for a New Years Eve party and decided I needed to shave but I didn't have any aftershave or shaving cream, so I used a little bit of watered down vodka just to make sure everything was fresh. But I sort of gave off a vodka smell."
"Then I realized I needed to pick up drinks for the party so I went to the liquor store but I got kind of lost in a neighborhood because there were a lot of one way streets and I kept repeatedly passing a police car hanging out at a corner."
"I realized how suspicious I would look driving around on NYE smelling like vodka on my way to the liquor store."
"Luckily everything went fine and me and my friends partied in my basement and then Ubered to a bar."
"I can't quite remember the details but I recall stealing a smart car with about 10-12 other dudes at a party. We 'simply' picked it up and carried it to my buddy's garage."
"The next morning me and my buddy felt remorseful and told his neighbor, luckily nothing was no damage, just a few greasy hand prints."
Could've Confessed Just a Few Steps Away
"This feels like a confessional."
"I stole a bottle of 'Holy Water' out of the shipping box in the storage room at church , when I was an alter girl."
The Key Ingredients
"Sophomore year of high school i showed up with nothing in my backpack but whip cream, weed and handcuffs 3 days in a row."
"If those had happened to be random locker inspection days i don't know what i would have said."
"Once had my minivan driving through a conservative town in the hills."
"We had been doing some body paint art at my house and I needed to transport 5 models to the site 2 miles away where we would be shooting the photos for a high concept art piece."
"So it was me, and 5 naked people painted with graffiti that spoke to human failures and weaknesses."
"It occurred to me that it might be a really bad time to have an accident, get a ticket, or have the van stop working."
"I had a SUV filled with ducks and a couple chickens in a graveyard around midnight. Me and the other guy happened to have knives on us, but that was not related. Got busted by the cops, who threatened to charge us for stealing city property for taking the fowl from a nearby park, but they let us go."
"We had been waiting there while an accomplice infiltrated the girls' dorm. The plan was to release them into the dorm."
Hiding the Evidence
"I was a weird kid. I printed out erotic literature and hid it. I took it to the bathroom 'to read' and my mom wanted to know what was taking me so long."
"I ended up ripping it up into tiny pieces over the next 10 minutes and flushing it."
Whips and Stuff
"There was an explanation but it still felt sketchy. Bringing my riding crop to school." -- Kenns02
"I kept a bull whip in my locker for about a week and a half, used it once for some project. Oh and once to hit my friend in the hall, ended up in the principles office for that." -- astrorobot85
Lawyers have a difficult job. Yes we make fun of them and often make their lives miserable but they are just doing their jobs to the best of their abilities. They are human... contrary to popular belief. They have plenty of moments and mistakes they regret. And in hindsight they often look back at a win as a fail.Redditor u/Mr-Ard wanted to know if any of the law professionals out there were wiling to fess up by asking.... Lawyers of reddit, what case you wish you never won?
Was I happy I won?
Client hired IT consultants from another consulting firm. The firm basically found qualified people and rented them out, sort of like a recruiter but they get fees forever (common in IT consulting). Client eventually thought he was paying too much (even though he agreed to it), and stopped paying. He owed $200k.
In NJ, you need to be licensed as a consulting firm. If you're not, you can't sue for your unpaid bills. They sued anyway, tried to argue some loopholes. We won, client paid nothing beyond my legal fees.
Was I happy I won? Meh. Gave me a great story, great for my reputation. Doesn't feel great helping out a douchebag though. I'm an underling who had no role in being able to reject the case, so that was a little bit of a consolation at least. CarolaMckey
Not a lawyer, but I became friends with one after my friend took USAA to court after they wouldn't pay a claim when their member rear ended her on her scooter after she stopped for a stop sign. Their lawyer kept talking to me to try to coach my friend on what to say, but she just wouldn't listen. He was a nice guy and wanted to help her since his client was obviously in the wrong. Unfortunately, USAA won and she was stuck with a $12k ER bill. AggravatingEducator4
I represented a man accused of murder. I was able to get him off on a technicality during his arrest but it was pretty clear he was guilty of the murder. I truly regret getting him off because he was most definitely guilty. 2stepgarage
Lifelong public defender, here. None.
I will also say that my feelings for a client are rarely impacted by what they are accused of having done. I've had accused murderers whom I enjoyed working with. I've had accused shoplifters I've wanted to strangle. aolowa
Pain in the Neck....
When I was an insurance defense attorney there was a guy who sued one of my clients after she hit his car and hurt his neck. He was legitimately hurt bad enough to where he couldn't do his job anymore. I had to defend her and I did a good job from her and her insurance company's perspective and all he got was his past medical bills. The jury should have given him a lot more than that, and I have felt bad about that for years. ipaywithlitecoin
I represented a foreign medical company, they have a worldwide monopoly in a treatment for a specific kind of cancer. They used to sell these treatments to hospital and other public organizations. They had a fight with buyers for the price of the treatment, they wanted to be paid way more of the price set up by the hospitals, so they decided to fake a shortage in some of the components needed and stopped producing this product worldwide, leaving a lot of patients to certain death.
After some time that they came back to produce that same product and their price demand were met. They had both criminal and civil consequences, but In the end I managed to reduce the their responsibility to just a small economic fine which was less than 0,001 per cent of the profit they made with this whole operation. Mim3sis
Looking at the Dying....
I won a case for a pharmaceutical company that was accused of selling contaminated products. My cases were all against people who had developed terminal illnesses and I fought tooth and nail to discredit the scientific experts that the plaintiffs put on the stand.
I started out losing cases and the sting of a loss lasted a day or two. The mistrials were best because we kinda "won," as in kicking the can down the road. Looking at a dying person when the jury read their verdict in my favor will never leave me.
I didn't show up at work for months, then kinda sat at my desk for a few months, then eventually quit. I'm living off my savings now (not as much as you'd think) and volunteering for organizations that need lawyers.
If I'd lost that case I would have stayed in my happy world indefinitely. I'm glad I'm out of that world but that win took its toll on my life. Cheef-Justice
Well once you've taken a case (more realistically, it was given to you) you have no choice but to do whatever you think is necessary for the best interests of your client. To do anything less open you up to a malpractice lawsuit.
Also, don't forget there are lawyers on both sides of the case with the same duty to their clients. So in the end the 'winning' side is simply the one that put forward a stronger case. shouldbhi
The one thing this post is teaching me is that I could never be a lawyer because I have a conscience.
And I mean no offense by this. I am sorry that you folks have to live with these things. I know I am not mentally strong enough. TheGoodGovernment
In a funky country....
None of them. I want to win. I knew though that I'd have a tougher time not being emotionally engaged with family law and crime and anything else really emotive and so forged a career where it's companies and cash at stake.
Now I work in-house as a litigator for a multinational co covering disputes throughout the world. I always do make sure that if we're thinking of litigating in a funky country that the penalties aren't inhumane. No interest in someone getting executed or flogged for messing with the Company. aolllllllll
"They found me NOT guilty??"Giphy
I had a misdemeanor stalking case once. Client wanted a jury trial so we did that and I had to question the poor girl who was getting harassed by this guy. The jury came back with a 'not guilty' verdict, and my client turned to me and said incredulously, "They found me NOT guilty??" Yeah, that case. ThePrimCrow
Right before taking my bar exam in Germany I was working in a small law firm as a law apprentice. There was one case which was given to me, because it was considered unwinable but the client insisted on pushing through. The case was about an elderly lady who sold her cat, because she was too sick to take care of her.
The buyer of the cat our client, a rather wealthy lady, took the cat to the vet right after buying it. Apparently the cat needed 2000€ worth of surgeries. She hired us to collect those 2000 from the old lady. She was really an unpleasant woman to say at least.
She acted without even the slightest bit of remorse or empathy. She knew exactly in what situation the old lady was, because she was the one who informed us about it. Nevertheless we won the case pretty quick even though our client didn't have a leg to stand on. CrystalDexter
big city in America....
I used to prosecute neglect cases for Child Protection Services. After a few high profile cases where young kids ended up dead at the hands of family members, CPS starting asking us to file on pretty much everybody (I understand why, but I wish they would have stood up to the bad press instead of allowing it to dictate who they brought to court).
From that point on, I would say about half my cases, even though a cause of action existed, I felt guilty for winning. folicfoil
We took a copyright case to trial twice, and then an appeal, and won every time. The case was on contingency (the client doesn't pay unless you win). We have spent years trying to collect the judgment from the defendant so we can get paid (we have a judgment for our own fees that is close to $1 million), throwing good money after bad.
The Defendant hid his assets very effectively (put all hard assets into LLCs, got paid hundreds of thousands a year in cash and services to avoid banks, etc.). He died of covid19 on Friday, and was likely savvy enough to avoid probate.
All of this is a gross oversimplification, but the TL;DR is we won a case three times, and have never been paid a cent because the loser was very shady and died, so we will likely get nothing for the client or ourselves. 3choplex
Was a labor lawyer for some time and we had a no-exception policy against using the company credit card for personal expenses. Everyone knows you get fired for it because they beat it into you with frequent training, make you sign stuff, etc. We fired a guy who was a few months from retirement, and his union filed for arbitration.
Arbitration is kind of a joke and any labor lawyer will tell you that no arbitrator would uphold that termination even if the guy wasn't near retirement. We won. Due to the way the pension worked, the fact he left before he reached 55 led to a massive pension discount, like hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Oh, by the way his offense was fulling up his car with gas using company card because he had left his personal card somewhere and was going to run out of gas. (On the other side of the coin I had many employees do insane things like hide and sleep at work for 40 hours, lead to a 30,000 gallon gasoline spill, fighting, death threats, etc who all got their jobs back through arbitration). LenoreHalperin
Seeing lots of armchair lawyers in here, but I can tell you the cases we often wish we lost: the ones where clients don't pay their damn bills. Actually getting paid is one of the most stressful parts of practicing. dustydeceiver
At a Loss....
Worked for a large law firm. We 'won' freedom for a suspected terrorist who probably did commit a very serious atrocity but politics got in the way of convicting him.
Sorry cannot say which case this was. sundialsoft
I'm used to do divorces....
I'm used to do divorces, mostly. I'm not cut out for that work but it's the job I could get out of law school. A guy came in for a divorce and seemed, by all accounts, really nice. He claimed that they had $50k in cash in their safe and that his wife had taken it out when she left the house. His ex wife never worked so seemed reasonable she would take the money to help pay bills, start over, etc. 6 months in though, when we were finalizing property, his true colors started to show. Refusing to let her have the toaster, arguing over giving her anything even though she hadn't worked their entire 15 year marriage, telling her she could have half of the expensive plants SHE tended to only if she came and got them herself without help.
For reference, these plants were in a green house and some weighed upwards of 100lbs each (she probably weighed 100lbs herself; extremely meek woman in her 60s). The other lawyer and I finally get everything settled except the $50k. My client says she took it, ex wife says she did initially but then put it back on the advice of her attorney. So we go to trial just on this $50k. I cross examine her elderly parents, treat them as hostile, really go all out. Up against a veteran attorney who had been doing this for 30 plus years while I was BRAND NEW, I had to show my worth.
In the end, the judge ended up declaring that the $50k was "lost money." No one, technically, wins. 1 hour later my client waltzes into the office and pays his $15k bill all in $100 bills. I just stared silently at the money while he smiled widely at me, thanked me for helping him and then left. I quit practicing law entirely 3 months later. I still think about his ex wife (who honestly seemed sweet and lovely) and hope she's okay. aworldofnonsense
one of our cases was trying to get the lowest possible amount for a guy who while doing his job in a stationary car was hit from behind at full speed (his car was off the road the other driver was impaired) and his car was slammed into the 18 wheeler he was helping. He is forever handicapped and in a home and our job was to get him way less than he deserved... I didn't want to work insurance defense anymore after that one. quint1993
I always thought it would be cool to be a lawyer until I had to pay 63K in attorney fees over the course of 2 years for custody of my daughter. Now I'm not complaining so much about the money, more so about watching her attorney try to turn a turd into a piece of gold, no matter how irrefutable the evidence against her was.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself or sleep at night defending on cases like that where I would potentially be trying to return children to drugs, abuse, neglect and etc. mienkio
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