When someone asks to crash at your place, it's admittedly difficult to say no. And honestly, usually it feels nice to be hospitable.
But as we know, no good deed goes unpunished.
Sometimes people just display a startling lack of conscientiousness. They waltz in, put their feet up (literally and figuratively), and proceed to treat the place as if it were an armpit or the orangutan cage at a zoo.
The host is left standing their slack-jawed--and concocting new internal policies about who is allowed to stay at their place in the future.
Redditor asked Valkyrie_to_Odin:
"What's the worst houseguest experience you've had?"
Many bad guests stories involve someone who stayed WAY too long. They just couldn't take a hint.
"My ex-wife's friend had her car break down, and our apartment was right on a bus route to her job. She was supposed to stay over for a week while she got her car fixed."
"After 2 months and a lot of warning, we packed her bags for her and put them by the door."
The Formative Months
"My mom's cousin and her husband went for a short visit to our house. She was five months pregnant then."
"She and her husband didn't leave until the baby was two months old."
Planing to be Here Awhile
"My aunt came to visit for what was supposed to be a week or two and didn't leave for almost a year when I was a kid. She redecorated my room and even put up pictures of herself."
"Now the running joke in my family is to randomly leave pictures of yourself around the house when we visit people."
Taking All There Was
"One of my best buddies from high school called me up and begged for me to come get him from a town about three hours away. The idea was he would stay with us for a couple weeks while he looked for work and then get his own place. Six months later I ended up renting him a room for one month and dropping him off with his junk and wishing him well."
"His father had warned me he would 'drain me dry' and he wasn't kidding. All those months he was supposedly using my vehicle to look for work he was instead going out to a local bar. Every bottle in our liquor cabinet was drained down to the last finger."
Some people were cartoonishly disrespectful. They trashed the place with no remorse whatsoever.
Cleaned Out and Left Cleaning
"She stole all of my booze, pissed on my couch, tore up the flower bed to the side of my driveway, and destroyed my guest bathroom."
"This all happened after I'd fallen asleep, she was a guest of a tenant/room mate and that room mate was told either her friend wasn't allowed over ever again or she'd have to find a new place to live."
Things That Are Normal Where You Live But Crazy Anywhere Else | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Instead of asking where the toilet paper is, they let their kid wipe his a** with our guest towels."
"They were overnight guests; there were definitely more rolls... they just didn't look around ¯\_o_/¯"
Taking Advantage of the Tech
"Wife's cousin stayed a couple days with us. After he left, I discovered he purchased about $60 worth of porn on directv."
"Husband of friend came for Xmas since she was out of town. He brought the dog. Who had diarrhea."
"Dog humped our dog for hours til our dog was covered in s**t."
"Husband spouted racist crap and my kids laughed at him."
"Had to wash our dog in the kitchen after he left."
"Friend divorced now."
Zero Effort Whatsoever
"We had a house-sitter once who wanted to bring their own dog for the week. They assured us the dog was well behaved and housetrained. This was a pretty close friend, and their house is nice and clean so we believed them."
"Came home to find every rug in our house destroyed. The house smelled funky when we walked in, and I immediately found wet spots on our living room rug. Lifted it up and it had more stained areas than not. Same with the kitchen, hallway, bedroom, and guestroom rugs. I'm guessing this dog didn't pee outside a single time it was there."
"This was someone we paid to watch our house."
And some discussed the strange an obnoxious behaviors that they just could not ignore.
"That would be the girl visiting my sister-in-law who decided it would be funny to repeatedly prank call 911. I got a very angry call from the local police station saying we either stopped or they'd be sending a squad car over."
"Apologised profusely to the officer and thanked him for calling us first. She was not invited back to her house, she was 17 and definitely old enough to know better."
"My old roommate told me she had a friend who had fallen on rough times and needed a spot to crash for a while. No worries, I told her."
"Oooh, big worries. He was a professional beatboxer, but more that that he was a professional smoker. Like, I'm fine with weed generally, but this dude was on 12-15 blunts a day, and would roll one as soon as he rolled his tighty whitey clad @ss off of our couch."
"So for like 4 months, as soon as I woke up, it was nothing but clouds of white owl and 'BRRRRMMMCHKCHK-FRKAFRKACHCKABRRRRMMM.' "
"He didn't fall on rough times. He WAS a rough time."
Just Too Stoked About the Sound System
"He cranked my dad's speakers up to the max and blew them (they were from the 70's so impossible to replace or repair). Then he clogged our toilet, grabbed a bunch of grandma's quilts to sop up the water. He then tried to stop the water by violently shaking the tank, cracking the bowl and dislodging it from its base."
"In a panic he tried to bolt from the house, his wet feet slipped on the wood floor and he crashed into a wall leaving a nice body-sized impression."
"That's how my brother's friends was barred from the house."
Territorial About Eggs
"A guest took a dozen eggs from my pantry and cooked it and served it to her kid after refusing to allow the kid to eat a dish I cooked for them."
Bait and Switch
"Nothing compared to the other stories, but a mutual friend came to my place, and brought his roughly used PS4 controllers so we all could play together. When he left, he left his shitty controllers and took my good ones. He is a lawyer now. Go figure eh?"
"Not me but my brother's partner requires that he go buy the ingredients for breakfast fresh every morning before he wakes up. As in if he wants bacon and eggs, my brother needs to go buy fresh bacon and eggs from the store before he wakes up, then come home and cook them (again, preferably before he wakes up)."
So if you have any plans to crash at a friend's this summer--don't do any of these things, please.
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The finite nature of a hotel stay can lead guests to behave in ways they wouldn't normally. And where there is saucy behavior, there are the artifacts left behind.
And who is there to pick up those pieces on the following morning? The hotel staff--cleaners, maintenance people, technicians, even managers when things get unruly enough.
Some Redditors who've occupied those positions recently shared the wildest things ever left behind by guests.
Some were gross, some exciting, and some just downright puzzling.
MichaelJCaboose_ asked, "Hotel cleaners of Reddit, what's your most memorable find left behind by a guest?"
Many people chose to share the times they came upon the disgusting remnants of an uninhibited night before. The guests responsible left a collage of artifacts that looked more like a still-life picture of hedonism than a living quarters.
"Three empty bottles of wine, about two dozen cherry pits scattered all over the floor and under the furniture, and red-colored puke all over the bedspread."
"There was only one guy staying in the room."
The Consequences of Fame
"Found a human poo in the kettle once. Worse part was it was a 'celebrity' (crappy uk reality show) doing a guest appearance at a local club."
"Him and his mates filled the rooms iPad with di** pics too. Hotel got rid of the iPads shortly after that."
Taking it Literally
"By the tub: empty gallon JUGS of milk next to empty CONTAINERS of Quaker Oats."
"Ma'am that is not how you have an oatmeal bath."
"If it matters, it was whole milk."
Of Another Species
"Not me, but my best friend works in house keeping at a hotel chain. I've heard some nightmare stories, but there are two that really stand out. The first was after a furry convention came through town, and there was an absurd amount of sex toys left behind. It's pretty common to come across them from time to time, but this almost had to be purposeful."
"The second was a massive unflushable sh**. She refused to dispose of it, and left the task to her manager. She described it as inhuman, and the size of a football. It took a spatula and a knife from their kitchen to make it manageable enough to flush."
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
No Closet Is Too Nice
"Friend worked a 5-star hotel and found a turd in the closet." -- Boganvillia
"That's not a very nice thing to call your guest, but as someone that worked in customer service, I agree. They are turds." -- theassassintherapist
"Closet poopers are what happens to shy poopers if they don't face their poop anxiety." -- Stunning_Honeydew201
OTC Drug Use
"Packets and packets of ibuprofen. Just everywhere - bottles too. It was football players staying there."
"I do maintenance. Had a group of part time housekeepers that are mentally handicapped working with their job coach go into a suite with adjoining door. There were 3 construction workers staying, 2 and their supervisor."
"In the one side with a pull out couch and DVD player, they found a full size blow up doll, empty small bottles of lube, used condoms, several beer bottles, and a stack of porn on DVD. Doll was on the pull out couch and everything else was all over the bed."
Other former cleaners described the times they came to a vacant room to find some very unexpected objects. These weren't as gross as the previous examples.
But the mysteries of what exactly the guests did with these items are still unsolved.
Steer Clear of Gadgets
"Almost tazed myself with a 'tube of lipstick' that I found under the bed." -- Naprisun
"insert lipstick taser gif here" -- georgiomoorlord
"so nobody's talking about this person using hotel bed lipstick" -- ST4R3
"Wasn't the cleaner, was overnight manager. The morning shift housekeeper called me to a room that had a live diamondback rattlesnake in it. We were located downtown, no way it just came in from outside."
"Found out a week later the guest was part of that snake handler church."
Back on the Road
"My friend's family owns a motel. He tells me they once found an auto transmission in the bathtub of a room." -- smorkoid
"Yup, I've heard of this before. You go to the town on a bachelor party, take a pill and then wake up and your transmission is in the bathtub full of ice and 3rd gear was removed" -- cavegoatlove
Making it Cozy
"I worked as a hotel cleaner during undergrad."
"My first day of work someone left a hatchet in the bathtub."
"Also, someone completely decorated the room with framed family pictures.. and left them all there. I think their stay was only 2 days. They set some up on the furniture.. but also legit hung some on the walls."
Finally, some people shared about the times they were pleasantly surprised to find that guests left behind some really nice stuff.
And, of course, finders keepers was in full swing.
"I worked for a hotel that had cabins, so I would be in and out all day in the hot sun. On one of those hot days I opened the fridge to find an unopened bottle of Dr. Pepper in the freezer part.. it was perfectly slushed."
"It made my day. This was years ago, too!"
As If They Knew
"A whole box of magnum ice creams. My fave!" -- nightcana
"If this was in Melbourne, you're welcome. I bought them but got invited out. Checked out the next day and left them in the freezer and I couldn't stand the thought of putting them in the bin." -- hemansteve
"My partner gets apartments ready for the next people renting them out after leases are up, they've found so, so many bdsm toys. One of which (a flogger) is my cats favorite toy over all others now including her very expensive cat toys hahaha"
"My girlfriend worked the front desk at a hotel where snoop Dogg stayed."
"He left his drawers and white tees. Snoop also left a bunch of Tic Tacs."
"But the best thing he left was a plastic Tupperware bowl over the smoke detector."
It's a fun idea to think back on all your hotel stays and recall anything you've left behind over the years.
And then, depending on what exactly it was, you can imagine what the other side of that story turned out to be.
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Its that time of year again. Time to get scared and get spooky. Covid be damned, we can still find ways to enjoy Halloween. One of the staples of this time of festivity is Haunted Houses. In any given non-pandemic year they'd be everywhere. Over the last few decades the planning and launching of a House of Horrors has become an art form. In fact there are houses you have to sign waivers for in order to enter. So has to make one wonder, what sort of tales do the actors and people behind the scenes have to tell. They've seen it all.Redditor u/thotthebot wanted to hear from the thespians who partake in creating spooks for the masses by asking them to chat about.... Haunted house workers, what is something that a guest had said or done that made you break character?
"Oh, HELL No!"be quiet the walking dead GIFGiphy
I was an actor at a haunted house years ago. We had separate rooms connected by hallways for guests to walk through (like, there was a murder room, a haunted house room, a circus themed room, and a zombie room). I worked in the zombie room, and played a zombie.
The room was made up to look like a living room of a house that had been broken into by zombies-- furniture toppled over, lamps laying on the floor, the door hanging off the hinges, a broken window, blood everywhere, and a half-eaten body lying on the floor. I was to be hunched over the dead body, pretending to munch on it when the guests walked in. And I'll say, our make-up crew was skilled. I looked like something from The Walking Dead.
Well, this dude walks into my zombie room, he sees me hunched over the dead body, and I did this creepy thing where I slowly look up at him and stare with my mouth hanging open. He goes "Oh, HELL No!" and stumbled backwards onto the couch, tried to scramble off the couch, only to trip over the lamp that was on the floor, and wound up falling facedown on the floor.
I have to admit, I broke character and laughed. I couldn't help it.
"well I guess we don't go"
One night this couple comes in with a 3-4 year old girl. She is throwing a huge fit, kicking, screaming, crying, the whole 9 yards, she doesn't wanna go in.
Now, a logical human being would see this and say, "well I guess we don't go" but not these two idiots. They keep trying to force little girl to go through the house, but she won't budge. This is causing a bit of a scene as well as backing up the line. Myself and one or two other monsters tell them "look, you gotta either get her to go in, or you gotta leave, you're holding up the line" but they are adamant that she has to go through and she is not having it.
Now were pissed off because, why the hell are you trying to make this small child go through when she is obviously terrified and scared out of her freaking mind? We realize something has to happen, so we seek out one of the girls from further down the house who was a witch we called Baba Yaga since she was the most human looking of us. We told her the situation and asked if shed help walk the girl through the house, and she agreed.
So we bring Baba to the little girl, and she goes into this cartoonish Russian accent "HellO leetle gorrl, I am Baba Yaga the gOod weetch! I am going to heyalp you scare all the mon-stors awaY!" She takes the little girls hand and off they go. We run off through the house spreading the word, "If you see Baba with a little girl, let the little girl scare you". Sure enough, whenever they got to where one of the monsters was hiding, the little girl would yell "BOO!" and whoever was there would lose their marbles. Screaming, running around in circles, falling all over the place.
Sometimes there'd be more than one monster and they'd run into each other like the Three Stooges, all to the delight of the little girl, who was now giggling and jumping up and down, clapping her little hands, it was adorable. The adults that were with her look annoyed, but f**k them, the rest of the group that got lumped in with them were having a great time as well watching this tiny child scare the mean ugly monsters away.
I've never seen an entire house break character like that, but it was fun to be a part of.
So I was stationed in a small room just off to the side of a long hallway with a strobe light at the end. It made it hard for guests to see down towards me, but very easy for me to see them. So one evening a group of a five teens come through; four girls with one guy leading them.
Just as they enter the hall, the guy turns around to talk with them. Having just been handed a golden ticket here, I sneak up right behind this guy. The girls all go stone silent and when the dude realizes they're looking at something beyond him, he turns around and finds me standing within inches of his face.
I give out the most guttural scream I can, and in response, the guy LEAPS backwards and knocks down all four girls behind him like they were bowling pins, leaving them all a tangled pile on the floor.
I literally could not hold it together. I had to run off into a staff only area because I was laughing so hard and could not stop. Easily one of my favorite memories from that place.
".... That's.....awful."wtf GIFGiphy
As a haunted house customer...
My Type 1 diabetic girlfriend and I were waiting to enter and begin the actual house. This was after the line to get in and the holding area for parties to be able to go together. There was this big demon tree thing that had an actor actually talking to us.
"Tell me, mortals. What do you think your souls taste like?"
I looked to my girlfriend. Just a sheepish grin and a shrug. Then I chime in and respond
"Well, I don't know about me, but her soul would be pretty sweet because she has diabetes."
Still one of our favorite memories but that whole evening was just lovely and pleasant.
"is he real?"
Used to work in one years ago. I worked the crowd - but mainly by standing at the entrance in a coffin that was fitted with an undertaker. I walked in the undertaker's feet but my upper half was in the coffin. One night I was standing there. Bone still. I did my own makeup and frankly it was good. Made me look "fake".
I'm standing there completely silent and still. Some German woman; drunk (because you can smell the beer on her) goes "is he real?" Cue me to kick the back of the coffin as a jump scare. She then proceeds to back hand me across the face.
She did not get to go through the haunted house and was not refunded her money.
I said "I'm gonna skin you b***h!"
She replied, "no you're the skinny b***h!"
I broke character and told her what I really said.
Maaan, I was there to scare not body shame.
I (M) was playing a grim reaper statue that comes to life and lowers my (fake) scyth blade in front of guests from behind. This college age girl walks up to me and, convinced I was just a statue or a prop, grabs my parts to prove to her friends it was safe. I looked at her slowly and asked "So do you take me to dinner now or..." that was the best scream we got all night.
In the Hay...season 1 hay GIF by OutlanderGiphy
Worked a haunted trail/hayride when I was younger. When we see someone clearly not into it we'd ask if they were okay and if not we had a codeword we'd pass down the line to let them just go through. Not sure if others worked like this though.
Not a worker, but as a customer, my sister and I once took a wrong turn in the haunted house. We were cornered by a dude in a hockey mask who was revving his chainsaw as he approached and we were screaming in terror...
Then he took his mask off and said in exasperation, "guys you're not supposed to be back here." Then he shooed us back into the main hallway. Lol
The Autopsy....season 1 GIF by Twin Peaks on ShowtimeGiphy
Not a worker, but I got to witness it. The worker was dressed as a crazy doctor.
We enter the room, and the worker says "Are you ready for you autopsy?" in a really creepy voice. My friend responds "...Yes?" The worker's face just changed from menacing to complete confusion, then she dropped the act and asked "Do you know what an autopsy is?" My friend did not know, so we had to explain it to her.
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Opening your home to loved ones and friends for a time is always the generous, right thing to do, especially when people are in particular need. But that charity needs to come with some rules and responsibility. When people start to get crazy, it's time for people to go. Your home is not an insane asylum and you are not a doormat. Rude is rude. And you don't need that mess.
Redditor u/lickmyfeet14 wanted to hear about some bad behavior among home invaders that were originally invited by asking.... What was the rudest thing a visitor did in your house?
My MIL likes to volunteer to show new guests around during big events like birthdays or Christmas.
And without fail she will find the worst part of my home, usually whatever room has a closed door that's out of the way, and will make them stand in there and have a conversation. You know; the bedroom that's a mess because you threw everything in it. The back room of the basement past the laundry room used for disorganized storage.
It only took 8 years for my husband to catch on that yeah, it happens every time.
It's not the worst she's done but it is the most head-scratchingly petty. Ladyughsalot1
Weed on White.
A friend of mine brought his trashy girlfriend over and she pulls out a weed pipe and takes a hit and then turns the pipe over and smacks the ash out onto my new white carpet. I asked them both to leave and never saw her again. ElvenDeGeneres
Lived in a house with 2 people at uni a couple of years ago (didn't know them before I moved in with them). One of them invited 2 of her friends to come and stay with us. Went to go and use our shared bathroom and there were about 3 used sanitary pads casually left open draped on our sink, despite the fact that we had a bin in the bathroom for them. Cleaned it up once and went back in the next morning and there were more. Never been so disgusted in my life. jacksonliz7991jacksonliz7991
Out of Towners...
They were housesitting for my family while we were out of town. We let them stay at our house and sleep in my parent's room.
When we returned home, our house was a disaster. The kitchen was filthy, and their daughter's toys were scattered all over the house. One of their few tasks was to water our plants. They were all dead when we came home.
Worst of all, they were told not to come into my room, where I have a valuable collection of old toys. Of course, they let their daughter into my room and play with them. Some stuff was damaged.
That was the last time we let them watch the house. Next time we went out of town a good friend of mine was given the job instead. She did a much better job. Star_glow
We're not friends anymore.Giphy
Peed in my cat's litter box at a party we had. Turned the whole box into one solid chunk. It was a friend of mine actually. He was really drunk but I'm sure he did it on purpose. Didn't notice either until our cats pooped or peed elsewhere in the house. We're not friends anymore. Boardallday
No Good Deed.
A friend of my dad lost his house, and we had a former B&B so we invited them to stay with us. We housed and fed them for weeks while the found another place. For that, we got roaches, criticisms of our food (my dad was the executive chef at a freaking country club and was a damned fine cook), but that wasn't the worst for me, then in my late teens.
The day they left, I went to play my favorite game on PlayStation: Sled Storm. Couldn't find it. Over turned freaking everything, but I couldn't find it. In searching, I noticed something even worse. My SNES, all games, and half my N64 games were missing in addition to Sled Storm. They had stayed with us as a favor and stolen half my shit that I had paid for with birthday money saved up over years. Forget those people. fghth6
Had a friend who had horribly stanky athelete's foot feet from using the showers at the dorms without shower shoes. All of the skin on his soles and between his toes was gone. His feet were raw, red and shiny with new, thin skin. I invited him over to watch movies. It was me and like 5 other guys. We watched horror movies, drank beers and ate snacks. At some point, he took his shoes off. None of us said anything, but the smell permeated the entire five room apartment (living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, bathroom and laundry room) within mere minutes.
It was very quiet. We gave the couch to him completely by himself. No great loss, the thing was from the 70's and that old scratchy Herculon fabric (important point). Around 2AM my girlfriend showed up and ordered my friend to put his shoes back on. The smell was in the house two days later. I sniffed around after two days of airing out and Febreze and candles did nothing. I smelled the couch cushions. He had rubbed his feet into the fabric of at least two cushions. I guess the scratchy fabric felt really awesome on his feet that were on fire with the itch. notoneofyourfans
Y'all Stupid or Crazy?!
My sister's friends went into the back of my apartment while i was throwing a party there and as they went i saw them get some tin foil out. I live in a druggie area and know exactly what that means so I marched right after them and told them that that's not happening under my roof or anywhere in the apartment block (there's only 4 in my building and a family with kids lives downstairs). They understood but left shortly after all butthurt. It is insane to me that they thought I would just be ok with them smoking meth INDOORS in my apartment. Without asking as well! mister_thang
Every. Single. Time.Giphy
I used to have band practice once a week at my house. And every week the lead singer would clog the toilet. Every. Single. Time. Gumbybum
Came to visit for a few days with her infant and placenta. The placenta was wrapped in butcher paper, but nothing waterproof and was half thawed from a long car drive. She put it in my freezer where it oozed all over my food. ductoid
A guy we didn't know very well, a friend of a friend, came over to our house for dinner one night. He got quite drunk, despite not knowing him very well we offered that he stay the night at our place instead of driving home drunk. He refused, drove drunk and crashed his car. Then he tried to sue us for letting him drive home drunk. The guy was an fool. wefedfd
This kids who was a friend at the time came over for a birthday party. We were around 13 and he ate a strawberry, except the top of it.
Then he SMUSHED it into our white carpet and left it there. We were watching, like he just did it like it was a normal act.
My parents still call him strawberry boy. KatrinaGazette
My brother's girlfriend had made a Xmas wreath for my home. When she arrived she took the wreath I had on my door and threw it down the hallway and put one up that she had made (which was seriously ugly by the way) My jaw dropped I seriously could not believe she threw MY wreath down the hallway right in front of me! The following day I threw HER wreath in the garbage. Walk-with-a-cane
I don't remember who the guy was because it happened when I was a kid but there was this guy who was in his early 20s, he was in the kitchen with one of the kitchen knifes and just throwing it into the floor so it would get stuck and pulling it out and doing it again. UhhYawn
My grandfather's cousin was staying with us a for a week; he has a bladder problem and would refuse to wear adult diapers! What followed was him leaving a trail of pee (sometimes poo), when he walked around the house... didn't take too long for my mother to ask his son to take him back home. queenjany
My son's girlfriend was having family problems and temporality lived with us. Son/GF were 17 at the time. She had no house manners whatsoever... she'd cook herself meals and leave food and dishes everywhere, expecting us to clean after her. Leave her dirty clothes and stuff all over the house. She once borrowed my car without asking. Got so tired of it we asked her to leave. Eyeletblack
My mom used to reorganize my kitchen cabinets whenever she would visit because she disagreed with my organizational system. Thedaythemusicdied37
My mom does this with our household. She'll come over, remark that the house needs to be cleaned a bit and she'll just start cleaning. It's such an degrading experience. And it's not like my house is disgusting. If we've hovered the day before she'll remark that it's probably been a long time since we've done that and get the hoover out. She doesn't listen when I ask her to stop so we've stopped inviting her over as much in order to avoid the stress. Just_Me_2218
That booze was MINE!
Drank all of my booze without asking my permission. These were guests of my roommates, and I was already asleep at the time because I basically had 14-hour days for a job I hated at the time (10 hour shift + 2 hour commute each way), and was still broke as crap. That booze was MINE, and those fools drank it all like they owned the damn place. Never even offered to replace it, either. PianoManGidley
My 3rd grade "friend" tried to set my shower curtains on fire for no reason. dummyplant