Redditor SpeedyMammoth wanted to discuss why love has been kept from so many, so they asked:
"What’s stopping you from being with the person you love?"
Sometimes... it's just not meant to be.
One Sided
Love Me Do Not Want GIF by MOODMANGiphy"The feelings are not mutual."
MrTumnus__
"Same. Been 5 years. Hurts much less but a lingering pain is always there. Especially since I've not been able to find love since."
NouveauQubecois
Happy 4 U
"Thought I met my soulmate actually. We met in college and were friends for three years. Always thought he might have a crush on me but he was in a really bad relationship and I would have never gotten involved. Then they broke up, we started hanging out more and things just felt right."
"When we did start dating, it was incredible! No relationship is perfect but I’d never been so happy and in love. First time a man has looked me in the eyes and said 'I can’t wait to marry you' and honestly I still think about that some times. Anyways, he cheated on me with his ex, got back with her and then they broke up after a week or so."
"A couple of his friends left him because he just changed into a really shi**y guy and I’m actually still friends with some of them myself. Now he’s doing what he loves and I’m happy for him! I just wish things had worked out, almost two years later and I’m still struggling not to think of him every day. I really hope I can get over him and find my own happiness again."
sadsporkyy
Closed
"She wanted us to be open. I wanted us to be exclusive. I was deeply in love with her and I really miss her. I ended up breaking up with her. Aside from that one incompatibility, I think we were a near-perfect fit. We had a wonderful relationship and it ended amicably, but it’s really hard to let go of someone you genuinely love when your relationship didn’t really have any problems. It took all the willpower I had to go through with it, and it was very painful."
CaptainTripper
Life pro tip...
"She’s with someone else."
MrOuija313
"We’re both with someone else and there are kids in the picture."
"Life pro tip: the person you are the most compatible with in your teens or twenties is not necessarily someone you will always be compatible with as you get older, especially once you both realize what it means to take care of kids all day every day."
persistentporpoise
Gone
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"She died."
OrigamiApple
"Me too bro. Sorry for your loss. Sorry for all our losses."
Ba_Dum_Ba_Dum
"Same. I've tried again over the years. It's not the same. I'm sorry for your loss."
exactoctopus
Loss is always the one of the number one reasons.
Taylor Knows
Looking Around Music Video GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy"Me. I am the problem."
hiyesgood
"I have a lot of trauma to deal with and I’m still trying to figure out who I am as a person. I didn’t think it was fair for him to ride along until I get to a point where I was mentally healthy. Could be months. Could be years. Thankfully I’ve been in therapy for 8 months now while changing my lifestyle. I don’t expect him to wait for me so I do my best to not reach out."
hiyesgood
In Time
"Bad timing. But we always find one another. Hopefully we get together before I'm too old to enjoy it."
moffettusprime
"Exactly this. She was my first and we were too young. It never worked out for us because of bad timing. Somehow I will always have this lingering hope that we will end up together. Even though I recently met a girl I am crazy in love with and this feeling has pretty much disappeared to the background."
GreenLurch
Issues
"She doesn't want to be with me. Part of it is her trauma, part of it is my trauma. Our traumas don't play well together. Her instinct is to avoid intimacy, my instinct is to seek it out. Really shi**y. I already have clinical depression, loneliness, and insomnia. What's your reasoning for breaking up? She's got an avoidant attachment style so when we got too intimate, she would pull away. I sought reassurance, got too needy, and pushed her away."
SomeDudeinCO3
What's to Be...
"Some people aren't meant to be loved, but you can't help it if you fall in love with them."
ForwardMountain2808
"You absolutely can help it if you fall in love with someone not 'meant to be loved.'"
"Boundaries, confidence, and self-respect will help you fall out of love with anyone that doesn’t want to be with you."
"Have a cry. Hit the bottle for a weekend. Then compose yourself and saddle the F up. There’s a whole world of people out there - good people - and you get one chance at this spinning rock."
"Don’t you rob the world of your love and don’t rob yourself of the experience of receiving love just because it didn’t happen with the person you thought it should."
HamburgerJames
Be Strong
Screaming Season 4 GIF by Broad CityGiphy"Fear of rejection, I don't know if she is even willing to have ANY relationship at all."
Meme_Lord_E
Love is a battlefield, as they say, so keep your armor and wits about you when you fall... and maybe you'll be caught off guard in the best of ways.
Yes to all of these, but especially that last one.
Saving.
Getting in a habit of exercising.
Eating right.
Forcing myself to be less lazy / more active.
Not caring what others think.
Once again for the people in the back.
GiphyNot caring what people thought of me as much.
Hey want a tip? Notice how you only think about the things YOU do. Do I look weird, did I say a bad joke, are they thinking about me etc... all that time spent unnecessarily caring, well it's all about you. And how often do you think like that about other people? Very rarely. And even if someone else does something embarrassing, you don't even give a sh*t, you're just glad it wasn't you.
Well likewise, everyone else is thinking the same thing. They're not thinking of the goofy embarrassing thing you did, They're thinking about themselves. And even if you did do something embarrassing, they don't really give a sh*t, They're just focused on themselves.
All that goes on in your head that - like "are these people judging me" type of thing. Well everyone else is thinking the same thing about themselves. Just like how you aren't caught up about that embarrassing thing Sally did 2 years ago, neither is Sally caught up about that embarrassing thing you did 2 years ago.
So when you're thinking. "Omg that person's looking at me do I look normal" - well that person is usually thinking the exact same thing about themselves.
Yes!!!
Start giving myself more credit, always thought being self critical made me work harder. It just made me miserable.
Me right now. It got me through college, but is making me feel so incredibly burnt out at work.
Mood.
Working out, if I am being honest.
I still haven't started but wish I did sooner.
Truth.
GiphyGiving a sh*t about my 401k.
Now is a great time to start caring given the state of our economy.
Thank you.
I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but if my words can help just one person I'll be satisfied.
A lot of people keep saying how they wish they cared less about what people thought about them, but this kind of thing doesn't just come out of nowhere. You can't just will into existence the "not caring" thing.
A lot of people are missing the driving force behind not giving much credence to what people say about you, it's a symptom of something much deeper; they are missing a certain level of "love" for themselves.
For example, if you spend most of your life being insecure about how weird your personality is , you aren't really comfortable in your own skin, are you? As a result, self esteem issues arise and you start to seek validation from external sources (ie those around you) because you aren't getting it from you. You need to learn how to love yourself first and foremost, and then auxiliary issues such as social anxiety, insecurity, and how important other's opinions of you are kind of just sort themselves out.
Everyone moves at their own pace.
Let down my guard enough to even begin a romantic relationship. The responsibility was too frightening.
I understand the feel, 28 and only ever been in a relationship once. It is hard but small steps are better than no steps.
Definitely take care of your teeth.
GiphyTaking better care of my teeth.
I really regret not taking dental health seriously because now I have two broken molars and other problems with my teeth that will probably end up costing me a lot of money to fix.
Important.
Putting my goals and happiness above what my family expected/wanted of my life. It took me 25 miserable years to realize that what my family wanted my life to be was dramatically different from what I really wanted and needed to be happy.
It's important to understand what you want from life and to go for that even if its not what your family wants for you. If your family loves you they'll support you regardless. If they choose not to support you, fine.
Fill your life with people who love you and support your happiness/wellness. It might be hard to let go of toxic familial expectations, but its always worth it.
A helpful switch.
This isn't very deep but using a prescription strength antiperspirant. I stuck to black or white shirts til my mid 20s because of my sweat problem.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Never too late.
GiphyPlaying guitar, started taking lessons at 17 and now work at music full time (producing, writing, playing in a band, teaching) would've like to start earlier so I'd had now more experience.
Totally.
Telling others how I feel and trying to help them understand instead of just pushing them away. And having deep conversations with myself and about what I want and teaching myself how to be emotionally independent.
Always eat your veggies.
Eating vegetables and more food in general.
I had been an extremely picky eater until I was around 14 and I had honestly been missing out on soooo much good food. Now I'll basically eat anything and have to try and not to eat too much tbh.
If there are any parents dealing with a picky child, I'll say my experience in case it helps.
I was honestly the pickiest eater ever but in 2016, my family and I went on holiday to another country for holiday. It was there in a restaurant, where I didn't like the main dish very much and due to the lack of choice, I ended up trying the vegetables and basically fell in love with them. So I'd say the advice is to get them to try new things starting from when they're really young. My parents had work so never had enough time to give me loads of new food. So I rly do recommend letting them try new things.
Those videos are cool.
GiphyTaking a picture of me every day so I could make a cool video that shows how my appearance changes.
Every few months I wish I would have started years ago or at least the last time I thought about it, but then I think that it is to late now. It repeats.
Relatable.
Being aware of my own health conditions
I'd always been a mouth breather. Didn't think much of it until I did a video tour of my house and heard my breathing. Turns out I had a bent nasal canal. If I realised or someone said something sooner. Maybe I could've got surgery and wouldn't have gotten so out of breath as a kid and might be fitter now.
Not to mention a host of other health concerns I had for years but didn't notice until I was living by myself/with partner.