Redditor vjts87 wanted to hear about what everyone feels they deserve to brag about, so they asked:
"What’s the weirdest flex you have?"
I brag about nothing.
Except that I can sing word for word every Whitney song.
The Win
Tired At Home GIF by IKEA USAGiphy"I work the overnight shift and still get eight hours of uninterrupted quality sleep every day."
ITookAPooInTheICU
“Love Shack”
"I’ve been booed by 10,000 people at once. I know athletes and celebrities have been booed by more people, but I’m neither. I was randomly picked out of the crowd at an NBA game to attempt a 3-point shot, to win everyone a free pizza. I bricked it."
Shonuff8
"At least you had a task that only lasted like maybe 10 seconds."
"I was at a radio concert in a venue that size with 6 big acts on the bill. In between acts, they had fans do karaoke. A mother-daughter team got tasked with 'Love Shack' and sh*t the bed hard. One of the DJs told the crowd to give them a round of applause and they got hit by a massive wave of boos."
patrickwithtraffic
Gross
"I got picked up in a white van as a child by a stranger to get a lift to somewhere 5 mins away, I was in the back off the van for half an hour, then they opened the door at the place I was trying to go. To this day I'm not sure but I think he changed his mind. The guy seemed nice enough at the time but, it was just such a strange experience to think back on, I was about 12ish I think at the time too so definitely old enough to have known better."
WhatAmI111WhatAmI111
Genius
Hungry Labor Day GIF by BounceGiphy"I can always pick the exact right size container to put leftovers in."
Money_Pomegranate_51
Knowing how to portion leftovers is a MIRACLE gift.
The Gift
Giphy"I can get rid of hiccups on demand. Like without fail if I have hiccups I can just think about it and they go."
DoIReallyNeedAnAcc
Trauma
"A tree fell on me in 2021 and broke all my ribs, my spine, and popped both my lungs. I dragged myself out and survived long enough slowly drowning in my own blood (and internally bleeding out) to be found and get airlifted to a trauma ward. So I got almost as much metal grafted to my bones as wolverine though I don't flex much because I got so much metal making me rather stiff and rigid."
Setantaoceillaigh
Kevin! Come back!
"I had to take an IQ test when I was being evaluated for ADHD and apparently I am in the 99th percentile in spatial reasoning. I can’t do math or talk good but I can pack the hell out of a suitcase!"
yekirati
"This is actually an amazing skill to have! One of my old cooks was the same way. Quiet kid, very bright but not cut out for the restaurant industry. He loved being on prep for EXACTLY this reason. The fridge was never as organized, cleaned, labeled, dated, rotated and stocked properly unless it was he or I or one other person. I miss you Kevin! Come back!"
subtxtcan40
"I survived 9 heart attacks, before I turned 40. Have 4 stints following 3 angiograms and 1 open heart surgery with vein transfer... that failed... been in heart failure status for a year. But honestly I am healthier than I was a year ago. A year ago couldn't walk half a mile. Now can walk 3 miles without issue. Even survived covid this year after 2 years of isolating."
BadGenesWoman
Savior
Blood Donation GIF by Santander Brasil OficialGiphy"I have donated over 15 gallons of blood!"
DonkeymanPicklebutt
"As someone whose life has been saved due to a blood donation: THANK YOU! I love you and hope others will take after your example."
Friendly_Chemical
Life is always full of flex. Embrace it.
Do you have anything to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor e2hawkeye wanted to hear people's stories about purposefully bad gifts, and asked:
"What was the most passive aggressive gift you ever got for Christmas?"
Saving A Marriage
"My step-dad got my mom Poo-Pourri last year for Christmas. She was pissed lol"
- MrMet25134
"Poo-pourri saved my marriage. I was about to divorce his ass."
- [Reddit]
What's In The Box?
"My girlfriend's decapitated head in a box."
"My brother likes jokes, and homages, and movies; particularly thrillers from the mid 90s. And he adores David Fincher..."
"However he took that one a bit far with his 'homage' the the end of Seven. I've only just forgiven him."
"It was a long 2 weeks of semi-aggressive communication and slights."
- ProgressingSlowly
Not Missing Out On A Good Deal
"My dad said he got grave plots for my sister and I."
"It wasn't the only thing, but he said he got them cheap and didn't want to pass them up 😂"
- ThatFinnishGu
A Potato Legend
"When I was 9 and my brother was 7 we got potatoes for Xmas. (Coal was clearly too hard.)"
"We have that year on video and I’m clearly devastated."
"My little bro was a legend, tho. He states ‘I’m going to have it for breakfast.’ "
"We have a photo of him that year proudly eating his potato for Xmas. He made my mum cook it."
- Lozzif
Oh, Lord
"Lord of the rings films on DVD usually came out to buy around my birthday."
"I wasn't into it, but my Dad was."
"He got it for me several years in a row and then promptly put it on his shelf to watch whenever he wanted."
"When I moved out, I made a point to take them with me since they 'were mine' and he was furious. Yes, the petty revenge was delicious."
- JustJenR
A Gift For Himself
"When I was thirteen my dad told me got me a Christmas present."
"I was soooooo excited! I grew up in a traditional family where my mom did most of the cooking, cleaning, Christmas shopping etc."
"My dad did not normally purchase our Christmas gifts although he paid for them. My mom was always the one that did the majority of the shopping and preparing for Christmas and my dad worked as a full time electrical engineer."
"So I genuinely was excited to see what he picked out for me when Christmas Day came. It was a Sally Fields cookie cookbook."
"I didn’t love baking. My much awaited gift was actually just a nudge to make my dad some homemade cookies."
"I laugh at it now but it was a bit of a disappointment."
- Kylielou2
A Game For A Gamer
"I am 24 and a casual gamer. It's one of my favorite hobbies, though I have many hobbies."
"Anyway my Stepmother always hated it and my Dad who used to love gaming had given it up all together in some facade to appeal to her."
"Last Christmas I received a family game that resembled Kerplunk but with noodles... for Ages 3-7."
"I got her a £50 necklace because my Dad advised strongly for it."
- [Reddit]
Sabotage Chocolates
"My husbands foster mother was really vain, always talking about how small her waistline was— she claimed it was 21” and how at 45 years old she could still put on her wedding dress."
"Unfortunately for me, I had a lot of stress in my life, and at 18 years old I was 8 months pregnant and really hadn’t gained much weight. Looking back at pictures I realize I was really underweight."
"So she buys from the Walmart store this gigantic box of chocolate— the cheap stuff, it literally was 2’x3’."
"I don’t think she knew this but I have a chocolate allergy so the gift was useless. But I always thought this was a sabotage gift to protect her self-image."
- sandee4872
Getting Their Goat
"My parents split up when I was 10."
"My father was majorly depressive and abusive. My mum struggled after the separation and we were pinching pennies just to get by."
"He even refused to pay the $13/fortnight of child support for 3 kids - which didn’t even cover bus fares for 2 days."
"After the divorce had finally settled, a year or two later, my brothers and I received Christmas cards in the mail from his parents. They were those cards donating a goat to a third world country..."
- Shakierag
Dear Diary
"A diary 'to write down my thoughts so I dont talk so much' "
- realdappermuis
Ho ho ho
"My wife gave a very passive/aggressive gift to her brother's girlfriend one year for xmas. It wasn't actually the gift itself, it was the wrapping paper.
You see, this girlfriend was the woman who cheated with him on his wife, causing the marriage to fail and the the family to be split up. As you might imagine, my wife didn't care much for this woman. So, a gift was purchased and wrapped in Xmas paper. The paper had 'Ho Ho Ho' written all over it. Basically, just white paper with Ho Ho Ho.
Everyone got it. New Years was not fun."
You can't fall off of a video game, just sayin'
"When I was a kid I played a lot of video games and my dad gave me a skateboard in hopes I would go out more often.
Eventually that worked, but with a mountain bike"
Backpacks are just more practical
"For whatever reason, it drives my boyfriend's mother and aunts bonkers that I use a backpack instead of carrying around a purse a lot of the time (like for going to/from work or just general travels). Every year, someone from that little family group always thinks they're doing me a favor by getting me a purse. They're also not even that great of quality (like it's that cheap pleather that scuffs and looks like crap after a week of use)."
I would boycott Christmas too
"Half a bar of chocolate , I got my sister the $100 in cash that she insisted on and she got me absolutely nothing at first , but she was shamed by everyone else at the party so she threw a half eaten bar of chocolate at me that she was eating and told me that this was my present.
This year I am not celebrating Christmas. Nobody gets any presents. It will be just an ordinary day for me."
What are you trying to say, mom?
"My mom's bought me a stationary bike and two scales. I feel like she's trying to tell me something"
This is why they don't visit
"I once had an entire sarcastic christmas where all my family members unanimously decided to get me gag gifts without telling each other. It wasn't a planned thing they just all got me insulting presents without realizing it. I ended up with EU de toilet cologne, a poo emoji stuffed animal (im 23) a shirt with a far right political cartoon insulting Bernie Sanders and a maga hat (im the only family liberal) and a candy cellphone in an iPhone box
Grandma: why don't you come visit?"
A gift only a mother in law would give
"My grandmother (dad's mother) once got my mom tablecloths for Christmas. My mom was not impressed"
At least you can make a ton of mashed potatoes...?
"My mom got my wife a 10 pound bag of potatoes.
When my wife asked literally 'what the heck', my mom said 'I worked the church food bank last weekend and I knew you were poor so I got you something to help out.'
Yeah.
Mom was something else."
GiphySpeaks for itself
"a t-shirt saying 'I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right'"
That backfired
"Cousin gave me a Spice Girls album hoping I wouldn't like it and would give it to her. 'You're a boy, you probably don't even know what Spice Girls is. If you don't like it, you should just give it to me.'
I listened to it so many times in spite if her that eventually all I really really really wanted was a zig-a zig-ahhhh."
That wasn't very subtle...
"My aunt gave me a box of 'Thank You' note cards.
On the gift tag, she wrote: 'You should try using these sometime.'"
'Santa' should mind his business!
"When I was in middle school, going through my tomboy phase, 'santa' gave me a book called How to Raise a Lady, and when I opened it my mom just looked at me and said 'Maybe Santa is trying to give a hint.'"
GiphySo who got the iPod?
"When I was younger I managed to somehow lose my retainer at a Denny's. We searched everywhere, including the dumpster for over 30 minutes... my parents were furious. Fast forward a month, and the new iPod is released, and I really want it. I tell my parents that is the only thing I want for Christmas.
Come Christmas time, we are opening gifts and I see one that matches the shape of the iPod box... and sure enough, after unwrapping it - it's the new iPod! I hop up and immediately hug both my parents and I'm jumping around in joy! I sit back down and begin to open the box, and inside this iPod box is a new retainer. No iPod"
Don't take your anger out on children
"All growing up my aunt always got me really nice clothing. I always got sweaters or sweatpants from American Eagle or Hollister which were very popular in my tween years. Then, she got mad at my mom for something and I started getting very juvenile presents including a children's robe with Hello Kitty on it that didn't fit, a plastic bracelet loom when I was 17, and a cork board in the shape of a flower."
At least you could donate them
"Pack of underwear from my mother in law 4 sizes too big. Smiled, thanked her, though that was the end. Told my husband I was going to donate them as they were too big. He told his mother and her reaction was, well she will eventually grow into them."
I bet they never forgot their anniversary again
"One year everyone forgot my grandparents' anniversary (it's sometime in October). That Christmas every family got a professional picture of my grandparents with their anniversary on a plaque on the frame."
Those are the worst gifts under any circumstances
"A bible and a pretty hair band.
I'm a lesbian. At the time I was very butch."
Thanks a bunch, dad.
"They've definitely come from my father, both times.
1st time, I had a bad looking beard, so he gave me a pack of razors and some shaving cream.
2nd time, I asked for a pretty large gift -- a laptop. Apparently he didn't like that. He gave me a watch. A watch that he was previously given as a gift but didn't want. A watch that didn't work."
I think you can sue your boss for this...
"I had a real bully of a boss that delighted in making me miserable, but I was broke and desperate for a job so I didn't have a lot of options. The bullying kept escalating so I stupidly went to HR (because this was before I realized HR is there to protect the company not the employee). I told them what she'd been doing and gave them as much evidence as I had and told them that she was creating a hostile environment and I was genuinely concerned for my mental health.
Nothing came of the HR meeting and apparently that comment got back to my boss. Christmas rolls around and at the company party the bosses would always give their employees some little something. My co-workers got gift certificates to get a massage. I got a little tin bank that says 'I'm saving up for some therapy.'"
Reddit user itsthedreamteam asked:
What's the most insulting gift you've ever received?
Some people take these insults with a grain of salt, or brush them off as being the other persons issue. But for others, these gifts really hit on insecurities and soft spots and so they found them really hurtful.
How people handle getting awful gifts varies, but one thing is pretty consistent - these gift givers are flagrant petty little monsters. So if you've got one in your life, take comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Here are some of the most insulting gifts people have gotten from their own personal monsters.
"Chubbier Than That"
My mom always buys me clothes, more specifically shirts from target or goodwill, for every gift, even though:
a) I tell her I have too many clothes, I've been trying to get rid of clothes, I don't want or need anymore clothes
b) she always buys me sizes XL and up even though I'm a comfortable S/M, and then when I tell her it's too big, she always says, shocked, "I thought it would fit" , and occasionally even add that she thought I was "chubbier than that"
Three Hats
I have alopecia, which is when your hair falls out in random patches on your body. It got to the point that I had to shave my hair because I had bald spots on the top of my head. Having a bald head as a little girl was tough. I opted out of wearing hats or a bandanna because I felt dumb covering it up when everyone could already tell I was bald.
My grandma though would always force me to wear hats when I came over to her house. She would ALWAYS say stuff like "Little girls aren't supposed to look like that, cover up." It hurt but I ignored it and put the hats on, I was super quiet as a kid and didn't make a fuss.
For my birthday my grandma bought me 3 different kinds of hats. I remember sitting there wanting to cry the whole time after opening her gift but I just sat there quiet. Honestly, those 3 hats ruined my entire 9th birthday, I felt so ugly.
A Decade Of Chickens
GiphyWhen I was in high school my mom got me a shirt that made fun of my ADD. It referenced chickens. There's this common joke that goes something like "People say I have ADD, but they just don't under- OH LOOK A CHICKEN!"
She then proceeded to buy chicken related things for the next few years and to this day points out anything related to chickens like it's some kind of inside joke.
It didn't really bother me at first but after nearly a decade now it honestly hurts my feelings.
- EndFace_
Oink
When I hadn't lost all my baby weight 6 months after child birth, my mother- in -law gave me a plastic pig magnet for the refrigerator. It oinked every time you opened the door.
Manners
My dad's third wife got me a book about manners. I used it to level her coffee table the same day. She re gifted it to me at least 5 other times, I found a way to put it back in her house every time.
Dark Body Hair
My divorced parents, independently, with no contact with each other, gave me a No-No (a hair removal device) and an offer for laser hair removal... without ever talking to me about my body hair before... and in front of everybody. 😐
I've been made fun of for my dark body hair all my life or dealt with people pointing out that I've 'missed a spot', so it especially was embarrassing when I never asked for either of those things.
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Be A "Better" Parent
My very religious ex mother in law gave me a book on better parenting through Christ.
A) I'm not at all religious and she knew it
B) It's rude and presumptuous to give someone a book on how to be a "better" parent.
How They Perceive Me
Size 4XL pants from my aunt. As a 170-pound teenage girl this crushed my spirit. I was only a size large but thought this was how they perceive how big I was...
She Meant Well
7 year old me was super in love with foxes. I made little clay models of fox families, had soft toys, drew pictures, etc.
My Yia Yia (grandma), knowing this, gave me a fox fur coat. It even had little fox tails hanging off it. Gracious little me thanked her with a trembling lip, then went home and sobbed. I remember hugging it as if I could bring it back to life but also being revolted by it. I handed it to mum and told her to burn it. Cried over that for days.
Yia Yia meant well, but man did the intention get corrupted somewhere. She bought me a plush toy fennec fox years later and kinda made up for it.
Embarrass And Insult
GiphyMy mom gave me an electronic toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash for my birthday - right in front of my long term girlfriend and family... knowing full well I'm self conscious about my teeth and I already own all those things.
Later, when I very politely asked her to, in the future, do things like that privately she cried about how hard it was for to do that. How hard it was for her to embarrass and insult me on my birthday.
I'm thinking of getting her a self help book entitled "Living with old age" next year.
Towels
Towels. While the gift itself doesn't sound bad the reasoning behind it was incredibly insulting. I was 17 years old at the time and a senior in high school. It was a Christmas gift from my step-mother. She gave me a set of towels and told me I would need them when I moved out at 18. The kicker was she gave her son (my step brother) a brand new computer for Christmas. This was in 1992 when personal computers started around $4000.
I was pretty salty about it.
No Words
When I graduated college, my parents gave me a card to congratulate me. Inside the envelope, my never-showed-any-real-interest-in-my-life father had included a fridge magnet (and this was not intended to be a joke)... the fridge magnet said:
"Life doesn't come with an instruction book, that's why we have fathers"
This was given to me shortly after he had stormed out of my graduation ceremony early, because apparently he 'doesn't have time for this'.
I had/still have no words for that 'gift'.
Women's Clothes
Women's clothes and other things, because I'm a trans man and they knew it.
I am too. I've gotten perfume, make up/feminine body washes and stuff, and clothes. I give them to my sister and end up with nothing or not much.
I'm Not Fat
My Gramma once gave me cut out magazine articles about losing weight when I was 14 or 15... I wasn't fat. Also, Gramma, doctors don't prescribe amphetamines anymore! (Or they didn't 25 years ago, maybe they do now, I don't know because I'M NOT FAT!)
Too Pretty
GiphyI started working evenings so my husband started having to make dinners. My MIL got me a magnet for the fridge that said "I'm too pretty to cook"
It's like cooking dinner is the only way a woman could possibly contribute to a household. And under no circumstances should this task fall on a man. Funny thing is my husband discovered that he truly loves cooking, it's not a chore but a passion.
The magnet was meant to be a jab. She has mastered the art of passive aggressiveness. I get lotions for Christmas that I'm allergic to. Unless I happen to also be pregnant. If I'm pregnant I get lotions I'm not allergic to. Mother's day cards that are simply signed " I know you try". Yeah, she can't stand me.
Thanks, Grandma
A book on how to apply makeup, and the best way to get dressed to look pretty, I'm not the best looking girl, and I got it from my mom and grandma, as like, a helpful book, and I felt insulted.
Happy 15th
Father who left when my mom got pregnant sent me $10 and a card that said happy 15th birthday for my 16th. I was trying to save cash for a car so I took it, but now that I'm a father I literally can't imagine doing such a thing to my kids.
Christmas In August
I received a CD that has children singing revamped Christmas songs where they change the lyrics. First of all, I hate the sound of children singing. Secondly, Christmas music sucks and everyone knows it. Finally, re-vamped songs where the lyrics have been changed are unartistic, unintelligent pieces of shit. Weird Al Yankovic is a great example of this.
My aunt bought this for me for my birthday. My birthday is in August. I still don't talk to her at family gatherings.
Just Pray
A bible, because I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm not religious but, still, I felt like it was a way of telling me that I wasn't actually depressed, I just needed to pray.
I was raised by Christian parents and stepparent, I used to pray but I still got worse. Not blaming anyone, I just felt as if it didn't work.
- BluuZ3
Geeky Girls
This may seem dumb, but it kinda hurt me. So my mom had gotten me this book 2 years ago for/by "Geeky Girls" thinking it was a graphic novel kind of story. She chose that because I can't read well (its true, i struggle). She was sort of right, but I wasn't all that interested in the book - but that's not why it was insulting.
Last year leading up to Christmas, I was talking non-stop about Homestuck and was really hoping I'd get something relating to it. Nope.
Instead, my mom got me the exact same book from the year before. Really hurt.
Free Samples
GiphyI have a self-made millionaire uncle who decided to give me free samples from his company as both my birthday and Christmas present since I was born close to the 25th of December. His company sells ingredients to bakeries like Nabisco, so what I got was dried cranberries and chocolate chips, and a shitty golfing shirt with his company's name on it. The same shirts he gave out at his last convention appearance.
Someone To Love You
After I lost a bunch of weight, my grandmother sent me a card saying how I was pretty now "since you lost all that weight" and how I'd be able to find someone to love me. She also ended the card with "Don't eat too much again!" I was turning 17. It was a birthday card.
Apparently, Happy Birthday wasn't enough.
- ard6612
A Shaming Moment
When I was a teen I grew really tall real fast, I outgrew my shirts and they became belly shirts. Being 12 I didn't have any money so my mom started commenting on how much I like to show my stomach off. I told her I just don't have any clothes that fit. She goes and buys large size sweaters and such, everything is too big. "Now you don't have to dress slutty."
WTF?
That logic never made sense to me. Everything I have is because you gave it to me. I hated that Christmas because when you're 12 -15, you're really insecure about everything and I hate that my mom turned a happy holiday into a shaming moment. She also gifted me a hairbrush when I told her mine broke 2 months prior.
She waited two months to replace an essential item so she could pass it off as a present. I had dreads in my hair that needed to be cut out because I wasn't able to brush my naturally curly hair. My mom is not very thoughtful. But I know she didn't mean to be so cruel.
Dirty And Fat
Last Christmas, my boyfriends family gave me an unwrapped bar of soap and the offer of a gym membership...
That's Not My Name
One relative always forgot how my name was spelled and bought me a misspelled personalized gift almost every single year.
Everybody In
When I was 15 and chubbier than my sister and mother (I was a size 8 compared to their 00 and 2) my grandma gave me a skirt she said she was sure would fit me. It did ... but it also fit my sister and my mom at the same time, and I'm sure if my dad was home, he could've stepped into it as well.
We Forgot
I took a year off of school after I graduated high school to stay home and make extra money, my parents bought me pots, pans, and Tupperware, and then said "We forgot you weren't going to school, but at least we can use them."
Curious
GiphyI was 8 years old hanging out in San Francisco with my mom and aunt. We stumble upon a toy store and my aunt gets excited and tells me to wait outside while she buys me something. This got me excited. What was she going to get me? Lego? Something that flies? Maybe another train for my Brio set?
She comes out and hands me a little stuffed Curious George toy, and I had never once been into Curious George. I knew about it, but I never expressed interest in it. My aunt on the other hand LOVED Curious George, and already had a bunch of the franchise's stuff at her place, and I never paid much attention to any of it. I take the doll and look at it, my 8 year old face unable to contain the disappointment. After tumbling it in my hands for a few seconds, she snatches it away from me and says, "Fine, if you don't like it, I'll take it!" Which of course makes my juvenile brain want it back and also to not upset her, but she kept it anyways.
Not so much an insulting gift, just an insulting experience from an Aunt who knew what I liked, but decided to get me a toy of something she liked instead.
I Didn't Want To
Nothing.
My college boyfriend's mother got me nothing for Christmas. I had been with him for 3 1/2 years, bought everyone in the family a couple gifts, and I was staying at their house for our entire winter break. I didn't bring it up. I already knew she didn't particularly care for me.
I heard my boyfriend ask her why there weren't any gifts for me and she flat out said "I didn't want to."
