"What is the best South Park episode?"
...And Yet They Made It Funny...
"'Child Abduction Is not Funny' is my favorite episode."- redbush4real
A Show Set In Colorado Was Bound To Have A Skiing Episode
"I don’t know if it’s the best, but the one we quote the most often is The 80’s skiing movie/timeshare one."
'"STANNNNN DARSH'"
'"dude, he’s got Heather!'"
'"You need a montageeeee."- Bewildered_Wildcat
Lived Up To Its Title...
"'Awesome-o' is definitely my favorite."- Dr-Phil420
eric cartman robot GIF by South Park GiphyThe Only Good Time Anyone Should Have With Weapons
"'Good Times with Weapons', The ninja episode!"- liamsnorthstar
And It Didn't Stand For Marlon Brando Lookalikes...
"Cartman joins NAMBLA."- ycultak
Oh, the Shake Weight...
"Not the * very best* episode of all time, but I'm personally partial to Creme Fraiche."- Colour_me_in_
exercise sharon marsh GIF by South Park GiphyAnd Now They Own It...
"Casa Bonita."- Electrical-Lead5993
The Only Nanny Who Could handle Cartman!
"How has no one mentioned the 'Dog Whisperer' episode?"
"That one was hilarious and probably one of my favorite episodes."- RJValdez216
Butters Better Than Anyone, You Don't Mess With Cartman!
"Anything with Butters."
"His innocence and naivety always leads to hilarity."
"Butters Own Episode is one of my all-time faves."
"Outside of Butters episodes, 'Scott Tenorman Must Die' was fantastic."- tuanies
scared butters stotch GIF by South Park GiphyWhat HASN'T Cartman Gotten Up To?
"'Fatbeard'."
"The way Cartman glorifies living as a Somalian pirate as a fun life of adventure and then actually trying to do it, along with the song, is comedic gold."- htisme91
Tom Cruise Is Still Fuming...
"'Trapped in the Closet'."
"Sure it got Isaac Hayes to quit because Matt and Trey made fun of Scientology, but in all fairness, f*ck Scientology."- No_Restaurant4688
Beware Of Wendy...
"The one where Wendy fights Cartman."- SituationAshamed707
season 20 20x1 GIF by South Park GiphyEnough Said...
"THEY TURK OUR JERBS!!!"- Dr_Hump
And Still One Of The Least Controversial Things Russell Crowe Ever Did...
"MAKIN' MOVIES MAKIN' SONGS AND FIGHTIN' ROUN THE WORLD."- Frosty_Spray_8867
That Final Image Though!
"City sushi and city wok episode made my day."- shadow7658
south park f GIFGiphyWith 321 episodes in the bag, viewers certainly had a lot to choose from.
Now that it's been renewed through 2027, there will be even more hilarious, shocking, and disgusting episodes to choose from.
Always teetering on what some might consider bad consider bad taste.
"What's the best joke you know?"
Car Humor
"A lot of people tell me I’ve got an addiction to brake fluid, truth is I can stop at any time."- SweetAndSourSymphony
Wait For It...
"This reminds me of the man who was driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery."
"He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, 'My car broke down."
"'Do you think I could stay the night?'"
"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car'."
"As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound."
"A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before."
"The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind."
"He doesn't sleep that night; he tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound."
"The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, 'We can't tell you'."
"You're not a monk'."
"Distraught, the man is forced to leave."
"Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again."
"The monks reply, 'We can't tell you'."
"'You're not a monk'.”
"The man says, 'If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk'."
"The monks reply, 'You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand'."
"When you find these answers, you will have become a monk'."
"The man sets about his task."
"After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery."
"A monk answers."
"He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."
"'In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for'."
"By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change."
"Only God knows what you ask."
"All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."
"The monks reply, 'Congratulations'."
"'You have become a monk'."
"'We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound.'"
"The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, 'The sound is beyond that door'."
"The monks give him the key, and he opens the door."
"Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone."
"The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby."
"And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond."
"Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold."
"The sound has become very clear and definite. "
"The monks say, 'This is the last key to the last door'."
"The man is apprehensive; his life's wish is behind that door! "
"With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open."
"Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......"
"But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk."- 2TicketsToFlavorTown
Are You Kidding Me Alyssa Edwards GIF by NETFLIXGiphyBoat Humor
"Why do SCUBA divers fall out of the boat backwards?"
"Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."- hoooligans
Super Funny
"Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says 'you know, last week, I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window'."
"The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar."
"The second guy says, 'What, are you nuts?'"
"'There's no way that could happen'."
"'No, it's true'," the first man says."
"'Let me prove it to you'."
"He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below."
"As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar."
"He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished."
"'You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke'."
"'No, I'll prove it again,'" says the first man as he jumps again'."
"Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window."
"Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it."
"'Well, why not', the second guy says, 'It works'."
"'I'll try it'."
"He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors, and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT."
"Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, 'You know Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk'."
Man Of Steel Ok GIFGiphyOops!
"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?"
"The taste."- vietbond
Um...
"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?"
"Because they're really good at it."
Nick Offerman Thumbs Down GIF by NBCGiphyWhat time is it after you're done reading these jokes?
It might not be time to laugh, because some of these jokes are NOT funny.
Only kidding...
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
Fat GIF...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyon
the emperors new groove hangover GIFGiphyThis could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
Reddit user Smoke1000Blunts asked:
"Teachers, what was hilarious at the time that you absolutely 100% could not laugh at?"
The "problem" (and I use that term loosely) is that sometimes you're in a position where laughing isn't okay. You don't want to laugh in a crying child's face because the reason they're crying is the cutest thing you've heard all week. You don't want to reward certain behavior with laughter.
You don't want to risk your safety like this first-person:
The Tantrum
"I had a kid who got extremely angry because I told him that he couldn’t do something - I honestly don’t remember what."
"He started stomping and screaming and became so angry that he dropped his pants and stood there in his underwear glaring at me."
"I wanted to laugh so bad but it would have just pissed him off more and that would not have helped the situation. I knew from experience with this child."
"This kid was crazy smart. He taught himself to read before he went to kindergarten - like full on books, not just sight reading. I was his preschool teacher and realized he was actually reading books on his own, not just reciting them from memory or using sight words."
"I brought it up to his parents - they hadn't taught him how to read. He taught himself because he wanted to know."
"He was also crazy manipulative."
"His mom is great about holding boundaries and not giving in, his dad on the other hand..."
"This was years ago and the kid's got confidence out the wazoo, still. It'll be interesting to see where he ends up in life."
- talibob
He Meant Gong
bbc two bang GIF by BBCGiphy"The time a fourth grader asked me to show him my dong. Loudly. In front of his entire class."
"I’m a music teacher. And a female."
"He meant he wanted to see a gong."
- urbancowgirl42
"I taught middle school band."
"My student came to me to let me know he couldn’t find the bong."
"When I asked if he meant the GONG he totally realized what he had said and his face got so red."
- MustangSmilie
Ye Olde Phone Numbers
"I’m a history teacher."
"We were looking in the textbook at a section on the founding fathers. Several of them had their own subheadings and a little paragraph about them. Like this:"
"George Washington (1732-1799)"
"Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)"
"Benjamin Franklin (1707-1790)"
"I then had a student raise their hand and ask, completely serious, 'If you call these numbers, do they still work?' ”
"She thought their birth and death dates were their phone numbers. I teach high school, the class lost it, and it took everything in me to keep a straight face."
- snapdown91
Going Bald
"5 year old starts randomly bawling. Quite concerned, I rush over and ask what's wrong."
"She holds up a single hair and says her hair is falling out and she's going bald."
"I had to - with a straight face and with sincere concern to validate her feelings - explain that hair falls out naturally but new hair takes it's place."
- snoobsnob
"I had this fear as a child 🤣"
- KamuSugo
"I… no one taught me about this. I had to find out last year (I was 25)."
- LilLovelyLilly96
Virgins
Busch Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"Field trip instructor."
"I was leading a discussion on food chains with some 4th graders and asked what we call animals that only eat plants."
"The answer I got was 'virgins.' "
"I was looking for 'herbivores,' would have taken 'vegetarian.' I was not prepared for 'virgin.' "
- Evolving_Dore
"I used to think virgins are nicknames for people from Virginia."
"It was very confusing reading a Dear Anne newspaper section and all I could think was:"
" 'Why does it matter where you're from? Why do you keep repeating it?' "
- AlienBeingMe
Easy To Remember
"My first year teaching, I was going over the parts of a parabola."
"So I had my boring ole parabola up and I drew a dot at the vertex. Some kid goes:"
" 'That is the easy one to remember, it's the nipple of the titty.' "
"I had to keep facing the board for a bit so push back the smile."
"Unrelated note: This is the exact thing my classes learned about this week. And I can't look at a parabola anymore without seeing a droopy boob."
- Makenshine
Candy What?
"Oh man, I was the kid and it was like 18 years ago and I STILL cringe/laugh at myself."
"We had to pick stories to read out loud in front of the class, and I picked this cute one about Candy Stripers - you know, volunteers for hospitals who get to wear the cute striped apron."
"My dumb kid self kept mis-reading it out loud MULTIPLE TIMES. So it came out like:"
" 'And when I grow older, I want to be a candy stripper!' ”
'I can still hear my teacher wheezing with a red face in the back of the classroom."
"For the life of me at the time, I could NOT figure out why she kept laughing. But as an adult it kills me."
- AntipatheticDating
Phlebotomy Flub
Parks And Recreation Thumbs Up GIF by HULUGiphy"I was a phlebotomy instructor (sorry not a 'teacher teacher') and one of my students (fresh out of high school, so she was young) was practicing on an elderly patient."
"He asked her if she was going to take all of his blood. She responded quite joyfully 'Yes, I’m gonna suck you dryyy!' ”
"The old man got the funniest surprised look on his face and I about lost it but somehow kept it together."
"Oh man, the look in her face and the 50 shades of red she turned after she realized how that came across… absolutely priceless."
"Will never forget that."
- Secret_Squirrel97
Never Learning Subtraction
"I was helping a third grader who didn't want to work on his subtraction of three digit numbers that required borrowing."
"I told him, 'Fine. Never learn to do this. Then I'm going to open a store that sells things you absolutely love. And when you give me your money, I'll just randomly hand you back change that is less than you should actually get because you can't do the math to figure it out...so I'll just take all your money and you probably won't even know.' "
"He looked at me dead in the eyes for a few seconds before stating, 'That's bullsh*t.' "
"I had to hold back laughter for about a good 20 seconds before I could reply, 'You're right, so learn to do addition and subtraction and you won't have to worry about it.' "
- DawgHogger33
'You' Isn't The Bad Word?
"I used to teach 3rd graders who were non-native English speakers."
"One time one of them ran up to me to tattle on his classmate and said 'Teacher, Teacher, Tunwa just said 'F*CK YOU!'!!' "
"Tunwa, who was running behind him goes 'No teacher, no!! I only said 'F*CK' I didn't say ..." *looks around and starts to whisper* '...you...' "
"I was like, 'No, no! That's not the bad word, it's the other one!' "
"I was dying, I had to turn around and go laugh behind a corner."
- nickbkk
Parents, teachers, childcare providers, people who have spent more than 4 minutes and 28 seconds in the presence of a sassy-kid:
What's the funniest thing YOU'VE tried not to laugh at?
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Curious to hear examples of when people were way off about someone they thought they knew, Redditor AlyksTheSage asked:
"What's something a friend or family member said/did that made you think 'I'm embarrassed that I even know you?'"
These former friends put on quite a display at food establishments.
Having A Conniption Fit
"An ex-friend threw a temper tantrum in a Jack-in-the-Box because the cashier got her order wrong. Talking stamping her feet, gesturing with her arms, pouting, temper tantrum."
"She was 23 at the time."
"We are no longer friends."
– Eezez
Meltdown At Chipotle
"Last week my fiancee's coworker decided to 'skip the line' by ordering grubhub from the line. This was a Chipotle."
"She ordered maybe 7/8 people back, and then proceeded to stay in the line with all of us saying 'i'm just picking up' to everyone who asked what she wanted and would have made it in front of her."
"When she got to the cashier and gave her the info, the cashier was like 'oh ok, well, it will be ready in ten minutes' because f'king obviously."
"She flipped out. Like absolutely lost her sh*t, called everyone names, did the absolute 'dependapotomous' (spelling, I'm not military, sorry) thing where she started shouting about how she was a military spouse and 'when she orders, you make the f'king food'."
"She proceeded to break the phone out, start filming, and continue screaming at people for disrespecting a veteran that way. Again, I am f'king shocked I haven't seen this online yet."
"So how things round out, is they finish her order and the manager brings it to her, thanks her for her husband's service, and tells her she needs to leave and he'd appreciate it if she never came back."
"Her response was 'I don't like your f'king wetback food anyway.'"
"I had driven my fiancee and this woman to this chipotle, and I had to drive this total douche canoe home from this Chipotle."
"It was total silence other than her texting furiously, and occasionally huffing and puffing, until we got about a block from her house and I didn't feel like making a difficult left and told her to just get the f'k out of my car."
"Easily the stupidest, worst person I've had to engage with to that degree since High School. Like, f'k politics: Who raised you?"
– iph0ne
Racist Coworker
"When I went for sushi with some coworkers and the one dude I convinced to come because I thought he was cool just asked for french fries and sat there and pouted because he didn't want to eat 'all this gay jap food' quote."
"Why the f'k did he come then? never been so disappointed in someone. dinner with coworkers is always risky. made the entire thing awkward as f'k."
– grass-snake-40
Some Redditors wished they were not related to these family members.
The Last Straw
"I have an uncle that’s loud, willfully ignorant, and has used temper tantrums and unpleasant behavior to get his way his whole life. He’s like the villain in a bad teen novel."
"The last straw for me was when my grandparents passed away. He tried to steal everything from his siblings. When my mother stood up to him he threatened to kill her."
"I’d really like to believe there was a mixup at the hospital when he was born and that we aren’t really related."
– Fromanderson
Out Of Line Questioning
"My aunt asked someone 'aren't you too old to be pregnant?' The lady was in her 40's and NOT pregnant."
– Pastafarian_Pirate
Bad Bar Behavior
"A family member got banned from a local pub for spitting peanuts at someone with an allergy..... like just why, just no."
– soydinosaur
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...Mom's A Racist
"My mom and I were debating racism and I told her that she's racist. Her response:"
"I'm not racist, I just think all black people should go back to Africa."
– KeepYourDemonsIn
"Have an aunt that I’m embarrassed to share blood with (dad’s sister). She’s an LVN and last year she faked 'being deployed' to Afghanistan to help with the Covid relief. She’d post pics on Facebook (she’s addicted to social media and photoshop) from other old news articles claiming she was in them and would brag to the whole family that she got to go on missions because she was the only one 'skinny enough' to fit in the helicopter."
"She was gone on this alleged deployment for 2 weeks before coming back but turns out she was somewhere at a hotel cheating on her husband again. She went to Mexico with a cousin of mine to get gastric bypass (no judgment there) but denies she got surgery and claims it just her amazing will power that caused her weight loss (she wasn’t overweight to begin with)."
"The cousin she went with was open about it and we were all concerned because she got really sick from it for a while. She was hospitalized for it and even when she got out, she denied getting it (which we couldn’t care less but it was still pretty bizarre)."
"She’s also faked cancer multiple times,and is currently harassing a now ex-wife of a man (both were family friends) she was caught cheating on with and sending her multiple threats on different burner phones claiming to be different brothers and sisters of my dad to make her feel unwelcome and ganged up on."
"Turns out, my aunt just didn’t want her near our family because she concerned about what all she knows and if she’ll tell us."
– Ally-2016
Some people's delusions are so wild, it's embarrassing to know them.
History Denier
"A friend that argued that Pompeii wasn´t real and the remains that they found were just props."
"They said it was staged so people will get away from God because if they thought people died like that they would think God was evil."
– No-Cupcake888
Eating Denier
"Roommate walked into the room and told me my food looked good."
"I didn't have any food."
"It was his food that he had been eating before he left the room for less than 10 minutes. I told him that, and he didn't believe me."
– Leelluu
The Forecast Got Ugly
"My brother tried to argue that the weather is racist because it snows more where White people live."
– lllSnowmanlll
Fake Holocaust
"My sister is convinced the Holocaust is a hoax and that people weren’t actually murdered in gas chambers."
– Hardnipples0
Celestial Hoax
"My ex boyfriend said that the sun and moon are government projections and he was extremely upset when I told him that he’s crazy."
"He said I was ignorant lol. Pretty wild conclusions."
– lurkingherkin69
I'm proud to say, I'm a pretty good judge of character and I surround myself with good people.
I can't imagine being embarrassed knowing anyone since many of my friends–in spite of minor character flaws–all have redemptive values that far outweigh their shortcomings.
As to what they may think of me, well, I know I've embarrassed my friends and family on many occasions.
Thankfully, they've all decided to keep me around.
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